A/N: Hey again. Weren't expecting this? That's okay, neither was I. This has been stuck in the making for the longest time and is now finally done. The fact this is the same time as the new trailer is a coincidence, I swear. Anyways, please do enjoy after the longest of absences.
Anna was in danger.
With that simple fact, everything else effectively ceased to exist. There was Anna, and the black-haired stranger who was trying to kill her. Nothing else mattered. Time appeared to slow, almost to a standstill. This was hardly an unprecedented phenomenon. The idea that a parent would find seemingly impossible strength to save their child was well known. This was different. It wasn't Elsa's bones or muscles that found untapped power, but her mind. Elsa had certain advantages, true. This was still a surprise. She had to use this.
Before she even realised it, she was between the would-be assailant and Anna. On the surface, bad idea. If it was an assassin after Anna, they wouldn't care about collateral. If Elsa or both of them were targets, Elsa just made it all easier. This wasn't the first time she was dealing with an armed assailant. Before she could consciously think about it, Elsa had a plan in motion. She extended her left arm.
BANG! A sharp burning suddenly hit her right arm. The pain was dulled, and even the sound felt as though Elsa was underwater when she heard it. The bullet could have lodged itself in her arm. It could have gone through. It didn't matter. The target was still there. The one who tried to hurt Anna.
First, the gun. Ice sprouted within the gun's inner workings, though only Elsa was aware. At least, until the gun clicked uselessly in the assailant's hand. Might have another one, though. Not for long. Next, the handle froze solid. At first, the mysterious woman tried to drop the weapon. Then, she more desperately flicked her arm around, trying to remove the weapons stuck by ice. That still wasn't enough.
Elsa willed more ice, this time on the back of the woman. In a few seconds, the weight forced the woman backwards, slamming her head against the pavement. Her gun hand was almost covered in ice now. She would never raise it against Anna again, that was for sure.
That still wasn't-
"Elsa!" Anna called out. "Elsa, you're hurt."
Reality quickly caught up to Elsa. Except for the crippling pain she expected, which had been reduced to a more moderate sting. The blood coming from her arm, she couldn't ignore. With another flash of brilliance, she willed a layer of ice to seal the wound. Time was of the essence.
"Let's go," Elsa said, walking the other direction. The last thing they needed now was anyone slowing them down.
"But I-" Anna started
"Now isn't the time." Despite Anna's misgivings not a minute ago, she followed after Elsa without complaint.
Following the brief dilation of time, everything in the following hours seemed be greatly accelerated. For them, speed was of the essence. Logically, Elsa highly doubted their surprise assailant would contact the authorities. Once they reached a place with more human and electronic eyes, another attack would be far more difficult. Given the circumstances, Elsa put nothing above their mysterious assailants.
Much as haste was essential, dealing with the bullet wound would be even more so. Trying to leave the country sporting a bloody arm would only make them the suspicious ones, not to mention the risks of leaving the damage untended. With absolute focus, and only the assumption that Anna managed to follow behind her, Elsa pressed on back to the hotel room.
By the looks of things, the bullet merely grazed her arm. Good. Nothing that would stop her from travelling back with all due haste. Much as she abhorred the idea, Elsa changed back into her clothes from the day after washing the wound. Curiously, a layer of her own ice seemed to soothe the pain for the time being. That would have to suffice.
To her credit, Anna managed to pack everything up by the time Elsa was ready. In fact, she'd stuck with the brisk pace all the way to the airport, providing no real distractions. Once they'd arrived, the sheer volume of travelers and staff alone would discourage any second attempt on their lives, not to mention the dense security measures. Still, Anna kept a weather eye out, just in case.
Drifting from terminal to plane, Elsa tried to process the attack in full. Who was it that tried to kill them? The most obvious answer wasn't necessarily the correct one. The main problem was how rushed the whole thing seemed on closer examination. Certainly, a surprise attack would be the most effective method if Elsa really was as powerful as she perhaps believed. The main reason she couldn't confidently pin this on the White Hand was the weapon itself. Surely, they were too advanced to rely on something as flashy and loud as a handgun. Not to mention, something that would put them in trouble if discovered. The White Hand she knew always acted with a much lower profile than this.
The possibility of another group out there not only aware of the secrets surrounding the treasures but able to act upon never even occurred to Elsa prior to this point. If such a thing were true, then the danger they were both in grow exponentially. One group operating from the shadows that wanted her eliminated was problematic enough to contend with, but two?
Worse, what way out was there? If their encounter was any indication, this hypothetical second group was tracking their movements. How else could they have intercepted her on this trip she never even planned? Was there anywhere her or Anna could be safe?
Could she even bear to tell Anna about this?
Throughout the journey home, Anna didn't feel the least bit surprised by the composure with Elsa retained in response the being shot. What did surprise her however was how calm she herself managed to remain. When they returned home, Anna finally chalked it up to Elsa's influence. There was little doubt Anna would have panicked and fallen apart on her own. Not in the real world. Not when someone was counting on her.
Once again, the silence fell between them. Once again, Anna chose not to pry. At the very least, in this particular instance she knew what it was that bothered Elsa. She wanted to believe that if Elsa wanted help now, she could trust in Anna enough to ask.
One night's sleep was all it took this time for Elsa to start a conversation.
"Morning. How are you holding up, Anna?"
Anna's hand and the fork it was holding froze. "I- I'm okay? What about you, Elsa? You were the one who got shot, not me. You can't seriously tell me you're completely fine."
Elsa rolled up her sleeve, revealing the graze of bruised, slightly burned skin. "It's nothing to worry about. I've had much worse."
Anna couldn't quite be reassured by that. Or Elsa's attempt at a smile, for that matter. Even if she was well aware of how true that last part was. "I- I'm still a bit rattled, Elsa. I can remember everything that happened so clearly. If you weren't there- If you hadn't stopped that woman-"
"I was there, Anna. To tell you the truth, you didn't really need to be there. Yet I insisted on you coming." She rested her head on an open left hand. "I thought you would be safest right next to me."
"You couldn't have known, Elsa-"
BANG! Anna flinched as fist impacted kitchen top. "I should have known, Anna! It's my job to know. Or find out. Even- even if I don't like what I find." With that, Elsa wordlessly turned and walked back into her room.
"Elsa." Damnit. Would she close herself off fore-
Maybe not. The next thing Anna knew, Elsa returned to the table, setting a small case down sideways. Inside, was- a revolver. One Anna wished she wasn't quite so familiar with. The sheen alone put her ever so slightly on edge. Did they really need this?
"Anna, this is the only gun I've ever owned. I've fired it exactly twice. I don't think I need to remind you of the second time."
Right. The warehouse. That was only a warning shot. Even Anna could figure out an inkling of where this was going.
"And- the first time?"
Anna caught a rare, solemn look from Elsa. "Two years ago. A man. A weapon of his own, not too different from this one." She paused. Her thousand yard-stare directly outside to the snowfall. "He fired, I fired back."
"You- you shot someone?" Anna gasped. Elsa could only nod. "That- that doesn't matter. He shot first, you said it yourself. You were just defending yourself."
"And it seems you'll defend me, no matter what." As though there was a question. "You don't even know who he was, or why he tried to shoot me-"
"Then tell me." Anna gazed into Elsa's eyes. Trying to be prying, intense. Yet encouraging at the same time. This was important. She knew it.
Another pause. Come on. They were so close. Anna needed to know. Regardless of how much she felt she deserved it. "The man- he was my partner. From when I was on the police force. He was- he seemed like such a good man."
"The photo-" Anna whispered. The one she found when she snuck into Elsa's old room.
A harsh sigh. "I wish you hadn't found that, Anna. But yes, that was him." In spite of her clear apprehension, Elsa placed a hand on Anna's.
"It's okay. If you don't want to-"
"No. I can do this, Anna." Elsa shook her head. "I won't hold out on you any longer. Let me start from the beginning."
She'd done it. Was that excitement or worry Anna felt more strongly at this?
"It started before I ever even joined the force. Though I can't remember a time when I wasn't intent on joining. Helping investigate; go toe to toe with devious criminals and the mysteries they left behind." Elsa gave a short laugh away from Anna. They sure got a mystery, didn't they? "So, I wound up here in Arendelle. I just wanted to study here, but then he found me. Adam. He helped mentor me, get me a detective badge far quicker than I could have on my own. Always said he saw some great potential within me."
"I see. And did you- I mean, were you two-" Anna blushed. No, much as she wanted to know, that was bit too intrusive.
"No. I spent some time with him outside of work, but I never really felt anything for him. At first I thought it might have been the disparity between us, but it ran perhaps deeper than that."
Wait, they weren't seeing each other? For some reason, Anna put this idea in her head that Elsa hunted the White Hand so persistently because for him. Was that not true? "Well then- what happened to him?"
Elsa sighed. Something grave really was coming, wasn't it? "There was a trail of unsolved crimes. More people getting away than there should have been. Adam told me I should leave it alone, at least until I gain more experience. But it didn't sit right. I just couldn't let it go."
"You found them? Didn't you?" Anna asked. There could be little question it was them.
"Not at first. I hit the same brick walls the others warned me about. There were leads that seemed promising, but always turned out to me missing critical evidence. Physical clues, video footage, even witnesses couldn't remember anything they were supposed to, or they suddenly left town before they could testify."
Anna balked. "You don't mean to say they were-"
"No, nothing like that." Elsa shook her head. "I suspected someone was silencing witnesses, but not in that way. Strange though it sounds, I suspected someone was actively distorting the memories of key witnesses, or tricking them into leaving before they could testify. It sounded insane at the time, yet it was the only explanation I could think of that made sense. After everything that happened between us, I can say for almost certain that was the case."
"Really? From me?" Anna pointed at herself. "What did I do?"
Elsa rubbed her chest. "You shot me, remember?"
"I sho- oh, that." The museum. The Scarlet Star. "Look, they just told me that was a knockout gun. I refused to kill anyone, ever. Just one hit and anyone would be out before they hit the floor, and they'd wake up eight to ten hours later."
"Well, that wasn't all that happened. Though I did have maybe thirty seconds before I went out, just enough time to hit the alarm. When I did wake up, I suffered a headache worth about ten hangovers. More importantly, I almost completely forgot about the night before. If I didn't have a couple more tricks up my sleeve, I would have lost the trail."
"Oh. Wow." Anna lost herself in her thoughts for a moment, until a thought finally occurred. "Wait, so you think it was the same thing involved. And the same people?"
Elsa nodded. "Yes. Though I didn't know it at the time. With all the evidence simply vanishing, I had but one path no one else had taken. Perhaps one no one else wanted to was a chance someone was compromising our investigation from the inside. They could intercept all the possible leads and information that could help us and cut it off before there was a chance to investigate any further. One by one, I sifted through the activities of the people involved in investigating. Clean backgrounds, no suspicious activity anywhere I looked. Believe me, I looked. Right up to the very final suspect." Elsa stalled, for an uncomfortably long time. "He-"
"Elsa, it wasn't- it wasn't-"
"Adam. The man who taught me how important it was to stay objective. Dispassionate. I still couldn't bring myself to believe it. So I went to him. I started to explain what I had pieced together." She rubbed the back of her neck. "He was smart, though. Careful, too. He already realised where I was going. After expressing some regrets, he lifted his gun. And he fired."
Anna gasped, "He shot you?"
"He tried to." Elsa pulled her hair back. Underneath lay some faded red scarring. "His bullet barely missed my skull. Mine- mine didn't."
"I-" Anna froze. Elsa really was a killer. The real Elsa, not that thing controlling her. "So- he died?"
Elsa nodded, a stern look now across her face. "Almost instantly. I called an ambulance, but I imagine it was already too late before I picked up the phone. Some of the details got out, and the police were furious, at least until I showed the evidence I gathered, and they confirmed that he had in fact shot first."
"So they believed you? Isn't that good?"
"I suppose it was better than going to jail, yes. Once they discovered there was a leak, the only thing they wanted to do was cover it all up. Not appear like a bunch of incompetent, f- individuals who allowed a spy in their ranks. I couldn't abide that, but they shut me down at every turn. Said I was too 'personally invested' in this." Elsa sighed a little. As if to not completely deny that. "I was sure they would be back. If we let our guard down again, they would run circles around us."
Anna couldn't help but remember her stint as Phantom Red, though with less resounding pride than at the time. It really her employer's handiwork and not hers, wasn't it? "So that's why? Why you spent all that time-"
"Yes. Every single time I found something, it was only because they came to me. All the way back then, they seemed to have the upper hand, and it's only some kind of luck that has kept me alive this far. Yesterday was that all over again." Suddenly, Elsa was close up to Anna, with soft eyes. "Anna. It's not too late for you to walk away from all of this. You can take your new life, find a place to lay low, learn some real skills. I'm sure the White Hand won't bother trying to track you down if they don't think you're a threat."
Anna stared into the tabletop, as though the answers she was looking for were etched in there somewhere. The 'I would never' she felt so sure she would answer never managed to arrive. The brief firefight the day before was simply too fresh and vivid for her to be certain. Either of them could have easily died. Maybe both of them. In that moment, Anna could do precisely nothing. Even with the nerve to move, she would have been one mere bullet away from a cold corpse on the ground.
"It's alright if you need some time to decide," Elsa offered.
"I don't know!" Anna snapped. Stupid. "I don't know, okay? I've never been good at thinking, planning, anything like that. I have no idea where I would go if I left this place. And I know I would only spend my whole life looking over my shoulder, wondering if they were coming to get me. At least when I'm here I feel a little stronger. Braver. But- I- promise me something, Elsa."
A solemn nod. "Anything."
"Don't die trying to save me, alright?"
Elsa's hand was on her shoulder. "I don't know that I can promise that. If there's a chance to help you, I'll take it. If not-" A long silence. Could Elsa even conceive that scenario.
"I- I'm sorry. Stupid me, saying stupid things again." Wait, did Elsa really feel that strongly about this? Anna dare not ask.
"No, that's not it at all." Anna sighed. For every question answered, a new one emerged. "Or perhaps I'm just as foolish as you. I think it's rather late for us to be worrying about throwing our lives away over something stupid."
Right. Anna already built up her own share of reckless decisions for Elsa's sake. Was that the reason she seemed so attached? How badly Anna wished she told herself that it didn't matter. Taking her mind of the issue, Anna focused on something Elsa just said. Did she see her own decisions as reckless? Sure, there was the whole warehouse incident, but her involvement went back further than that. Was there any point in mentioning it?
"Say, Elsa. Do you ever wish things turned out differently? You know, with Adam. Finding out he was a spy and all that."
She closed her eyes. Wasn't this a question that ever occurred to her? "I suppose I wish I managed to stop him in a way that wasn't fatal. Though I'm not sure there was any way both of us could survive that confrontation. Or that he would have talked about his operation. If he didn't manage to silence himself, someone else certainly would." Elsa shook her head. "I don't see the point of imagining he was anything other than what he truly was. The lie is right there. No going back from that."
"Yeah. I see." Why couldn't Anna be that strong? That- focused on the here and now? "Well, it was just I was remembering-"
"What is it? Did something else happen?" Anna swallowed. Elsa had enough problems without the ones she had left on her lap already.
"Well- nothing new. You just got me thinking about all of this. About my own past. The people I used to know."
"You mean Amber?" Of course Elsa would remember. Anna almost certainly wouldn't were their positions reversed.
After a brief silence, Anna sighed. "Yeah. Her. I have no idea what happened to her. Honestly, for a short time after I got caught I felt sure she had gone and sold me out, even though I never saw her again, even when I was in prison. I just felt so mad. So hurt." She closed her eyes. Scrunched her face into a frown. Remembering. "At first, I wanted to go after her once I got out. Scream at her. Then I realised there was no chance. We never stayed in one place too long. If she'd really turned on me, no way would she wait around for me. I was truly alone. I guess- that's why I took their offer so readily."
"Right." Elsa nodded thoughtfully. "I imagine you were training then off on the heists after that."
"Yeah. I kind of forgot about all of that. I wanted to focus on my new task, but especially on not getting caught again. Well, you know how that ended. Now, I can't help but wonder where she ended up. Maybe she also got involved in a group stealing priceless jewels across the world as well." Anna half-hearted a laugh, trying to avoid the thousands of worse fates her former partner could likely have ended up in. "It's not like I could check, though. I never even knew her second name. Refused to even tell me. Some friends we were."
"What country did you last see her in, anyway?"
"Uh, this one?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you aren't going to try and find her. Are you?"
Elsa closed her eyes. Then smiled. "If I find the time, I'll try to look into it."
"No," Anna gasped.
"Is that a 'that isn't her' no, or a 'I can't believe you tracked down the person I never thought I would see again in two days' no?"
Anna squinted her eyes at the profile picture Elsa showed her, something she would likely prefer to the mugshot. A promising sign that this was the right lead. Not to mention an important reminder that Elsa was a solid investigator when it came to the field of more common criminals. Not that she would ever refer to anyone that Anna knew that way.
"I'm not going to lie, that really does look like her. Though she's- a lot cleaner than I remember," Anna admitted. Hardly surprising, given their former life on the streets. To be honest, the woman had a fairer face than Elsa imagined from the stories. There was about as much hardness to their piercing, brown eyes as she imagined, though.
"Is it her, though?" Elsa asked, interrupting Anna's third review of the picture.
"Well- I think so?" That most certainly wasn't joy she was feeling at the discovery. "How did you do this, Elsa? How could you possibly-"
Finally, Elsa was back in her element. "You see, it wasn't as difficult as you might think. I still have some friends in the force, and they let me take a peek at some of the arrest records. At first I thought I would search for any Amber with no given last name, but none showed up."
"Oh. Must have taken a lot of time to sift through." Anna flashed her best concerned face. "Elsa, please don't tell me you spent all night on this."
With a knowing smile, Elsa shook her head. "It still wasn't as difficult as you think. I simply had to shift my perspective. Sometimes, you have to- not so much profile a individual but understand them. With everything you told me, another possibility occurred to me: what if Amber had a second name, but rejected it. When I run that hypothesis, things quickly began to fall into place. Take a look at the record."
Elsa scrolled to the lengthy profile text, and after a moment and a half hesitating, Anna took to reading it. It wouldn't be the last.
"God. She- she never told me about any of this." Was Anna holding back tears? For once, Elsa didn't investigate.
"There were clearly things she wanted to forget. Things that made her- forceful. Unwilling to trust others. I can imagine it took a lot for her to open up about any of that to anyone."
Anna seemed to lose her focus. "Yeah. Open up. Well, at least it seems as though she got the help needed. I guess things worked out for her in the end if this is all the information there is. Thanks, Elsa."
"You should see her again." Elsa could sense her evasion, even if it wasn't too difficult. In any case, she was having none of it. "I know this can't be easy. There are always things in life you feel would have been better left covered up. But the truth is the only way to get closure; to move forward. Please, Anna. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering on something as important as this."
"I-" Anna stammered. "Well, what if she really does hate me. Maybe she never wants to see me again after all."
Elsa nodded. "That's certainly possible. We should ask, in any case. If she really does refuse to speak with you again, I suppose that should be closure on this matter enough."
"Yeah, okay." Anna looked away. Elsa could tell. Anna was finding it difficult to find the strength. Elsa could only hope to lend some of hers.
Three days. It took just three days for their meeting to go ahead. Sure, the weekend fell at that time, yet Elsa couldn't shake the suspicion that both parties were of the opinion that keeping the tense waiting period to a minimum was ideal.
So here Elsa was, sitting in the booth of a cafe on account of the other woman sitting just behind her. A stranger to Elsa; yet a piece of Anna's past too important to allow to drift away. Now it was simply a matter of Anna's arrival. Assuming her nerve held. That, or the thought of disappointing Elsa after the trouble it took to arrange all of this. Things could still go either way.
Ding-ding-ding. The bell at the front door chimed, pulling Elsa away from her tea. Anna walked through, letting the door close behind her. Looking as though she had trouble breathing. Elsa shot a glance at her, trying not to pile the pressure on, but offer encouragement. She could do this.
Step by step, Anna moved forwards. Elsa couldn't watch her for too long, may seem suspicious. Passing by, Elsa could see her sitting down, almost painfully slowly.
No need to rush this. There was likely enough pain to go around already. Just listen. See what they have to say. No need to step in unless things start to escalate.
Nothing. Not a word. After all this time, didn't either of them have anything to say? Did they come all this way only to decide they didn't want to speak to each other? Or was there some trouble finding the right thing to say? If only Elsa could see. She could only wait. As though she hadn't spent enough of her life on that.
Clink. She could just about make out the drinks being placed down in the booth behind. Must have been ordered before Anna of herself arrived. The silence resumed briefly, only interrupting by what was probably a spoon.
Anna was the one to finally break the ice. "My favourite. You remembered."
"Course I bloody remembered." While Elsa would never say such a thing, the voice possessed a low, coarse vibe that went with your typical ruffian. In this instance, it was best not to judge. "That was one of the few things that made life bearable."
"What about me, Amber? Did I make life bearable?" After all the stalling, Anna was now straight to brass tacks. It seemed an answer to that question was difficult to come up with.
"Red, I-" Even without a visual, Elsa could tell why the conversation took so long to start. This was going to be difficult. Painful. "I was kind of fucked up, okay? I thought the answer to all of my problems came at the end of my fists."
There was a short, strange sigh. "Yeah. I remember."
"Red, please. I- you were better for me than I ever realised. Even then, when we were working together, I wanted- well, I didn't just want to fight. I wanted to hurt the world. The way I felt it hurt me. I- I had a lot of issues." That sounded like the conclusion of a therapist, not her own. Still, that was the kind of help she badly needed. "'Course, sooner or later you're going to run into someone you can't just punch your way through. I thought I was gonna get beaten to a pulp."
"Please don't tell me-" Anna gasped.
"No. She held my fist so tight I was sure I'd be crushed. But she looked at me and- she asked me what went wrong." Elsa heard a loud sniff. Was Amber crying? "She was a cop, you know. I was just some mangy girl who liked to hurt people. She saw right through me. Then instead of tossing me in a another stinkin' cell, she helped me. Helped me get food. A home. A chance. And- I saw some people for therapy. I really didn't want to do that, but it helped so much. Showed me you were right all along."
"And now? How are you doing?" Elsa relaxed now. It didn't sound like anything was about to kick off.
"I'm currently in training. I'm going to be caring for the sick. Me. Can you believe it?" The usual sour tone all but faded, replaced by-giddiness? It didn't feel real.
"That's good. Really- good." Was Anna not convinced of that? Something seemed off.
"What about you, Red? How are you doing? You're looking better yourself." Elsa knew the truth. Not to mention Anna knew she was sitting here. What would she say?
"Yeah, I'm doing. I'm doing better. Starting clean myself now. Still trying to figure out what I want to do." Well, that wasn't technically untrue. Still, there were things best left unmentioned. That was probably why Anna didn't mention her new name. "Look, Amber. I've been thinking about this. And- well- I'm not really mad at you. It sounds like you had it far worse than I ever did. And you're trying hard to do better. If- you know- you wanted to patch things up- try again-"
"Red. I'm so glad you forgive me. You couldn't even stop me from punching you, yet you put up with all my crap anyway. You made my life so much warmer, even though you did have to. I'll never forget."
"Th-thank you. To be honest, I thought you might still be mad at me." Elsa bit her tongue. Her intuition told her this conversation was about to take a turn. "Maybe-"
"Look, Red. I found someone else. Someone new. Well, sort of. It was the same woman I mentioned before; the cop. To be honest, I was kind of surprised. She kept coming to see me. Kept pushing me to go my therapy sessions. To try and get better. I couldn't believe she was always there for me. And I never thought she would say yes. But- yeah."
A jarring silence took hold; only the occasional passing vehicle caring to break it. Anna. She wasn't expecting that news. It wouldn't be Anna who ending up escalating things, was it?
CLANG. An unusually loud ceramic impact almost startled Elsa. Almost as much as the words that followed: "Uh- yeah- I- probably-" Anna stammered. "Ineedtogodosomething-"
Elsa barely realised Anna was leaving until she was already at the door. Apparently escaping unfavourable situations was a skill she hadn't yet lost.
"Red, wait!" Next was Amber, making it about half-way. Elsa could just about make out the side of her face beneath the dark-blonde hair. She did look quite a bit better than the pictures she had seen.
Elsa couldn't stare for too long, or chase after Anna. She could only hope she was heading back home.
The discover of Anna's effects in the entry to their home came as a great relief to Elsa. The sounds she heard coming through Anna's door- not so much.
The conclusions, at least the surface ones were easy enough to draw: Anna clearly cared for Amber in spite of what sounded like a betrayal. Perhaps that was too harsh a word. The term 'falling out' seemed more appropriate. Hinting at something more. Anna and Amber were close before. The question was: what kind of close? Elsa already had an answer. Only she knew too well that it was dangerous to jump to any conclusions.
So it was with a heavy heart that Elsa found herself standing quietly outside of Anna's door. Wondering whether to pass through the wooden barrier before her. Did Anna ever do the same for her? It didn't take the intuition or the training of a detective to suspect that was highly likely. So badly did she want to simply walk away, give Anna the time she clearly needed. Be fair, if nothing else.
Life wasn't fair, though. Time was something they simply didn't have. As spontaneous risks went, this one stood as trivial compared to the ones both of them had undertaken in the previous months. How then did this stand out as so harrowing? So daunting? Maybe it was the thought of all she stood to lose. At the same time, that thought also stopped her from turning back. She had no real plan, and one chance.
With a second's hesitation gripping the door's metal handle, she pushed forward. As it turned out, the door lay slightly ajar already. At least Anna wouldn't repel her immediately. She hoped.
As it turned out, Anna appeared to be face down in her soft pillow. It was difficult to tell whether she was crying now, but there could be little doubt that was the reason she had rushed back here. Elsa tried to think of some consoling opener, but nothing came to her mouth. All she could do was walk over slowly and lower herself onto the bed. Announcing her presence with any greater volume might just make thing worse.
"Hey," Anna mutter through the pillow. "Uh, sorry I ran off like that. I just- needed to get out of there." Even looking away, Elsa could feel the emotional meekness to those words. It was taking everything Elsa had not to retreat there and then.
"As long as you're safe. I was afraid you might have run off somewhere." That's right, things could have been a lot worse. Should she have focused on that. No, just try to console Anna right now. "That must have been difficult. You still cared about her a lot, even after everything that happened. Did you really love-"
"Shut up!" Anna snapped. "What do you know about love?" Damn. She went too far too soon. Elsa couldn't fall back now. That would just make things worse.
"Not much. But I know quite a bit about guilt." That wasn't simply regarding her work, either.
"What does that have to do with this? She blew me right off. Thought she was so much better than me. But, then how hard is it to be? She had her whole life figured out, but me- I haven't done anything." There was the guilt.
Elsa finally turned to face Anna. "I think you have it backwards. She was the one who felt she wasn't good enough for you. Do you really think she didn't regret what she did to you deeply? That she might think that you would never forgive her for what happened?"
Anna was silent for a moment. "I always forgave her. She punched me in the stomach right on the day we met, remember? You heard me. You know that I wanted to start again. But she found someone better than me. Someone better to go with her better life."
"Better? How so?" They were getting somewhere. Not a moment too soon.
"I- I always thought she couldn't live without me. That she needed me. I felt so sure that when I was gone, she would simply ruin herself completely. Maybe I wanted her to, that time I was in prison. But she went and turned all of it around. She has a life of her own. What did I do? Went on to do even more stealing. What good am I if I couldn't even do better than her?"
"It sounds like she had better influences in her life than you did once you broke apart. Maybe if the White Hand hadn't picked you up, things would have turned out much better for you." That did leave the question of why they chose Anna of all people. Best not to mention that. "You still have that chance now, Anna. To be a better person. I believe you can. If you still care about Amber, do it for her."
"I do. I just- wonder how things could have been different." Anna fell back into her pillow. "I- I don't want to be alone tonight. Can you stay with me for a while?"
"Of course." Elsa dropped her coat onto the wooden floor, then lay close to Anna. Within a few seconds, Anna sidled up to her. As the gentle warmth of another permeated her, Elsa felt content to simply lay there for now. Anna lost something dear, but perhaps now she had gained something as well. Elsa couldn't bear to see her in tears any longer.
Especially when the walls could close in on them any day now.
