Hey, sorry for the wait! I actually had this written along time ago but on paper and I couldn't seem to get myself to type it up. Buuut here we go and I'm planning on at least one more.
I don't own any rights.
Chapter2
"I can't fucking believe this he is just giving up." Jay's anger quickly turned to sadness. "And Dad always thought I didn't love him. Turns out his actual SON is the one who didn't." Of course, she didn't miss that he just implied that he wasn't his father's son, but she also knew that it had been how Patrick had always treated him.
"Baby, look at me." When he didn't follow her request and kept staring at his father, she took his chin in her hand to guide his head up so that he had to look at her. This was something both had done countless of times before. "I want you to listen to me, okay? I know that you love your dad even though he might not deserve it and I know Will loves him, too and you know it." She made a short pause contemplating how to say the next words without him misunderstanding her. "This is your and Will's decision and I don't have anything to say about it, but I think you should listen to what your head tells you. I think will find that your brother is making a good point here. Before you snap at me, I also know that watching your parents die is soul crushing, but you should also what your dad would have wanted." She had watched his facial expression go from ager to betrayal and in the end, there was only hurt left.
Jay sank back down in his seat looking back at his das taking in all the machines once more. Erin didn't say anything else and neither did Jay and after what seemed like hours the door opened again, and Will stepped into the room. Erin wanted to give them some time alone to talk so she bends down to kiss the top of her boyfriend's head whispering that she would get them some coffee. She made her way towards the door giving Will a squeeze to the shoulder before she left to go to the cafeteria.
It took her about twenty minutes to get coffee and get back to the room her partners father was in. Erin could see both brothers on either side of their father each holding one of the old man's hand in his. She opened the door slowly making her way over to jay holding the cup with the steaming hot liquid in front of him. Out of the corner of her eyes she could Will jump he must've not heard her come in. Jay probably hadn't heard her either but he didn't need to, to know that she was there.
Hay began to open his mouth but closed it again, not saying anything. He didn't have to say it because she had known what his decision would be before leaving the room earlier so she just nodded her head signalizing that she knew. Erin sat down of the arm of the chair her partner sat in and brought a hand to his back stroking from left to right. The two of them stayed like that that while Conner came into the room and Will gave him the permission to turn the machines off that were keeping Patrick alive. While they watched their father taking his last breath, she felt Jay's shoulder beginning to shake. They stayed like this for a long time until Jay suddenly got up to walk around the bed to his brother pulling him into a hug as they both cried for their loss. It was in that moment that Erin realized that she herself had tears running down her cheeks not that it surprised her, she had never been able to see Jay crying.
She wasn't surprised when he insisted on going back to work to help figure out who had done this. He might not have liked to admit it but sometimes he was just like Hank who had done the same after Justin was attacked. During the next few hours she could see the fight in his eyes coming back and somehow she knew that this terrible day, just like Erin had predicted it to be wasn't over yet. It was the reason she offered Hank to stay at the district with Jay while the others went to apprehend the suspect, but Hank has just said that he had a plan that wouldn't let Jay come anywhere near the man who was responsible for the fire that had took his father's life.
Little did he know.
It was about an hour after Hank had left him standing at the parking lot across town when Erin heard his voice over the radio. Her heart jumped out of her chest but not in a good way. His weak request for an ambulance left her panicked and she was sure she had never run faster in her life. In fact, she ran even faster when she came closer and saw him lying on the pavement. Adam and Hailey were right behind her and she knew that they would go over to the suspect not that she really cared her only concern was her partner.
She dove down beside him pulling open his shirt and vest. While all she could see was blood as she kept on telling herself over and over that it would be okay, that he wasn't going to bleed out here. Relief flooded her whole body and soul a second later when she saw that the one bullet his vest had not stopped just grazed his side. Once the initial shock wore of, she felt the urge to strangle him and scream taking over. She wanted to tell him how stupid this stunt had been, how he almost got himself killed. She wanted to ask him why he thinks that he can be reckless. She wanted to shake him to make him see how much losing him would hurt them and especially how it would just destroy her. Though it turned out she didn't have to since Voight did it for her. Later when she took him to the hospital after he insisted that he didn't have to take the ambulance there, Will did the same Hank had done and Erin had wanted too.
After Will had left but not before asking his brother if he wanted to leave him without a family so desperately, she decided that she would have to try a different approach to this because she could see him drowning his brother out.
"Promise me something?" She asked and she could see on his face that he knew where she was going with this. "Never go in without backup EVER again!" Jay looked at her than and nodded his head muttering a "Yeah."
All Erin could do was pray that he would keep his promise but she had to have faith in him because it had been him who had first asked her to make it three years ago. After everything had gone down with Yates she had sure been hell bend to keep it but just like when she had killed that animal to get justice and personal revenge for Nadia he had gone rouge today to get the same for his Dad. Erin knew she couldn't punish him for that.
Two days later when he came home from emptying their father's apartment Erin immediately felt that something had shifted inside of him. She hadn't accompanied him to help because she knew that it was something the brothers had to do alone but she had made sure to let him know that she would be there if he needed and wanted her to be. That night he just sank down on the couch staring straight ahead so she sat beside him placing her hand on his thigh. It felt like they had been there forever before he spoke those words.
"He was there." It left her confused and she wanted to ask him what he was talking about but she waited. A moment later Jay pulled out a picture and she instantly got the answer to the question she didn't ask out loud. His dad had come to his graduation from the academy. He had been there and even went as far as taking a picture of the moment his son was handed his badge while shaking the commander's hand. The picture showed him in his blues wearing a beaming smile.
She knew what this meant to him since his father had always made him feel like he wasn't good enough, that being a cop wasn't good enough. The fact that his dad had been there when he officially became one, took a picture, printed it and held on to it showed that he had been proud of his son. It made Jay feel better and even worse at the same time because he would forever feel guilty about his last conversation with his father where he had called him ungrateful and that he had never been able to apologize. Even though this moment would never leave him he finally felt a weight falling of his shoulders because after so many years of resenting his father for how he talked to him and how he made him feel he knew that deep down it hadn't been the truth. His father although he had never been able to tell him and choose to keep him as a punching bag had still been proud of him.
Erin knew that there wasn't much to say but she didn't feel like words would be enough anyway. She took him in her arms instead and cradled his head against her chest as he cried tears of relief. Hours later when the tears had subsided and they had made their way to bed she did think of something she could say that would hopefully make him feel a little better. She made sure that he looked her in the eyes when she said it.
"You always got me."
In that moment he knew that he had to let go of his remaining anger towards his father eventually it didn't matter anymore because the only thing that really mattered was that she would be by his side to guide him trough what was to come. Just like he would do for her.