A few days later it was time to head home for Christmas. I hadn't spoken to Adam since the night of Slughorn's party, he had avoided me. I wasn't feeling particularly confrontational. We needed a break anyways, because as I stepped away from the relationship, I was aware of all the flaws. I didn't want to end our relationship, because Adam was my best friend and I loved him. A little time apart would just do us some good. We would be able to work on our issues better with a clear head. I knew all of this was true, but sometimes a small part of me thought that I was abandoning him in his time of need. There was no way to win this internal battle.
It was just very inconvenient. I couldn't apparate, so I had to Floo to my brother's flat, since we didn't have a Floo at home. It was very ridiculous, as my father was the head of Magical Transportation, but Vera hated the idea of the Floo. My brother would then take me home.
Plus, I had no one to sit with on the train. I really wanted to go sit with Hermione, but she was with Ron and Harry, and when I walked past their compartment they looked like they were having a very serious discussion. I didn't want to budge in on that. As much as Ron and Hermione fought, the three of them seemed to have an almost magnetic quality when they needed it. I was a little jealous I didn't have friends like that.
I finally found a compartment with an empty seat, and luckily knew a few people there. Hannah Abbott was nice enough, so it wasn't too miserable. It was just a long ride, and I wanted to be home already. I wanted to see my older brother and tell my father about my Potions project and just lay in my bed.
A few hours later, I finally reached my brother's flat. It was snowing heavily and just felt completely like Christmas. I found Rob on his couch, asleep. He was finishing up his training to be an Auror and would graduate in the spring. But I couldn't believe he was asleep at four in the afternoon.
Briefly, I contemplated the best way to wake him up, and a few silly ideas popped in my head. But in the end, I decided it would be best to wake him by shaking him.
"Wasgoinon?" he asked, sitting up. "Oh, Kat!"
He stood up and I gave him a tight hug. I hadn't seen him since mid-August, and it seemed like he had changed a ton since then. His hair was cut very short, and that was obviously new. He also seemed as if he had gained more muscle, as his strong arms wrapped around me.
"Hey, you," he said, ruffling up my hair. Seeing him in front of me reminded me of how much we both looked alike. We both had the same chestnut hair like our mum had, though Rob's hair was a bit darker. Both of us had dad's light eyes, and he was tall like dad too. We weren't a lot alike personality wise, though. He had been a Gryffindor and excelled in everything he tried, where my success was limited to Potions.
"Haven't seen you in ages," I told him.
"I know," he said. "So how's school been?"
I sighed, not really knowing where to begin. There were so many great things going on, like Potions. I was learning a ton in Potions. I had a great friend in Hermione. The Slug Club wasn't too bad. However, there were things like my current situation with Adam that were definitely less than stellar.
"Going well," I told him. "But I think I'm glad to be home on break. How are things going with you?"
He just shrugged. He went into his kitchen and grabbed me a Butterbeer. There was a large stash of Firewhiskey, but it was still a while until I could have that, unfortunately. My birthday was two months away. "Busy with Auror training and stuff," he said. He would be done with that soon, I knew. Dad was really proud of him, and I guessed I was too.
"Seeing anyone?" I asked him. I knew he had been dating a girl named Rachel around when school started, but I hadn't heard anything about her since.
He just shook his head. "Too busy, you know?" he asked. "It's a bit pathetic, but really, when I have days off from training I just want to sleep."
I laughed, since this was obviously true. I'd just woken him up. "I can tell," I said, laughing. It was good to be hanging out with Rob. I didn't realize that I had missed him until he was here in front of me and we could talk.
"How are things with Adam?"
I just shook my head. I didn't really know what to say, and therefore I didn't want to say anything at all. "It's complicated," I said. He looked at me a little more intensely, and then moved in for a one armed hug. I didn't have to say anything else.
"Why don't we get you home?" he asked. "I told Dad I would have you home half an hour ago..."
We both laughed. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home, honestly. When I walked into that house, I didn't feel the intense presence of home. It just felt like the building I resided in when I wasn't at school. There were no fond memories there. I had grown up in another house, but we moved here when Dad and Vera had gotten married. I didn't even have any memories of my mother in our old house. Robert at least had a few. He had told me she would wake him up in the middle of the night and they would go walk through the snow together. Growing up without a mother in my life wasn't something I liked. And I think the fact that she passed away around Christmas time only made things worse.
I tried not to think about it and keep in the present. It was Christmas, and I was supposed to be happy to see my family after such a long time. When we walked into the house, though, it was anything but happy.
Cecelia and Madeline had what seemed like all of their friends over for a little pre-Christmas party. They were playing awful Muggle music on their radios and hopped up on all sorts of sugar. This was not the peaceful welcoming I had hoped for.
"Your father isn't home," Vera said, as I trudged into the kitchen. I knew she was about to yell at me because I had tracked snow in the house, but instead I just got a very intense look of disapproval. That was almost worse, but was probably due to the fact that her daughters' friends were one room over.
This was one of the reasons I disliked Vera. There was no welcome home greeting. And since Dad wasn't here, I didn't feel all that welcome here. He was the only thing in this house for me.
A few years ago, I would have interpreted his absence as due to the fact I wasn't very important to him. But I knew he was probably busy with work. His work was very important, especially since there would be many people using Magical Transportation over the holidays. He would get home when he was able.
Rob took me up to my room and helped me do a little bit of unpacking. The Muggle music that blared down stairs was loud enough that I thought it might be playing from my closet, but there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't a battle worth fighting, so I tried to ignore it.
"When do you think Dad will be home?" I asked Rob, as he sat on my bed.
"He told me he would be home to see you half an hour ago. Though to be honest, I don't blame him for staying out of the house..." he nodded his head towards downstairs.
He definitely had a point there. I wouldn't have been there if I didn't have to be. I had no idea how Dad put up with Vera and her daughters, but he had married into the family and knew what he was getting into. "At least you've got your own place," I said.
"I've got a couch," he said. Rob was really the only thing that made me happy about being home.
"Thanks," I told him. I just kept running my fingers over the edge of my trunk for lack of better things to do. My Christmas vacation was off to such a great start.
~.~
Dad got home an hour later, after the party downstairs had pretty much dissolved, thankfully. It was nice to see him again. September felt like years away now, as so much had changed since then. I had a new best friend, a very successful potion project, and I was a member of the Slug Club. Almost five months later, and he still looked exactly the same.
He took Rob and I out to dinner, which made me unreasonably happy. It was nice to spend time with the only two people I considered my real family.
Dad asked loads of questions at dinner, and I got to fill him in on pretty much everything that happened since September. He asked about all of my classes and my professors and my friends. When I told him about Hermione's and my potion project getting possibly sold to St. Mungo's, he seemed to be incredibly proud of me. It felt good to be recognized for my hard work this term. He was happy I had made a friend as well. Overall, it was a good night. It was how every night should be.
My happiness was soon replaced with other emotions as the vacation went on. I hadn't heard from Adam in days, which I thought was unusual. I thought that surely, eventually, he would write to me. He was probably just being stubborn and waiting for me to go to him. I missed him a lot, and knew that if he didn't write me soon I would probably apologize to him, even if I wasn't the one that needed to apologize.
I met up with Hermione to go Christmas shopping. Her family's home was not that far from my own. She was only a fifteen minute walk away, which made it very convenient. She was spending Christmas with her parents somewhere warm, but we had a meeting at St. Mungo's before school started again.
It was nice that my friendship with Hermione translated outside Hogwarts. We had a great time shopping for our families and walking around the city by ourselves. I wanted so badly to go on the trip with her, because I was being forced to go to Vera's family's house for the holiday.
"I'm really glad that we became friends this year," Hermione told me while we were eating lunch. Shopping was an exhausting past time.
"Me too," I said, smiling. She understood me really well, since we were from the same background pretty much. It wasn't always easy balancing Muggle and magical culture, but we got the best of both worlds.
I had gotten my Dad some books that he wanted. Vera, Cecelia, and Madeline all got gift cards to some store that Dad had recommended to me. I had given up on trying to get them personal gifts a long time ago, because it wasn't worth it. Robert got a new radio, because I had noticed his had seen much better days when I was at his flat the other day. It had a wire coat hanger as an antenna and he probably just hadn't gotten around to getting a new one yet.
I had purchased tickets to a Quidditch game last month, and that was supposed to be the gift I was going to give Adam. I knew I would still give them to him, but seeing them sit on my desk in my bedroom made me sad. I really was missing him.
Christmas came and went, nothing particularly special about it. I got a few nice outfits, some money, and some books. Nothing too exciting at all.
Things got exciting a few days after Christmas, but before New Year's. Vera was working at her coffee shop, Madeline and Cecelia were with their father, Dad was working, and I was home alone. It was a rarity, but very nice. I had taken a book and sat in the living room by the fire, just enjoying the silence and the book.
There was a knock on the door, which confused me. We had already gotten the mail today and weren't expecting any visitors. I got up, and looked through the curtain. Adam stood there, looking cold.
The first reaction I had was that my heart sped up. But then I reconsidered. Why was he here? I questioned. Was he here because he wanted to fix things with me, or was he here because he wanted to give me back stuff of mine that was in his possession? Well, I had to answer either way.
"Hi," I said, opening the door. Since I had no idea what he was doing here, I put my hand on my hip and squinted at him. It was better to take the defensive route, I thought.
"Kat," he said, looking relieved. "Can I come in...?"
"What do you want?" I asked him.
"I just want to talk to you and apologize," he said. His words were all jumbled together and I could tell he was a little nervous. "Please, Kat? It's really cold out here..."
I decided I would let him in, mostly because he looked really cold. He followed me into the living room and sat down next to me on the couch. But he kept a bit of distance. "Well?" I asked.
"I... I've missed you," he said slowly. "Being apart... it's not good for us. I know I was an arse, you were right to be upset with me, I completely deserved it. I was upset about getting rejected and I took it out on you even though you didn't do a single thing to deserve it. But hasn't it gone on long enough?"
"It has," I agreed. "But I'm afraid if I just say, oh of course, let's just get back together... it'll go back to the way it was. Which wasn't great, at all, you know."
"You're right," he told me. "But I promise things will be better. I won't be such a nutter to you. I'll treat you how you deserve to be treated. You weren't the problem. It was all me, I promise. You were trying to be the supportive girlfriend, and I was being a jerk. I will go to any functions you want me to, I will hang out with anyone you want me to without making snide remarks, and I will be the boyfriend you deserve."
I looked him in the eyes. His dark brown eyes were wide and honest. I was pretty sure I could trust him. "Okay," I said.
The nervous look on his face melted into a grin, and he leaned into me to kiss me. Oh, I had missed him so much. After a bit of snogging, I was smiling just as much as he was.
"Oh!" I said, standing up. I wanted to give him his Christmas gift, so I ran upstairs to get the tickets off my desk. They weren't wrapped or anything, but I didn't care.
When I got back downstairs, he looked seriously confused. But in a minute, he would look seriously excited, and I couldn't wait. That was my favorite part about giving gifts- the look on someone's face when they saw what I had gotten them. I sat down right next to him, and opened up my hand, which had the tickets in them.
"What are- are these- oh wow. These are fantastic!" He picked them up and examined them. His eyes were bright with excitement. He smiled at me. Everything just felt so much better.
Author's Note: I'm sorry it's been awhile. I've been busy with some things, but I have a few chapters saved up, so I'll be updating more frequently here on out. I have some bad news- my beta, the fantastic potter-reading-coastie, will no longer be betaing my stories as of the start of next month due to work. I'm really sad :( So I'll be looking for a new beta. I would prefer someone who is a loyal reader of mine. If you're interested, either leave me a PM or a review saying so and I'll get in contact with you to give you more details. Thanks so much everyone.