Pippi sat, rubbed his pink chin thoughtfully, and turned to look at Twilight.
"I've been thinking," Pippi said in a monotone voice. "At first, a handshake doesn't seem like much, but really, it's the thought that counts."
Sliver Spoon slithered up to the bench. She was holding a large heart-shaped box. "Hey, Pippi! I just wanted to thank you for this lovely box of chocolates!"
Twilight smiled at the eel. "No problem, Spoon!"
Pippi frowned, and then continued to speak: "I mean, even though I was expecting more—"
Rainbow Dash with an armful of roses strolled up and waved to Twilight. "Thanks for the roses, Twilight! Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!"
Twilight sunk down on the bench. "Uh, you too, Dash! Glad you liked them."
Pippi tightened his jaw muscles, and went on, "And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long—"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders rode up on a bicycle and stopped next to the bench. She leaned over and said, "Hey, Twilight! Thanks for the bike!"
Twilight pulled his head down into the collar of his white dress shirt like a Turtle disappearing into his shell.
Babs Seed elbowed Pippi and said, "Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning!"
As she pedaled away, Pippi continued: "So, as I was saying—"
"Excuse me," Diamond Tiara said. "Do you guys have the time?"
Pippi whirled on the interloper and grabbed him by the shoulders! Hefting the unlucky guppy over his head, the furious girl hurled him into the midst of the Happy Valentine's Ring Toss game.
"Yoooaaggghah!" Pippi cried. "PIPPI NEEDS LOVE TOO!"
Pippi beat his chest like a gorilla and ran down the boardwalk into the midst of the carnival, crying in anger and disappointment.
"Oh, no! This is all my fault!" Twilight cried, chasing after his friend. "I've got to try and stop him!"
"AAROOOOOO!" Pippi bellowed. "Where's MY love? Where's the love for Pippi?"
No one was safe! Not the ticket taker, not the soda-pop girl, not even the poor slob wearing the giant red valentine costume and entertaining the kiddies!
"It's an art to have a heart!" Silver Spoon sang. "Won't you be mine here in the brine?"
"Yay!" Crusaders replied, wiggling their fins. "We love you, Silver Spoon!"
"Arrrgh! I defy you, heart man!" Pippi screamed, bounding up and scattering the children like scaly bowling pins.
"Run! It's a monster!" the kids cried, fleeing for safety.
Pippi ripped the bright pink suit off the poor entertainer's shoulders, leaving a confused actor standing in his underwear!
A siren began to wail. Over the carnival loudspeaker system, an announcer warned, "Attention, everyone! There's a evil girl on the loose!"
The panic was on! Everyone ran for the exits! No one wanted to cross an angry girl!
Especially one that had undergone such a terrible transformation: Pippi's color had changed from pink to purple and his eyes were bloodshot. Pumped up with anger and disappointment, he was now ten times as strong as the average girl!
He was also ten times as angry.
"Unhappy Valentine's Day, everyone!" Pippi yelled as he ran toward the Swing for Two ride. There were dozens of pairs of swings attached to a tall red-and-white striped pole, and perched on the top was a giant, blinking red heart!
"Heart on stick must die!" Pippi snarled. He wrapped his arms around the base of the pole and strained with all his might to pull it up from the ground!
"GWARRR!" Pippi yelled as he struggled to wreck the swing ride.
"No, Pippi! Don't do it!" Twilight cried from a safe distance. "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"
Pippi growled, grunted, and pulled as hard as he could, but the mammoth pole wouldn't budge. At last he fell on his butt and put his head in his hands.
"Rooo!" he moaned sadly. "Rooooo!"
Tommy and Annika approached Pippi to see if he was okay. She was carrying a red heart-shaped lollipop.
Pippi looked up, spied the lollipop, and once again cried out, "Heart on stick must die!"
Snatching the candy away from the children, the girl bit the heart-shaped candy off at the tip, chomping and drooling with delight!
Twilight stamped his foot. Taking candy from kids was a definite no-no!
"Pippi!" he scolded. "How could you?"
The girl spun around, his eyes bulging in their sockets and his mouth smeared with red sticky candy. "Mwalughmuhgum!" Patrick snarled. All friendliness was gone, leaving nothing behind but a mad monster!
"Yikes!" Twilight squeaked, fleeing to hide in the midst of the gathering crowd. He was hoping for safety in numbers.
Pippi stood, his arms outstretched, and began to stomp toward the onlookers.
One step forward by pippi.
One step back by the crowd.
Twilight kept his head down, hoping Pippi wouldn't see him.
Pippi picked up the pace and moved closer, his beady eyes seeking out his purple human target.
As one, the crowd shuffled away, trying to maintain their distance from the frustrated girl. But there was nowhere left for them to go. Pippi had backed them to the end of the dock!
"GRAAAAAH!" the angry girl yelled. "Give me TWILIGHT!"
The crowd promptly tossed Twilight out on his nose.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Twilight laughed nervously as he looked up at Pippi. "How's it going?"
"You broke my heart!" Pippi said, waving a fist. "OK Now, I'm gonna break something of yours!"
Twilight got up to his feet and stuck his hands deep in his pockets. "Okay. Pippi." he said sadly. "I know I deserve this!"
"That's right!" Pippi cried. "You deserve it all, 4 Mr. Greatest Bestest Most Fantabulous Valentine's Day Present Ever!'"
Twilight gestured to the crowd gathered behind him. "I might deserve it. but do they?" Everyone smiled nervously. A few waved their wallets. One lady winked and blew a kiss.
Pippi wasn't buying it. He stomped his foot and bellowed, ''They didn't get me anything EITHER!"
A torrent of chocolates, valentines, and presents landed at Twilight's feet.
"Nope!" Pippi said stomping through the pile of gifts. "It's too late for that now! For all of you!"
But then, as the angry girl advanced on the helpless crowd, a new sound rang out across the carnival! A humming noise, like that of a hundred sets of teeth all chattering at once, echoed over the boardwalk!
"Yee-hah! Git along, little girl!" Applejack cried, riding atop a repaired, but still intact, heart-shaped chocolate balloon with pink marshmallow starfish on the sides!
With one hand, she cracked a whip. In the other, she held the reins for the now-tamed scallops who were pulling her along!
"Yay! Woo-hoo! Applejack's here!" Twilight called. "Heart and Hooves Day is saved!"
"Gallop, you scallops!" Applejack called, expertly maneuvering the balloon. Dropping the reins, she freed the scallops, and the chocolate valentine landed without a sound behind Pippi.
Twilight was so excited, he could hardly speak. "Look Pippi! It's here! It's here!" he called. "The best valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you!"
"Su-u-r-r-r-re it is."
"Really!" Twilight replied, pointing at the balloon. "See?!"
Pippi crossed his arms and gave Twilight a sarcastic grin. "You must think I'm pretty dumb, huh?"
"YES!" the crowd replied in unison.
"Well, I'm not!" Pippi sneered. "I know this is just another trick!"
"But I'm telling you the present is right there!" Twilight urged. "Turn around!"
"Nuh-uh!"
Twilight stepped closer to Pippi and tried to move him, but the hefty girl would not budge. "Come on, Pippi!" he begged.
"Just turn around!"
"Yeah! Turn around!" someone in the crowd called.
"Nothing doing!" Pippi replied.
"Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around!" the crowd chanted.
Pippi was firm. "No, I won't! No, I won't!" he chanted back.
"Turn around! Turn around!"
"You can't make me!"
"Turn! Turn! Turn!"
Pippi hiked up his Bermuda shorts and frowned. "I'm only gonna say this once, and I'm not gonna say it again, so pay attention!" he said. "I am not, I repeat, NOT, going to turn around for any reason . . . EVE"
"Howdy, Pippi!" Applejack called from the top of the balloon.
Pippi turned around with a big smile and waved.
"Hi, Applejack!" he replied, before his mouth fell open and hit the wood of the dock with a ka-clunk.
There, before his fevered eyes, was the biggest, most coolest, chocolatey valentine ever! Just like SpongeBob had promised!
"Duh-muh-ba-duh-guh—," Pippi babbled in shock.
Twilight slapped him on the back. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Pippi!"
"Yay! Yay! Mine! Valentine!" Pippi called as he ran over and embraced the chocolate balloon.
"Awwwwww!" the crowd said, relieved.
Scrambling to get his arms around the balloon, Pippi pressed his face into the chocolate. The valentine smelled delicious! Patrick just had to take one bite!
"Hey, Twilight! Is this solid chocolate?" the girl called, before sinking his teeth into the present.
"Pippi, NO!" Twilight cried, but his warning came too late.
The balloon burst with a loud "POP!" covering the entire carnival in a gooey candy mess! Sticky pieces of chocolate valentine and hunks of pink marshmallow were everywhere.
After a moment, Pippi lifted his head. His face was smeared with candy.
Twilight's feet appeared nearby, followed by the rest of his body as he wiggled out from under the burst balloon. His head and clothes were coated in chocolate.
Up to their necks in goo, Pippi and Twilight looked at each other.
Pippi grinned. "Awwwww, gee, Twilight," he said. "You really didn't have to get me anything!"
THE END