The It Couple

Epilogue

(OR: AFTER THE SHOW IS THE AFTERPARTY...)

THREE MONTHS LATER

"...And it is our pleasure, no, no, no, our thrill…" Yura muttered as she furiously typed with her red-lacquered fingernails, "...to announce that Inuyasha Takahashi married Kagome Higurashi in a private Las Vegas ceremony sometime in early February of this year...Celeb-tattle's warmest...most heartfelt...congratulations to the newlyweds…"

She read it over quickly, smiling a most self-satisfied smile, and hit 'Post.'

"You did it, girl," she said to herself, spinning in her chair with a gleeful laugh, "You're back on top."

There was a beep notification. A comment already? Yura was delighted. She just knew this would likely be her most clicked-on post this year. The ad revenue would be through the roof!

She leaned in to read the comment on the screen.

"Sunrise Studios (guest account): 'Oh dear. Yura, Yura, Yura, when WILL you ever learn?'"

Yura's smile dropped from her face and her eyes widened in realization. She quickly scrambled to delete the post, folding her hands on the desk in front of her and sighing when it was done.

The phone rang. Yura grimaced and hesitantly reached out to answer.

"Yura. How's kicks?"

"Oh, Sango, dear, how are you?"

"Just wonderful. I love when people breach their contracts."

Yura turned as white as a sheet. "N-Now Sango, please, be reasonable, it was just a little gaffe, a hiccup, if you will - "

"Please. You couldn't help yourself. You signed that contract right in front of me. And it said that you are never to mention Kagome Higurashi's name in print or on air ever again."

"Sango, I deleted the post, I swear. No one saw it. No one." Yura's voice was beginning to crack.

"I think you'd better call that expensive lawyer of yours, Yura. You like publicity, right? Well, you're going to get it." Cackling laughter. And then...

Click.

FIVE YEARS LATER

Miroku pulled the car into park and climbed out. His hands shielded his face as he quickly lit a cigarette and took a single deep drag. He let himself sigh happily, blowing a plume of smoke straight up into the air, and then extinguished it just as quickly against a signpost and shoved the cigarette back into its lonely place in the box. His very last one. Possibly ever. He was going to make it last as long as possible, even though lighting it a second time would no doubt taste just terrible.

He paused to stash the near-empty box under the driver's seat, and then shut the car door and walked up the sidewalk.

A boy of about eighteen with dark brown hair and a smattering of youthful freckles across his cheeks looked up from his computer. There was a small, crescent-shaped scar in his hairline and a slight halt to his movements, but nothing too noticeable. Nothing to indicate what this kid had been through in his short life thus far.

"Hey," the kid said with a cheerful grin.

"Hey yourself," Miroku said, "How's it been so far this morning?"

Kohaku gave Miroku a dull look that so terrifyingly mirrored the one his elder sister had mastered long ago. "You'd know if you ever came in before ten in the morning," he said, the corners of his mouth pulling back into a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Miroku waved him off, taking off his leather jacket and shades and setting them on a table near the door. "Just so happens I had a breakfast meeting with Kouga and the people working on that next Scorsese film. Very promising. So don't you worry. I'm still making us the big bucks. We won't starve in the streets. At least not this quarter."

Kohaku scoffed and rolled his eyes as Miroku strolled past him toward the closed office dooor. "Just be quiet when you go in there," the kid said, "You know how she hates when you distract her when she's in her evil plotting mode."

The desk phone rang, and Kohaku picked it up, turning away from Miroku to say, "Houshi and Houshi Talent Agency, how can I help you?"

Miroku grumbled under his breath something about knowing how to handle his own wife, and entered the office to see her standing, facing the window, one hand on her hip and the other holding her phone to her ear.

"I just wanted to thank you in person for the wonderful opportunity, Mr. Warner," Sango said, hands folded in her lap demurely, head held high, "but I think it's time for me to explore another avenue."

Miroku, from his post just outside the office door, could practically hear the steam escaping the big man's ears. He resisted the urge to laugh like a mad scientist and instead returned his attention to eavesdropping in the most casual, cool way possible.

"You can't be serious," Warner said, "First I lose Inuyasha for a whole year of valuable screentime because he runs off to play husband, and now this?"

"I can recommend some very adequate replacements," Sango said. Miroku snorted.

"I took you out of nowhere and made you what you are," Warner roared, "and this is how you repay all my kindness? Well, that's all over now. You'll never work in this town again."

And here we go, thought Miroku. He loved listening to his woman work.

"I already have several clients lined up for when I start my own agency," Sango said brightly, "I look forward to working hand-in-hand with Sunrise in the future. Perhaps, who knows, we'll be due for even more Oscars next year."

"Who on earth could be stupid enough to jump ship and sign on with a completely unknown agency?" Warner spluttered.

Sango only got a few names out before he cut her off.

"That's - that's my entire roster of contract stars!"

"No, it isn't, silly," Sango said, "You can keep Kikyou. And Naraku. Put them in a superhero movie; I hear those are doing well sometimes."

Miroku doubled over in silent laughter. There had been quite the little kerfuffle after Kikyou's public humiliation at the Oscars, and a hasty tropical wedding to try and smooth things over with the public had ended four months later in a very public and awkward divorce. Kikyou was persona non grata around these parts, at least for the foreseeable future.

"I'll sue you," Warner hissed dangerously, "For corporate espionage. For theft of clients. You'll be finished, you little bitch."

Miroku frowned and casually kicked the door in. "Now, that's not very nice, Randy."

"YOU!"

"Me."

"Get out of here, both of you, before I have you arrested!"

Sango sent Miroku an exaggerated pout. He winked at her.

"But I wasn't finished," she almost whined, reaching into her purse and pulling out a stack of photos.

Warner stopped short, staring down onto his desktop. He was suddenly very gray in the face.

"Married the current wife with no prenup, huh, you sly dog, you?" Miroku said, "Honestly, I never would have thought you were such a romantic, Randy. That is, until you had me fired for just talking to the woman."

Warner stared at him in alarm.

"That's right," Miroku said, sighing dramatically, "Absolutely nothing physical ever happened between dear, sweet Lana and I. I'm sure she told you it did. Probably because she was jealous of all of your - " he gestured to the scattered stack of photos, " - indiscretions, but could never prove a thing in court. She wanted you paying more attention to her, Randy. That's all a wife really needs, right, attention?"

"And a good pair of shoes once in a while," Sango supplied with a grin. "Remember that once you and I are married, Houshi."

Miroku gave her a little bow and a wink, then returned to the business at hand. "But think if she saw these, Randy. California community property laws. That's your entire net of shares in this studio, isn't it?"

Warner sank into his chair. "Are these the only copies?" he said, his voice seemingly gone.

"Of course not, silly!" Sango said with a wink, "Think of them as insurance for us to get started on our own. And every time you get a little sad about me leaving, just think what Lana and the press will do with all these photos and you'll feel much better. Half of those women are famous, and the other half are married to someone famous, aren't they?"

They left the office, laughing like giddy teenagers, and of course they had a quick celebratory shag in the car before heading off into the sunset.

"...Nope," she was saying, "That's absolutely unacceptable. You know we're worth an extra zero on top of that number, given the box office numbers Ayame's been constantly drawing for the past several years. She's a star, and you're going to treat her like one, or we'll take her talents elsewhere...Yes, I understand she's very interested in the role, but she's also interested in not being taken advantage of, which is where I come in...Yes, I'm sure you do need a few moments to think it over. I'll need an answer by noon today or I'll have to go to Ayame with the bad news that 'Terminator: Blood Feud' will not be the next film she rockets to number one at the box office. Thanks, look forward to your call!" She hung up the phone, letting out a sigh that sounded very, very proud of herself.

Miroku grinned. "All these years of hearing you talk like that," he said, and she squeaked in surprise, "and it never, ever gets old."

Sango turned to look at him over her shoulder. "I learned from the best, didn't I?" She turned around.

How the hell does she look completely normal from behind, and then she turns around and you see she's eight months pregnant? With twins, no less? Miroku could do nothing but stare at her lovingly as she crossed the room and awkwardly leaned over her giant belly to kiss him hello.

"And how are you feeling this morning, Mrs. Houshi?"

"Gigantic," Sango grumbled, but she was smiling. "Just one more month, right?"

"One more month," Miroku agreed, placing a hand on her stomach and feeling as giddy as a schoolboy.

"How was your meeting? I assume you got there on time." The raised eyebrow told him Sango wasn't quite as certain of his punctuality as she let on.

"Of course I did," Miroku protested, "I swear, I oversleep one time and you never let me hear the end of it. And that one time was your fault, with your crazy midnight cravings for Korean barbecue and pickles."

Sango only laughed, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. She'd been wearing nothing but flats as of late. He wasn't used to being so much taller than she was. It was kind of adorable.

She sniffed. "Have you been smoking?" she asked suspiciously, raising her eyebrow again as she searched his face.

"No. Yes. Yes, but just one." He held up his hands, wincing. "I promise. It's the last one in the pack."

"Are you wearing your patch?"

Miroku sighed painfully. "Babe," he said, lifting up the front of his shirt, "I'm wearing two. Gimme a little credit here. I was a smoker for fifteen years, and I promise our babies will never even smell a cigarette as long as they live. Be patient with me."

Sango's expression went from irritation to a gentle smile, and she nodded with a small shrug.

"So the meeting went well?" she said softly.

"Yeah," he said, "I'd say pretty much a lock. We're gonna have a Scorsese film in our repertoire. The future is blindingly bright."

They high-fived.

Kohaku knocked on the office door and poked his head in. He looked a little pink in the face, a little flustered. "Someone to see you guys," he said.

He stepped back to reveal a petite teenage girl with long, flowing white-blonde hair, a black sundress, and a solemn expression.

"Oh, hey, Kanna," Miroku said, "How's college treating you?"

"My master's thesis is quite stimulating," Kanna said absently, her eyes focusing on Sango. "It concerns the study of occult religions and their spread in modern society. Very illuminating work. It keeps me occupied most of the time."

"Sounds...interesting," Sango said, shooting Miroku a brief look of amusement.

"Your belly is absolutely enormous," Kanna observed.

"Well spotted." Miroku leaned back against the desk and folded his arms. "Want something to drink? We've got coffee, tea, soda -"

"Black coffee is preferable," Kanna said sagely.

Through the open office door in front of them, Kohaku scrambled to his feet and rushed to the coffeepot to pour a mug, which he handed to Kanna somewhat clumsily. He looked a little flustered and speechless, poor boy.

Sango leaned against the desk next to Miroku, and he felt her nudge his elbow meaningfully.

"Thank you," Kanna said, meeting Kohaku's eyes with that thousand-yard stare, and holding the gaze in silence for a few seconds. Kohaku cleared his throat awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair.

"Why do your hands shake like that?" Kanna asked.

Kohaku turned fifty shades of red, and looked absolutely mortified and ashamed. "Uh," he mumbled, clasping his hands in front of him, "When I was younger, I was in a bad accident."

Kanna just nodded. "It's okay," she said, "When I was younger, I was dying. Well, I mean, I'm still dying. Just not as fast as I used to. I'm dying at the same speed you are now."

Miroku opened his mouth to interject, but Sango's hand on his stopped him. Her smile was reassuring. Give it a second, she seemed to say, You know that's just Kanna's way.

Kanna took in this information and nodded slightly, then stepped up to Kohaku just a bit closer. "You have interesting eyes," she said after a bit, "I like you."

Sango squeezed Miroku's hand almost triumphantly. He knew if she'd been at liberty she would have laughed out loud. "You know, Kanna," she said smoothly, "Kohaku's enrolling at UCLA this fall, the same place as you. I'd feel so much better if you were there to show him around sometime."

Kohaku shot Sango that look that only younger brothers can send their embarrassing older sisters. His face was fifty shades of red.

Kanna merely shrugged in agreement and tucked a lock of long pale hair behind her ear. "Will you be there at the party tonight?" she asked Kohaku.

"What party?" Miroku whispered to Sango, who elbowed him in the ribs with a roll of her eyes.

"The party at the Takahashi place, you idiot," she hissed, "You know, Kagome's surprise party?"

"Oh, right. That's today?"

He was answered with a gentle bop on the back of his head. "Spousal abuse," he pouted.

"I know a hotline you can call," Kanna volunteered.

"Thank you, Kanna." Miroku grinned.

Kohaku just looked at her, confused and intrigued and completely taken aback.

"We'll be landing in just a few minutes, Mrs. Takahashi. Can I get you anything else?"

Kagome looked up from her laptop, where even now, she was furiously scrolling through and editing photos. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she was blanketed in her favorite giant sweatshirt.

"No, thanks," she said brightly, shutting her computer and all but shoving it into her bag, then rushing to the private bathroom to change clothes. She'd only slept four of the last twenty-four hours, but when you were an in-demand music photographer producing a Judas Priest coffee table book full of round-the-world concert shots, your work was never done, right?

She let her hair down and slipped into some black denim shorts and a cutoff tee shirt. The combat boots could stay. They'd never let her down before.

"What time is it?" she called to the pilot, who looked over his shoulder from the tiny cockpit and smiled at her.

"Five o'clock," he said.

Kagome grinned, feeling the excitement brewing in her stomach.

Ahead of schedule. Perfect.

"Don't tell him, okay?" she said, tossing her plane clothes into her duffel bag, "I want to surprise him. I mean, I know, I know, technically he owns the plane...and the airstrip...but just...leave him in the dark unless he asks?"

Nazuna opened the door and gave her a silent hug. Kagome had coffee in one hand and her finger pressed to her lips with the other.

"Welcome home, Miss Kagome," Nazuna whispered, reaching out to help her with the bags, "We've all missed you. A week is just too long!"

"I know," Kagome said with a groan, "But don't worry. Just one more concert to shoot in Tokyo at the end of the month, and then the book is ready for final editing." She glanced back and forth in the living room, towards the east hallway, and then the west.

"Where?" she whispered, pointing in both directions.

Nazuna grinned and pointed west, toward the game room.

Kagome smiled and ran a hand through her hair as she tiptoed that way. Guess I shoulda known, huh?

She reached the entrance of the game room and just leaned on the open doorframe.

Waiting for someone to look up.

"Mama! Mama!"

And we have a winner. Kagome sprang forward and reached out her arms to grab her silver-haired, blue-eyed son under his arms, pulling him close and tearfully kissing him.

"Axel! Axel, my big big boy! Did you miss me?"

Axel immediately leaned back in her arms and laughed. "Mama home!" he said, raising two pudgy three-year-old fists in what could only be described as triumph. He was dressed most appropriately, in his favorite Iron Maiden tee shirt (Kagome had been so excited when during her first pregnancy she had realized just how small tee shirt sizes could get for heavy metal merchandise. So. Freaking. Excited.)

"Mama home," Kagome agreed, snuggling him close. Ugh, she thought, this kid is just the bomb, ain't he? I mean, sure, every parent thinks that, but hey. I'm allowed to be right about this one.

"Where's Daddy?" she asked Axel after a moment.

Axel looked over at the couch behind the billiard table. Behind it, from the floor, a hand raised up and waved.

"Right here," Inuyasha said, "but I can't move."

Kagome frowned, slung Axel onto her hip, and moved forward to investigate.

"Oh," she said, her face breaking into a giant, elated smile once more.

Inuyasha lay on his back, both arms folded behind his head. He wore his old favorite Clutch shirt, the one she'd bought him that very first trip to Amsterdam, and some comfortable jeans.

And on top of his (sculpted, gorgeous, godlike) chest…

A baby girl, about eleven months old, with wispy, curly black hair pulled into tiny pigtails and eyes as amber as her father's. At the sight of her mom, the baby squealed with delight and held her arms out, bobbing up and down on her dad's chest and making him wince slightly.

"Ow, kid," Inuyasha grumbled, sitting up and scooping her in his arms as he said to Kagome, "This one here will be the death of me, baby. I'm sure of it."

"We already knew that," Kagome said, practically sliding over the couch with Axel cradled in the crook of her elbow. "You always had a soft spot for the dark-haired girls."

Inuyasha reached out, placed a hand at the back of her neck, and pulled her in for a long, lingering kiss.

"Missed you," Inuyasha muttered, grinning, when they parted, "Missed you like crazy. Didn't we, guys?"

Axel nodded, and the baby girl in Inuyasha's arms began to fuss a little and reached for Kagome more fervently.

"Ready, switch!" Kagome laughed, and she and Inuyasha exchanged kids so she could snuggle her littlest one, closing her eyes and feeling that telltale grabbing of tiny, curious hands all over her hair.

Miroku had sort of gotten his way in the end, Kagome thought as the baby smiled up at her. Their firstborn had been a boy, but Inuyasha had absolutely put his foot down at naming him Miroku. It was going to make the kid a menace to society, he'd warned.

But Kagome had always remembered how much she owed to one of her oldest and dearest friends.

When their daughter was born about two years later, they'd named her Lita (in keeping with the hard rock tradition they'd started).

But from the start, and until it was too late for Inuyasha to catch on to the meaning and reverse the decision, Kagome had suggested they just call her Mimi. Her own bit of wifely cleverness, as she just loved to remind Inuyasha about from time to time.

The doorbell rang, and they could hear the sound of people filing into the living room.

Kagome frowned, pulling a lock of her hair out of Mimi's mouth. "Inuyasha, what the hell?"

Her husband, now with Axel somehow sitting on top of his head, grinned sheepishly. "Wasn't my idea," he said, "Seems no one around here can go more than a week without you."

"Kagome!" Sango half-walked, half-waddled to greet her.

Kagome laughed. "I swear, every time I see you it's harder and harder to hug you."

"Don't I know it," Sango said, "I'm so ready for these kids to get the hell out of me."

Inuyasha winced where Axel was pulling on his ear, trying for some godforsaken reason to climb even higher on his father's head.

"In the meantime, you two," Inuyasha said, making a face of mock exhaustion, "enjoy your full nights of sleep. Pretty soon they'll be gone forever."

Sango moaned and made a face, turning to glare at her husband. "Why did we do this again?" she asked, unable to keep a straight face and breaking out into giggles.

"Because you couldn't keep your hands off me," Miroku said sagely, sipping a water and clearly wishing it was a proper drink but playing the good boy game for his poor deprived wife. He put his glass down on the kitchen island and reached out for his somewhat-namesake.

"Here's my little legacy," he cooed at Mimi, who immediately smiled and started drooling all over him.

"And what the hell do you call this?" Sango snapped, gesturing wildly to her gigantic belly.

"Don't listen to her," Miroku said with a smirk as Mimi tried to stick her finger up his nose, "Your Auntie Sango doesn't understand what a special bond we have, does she?"

"I swear to you, Houshi," Sango growled, seemingly unable to completely break the last-name habit even after all this time, "When these kids are out of me, I'm coming after you."

"That a promise?" Miroku transferred Mimi to his hip and leaned in to kiss her.

The doorbell rang again. It was Kouga and Ayame, still happily unmarried and currently living in paradise, sharing a renovated castle on a European island and setting the film world aflame every few months respectively.

"Kagome," Ayame said sweetly, kissing her cheek, "We've missed seeing you!"

"I know," Kagome said, "Work's been crazy lately. But this fall, when Inuyasha starts filming in Scotland, we'll come visit you, I promise!"

"How's it feel?" Kouga asked Inuyasha slyly, clapping him on the back, "Your directorial debut?"

Inuyasha slid Axel onto his shoulders and gave a mystified sigh. "Ask me again when it's over and I've lost thirty pounds due to stress."

Kouga laughed. "Fair enough. If this one goes well though, that's another gold statue to stick on the mantlepiece."

Everyone's eyes trained upward to where the three Oscars sat, all in a row. Two for acting, one for producing. The sign of career longevity, as Miroku so mercenarily put it.

"If the kids don't break those three first," Inuyasha chuckled, Axel's hands now covering his eyes.

The doorbell rang once more. Kagome looked at Inuyasha, then around at the rest of the party. Who were they missing?

Oh, of course!

Kanna. She walked in, clad in one of her fabulous black lace dresses and sneakers, and without saying hello to anyone else in the room, she made a beeline for Axel, who laughed in delight and practically jumped off his dad's shoulders into her thin arms. Once the boy was wrapped around her neck, she approached the group, nodding in greeting at everyone in turn before gently laying her head on Kagome's shoulder. Kagome grinned and hugged her around the shoulders with one arm.

And who was this, following Kanna inside?

"Hi, Kohaku!" Sango looked like she was on the verge of bursting with laughter. The kid was covered in black lipstick kiss marks, his collar was crooked, and his face was a bright tomato red. He just waved at them weakly and stumbled off to the bathroom to clean up his face.

"I'm going to marry him," Kanna said matter-of-factly, unsmilingly, as she gently poked Axel in the belly to make him giggle. "Once he's finished with college, of course. I'll be a PhD by then, so we'll have a wonderful life together."

The entire group shook with laughter, and Kagome leaned back to snuggle into her husband's arms. Inuyasha laid his chin atop her head.

"So how was the surprise?" he whispered.

She grinned up at him and tweaked his nose playfully. "You're the one getting a surprise. But that's later, Jerkface." She winked.

THE END (THE REAL, ACTUAL, OH MY GOD THIS IS IT, AHHHHHGH, END)

I don't have words. Except to say that this chapter was pure, cheesy, ever-loving wish fulfillment, and I laughed and cried while writing it. I can tell you guys now that the scene where Kagome comes home from her amazeballs world-hopping job to a home where her son and daughter are waiting for her while playing with their dad...that was my exact, in-my-mind picture of how I wanted this fic to end from the very beginning. Like, from CHAPTER ONE.

Hey, we got to finally meet Kohaku! And he's adorable. Kohanna (?) is adorable. I like how she just steamrolls all over him. Because of course she does. It's Kanna.

Axel is, naturally, named for Axl Rose (though I spelled it differently on purpose cuz...c'mon, that baby name would be TOO Hollywood, even for this story) and Lita, aka Mimi, is named for the great Lita Ford.

Wellp, that about wraps it all up! Thank you to everyone who read this, to those of you who took the time to review, and ESPECIALLY to those special few of you that reviewed EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER. It really meant so much to me to see your words time after time. You guys became the feedback I always searched for, every single time. I love you all so very much.

ALSO, SHAMELESS PLUG - I HAVE A NEW STORY OUT. As of this posting, there are four chapters up so far! It's called "Oblivion," and it does indeed take place in feudal-era Japan. Much more dark and edgy than this one was, but with, shall we say, STEAMIER content in the works. Mwahahaha. Please, if you liked this story and you think you might like the new one, go check it out and drop me a line! I'd love to see what you guys think. OH, I should mention that it is VERY loosely based on Mulan, as well as a few other plot elements. It's suspenseful and is looking to be a nice slow-burn romance.

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, FOR THE FINAL TIME. Now I gotta go shed a tear and take a few deep breaths.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,

meggz0rz