I am here…
- Miss Shepherd, are you following us for makeup?
Amelia looks for my eyes and I nod in the following, the assistant of the show ahead of us.
We were for much of the day in a TV studio in Seattle, recording a variety show that was once done live… what do add an extra stress point, the right to error and the second take not allowed.
We arrive in the makeup room and we signal to Amelia to sit on a chair facing a mirror. Other people were already busy in the room and I recognize the host of the show that ran through his note while touching his foundation.
Amelia smiles slightly and settles: I post myself for myself a little behind to not annoy anyone.
A young woman then approaches Amelia, a big case in the hand, that she puts on the table.
- Hello Miss Shepherd. My name is Kelly and I will take care of your makeup if you want.
- Hello Kelly.
- This is your outfit for your appearance?
I notice Amelia take a look by reflex on herself before answering.
- Yes, indeed.
- I really like. This modern rock 'n' roll style suits you perfectly.
I use to be in the middle of showbiz and with the many and sluggish amiabilities that reigned there. But this makeup artist looked at Amelia with a sincere hint of admiration, which made me think that her compliment was not just an umpteenth mark of politeness…
- What do you want us to do?
- I would like something natural but quite glamorous… rather centered on my eyes, I would prefer to focus attention on my eyes.
- Okay… so I suggest you cover your eyes a dark slightly smoky, with a touch of mascara, and just a touch of gloss to make your lips sparkle… okay with you?
- Yes, perfect…
The makeup artist is working without further ado.
I redirect my attention to the comings and goings of the room, taking care to notice a little more precisely the people who would have to approach Amelia.
After a quarter of an hour, a man sits then on the cair to the right of Amelia obviously ready to also pass under the expert hands of a makeup artist.
He takes a quick look at Amelia and I notice that his smile grows instantly.
- It's my lucky day, Amelia Shepherd by my side…
Amelia slightly turns her head while the makeup artist applies some touches of blush on her cheeks, to discover this man who has just addressed her.
- Good evening Mark…
- I didn't know you were participating on this show…
- The same for you… are you coming for a new album?
- Yes, I present the first title tonight… I hope it will have the same success like yours, I could see that everything was going well for you…
- For now, it's going pretty well…
I watch the scene from my position back from the room while noticing the insistent look of this man on Amelia reviewing her from head to toe.
- You are always so pretty…
Amelia is settling to smile at him without replying anything to this compliment.
The look of this singer didn't please me… I almost had the impression to see a predator in front of me, gauging his future prey.
- Here Miss Shepherd, what do you think?
The makeup artist's sentence almost relieves me by announcing the imminent end of this exchange.
- I really like Kelly, thanks a lot.
- Thank you, and good show!
The makeup artist shifts and settles alongside the singer who had just exchanged a few words with Amelia.
- See you soon Mark! Launches Amelia while getting up from her chair.
- I hope to meet you backstage… otherwise, I hope very soon on a next show… or for any other occasion, my invitations always take…
Amelia quickly disappears from the room and I follow her immediately, bringing her back to her dressing room.
We find the empty room, Andrew and Richard probably left to spot the edge of the set.
The room is not the one we left more than an hour ago.
Gifts and flowers are indeed based on one of the two tables in the dressing room…
- Can you remind me of the time Owen, I didn't put a watch? Amelia asks me while heading to the table in question.
I take a look at my watch to give her the information she was waiting for.
- It's 8:30 pm… you will be in half an hour if the initial order of passage is respected.
- You read in my thoughts… she whispers me smiling.
The light of the room fully illuminates her face and I discovered the makeup that had just been made… and no doubt, on the fact, that her eyes stood out even more than usual…
Amelia looks at the three bouquets and the associated words when the door of the dressing room opens and reveals Richard and Andrew in full discussion.
- You did it 100 times this song, Andrew…
Amelia looks up to her two accomplices while tackling a big package she begins to unpack.
Andrew walks a few steps into the room, then stops suddenly looking at his interpreter a little more precisely.
- You are very pretty Amelia…
- She's always pretty, Andrew, resume Richard.
Amelia laughs lightly at this exchange, then lowers her eyes to the package she finally opens.
Her face then whitened and the lid of the package slips out of her hands, falling to the ground with a dull song.
Two big strides bring me to Amelia's side whose hands began to shake.
- Amelia, what is happening? Asks Richard, almost panicked.
I'm moving Amelia behind me while discovering what sparked this reaction.
A bouquet of faded black roses and faded white lilies rest in the package.
And a message with words of newspaper clippings as on previous messages.
« I loved these flowers just like you… it's your turn to suffer the same fate soon. »
Richard and Andrew are already in front of me and are also aware of the contents of the package.
I exchange a look with Richard where I detect a deep concern.
I turn back without delay to Amelia who sat a few steps.
I approach her, realizing that her hands are still shaking uncontrollably and that her eyes are shining with tears.
- Amelia, calm down…
- What does it mean? She asks in a small voice.
A silence is returned to her for the only answer.
She observes me then redirects her attention to her manager, who has his eyes down… as a sign revealing his guilt.
- What is happening here? Asks in turn, Andrew.
- Andrew, don't involve in that, will you? Responds firmly Richard at his side.
- To involve with what? Richard, you explain to me? You almost don't look surprised and Owen either?
- You shouldn't have learned it like that.
Amelia's eyes widen a little more while I guess she has understood everything… including my presence at her side, my requirements…
She looks up at me before speaking again.
- That's why you're here, right? Since when does it last?
I remain silent, not daring to reveal to her this painful secret…
- Since when does it last, Owen?
She repeats the question but in an affirmed tone and at the limit of the moan.
I perceived a silhouette moving in my field of vision, before recognizing a voice closer suddenly… Richard's voice.
- Don't blame Owen… it was my idea no to tell you everything…
- So that's it, it's not the first letter…
- No, it's not the first letter…
- How much Richard? How long?
Richard hesitates before his protégé, still reluctant to reveal the whole truth to her, then he finally gives in under the weight of her eyes.
- For four months…
- Did you hide it for four months? It's been four months since the letters of this kind arrive? But what were you waiting for? Exclaims Amelia suddenly getting up.
- I didn't want to annoy you, Amelia, you have so many beautiful and big projects in progress…
- You didn't have the right to hide that… I thought I could trust you… that you were the only one who would not disappoint me… not like…
Her voice goes out before she finishes her sentence.
Richard tries to take Amelia's hand but she refuses him this gesture with a reverse of her arm and walks to the table where the much-vaunted package is.
- Amelia, you should not…
She glances back to that lunatic threat and turns to me.
- Do you think he is serious? Am I risking my life?
- I think he is serious…
- And my second question, Owen?
I don't dare to confirm her fears, convinced that it was useless to make them more concrete with a few words.
- Amelia, you shouldn't do the show… after that, you're not in a position to face a live.
Andrew had just spoken after being content to attend this exchange and his intervention was surprising.
Amelia seems to consider his proposition as she looks at him, eyes a bit lost.
- Amelia, maybe that…
- Richard, I don't want to hear you… please… leave me… go back to production…
Richard throws a look full of regret to Amelia but she carefully avoids his eyes.
He lowers his shoulders as if to express his defeat and then leaves the room without a last attempt from Amelia.
I had trouble for Richard right now… I knew that the truth would be hard to make Amelia hear but the completely unexpected way that led to the revelation made things even more painful for both parts involved.
- Amelia, do you want me to bring you back?
Andrew stood with Amelia, a hand resting on her shoulder, whispering those words.
Amelia had a lost look: she seemed completely helpless.
- I can take care of talking to the people responsible for the show, they will understand…
- Andrew, I think it's up to Amelia to decide.
- There is nothing to decide! Did you see the letter?
- Yes, I saw the letter as you, I answer him as calmly as possible.
- So Amelia, come with me! He speaks again a little harder while grabbing the singer's arm.
- Andrew, stop! Leave me a few minutes, okay?
Her guitarist looks at her with big eyes, obviously surprised by the answer he had just received.
- Amelia, do not listen to them…
- Andrew, please, she whispers again.
Andrew sighs at her side give me a defiant look and leave the room, leaving me alone with Amelia.
Her eyes are lowered again on the contents of the package.
She stays motionless for a few moments.
I don't break that moment leaving her alone with her thoughts and questions.
Then she picks up the fallen cover and closes the damn package.
I see her perform long and deep breaths several times, eyes closed and then turn to me again.
- What would you do in my place? She asks me suddenly.
- I'm not in your place.
She laughs nervously while watching me.
- When will you clearly answer questions?
She smiles shyly but only a few seconds, a mask quickly resumed on her face.
- Don't be mad to Richard, he thought of doing well… he did it for your good…
- I know… it will take a little while to accept what happened… but I know that it started from a good intention on his part… did you see the other letters?
- Yes… but it's not the most important tonight…
She stepped back into the room and ended up sitting down on the chair she had left a few minutes earlier.
- And what is most important then?
- Your show… you came here to sing and you have to stay focused on it.
- Owen… I don't know…
I take the two steps necessary to find myself at her side and crouch in front of her.
- If you don't go, he will have won… this lunatic is trying to destabilize you, to weaken you… if you are not going to sing, you will only show him that he has won… and between us, we don't want him to win, right?
Her big eyes watch me while I'm only inching away from her face, squatting in front of her.
- Do you think he's here… in the audience?
I think about her question a few moments before giving her my opinion.
- I don't think that… in general, we don't receive these kinds of threats before they act, to surprise them, and create context more conducive to recklessness… so no, I don't think he's here or he's trying something tonight.
She lowers her eyes, watching her hands resting on her thighs and after a few seconds, I hear a faint sound or almost trembling echoing in the room.
- I'm scared…
Her hands are trembling slightly in front of me, of her misery and anguish: this crazy had succeeded if he managed to destabilize her thus and I had to do everything to prevent him from succeeding.
I spontaneously place a hand against one of her, a gesture that raises her head to find my eyes.
- I am here to protect you… you don't have to be afraid…
Her two blue eyes scrutinize me, looking for the slightest trace of doubt in my eyes.
- You have nothing to fear…
Her hand crunches slightly to tighten mine a little harder.
Then after a few seconds, her second-hand covers the back of mine, as if to imprison my contact against her as a slight smile ends up on her lips.
- I have nothing to fear because you are here, she repeats as if to convince herself.
I smile back while getting up and bringing her back with me.
We stay in our eyes, hands clasped as if she wanted to find the strength she needed in me.
- Amelia, it's yours in five minutes, what are we doing?
The opening of the door, associated with Andrew's voice, brings us back to the present and our hands leave each other instantly… but Andrew still looks at us with surprise…
- We're going, answers Amelia with a confident voice.
She turns a few moments in the mirror in the room to check her appearance, then faces us again.
- The show must go on, she said before walking towards the exit of the dressing room.
Andrew looks at her with big eyes but doesn't reply, not trying to make her change her mind.
Amelia goes behind the backstage towards the set and I am on her side, one hand in the back, to guide her.
The hundreds of meters separating us from the stage are done in silence, Amelia concentrated and Andrew silent behind us.
The brouhaha of the set is more accurate to our ears and arrived at the edge of the back of the stage, an assistant welcomes us.
- Miss Shepherd, you have a tripod microphone as you requested. Your guitarist is set up off the field of vision when the host starts your announcement, okay? It's up to you in two minutes!
Amelia smiles at the assistant and nods, while the man looks at me strangely.
- It is my bodyguard, he stays here…
- Okay, fine, answers the assistant redirecting his attention to the program.
After only thirty seconds, he makes a sign to Andrew who hastens to join the set to put on his guitar and settle on the stool that was prepared for him.
Amelia, on my left, is breathing deeply and coming very lightly in front of me… waiting for the signal.
We follow the announcement of the host and the count of the entry of Amelia is listing by the assistant right in front of us…
I concentrate, ready to monitor all the details of Amelia's performance and the least suspicious activity.
She remains impassive, from behind, facing me, her gaze fixed on the stage.
But a sensation suddenly surprises me.
An arm extending towards me.
A skin that brushes past on mine.
Then fingers looking for me.
And a hand that finds me.
As a silent request that I reassure her one last time.
I squeeze her little hand slightly back.
And I repeat three words she expects.
Three words whispered in her ear.
Her hand leaves me and she finds the light and the scene… admirably forgetting her fears during the four minutes that follow.
Demonstrating that whatever happens, this madman will not win and will not deprive her of her passion.