CHAPTER 20: MY WAY

watch?v=4lbhluK98-E this is my current obsession music wise and what I imagine Cedric's waltz being like. Its Merry Go Round of Life by Joe Hisashi from Howl's Moving Castle.

The wind whistled as Cedric opened the shutter of the study to allow Wormwood in. The night air was crisp, sending chills down Cedric spine.

"Safe flight?" Cedric asked as Wormwood hopped down Cedric's arm to the window sill.

The raven nodded. "Yes, cold but alright."

Cedric shivered, closed the window and returned to the mantle. He sighed and took his pipe from its case and filled it with a pinch of tobacco from a leather pouch. He took a match from his pocket and puffed three times to get the pipe going. He held the bent pear style pipe in his right hand and held the mantle with his left. The fingers of his left hand drummed out a beat as he puffed the pipe. He puffed few quick times in frustration before placing both hands on the mantel. He leaned against the fireplace staring down into the flames. He puffed the pipe again letting the flavors rollovers tongue. Hints of vanilla and whiskey lingered from the sweet smoke. He groaned and took the pipe from his mouth.

"I'm never going to get this right." He mumbled laying the pipe back on the mantel. He turned and grabbed his violin from the chair, tucking it under his chin he turned back to the fire place and drew the bow over the strings slowly. He began to play a soft waltz, adding his own flair to it, creating an upbeat melody. He played with passion, closing his eyes and moving with the song he created. When he played a sour note he began again until he was able to complete the melody in his head through the instrument.

"You're not done with that yet?" The raven asked. Cedric glared at his familiar.

"It has to be perfect Wormwood, not one sour or dissonant note."

"Of course the only time you seem to care about perfection is when it's for the princess."

Cedric glared at Wormwood again before tucking the violin under his chin once more. "It's a special occasion, Wormwood. She deserves nothing less than perfection. He stated as he played his tune, this time completing the song in its entirety. He smiled to himself as he turned to the mantel to scribble the final notes down on his score.

"It's very pretty, Cedric. I think she'll love it." The Raven said flying over to perch on his master's shoulder.

"You're giving me a compliment? Who are you when you've done with Wormwood?"

"Yes, I know, I don't do it often… but you really have outdone yourself this time."

"Thank you, old friend. That means a lot."

"Don't get used to it." He replied taking flight again, this time to the back of the wingback chair. Cedric smirked at his companion.

"I'm off to bed now. Good night Wormy." Cedric said stretching before the fire, then turning to scratch Wormwoods head.

"Goodnight." He said ruffling his feathers and enjoying the affection his mastered showed him. "I'll see you in the morning." He said taking wing to his perch in the higher level of the tower.

"I wonder who will take the news better: Roland or Wormy?" He scoffed, as he shuffled down into his chambers.

Cedric drummed his fingers against the tree root that cradled him. His pencil scratched over the parchment in quick fluid movements, pausing every so often as his fingertips tapped out a new rhythm. The garden was quiet, albeit the melodious sound of birdsong and the rustling of leaves. He hummed to himself as he etched more notes into the manuscript before him.

A slight smile escaped his lips as he laid down his pencil and looked over his completed work. Content with his final outcome, he rose to his feet and slowly made his way to the castle. Effortlessly he snaked his way through the halls to the unoccupied ball room. The bright rays of afternoon sun spilled down on to the instruments that filled the stage.

He tossed the score onto the seat at the piano and gave his hand a wave over the pages, muttering a spell under his breath. The pages hovered in the air as the piano lid opened, and the remaining instruments floated to attention. Cedric snapped his fingers and the violin appeared in his hand with a plume of green colored smoke. He inhaled deeply before he tucked the violin under his chin, and gave the score a tap with the bow.

The piano began to tap out a solemn melody on the middle and lower ranges, the middle range carrying the melody and the lower range driving the rhythm. Cedric pulled the bowstring across the violin playing a five note counter melody with piano accompaniment, but beautifully melding into a cohesive melody. Cedric closed his eyes as he played on, more instruments joining in as the song progressed. He lost himself in the beauty of it all, continuing to play the strong violin lead as another began a harmonious accompaniment.

He stood with his back to the door while he played so he could feel the warmth of the sun on his face. He was oblivious to the fact that Baileywick and Roland had entered the room and promptly made their way over to observe the Sorcerer as he played his song. Cedric drew the bow over the strings one last time and the final solemn note of the waltz, only to be snapped out of his day dream by small applause.

"Y-y-your Majesty..." Cedric muttered as he turned to find the king and Baileywick standing behind him.

"I wasn't aware that you could play." Roland said.

"Me either, your Majesty." Baileywick added.

Cedric cleared his throat nervously. "Well... Erm... I learned an early age. I-It's s-something that I've always enjoyed. I-I wasn't aware t-that anyone was listening."

"We were so shocked, by both the sight of you playing and the beauty of the song itself. I don't think I've ever heard it." Roland replied.

Cedric cleared his throat again. "T-That's because I… I wrote it, Sire. A-Actually, I was w-working out any last kinks before… before finding you… you see… I... it's for S - Princess Sofia's birthday. I was hoping, that p-perhaps it could be a gift to her at the ball… I know Baileywick plays as well, I thought, hoped, that he would accompany me while you and Sofia shared it as the first dance… a collective gift from the three of us."

"You… you wrote that? Really?" Roland asked in shock.

"Yes… I… it what I… It's how… Well if Sofia was a song –"

"This would be her." Roland finished nodding his head.

"I'm at a loss for words Cedric. It's beautiful, you play wonderfully. I think Sofia would love it. Baileywick?"

"I agree, your Majesty. I would be honored to accompany Cedric."

Cedric snapped his fingers in the violin disappeared in a puff a magical smoke.

"Good then. It's settled. Inform the band Baileywick." Roland declared.

"Right away, Sire. Cedric," he said hand outstretched toward the Sorcerer. "May I? Cedric gathered up the pages of the score and handed to his masterpiece to the steward.

"Your majesty?" Cedric asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Cedric?"

"I w-was wondering… W-well I've been wanting to have a p-private audience with you… Could we, please sire?"

"Well... It must be important for you to ask. And I have been waiting talk to you as well. Come join me on the balcony."

Cedric nodded and followed Roland onto the veranda.

The two men made their way across the veranda to lean against the railing, looking out over the castle grounds. They could see the rest of the royal family taking tea below on the edge of the gardens. The sight of Sofia gave Cedric the fire he needed to confront her father.

"It's nice to have everyone home again. I - I know you must have missed Sofia as well." Roland stated easing into the conversation he had been putting off and dreading for years.

"Yes, I have. Once you get used to having an assistant it's hard to go without." Cedric smiled and chuckled. "You should have seen her when she returned and saw the state of my tower." He laughed again. "She went right to work cleaning and organizing my things. Like she never been away."

Roland nodded at Cedric "She did wonderful job is ambassador. As much as I enjoy having her home, I'm afraid I might have to keep sending her away frequently to keep good terms with everyone."

"I assumed as much. She is a valuable asset as ambassador. As suits her." Cedric said dryly as he watched Sofia picking flowers.

"That it does. But enough about Sofia, what about you? What are your plans for the future?"

"Me? Well… I suppose that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Roland raised an eyebrow at Cedric.

"You're not going to like what I have to say." Cedric stated turning to face his king. Roland nodded and sighed.

"Is this a king to subject talk or man to man?"

"Man to man, I suppose." Cedric shrugged, hands in his pockets.

"Alright… the floor is yours Cedric." Roland said leaning back against the rail facing Cedric crossing his feet at the ankles.

"Okay then. You'll hear me out?"

Roland nodded again. Cedric cleared his throat before beginning his speech.

"I-I think you know what this is about, something I've been hesitant to act on. But… I can't keep pushing it aside. I… Well, I had this all planned out in my head, now it all is scrambled." He turned to gaze down at Sofia again. "I know that I haven't been the best man during my life. I've done many things I regret now, but if it hadn't been that way then I wouldn't be who I am now. My life was filled with darkness and it took a very special person to pull me out. And over the years… that person helped me to become someone I want to be. Someone my family can be proud of. Hopefully someone my king can be proud of as well." Cedric stated looking back to Roland. "And I know you're not going to want to hear this, but I promised I would make amends and do things properly."

"Do what properly?" Roland asked.

"Ask for Sofia's hand." He sighed, turning halfway to gaze down Sofia again. Sofia smiled up at Cedric and her father giving a small wave. He smiled slightly before turning back to Roland only to be met by Roland's fist. Cedric staggered over onto the rock railing of the balcony, his hand running over the side of his face where Roland's knuckles had made contact.

"Cedric!" Sofia yelled dropping her flowers to gather her skirts and rushed towards the stairs of the balcony.

"Sofia!" Miranda called after her daughter. Miranda cast her eyes up to the balcony where her husband stood, fist drawn back to strike Cedric again. Miranda pushed back from the table and rushed after Sofia, Amber and James following suit. Meanwhile Cedric stood his ground facing Roland again.

"Well, you don't disappoint. You can still throw a punch..." he stated wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. "Just like when we were kids."

"How dare you!" Roland growled, lunging forward to clutch Cedric's shirt between his hands, pushing Cedric into the rock again. "How dare you ask me that!" Roland seethed.

"I told you that you wouldn't like it." Roland slammed his fist back into Cedric's face, splattering blood across the stones. Cedric grimaced and spat out blood, glaring at Roland from the corner of his eye. An audible gasp came from Sofia she rounded the top of the stairs. Cedric's eyes slowly tore themselves away from the king and to the shocked faces of the royal family. Cedric felt blood dripping from his lips, he spit again, before prying Rollins hands off of him as he pushed the man away. Cedric stood up to his full height and straightened his shirt.

"Cedric -" Sofia cried rushing to his side. "What's wrong with you?" Sofia pressed, turning to her father.

"Sofia, get away from him." Roland demanded.

"What on Earth is going on?" Miranda asked. Sofia ignored her father's demands and took her handkerchief from her skirts and began wiping blood from the corner Cedric's mouth. He wrapped his hand around Sofia's.

"I'm alright." He told her, softly.

"What happened?" She asked a concerned look on her face.

"He didn't like where conversation went." He said dryly.

"You're damn right I didn't." Roland retorted attempting to take a step toward Cedric, but only to find Miranda's tight grip on his arm.

"Rollie?" Miranda pressed. Roland clamped his teeth down and glared at the man before him.

"I asked him for Sofia's hand. And his response was to give me his… and the form of a fist." Cedric stated, rubbing his jaw.

"Remember the talk we had Rollie?" Miranda asked. Roland rolled his eyes, and ground his teeth.

"Yes but-"

"No buts. You didn't even give him time to explain or ask Sofia what she wants."

"It doesn't matter because I do not approve."

"That was quite obvious." Cedric muttered, earning a glare from the king.

"Daddy…" Amber interjected stepping closer. "You married mom because you love her. You broke tradition and changed laws in order to do so. Sofia and I are very different, but we learned from you to marry for love."

"Yeah Dad, I mean, I never expected Sofia to marry for politics. And we all had our own suspicions." James added.

"It seems everyone knew how I felt before we did." Cedric said dryly wrapping Sofia in his arms.

"Apparently so." Sofia replied, as the twins shrugged in reply.

"Miranda, surely you don't approve of this!" Roland asked.

"I trust Sofia to make her own decisions."

"She's too young to make those kind of decisions!"

"Pardon, but I think if she can make decisions as ambassador then she can decide for herself whether to accept or decline my offer." Cedric stated, his grip on Sofia tightening.

"You stay out of it." Roland threatened jabbing a finger at the sorcerer.

"He has a point." Amber said.

"A very good point." James muttered.

"I don't understand, you're all okay with this? I grew up with him. He's a year younger than me, for fucks sake!" He yelled shaking his hands in the air. "You're too young!" He yelled at Sofia.

"You mean I'm too old for her. Don't you think I've gone over it all already? I've had the same thoughts, and fears. But for whatever reason… No." Cedric shook his head, waving a hand in the air. "You know what? I don't have to explain anything to you. I love her. She loves me. End of story." Cedric said taking said taking a step towards Roland, crossing his arms.

Roland pushed off Miranda and swung a fist at Cedric. Cedric was prepared this time; he grabbed Roland's wrist, sidestepped, twisted Roland's arm behind him, and proceeded to pin him against railing. The royal family gasped in shock.

"Seems like you've lost your touch, not in the habit of fighting much anymore I see. " He growled into Roland's ear, giving Roland's arm a sharp jerk before releasing him with a shove. He paused a moment to make eye contact with the king as he righted himself. "Pity. I think a good tussle would do us some good." He finished crossing his arms.

"Cedric!" Sofia scolded him placing a hand on his arm.

"What, it's how we used to settle things." He shrugged.

"He's right." Roland said rolling up his sleeves.

"You guys aren't serious are you?" James asked.

"I think it would do us some good." Roland said unbuttoning his vest.

"Cedric!" Sofia pleaded.

"Trust me, please?" He asked handing her his vest and rolling up his sleeves.

"You're both being ridiculous." Miranda said dryly, taking Roland's vest and ushering the twins and Sofia back towards the wall.

"So let's say I win, you actually hear me out. About mine and Sofia's future. I lose… well I think if I lose that that would be punishment enough. Agreed?"

"I prefer I win you leave Sofia alone, but I have a feeling that wouldn't faze you. So… I'll just pummel you until it's out of my system."

"We'll see. I'm not a stupid kid and more, Roland.

"So is this about us? Or the fact your pervy ass wants to marry my daughter?"

Cedric clenched his teeth at the low hit. "If you'd listened, you'd know your daughter wants to marry me. Out of all the people she knows, she chose me. And that's what really upsets you." Cedric shook his head, and scoffed. "You know today started out good, Hell, even great when we began this conversation. For a moment, it felt like you understood, like we were just two old friends."

"That ended long ago."

"Yes, well, that was you're doing, not mine." Cedric shook his head, his teeth clenched. "I did all that I could –"

"Don't you dare bring that up." Roland seethed lunging forward to take a jab at Cedric. Cedric easily sidestep the blow and brought the side of his hand down on Roland's neck, causing the man to stagger.

"So that's what this is really about isn't it? Why you'll never forgive me or trust me."

"Yes! Damnit Cedric. Damn you! Roland said taking another swing at Cedric, this time making contact with his stomach. Cedric coughed and hit Roland with an uppercut, knocking the king onto his back.

"I did everything within my power then! I did what you asked without a second thought! It's not my fault." He began to pace back-and-forth. "You've been punishing me all these years for what happened, that's fine; but don't take your anger and pain out on Sofia, as well!" He yelled turning towards the king.

Roland moved to his knees before lunging at Cedric, tackling him to the ground.

"Shut up and fight, damnit!" Roland yelled as he hit Cedric in the face over and over with his right fist. Cedric rolled the man to the right, switching spots with the king to where he was the one on top. Cedric punched Roland hard in the jaw, sending blood flying across the cobblestones.

"For fucks sake Roland, this is ridiculous!" Cedric painted as he pummeled his fist into the king's face over and over. Roland grabbed Cedric by his shirt and with all his strength threw the man off of him. Cedric stumbled backward as Roland took his footing. "How much longer are we going to go on like this?" Cedric painted, palms up. "I did everything I could to save her, and when it wasn't enough you asked me to do more! Do you have any idea what that did to me?" He said turning to lean on the railing gazing down at the palms of his gloved hands. "Fuck, Roland I didn't do it for her, I did it for you!" He panted, turning his gaze to Roland. "I didn't just lose her that day I lost you as well!" Cedric bellowed as rain began to fall. His bangs clung to his face, his voice faltered, Sofia couldn't tell if it was the rain or tears streaming down his face.

"What are they talking about?" James whispered.

"A - are they talking about… Mom?" Amber uttered.

Sofia's eyes gazed over at Cedric, it was then she understood. She knew why her father hated the man she loved. She knew why Cedric had dark past. What had occurred had broken them both and they never recovered. Sofia rushed out into the pouring rain between the two physically and emotionally spent men. "Enough! That's enough." She yelled. She turned Cedric and wrapped him in a hug. "I understand." She whispered before turning to her father. She wrapped her arms around the king and said "I know now. I know what Cedric did, and that you blame him; that's why you don't want me to marry him. You used to be best friends… and when she died, your friendship did as well…"

"Sofia… how…"

"I connected the dots." She frowned. "Dad, if I'm right about this…" she sighed glancing back toward Cedric as the rain fell harder. "You have no idea what it did to him… what that kind of magic does to someone's soul… and he did it because he loved you. It took a strong man to do what he did for you. And in the end you couldn't get past your grief and anger and you've been taking it out on him… all these years." Tears rolled down Roland's face.

"No one was supposed to know… did he tell you?"

"No, I figured it out. Just now. You know, I've always been good at piecing things together." She smiled softly. "Dad, you have to talk to them. They deserve to know. You owe Cedric that much. Please trust me. Go get cleaned up and tell them, I'll go with Cedric and hear his side… and tomorrow wall have a good talk, and well needed talk."

"Sofia… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, dad. It'll be okay." She said hugging him before walking him to her mother. "Let him get cleaned up and dry. He has something to tell you all." She told Miranda before turning back to Cedric. He stood there in the rain, completely drenched; blood ran from his mouth and nose down his neck and chest staining his white shirt crimson. His chest was still heaving.

"S - Sofia…"

She gave him a soft smile before taking his hand and leading him towards his tower.