Scarce

Author: Cheryl W.

Author's Note: Sorry this posting is late. RL got me a bit down but I'm thinking torturing John will cheer me up!

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Chapter 7: Vacation Day Blues

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Sheppard's silence was unnerving Rodney. Yes, he got the man was injured, had seen it with his own eyes, that he was using all his meager energies on attempting to do more than be dead weight in he and Ronon's arms but Sheppard hadn't spoken since their little break an hour ago. More importantly, hadn't told Rodney to shut up his nervous ramblings. And that wasn't normal behavior for John Sheppard and Rodney feared what that meant. Was probably why he was trying so very hard to get a verbal reaction from the man, to reassure himself that Sheppard wasn't really that injured, that they weren't killing him dragging him across the downed tree trunk and underbrush of this stupid planet.

"I gotta say, when you pick a vacation spot, it's a dozy, Colonel?! Course you didn't know Lorne would be coming here when you requested this day off a few months ago, guess it's just happenstance that it's so relaxing," he taunted, really wanted to know why Sheppard had asked for the day off, more importantly, why he had skipped out of Atlantis on this "holiday" without a peep to anyone, not Elizabeth, not his fellow military officers, not his team and not even Rodney.

Even drugged and sluggish with fever and pain, John didn't miss the petulant element to McKay's tone. Sparing a look away from the woods ahead, he looked to McKay, drawled, "Who says I was going for relaxing? This is so more memorable than getting a tan on the mainland," purposefully not giving McKay the answer he knew his friend was searching for.

"The Mainland, that's your version of a getaway? Wow, you're a cheap date, Sheppard." His acidic tone telling Sheppard Rodney didn't believe his real vacation day destination had been the mainland.

But it was Major Lorne who made the next comeback, as he paced closer to the three men, his words directed at his superior. "Wait, vacation day? You asked for this day off and then came along on a supposedly boring resupply mission with me?"

John didn't reply but Rodney hardly noticed as he continued his diatribe. "See, even Major Lorne smells something's off with this whole scenario."

"Oh thanks for the backhanded insult," Evan muttered under his breath at McKay's insulting inclusion of him into the conversation.

Rodney simply ignored the Major's snide remark, was too set on grilling Sheppard for answers…only to get the man to be more lively, less likely to die, of course. "And even if you did plan on sunbathing, it doesn't explain why you didn't tell any of us your whereabouts, just vanished, went AWOL, stowed away on the Major's mission like some runaway teenager." Rodney was really warming up to his topic, part of him knowing his anger and frustration and his still underlying hurt and, yes, remembered panic, were peeking through his interrogation now.

Reacting to Rodney's insulting take on things, John rumbled back, "Actually the vacation day thing was just perfect unplanned timing."

Wanting more from Sheppard than his normal keep outs, McKay demanded, "Perfect unplanned timing…to what? Ditch us?! Play Michael Douglas to the Major's Val Kilmer."

"What?! I'm not Douglas," Sheppard fired back, while Lorne smugly got in his "Told you, sir."

"Major, shut up," John commanded, didn't have to see Lorne to know the man was fighting back a smirk when he obediently reacted with a "Yes sir." Hoped the subject was dropped but then the last person who ever asked him to talk about his feelings entered the round of questioning.

"I get needing the day off for …whatever personal reasons," Ronon allowed, didn't need John to tell him why but that fear of not knowing where Sheppard was for most of the day, fearing the worst, fearing…well, him being hurt, so this, it didn't settle well with him. Not when he thought he should have been able to do something before this, before Sheppard got hurt, might have if he had known, been trusted enough to know where John was. "Doesn't explain why you didn't talk to any of us about you taking the day off, you didn't tell any of us where you were going?" Then he looked to Sheppard, wanted to read the man's expression, which honestly usually gave away little but when the man's words were all smoke screens it was sometimes all Ronon had to go on.

Scowling at the cross examination from the unexpected source, John bit out, "Vacation day means I don't have to get anyone's permission to go wherever I want to and I'm not available to anyone's beck and call."

Not able to keep her silence, Teyla stopped her progress and turned around, faced her leader, tried to lessen the rising tension. "We do not mean to …reprimand you, John. We were….worried when none of us knew where you were."

"Afraid I was off murdering more Genii I shouldn't be?" John snapped, eyes daring Teyla to deny her mistrust in him, her disapproval of how he handled the whole Kolya thing. She stiffened as if Sheppard had shocked her to her core and the there was a terse silence blanketing the entire group.

Again it was McKay who couldn't allow silence to reign. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

A beat later, Teyla began, her voice tremulous and her features deeply troubled, "Colonel if this is about me stopping you from…"

"Enough!" John's outburst cut across Teyla's words, caused a heavy soundlessness to drop over the group. And John felt a twinge of guilt for his anger but along with it came a swell of satisfaction at having finally nipped the conversation in the bud. Hoping to deter any attempts to revisit it, he petulantly grumbled, "It's my vacation day today and I get to decide what we do and do not talk about."

"Very mature, very eight years old of you, Colonel," McKay testily retorted.

"Zip it, McKay," John barked at his friend. "Maybe you didn't know it but this hasn't been a great day for me. I'm been bitten and clawed and rolled over on by a lion thing with spikes all while falling down a cliff. So keep your snarky comments to yourself, Rodney, I'm really not in the mood. Now can we please keep moving so I can get out of this Grimm tale?!"

With resignation, the troupe started their journey again, all left to contemplate silently to themselves. But for their part, Rodney, Ronon and Teyla all separately came to the same realization that their last mission did play a part in why John left Atlantis without a word, especially to them. It was an unsettling revelation and when McKay opened his mouth to demand answers from John, Ronon seemed to know his mind because he shook his head and McKay dejectedly remained mute.

Meanwhile, Lorne had to bite his tongue to not intervene. If the Colonel didn't want to tell his team that he thought they didn't trust him, disapproved of his actions with Kolya, wouldn't miss him and wonder where he was today…he had to let it stand. He had disobeyed more of Sheppard's orders today than he had any officer before but he knew there were limits on how far he could push that line. Revealing a private conversation he had had with his superior about something so rare, John's emotions, would not only be grounds for heavy reprimands, a breeching of the Colonel's trust in him but also a pretty underhanded thing to do to a friend, even if he had good intentions. So he too remained silent as they trudged forward but felt a keen void without his and Sheppard bantering away about movies and snarking at each other's plans or lack of plans. And if he felt that painful exclusion after only one day with John, he couldn't imagine what the Colonel's teammates were feeling in the oppressive verbal lockdown.

He was being a royal jerk, John got that. Could feel the tension in his traveling companions and knew it was entirely his fault. Here he was ripping them new ones when they were here, all of them, trying to save his stupid mauled butt. And they shouldn't be, none of them. If he had handled things better, he and Evan wouldn't have gotten cornered by the stupid beasts…stiver things. And his team, they weren't supposed to even be on this planet, were supposed to be on Atlantis, rejoicing they didn't have to spend time with their suicidal, cocky, reckless, cold-blooded team leader. It was all wrong and he was at the center of it. And he was being an ungrateful jackass.

"I took the day off to remember a friend," John quietly announced because he owed them some honesty, to stop shutting them out, to trust them with something harder for him to share than some snarky comments and snarled 'mind your own business' insinuations. He felt Rodney stiffen beside him as they trudged forward even as Ronon's arm around his waist slacked a bit, gentled. But the Satedan's fingers coiled into John's shirt when John continued, "Four years ago today, Captain Trevor Holland died."

From her position in the lead, Teyla sympathetically closed her eyes momentarily at the man's name before opening them and drawing in a steading breath before posing to John. "This was the man in the desert with you," she stated, remembered John calling her Holland under the Wraith's mind control, had hated the shame and grief in John's eyes when she asked if the man had lived and John said he had not.

Ronon was putting his own pieces together. Gently posed, "He's the friend you risked your career to try and rescue."

John simply nodded before he hoarsely chided, "Tried and failed."

Rodney knew he wasn't good at the comfort thing, had once thought he wasn't good with feelings at all but John Sheppard's friendship had changed all that. He had come to realize that he did feel emotions, sometimes too much. Like now. Felt grief for John's loss and helplessness for not knowing how to ease his friend's pain and shame that he didn't know why this day was important to John. Instead interrogated Sheppard like he had a right to intrude on this day, what it meant to Sheppard. "Sheppard, I'm….sorry…if I had known…It was none of my business and I …"

"I know," John forgivingly cut across Rodney's stammer, shot his friend a wane smile. And he did know, that he should have trusted Rodney with this information before, all of his teammates. That they wouldn't have exploited his grief, would have shared in it and tried their best to lessen it. And maybe that was the point, he didn't want it lessened, didn't want it divvied up, wanted all the pain, the shame, the blame for himself. Still hadn't gotten over it being about him, when he was struggling so hard to make sure it wasn't about him, was about Trevor Holland's life.

Evan had heard rumors about the black mark in John Sheppard's file, something that had bordered on a court-martial, had sentenced him to the cold hell of Antarctica before he was miraculously given a promotion and assigned military commander of the Atlantis project. Not one to walk into things blindly, Evan had done his own 'debriefing' of John Sheppard before he agreed to be his second in command, hadn't gone to the gossipers but to those who he knew worked with Sheppard before. And what they had to say about Sheppard, it didn't hold a candle to any rumored wrong the Colonel had done. Some had even indicated that Sheppard's black mark, it was something to respect the man for, regardless of what the big wigs had to say.

With those ringing endorsements, Evan had signed on to the Atlantis project and he didn't think he had ever made a better career move in his life. Sheppard was what the others said and so much more. Never before had Evan claimed the whole glorified 'follow him to hell and back' loyalty he had thought was nice PR for the armed forces. That was until he saw that the Colonel would willingly do that for him, for his men, for his team, for Atlantis. On a daily basis if need be. Sheppard had done it today, for him, when he tackled that alpha stiver before it pounced on him.

It hadn't even been a thing Evan had to think about when he did the same to the runner up Alpha, stood in its path so it couldn't get to Sheppard. Ok, he had failed but the gesture was there, was the 'follow him to hell and back' but more than that. Was the 'I'll go to hell so he wouldn't have to make the journey' determination. That was the type of loyalty Colonel John Sheppard stirred in him, in anyone who actually saw him in action, had the privilege of fighting at his side. And now, the alluding details to that black mark on Sheppard's record, it just made perfect sense to Evan. The rescue hadn't been green lighted, John had gone to try and save his friend against orders. Had done the right thing no matter the consequences to himself. The gesture was such a "John Sheppard" thing that Evan thought he should have figured it out long before this.

"Before I accepted this posting, I talked to some guys that worked with you before," Evan began saw the stiffening in John's back and knew the man didn't know what to expect, thought somehow his former co-workers would speak ill of him?! "They couldn't tell me details about your missions but what they did say was, if I ever got into a crapstorm of trouble, there wasn't anyone better to have coming for me than John Sheppard."

A true smile graced John's lips, there was one man he knew who liked to throw the word "crapstorm" into conversations. "Let me guess. That's a direct quote from Dan Winston?"

Evan smirked, should have known Sheppard would know exactly who had said that to him. "Quote is Winston's, the sentiments were matched by everyone I talked to about you. I wouldn't have signed on to be your Second if I didn't have good reason to trust in you, sir."

"Didn't know you listened to gossip, Major," John taunted even as he felt gratitude swell for Winston, for the others the Major had talked to and for Evan himself for believing them, choosing this post.

"Listen to gossip? No," Evan refuted before he tacked on, "Take as truth high praise from men whose lives were in your hands, yes, sir, that I do."

"Stop, you're making me blush," John kidded but Evan knew that was his CO's way of saying thank you to him.

"Maybe you didn't save your friend but you risked your life, your career trying to," Ronon pointed out, needed John to not belittle that. "And he didn't die alone and that means more than you know. Take it from someone who had to spend seven years running, knowing there was no one fighting at my side, fighting for me…that when I died, it would be alone, not a soul to mourn me. You changed that for me…and for your friend Holland. I wouldn't call that something to be ashamed of."

"I just wish…" but John broke off, had told himself this day of memorial wasn't about could have beens. "Trevor was one of my best friends, just wanted to honor his life…not …"

"Just remember his death," Evan reverently finished, had lost some friends in Iraq and Afghanistan too, enough to understand what John was seeking to do for his friend. "I understand, John."

Meeting Sheppard's eyes, Ronon let the fellow soldier know that they were alike in this need, this desire to pay their respects to those they had lost. "I understand too. On Satedan, we would have a day of remembrance. We would share our best stories of those who we had lost."

"You know that we burn candles to send good wishes to our dead," Teyla imparted, though she knew John already knew that, had joined her when she was grieving a loss.

"We tell those stories at family reunions sometimes," Rodney supplied.

"So Holland, why did he think picking you as a friend was a good idea?" Ronon made sure to put enough sarcasm into his question so that John could easily select a lighthearted story of his friend instead of something that might be hurtful to John.

John felt amusement, not grief spark at the answer to Ronon's question. "He actually thought it was a terrible idea to get attached to me. Probably why he only called me Major and sir the first six months we flew together. But then a mission went FUBAR but we got out of it in one piece and then he finally had to admit he thought I was awesome."

"Yeah I'm sure," Rodney snarked.

But Teyla prodded, "I do not understand. Why did he think he should not "get attached" to you?"

John smirked as his memories resurfaced. "These were his words, not mine: "Figured no use getting to like a guy that'll either be moving up the ranks and transferred out of the unit the next month or who'll get his tail rotars blown away on some kamikaze mission anyone with half a brain would pass on but you." But John's smile turned bittersweet, "Course he was kinda right…I did get my tail rotor shot…going after him."

"So he knew you pretty well, huh? And still didn't run for the hills?" McKay taunted, hoped it somehow eased John's pain.

With a warm smile, John shook his head, "No, he was either my co-pilot or wingman on most of those kamikaze missions he was so worried about that I'll take."

"Sounds like a man I would have liked," Ronon declared, glad John had had someone watching his back long before they met.

"Yeah, you would have liked him. Everyone did." There was a mixture of pride, affection and sorrow in John's tone.

"When we get back home, we'll drink a toast to him," Evan suggested to which John nodded in agreement.

Silence reigned as they continued to navigate the forest and Evan wanted to point out to John that he had friends here, now, who willingly joined him on his kamikaze missions, who hadn't meant to sound judgmental for what he had done with Koyla. Evan knew, had he been there to witness Sheppard's gunfight with Koyla, that it would have scared the crap out of him, knowing that John could have lost his life doing it that way. So he couldn't fault John's teammates for feeling that fear, reacting to it like they had. But now was not the time to hash any of that out. There had been enough of an emotional toll on Sheppard already, on top of his physical trauma. It would all have to keep until later, when they were home and John was on the road to recovery. Hopefully then Sheppard would be reasonable and see that his team's responses to his showdown with Koyla weren't about a lack of trust but their down right fear of losing him.

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Legs barely working, John had tried to aid the movement but knew he was an anchor to the two men trying to help him through the forest. Luckily there had been no roars or indications that the stivers had friends now taking up pursuit but there was life in the woods that John decidedly didn't trust. What Ronon said seemed valid: where one predator made its home so did others.

So John didn't request a break, bit down on his lip so he didn't cry out in agony when Ronon picked him in his arms and maneuvered him over a big downed tree trunk in their path like he was a kid before gently resettling his feet on the ground. Turned his head to his shoulder to try and wipe away the stinging sweat getting into his eyes, he almost jumped when Rodney realized his trouble and used his hand to swipe the sweat from his forehead and swept his hand through his sweat drenched hair, pushing it back off his forehead.

He didn't offer up a prideful protest when Ronon held the water canteen to his lips for him to drink while they kept moving, just took a long pull on the canteen and nodded his thanks. Didn't exactly appreciate McKay shoving half of a bland power bar into his mouth but chewed it down anyway. Beggars could not be choosey.

Then the dreaded encounter came and Teyla raised her hand and brought the group to a halt. An animal similar to a black bear was fifty yards ahead of them, sniffing the air, watching them. Everyone capable of holding a gun had it pointed at the beast, meaning everyone but John was prepared to blow the animal to kingdom come. Everyone startled as Lorne fired his .45 in the air but the gun shot was enough for the bear like animal to give up the idea of attacking and lumber back the way it had come. At least for the moment.

All members of the excursion breathed a sigh of relief and then pressed forward, knowing that the sun was going down, that twilight was only three hours away, maybe less. John felt his head dip down and jerked it back up as they moved but it was too exhausting, his head too heavy. So he bowed his head, let his chin rest on his chest, knew that he wasn't needed to play navigator, had to just keep moving his feet, though that was becoming harder and harder. Pain radiated from his shoulder, his chest, his side, his head, even his freaking face where the underbrush he and Evan had hid in earlier in the day had scratched him. Every nerve ending was blazing with pain. And then there was the sensation of burning up, of heat he couldn't escape because it burned inside him with the fever.

All in all, he was miserable. But he wasn't alone. Lorne had stayed with him when it meant his death to do it and his team had come for him, were with him now. So the least he could do was suck it up and not make things any harder on the rest of them by whining about how crappy he felt. It wasn't a day of sun, surf and sand for any of them.

From his position behind Sheppard, Lorne noted when the man could no longer keep his head up, felt renewed concern flare when his stubborn CO hung his head. And he was about to offer to take over for McKay or Ronon to help bare the Colonel's weight when he watched the silent exchange between the two men over Sheppard's head, read their concern easily but it was their determination to get Sheppard home that spoke volumes. As did their simultaneously positioning even closer to John, taking on seemingly more of the Colonel's weight if not all of it. No, they would not relinquish John's wellbeing to him. 'Yeah, like I've given them reason to trust me to keep him safe,' Evan berated himself, knew John's teammates had every right to hold him accountable for the Colonel's present condition.

In frustration, Teyla found as they traveled no other suitable passageway up the cliff face, was starting to resign herself to the fact that the way they had come down was the only viable way to go up. Didn't know if they should chance passing by that point and looking for an easier way to ascend the mountainside but with a fleeting look back over her shoulder to John, whose head was slumped forward and was barely able to move his feet, she worried that every minute was precious, had to not be wasted in getting John back to Atlantis, to medical aid.

The vines were still dangling down the cliff face where they had left them and Rodney didn't know if that was the good news or the bad. He had hated going down them and now he was expected to trust them to hold his weight as he climbed up them when rope climbing had never been his thing?! Had sucked at it in gym class all those years ago?! But then he thought of Sheppard, how the wounded man would make the climb and felt guilty for thinking of only himself a moment ago.

"Let's put him down over there," Ronon commanded, jerking his chin toward a boulder.

Complying, Rodney redirected his path as he kept a tight grip on the too quiet man held between he and Ronon. Carefully they lowered Sheppard to the ground and rested his back against the boulder. The motion seemed to rouse the Colonel from his stupor and he raised his head, blinked blurrily at his two friends' worried faces. Having zoned out, John wasn't sure what was happening, didn't have to guess as Ronon helpfully supplied him with a sit rep.

"We're at the spot we repelled down the mountain. There doesn't seem to be an easier way to get to the top, not this direction anyway," Ronon imparted, a tinge of apology in his tone for what was ahead for his injured friend.

John simply nodded his head but he couldn't put the pieces together, was a little foggy on the mechanics of getting up the mountain. But Rodney put it into a clearer picture for him.

"By repel he means we used vines as iffy ropes to get down, fearing they would snap at any given moment. As for going back up, there's no harnesses, no counterweights, no pulley system. How they expect you to be able to climb up or, me, for that matter, is just ludicrous. You can't walk, there's no way you can shimmy up a rope," this last he scathingly directed at Ronon.

John mustered up some bravado. "I'll do it, just give me a minute to rest here."

"Oh, right, the mauled guy is fine to climb a mountain. Why don't I believe that?!" Rodney shot back, reaching out to lay his hand on Sheppard's shoulder before the fool tried to get up and do as he bragged he could do.

Lorne meanwhile was inspecting the vines, gave a good pull on one and turned to Teyla who was at his side. "Impressively ingenious really."

"Yes but Rodney is right. How do we get the Colonel up to the top?" Teyla voiced her concerns.

"I'll carry him," Ronon proclaimed as he joined them by the mountain face.

"What? Piggy back? Fireman's carry? Either way it's hardly possible and then we have to consider the extra weight on the vines might be too much," Evan pointed out, had a mental picture of Ronon and Sheppard falling to their deaths.

"They will hold," Ronon insisted before he let his trepidation show, "They have to. He can't climb on his own."

"Maybe we can devise a harness…" Lorne theorized but it was another voice that provided an answer.

"Already have a harness," Sheppard used some of his strength to project his voice to his huddled friends' location. And yes, his suggestion ran contrary to his boast moments before but he had had to admit , if only to himself in the last few minutes, that climbing wasn't one of his available skill sets at that time. What with the shoulder the striver gnawed on and the claw slashes across his torso, reaching his arms over his head again and again ascending a rope just wasn't happening. As his three friends turned to him he was grateful they drew closer, that he wasn't required to maintain that volume of voice. "My tac vest will do," he said, tapping his vest with his hand that Evan and then Teyla thankfully didn't discard, knew it was acting as a pressure on his wounds if not a great protection against stivers' teeth and claws.

Getting the point, McKay nodded, "Yes, its design actually helps to balance weight. We just need to somehow tie a vine to it. Then someone can pull him up from their position at the top of the mountain." Here he looked to the most likely candidate for that he-man manual labor: Ronon.

Evan quickly strategized, "And I can pace the Colonel up the rock face."

Crouching down to meet John's eyes levelly, Teyla carefully asked of her leader, "Are you sure we should do this, John? The pain will be great." Fearing what the strain on his wounds, not to mention his entire abused body, would cost John.

"Yeah, well, I think our options are limited because I don't think they are installing an escalator any time soon," John cracked a joke, trying to ease the tension in the gathered group.

But Ronon's features were serious as he crouched down beside Teyla, his eyes holding John's, "None of us like the idea of putting you in more pain."

Seeking to alleviate any guilt Ronon might be harboring for the plan, John used his command voice to decree, "Like you said, only one way up. So let's get to it." A beat later, Ronon gave John's knee a squeeze and then crossed over to the vines and started the climb. Made it look easy and John's stomach churned because he knew it wouldn't be for him. But he swore, right then and there, to not let a chirp of pain escape no matter how painful the ascent trip to the top happened to be. He didn't want an ounce of guilt fostered in his team's conscience for things out of their control.

All eyes watched Ronon complete the climb. There was a ripple of held breaths being released in relief when he made it safely over the lip of the cliff. Then Ronon popped his head over the ledge, called down, "Let me get some leverage set up," then he was pulling up the vine he had climbed.

Rodney imagined Ronon wrapping the vine around a tree trunk, hoped he calculated how much vine length they would need to still reach the bottom of the mountainside. Doing calculations in his head was better than contemplating his own time to climb the rope, or worst still, John's. The Major broke into his distraction as he assigned, "Teyla, you and I will flank the Colonel and the Doc will stay down here to watch for any signs of stress on the vines, crumbling rockface or redirect us around any trouble areas."

Rodney's voice cracked as he exclaimed, "Me?! Last to go?! Stuck down here, alone?!"

"Upside is, once we get the colonel at the top, we might offer to pull you up too instead of making you climb," Evan offered with a snarky smirk.

"Really?" McKay asked not sure if the Major's offer was a joke or genuine. "Because that would be great but…it won't be like that time my parents forgot to come get me after the science fair, right? It was humiliating to stand out there in the rain holding my first place trophy while everyone else left with their parents. I got soaked and my trophy, some of the writing smeared and my name got…."

"Don't worry, Rodney, I won't let them leave you behind," John vowed, even as he caught Lorne's undertoned, "Too bad he can't use his first place winning genius to get us out of here another way."

"I heard that! It's not like this is my expertise. You and Sheppard and Ronon are the Tarzan wannna bes," Rodney snapped back.

"Major, Rodney we are all stressed but we all have John's best interest at heart," Teyla intercepted. Both men solemnly nodded in agreement like errant school boys. "Yes, good. Then look, Ronon has thrown down the vine so it is time for us to help John home."

"Home has a nice ring to it," John murmured then he gave a nod to Lorne and the Major and Teyla helped him up and to cross the distance to the vine even as Ronon called down, "All set up here."

Rodney noted that Ronon had done the calculations correctly, had allowed for the vine's length to extend a few feet on the ground. Then he stuck his chin practically on the Major's shoulder as he closely watched Lorne work to weave the vine through Sheppard's tac vest before tying a knot in the creeper plant.

"Don't you think a bowline knot would be better?" McKay second guessed the Major's choice.

"No. Figure eight on a Bright is stronger than a bowline," Lorne countered, tugging on the knot of the vine and ensuring it was secure. Neither man noted how hard John clenched his jaw as Evan pulled the knot tight, too caught up in their verbal battle.

Rodney still was set on protesting. "But I heard…."

"Heard from where? Your fellow K2 climbers?" Evan bitterly countered but when John reached out, laid his hand on his, he felt a tinge of shame not only at his superior's reprimanding look but the crease of pain in John's features. Silently Evan cursed himself for getting caught up in a competition with McKay when John was hurt, didn't need this pettiness, didn't want this tension between his second in command and his teammate. Reminding himself that John knew McKay way better than he did, had patience for the man's ego…and more than that, saw through his boasting to the mother hen worrier McKay sometimes miraculously turned into when it came to Sheppard, Evan nodded to John. Then turning to face McKay, he amended his tone from hostile to reassuring, after all they both wanted what was best for John. "Look Doc, I've done some climbing and this knot will hold." Seeing McKay opening his mouth, he inserted, "And Teyla and I will be right there with him and you'll be monitoring things from here."

Closing his mouth, Rodney gave a nod but he didn't appear all that reassured. Then he stepped forward, wrapped his arm around John's waist as the man leaned against the mountain side. Meanwhile Teyla and the Major reconvened back to the rock John had leaned against and started to reposition their weapons and gear to make climbing easier. "For the record, I don't like any of this," Rodney told Sheppard.

"Got that. Not like I'm thrilled either, Rodney. Getting mauled and then being jerked up a mountainside wasn't on my to-do list today," John snarkily admitted, watching as Lorne and Teyla had a quiet little meeting probably speculating if he was going to pass out midway up the mountain. Which, as much as John's pride wanted to deny, his body was giving him iffy levels of confidence they weren't wrong. When Rodney began speaking with an accusatory tone, it might not have snagged his attention as censure wasn't all that unusual coming from the man, but McKay's words did have John's head snapping back to the man helping him stay vertical.

"Maybe none of this would have happened if you hadn't gone on this mission, alone, without telling anyone," Rodney bit out, having done the calculations again and again in his head of how they had ended up here, depending on vines to climb a mountainside and John grievously injured.

"I wasn't alone," John shot back before testily defending himself further. "And it was a simple supply mission and, last I checked, you weren't my father or my superior officer."

"Well I'm your friend, maybe that doesn't matter, though," Rodney instantly countered, even as he spoke, he hoped John denied his implications, defended what their friendship meant to him. "Think you don't have to tell me anything at all."

Taking offence to McKay again lecturing him for the second day in a row, John growled, "I don't have to justify my actions to you, no."

Rodney stiffened before his analytical mind kicked in, had him ask, "We talking about today…or with Koyla?"

"Both," John bad temperedly answered, saw Rodney's face contort in hurt before flickering over to remorse.

"John, listen…"

But John ruthlessly cut off whatever McKay was about to say. "I'm not in the mood for another 'how stupid I was' lecture, Rodney." Mercifully, Lorne and Teyla timed their return at that moment, dead ending his conversation with Rodney.

Resting her hand on John's uninjured shoulder, Teyla earnestly questioned, "Are you ready, John?" unhidden worry in her expression.

"I'm ready to leave this planet, so yeah, I'm ready," John confirmed, though he was already dreading the pain to come. Accepting John's declaration, Teyla nodded and went to her vine. Lorne rechecked the knot in the vine on John's vest, as he instructed, "Now let Ronon do all the work and if you get snagged, just hold your position until Teyla and I can get there to free you up. You need a break…"

"I'll ask for a hall pass," John quipped, trying to downgrade the tension in everyone.

But Lorne's eyes remained serious as they stayed locked on him. "I don't care how slow we go at this, how many breaks you want to take. We all just want to cause you as little pain as possible."

"Nightfall, Major. It's kind of a ticking clock for us right now," John reminded, appreciated Lorne's attempt to baby him but they didn't have that luxury.

Surprisingly, Lorne smirked in response, drawled teasingly, "Ah, yeah, that's right, Michael Douglas' character bought it at night. Can see why you're a little night time phobia to still be in the scary woods."

"Am not," John petulantly denied but Lorne only chuckled. "I'm not. Ronon said…other predators…and …"

"Sure, sir, totally believe you," Evan patronized but he saw the 'thank you' in John's eyes for the lighthearted moment. Then he moved over to his own vine, got a good two handed grip on it and then called up to Ronon, "Ronon, start to pull him up." Knew he didn't need to say carefully or give further details because he knew that Ronon would do everything in his power to not bring more harm to Sheppard.

Reluctantly, Rodney released John when the vine tethering the man to Ronon moved, inching the Colonel up the mountain. Wished he had had time to offer his apology after their heated words, just hoped John gave him the chance later.

When the vine's tension tightened and John found himself pulled off the ground, albeit slowly and gently, it felt like his tac vest had been turned into a torturous tourniquet intent on compressing his chest and ribs into crumbled bits and someone was digging their fingers into every open wound he had. Drawing in a sharp breath, he slammed his eyes shut, and willed himself to not pass out.

Apprehensively watching John like a hawk, Rodney heard the man's intake of breath, the way he squeezed his eyes closed, the complete draining of whatever wane color was in his face. Quickly stepping forward, Rodney had to reach up to touch John's leg but did it as he fearfully inquired, "John?!"

Eyes still closed, John huskily replied to the alarm in Rodney's tone, "I'm good, McKay," then forced himself to open his eyes, get his hands out to the rockface so he didn't scrape his way to the top. Heard McKay grumble, "Yeah, sure, you're always good when you're definitely not," but then he was lifted higher and McKay's hand slide off his leg as he got out of the man's reach.

John didn't think Ronon would haul a baby up this ascent as slow as he was hauling him. Felt partially embarrassed, frustrated and grateful for the man's care, as he did for the mother hen shadows on his left and right that were Teyla and Lorne shadowing his "climb" via their own vines. As for John, he was drenched in sweat, ok, even more drenched in sweat than he had been, his arms trembled and that was not him even lifting them, only reaching them to the rockface. He had thought about using his legs to push off the wall but knew any additional jostling of his body would not be a good thing. Didn't mention it to anyone that he felt his shoulder oozing blood, the bite punctures not liking the tac vest/harness idea one bit.

Instead he remained silent with guilty shame as Ronon did all the work hauling his pathetic butt up the mountain, Teyla and Evan keeping more eyes on him than their own dangerous vine climbing campaign. John was thinking he should call for a break, for Ronon's sake more than his own, let the man maybe tie off the vine, get a breather. Tilting his head, he stared up the craggy surface of the mountain, knowing Ronon was there at the top, doing for him what he couldn't do for himself, without compliant. Because no matter how much Ronon disapproved of his actions with Kolya yesterday, Ronon was still fervently loyal to him, they all were: Rodney, Teyla, Evan. Whether he deserved it or not.

It was about the time of that contented thought when his vine snapped two feet above him and he found himself free falling.

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TBC

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What?! CLiffie…I mean real real cliffie?! Me?! Of course I did that to you all! I'm just that mean spirited! And John's not the only one I apparently like torturing!

And Ok, yes, their hands would be sliced up by climbing the vines but let's forget that bit of reality. After all I didn't want to maim the whole team…well I did but that's for another evil story plot.

Until next time!

Cheryl W.