Harry cast his Patronus, and the ewe followed his stag around the field. The rolled playfully through the long grass.

"Good job," he said. I broke my concentration with the spell and the ewe faded away. I was really pleased with myself. It hadn't taken long to learn and I seemed to be pretty good. Mastering the spell was easier than I had thought it was going to be. It would be harder in a real situation because I was terrible with thinking on the spot, but at least now I knew how to do it.

As we stood in the field, neither of ustalking to the other, I tried to analyze what the ewe said about me. It surely wasn't saying I was smart. It was with sheer stupidity that it would clear dementors from my path.

"Interesting," he commented, breaking the silence that had settled between us in the last few minutes.

"So my patronus means I'm stupid," I said, just a little miffed. "And you think that's interesting."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Ewe's are useful to have around, aren't they? Like their fur... and milk... plus they're kind of cute, right?"

"I guess they're cute," I sighed. If someone asked me to name a cute animal, an ewe was not anywhere on my list. "Until they're cut up and served for dinner. And I'd like to think I have more independence than it does... I don't need a stag to follow around."

"Well," he began, "You followed us here... didn't you?"

"I guess," I reminded him. I was sick of where this conversation might go and wanted to change the topic. "Anyways... is that good? Do I need to do it again?"

"Once more," he said.

It was harder to muster up the happy, secure feelings the second time, but I got it done anyways. This time, my ewe had nothing to chase around so she just sort of stood there.

"Good job today, Kat," he said, quietly.

"Thanks," I said.

He started walking back to the tent and I followed him. Night was coming. The days were getting shorter as we pushed onwards into fall. "Can I ask what memory you used to conjure that?"

I just shrugged. "I didn't exactly use one memory," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It was easier for me to feel happy by remembering how Adam made me feel... the safety and stability in that time of my life. I had so much control over my life! And I felt loved. It was really good for me," I said. "I mean, the good times, obviously."

"I see," he said, though it didn't sound genuine. We finished walking through the woods before we spoke again. "That's interesting, though... using the feelings."

I nodded. As soon as we got to the tent, I started work on dinner. It would be so nice to have a real meal...

Just before we ate, Harry came out of the tent with the locket in his hands. "Kat, I'm really sorry, but it's your turn to wear the locket," he said.

I took it from him and slung it around my neck. "It's okay," I said. As soon as it was around my neck I immediately felt different.

My skin was crawling... I could have sworn there were ants all over me. And my anxiety increased by a hundred fold. I did not like it at all. Focusing on cooking and the delicious smell of meat over a fire was the only thing that kept me sane.

I put our food on plates and brought them inside for dinner. I had to keep my focus on this or else I would lose it completely. There was a constant feeling of dread inside me that I just couldn't seem to shake.

I knew the dinner I had made was good when Ron took seconds. They talked while we ate but I couldn't bring myself to add much to the conversation.

"How did you lot deal with this?" I asked, as the pressure built up inside me. It was the locket that was messing me up, I knew it, and there was nothing I could do.

"Deal with what?" Hermione said, leaning forward and looking confused.

"How do you not know what I'm talking about?" I snapped. I stood up as I couldn't sit any longer. Every single part of my body wanted to be away from every other part.

"Calm down, Kat," Hermione said, standing up. "It's okay. Why don't you just go lay down? That might help... when you wake up you won't have to wear it anymore."

I just nodded and walked to my room. I blew out the candle on the table cos the light made my eyes hurt. Everything was itchy, so I took out a vial of a calming drought. There was no way I would sleep without it.

It kicked in and I tried to focus on something, anything other than the locket... it was the epicenter of this anxiety.

The sound of rain falling was calming, luckily, and eventually I could fight no longer. Sleep was not much better than being awake. I had terrifying nightmares about my family getting hurt and being in danger. They were not what I needed right now.

"Why did you do this?" my dream father asked me. He was so sad. His hair was even grayer than it had been that day at the Ministry. "You disgraced us. It is your actions that have torn this family apart and now you will have to live with those consequences for the rest of your life."

Then a mysterious person who was out of the realm of my dream sent a spell that caused my father to fall over. Dead.

I woke up. Who wouldn't, after seeing their father killed? I was drenched in sweat, similar to a fever breaking, though the locket's hold on me had yet to subside. I knew it would take until I took it off for me to get any relief.

As I lay awake on the thin mattress, I had a lot of time to think. I needed to think, to distract myself from the dream I had. I couldn't think about the dream I had or I would surely go mad.

The fact that an inanimate object was causing such a reaction within me scared me. It was stronger than any potion that I knew how to make. I pulled out my journal, wanting to write down how I felt.

The scratching of the quill against paper and the smudging of ink against my fingers was what I needed. Rerouting thoughts to my fingertips, the pages were filled quickly. My normally neat hand writing was smudged and messy, the thoughts were coming out so rapidly.

What am I doing here? Why aren't I home with Dad? What is the point of this war? Why did I let them drag me here? I should be home. I shouldn't be here. I should still be with Adam and feel safe and not have to worry about where my next meal comes from. It's getting cold and I'm sick of them. I haven't ever felt this lonely in my life. I want a real bed and a hot shower, and to get away from these idiots who have no idea what they're doing and are going to get me killed in the process. Maybe that's what they want. Maybe it's just that easy. If I just offed myself...

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I couldn't think like that.

After another fitful few hours of sleep, Harry came in. "Kat, it's time for your watch," he said. "And I will take the locket."

I rolled out of bed and stood up. I followed him out into the main room before handing him the locket. As soon as I took it off, I felt a little lightheaded and decided to slump down into the couch. Overall, having gotten rid of the locket made me feel a thousand times better.

"How do you wear that without feeling so ...manic?" I asked him. Even though I was awake and grounded again, the nightmares I had still terrorized me.

"I mean, it gets to me too," he said, as if he was choosing his words slowly."but I try not to let it in... I've dealt with this stuff longer than you have. I've seen more..."

"Certainly," I said. "I'm not sure I even want to know what you've seen."

"I'm not sure I'd tell you," he replied.

While not sure what to make with the fact he wouldn't tell me if I did want to know, I knew he had the locket on. I remembered how I had felt shortly before... the words I had written in my diary. I could never tell them how I felt. There was a certain bit of pride that went with that. I was weak, and I admitted it, but I wasn't that weak.

He took wearing the locket remarkably well. Having never worn it before, I had no idea what to expect. He merely looked tired and possibly a little on edge.

"Did you have nightmares?" he asked, as if he had read my mind.

I nodded. "It was like dreaming a bogart... I saw my family destroyed..." I told him.

He nodded. "It plays your weakness," he said. "I haven't yet worn it while I sleep..."

I felt bad that his sleep would be plagued with dark dreams. A glance to my watch told me that by the end of my watch, the sun would be up and it would be a new day. "You should go to sleep then," I reminded him.

"Yeah I should," he said, nodding. "Night, Kat."

"Night," I said quietly.

~.~

Time passed in an odd way in the woods. Some days dragged on, and some days flew. I found that it usually was directly related to whether we had food or not and whether I was wearing the locket. If my stomach was full and I wasn't wearing the locket, it was a great day.

It was one night watch where I was pulling first watch when things greatly changed. Harry was staying up with me because he usually did. I wasn't sure if he didn't trust me or what, but truthfully, I loved the company. Neither of us was wearing the locket, and we had a dinner of fish that Harry and Ron had caught in the river nearby, so we were pretty well off.

He walked to his room, but not before a huge crack resounded throughout the forest. He turned around to look at me, as if he had to make sure he wasn't imagining it. "...what was that?"

We both drew our wands, just in case. It had sounded far away but we had no idea. I went to peer out the tent, but Harry pulled me back. "Stop," he said, quietly. He pulled something out of his pocket, and I recognized is as an Extendable Ear.

He threw the end of it outside the tent and we got down low to listen.

"Griphook, pass the salmon?" a voice I could not recognize asked.

"Goblins," Harry hissed.

From the entrance of the tent, we could smell salmon. Where did the salmon come from? It smelled delicious and my stomach growled even though I was more than full.

"Dean, do you want butterbeer?" a voice that was extremely familiar asked. It was such a shock to my system my heart skipped a beat. A knot of anxiety worked its way into my chest and down my stomach. I had a huge internal conflict over what my mind wanted, what my ears heard, and what my heart knew to be true. My brain tried to trump the rest. It couldn't be. There was no way it was who I thought it was... that was impossible.

Harry looked at me and I knew he thought it was the same person I did. "Is that...?" he asked, his voice trailing off. I could see the concern and shock in his eyes, and wanted to quell it. For both of us.

I shook my head. "No way," I said. "Not possible."

He shrugged and we went back to listening. The sound faded out for a few minutes as we heard the clunking of silverware against plates. I knew these people were eating but I wanted them to stop eating so I could reassure myself.

"Adam, pass me those plates please?"

Adam. I was hearing Adam.

My Adam.

Author's Note: Woo! An update that didn't take 2+ weeks! It's a little shorter than usual, I know, hopefully you'll forgive me because a lot happens! Also that is where I really wanted to end it... hope you guys don't mind. I'd like to welcome potter-reading-coastie back to my stories as my writing manager, woo! I think my writing will improve in both quality and frequency with him helping! Thanks everyone, let me know what you think.