"Of all the asinine things, what were you thinking Nick?" The woman asked, throwing her heads up in sheer frustration.
"Now Penny, I trust Albus and you should too, calm down-" The harried man started.
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down when you gave our lives to the hands of that young piece of hypocritical dragon dung!" Nicolas winced but she wasn't done. "You are marching straight to the floo and demanding our stone back-"
"I can't, he... well, destroyed it." He admitted reluctantly.
"You imbecilic troctolite-brained son of a troll!" She yelled at such a volume that he couldn't help but flinch even as the windows and mirrors broke.
"Now dear-" "Don't you dear me!" "Um, honey?" She glared at him in response, and he sighed defeated, managing to get out "You-Know-Who was after it-"
"So bloody what! Greater men than he have tried to take it! What in the bloody hell were you thinking! Go make a new one- no, I don't care if you're tired, get to it you bloody fool of a man!"
Resigned Nick set about making a new stone knowing it would take years and years of toil and trouble- and that's just trying to find all the ingredients, some of which may no longer exist.
Throwing the powder in the fireplace it burst into green flames. Sticking his head through the fire he shouted for an old associate of his at "The Rookery." After all, if anyone knew where to get a Snorkack's crumpled horn it'd be Xenophilius, man was a bit obsessed with the creatures after one stole his sandwich a few decades back.
"Drink it all." Perenelle Flamel ordered years later, setting a large tankard of red shining liquid made by a freshly crafted stone in front of him.
"What!? But this is far too much! It would turn me into..." Nicolas Flamel was so baffled and horrified he couldn't even finish the thought.
"Precisely. Think of it as your punishment for lending out our property to young fools. You obviously were dropped on your head one too many times as a babe besides, it's obviously up to me to raise you right."
"No! By Merlin's short hairs, this is nearly enough to make me crawl up my Mum's-"
"We'll train the crassness out of you while we're at it. Drink up, you will not like how I intend to force you to if you don't." She ordered menacingly.
Nick shuddered and drank the blasted thing.
"This is a stupid song, that has been done and overdone and is never very fun. No one listens to this, but at least I finally got another appearance!" The world's finest piece of categorizing headgear sang, before muttering "Oh, and something about the houses." to much confusion and scattered applause.
Kids were sorted, but none so interesting as this the hat thought, "I knew I would be seeing you again little Nicky, now which house to put you in?" Nicolas Flamel mentally scowled at the over-hyped lice ridden piece of felt. "Well, that's not very nice... Let's see... Your wife has sent you back here so many times we've run out of houses to put you in, and you haven't changed overly much besides... You deserve it more than most of those times by far I must say though... I know! Better be" Aloud the Sorting Hat shouted "Assistant Caretaker!"
For what felt like the thousandth time Nicolas cursed his inability to fix the infertility of the Elixir of Life. Penny had never forgiven him for that.