Hunk groaned, sagging wearily in his chair and poking at his plate of goo. After a sleepless night and early flight back in Yellow, who had purred worriedly in his mind the entire trip in response to his sadness at leaving, followed by several hours of tricky hardware installations on the moon, he'd been so exhausted making actual food had been out of the question. He would be lucky if he could finish his goo without falling asleep at the table as. Fortunately, everyone else also seemed too tired to care, judging by the generally muted conversations around him, even from the usually exuberant Lance.

But at least Lance was talking again. Three days with his family seemed to have perked him up again, at least a little, and he was smiling and answering with more than one-word sentences instead of curling in on himself like a kicked puppy. Hunk was still going to kick his ass, though, for beating himself up over something so stupid as well as for avoiding talking to anyone about it for days. That could wait until he had the energy for said ass-kicking, though. Right now it was just nice to hear his best friend's voice again.

"...wait, so your mom is coming with us when we go?" Lance was saying around a mouthful of goo, blinking wide-eyed across the table at the three Holts.

Colleen hummed and nodded, chuckling at his stunned expression. "As I told Katie and Matt, it's not as if I have any good reason to stay on earth, and every reason to come along. I may not be a soldier, but I'm sure I can make myself useful regardless." Her smile took on a sharp edge. "Not to mention I owe the Galra Empire a personal ass-kicking for what they've done to my family."

Lance let out a bark of delighted laughter, the easy genuineness of it reassuring to Hunk's ears. "Oh man. If you turn out to be half as dangerous as Pidge, then am I ever glad you're on our side!"

"Indeed!" Coran chortled from the end of the table, raising his glass in a playful toast. "I have no doubt you'll be an asset to the team, Colleen. In fact, it's almost a pity, if things were different I suspect you would have made a most formidable Yellow Paladin!"

It took Hunk a moment to process that statement, but when he did he bolted upright, his cutlery clattering violently against his dish. "Wait, what?" he demanded, cutting off Colleen's response mid-syllable. "What do you mean she could be a yellow paladin?!" His mom's words came lurching back to the forefront of his minds, her insistence that they take the time to find someone, anyone, who could take his place. And there was another yellow paladin under their noses the whole time they'd been on earth?

His outburst had startled the rest of the group, judging by the number of stares he was getting, along with a narrow-eyed look from Lance that said he hadn't missed Hunk's suddenly white-knuckled grip on his spoon or the way he had to swallow hard against a wave of nausea brought on by his roiling emotions. Hunk ignored the looks, his own gaze flicking desperately from Coran to Colleen and back again.

Coran took a breath, setting down his spoon and returning his gaze with that calmly penetrating way he seemed to see right into your soul. "Under different circumstances, Hunk. Unfortunately, she's not part of a viable set-one with living individuals of pure yellow, blue, red, green, and black quintessence whose energies are linked." he added, directing the last part to Colleen, whose face immediately cleared of some of its confusion. "And without being part of a viable set, she cannot, sadly, be a paladin."

"How do you know? How can you be sure?" he hated the desperate edge to his tone, hated the guilt welling up in his gut, but his nerves were already too fried from last night's breakdown for him to reign in either. He felt a hand on his shoulder, probably Lance's, but brushed it off and turned his focus fully toward Coran.

"Her quintessence only has two other connections." The Altean said, his voice gentle, banishing the last of Hunk's half-formed hopes with a handful of words. "Even without knowing their colours, that isn't enough."

Hunk sank back in his chair, fighting the burn in his eyes. Right. Of course she couldn't be in that case. Distantly he was aware that Pidge had asked something about how Coran knew and both he and Matt had launched into an excited explanation of how in some Altean animals bioluminescent markings had evolved to detect quintessence as an additional way of sensing predators and keeping track of their own group in low-visibility environments. It should have been fascinating, but right now his head felt like it was spinning in circles along with his stomach and he couldn't quite breathe. He barely registered the hand gripping his arm and pulling him to his feet until suddenly his back was hitting the cool metal of a wall, the supporting hand guiding him down to sit on the floor before shifting to carding gently through his hair in a soothing rhythm. There was only one voice now, he realized, counting in a steady cadence that Hunk automatically tried to match his breathing to despite the resistance of his lungs.

When he was finally able to force his eyes to focus again, he found himself in the hallway outside the dining room. Lance was kneeling in front of him, looking anxious, and cupped Hunk's cheek with a cool hand when he saw recognition in his eyes. "Hey." His brows knitted with concern. "You good now? Need a bathroom or anything?"

Did he? Hunk swallowed, but while his stomach still churned, it wasn't as bad as it had been and he shook his head. "No." His voice cracked and he swallowed again. "No, I think I'm okay."

"Good. That's good, buddy." Lance cracked a thin smile, not looking completely reassured. Leaning back a little, he rearranged his long legs so he was cross-legged in front of Hunk instead of kneeling, hands in his lap where he could toy with the fraying cuffs of his pants. "Wanna tell me what happened back there?" he asked softly. "You seemed super upset about Mrs. Holt not being able to be a paladin."

Hunk nodded, grimacing. "Yeah. It's stupid, it shouldn't have bothered me so much, but…" he heaved a slow sigh. He could talk about this. Lance would understand, if anyone would. "...Mom really doesn't want me leaving again. And she said we should just take the time to find new paladins so I wouldn't have to." He could feel a lump forming in his throat as the argument played back in his head once more and hastily rubbed at his eyes. "...We has a huge fight about it, and then when Coran said Pidge's mom had yellow quintessence…"

"...it was a total kick in the teeth?" Lance's expression was sympathetic and sorrowful, and he grabbed one of Hunk's hands and set their arms swinging gently between them. "Aw, asere. That really sucks. Like, so much. No wonder you freaked. I would too."

"Yeah…" Hunk let out a slow breath through his nose. "I just thought for a minute...especially after the way I freaked out at her…If Mrs. Holt could actually..." The words failed him, unable to put his jumble of half-formed hopes and fears and the gut-wrenching misery of the previous evening into a coherent sentence.

The other teen seemed to understand him anyway, dropping Hunk's hand and leaning forward to pull him into a tight hug. Hunk accepted the familiar embrace gratefully, burying his face in Lance's shoulder and closing his eyes. Trust Lance to know what he needed, even when Hunk didn't know himself.

"It'll be okay." Lance whispered in his ear, stroking his hair again with one hand. "I know it sucks, having to leave again. Having to go back to fighting. I don't want to either. But we'll get through it, okay? Just...tell me when it's getting too much and we'll figure something out."

"...Okay." Hunk nodded against Lance's shoulder. The other's soft words, the reassurance that he wasn't the only one reluctant to return the front lines, eased the tightness in his lungs a bit. He breathed in, slow and deep, and out again.

"Atta boy." Lance patted his back in approval. "You wanna finish your dinner? Or should we head to the lounge and start de-stressing?" He straightened up and tapped his cheek meaningfully, grinning hopefully.

Lance's smile was infectious, and Hunk couldn't help offering a shaky one in return. "De-stressing sounds good, actually. I could use a good manicure."

"De-stressing it is, then!"

"Mind if we join you?"

Hunk jumped at the unexpected voice. Looking up, he saw both Shiro and Pidge peering around the doorframe beside them like something out of a cartoon. All that was missing was two or three more heads to complete the stack, although he had a feeling the others were just out of sight even so. "How long have you been watching us?"

Shiro had the grace to look sheepish. "The whole time. We were worried, and wanted to be close by in case there was anything we could do." His cheeks went pink. "Not that Lance didn't have it well in hand."

Groaning, Hunk hid his face in his hands. Right. His whole team-everyone on the Castle, for that matter-saw him freak out at Coran. "I'm sorry for freaking out, Shiro. It was really dumb, I know-"

"No." A firm but gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him before he could go further, and he lifted his head again to meet Shiro's concerned gaze. "It wasn't dumb. I know all of...this…" he waved a hand at the hallway around them, the corridor of an alien spacecraft. "...isn't easy on you. On any of you. But the rest of us are here for you, okay? Both of you." He directed a warning look at Lance, who flushed and ducked his head.

"Damn right." Pidge grumbled, scowling at both of them. She leaned out to poke Lance sharply in the shoulder. "Just let us be, okay?"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Lance threw his hands up in despair. "I'm an idiot, I know. Mami already chewed me out for that."

Shiro chuckled and ruffled Lance's hair with the hand that wasn't resting on Hunk's shoulder, ignoring the huff at the gesture. "Good. Now, how about that group de-stressing session?"

Hunk smiled softly as he watched Lance enlisting the two to help him retrieve his beauty supplies since they'd 'so helpfully volunteered'. Lance wasn't the only one who was dumb for not talking about what was on his mind. He felt better already.

000000

"-which is why Alteans first invented clothes!"

Allura chuckled at the fascinated expressions on the faces of most of the Humans as Coran concluded his long-winded lecture on Altean quintessence-sense. Evolutionary biology had always been a hobby of his, and he was patently delighted to have a rapt audience for his recountings of the various things he'd learned over the years. In fact, she couldn't remember seeing him this animated since before-

She pushed the thought away with a shake of her head. She didn't want to think about that right now. Instead she forced herself to refocus on the conversation going on around her.

"So people having different colours of quintessence. Why is that, exactly?" Hunk was asking curiously. He seemed much calmer now, his hair pulled back from his face to keep it out of his mud mask and a mug of something called 'koko samoa' cradled in his hands. "Like, what determines it? Quintessence is elemental, isn't it?"

Coran nodded. "In its raw form, yes. That's why the Lions had to be finished in places rich in those elements. I was actually explaining some of this to number seven the other day. Green's quintessence came from a jungle world in the Telma sector, Yellow's from a rocky one. Blue's was from a water world, Red's from the outer atmosphere of a star, and Black's core was drawn from the interstellar void. However," he held up a hand in a warning gesture, "Humans and most animals naturally produce quintessence in all combinations of colours, and to be honest, I don't believe the reason for that was ever discovered. Oh, there were plenty of theories, and ongoing research, but the how and why of the quintessence of living beings was still one of the big questions of Altean science."

"Huh. I guess there's always more to be discovered." Lance commented as he picked through his selection of nail polishes for one that would suit Colleen. He also seemed much more cheerful than he had been in the wake of the revelation about Haggar's identity, and Allura was relieved to see the easy smile back on his face.

Matt nodded in agreement, leaning over to steal some of Pidge's cookies and earning a sharp elbow in his side for it as he leaned back against Shiro. "One thing I'm curious about, I'm guessing it's not hereditary? I mean, mom has pure yellow, Katie has pure green, and I asked Avenol once and mine is a mix of red, black, and green?"

"Quite right." Coran confirmed cheerfully. "In fact, it's quite rare for parent and child to have the same colours, and even if they do, the balance of them will almost certainly be different. Take Allura as an example." He gestured to her and Allura found her cheek markings glowing awkwardly as every set of eyes turned to her. "While she and her mother both have all five colours-even rarer than single-colour quintessence, that-Allura's is heaviest in red and black and lightest in yellow and green, while her mother, Linnata, had more green and blue and the least red."

"So I guess their personalities would have been pretty different?" Alejandro commented from the couch behind her where he was stretched across Kurogane's lap having his legs massaged. "Linnata was less temperamental and impatient?" Allura whipped her head around to glare at him and was met by a teasing, affectionate grin.

Coran burst out laughing, ignoring her as she turned to scowl at him instead. "Very much so. Linnata was a brilliant woman, stubborn as an arlmelkin when she put her mind to something, mind you, but very clever and one of the most loving people you would ever meet. Patient, too, considering all the antics Alfor and I were always getting up to."

"It sounds like you knew her pretty well." Shiro raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Indeed I did." The older Altean nodded, a fond smile on his face as he took a long sip of his cup of nunvill. "She was my wife, after all."

Allura had to duck as Alejandro nearly fell off the couch in shock. "Wait, what? Since when?" He demanded over the various confused or startled exclamations around the room. He directed an accusing stare at her that made her giggle in spite of herself. "Allura, you never told us Coran was your dad too!" He complained, pretending offense.

Beside her, Pidge tipped her head back to look at Alejandro upside down. "Wait, you didn't even know?"

Alejandro frowned and shook his head, giving Allura another long, more uncertain look. "No. Altea never told us that." He said softly. "I knew they were important to each other, but even after we lost Coran she never…"

She avoided his gaze, instead looking back across the room to where Coran was explaining to a confused Keith and an obviously delighted Shiro and Ryou about how multiple marriages were the norm in Altean culture, rather than the exception. The conversation they'd had in the holoprojection chamber the day the emptiness of the Castle had gotten to her came back to her mind.

"...I've never been very good at letting myself open up to people." She said in a low voice, hugging her knees to her chest. "At letting people see Allura, rather than Princess Allura."

A hand came to rest on her shoulder, and when she looked up she found Kurogane leaning over his partner's legs to regard her seriously. "No one here is going to judge you, Allura, no matter what you might think they'll find wrong with you. Trust me, I know."

His steady gaze was calm and sincere, and she found herself nodding in response. As closed-off and private as Keith was, even more than herself in some ways, for Kurogane to tell her she had nothing to fear could be nothing less than the truth.

Satisfied, Kurogane straightened up again and resumed massaging the stumps of his partner's legs. Allura smiled softly and, after a moment's thought, reached up to unclip her earrings and pull off her tiara, setting them on a cushion beside her. Sleeping without them was more comfortable anyway.

0000000

Alejandro jumped as a bag was dropped in his lap. Looking up, he saw Lance distributing other assorted packages around the room.

"So it turns out," the teen declared to the room at large as he passed another bright, crinkly package to Shiro, "that Colleen Holt is an absolute goddess who has spent the last three days stocking the Castle with Earth food. There's an entire store room full of snacks, guys."

A chorus of laughter and cheers went up as Lance continued to distribute the treats, and Alejandro grinned as he continued. "And knowing you, Pidge, I'm sure you've been dealing with the entertainment shortage?"

"Please. Like you even have to ask." The green paladin smirked and tapped a couple of keys, and a jazzy saxophone solo began to play over the overhead speakers.

Matt wheezed and nearly toppled into Shiro's lap. "Oh my god. Is that Careless Whisper?!"

"Of course it is! You didn't think I'd forget to stock up on memes, did you? Any requests?"

Several people immediately started shouting songs, but Alejandro found his head being dropped unceremoniously to the cushions as Kurogane got up and darted over to whisper in Pidge's ear. Propping himself up on one elbow, Alejandro watched his partner in confusion as whatever he was saying made Pidge cackle. What was that all about?

A moment later he got his answer as the saxophone was replaced by slow violins. Then a woman's voice started to speak, in a thick spanish accent: "I know that we are young, and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore!"

Kurogane was directing a shit-eating grin his way and Alejandro realized exactly what he was hearing just half a second before the next like played and everyone burst out laughing.

"Alejandro!"

0000000

The floor of the observation lounge was strewn with empty packaging of a wide variety of Earth snack foods and misplaced containers of various beauty products, and Lance was pretty sure that half his nail polishes were lost among the blankets, but as he snuggled deeper into the plush cushions of the couch and breathed a contented sigh he couldn't bring himself to mind.

From where he lay he could see the sleeping forms of his friends-no, his family. Being away from them for three days had really driven home just how important they all were to him. As much as he'd missed his mami and papi and siblings while he was out in space, he'd missed the rest of his team just as much while he was in Cuba. Counting the blanket-covered lumps on the floor and couches was immensely reassuring and he felt better than he had in several days.

As his gaze slid across the sprawled figure of Allura (he'd never seen her so relaxed. And taking her crown off around them? He never thought he'd see the day!) and the pile that was Matt on top of Shiro (sickeningly cute as usual) and the dozing (but not sleeping, because she was a Blade and creeping in the dark was totally their thing) shape of Kovirak by the far wall, he paused at the small, tightly-wrapped ball of blanket with a fluff of black hair poking out of one end.

Keith.

Lance still hadn't talked to him about that late-night conversation. He couldn't find the courage, let alone the words. They'd barely spoken at all today, in fact. But then, Keith had seemed lost in thought anyway and Lance hadn't wanted to intrude on his train of thought. But he'd felt those dark eyes on him from time to time throughout the evening, even if Keith looked away whenever Lance glanced up.

Was he angry? Had Lance permanently fucked up any chance of being with him because of his-admittedly idiotic-rejection?

God, he really hoped not. Keith was openly ride-or-die for the people he cared about, it was one of the things Lance loved most about him, that unswerving loyalty, but he was terrified to think what might happen if he'd broken the trust that had given the wary teen the courage to confess to him in the first place. At best they might slip back to how they'd been at the beginning, with Keith weighing everything Lance said for truth and cautious of every action. And at worst…

Lance grimaced and hid his face in the pillow. He wasn't even sure what the worst case would be. The best case was bad enough. Better just to hope he hadn't royally screwed everything forever.

He'd start by apologizing, and explaining exactly what was going through his head that night. Keith deserved that much from him at least. The trick would be finding the time, though. They had a hectic couple of days ahead of them, setting up the lunar defenses and finishing getting ready to leave again, and that really wasn't the kind of conversation you wanted to have while multitasking or when you were tired from a long day. He'd find it somehow, though. He didn't want to put it off for too long.

He yawned, his eyes drooping in spite of themselves. His last thought as he drifted off was that if Keith forgave him for his stupidity, he would definitely not make the same mistake again.

0000000

As Coran ran the Castle of Lions through a series of nightly system checks, Colleen hovered by the wide forward screen that displayed the ship's surroundings. She'd come along to keep the Altean company, but found herself drawn to the image of the dark desert below and the brightly-lit shapes of the garrison buildings further off. From up here, the hulking buildings looked downright tiny.

It was strange how a place with such a weight of associations attached to it could look so insignificant.

She turned slightly as Coran approached, accepting the mug of tea she'd briefly abandoned on the console to cool and sipping it slowly while he drank from his glass of nunvill that he'd grabbed as they passed through the kitchen on the way up here. For several moments neither spoke, content to keep each other silent company.

It was Coran who spoke first. "Lovely planet you have here." He commented. "I would have liked to see more of it if we had the time."

"It is. Parts of it, anyway." God knew she'd seen plenty of the bad parts too, in her line of work. But then, that was people making it that way. The planet itself wasn't to blame. "If you'd like to come back here after the war, I'm sure the kids would be delighted to show you around."

"I'll look forward to it." He chuckled, taking another drink and heaving a soft sigh.

They lapsed into silence again. Even with everything she'd already been shown or told, Colleen still had a thousand questions, so many she didn't know which ones to ask first. Despite their differences, the quest for knowledge was as much a part of her as it was for Katie and Matt-or had been for Sam, whose love of learning had taken him to Kerberos and his death. Her eyes burned at the thought and her fingers tightened around her mug as she fought not to give in to tears.

"Does it ever get any easier?" The question burst out of her before she even realized she'd spoken. Laced with bitterness, and with sorrow. It wasn't one of the questions she'd intended to ask, but now it was the only one left in her head.

Coran blinked and gave her a long, penetrating look. Then he sighed and turned back to the window. "I don't honestly know. I wish I did." His voice betrayed an ache as deep as her own, and even in the low lighting she could see the shadows in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Colleen said quietly, looking away. "Losing Sam...it hurts more than I ever could have imagined. But you've lost both Alfor and Linnata, and on top of everything else that's happened, too." To be able to hold himself together and support the Princess and the paladins so well...but then, Allura was his daughter, and Colleen would walk through the fires of Hell for her children. That stubborn determination she could fully understand.

"I've had time to come to terms with Linnata's death." He answered wearily. "It was several years ago, subjectively speaking, and her health was poor after she completed the crafting of the Lions. Giving birth to Allura only made it worse. But Alfor…" He drew in a shaky breath. "When I went into the cryoreplenisher, I wasn't expecting to find that ten thousand cycles had passed when I awoke."

"You thought you would see him again?"

Coran nodded, taking a long drink from his glass again. "Unfortunately, things didn't turn out that way. The only consolation, small though it may be, is knowing he and Linnata are together again among the stars."

That gave her pause, and she glanced at him sharply. "Alteans believe in an afterlife?" As absurd as it was, she couldn't help wondering if maybe a race far more advanced than her own had poked scientific fingers into that particular spiritual area.

"No." A quick shake of his head dashed that thought before it could properly form. "Not in the sense that I'm given to understand many Humans do, anyway. Quintessence is formed in the heart of stars, just as nearly everything else does, and when we die, our quintessence, our life force, returns to those stars to become part of something new. In that sense, we will be reunited with those we love when we ourselves pass on."

Colleen fell silent, considering that. She gazed outward, lifting her head to look at the panorama of stars dusting the night sky. To think that Sam, her beloved, brilliant Sam, was out there, that his essence had become part of the very stars he loved so much, was fitting, and the ache in her chest eased just a little.

"I think they'd be very proud of you and Allura and everything you've accomplished since you woke up." She said at last. She moved closer, putting a hand on his shoulder in a wordless gesture of support. "I know you probably don't believe in such things, but I'd like to think they're all up there watching over us from inside the hearts of the stars."

Coran's gaze lifted as well as his hand came up to rest on top of hers, the contact a quiet solidarity between two people who had loved deeply and lost too soon. "Yes," he murmured, "I like to think so too."