Disclaimer: I clearly own both Harry Potter and FMA and published both works under pseudonyms. Then I write Fanfiction about my own stuff. The people you think made it are paid actors.

Fullmetal Horcrux Chapter 3: Hat Trick

Hogwarts loomed over a large lake, not actually all that impressive compared to the Armstrong Estate. Damn wizards couldn't even build a decent building out of nothing. Hell, Muscles could punch things into sculptures. Were they saying even without EE that they were stuck with a ratty castle? It may have gone with the theme of wizard, but it was hideous.

Ed shoveled his books into his trunk, a method of transporting objects he found strange. He felt like a pirate going off to bury some treasure. Automail lifting the load handily, he set it on his shoulder and moved quickly to get off the train. A guy that looked like a hairy Sig was herding all the first years.

"Awright then! Getchor stoff an stowit in da boats!" he boomed. Ed could see several of the smaller students rattle in the voice. Placing his items in a boat, he quickly and discreetly trimmed his trunk with glittering jewels and ostentatious ornaments so he could find it more easily. Sure he wasn't supposed to transmute gold, but those rules were for Amestris, this was Scotland. Kicking off his boat he hopped into a boat, with several pitiful looking wizardlings.

"Hello there, my name's Parvati, what's yours?" The more gregarious of the group spoke. At first glance she seemed Ishvalan, but she had dark hair and eyes. Also it was improbable an Ishvalan had found their way to using magic.

"Ed." He responded.

"Great! That's a nice name, nice to meet you! This is my sister Padma and she studies a lot! This is my friend Lavender! She's a good friend and fun to talk to!" A frown slowly grew on his face. Why were her words so inane?

"Hi." Padma said timidly, before Parvati started up again.

"Can you believe that we're all going to learn magic? It's going to be so exciting! I can't wait! Do you know what house you are going to be in…" If I use human transmutation, I can either remove her mouth or die in the process. Really I don't think I have anything to lose…

"Make way, make way peons, for the GREAT, for the MAGNIFICENT Harry Potter!" Hermione watched Corey with interest. He was such a charlatan, but Harry did seem to be having a good time. That poor boy, being manipulated for his fame would not likely lead to a very realistic worldview. Well then again, she had just learned about magic, so maybe reality wasn't all that realistic in the first place.

She watched as the first years pressed towards Harry's boat. The 'Grand Vizier' motioned for her to get in the boat with Harry, as he kept the children away. All of this attention would absolutely suffocate her! Hermione felt pity for poor Harry. There was a splash, as Corey bodily ejected a fan into the lake. So maybe Harry wouldn't be totally suffocated.

"So what's next then, Grand Vizier?"

"Well according to Hogwarts tradition, we will go to the main hall and be sorted into our houses."

"Hmm, what's the best house? I need to be in the best house, so that everyone knows that I am the best."

"Unfortunately, Potter-Baka, students do not get to choose their own house. It will be assigned to us by a magic hat."

"A magic hat? That hat belonged to Godric Gryffindor, one of the greatest wizards of all time!" Hermione couldn't believe the irreverence to the sorting hat it was…

"So it's super magical? Okay, I want it then." Harry blithely stated. Hermione just gaped. Corey grinned at her as if he had somehow demonstrated something, when all he had done was make her dislike him even more. Poor Harry.

Energy crackled in the air. For a thousand years and then some, Pharan'non'igur had time to become content with judging the futures of children in the magical institution known as Hogwarts. Not that anybody knew that was its name. After all, who would bother asking him its name? It was a hat now.

Still its senses from aeons ago let it pick up the feel of other magics. It could feel the presence of Alchemy, Spiritual Pressure and others in addition to the regular magic normally to be found at Hogwarts. It would surely be an interesting year, so it began the Sorting.

The hands that placed it upon their head did so unceremoniously.

Ah, Edward Elric. So you are the one here who uses alchemy.

Holy crap! You talk! I thought it, or well you, were just a randomly assigning students to houses! You can think! It was slightly amused that the boy was so surprised. Rather cynical, Hufflepuff was most definitely not the place for him. Of course Edward's next statement was even more surprising. How are you bound to this hat? Why are you bound to the hat? Shit, I hope I'm not scratching your seal.

Calm down. Alchemy uses a different manner to bind souls than magic. This Elric was young, yet he had been through much.

So is there any way to get you out of there? I'm sure I could whip something up… It was unsure how to respond. This was perhaps the one individual who could pull off releasing the binding without catastrophic damage. This was perhaps the one chance it had to be released. This would perhaps be the one way to fulfill his oath to Godric.

My brother used to be bound to a suit of armor, but it began to deteriorate. You probably want to get out of there quickly. Then again, you've lasted a thousand years or so according to the books. There's got to be something protecting your seal.

The Aevum Binding. Rodan. That would be enough. The boy was smart.

Wait, what?

"RAVENCLAW!"

The hands that placed it upon their head did so reverently.

Hmm, Hermione Granger…I am thinking Ravenclaw for you.

So long as Harry is there. I need to save him from Corey's influence!

Then again that statement sounds like a Gryffindor. Or even Hufflepuff. Still I cannot say where Harry Potter will go before judging him. The girl was thinking frantically. It seemed as though she was very distractedby the deal with Potter and Niodus, though its perception of it was quite colored through her own thoughts. Truthfully, Ravenclaw would likely be better for her health but Godric wanted the students to be able to have some influence over their lives.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The hands that placed it upon their head did so elegantly.

Good evening, Sir Malfoy.

Good evening, Sorting Hat.

I must say, you are every bit the gentleman your father was.

I do strive to be. Now I do not believe my sorting will be all to difficult on your part.

Of course not. You belong to the regal house of….

"SLYTHERIN!"

The hands that placed it upon their head did so deftly, like a stage magician.

Oh my. It felt a mental grin from its wearer.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"YOU!" Corey exclaimed, going pale and blustering like an old man. That should set his plans back.

The hands that placed it upon their head did so greedily.

So, it is Harry Potter's turn now is it?

Yeah, that's me! The famous HP! Are you powerful? Do I get to keep you? It was a good thing that it had sorted Hermione into Gryffindor, it could at least make a case for that Potter belonged in Gryffindor. Hopefully the girl could steer him right and Niodus would keep his distance. Hahaha.

Elric had better get it out of this blasted hat, pronto.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

At the Gryffindor table there was a great deal of cheering as Harry Potter approached. He bowed to either side, as though he had just finished some grand performance.

"Thank you! Thank you, Grippingdoor!" Shooing people, he herded them away from the spot where he was going to sit. Hermione joined at his side.

"You know Harry maybe you should, umm, do something to be, uh, more famous?" Maybe by getting him to do something to do something actually praiseworthy he would learn and develop as a person. Or at least people would have a reason to praise him. It was going to take a while to cure potter of his fame.

At the Ravenclaw table, there was some cheering from some of the more enthusiastic students. For the most part, many were not paying attention and reading. At least these wizards looked somewhat tolerable to Ed. He strode across to the oldest looking students with their heads in books and made a hole for himself.

"So what do you guys know about the Aevum Binding?"

"Who are you, kid?"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT PEOPLE THINK THE REASON I DON'T READ A NEWSPAPER IS BECAUSE IT'S BIGGER THAN ME AND WHEN I HOLD IT I SHRINK COMPARED TO ITS SIZE?" Ed grabbed the larger student by the robes. "I ASKED YOU A QUESTION."

"Okay, calm down. But I've never heard of anything called The Aevum Binding. Sounds rather obscure, you'll probably need to do some reading. Then again you're Ravenclaw, so I doubt that will bother you." He stuck out a hand, and Ed moved an arm from neck to shake.

"Yeah, whatever."

At the Slytherin table there was polite clapping. Wine glasses were raised to Malfoy in toast before they sat down to eat. Crabbe sat down next to him with a clipboard and pen.

"Sir Malfoy, your first day of classes is like to take up more time than regularly allotted for the rest of the year. Along with moving your belongings into the rooms, there won't be much time for your scheduled appointment with Snape as Sir Malfoy the senior desires."

"Please Crabbe, call me Mr. Draco. It would not do to be accidentally confused with my father."

At the Hufflepuff table there was silence. It was well known that they existed to fill out numbers and take extras. Being dumped with someone with a real live personality was something brand new to them.

"Welcome to Hogwarts?" A boy named Justin ventured.

"This is madness."

"Welcome to Hogwarts."