3.0 (Leonite)
When some people awaken and find that they aren't as they were when they went to sleep, they usually freak out. More so if it seemed that things had changed back to a point in the past. Even amongst the Primarchs almost all of them would find the situation disconcerting. Odd at the least and horrifying at worst. For someone like Magnus the Red, Primarch of the Thousand Sons and more specifically Chosen Primarch of Tzeentch it was almost standard to him by this point.
'Oh, another memory visit.' Magnus thought to himself. 'And of all things he's picked one of the thankfully few days I had to tolerate the presence of that savage Russ. Strange though... even when Tzeentch puts me into one of these usually, I can still feel all the power he gave me. I haven't felt this weak in millenia. I don't even feel the warp so strongly here.'
"My lord, are you alright?"
It should not have surprised him. After all Ahriman, the figure speaking to him, was in a great many memories and as such appeared in many of these visits... but it was different. Usually the memories played out differently in small places. A veiled insult barely held in place. Body language that betrayed disgust. A mocking tone unmistakable. And yet... there was none of that. Ahriman's voice... it was as it had been all those years ago. He looked around carefully... but could easily name the others with him. Phosis T'kar, Captain of the Second Fellowship. Whenever he was shown in these strange psuedo-memories he usually was shown twisting and warping into a being akin to a Chaos Spawn, constantly shifting as a reminder of the flesh change that had only been escaped through the accursed Rubric. Hathor Maat, Captain of the Third Fellowship and expert healer, looking morelike a hero... and always portrayed in a mocking light as if to show what foolishness such thoughts were with him either being forced into some arcane art or another, or into the arms of Slaanesh from his own pride. When any of these three were around, the memory-dream turned into a nightmare. And yet here they were with no such change. Despite himself Magnus allowed himself a small smile on his face... even if he is lacking in power, even if Ahriman in the modern day had cursed his legion this seemed to be one of the few happy moments he was being allowed.
"I am fine Ahriman, but your concern is noted." Magnus said. The three captains looked at him momentarily, concerned... but seeing his smile seemed to think better of voicing it. And as he stepped forward, Magnus started to realize something else. A detail he had forgotten before. This was one of the few meetings that he had... but it hadn't been until near Nikea when Ahriman had been there to see the meeting of the two. His mind at ease that perhaps it was the usual manipulation Magnus strode towards the end of the hallway and emerged... at a most baffling sight. Even in the warped memories a meeting with Russ always seemed to be that of barbarism and barely contained savagery... but on this occasion it seemed almost as if the VI Legion were akin to mirrors of his own Thousand Sons. Russ himself was clad in ceremonial armor, just as Magnus had done... but he seemed to be reading briefly from a tome and while he retained the wolf pelt his hair seemed as if it had gotten in a battle with a brush to try and tame it. To say that it hadn't worked fully was an understatement. On either side of Russ were those two Fenrisian Canines (who were not wolves, he had to remind himself) who seemed to have been... attempted to be cleaned and made presentable. Behind them stood two rather brutish looking marines clad in armor, but even then Magnus easily identified one of them to be one of Russ's own Psykers, a Rune Priest, and the other seemed to be a veteran of battles given his posture... but clad to one of his pauldrons was a scroll. It even allowed Magnus to see the symbol of the VI Legion had changed... from a simple wolf to that of a wolf symbol on a book.
As for the area around them, it was a lavish hall with a table set out for the group to sit at, complete with a small amount of food and drink on offer... and yet, it seemed less akin to the savagery required on Fenris and more... well, dare he think it, like the styling of Fenris if it had been redesigned by Fulgrim. By the looks of his captains it seemed that he wasn't the only one shocked by their appearence... although if his memories served him correctly this was before Russ had named his Legion... although at the same time he remembered they had the name at this point.
"Ah, Magnus, my brother!" Russ suddenly said as he slowly closed the book. "You have quite the timing. I was just finishing quite an interesting chapter." Despite himself Magnus peeked over at just what the cover of the tome read and had to resist the shock that came when he saw that it was a book on philosophy. "Come, we have much to discuss about the upcoming campaign and possibly other things... what you see here has been the result of my legion and I undertaking an experiment, to see if we can become stronger by learning from how our fellow legions seem to act."
It was at that point that Magnus finally allowed his brain to catch up... and simply nodded. No point in asking Tzeentch just what this scenario was... but he had to privately admit it was more creative than usual.
3.1 (Gamerex27)
The Emperor Woke Up, and instantly knew something was wrong. The first clue was that he couldn't feel any trace of the Warp. No daemons, no Chaos Gods, no psykers...and no power of his own to use.
The second clue was that he had nowhere near the strength he has in most repetitions of the Loops. Rather than a muscular, gigantic titan, he was a scrawny waif of a man, with barely enough muscle mass to lift a weapon of any kind.
The third thing he noticed was that he was unable to open the "Pocket" his son had taught him how to use after the so-called "Brighthammer" Loop. So he was unable to us any weapons at all. At least he wasn't trapped on the Golden Throne.
Looking around, he was sitting in a poorly-lit room. A poster decorated with robots playing musical instruments hung from the wall, declaring "CELEBRATE" in the ancient lost language of English, as well as other crude drawings of said robots on the wall. To his left and right were panels that read "DOOR" and "LIGHT" to the side of a pair of steel doors.
A piercing sound disrupted his thoughts. He looked to the source of the noise: a device he dimly remembered as a "phone" from the early second millenium. After fumbling with for a moment, he held the correct end to his ear.
"Hello?" Leman's voice said. "Is this on? Can you hear me, father?"
Yes, the Emperor said. Where are you?
"If you can hear this, this is a recording," he said, making the Emperor sigh in disappointment. "It looks like I am currently employed by this...restaurant? I am unsure what this place is supposed to be. Anyways, I was told that you would be replacing me after this week was done, before I Awoke. I will not dance around the issue: the robots you are meant to look after are homicidal, and will likely try to kill you if given the chance. Of course, I know you can handle something like that..."
Well, he could, but it would be much easier if he was stronger this Loop, or could just pull out his armor or sword from his Pocket.
"...and if they escape the restaurant, they will likely kill anyone they could find," Leman said. "I've tried to destroy them, before you ask, but...they were just there again when I came the next night. I think they may be cursed: if we don't want these things to kill thousands of human lives, we have to contain them here until we can find a way to stop them.
"They will roam the hallways until the clock strike six. I believe after that, you should have time to investigate and disable-"
The clang of metal against metal sounded in the background. "That would be Khorne, I think. Starting to wish I'd found a better weapon yesterday..."
But, if Khone was one of these robots...
The God-Emperor of Mankind pulled up the tablet, examining it. Khorne's armored head was peeking out from behind curtains and a castle labeld "Knight's Nightclub." On the stage at the front of the restaurant were a fat, mangy-looking rabbit with Nurgle's face, a seductively-dressed chicken with Slaanesh's skin tone on her feathers, and Tzeentch, in the form of a blue bird, holding a microphone on stage.
Tzeentch Toucan's Family Pizzeria, the Emperor muttered to himself, from his Loop memories. Looking back, he could see that both Nurgle and Slaanesh had left the stage.
Hearing the sound of footsteps near the left door, the Emperor slammed down on the close door button, without even looking away from the tablet, and was rewarded with the satisfying sound of Khorne running smack dab into the thick steel door and falling on his mechanical rear.
As he closed the other door and heard Slaanesh's electronic cry of frustration, the Emperor internally debated that, if he should come here after hours to find these creatures' weakness, perhaps he should take photographs of the Chaos Gods interacting with small children, to humiliate them at a further date.
3.0
Russ smiled as he offered a silent toast towards Magnus. He couldn't help but grin at this at the moment. He couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the non-looping Magnus, but seeing him react so dumbfounded was priceless, and it was a nice way of looking at things from Magnus's point of view. Besides, while he loved his feasts, now and again you like to try something new, something different. Leman slowly drank from the ornate, wolf and pegasus patterned goblet...
"I'm not sure what you're up to spawn of Tzeentch, but I must admit either you are trying to amuse me... or you've mistaken that savage Leman Russ for Fulgrim, before the sword."
And promptly coughed it all out in utter shock. "M-Magnus... can I speak to you privately?" Leman swiftly requested as he indicated towards the nearby, closed off hallway. Magnus seemed to simply raise an eyebrow as he followed, even as Leman prepared for the inevitable headache.
"I must admit, that's the most creative story I've heard from one of my phantasmal memories in a while." Magnus admitted, rather amused. "Time is broken and stuck on repeat? Do you truthfully expect me to actually believe that?" After all, it wasn't like it was out of Tzeentch's power to do so.
The thing imitating Leman just glared at Magnus, who grinned. It always felt good to outsmart one of Tzeentch's other servants, lets him delude himself for at least a moment or two that he might be able to outscheme Tzeentch one day and prove just how powerful he is. "It would be so much easier to convince you if father was awake this loop. Or even Tzeentch, let that oversized warp turkey tell you himself." Russ grumbled. "'Oh don't worry Leman, Magnus can't possibly have gone and deluded himself normally into visits to the past.' Except you DO and I've never seen it happen!" At this point Magnus was interested. He had seen Leman mad before. filled with battle rage or bigotry. But never frustrated. "Because every damnable time the heresy happens, we're always opposites of some sort, either I'm the loyalist and you're the traitor, the other way around, our legions end up as loyalist legions and you or I end up dying, or we end up serving polar opposite Chaos Gods and by the great elms I thought I had gotten the memory of Magnus of Slaanesh out of my head!"
Really if Magnus hadn't put up a psychic sound muffle as Leman had just gotten into his rant, they might've been in trouble, even as he blinked... and laughed. "Oh please, and what, did you also have Khorne make dogging collars for those not-wolves you call brothers?" He mocked.
"You leave Freki and Geri out of this!" Leman snapped. As he did, the sound seemed to echo down the hall as Magnus blinked... the force in that voice. The tone. The posture. As much as Tzeentch would like to think, his daemons bar one were not that good at impersonating the Primarchs, and the Changeling has better things to do than mess with him. With a blink Magnus briefly reached out with his psychic sense... and chuckled.
"Only you would remember their names Russ. But I do appreciate the books." Magnus admitted. "That, and there's no way anyone can pretend to act like you do when you get angry... alright, I'll hear you out. So, you were talking about a tree?"
And they continued to talk. Magnus continued to listen... and when they stepped back into the hall, he knew. It wasn't a lie... the Warp was too different in the first place., Leman's presence was too much like his used to be... but waxing stronger than ever. Of course, that hadn't been enough to convince him fully.
And as a result it was up to Leman to explain to the gathered group why Magnus was paralyzed with laughter and seemed to mention the words "Pony, pegasus, Little Mother" every so often.
3.2 (Saphroneth)
The Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind felt that ineffable shift that marked the transition from one loop to another.
He began to take stock.
I'm not sitting down.
That was a good sign. It meant he wasn't in the Throne, which was an improvement over a lot of loop starts.
After that, though, it became harder to interpret everything.
First, there was the view. He was standing in a large, ornate cathedral-like structure, though there were no walls and on all sides a distant seascape could be seen. Broken and not-so-broken pillars stretched away on both sides of him, and there was a staircase leading down.
Secondly, there was the fact he was standing on all fours. He felt very peculiar in general, actually.
Thirdly, there were neat rows of tablets arrayed before him. Each one had a short sentence fragment, talking about the creation of the local universe.
Some of the words were new to him.
Wondering whether it might shed some light on the situation, he formed a mirror from sheer willpower – forcing the air molecules to change their nature, so they became reflective.
He appeared to be some kind of white llama, with black markings around his green-red eyes and down his chest. Gold lines led down his fetlocks to his hooves, and a golden ring girdled his waist, pulsing visibly with power even as he watched.
No clues there, then.
Dismissing the mirror, he returned to the slabs of stone, and frowned. What, exactly, is a Pokémon?
The memories of this loop took that moment to arrive.
The Immortal God-Emperor of Pokékind sighed. "Arceus," he said, in resigned tones.
"Wait a minute," Byron said, looking closer at the young trainer challenging his gym. "I know you! You're Ciaphas Cyan, hero of Sinnoh!"
Ciaphas nodded. "That's me," he said, with a shrug. "Nothing that special, really..."
"Well, since it's you, I'll have to go all out!" Byron insisted.
'Cyan' successfully contained the urge to swear. "Fine," he said instead. "Who are you using first?"
By way of reply, Byron threw a Pokéball. "Bastiodon!"
Ciaphas frowned, thinking.
Most of what had laughably become termed 'his' team was at a disadvantage, here, because of that Rock-type. Of course, most of them could still tear the Steel-type gym leader a new one...
He made his decision. "Magnus, go!"
The Braixen who formed gave Ciaphas a disdainful glance. Retrieving the small twig from his tail, he rolled his eyes and hit Bastiodon with enough sorcerous force to send it into the wall with a loud clang.
"I get the point," Ciaphas said in tones of resignation. "But it's this or we can't move any poxy rocks out of the way."
Magnus made it clear he had opinions on that, by batting Byron's Aggron into a wall with sheer psionic force and then coming close to incinerating the Excadrill on the backswing of the wand.
3.3 (Leviticus Wilkes and myself)
Leah Clearwater blinked as the world snapped into focus, a new loop beginning again. The werewolf squeezed her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, and opened them again. Nope, the beings in the room weren't vanishing. This was looking like the beginning of a weird loop.
Leman Rush scratched his head in confusion. "I don't get it? Are all of Fenrir's Anchor's here?"
Balto, the only actual wolf in the room, barked a laugh. "Seems like it. Name's Balto."
Han looked at her son this loop and sighed. "I wonder why he did this, mister?"
"Stiles Stilinski ma'am," the other human said, shaking his head. "And I've got no idea." Leaning down, he scratched Balto's head.
Leah glanced around. "Well... We're here. Fenrir is not. Master of space and time, can't even show up on the clock."
"I am here, but my dear father decided to throw me a prank my way." A voice grumbled, causing them to look down at a pouting wolf pup. "Do not laugh or else."
The assembled stared at the cub. For many minutes, no one spoke.
'Must... resist... feminine URGES!'
"KAWAII!" Leah squealed and grabbed Fenrir, cuddling him for all of five seconds. And then, Leah was at the other side of the room, nonchalantly examining her nails and acting like nothing had happened. "If anyone mentions that... ever... I will find you."
Fenrir simply huffed, rolling his eyes. "I expect my father, brothers and sister are already recording this to either blackmail me or give their loopers some laughter."
Moving around the small room, the wolf cub began to climb up onto the table with little success. That ended when Stilinski picked him up and placed him on the the table. "Thank you," sighing, the Admin rolled his eyes. "Now you must be wondering why you are all here, correct?"
"No, we're planning to go fight crime, but an explanation of why we're here would be good." Leah answered.
Leman rolled his eyes. "Oy with this..."
"Yes, because it is a good idea to annoy the one who could make you sisters with Bella." Fenrir glared at only werewolf. "Now let me explain something to you all; as you know, I am your Admin and I felt it was time you five got to know one another as sooner or later Yggdrasil is going to throw into each other's branch for its own amusement. This way, you can try and avoid some idiocy when waking up as her over there." He tilted his head towards the one who snuggled him before.
Leman smirked. "Now why would we want to avoid idiocy in Twilight?" In the background, the distinct noise of a revving chain sword could be heard.
Fenrir turned a parental glare at Leman. "No, you can't slaughter the Quiluents or the Cullen's. Jasper, at least, will take exception."
"Besides," Balto said, "How would your mother take it that you threatened to kill non loopers?"
Leman gulped before glaring at the wolf. "You wouldn't dare."
"We all would dare." Han said, looking at her loop son. "Now put that away or I will compose a list for Fluttershy to see."
Leman looked at the grinning loopers before sighing. "Fiiiiiiine."
"Good, now does anyone have any questions?" Fenrir looked at his loopers, wondering if the stake he coded in the fridge was still there.
Leman raised a hand. "Yah, I've got one: why do I loop in as a kid so often?"
Fenrir shrugged his shoulders. "Best I can figure is that it amuses Yggdrasil."
Han coughed into her hand. "When are my children going to start looping?"
Fenrir winched. "I don't know, to be honest. Right now, your branch is more or less stable while Leman and Leah's are more chaotic and need a lot more attention. Whenever I try to get two of Leman's brothers code fixed, it tends to result in a Chaos God Emperor variant loop."
Leman paled at that name in an instant. Clenching the table and breathing shallow, he glared at Fenrir. "Listen to me, right now; if you try that again without giving me anywarning, I will crash several loops on purpose!" Picking up their Admin, he shouted in the cub's face. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" he roared, shaking the wolf pup in his hand.
Han placed a hand on his shoulder. "Stop, he's just trying to get you your family back."
Leman looked at her for a long time before sighing. Dropping the wolf pup onto the table, he walked over to the sofa. "I- I... I'm sorry. I just... of the horrors and bloodshed I have to deal with, seeing it done deliberately and being made to be spread it across all life is just too much."
Balto nuzzled the space marine gently. Leah, tactfully, remained silent. Fenrir hung his head in silent shame.
Stiles Stilinski looked at Han and nodded.
"Look, Leman, I won't pretend to understand the hell you have to deal with," he walked over to space marine and squatted to stare him in the eyes. "I know of your world, and I cannot begin to fathom a version of it that unnerves you." He smiled, a sad one, but still a smile. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he continued, "But we're now, together. We've got some time before this loop ends, right Fenrir?"
The pup nodded his head, ears still folded backwards in shame. "So let us enjoy this first week or so and then we can deal with the heavy stuff, ok?"
Leman smirked, nodding his head. Rubbing Balto's head, Leman took Stiles out stretched hand and pulled himself up. "Thanks, Stiles." pulling himself upright, he walked over to the fridge. "Anyone else hungry?" He asked, pulling several stakes with Fenrir protesting as they didn't share with their yipping Admin.
3.2
"Why are all of you Fire-types?" Cyan asked, some time later. "I mean, individually they make sense, but..."
Magnus sat down, toying with the twig-wand he had as a Braixen, and affected extreme disinterest.
"Oh, stop it," the Growlithe said with a sigh. "Magnus, you know as well as I do that Ciaphas didn't cause this loop."
Canid shot a look at canine.
"It's not going to be that easy to convince him, Leman," Vulkan said, toying with his firey tail-tip. "It was quite a shock for me to suddenly wake up inside a small metal sphere... though I've looked at them, and I can think of a few ways to improve them."
He looked discontent. "And please explain again how to use this mouth to speak Gothic."
Amberley chuckled, as Leman and Magnus started arguing about something minor. "Always on top of the situation, aren't you, Ciaphas?"
Cyan shrugged, brushing off the comment from the Vulpix. "Since when have I ever been on top of any situation whatsoever?"
His Houndour starter gave a confused bark.
"Don't worry," Amberley reassured him. "You don't need to understand, Jurgen. It'll all work out fine."
Satisfied with that, Jurgen lay down next to Cyan's side.
Ciaphas wasn't sure how to take Jurgen's presence, really. After all, he was used to the presence of his sidekick and lieutenant... but having him as a dog was rather less usual.
He still hadn't Awoken, either. Amberley thought it might be because he was a Blank, and that he might never Awaken at all. But that was just her guess.
"Right," he said, standing up. "We should probably keep going. I think the next gym is Ice-type, so that's another easy one."
"Might I attempt it?" Vulkan asked.
Cyan frowned. "I still can't understand you, you know..."
Vulkan muttered something unprintable, and resolved to get back to work on that translator.
"Hey!" Magnus said, suddenly. "Give that back!"
Ciaphas looked up, and watched as Leman ran past with Magnus' fire-twig. Magnus followed, summoning increasingly large eruptions of flame and firing them at Leman's laughing form.
Not that it did anything in particular. Leman was, after all, a Growlithe – and, as such, possessed Flash Fire.
"Why are the Primarchs such children sometimes?" Ciaphas asked. "I mean-"
Amberley smiled in a subtle way. "I've got a few ideas."
3.4 (Angelform)
Vultara smiled grimly as she watched the Fire Nation ships battered at the newly constructed harbor walls, unaware of the trap closing in on them.
It had been a strange loop. Vulkan had awoken as a young girl in the south pole and quickly discovered she was 'the last southern waterbender'. Study of the local legends, and a cursory knowledge of narrative causality, suggested that 'the Avatar' should be along to fix the world shortly. (Most likely with a setting-inappropriate wolf theme.)
But no such person had turned up and so Vultara had headed north in search of training, reasoning and technology. (Never again would he underestimate what could be done with two by four planks and sufficient ingenuity.) She hadn't gotten further than Kyoshi Island before a Fire Nation admiral had tried to kidnap her. It didn't go well for him.
Having accidently dragged them into the war she stayed to help organize the local defenses. She figured they would need the help given their military seemed to consist entirely of women armed with nothing but fans and decorative dresses.
The waterbender ceased her musing as she judged the time was right. With a thrust of an arm a wave rippled across the water. The ships didn't notice. The divers did.
Hundreds of green clad warriors burst from the ocean. Mechanical grapnels reached for the deck. In moments the Kyoshi warriors were amongst the sailors. Blood began to spill.
After the battle was won the Primarch would catch himself thinking 'There may be something to this 'warrior woman' concept'.
3.5 (Evilhumour, Scorntex and elmagnifico)
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, page 414:
Upon encountering a blue box in space, you are to follow the orders of the person inside. Under no circumstances are you to fire on the person or the blue box unless the occupant taps its fingers four times.
If the occupant appears to be angered, run. Just run.
Addendum: If for any reason the occupant smiles at you, fear is an appropriate and utterly justified response. Attempt to make sure your inevitable demise brings glory to the Imperium.
Addendum, The Second: He has a rogue trader license by decree of Lord Russ. Yes, you are supposed to obey him. No, that does not mean you should not be scared.
Addendum, The Third: Upon contact, you are to immediately alert Lord Vulkan with the code phrase, "The Doctor is here, are you Awake?". If he responds in the affirmative, you are to give him the coordinates to the location.
3.2
"Right, take this!" Leman said, bunching. "Extremespeed!"
He pounced at speed, hitting the obese Purugly with a stunning blow, and finally knocked her out.
"Good work," Cyan said, with a nod. The Primarch – currently an Arcanine – looked faintly smug, then he and his brothers advanced onto Spear Pillar itself.
Amberley muttered something about how commissarial he looked.
"That's not a word," he muttered back to the Ninetales, walking behind the trio of Primarchs. Fortunately, he'd managed to find a two-for-one deal on fire stones, so Amberley and Leman hadn't had to have an argument over who got the first one.
"Ah, I see you've arrived!" the boss of Team Galactic said. "But you're too late. The red chains are complete, and I can summon Arceus himself!"
Leman blinked. "That's not normal..."
Magnus glanced over at him.
"Elaborate, please," Vulkan said, shielding them absently against the cold winds with an expansive orange wing. "Why is it not normal?"
"Well, normally he summons Giratina here," Leman elaborated. "I've been here a few times, see..."
Cyrus interrupted them. "Come to me!"
Portals began to open.
"The god of fire and destruction, Khorne!"
Every single Looper from the Imperium stared, blinked, and started laughing.
"Can't believe I didn't realize it," Leman chuckled. "The God of Victory! Of course!"
Shut your mouths or I will destroy you, the tiny Victini insisted.
"The god of earth and decay, Nurgle!" Cyrus went on.
That is not fair! Khorne said, in a tone which was definitely not whining. How come he gets to be something that awesome?
The gaunt Yvetal settled to the ground. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you," he said, with a broad grin. "My ears must be stuffed up. Or you forgot I'm a Dark type."
"That's considerably less funny," Cyan commented, absently.
"The god of air and magic, Tzeentch!"
"Shut up," Tzeentch said preemptively. "Or you will wish you were dead. And then I will refuse to grant it."
There was a muffled sound, as Magnus stuffed his furred arm into his mouth to avoid laughing at the sight of Tzeentch as Jirachi.
"And the god of water and happiness, Slaanesh!"
Everyone stared. Even the other Chaos Gods stared.
"...that's a Ditto," Ciaphas said eventually.
"Well spotted, Ciaphas," Slaanesh said, mounding up into a vaguely humanoid shape. "But I can be a legendary if you want. I can be anything if you want."
"What about a long way away from him?" Amberley asked, stepping forwards. "Can you do that?"
"Only if I can catch the bouquet," Slaanesh told her. "And the garter, too..."
Ciaphas coughed discreetly. "We are different species, this loop."
"Like that's ever stopped me."
"Uh... guys?" Vulkan said, pointing. "I think he's about to complete the summoning..."
Jurgen stepped faithfully forwards to interpose himself between Cyan and the portal as it formed.
Then, the God Pokemon stepped through.
Magnus blinked. "I recognize that... DAD!?"
Oh, hello. Excellent timing, the Emperor said, sounding somewhat distracted. Do you have any idea how to speak with this mouth? It's been bothering me all loop...
He noticed Cyrus, frowned momentarily, and a very localized meteorite strike obliterated the Galactic boss.
"...that was anticlimatic," Ciaphas said, blinking.
I'm not in the mood, the Emperor said shortly. Now, as I was saying...
3.6 (Evilhumour)
I am going to kill hir. The Emperor thought to himself as he sat on the Golden Throne. Slaanseh had managed to break into Terra and kidnapped him, and stole him away to deep within the Warp, pinging that shi was Awake.
"-ive you up, nev-" The Noise Marines had been playing that song continuously since Slaanesh kidnapped him.
Painfully and slowly.
3.7 (Scorntex)
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, page 113:
Any Imperial Marine unit suggesting "Wreck'n'Rule!" as their battlecry is a fast track to glory and esteem.
Editor's Note: We are obligated to inform you, the reader, that as of the last censure, the survival rating for this unit stands at 42%.
3.8 (Gamerex27)
FORGET THE POWER OF BEEKEEPING AND BREEDING, FOR SO MUCH HAS BEE-N FORGOTTEN, NEVER TO BEE RE-LEARNED.
FORGET THE PROMISE OF POLLINATION AND CONDIMENTS, FOR IN THE GRIM DARK FUTURE THERE IS ONLY THE SWARM.
THERE IS NO PEACE AMONGST THE STARS, ONLY AN ETERNITY OF ALLERGIES AND STINGING, AND THE LAUGHTER OF THIRSTING BEES.
Father and son stared at one another. On one hand, the God-Emperor of Mankind had not been confined to the Golden Throne after his battle with the Beetrayer, Horus.
On the other hand, his dying curse had left the Emperor forever surrounded by angry bees, constantly being stung, day and night.
"...why?!" Leman finally asked. "This has to be the most ridiculous Loop I have ever seen!"
And yet, this is still preferable than being trapped on the Golden Throne for ten thousand years, the Emperor said. Of course, he had to say this via telepathy, as his tongue had long since swollen to a useless size, as had most of his body.
"My lord?"
Both men turned to see a Custodes, clad in the rarest of battlegear: functioning beekeeper armor. "We have received a message from the foul hordes of Entropbee." He slid the note across the floor, not wanting to risk the integrity of the impossibly-rare armor by approaching the Emperor's eternal Hive. "Perhaps they have decided to surrender after we discovered the sacred relics of RAID on Luna?"
The room was silent for a few moments, as the Emperor just glared at the guardsman.
"Oh...OH! Forgive me, my lord, I forgot about your allergies!" the Custodes said, whimpering. " Your swollen hands...Please, please forgive me!"
Leman?
Picking up the scroll, Leman carefully unwrapped it to see a letter from one of the Chaos Gods-Nurgle, judging by the disgusting mold and bacteria cultures making up the text.
"No," Nurgle said in the letter, "this wasn't my idea, though I do wish I had thought of it. A deadly bee plague! Bees! My self."
Tossing the letter away with a sigh, Leman facepalmed. "Somehow, this is still better than the squirrels-don't ask" he quickly added, as the Emperor raised a swollen eyebrow in question.
3.2
"Come on," Magnus said, with a sigh.
"What?" Cyan asked, feeling a bit defensive. "I'm not all that bothered with the League thing. At least that got it over with quickly – fifteen minutes, counting walking time."
"Well, yeah," the Arcanine Anchor admitted. "But that's not the point!"
"I think what my brothers are trying to say," Vulkan sighed, "is that they feel left out. They didn't get a chance for a fight, in other words."
"So?" Ciaphas asked. "Like I say, I'm not bothered with-"
"But we are!" Magnus and Leman chorused. They then shot suspicious looks at one another.
"Oh, stop it!" Amberley said, shaking her muzzle. "Ciaphas has a point, you know that. He's just not the kind of person who likes fighting."
"Could have fooled me, given how much he does of it," Leman muttered.
"That's all accidental!" Cyan protested. "Really!"
"I've read your looping memoirs, Ciaphas," Leman countered. "You fit more heroism into shorter periods of time than I do."
Ciaphas laughed. "I'm sure," he said, with clear sarcasm.
"No, really," Leman said. "Your life is a continual cavalcade of heroic situations, and you always rise to the occasion – willingly or not. I'm as much general as frontline warrior... oh, and you're a human. I'm normally a Primarch, and that carries over. I'm less in danger than you are in the same situation... and you charge ahead as often as I do, even if you say it's just so you're not seen retreating."
Magnus raised his twig. "We may have gotten off topic. I demand we challenge the league again."
He made a gesture. "And you don't use him."
Ciaphas' sixth Fire-type looked annoyed. What? he asked. Why can't I be used?
"You just soloed the League in fifteen minutes, Khorne!" Leman burst out. "Give the rest of us a chance!"
Khorne was unconvinced.
Please explain your goals.
N and Ghetsis exchanged a glance.
N spoke up. "Team Plasma seeks a world free from the abuse of Pokémon. As there is no other way of achieving this, we seek to separate humans from their Pokémon so that Pokémon can live in peace."
Interesting.
N brightened. "So... you'll help?"
No, not that. The divine llama frowned. Just that your second in command here – who appears to be your father – instead wants to make sure no-one else has Pokémon. He wants to use that discrepancy to take over the world.
Ghetsis blanched.
"Father?" N asked, looking over at the Sage. "Is this true?"
I assure you, it is, the Emperor said. I'm a psyker, I can read minds.
"I... N," Ghetsis began. "You're not going to trust this-"
"Father, I can see the goodness in the hearts of Pokémon!" N said. "Pokémon have never lied to me before!"
The Emperor frowned, as N reached for the lone Pokéball at his waist. This seems worryingly familiar, somehow...
"Reshiram!" N called, sending out the Legendary Dragon. "Stop my father!"
Yes, definitely familiar, the Immortal God-Emperor of Pokékind decided. Right, moving on...
He vanished in a flash of light.
Several thousand miles away, in Hoenn, the God Pokémon materialized in another meeting room. Right. Now, what's your plan?
"You're going to like this," Archie said to the Ultimate One. "It involves a meteorite, a volcano, lots of rain, and a remake of Waterworld."
"Mine's much better!" Maxie interrupted. "It involves lots of volcanoes, lots of rocket fuel, and the evaporation of all water on the planet!"
The two Leaders started arguing.
Ignoring them, the Emperor exerted a small facet of his enormous power. Tzeentch?
Tzeentch materialized, and tried to be as dignified as a Jirachi could be. It was not an especially high bar. "What?"
My formal apologies. Your cultists are not crazy. That is crazy.
3.9 (Evilhumour)
Skuld's eye twitched as she went over the terminal for the Dark Millennium branch and shot a murderous glare at the gulping wolf as she leaned away from it.
"You were hacked into." She snapped, causing Fenrir to step backwards, body pressed against the wall. "By one of those hackers. Do you what they were doing?"
"N-no-" He stuttered.
"They decided, when you were not paying any attention, to let the Chaos Gods loop!" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "Those four entities could have been instant MLEs if your damn Anchor hadn't done very well in stabilizing his world that loop!" She towered over him now, with Fenrir folding inwards from her fiery glare. "THANKFULLY, when they Woke up for the first time, causing all that massive murder chaos bullshit was too damn BORING FOR THEM TO DO IT AGAIN!" She yelled, grabbing his ear. "Do not screw up again or will find yourself being Zeus's assistant until you DAMN WELL LEARN NOT TO LET OTHERS HACK INTO YOUR BRANCHES AND FAIL TO NOTICE IT!" She roared, storming out of the office leaving Fenrir curled up against the wall, trembling in fear.
3.10 (Delta Green)
The Inner Sanctum of the Imperial Palace was silent, as usual. Ever vigilant Custodes guarded the premises and the Carrion-Lord of the Imperium was left to his Eternal duty, alone.
At least until a flash of silver light heralded the arrival of someone. Serenity, also known as Sailor Cosmos, one of the original Seven Loopers, had decided to grace the Imperial Palace with her presence. She had actually welcomed the opportunity of Looping into a 40k Loop, as she had long wanted to speak again to the Emperor after his declaration to the Seven and what had followed.
For a moment, silence reigned as Serenity seemed to consider her words.
Serenity. I must say I'm disappointed, I imagined you'd be here sooner.
"... Why?", she asked.
Her countenance was stern, like a teacher demanding an explanation for misbehaviour. Faced with the slight smugness of the Emperor's welcome, it was almost expected.
Isn't it obvious? Out of the Seven, I'd expect you to understand the best why.
"I understand it was a bluff, but I don't understand why you did it. You're old enough to..."
Yes. I am old enough, though a mere child compared to you now. Old enough to have forgotten the face of my parents. Old enough to no longer have any ties to the mortal masses... Just as most Loopers. But where most Loopers return to the start of their lives and to their first family, I do not have such luxury. But it matters little to me, as all Mankind is my family.
Serenity opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the majestic psychic voice.
Don't, please. You made your points back then. Let this old man monologue for a time and forgive me if I forget some of your objections. Where was I?
Out of the Seven Loopers, you alone still weep for the lives lost in each loop. The others no longer bother with such ties, but you still do. You forge your mortal un-Awake families, love them with all your heart and still lose them.
I did the same. For so long, I did exactly as you did. I loved each of my families as dearly as you do. Often, through the centuries, I would return to each of their grave sites to remember them. You did not have that luxury, but I know you still visited places of importance to each of your families even in different loops.
"...How did you...?"
Serenity was honestly puzzled. Much like the other Seven and the rest of the older Loopers, their minds were sacrosanct and inviolate to anything but Admins or the most brutal psychic assaults. She recalled no such thing from her last meeting with the Emperor and her shields were still inviolate right now.
I still have a few tricks you have not seen before, Serenity. Not enough to permanently harm any of the Seven, but enough to see into your souls. I am the Master of Mankind, after all, and you are all still of the Race of Men.
"...You guessed." she stated with an annoyed frown. There was the feeling of smirk from the Emperor.
Perhaps or perhaps not. Theatrics have a power of their own and I would be a fool to squander it.
As I was saying, we are much alike in our attachment to the mortals and un-Awake. The difference is in the scale of our attachment. You weep for many indeed, but most of your tears are for those you love and cherish. I am somewhat different. For all Mankind is my blood. All Mankind is my cherished kin.
Even now, each tear I weep is in memory of each Hero that Mankind will never remember. Most of them, I have already wept for thousands, if not millions of times. Still, I weep for each of them.
What few even suspect is that I also weep for the Lost and the Damned. For those who turn away from Mankind. For those who never knew any better.
Knowing this, do you understand?
"All of them?", Serenity asked in disbelief.
All of them.
"But the Great Crusade... the Purges... Everything... How could you if you love them so?!"
And now there was outrage in her voice. She, who was compassion incarnate, couldn't reconcile loving anyone so and still making them suffer. To her, the Emperor's words were utterly in contradiction of his actions.
Because I saw no other way then. Though it tormented me endlessly, I did what I thought necessary to save as many as I could.
"And that bluff... all of it..."
Was the first alternative I found. I had to try. Even failure was less torturous than inaction in the face of maybe saving them all.
"And now? You being on the Throne, the state of the Imperium, the constant wars? Why allow them to continue if you could stop them? You are letting them die!"
My penance and my preparation. To atone and to be ready. To suffer for my sins by rubbing the wounds raw with salt and vinegar and to learn each possible variable that can occur before the Final Loop comes.
"But there's no need for it! If you've learnt, you don't need to suffer anymore!" she said, radiating frustration and anger at the Emperor's seeming idiocy.
Serenity. Did you ever lose a child of yours?
"I showed you I did." she replied with slight impatience.
Serenity. Did you ever kill a child of yours with your own hands?
And then, understanding flashed on Serenity's face, alongside horror.
"... No. I never did, even in the worst loops. I always found a way."
And now, whereas patience and calm dominated the air, weariness and chagrin flooded the room as the Emperor continued.
On my first Loop, all of my Sons rebelled. Only Leman remained loyal and he died soon after the beginning of the Heresy, after only alluding to the existence of the Loops. He assumes that it ended there for both of us. That it was merely a warning, much like his "Chaos God Emperor" Loop. I never told him any different.
But the Loop continued for me. I was forced to slay all of them. I ripped Sanguinius' Wings from their pinions and impaled Angron with his Spear, lost as they were to Khorne. I felt Dorn and Guilliman's minds when they decided to betray me during a war meeting and I was forced to strangle them with my bare hands. I saw Vulcan weep bitter tears as he sacrificed civilians lives in an attempt to kill me, just before I tore out his eyes with my Power Claw. I witnessed Jaghatai, lost to Slaanesh, pillaging and raping alongside Fulgrim before I destroyed their minds. I saw Ferrus covered in unhealed wounds as he struggled to feel anything in his Nurgle infested carcass before I burnt him and Mortarion to ashes with my Warp Fire. I duelled Magnus, Corax and Lion to the death atop a corrupted Prospero being dragged into the Warp by Tzeentch at the culmination of their plot to kill me. I found Konrad and cut his head off as he smiled in vindication. I burned Lorgar from orbit on one of his crown worlds dedicated to Chaos. I sneaked through Perturabo's toughest defences and murdered him. I tracked down Alpharius and Omegon and personally slew every single Alpha Legionnaire on the planet to ensure they were dead.
And, at last, I faced Horus again on the Vengeful Spirit. Again I lay dying after destroying his soul. But this time, there was no one to drag me to the Throne. This time, there was no one to protect Mankind after the Heresy. In that insane war which lasted for a century, I had been forced to kill more than 3/4 of Mankind as a whole. What remained, I presume, did not survive long my passing.
In my first Loop, I died an even worst failure than in my first existence, Serenity.
I do not know why my First Loop went so badly. Perhaps I acted too fast in condemning the Lost Primarchs? Perhaps I was too brusque with all of my Sons? Perhaps the Administrators wanted to humble me before I grew more powerful than I already was? It matters little. Instead of humility, I found resolve in the trial.
That is why I bluffed, Serenity. To force the Administrators to give me the better way I could not find.
That is why I could not rest or enjoy reunion with my Sons. How could I when I killed them all dozens of times? What Father kills his own Children? What Emperor leads his people to such ignominious defeat? What Guardian cannot stop such things from repeating, no matter how many times he goes through these events?
There is no penance, no suffering, no torture or punishment that I do not deserve. In truth, part of the reason I waited for the Seven to be gathered to make my Bluff was so that you would hate and torment me. I accepted their scorn and disdain as rightfully due.
Even then, I succeeded. The Brighthammer loops are affecting Chaos more than Leman's gradual efforts. Sooner or later, the Long War will be won and Mankind will no longer need such a flawed and useless Guardian as myself. The Administrators have given me what I wanted. When the Final Loop arrives, I will set everything right and vanish. I will no longer be needed and my Sons will be free of myself and their destiny.
Serenity's face was a mixture of understanding, frustration and anguish.
"It doesn't have to be like that. You can be the Father they need and you can all be happy."
She felt a warm presence settle on her shoulders, calming her and trying to relieve her of her chagrin. Part of her almost laughed at the ridicule of someone much younger acting fatherly towards her, another part welcomed it.
But do I deserve to be their Father? I don't believe I do. But I will play along for as long as it lasts. Better my Sons have memories of a Father trying to do right by them than the haunted and bloodstained monster I am.
I envy you, Serenity. Of all the Seven, with their incommensurable power and age, you alone I envy. For you are what I should have been for my Universe.
There is the why, Serenity. You alone could understand it. I pray it doesn't weight on your soul like it does mine.
3.0 Another Primarch is Awake and eager to meet the Little Mother
3.1 Five Nights at Tzeentch's!
3.2 CIAPHAS CYAN, HERO OF SINNOH!
3.3 Fenrir gets his Anchors together for an important talk.
3.4 Misogyny is something loopers grow out of quickly if they know what's good for them.
3.5 If you come across the blue box, just knock four times.
3.6 The second time Slaanesh did this was with Surfin' Bird.
3.7 Never tell me the odds
3.8 Don't ask about Primarch Doreen Green, just don't. It's kinda of a sore spot for everyone.
3.9 Fenrir...doesn't have a lot of luck.
3.10 In the loops, even the most unusual of friendships can form.