Hey guys in honor of my birthday I decided to post a new chapter. I hope you enjoy!
Damnit
Well hello to you too, Regina
Shut up
What's going on?
…
Regina?
…
Regina if you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to call and keep you on the phone for a very long time
I can't fit my fat clothes
"You what?" Mary – Margaret apparently let what Regina told her in text go in one ear and out the other.
"I thought you said if I told you what was wrong you wouldn't call me." Regina huffed out when she answered the phone.
"Well we both know there was a possibility I would call. What's this about your fat clothes?"
"I've gotten so big I can't fit into my fat clothes." Regina half – whined into the phone.
"Oh, I see. Say it." Mary – Margaret teased.
"Don't make me; this is hard enough as it is."
"For goodness sakes Regina, it's not as if you haven't been pregnant before. You knew this was going to happen."
"I know, I know, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon."
"Okay, well now that we've addressed your denial, what would you like to do about it?"
"Will you come shopping with me?" Regina muttered under her breath.
"I don't think I heard you."
"Ahem, I said, 'Will you come shopping with me?'"
"Only if you let me take you to the maternity store." Mary – Margaret could hear Regina's indignation over the line. "Regina." Mary – Margaret returned tersely.
"Alright, fine. But most of the pieces have to come from the department store. I have an image to uphold at work. I refuse to be seen in frilly mu mus."
"What? Frilly mu mus?"
"Yes, those things you wore towards the end of your pregnancy. I'm a bit more refined." Regina could hear Mary – Margaret sigh into the phone.
"Regina, you know what, never mind. When do you want to go shopping? David's on his two week rotation so my evenings are free, but we'll have to bring along Neal."
"We can leave Neal with Robin."
"Can he handle Neal?"
"It'll be fine. I'll tell him it'll be practice for when Squishy gets here. Although, he thinks he's more brushed up on babies than I am because it's only been five years since Roland's been a baby and about twelve for Henry."
"Okay, so does that mean you want to go shopping as soon as possible?"
"Yes, tomorrow, when I get off from work. I'll even leave a little early. How does four o' clock, no earlier, no later sound?"
"That sounds fine Regina."
"Great, meet you at the house. Wait, damn pregnancy brain."
"What?"
"Robin doesn't get home until around six. How comfortable are you leaving Neal with Henry?"
"Um, well - "
"He's a very responsible twelve - year old. Neal can practically take care of himself, he just needs cheerios and Finding Nemo running on repeat." This time Mary – Margaret actually laughed into the phone.
"Well then, if you're that confident, I suppose he'll be fine for two hours. Robin will be home at six? You promise?"
"Yes, although I don't think the shopping trip will take that long. I'll have to get dinner sorted out for them as well."
"Ooooo, can you make your vegetable beef stew? Since I'm helping you out here?"
"I suppose I could do that for you."
"Alright, it's settled. I'll meet you at your house at four o'clock."
"No earlier, no later."
"Yes, yes, I know the drill."
"Do you? Sometimes I don't think you do."
"Good – bye, Regina."
Regina clicked her cell phone off and placed it on the counter. Then she stabbed the knife she was using to slice vegetables into the bamboo cutting board. That got Robin's attention.
"Regina?" He called out, holding out the last syllable. Regina sighed in response. Robin rolled his eyes. Lately Regina had been getting on his nerves. He couldn't understand what was wrong with this woman he called his wife. It was understandable that she would be a little needy but her behavior far exceeded his expectations. With her behavior early on in the pregnancy he thought he would have to practically beg the woman to take it easy and let him do some of the work for her. She was driving him up the wall about every single little thing. This morning it had been how she could barely fit into her pantsuit that she wanted to wear to church. He suggested she wear one of her period dresses, like he did a few months ago before they realized she was pregnant. The look she gave him would have killed Hitler on sight. She stalked off to the closet and pulled out her dresses, tossing them on the bed and asked him to pick one out. He hesitated before she shouted at him to go ahead and pick one since he was so damn smart. One by one she tried on those dresses and one by one they got stuck when she tried to pull them over her belly. The first two try – ons Robin chuckled, but after the fifth dress he actually felt sorry for his wife. She couldn't go to church with them so she sent the men off because Robin clearly needed a reminder how he was supposed to treat his wife and the boys needed a good example to follow.
Regina stood at the kitchen counter, her hand still on the hilt of the chef's knife she was using. Approaching her from behind, Robin placed his hands on her shoulders. She tensed. He rubbed her shoulders until she relaxed a little bit.
"Regina love, what'd that cutting board ever do to you?" Regina let out a wry laugh, shaking her head. That was one of the things she loved about Robin, his ability to diffuse a situation with his cracked up sense of humor. Her chuckle soon dissolved into a fit a laughter that had tears streaming down her face. She eventually turned around in his embrace and brought her arms around his neck and just held him until she calmed down. Robin pushed her back so he could get a good look at her and gauge whether or not his wife had finally gone off the deep end.
"Right, now that you've calmed down, tell me what's going on."
"Do you know what I just had to do?" Robin shook his head no. "I just had to call and ask Mary – Margaret to take me maternity clothes shopping."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"She's wanted to go for a couple of weeks now. She was holding this over my head. Practically laughing in my face for my thinking that I could get away with wearing my regular clothes for much longer. Oh Robin, this isn't fair." Robin pulled her back into an embrace, chuckling and rubbing her back.
"Oh love, no it's not fair that you get to carry our child in your belly, protecting it, nourishing it, caring for it, making sure it'll be the most awesome kid in the whole wide world and I don't. If I could I would carry it for you so you don't ruin your figure. But I can't. Tell me what I can do to help." Regina stopped sniffling and looked up at him. Slowly her mouth spread into a wide grin. "Uh oh, I take it back!" She tossed her head back and laughed.
"Oh, no, you don't get to take it back. The baby is already in here," she said motioning to her protruding belly, made more pronounced by the apron she had tied across it. "There is something you can do."
"I have a feeling I'm going to regret asking, but what is it I can do for you?"
"You can hand me your credit card."
"My credit card? You have one of your own!" Robin was incredulous that his wife would ask for his credit card. They were both older and had their own finances sorted. When it came to paying bills in the house, Regina paid the mortgage and Robin paid the utilities. Most of the time groceries would come out of Regina's pocket as well. He never thought she would be the type of woman to ask for her husband's money after being independent for so long.
"Mmmhmm, it's your part in taking care of Squishy," she said as she returned to chopping the vegetables for a wedge salad she was making to snack on.
"Well, okay, just don't crazy, okay?"
"I promise. Something else."
"What's that?"
"I need you to watch the boys tomorrow afternoon. Neal too. And I need you to go to the grocery store right now."
"Watch the boys tomorrow afternoon? I don't get home until sixish, you know that."
"Well, watch them when you get home. Henry should be okay until you get here."
"You're going to trust your twelve – year old son to watch Neal and Roland?"
"He can do it."
"Alright, and what is it you need from the store?"
"Ingredients."
"Oh? Ingredients for a curse?" Regina looked indignant.
"So my cooking is a curse now? How about you find something else to eat for dinner tonight, then?"
"I'm just teasing Gina, I love your cooking! I'm not a very good cook myself and your food tastes heavenly."
"Uh huh, I see. I need stuff for vegetable beef stew. It's Mary – Margaret's payment for taking me shopping."
"Alright!" Robin exclaimed excitedly. "I've grown quite fond of your vegetable beef stew."
"Good, now be a dear and be off with you. Can you take the boys with you too? Let them pick out a dessert that may or may not have something to do with chocolate ice cream."
"You want chocolate ice cream?"
"Nooooo, the boys want chocolate ice cream. And Squishy, but Squishy can't come with you to the store right no, it wants to stay here, nice and warm and tucked away in my belly." Robin laughed and wrapped his arms around Regina's front, caressing her stomach, rubbing soothing circles. They were somewhat anxious to feel the baby kick. Sometimes Regina thought she could feel rumblings, but then she would pass gas. Another annoying thing about pregnancy; that darn uterus rearranging her internal organs and compressing them this way and that. They stayed that way for a little while until a small voice interrupted them.
"Mama, can I have a snack, please?" Roland looked up at Regina, with his hands clasped together underneath his chin. She chuckled lightly and stooped down to grasp his chin and tilted it upwards.
"Of course you may, my little knight. Here, have a banana." Roland shook his head no.
"Mama I don't want a banana. I want chips."
"You may have a banana or nothing. Which will it be?" Roland titled his head down with a pout on his lips. He looked back up at her with the tiniest of tears pricking the corners of his eyes. His lips trembled slightly, threatening to utter the smallest of sobs. Roland was really milking his feigned hurt. Regina played these games just as well, if not better than the five – year old. She caught on a few weeks ago that he was looking for attention and it didn't matter what kind he got – negative or positive. "Now Roland, you know that won't work on me. Your father perhaps, but not me. I've raised a five – year old already. I know all the games and I've won them all." Roland looked up at her questioningly, the tears receding. It was really Henry's idea in the first place. Roland wasn't even hungry, Henry wanted the snack. Henry wanted the chips and figured Roland could adorable his way into convincing Regina to give them some chips. Roland was fumbling now; he wasn't sure what to do. Neither he nor Henry discussed what to do should Regina say no. So, Roland just stood there, looking a like a deer caught in headlights. He watched Regina and Robin exchange confused glances before his father finally stooped down to talk to him.
"Roland, you okay son?"
"Um, yes. I was just in the mood for something salty."
"In the mood for something salty?" Roland shook his head yes, enthusiastically. "What do you mean?" Not totally convinced that Roland knew anything about being 'in the mood' for different types of food.
"You know like mama!" This time Regina regarded him with an inquisitive look.
"Roland, what do you mean like mama?"
"You know when you say you're in the mood for stuff and daddy gets it for you." Robin stood back up and exchanged a look with Regina before the two adults burst into laughter. Regina was laughing so hard she brought a hand to her chest and clasped Robin on the shoulder. Roland was a little confused by his parents' reactions. He didn't know why what he said was funny.
"Oh, my dear boy. Regina, I think we'll have to give him the chips for this, just this once." Robin leaned in to kiss his wife on the cheek.
"Alright, I suppose just this once." Regina walked over to the cabinet that held the salty snack she sent Robin out to the store to get last week and placed a few onto a plate for him. Roland took the plate and headed towards the den.
"Roland, where are you going with those? You know have to eat at the table." Roland stopped dead in his tracks. Henry hadn't discussed what to do about that either. Clearly Henry needs to work on the finer points in Operation Snack.
"Um, I wanted to eat them while me and Henry watched my movie."
"It's a school night Roland, you're not supposed to be watching movies. Either homework or constructive play." Regina folded her arms across her chest, well now they rested on top of her belly, to emphasize how serious she was.
"Can I sit at the dining room table with them?" If he sat at the dining room table they wouldn't be able to see Henry help him eat the chips.
"I suppose that's alright," Regina relented.
"Eat up son, we're going to the store in about fifteen minutes."
"We are?"
"Yeah, mama needs some ingredients to brew a special potion." That remark earned Robin a smack on the arm. She resumed vegetable chopping.
"Special potion?"
"Your father's being silly. I'm making a special dinner tomorrow and I don't have everything I need, so he's being a darling prince and going to the store. Don't you want to go with him?"
"Ohh kay," Roland let out an exasperated sigh. He really wanted to finish the movie he and Henry were watching without their parents' permission. Henry had turned the tv on with the volume low. The idea was that since the parents were hanging out in the kitchen together, cooking dinner, they would be too occupied to come and check on the boys. That idea was a bust. Henry really sucked at his operations, Roland surmised.
When Roland finally emerged from the kitchen, Henry was waiting for him.
"How did it go?"
"Henry, your operation sucked."
"Whadya mean? You got the chips, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but mama tried to give ma a banana first. You didn't tell me what to do if she did that."
"Well, it seems you're a smart kid. You got us chips!"
"Uh – uh, they're my chips now. I worked real hard for them. Get your own." And with that declaration, Roland sat himself down at the dining room table and started munching happily away on the chips. Henry stared for a moment before reaching forward to steal a chip off Roland's plate. Roland looked at Henry as if he'd just punched him. It took a few moments before Roland let out a loud wail. Henry promptly dropped the chip he was holding and tried to shush Roland before the parents could make their way out to the dining room.
"Shhh, Roland be quiet. You'll get us into trouble. I'll let you read my new comic book," Henry pleaded. Roland continued to sob. "I'll watch Robin Hood with you whenever you want. We can go watch it right now, but you've got to stop crying."
"What. Is. Going. On. Out. Here."
Too late, Regina and Robin were standing in the swinging door that stood between the kitchen and dining room. Roland stopped crying and was merely sniffling. Henry abruptly stood up.
"Nothing."
"If nothing's going on, why is Roland crying?"
"He was sad because he had to sit at the table, right Roland?" Henry stared at Roland, hoping his body language would indicate that Roland should follow along with the lie Henry was telling. Brothers wouldn't rat each other out, right?
"Is that true Roland?" Roland swiveled his head between Henry and his parents. He certainly wanted to read Henry's comic book and watch Robin Hood. If his parents discovered he was lying that could end badly. He was already in enough trouble as it was with Regina. She no longer let him get away with his usual antics. He supposed that was because all her focus was on the baby.
"Roland, Regina asked you a question. It's okay, you can tell us the truth. Remember what happens when we tell lies," Robin said, hoping to coax his son into telling him what happened. Roland looked between the adults and Henry, pondering the right thing to do. Suddenly Roland's arm flew out with a finger pointing towards Henry as he declared,
"Henry stole a chip off my plate." Henry's eyes went wide from the betrayal.
"Roland." Henry gritted under his breath.
"Henry, why would you take food off your brother's plate?" Henry stood still. "Henry, I asked you a question."
"Because you wouldn't let me have any, but you would let Roland," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you. Speak up," Regina said tersely.
"I said I took a chip off Roland's plate because if I asked for them you wouldn't give them to me, but I knew you would give them to him." Robin and Regina looked taken aback. It was a few moments before Regina found her voice.
"Did you send Roland into the kitchen to get chips?" Realization dawning on her features. Henry shook his head yes. "Oh Henry," she said as she walked forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. They stood like that for a few minutes while Robin and Roland looked on. Roland was confused by the gesture. He thought for sure Henry would get into trouble and that he could munch on all the chips for all the trouble it took him to get the chips he didn't even want. Finally Regina pulled back from Henry, "Henry, I know you think it unfair, but I really prefer it if you and Roland didn't eat junk food and you know that."
"Yeah, but you still gave Roland chips," Henry surmised. Robin let out a chuckle from where he was standing.
"Well, Roland gave a pretty convincing story as to why he needed chips." Henry looked a bit confused and stood still, waiting for Robin to further explain.
"What could he have said to win you over? I make lots of convincing arguments and neither one of you buy them." Regina and Robin both laughed.
"Well, he concluded that if he said he was in the mood for them, we would give them to him."
"Huh?"
"You know, when mama says she's in the mood for something and daddy or me or you get it for her," Roland piped up. Henry let out a silent 'oh'.
"Yes."
"So, if I want chips all I have to say is 'I'm in the mood for chips.'?"
"Not exactly. We let Roland do it just this once. Junk food is still limited and will be regulated. Tonight however, we'll have chocolate ice cream for dessert. How does that sound?"
"Yay, we get ice cream!" Exclaimed Roland as he threw his hands in the air. Henry just stood with a puzzled look on his face.
"Why are we getting ice cream for dessert?"
"Well, Squishy may or may not want some."
"See? Even the unborn baby gets what it wants," complained Henry. All Regina could from popping Henry on his bottom was to throw her hands in the air. She wasn't looking forward to Henry's teenaged years if this was a preview of what was to come. Robin came to stand by her so he could try and talk to Henry.
"Henry, it appears this is a difficult concept for you to grasp, which I find rather disturbing because looking at your report card everything seems to point out that you're quite an intelligent lad. Your mother is pregnant."
"And an adult," she added, and then took over the conversation. "First and foremost, I am an adult. You are the child. Robin and I make the decisions and rules around here. I know you may think otherwise, but we were children once and had to follow our parents' rules. They set those rules and boundaries so we could grow up to be responsible adults. We are doing the same for you, Roland, and Squishy. We're not holy terrors. You have a roof over your head, food in your belly, electricity and luxury items such as video games, movies and comic books. Do you know how many children in the world don't even have a fraction of that? And you want to complain about not getting junk food whenever you want? I don't think so. Now you go upstairs to your room and sit and think about this little stunt you just pulled. You are old enough to know better and I had hoped you would set a good example for Roland and the baby. I was even going to let you babysit Roland and Neal tomorrow while I go shopping with Mary – Margaret because I thought you were responsible and mature enough to handle it. Now I'm not so sure. I just might have to find a baby sitter until Robin can get home in the evening."
Henry stood with his mouth agape, not sure he heard his mother correctly. He'd never had such a stern talking to from her before.
"I'm sorry, did you not hear me when I asked you to go to your room?" Regina reiterated. Henry backed up a couple of steps before turning around, running upstairs to his room and slamming the door shut. Everyone in the dining room jumped. Roland sat quietly in his chair. He wasn't sure what to make of everything that just happened. He hadn't meant to get Henry into so much trouble. And he certainly didn't want Henry to be mad at him.
"I'm sorry," Roland said quietly. Both adults turned to look at him.
"What did you say Roland?" Robin asked his young son.
"I said 'I'm sorry.'"
"What are you sorry for?"
"I didn't mean to get Henry in trouble. He's gonna be mad at me now. He won't let me in his room or read his comics or watch my movie," Roland's lower lip trembled. Robin stepped forward and grabbed Regina by the elbow to pull her into the kitchen so he could talk with her in private. They needed a united front. Robin hadn't expected Regina's outburst at Henry.
"Well this is quite a mess."
"All because you thought it was adorable that Roland was 'in the mood' for chips," Regina said, using air quotes. She walked over to her abandoned cutting board and started placing the vegetables into a big bowl so she could snack. Robin followed her around the counter.
"There wasn't any harm in letting him have some chips, Regina."
"Yes, well now Henry is upset because he couldn't have any."
"Those are your rules." Regina scoffed as she popped a slice of cucumber in her mouth. She chewed slowly as she considered how she wanted to handle Robin. He clearly also thought her rules were ridiculous. She finished chewing and swallowed. Her silence was killing Robin.
"Indeed they are. Henry had no problem following them before."
"Before? Before what? Me and my son moved in here with you and started building a life with you? Before creating life with you?" He added, motioning to her belly. She grasped her stomach lightly, shocked at Robin. "Regina, I love you but you and your rules would drive anyone batshit."
"I'm sorry?"
"Yeah, what kind of sane person denies their child junk food?"
"A person who cares whether or not her child lives to adulthood and doesn't develop health complications due to their diet, that's what kind."
"Come on Regina, some chips here and there isn't going to kill Henry. Look at Roland! He's healthy and happy! And I let him eat junk food now and then." Regina stared hard at Robin before popping a cherry tomato into her mouth. The juicy vegetable burst on her tongue. In the back of her mind she knew it wasn't going to kill Henry to have some chips, but there were rules set forth that he truly did not have a problem following until Robin and Roland moved in. She had to bend some of her rules to accommodate the small child. She wanted to treat both boys the same because she loved them just the same and didn't want either of them to feel she preferred one over the other. She didn't realize how hard it was to show each child equal attention and there was another on the way. She swallowed the tomato before pursing her lips together, contemplatively.
"I don't like to lose."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I don't like to lose."
"What are you losing, exactly?"
"This argument, apparently." Robin laughed out loud. Was his wife admitting defeat? "It's not funny. I'm going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the evening, so you get used to that. Now, go take the boys and bring back my ice cream."
"I thought we were getting stuff for vegetable beef stew."
"That too, but the most important item is the ice cream. Chocolate ice cream. I'll even write it on the list," she said as she headed to the refrigerator to get a piece of paper from the pad they used to write grocery items on. Robin stared at her in awe that she actually admitted defeat. He walked up and grabbed her from behind, placing his head in the crook of her neck before giving her a gentle kiss. They stood like that while she jotted down everything she needed from the store. Once done, she turned in his harms and pushed the piece of paper on his chest. "Now hurry home, I'm going to finish off this salad and start on dinner. I don't think Squishy can wait much longer for the ice cream." Robin held onto the paper on his chest and pecked her lips before heading out to the store.
As always, please R&R!