"Adam," Harry said slowly, I could tell from his face he was uncomfortable. "Well... this is a surprise."
I took a deep breath before standing up. I had to see him. I didn't care how we had left it a few months ago, everything was different now. I couldn't wait to set my eyes on him and have his arms around me and see if he knew anything about my family.
Harry grabbed my arm. "Wait a minute! Don't leave the tent!" he hissed.
"What?" I asked, pulling away from him. I didn't like the way he grabbed me. "Get your hands off of me!"
"I think it could be some sort of trap," he said. "You really think it's a good idea to go out there right now? You have no idea who is really out there. Adam may not even be out there... you don't knowwhatis really out there. Stay here, Kat."
I shoved away from him. "He is so close to me. I know this isn't a trap."
"Please Kat, I have a bad feeling about this and I think you're letting your emotions get in the way of a level head," he said, his voice quick. I didn't want to stop to take a second to evaluate if there was any truth in his statements. I just wanted to go and see Adam. "Now stay inside. I'll take your watch from you. Go back to sleep."
"I am not being dismissed that easily," I told him. "You're just jealous that it's my ex out there instead of yours! Now excuse me."
He reeled back as if I had struck him at that comment.
"If you go out there, don't come back," he said, half turning away from me. His tone was standoffish, but not completely. He did sound a little apprehensive.
What a decision that was. I could go out there. This was my chance to leave! Something I had half-wanted for as long as I could remember... I could go out there and find Adam. I would feel safe with Adam, I knew. There was just a level of comfort with Adam that Harry, Ron and Hermione lacked. I stood in front of him for what felt like forever, contemplating whether to stay or go. I couldn't meet his eyes... I didn't want to be influenced by him.
This would be my only chance to get out. If I didn't do it now, I would be stuck out here forever. I faced a terrifying future... death seemed like a strong possibility... injury was near certain at some point. I had no idea when I would get a hot shower or a meal that wasn't cooked over a fire.
But at the same time... I knew most of what was going on here. I knew what the status quo was here and what we were doing. I had no idea who Adam was with or where he was going. Why was he even on the run? He was a pure-blood. Therewas a back story there, and perhaps I wouldn't like it. I would be leaving what I did know for what I used to know... and that was a risk.
"Well?" Harry asked.
I focused on the ground at his feet, still unable to meet his eyes. Leaving was more than just leaving... leaving implied coming back or departing with a good reason. I was going to abandon them. Was I really that type of friend? I didn't like to think so.
Plus, if I walked out the tent and left them, I wouldn't know if they were safe. Of course, I wouldn't know if Adam was safe either, but it came down to choosing whose safety I valued more.
Harry looked into my eyes, "I know this is hard Kat, but Dumbledore once told me something and I think you need to hear it. He told me, 'Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, that we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.' You have to make a decision Kat."
I knew that if I left, then that would be as good as giving up on the fight against Voldemort. I knew my choice would affect more than just myself and Harry. I'd be letting Ron and Hermione down as well.
I looked up at Harry and took a deep breath. "I will stay."
"Good," he said. He got down on the floor again, as if nothing had just happened. Perhaps he thought I wasn't serious about actually leaving.
I paused for a moment, but decided just to let it go. It was not important, really, so I got down on his level.
"Listen," he said.
The Extendable Ears were slightly out of tune, so he adjusted them. I could hear Adam's voice again and it caused so many emotions to rise. He was everything I knew and I missed him, that was for sure. He had been a huge part of my life for so long and even though we had our rough times, I longed for his company. I sighed.
I could feel Harry's eyes on me for a second. I wondered if he thought I was regretful of my decision to stay. I was not.
"So, Adam, what is a pure-blood like you doing out here on the run?" a voice I did not recognize asked him.
"It's kind of a long story..." he trailed off.
"Mate, we got nothing but time out here, so start talking," a voice prompted.
"Okay," he said. I could hear him clear his throat. I wondered what he could possibly say... my heart beat wildly in anticipation.
"You all know Katherine Hammond?" he asked. "Was a year behind me at school... in the same year as Harry Potter, in fact."
"She's been labelled as a runaway in the news, hasn't she?" someone asked.
I looked at Harry. Why did these people know me? That freaked me out.
"Yeah, runaway. Right. Well, she was my girlfriend for... oh, a year and a half, or so," Adam sighed.
"What's this got to do with how you're on the run?"
"I'm getting there," Adam said. I could tell from the tone of his voice, he was a little on edge. "Around... oh, three months ago, now, she showed up in my room in the middle of the night, and broke up with me suddenly. She wouldn't admit it, but I know that she was running off with Potter."
"A bit butt hurt over that, eh?" one of the voices, an older voice, asked.
"Maybe," he said.
I had never really considered if Adam was hurt. Wow. I had been so selfish all this time. I knew he had let our relationship slip in his priorities a lot before it had ended, but I never put myself in his shoes. Was he missing me like I longed for him? I hoped he was okay.
"Anyways," Adam continued. "So she went on the run. Her dad's a pretty influential man at the Ministry, and a pure-blood. However, he's married to a Muggle woman. He publicly divorced her, but I'm not sure how real that is behind the scenes. All of a sudden, I started getting followed. Then, a Death Eater showed up at my flat one night, just wanting to chat about Kat."
I had put Adam into danger. I could feel Harry looking at me, and I hid my face in my arms.
"It's not your fault," Harry said, quietly. "Kat, you know that, right?"
I didn't answer him.
"Obviously, having a Death Eater in my flat freaked me out a lot, but I just told them the truth. I had absolutely no idea where she was or what she was doing," he said. "So I went to talk to Kat's father. He was just about to go into hiding, he told me I should do the same. Her older brother is still out there, but he's working with the Aurors, so I'd wager that he will be okay through it. Heard a rumor he got married, but I dunno how true that is. Information's distorted now, isn't it?"
My heart sped up, and I was so grateful. It sounded like Dad and Rob were okay. I didn't know what happened to Vera, I wasn't so concerned about her or her daughters. I just wanted to know that Dad and Rob were safe and sound. I wondered if Rob had gotten married. It didn't seem like something he would do, though I had no idea.
"So where is she now, do you think?"
The thickest silence fell between Harry and I as we waited to hear what he would say.
"Out there, somewhere, I suppose. I don't doubt she's with Potter... they may or may not have had something going on last year, I'm not entirely convinced she was faithful to me, but whatever," he said.
"What bullocks," I said. "That's so not true, he has no reason to suspect that at all! I'm so sorry."
He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Kat. We both know it isn't true."
"So maybe she's holed up in a flat somewhere, all lovely like with him, or perhaps they're out fighting Voldemort-"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
There was a huge commotion outside. I could hear men screaming some maniacal laughter. It sounded like they were being attacked.
I stood up. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I could hear Adam screaming. I walked to the door of the tent and saw fire at the bottom or the field. They were so close.
I needed to help.
Harry was right behind me, though, and he wasn't letting me go anywhere. I struggled against his grasp.
"Let go of me," I said, trying to gain some leverage. I couldn't find his weak spot, his grip on me was far too tight.
I started to scream, thinking that might get him off of me. I couldn't just stand here and listen to Adam be attacked. I couldn't do it. His mouth clamped over my mouth, so I bit him.
"Ow!" he said, loosening my grip. Ron came out of his and Harry's bedroom.
"Wassgoin'on?" he asked, hardly awake. He had his wand in his hand, but didn't seem like he was going to use it.
"You bit me!" Harry said, holding his hand.
Ron turned his head. "Am I interrupting something...?" he asked. "Bloody hell, what's going on out there?"
"There was a group of runaways that got attacked by Snatchers," Harry said.
I had tears in my eyes and could feel more coming. Considering the blaze in front of me, I couldn't see how Adam had survived. It didn't seem possible.
I was the reason Adam was dead.
"Let go of me!" I said. "Let go, please just let go."
"Harry?" Ron asked, looking at us, confused. "I think you should let go of Kat."
"She'll go out there and do something stupid," he said.
"If Ginny was out there, you would have gone out and saved her," I said. I didn't even know if he could understand me. It didn't matter. I was so upset, I felt everything going fuzzy.
"Ginny?" Ron asked, looking outside. The fire had begun to die down. No one was left out there, at least not alive. I had so many questions to ask... but I couldn't.
Harry shook his head.
"Let her go," Ron said.
Harry did, and I took a step out of the tent to watch the flames. I could hear Harry explaining what had just happened to Ron, and it made me so sick. I was the cause of all of this. And there wasn't a thing I could do. Tears dripped down the slope of my cheeks, and fell onto the ground.
"Kat?" Harry asked.
I didn't even want to acknowledge him. He came up behind me, but I was not looking at him. I just couldn't even do it right now.
"Kat?" he asked again.
"Go away," I told him. "I don't want to talk to you."
"I really think we should talk, though," he said. He put his hand on my shoulder and I turned around to hit him.
"Leave me alone," I said.
I walked into the tent and into my room. I crawled into the bottom bunk, put up a silencing charm, and cried.
I should have been better prepared for this. I knew that we were doing dangerous stuff out here, and I should have known I would have lost someone. I had never really lost someone before. Well, my mum had died when I was very young, but I didn't remember her, so it hadn't affected me so much.
Before today, I thought that as long as my family was okay, I was okay. I was so so wrong.
This was my loss of innocence, that was for sure. So tonight, I would weep and mourn everything that had disappeared before me tonight. Weep for the loss of the easiness of my relationship with Adam, our innocence. There was no possibility that we would get back together any more. We would never get the flat I dreamed about in Diagon Alley. I would never see him play a professional Quidditch match. There were so many things that would definitely not happen anymore.
And for that, I wept.
Author's Note: So I know I missed the deadline of the first for this, buuuut I was busy! SATs and buying a car and such. Anyways. This chapter is a big one, I think, and some of you all probably won't be so happy with me for what I've done. I promise, happy stuff is coming! Thanks to potter-reading-coastie for helping me out with the first part of the chapter, that definitely helped! Let me know what you think!