Oh hey, look, it's Kolivan, showing up six chapters in with locally roasted independent coffee because he can fight tyranny and capitalism. Multitasking! Just a light joke to start off this chapter which- hoo boy, this chapter. It is a thing. Boy howdy. Is it ever. A thing. And also how about the season 7 date? August! Isn' that exciting. I'm excited.
Until next time~!
maroon
chapter six
sacrifice
"Keith, you okay?"
Glancing over towards Shiro, Keith blinked. He hadn't expected Shiro to pull him aside, even if he sensed he'd been meaning to talk to him. "Yeah, fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
There was concern written in his features, and for a moment, he couldn't place why. "Just thought that maybe the space pocket might have some kind of effect on you, that's all."
Oh. That made sense, he guessed. Giving Shiro a weak smile, Keith put on his helmet. "I'm fine, Shiro, I promise. This is nothing."
There was a faint sense of distortion, but it was nothing compared to the corrupted wormhole. If he didn't focus on it, he could barely even feel it.
Shiro, however, took his answer the wrong way, frowning. "So it is something."
Heaving a sigh, Keith gave Shiro a look. "I know you're worried about me Shiro," which was still a weird concept for him, but okay, if that's what they were doing, he guessed he could accept that, "-but I promise you, I'm fine. I've had this ability my entire life, I'm not about to drop dead because of minor background interference."
That seemed to put Shiro more at ease, his frown fading. "Alright, if you say so Keith. I'm still just trying to wrap my head around it."
That was fair too. There was a lot about his own reazit that he didn't understand, that none of them did. It wasn't like his grandmother's, who possessed the ability to alter the flow of quintessence. It was what allowed her to construct the device that kept him human in the first place, though few of their agents had ever had the chance to use it.
It was funny to think that he was one of them, given how sickly he'd been in his infancy. He was lucky to have survived- if his mother hadn't gotten him back to the main base in time, he probably never would have made it.
A sobering thought.
"Now come on," Shiro told him, resting a hand briefly on his shoulder, "-let's not keep Ulaz and the others waiting. I'm pretty sure Pidge is ready to vibrate out of this reality if we don't hurry up and show her how this space pocket works."
Letting out a faint snort, Keith glanced over towards Pidge, to where she was lingering by the red lion's ramp. She certainly looked excited, barely containing herself, on the verge of asking a million questions the moment she so much as got the chance. He had a feeling she'd like it, so it was good to see that he was spot on.
Hunk just looked nervous, but that was to be expected. That he was willing to go- and the fact that he was the first one to volunteer hadn't escaped him- was definitely a sign of the progress that he had made since becoming the yellow paladin.
He doubted either of them actually trusted Ulaz, but they were willing to at least try. He tried to take that as it was- a positive, but at least Ulaz was being up front about what he was, not pretending to be something and someone else like he was.
He just hoped that when the time came, it wouldn't crush everything that they had built so far. It was just- the universe needed Voltron, so they needed to be able to connect with each other on some level, and he couldn't risk that.
That was all.
He should tell them, some part of him whispered.
Right here, right now, without waiting for Kolivan's orders. They had come this far, and even after seeing Central Command for themselves, seeing firsthand what overwhelming odds they were facing, none of them had backed out of the fight. They deserved to know the truth about who they were fighting alongside.
But he didn't. Instead, all he did was mutter something along the lines of wouldn't want that, and busied himself with launching the red lion. If Shiro noticed that he was trying to distract himself, he didn't say anything- and he didn't even have to ask if Ulaz noticed.
Of course he did.
Still, he put it from his mind, instead listening to Red's low purr fill his mind. He had never been to this particular base before, so at least in so far as that went, he was on a level playing field with the other paladins. He knew that the gravity generator had been designed by Slav- and he couldn't help but twitch when Ulaz mentioned his name- but beyond that, he knew basically nothing about this place.
He didn't even know where to dock, not without Ulaz pointing it out.
There was something strange, he thought, about being in one of the Blade of Marmora's bases, clad in the armor of a paladin. He hadn't paid the feeling much mind when the wormhole had deposited him at the abandoned base, not with so many other things to think about, but now he couldn't shake it.
Hanging behind the rest of the group, Keith watched as Ulaz lead them to the control room, unable to shake the strange feeling of distance. It made his skin crawl, especially since he couldn't pinpoint the cause of it- was the distance he felt between him and Ulaz, and thus, the Blade of Marmora as a whole, or was it between him and the paladins?
He didn't know. He didn't feel like he wanted to think about it that much.
This was one of their bases, yes, but just like the abandoned one, this wasn't home. It was a line of thought that caught him separating himself from the rest of the group, trying to bury the feeling deep down.
He had never felt homesick before, not exactly. Sure, he missed his fellow Blades- but it wasn't the same intense feeling that sometimes plagued Lance, or the longing that would haunt Pidge at all hours of the night. Now, however, he felt it- and decided very quickly that he didn't like it, not one bit.
Shaking it off, he joined everyone else.
Pidge asked about her family, which he had expected.
Shiro asked about Ulaz's blade, which he did not.
He hadn't brought his own knife with him, not this time. Usually he kept it concealed in his armor, not wanting to part from it, but he'd left it behind this time, just in case. It was an overabundance of caution on his part- Ulaz wasn't about to do anything that would blow his cover, but carrying it around during a time like this made him feel like he was holding a hot coal.
"It is a ceremonial blade that each member of our order carries." Ulaz told Shiro, holding out the blade for him. "We can use it to identify our fellow agents in the field."
"Is it made out of luxite?"
Pidge's sudden question took them both a bit off guard, Keith sensed.
"Yes." Ulaz told her, sheathing his blade. "How did you know?"
"Coran told me." Pidge confessed. "I asked him about Haxus, and he said that the weapon that was used to kill him was likely made out of luxite. And since we now know for sure that it was someone from the Blade of Marmora that did him in, I just thought it was likely."
"Yeah, what was with that anyways?" Hunk asked. "Like, not that I'm complaining about the help, but it would have been kind of nice if they'd, you know, stuck around."
Keith forced himself to keep his expression neutral, biting back a comment that he had. He knew this was going to come back to bite him at some point, he just hadn't expected it to be like this.
"You would have to ask them." Ulaz remarked, doubtlessly getting some form of amusement from his predicament. "Not many of our agents are trained to deal with hostage situations. Perhaps they decided the risk was too high, and that it was better to allow you to handle it on your own."
"Still, we owe him our thanks. Taking out Haxus was a huge help." Shiro said. "The situation could have ended much worse were he not there."
"Yeah, snooping around our ship." Pidge pointed out.
Technically, not snooping. Allura had allowed him free access to the castle-ship. Granted, she'd done so under the impression that he was human, but still.
"I will pass on the message, given the chance." Ulaz told him- and there it was, the faintest note of mirth in his voice. Keith arched a brow at it, but bit back any remark that he was tempted to make.
He was not going to blow his cover over a smart remark.
He just wished he could have done more to stop the invasion in the first place. Kolivan had warned him that there was a chance that Sendak might still be alive, but he hadn't thought to check. Sure, he had other things on his plate- the princess had kept them pretty busy with training, but he still could have spared some time to do some scouting.
If he'd just done that, then Lance wouldn't have gotten so badly hurt, and Allura wouldn't have had to watch her father die for a second time.
But they also wouldn't have found and freed the Balmera, and Hunk wouldn't have gained the confidence that he so desperately needed. It was a trade off, he realized, and he couldn't decide which was worth more than the other.
It wasn't a question he was able to dwell on long- the blaring of alarms cut such thoughts short. Jerking his head up, Keith felt a sense of dread gnaw at him, as Ulaz brought up the source of the alarms onscreen.
He recognized that coffin- it was the same kind that had crashed onto the Balmera.
"You were tracked!"
The words sent a bolt of fear to him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Tracked? How? Suddenly recalling Allura's words, he felt his stomach twist in a knot, and he knew that the feeling of dread that washed over him had nothing to do with the robeast. He couldn't even feel it from inside of the space pocket.
Was it him?
Had Zarkon's witch done something after all?
Desperately trying to push such thoughts out of his mind, Keith felt himself tense. He couldn't afford to think about that now. They had barely beaten the last one- he needed to put his all into focusing on beating this one. He could almost catch Shiro's flicker of worry, and as much as he wanted to try and reassure him that he was fine, he didn't quite have it in him, not right now.
He felt Ulaz's, too.
Right. He must have read the reports. Knew that these things gnawed at his weakness- which was all his ability was, a weakness. He might have been drawn to the blue lion, but he hadn't even been able to find where it was without Hunk and Pidge's help.
And now it might be letting Zarkon's witch track them.
No. He would worry about all of that later. Just because they had found them once, didn't mean it would happen again. After what happened with the shield, Zarkon doubtlessly now knew that there were traitors in his ranks, and was likely actively searching for them. Maybe he was just overthinking this.
"We have to get back to the Castle." Shiro said.
Giving Shiro a curt nod, he made ready to follow them out. Ulaz stopped him, not with words, but by a gentle touch to his back, one that caused him to turn around, looking up at him. The others didn't notice that he wasn't behind them, not yet, at least.
He held out his blade, shrunken down into it's unawakened form.
He knew, without him needing to say anything, what that meant. He could almost see the gears in his head turning. At first, he wanted to turn it down- they could beat this thing. Sure, it had been the Balmera who had saved them in the end from the last one, but that was then, and this was now. He didn't need to-
Keith took the blade.
It was just a precaution, he told himself. Wrapping his hand around the hilt, he held it tight, locking eyes with Ulaz.
"You'd better come back for this."
Ulaz promised him nothing.
"Fight well, Kyix."
"Where's Keith?"
It was only when they reached the red lion, that Shiro noticed that Keith wasn't with them. He didn't have long to contemplate the question, before Keith caught up to them, flashing them an apologetic look. There was something strained to it, Shiro thought, but no sooner than had he noticed that, was it gone again.
"Sorry," he told them, before holding out a data chip to Pidge, "-you ran off before Ulaz could give you this."
Taking it from him, Pidge turned it over in her hands. She didn't even have to ask to know what it was- the prisoner records that Ulaz had promised her. Clutching it tight, she gave him a firm nod of her head, one that Keith returned.
"Okay," taking his seat, Keith gripped the red lion's controls, "-let's get out of here."
"Open a line to the Castle." Shiro instructed him.
He got the strange feeling that the data chip hadn't been the only thing that had held Keith up, but now wasn't the time to ask. He didn't know if he'd get a straight answer out of him anyways, but the odds of it were better if he asked it in private.
Maybe the others didn't notice, but Keith's behavior had been strange, ever since the Blade of Marmora had been brought up. He was glad that someone was on his side here, but for it to be Keith? The only thing that did was raise questions. Trust was something to be earned with Keith- it wasn't something that he just gave out, willing to let just anyone in.
And yet, he trusted the Blade of Marmora. He believed this wasn't a trap.
Keith, the same Keith who had mapped out multiple escape routes from the Galaxy Garrison. The same Keith who slept in the red lion, because it was the most secure place in the ship- and when he didn't have a secure place to sleep, would sleep with a knife tucked underneath his pillow.
The interest he had taken in Krolia... he didn't know why that was still on his mind, but it was. Maybe it was just because the two faintly resembled each other, but for whatever reason, he couldn't shake it.
Come to think of it, Keith hadn't been the only one to express interest. At the time, he didn't think there was anything too strange about Krolia's questions, but now that he thought about it again, he couldn't shake that faint look of disappointment she'd worn when he'd changed the subject, away from Keith.
Something was going on here.
Whatever it was, it didn't keep Keith from complying. Allura was furious, that much was clear from the moment her face came onscreen, betrayal clear in her features.
"I knew he could not be trusted." She seethed, and out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn that Keith grew stiff.
"It wasn't him." Shiro told her.
It couldn't have been. Whatever was going on here, however Zarkon had found them, he doubted it had anything to do with Ulaz. He believed in him- had faith that he was everything that he said he was. Maybe he was just being idealistic, but he considered himself to be a pretty decent judge of character.
He noticed, too, how his words took some of the tension out of Keith's shoulders- just as Allura's retort of how can you be sure put it right back.
...wait.
Keith couldn't be...?
No, he didn't have time to think about that right now. They still had the robeast to deal with- though part of him hoped that they wouldn't have to fight it. They had barely been able to defeat the last one, so it was clear that however these things were made, they were made of way tougher stuff than the average Galra warship.
He got the feeling they wouldn't get that lucky.
Gaze turning downwards to Keith, he could only hope that he'd be able to hold out. He knew now what these things did to him, and even if it wouldn't be anywhere near as bad as it had been on the Balmera, he'd rather avoid sending him out into battle. It was often that was a choice on the table, him being a paladin now, but if it was one that he could choose, he would.
Whoever- and whatever, some part of him supplied- Keith was, wherever he had come from, one thing Shiro knew for sure. They may have left the Garrison, but his mentorship was far from over.
Waiting in the red lion to launch felt like an eternity.
He tried not to dwell on Ulaz's blade, feeling like a heavy weight where he'd concealed it in his armor. Tried to convince himself that he'd only given it to him just in case, and that so long as he fought hard enough, that just in case wouldn't come.
Luxite was rare, and the supply of blades that they possessed wasn't infinite. His own had been passed down to him from his grandmother, who had gotten it from her mentor, who had held onto it after one of their pupils died. The passing of a blade to another Blade meant one of two things- either it was being handed down to become theirs, or it was because they felt they would not be much longer for this world.
He had been given a blade once before, by Asnik, on the promise that he would pass it on to his brother, to be held in his keeping until there came time for a new Blade. Antok had accepted it without a word, but he knew he would guard it with his life, more so than that of his own.
Just in case, Keith told himself. Ulaz had only given him his Blade just in case. He would give it back to him, once this fight was over.
He tried not to think on it.
Instead, he thought about the robeast. Bringing it up on the red lion's screens, he frowned- there was something almost strangely familiar about it.
Commander Prorok, he realized.
It reminded him of Commander Prorok.
Ulaz had told him that he was being held on charges of treason against the Galra Empire. He expected him to be questioned, then killed once it was proved he knew nothing. There was no forgiveness within Zarkon's ranks- once convicted of a crime against the empire, there was no overturning that sentence.
Even if you were innocent.
This robeast, that looked like him... with a shudder, he recalled how Shiro had been convinced that the beast they fought on Arus had resembled the gladiator that he had defeated, Myzax.
Were the druids creating these beasts from living creatures?
With a shudder, he realized that had to be it. That was why they felt so foul to him- not because of the druid's magic, though that helped, but because of what they were, how they were made. Gripping the red lion's controls tighter, he heard her faint purr, using it as a means to ground himself.
He would have to tell Kolivan.
If this was true, then it was monstrous. If the druids were doing things like this, who knew what else they were up to?
He never liked Prorok. He was pretty sure even if he wasn't with the empire, he still wouldn't like him. But right now, the only thing he could think of was putting him out of his misery. He didn't deserve this- nobody deserved this.
Defeat the robeast, he thought, drawing in a long breath. Defeat the robeast, put an end to Prorok- or what remained of him- and keep Ulaz's gesture from having any meaning.
"Voltron is too valuable."
No.
"The universe needs you."
No.
The first thing they had ever felt from Keith's end of the bond was nausea.
The second was something that none of them could describe, even if they tried- just that they never wanted to feel anything like it, ever again.
The third was pain.
It shot through the bond, clear as day, the moment Ulaz returned. The moment it became clear what he was going to do. The moment he saved them.
Pain. Keith's pain.
They were shut out of the bond so quickly and so violently, that the force of it nearly threatened to break Voltron apart. It held together, somehow, but it was closer to it than it had ever come on it's own.
Shiro thought he felt an undercurrent to it, one that he suspected none of the other paladins picked up on. It was more than just pain that he was feeling- it was also loss.
Soul deep, aching, and raw.
He knew him.
Keith knew Ulaz.
It was the last piece of the puzzle that fit itself in place, forming a picture that part of him nearly wanted to deny. He trusted Ulaz, he had faith in the Blade of Marmora- they had saved him twice- no, three times now, and he saw no reason to think that anything they said was a lie. And yet...
"The Blade of Marmora is with you."
And so it had been, before he'd even left Earth. Before he'd even known the dangers that lurked in space. That was how Keith knew to come rescue him from the Garrison. Not from any carvings- but because he had been told.
Keith, who had been in the desert, following the pull of the blue lion. Ulaz, who had told him that the blue lion was somewhere on Earth.
Keith, who came from a war zone, who carried himself like a soldier, who knew too much and too little, both at the same time. Who never quite fit in, who never quite made the effort to, who trusted no one until they had proven themselves worthy of that trust.
Who slept with a knife under his pillow. Who carried it with him wherever he went. Who kept it's hilt wrapped, out of sight, hidden.
Keith who looked to the stars, and saw not mystery, but home.
Keith was the unknown. Keith was Blade of Marmora.
Keith was... was he Galra? That was the one thing he wasn't so clear on, not yet. He looked human- not to mention, he had passed all of the tests that the Galaxy Garrison put him through, including the medical tests. If there had been something weird about his results, surely they would have noticed, right?
But if he was, would it change things?
No, Shiro thought. No, it wouldn't change anything. Not for him, at least. He couldn't speak for the others, wouldn't even try- but for him, even if Keith walked out of the red lion one day with purple skin and golden eyes, nothing would change.
Keith Kogane might be a lie, an alias, but he knew one thing for sure- that the one who used that name was not such a great actor that he could have him completely fooled. Keith Kogane might be a lie, but the person who used that name was not.
Even if he was Galra.
Keith's presence on Earth before the Kerberos mission felt like it should be damning, and maybe it would be to anyone else. But no- the Kerberos mission being captured had nothing to do with Keith. He and the Holts had just been in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and that was all.
The Galra had done terrible things to him, yes- but humans were also capable of terrible things and vile acts, and had done so, throughout history. If he allowed himself to lose sight of that, to put this war in black and white, then he risked not seeing the whole picture. And the whole picture, as today's events had proved, was much more gray.
Ulaz was Galra. Krolia was Galra. They both had saved him. Ulaz had saved all of them.
Keith had saved him too.
Whatever Keith had been doing on Earth, he had been there for the right reasons- he knew that, even without having to ask. Would he like to know the story? Yeah, kind of. There had been a (possible) alien living at the Galaxy Garrison for over a year, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't find that at least a little funny.
Did he need to know the story to know that Keith was still a good person, still an ally that he could trust? No.
He was the red paladin. The red lion had chosen him.
He should speak with him, he knew. Let him know that he was on his side, that he supported him, no matter who he was, no matter what he was. Just... not now. Not when his pain was so raw, so fresh. He didn't know what their connection was, just that they must have been close to elicit that kind of response from Keith.
No, right now, he would let Keith mourn in peace.
Because that's what he was doing now- mourning.
And that, more than anything, told him everything he really needed to know about Keith.
Ulaz's blade felt heavy in his hands.
He hadn't dared to take it back to his quarters with him, instead stashing it in the red lion. She had promised him that she would keep it safe, and he trusted her. Ulaz had entrusted him with his blade, so it was his job to bring it back to the Blade of Marmora in one piece. To return it home.
He couldn't do that yet, so for now, he would keep it hidden. Safe.
He wasn't sure how he got through the rest of the day after that. It all happened in kind of a blur. He remembers the paladins being concerned about him when he left the red lion, and sort of recalls brushing them off, but not much of what happened after that. He'd been in a daze, he realized- nothing felt real, as if he had detached himself from everything.
Allura had moved them out of the Thaldycon system. They would not be meeting up with the Blade of Marmora- at least, not yet. Shiro wanted to find out how they were being tracked- if they were being tracked- before they even made an attempt to do so.
Staring down at Ulaz's blade in his hands, Keith traced the glowing symbol on it's hilt. Ulaz was gone, and it still didn't feel real to him.
He had died saving them, a hero. Giving his life for the sake of the universe, in hopes of a better future. Hopes that Voltron carried- that he carried.
He just wanted Ulaz not to be dead.
He knew, he understood, that this was war, and that in war, there was no avoiding casualties. That didn't mean he didn't mourn those who were lost, didn't mean that losing them couldn't hurt him. He took each one hard, but this one was harder than the rest.
He almost wished it didn't, but no- nothing good came from going down that path. That way lead to becoming like Zarkon, viewing those around him as little more than pawns, objects that were at his command. To him, a life meant nothing- nor two, nor three, nor even twenty or a hundred.
All that mattered was power.
Clutching Ulaz's blade tight to his chest, Keith closed his eyes. Ulaz had taught him how to fight, using his small size as an advantage, rather than a weakness. His mother had helped to hone his skills, and his talent with the blade was owed to her, but it had been Ulaz, who had always been fast and light on his feet, that had helped him to unlock his full potential, realizing that he couldn't fight as the rest of them did.
Ulaz, who before that, would come to the medical ward, teaching him about their culture, their history- the parts of it that Zarkon did not want heard. Patient, calm, and understanding- who did not rush him, but taught him that moving at his own pace and finding his own feet on his own time was what was most important.
He could have ruined himself, on that fragile border between healthy and ill, rushed forward too fast in an attempt to seize the former. Ulaz kept him from doing that.
He owed so much to him, and now he was gone.
He was gone, and all he had left of him was his blade.
That was the war they fought. More often than not, there was not even a blade to bring home. That he had one was a small mercy.
Kolivan, some part of him thought. He needed to contact Kolivan. Drawing in a long breath, he slowly uncurled himself, resting Ulaz's blade in his lap. He didn't want to put it away, not yet. Taking out his transmitter, he froze, recalling that the last time he'd used this, he had been contacting Ulaz.
Swallowing that back down, Keith switched it on.
Kolivan contacted him.
When he saw his face, Keith knew. He knew what Ulaz had done, knew that another Blade had been lost. Ulaz had been with the Blade since before his grandmother's time, and his loss would be felt.
"He's gone, Kolivan."
The words came out as a whisper, sounding so weak to his ears. Kolivan, who did not take the loss of a single Blade with ease, but as his own personal failure, did not admonish him for it. He understood.
"I know." Kolivan's tone was, for once, soft. Not vulnerable, never that- simply soft.
"He's gone because we weren't strong enough." Keith told him. "Because Voltron wasn't strong enough."
Because he wasn't strong enough.
"You are still young." Kolivan told him. "You will grow, become stronger. In time."
He was young, so much younger than the rest of them, and he felt that now, not even finding it in him to protest. Small, weak, yearning for someone who had been so important to him, blaming himself for not being strong enough to keep him alive.
The Blade of Marmora had lost an entire generation of children when his father betrayed them. They'd had no choice, and it was knowledge that haunted Kolivan with every day that passed. There were more children now, but he was the only one from his generation to have survived.
But not out of mercy. Not even out of pity.
He'd been rejected.
"I'm... sorry your father tried to kill you?"
He didn't even know why he was thinking that now. Maybe it was just because he had been back there, maybe it was because thought of death were fresh in his mind. His thoughts were all over the place. He needed to focus, to get a hold of himself, to give Kolivan a proper mission report- but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Voltron was supposed to change things.
But Ulaz was still dead.
They couldn't defeat the robeast, and because of that, Ulaz was dead. Their victory at the Balmera meant nothing if they couldn't change how things had gone for thousands of years.
Drawing in a long breath, Keith steeled himself. Ulaz would not have wanted him to draw into himself this way, nor fall apart- he would have wanted him to move forward, to ensure that his sacrifice meant something. He was a paladin of Voltron now, and maybe he hadn't had the power to save Ulaz, but Kolivan was right- he was still young, and he would get stronger.
They would get stronger.
"I have to tell you," Keith said, "-about the robeasts."