Sedona, 2016
Caroline sits at the bar in the small diner, examining her perfectly manicured nails. She's a little sad she'll have to say good-bye to them soon. No matter how careful and experienced you are, your nails are bound to chip a little while shifting. One of the worse aspects of being a wolf. But no need sitting here pouting. She raises her head yet again and waves at the waiter who finally notices her. Thank god the morning rush has died down.
She smiles at the waiter who's now standing next to her, waiting until his pencil is readily poised above his pad and begins to order, "good morning. I'd like a burger, extra pickles with fries."
The waiter lifts one eyebrow, not hiding his surprise, "burger for breakfast?"
Caroline shrugs, "it's practically time for brunch anyway. And I need the extra calories for later." She tilts her head to the side, eyeing the waiter with a smirk, "you're a wolf, right? You know how it is." Not waiting for a response she blurts out wide-eyed, "oh, and a large coke. Not the diet ones. I want real sugar in it." She taps her index finger on the counter to emphasize the point.
The waiter laughs while jotting it down, "you are an upfront one. And really…lively. I'll blame it on the moon." He winks before extending a hand, "I'm Mason."
"Caroline." She returns the favor, "and the liveliness is all me."
She watches him retreating to the kitchen to put in the order, her mind already miles and years away from the here and now. She can't help but think back to all the times when someone said that she had so much life in her.
It's ridiculous really. One moment she's living her life, going through the motions like every normal people around her, and the next she's sucked into this alternative universe or something where there's only the two of them. Sometimes she feels like even time doesn't exist in that platform. They're stilled into eternity like one of his paintings, but no fire or water of this world can ever ruin what is there.
The sentiment-now that she blames on the moon.
"So…a lone wolf, huh?" A voice sounds from across the counter, "what brings you to our town?"
Caroline looks up to see Mason back with her coke. She eagerly takes it, going for a large sip before answering him with a contented smile, "well, the red rocks, the forest, and the weather."
Mason huffs, "the rocks and forest are pretty awesome indeed, but I don't know about the weather."
"At least it's warm here." Caroline rolls her eyes, "you try staying in northern Europe for a year. I mean, the scenery's amazing, but a girl's gotta stick to a healthy dose of sunshine and heat. And sundresses."
Mason nods while contemplating her up and down playfully, "yeah, the weather here obviously agrees with you," he gestures to her flowery attire, "and the sundress of course." After sharing a laugh he changes the topic, "I take it you are world traveling?"
"I was world traveling." Caroline lowers her eyes, playing absent-mindedly with the straw, an unreadable expression clouding her face, "I'm going home now." The last sentence rolls off her tongue like a magical spell, just the sound of it lighting the flames deep buried in her soul, filling her with warmth and draining her with longing at the same time.
"And where is home if I may ask?" Mason watches her curiously.
Caroline pushes a few strands of hair out of her face with a wry smile, "I'm not sure." She shakes her head a little, biting her lips for a few moments before continuing, "I haven't always been a lone wolf you know. I left my pack five years ago and I've been…out of touch since. I heard from some other wolf they were moving around quite a bit these days."
The day she heard that news she got completely drunk for the first time in five years. People often say that you are supposed to go wild and loosen up on these trips, getting inebriated on both the views and the liquor. But Caroline hasn't been so much as tipsy on her long tour. No complementing the sunset in Sydney with bottles of champagne, no doing shots with fellow travelers in the gloomy alleys of London, no vodka stream to ward off the coldness of Moscow. The world had so much to offer and she wasn't about to waste a second in meaningless alcohol.
Yet the day she heard that her pack was no longer in Mystic Falls where she was heading straight to, she drank herself shot and shot into oblivion. For the past five years she had tasted loneliness and nostalgia and a craving almost as strong as the pull of the full moon, but never had she felt so lost. For an instant the pain was so unbearable as if she was being stripped of her roots.
Her pack. And her…beta.
"I see." Mason now has a knowing smirk on his face, "childhood sweetheart? Soul mate? Love of your life?"
"How about all of the above?" Caroline laughs, not bothering to ask how Mason has guessed. She's been told millions of times she's practically an open book. "But you better not let him hear you say that. He'll be so embarrassed he'd probably pick a fight with you just to cover it up." She twirls a little smugly on her stool, "and I won't lie. He's a great fighter."
Mason doesn't seem to mind her bragging, carrying on their conversation good-naturedly, "he must have been pretty reluctant to let you go."
"Actually, he supported me without a doubt." Caroline looks outside the window, the shining waves of the Oak Creek River reflected in her eyes like sweet memories reviving, "he's always been able to see me for not only what I am, but what I could be."
Mystic Falls, 2006
Hearing the approaching footsteps a few feet away, Caroline tilted her head further into the soft grass she was lying on, hiding a smile that she just couldn't suppress. She called out without opening her eyes, "surprise, surprise. You found me."
The golden sunlight behind her eyelids was suddenly blocked away, an amused voice following, "that's because you are a person willing to be found." She felt him sitting down right beside her, their hands so close the tiny hairs on the back were touching tentatively, the tickling sensation making the corners of her lips turn up a little more. Or was it the grass?
"That's so not true." She protested half-heartedly, her eyes still closed, "I took extra care to disappear from the party quietly, without anyone noticing."
"Anyone but me."
Caroline laughed, this time opening her eyes to whack him on the thigh. He grimaced, mouthing the word "ouch" dramatically. She gave a little snort, but reached out to run a few soothing circles on the spot she just hit, "you don't count. Is there anything that you don't notice? I swear Klaus you are the most observant person I've ever seen, borderline paranoid. You are like…a hawk, or something."
"Is that so?" Klaus lifted his eyebrows, eyes squinted with a teasing little smile, "hey, what kind of earrings was Elena wearing when you left?"
"Oh the green lime stone ones her mother gave her last year. She was wearing the silver pair this morning, but from what I saw Matt accidentally spilled drink on her shoes so she had to change them, but then those earrings didn't go with the new shoes so…" she halted in her speech, noticing his pointed look and barely contained laughter, "oh ha-ha, very funny." She pushed him roughly to the side, "I'm a girl. I'm supposed to catch up on these things."
"No Caroline." Klaus straightened up, still laughing, "well yes, but not entirely." His eyes softened almost instantly, "admit it or not, you are always watching everything going on around you with sharp eyes. Just like me."
Caroline shrugged, "I'm a control freak. It's annoying, I know." She turned around to the other side, facing him with her back.
A hand reached over to pinch her slightly on the cheek. Caroline batted it away with a huff, but his next words surprised her mid-motion, "it's adorable." The cheek he just touched suddenly felt hot and flushed, so Caroline rolled back to press it into the cool grass. She cleared her throat before speaking, her eyes looking down, "how did you find me anyway?"
Klaus lay down next to her, arms folded under his head, "this is your favorite spot, isn't it?" He gave her a side peek, "an open clearing with enough sun, thick grass, no mud or dirt, close enough to the party to hear the faint music and cheering, but not close enough to actually run into anyone-unless they know where to look."
Caroline rolled her eyes, "show off." But a smile adorned her lips on its own accord. She didn't ask him how he knew all these things about her that no one else would have guessed in a million years, and he didn't ask why she sneaked out of her best friend Elena's birthday party-a party she planned no less.
Silence had never sit quite well with Caroline. She knew a lot of people enjoyed it-hell she knew a lot of people appreciated someone who enjoyed it, but she couldn't stand it no matter what. To Caroline it was like this incomprehensible monstrosity that constantly ate at her, a void that threatened to swallow her up whole with each passing second and she just had to fill it up with trivial chatter and frivolous converse. Really she'd feed her soul to it if needed.
But not with Klaus. In Klaus' presence, silence somehow felt not only tolerable, but even…comforting sometimes. Maybe it was because she knew that she would never be a nuisance whenever she decided to break it.
"Have you ever felt like you don't belong?" She looked up at him, noticing the dark shadows passing through his features, immediately embarrassed by her impropriety. He was abandoned at birth, shifting from pack to pack because of some selfish alphas who didn't care enough about the well-being of a child that wasn't their own. Of course he'd felt like an outcast. Why did she always have to go and say the wrongest wrong things? She squeezed his hand with a frown, stuttering, "I'm…I'm so sorry, Klaus, I didn't mean…"
To her utter surprise, Klaus squeezed back reassuringly, "I know." He smiled at her, retreating his hand to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, "and I'll take that as a rhetorical question."
"well, yeah, kinda…" she smiled back hesitantly, "it's just that, sometimes I'm in a big crowd and everyone's partying hard, drinking, dancing, laughing, talking to each other, and I suddenly feel that I don't fit in. Like, at all." Her voice was barely audible, "it's like I'm this odd piece in a puzzle, and it's a nice picture with or without me."
Klaus propped his head up with one hand, "you know that's not true, love." He watched her face closely as if trying to read something out of it, "you are the alpha of the pack. Without you this pack would fall apart and we'd all be lost for sure."
Unexpected rage pierced through Caroline's heart and she jumped into a sitting position, tossing her hands up with a frustrated growl, "that's just it! I'm the alpha. Everyone comes to me and stays close to me and maybe even looks up to me only because I'm the alpha." She bit her lip hard, plucking several leaves of grass in preoccupation, the fresh smell of plant bleeding into the air fueling her fury, "I seem popular and likable as the alpha, not as myself, as Caroline."
"Sweetheart you are overthinking things-" Klaus tried to reason with her only to be cut short by her shriek.
"Don't you dare patronize me!" She pointed a finger at him warningly, the broken grass in her palm flying out in the process, hitting him right in the face. Klaus stared at her wide-eyed and Caroline deflated almost instantly, wiping the stains on his cheekbone in a rush, "sorry…that was uncalled for." She sighed, "see? I can't even get mad properly."
Her hand hovered over his face in a moment of disorientation and Klaus caught it inside his, running his thumb across the knuckles comfortingly, "that's part of your charm, sweetheart." His eyes bore into hers, the look so intense she found herself sucked into the pools of blue without so much as a chance to breathe.
"You know how many incompetent alphas I've seen?" he continued in a low voice, "they were all arrogant, entitled. They didn't care what their pack members thought of them as a person, as long as they didn't undermine their authority and obeyed their every bidding. Don't take me wrong-they were good fighters, providers of the pack, but they were also cold and selfish. If ever the need arose they'd throw you to the wolves-or in our case, other deadly supernatural beings-without a blink."
He sat up, inching closer to her, still holding her hand, "but you are different, Caroline. You connect with your pack. You try your best to be there for them. Remember the first time April turned?"
Caroline nodded, a little confused. April was a year younger than her, but a few months ago when she was driving into town someone jumped out of nowhere in front of her car, and her curse was thus triggered. The poor girl was scared out of her mind, having to turn at such a young age.
"You didn't have to be there-Sheila was guiding her through it. But you never left her side, did you?" Klaus tilted his head towards her, his dimples coming out in a gentle smile.
Caroline swallowed, averting her eyes, "it wasn't like I was gonna get hurt or anything." It was in their instinct to not hurt one of their own after shifting.
Klaus snorted, "tell that to the heartless scums when I first turned." This time it was his turn to look away, not acknowledging Caroline's curious gaze, "the point is, you are fiercely loyal, and that makes you a fine wolf, and a worthy alpha." He looked back at her, his tone now heavy and serious, the ordeals he had been through in his young life seeping through, "no matter how much human-like we may seem, we are wolves. World's cruel, life's tough, there's no avoiding it."
"And people might not think of you when they want to share the latest gossip; they might forget to seek you out for a harmless heart-to-heart or sleep-over; they might lack the decency to keep you in their boring social loop," he huffed at those words, and yet his eyes holding hers were soft with so much care, like she was a precious jewel and he could keep any scratch or abrasion from her with merely his gaze, "but at the end of the day, when faced with threat or crisis, you'll always be the first on their mind, because they know they can count on you."
He sighed deeply, his eyes suddenly hard and his expression almost apologetic, although Caroline couldn't figure out why. "It's hardly fair, sweetheart," he caressed her cheekbone with a single finger, "but it's their fault, not yours."
"And what about you?" the question blurted out before she even noticed, "will you always think of me on a bad day?"
He chuckled slightly, his eyes a bright blue color, lighted with pure affection, "that's downplaying it a bit too much, love." He lowered his head, seeming abashed all of a sudden, peering at her through his lashes, "to me…any day spent with you is a gift. You make a dark day normal, a normal day shine, and a shiny day unforgettable."
Caroline blushed furiously, "you are so cheesy."
He snorted loudly, faking indignance, "I'll have you know that one was a hundred percent original."
She laughed at his childish antics before shaking her head, "even if you are right, and maybe I am a great problem-fixer, it still can't hide the fact that I'm…I'm shallow." She lowered her head once again to play with her intricate braid.
"Why would you think that?" He sounded so shocked and Caroline's anger-at him or at herself she couldn't decide-was back full force.
"You see this?" She waved the end of her braid at him. Her hair was neatly done in a complicated pattern, shiny blond curls woven into delicate tiny braids all around her forehead, framing her heart-shaped face before gathering at the side and knitted into another longer braid decorated with carefully-placed little white flowers.
"Yes," Klaus contemplated her hair with appreciation, "very elegant. Ancient Greek style I presume?"
Caroline nodded, taken aback, "yeah, I um…saw it from a blog and thought I'd try it out."
"I remember seeing a sculpture with similar hairstyle in Athens," Klaus smiled, "though I must say the object wasn't nearly as beautiful as you."
Caroline blushed before realizing they were off-topic, huffing in annoyance, "well it took me more than two hours to get it right, just because I wanted to look good and different at a party that wasn't even mine! Two whole hours on my hair! I mean, you can't get more superficial than that if you tried."
"And when did you get up this morning?" Klaus asked with an expression much too amused for her liking.
"Five. Why? I have to get to the party on time." She shrugged, not sure what that had to do with her point.
Klaus opened his arms, "exactly. You got up at five o'clock in the morning to make sure that you could properly arrange this party that you planned while looking amazingly nice. I don't see anything superficial about effort and hard work."
"Well when you put it like that…" Caroline pouted, trying to gather her tangling thoughts, "but I just want to be deep and mysterious for once, like Elena and Bonnie, you know? Reading, writing journals, talking about life and souls and universe, being spontaneous." She looked up at him almost miserably, "it's bad enough I'm a blonde. I have to go reinforcing the stereotype and only care about clothes and make-up and stupid chick flicks."
"Hey, I'm a blonde too." Klaus gently pulled her braid.
"But you are one of the deep ones." Caroline fixed him a weak glare, "have you seen the looks on the girls' faces when you talked about the Louvre? They were totally swooned."
Klaus stared her for a few seconds, a pondering look on his face before suddenly taking her hand and pulling her up to her feet, "come on, love. Let's go."
"Go where?" Caroline asked while already falling into steps after him.
Klaus looked back at her with an intriguing smile, "I've seen your favorite spot. Now let me show you mine."
Ten minutes later Caroline found herself sitting by a stream deep in the woods. She had never been to this part of the woods before-it was too dangerous for underage wolves like her who hadn't triggered the curse. It was quiet, far from where their pack resided, the only sound the water running into low-reaching branches of the shrubs and the occasional chirping from unknown birds.
"Look at the water." Klaus said quietly after letting the view sink in for a few minutes.
She tilted her head at him, "that's a little too Disney even for me."
"Not your reflection," he rolled his eyes, though a small smile was tugging at his lips, "look at the stream."
Caroline followed his words and refocused on the stream before her eyes. It really was just a tiny rivulet flowing through the massiveness of protruding roots, sheltering branches and fallen leaves. But from where they were sitting, the sunlight hit the surface of the water at just the right angle, turning it into a belt of liquid gold and diamonds, shinier than the sun itself. And suddenly the silence of the woods was overruled by this running verse of light, its every wave a laughter, every whirlpool a sigh.
"It's…breathtaking." Caroline whispered in awe.
"It is." Klaus replied in a similar tone, "It always amazes me how the stream catches every drop of sun and amplifies it tenfold. How such a small body of water can light up miles of dark woods in your eyes. How vivacious it is. How resilient." She felt his eyes on her when he uttered the next words, "it reminds me of you, Caroline."
Surprised, she turned to look at him, and his eyes lighted up further at the sight of hers, as if she was brighter than the shining stream just inches away from them. "Me?" the word tasted foreign on her tongue.
"Is it so hard to believe?" Klaus smirked, "you are strong, beautiful, full of light. People may call this shallow," he reached out a hand to touch the water, "but I know better." He looked back at her, his eyes half blue from his irises and half gold from the reflection, "every stream leads to the ocean, sweetheart."
Caroline stared at him speechless, his words resonating in her mind so strongly her vision wobbled a little. Her heart was hammering like crazy and for a few moments the only things she could recognize in sight was the golden lights dancing all around her and his intense gaze. Maybe that was why she missed the motion of his hand and the next second cold water hit her right in the face, breaking her out of the trance.
Caroline blinked through the droplets of water to see Klaus laughing with his hand still immersed in the stream, "never let those arbitrary concepts hinder your perspective, love. Shallow? Deep? In your face?" He gestured towards her, laughing harder, "beauty is beauty."
Wiping her face, she couldn't help laughing together with him. But as soon as her hands left her face they rushed to gather a handful of water and flipped it at him in retaliation, "I'll tell you all about beauty in your face." She pushed another wave of water at him, laughing loudly at his dripping blonde curls. Klaus grinned through the droplets devilishly before pushing her into the stream, but Caroline was quick to latch on to his arm and he slipped into the knee-deep water right after her.
Soon they were forgetting all about their conversation, devoted in their newly-discovered game of water fight and ten minutes or so later yielded the two of them sitting back on the bank, drenched from head to toe, laughing uncontrollably.
"Great, now my elegant hair is ruined." Caroline wiggled her brows at him, trying to undo her mess of a braid, but failing miserably from the soaking wet locks.
Klaus reached over quietly, his laughter finally dying down, "let me."
Caroline turned around without a word, suddenly nervous as a deer caught in spotlight. She felt his fingers in her hair, freeing strand after strand, his motions so gentle as not to hurt her. She tilted her head to the other side, intending to hide her blush from him, but he protested in a low voice, "stay still." His hot breath burned the back of her neck and Caroline felt so hot all of a sudden despite her wet clothes.
A drop of water slowly rolled down her neck into her dress and she could hear his abrupt intake of air. "There, it's done." He quickly backed away a few inches from her, and Caroline's head remained lowered, her hands came up to wring her hair quietly.
"So…you don't think I'm shallow?" She spoke up, desperate to find a new focus other than the sense of his fingers still in her hair or his breath still on her skin.
He huffed a laugh, probably on to her tactics, "and we are back at this. No, I don't think you are shallow. On the contrary, I consider you a constant delight, down to your need for endless conversation and poorly veiled deflection."
"So you don't think I talk too much?" She ignored the deflection part.
Klaus opened his mouth to say something, but closed it on second thought, his lips curling into an indulging smile, "no, Caroline. Surprisingly I enjoy your talking more than I would have thought."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Now Caroline was genuinely intrigued by his strange wording.
Klaus hesitated for a while, his brows knitted in deep contemplation, "for a long time, I thought all wolves shared the same trait of reticence. We rely on feels rather than thoughts, taking things in rather than expressing them out loud. It made sense, given our dire need for survival." He licked his lips as if embarrassed by what he was about to say, "when I was a child I was very fond of…art. I picked up pencils and paper whereas other children just picked fights with each other. I…I guess I was ashamed of it."
Caroline saw the dark shadows in his eyes so clearly she shuddered involuntarily. And yet she also saw how wound up Klaus was, his shoulders stiff and back rigid. She guessed there was more to the story, but she wasn't about to push him further, not today at least. So she went for a lighter route instead, "no kidding! You are an artist? What do you do, paintings? Sketches?"
Klaus smiled a little at her excitement, "a bit of everything. But I haven't been doing it for several years now." He pushed the wet locks out of her face, looking her deep in the eyes, "that's one of the reasons I enjoy you really. You are so expressive with your words, conveying everything in colors. It makes my hand itch to draw."
Caroline returned his smile, leaning slightly into his hand, "then start drawing." She didn't know which was hotter, her cheek or his palm, and she didn't care at that moment, "it's part of who you are. Don't let anyone deny it, not even yourself."
His eyes widened at her words, his eyelashes quivering imperceptibly under a sheen of moisture. Slowly he leaned towards her, closer and closer, and Caroline was afraid that he would hear her frantic heartbeats. In a long, agonizing yet sweet second she felt his lips brushing the crown of her head, and his silky voice in her hair, "maybe I will."
A drop of water fell from her hair tips to her pinky, shining in the sun like a silent promise.