"Hehehe."

"Shut it Won-Won, you want us to get us to get caught!?"

"But Lav-Lav, it's so funny!" Ron had been annoyed with her nickname for him at first, but it grew on him like a fungus- something Hermione had said about him in first year.

That and she was pretty, and did have smarts. Really she did! The name thing and ditz act was because she had thought it was cute and that he liked it imitating some girls she saw with boyfriends- and he'd come to but... She had a bit of a mean-streak, and even when she figured it out she teased him with it sometimes, till he'd grown to like it. She loved throwing people off or getting them a bit annoyed for fun.

Anything fashion related and she was an encyclopedia- her clothing line was was one of the biggest in England, muggle and magical, and he couldn't be prouder of his wife.

"I know but you've got to keep it down- we can laugh after... here will this help?" She flicked up her blouse- muggles sure knew fashion, and sure enough Won-Won went all googly-eyed and wasn't thinking of the prank any longer.

"Come on Ron, hurry up."

"Merlin I love you."

"Love you too, now come on- just think what I'm going to do to you when we get home..."

Lavender led the dazed Ron into the shop and crept as silently as she could, an uncharacteristically serious expression on her face.

The bunk beds were a surprise, that the two Twins had guests wasn't.

Lavender quickly set about muttering under her breath as she swished and stabbed her wand "Somnium for you, a little Somnium for you, none for- kidding Somnium! Don't forget to take your Somnium with you when you leave!"

Ron huffed a laugh now and set down his burden of a backpack. They set about stuffing pills in mouths- he wouldn't have been surprised to find they wore shielded underpants that could easily take care of a little sleeping hex.

They were drugging them with the Weasley's own erotic induced day dreams as an added layer to the prank. That the Twins got the wrong gender preference only made it a bonus in his mind. He'd been a little hesitant in going that far, then remembered when they had transfigured his teddy bear into a spider.

Ron had set down his backpack and dug a jug and cauldron out. Pouring the oozing green liquid out he shuddered imagining drinking that goop.

Lighting the fire in a jar and setting the cauldron on it, Ron let it heat, smiling as Lavender pricked the prick's hand, and giving it a stir, having found him surprised to take to potions after more than a bit of practice cooking.

As soon as Lavender dripped a bit of blood in the thing it bubbled and hissed.

Ron couldn't quite remember the words- it was a long one, sue him, so he read from parchment as he twirled his wand over the thing. "Nomen tuum verum revelare" Whatever that was- could be the Latin version of 'eenie meenie minie moe' for all he knew.

Still, it apparently worked as blood red smoke smelling like watermelon for some reason started rising forming letters in the air.

"Why are you doing this again Ron? Wouldn't Fred be with his wife?" Lavender asked confused.

"Had to be sure, they... They're a bit too open about their personal business in more ways than one." Ron said, the tips of his ears were red which Lavender always thought was cute even as she giggled in delight at the newest piece of gossip. Maybe she could release it for telling Ron the sorting was done with combat by troll?

The smoke finished forming, and Ron grew angrier and angrier. "Fredrick Rodriguez Weasley? What the fuck! My middle name's Bilius, and he gets something as wicked as Rodriguez? This is an outrage!" Ron shouted.

"Hehehehehe, your, your middle name, Ha! Your middle, heh, name is Bil-" she broke down into laughter then.

Ron's ears went bright red, as did his cheeks. "Merlin's bloody testicles, I... Forget you heard that? For me?"

Lavender felt bad but she couldn't stop laughing. She tried to keep silent but it escaped!

"I'm.. ha... Sorry.. Bil- I can't even say it!" She started laughing again, turning away and Ron slumped, defeated.

"Best get on with this, something good's gotta come outta tonight at least."

Ron was the only one that knew how to use- what did Dad call it, right the Taboo Marching. It felt like tiny men were marching inside the weird 'Fireleg' thing as he quickly gave Fred some new freckles in the shape of an 'F'.

It didn't take long, and they were soon slipping out the door, Lavender far more giggly than Ron, but even he smiled at the thought of tomorrow when they showed up for work with some of the shrewder customers were able to tell them apart. That got em back for trying to make an unbreakable oath when he was a kid, and Ron wondered what Lavender would convince him to do to pay them back for Polyjuicing as the Malfoy's at their wedding.

AN: I imagine in this universe Ron stayed together with Lavender, and Harry without Ron's constant need for attention eventually started studying more with Hermione leading to a slightly brighter future.