I grabbed the bag I had yet to unpack from under my bunk. I was in such a haze, not clearly woken up, but I knew that I was close to going back to civilization and that feltgreat.
I couldn't meet Harry and Hermione's eyes as I walked past them. I didn't even say goodbye because I couldn't. If I did, I probably wouldn't go and right now, I felt the need to get out of here.
I followed Ron out of the tent. It was dark, and I nearly stumbled over the rocks, but I followed him. It seemed we were going far away to apparate. I could hardly see the tent from where we were, though I knew that was probably what Ron wanted.
"Ready?" he asked.
I nodded. I looked back up the hill towards the tent. Out of the darkness, I could see the shadow of Harry standing in the doorway of the tent. His shoulders were slumped and he just looked so completely defeated. I pursed my lips.
I hated knowing that I was the one who caused him to look that defeated. This wasn't fair to him. I did like Harry- I liked him a lot, in fact, and I was abandoning him when he needed me. It was time to snap out of this for sure.
I looked at Ron and then back to Harry.
Harry's words echoed in my mind...
'I know this is hard Kat, but Dumbledore once told me something and I think you need to hear it. He told me, 'Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, that we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.'
I was picking the easy way out... that was for sure. For the first time, I felt terrible. I was such a weak person. I needed to pick what is right this time. I told Harry a long time ago I was okay with being here and I needed to be good on my word.
"I'm sorry," I said to Ron. But it was too late, he already apparated away. I sighed now, feeling a bit like I was in no man's land. I would have to go apologize to Harry now.
I actually didn't mind that much. I hoped he would accept my apologies, and maybe things would be better between us. Right now, I needed things to be better. I would be a much stronger person that way. Surely, Harry would forgive me for the moment of weakness.
...Besides, I countered, Harry and Hermione would starve without me.
Harry's Point of View:
I watched them disappear into the darkness outside of the tent. It was really hard to watch them walk away. I glanced at Hermione to see her face dissolving into tears. She got up and went into her and Kat's- actually, now it was just her bedroom. I stood in the entrance of the tent, completely alone.
There was just enough light shining down from the moon that I could see they had stopped moving. Here was the big moment. Kat turned to look at me before she apparated. I had really hoped she wouldn't go through with it, I wanted to clear the air between us. My intense disappointment sort of reverberated throughout the doorway of the tent.
It was harder than I expected to be without them, even for just a few moments. I would miss Ron. We had been through so much together that I couldn't imagine doing anything without him. I hoped he would come back...
And Kat. I had put her through so much the past few months. Her leaving was justified... she had no idea what she was doing out here and I was terrible at being the leader she needed. She deserved to go find somewhere she could get a warm meal and a hot shower and a real bed. I felt bad about the Adam situation, and now I couldn't even properly apologize. It was easier to be sympathetic when my stomach was full and I didn't have the locket on. She had been right the whole time...
I shook my head, realizing I was staring into nothing. I was ready to turn when I saw something move out of the darkness. I immediately drew my wand, but only saw Kat coming out of the darkness.
I wassoconfused. I thought I had just seen her apparate away. She just looked sheepish and a little dirty, as though she had tripped on the way back up.
"Kat?" I asked quietly.
She nodded, stepping in to the tent sheepishly. "I couldn't go," she said. "It would be the easy thing... and you told me to make the right choice."
She had been listening when I told her what Dumbledore had told me. I didn't think she had, which made me smile a little. I nodded. "It's... it's all right, Kat. Come inside."
"I'm sorry, Harry," she said. "I really am. I haven't been good at this at all and I've got the wrong priorities and I'm just a mess and I'm sorry. I won't let it get in the way anymore."
"It's okay," I managed. She stepped forward to hug me and I accepted it, letting my arms fall around her waist. I let out a breath I was not aware I was holding. In reality, I was so happy that she was here.
"I'm sorry," she said. I could hear the tears in her voice and her grip on my shoulders got tighter.
She was going to cry. Ihatedcrying girls. "It's really all right, Kat," I said.
She nodded. "I know. I'm sorry," she said. She pulled away and wiped her tears and she looked better. "Sorry, just a lot going on right now."
I moved to the couch and she sat down next to me. In the light, it was easy to see just how tired she was. I was sure I looked just as tired. It had been a crazy couple of days.
"I'll be better," she said. "I don't know how. But just tell me what I can do to be better and I'll do it."
"You're fine," I told her. "I promise. I'll be better at things too."
We sat there for a few moments in awkwardness before I said "I'm glad you came back, Kat."
She looked over to me, "Yeah?"
"Yes, I think I would have starved without you."
Suddenly, she was laughing and all the awkwardness was gone for a moment.
"You know, that was one of the reasons I came back."
I couldn't help but chuckle at that too.
She yawned and laid her head on the back of the couch.
I could see she was falling asleep next to me. "Go to sleep, Kat," I said, quietly.
She shook her head and opened her eyes wide. "I'm fine. And it's my watch. You go to sleep," she said.
I knew that there was no way she could manage to stay awake for the next four hours. I could make it, though. "I'll take it from you," I told her.
"That's fine, but I'm going to stay up with you," she said.
I didn't know if she was just trying to prove herself or something, but I didn't mind her company. I knew she wouldn't stay awake long anyways. After thinking I had lost her earlier, I was so glad to have her around.
"What made you change your mind?" I asked. "Really?"
She opened her drooping eyes. "I told you," she said. "I'm manning up."
I chuckled. "Sleep well, Kat," I said.
"I told you, I'm staying awake," she said. "I'm just resting my eyes."
"Right," I said. I watched as her eyes shut and her breathing got deep and slow. Her face while asleep was a lot calmer than when she was awake. Her brows weren't furrowed and her lips weren't pursed. Poor Kat. She had not deserved this.
I noticed her arms were covered in goose bumps, so I grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and threw it across her. I must have woken her up, as she moved closer to me so that she rested her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her.
It was nice to feel her warm body against mine. It was a comfort that went overlooked out here.
The warmth and relief and food and my stomach made me drowsy. But I had to stay awake. There were only a few more hours until the sun would be up. Hermione would be awake then, and maybe I could catch a few hours sleep. Tomorrow would be an interesting day. Without Ron here, there would be some reshuffling of the chores. Not that he did much, but our night watches would be longer. Wearing the locket would become an every day thing, instead of every other day. It was going to wear us down.
I sighed and tried to stay awake...
At some point, however, I must have let my guard down and fallen asleep. Two jabs to the shoulder pulled me out of my sleep.
I only jumped slightly, my hand going to my wand. Upon opening my eyes, I found Hermione standing over me, her arms crossed.
"I thought she left?" she asked, pointing towards Kat.
"She changed her mind," I told her. "She came back."
"Are you sure it's really Kat?" she asked, skeptical.
"Well, I have no reason to believe it isn't really Kat," I explained. "She never actually apparated away."
She sighed. "No sign of Ron?"
I just shook my head. She nodded her head curtly. "Well," she sighed. I could see that she was very upset about Ron by the way she had nothing to say. Her mouth was open like she was about to say something... but it got stuck between her brain and her mouth.
"I'll take the locket from you," I told her.
She gave it to me. Because I moved to accept it, Kat woke up. "Hmm," she said, blinking and rubbing at her eyes. "I fell asleep on you."
Kat's Point of View
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I could tell I woke up during a tense moment. Hermione looked exhausted and agitated.
"Sorry," I said to Harry, rubbing his arm where I had rested my head. I wasn't really embarrassed about falling asleep there, but the way Hermione looked at me I could tell she was upset with me.
"You came back?" she asked me.
I nodded. "I never really left," I told her. "I just... I had a moment of weakness. I thought about a warm shower and a real meal and I was tired and I wanted that more than this. I only got down the hill before realizing I couldn't leave. I'm committed to this now."
"You let him leave?" she asked me.
I was a little surprised by the malice in her voice, especially because I noticed she wasn't wearing the locket any more.
"I..." I trailed off. It wasn't exactly something I could help. He was determined. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
"Maybe he will come back?" Harry asked. "We can stay here for a bit. He just needed to cool down."
"He isn't coming back and you know it," she said. I saw her eyes go glassy and I knew she was about to cry.
I stood up, wanting to give her a hug, but she turned around and went back into our room. She just needed her space, so I sat back down on the couch. I looked at Harry.
"She's happy you're here, I promise," he said.
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Right," I said, shaking my head. "She sounds real happy."
"She's upset Ron is gone and you know it," he said, dismissing my sarcasm. "Can we make tea?"
I nodded and got to it.
~.~
Things were better for us as a group in the time after Ron left. Harry and I were getting on great. Hermione eventually came around and apologized, but she was still a little off. I was afraid she would storm out most nights. She was just so sad about Ron leaving and I didn't really know what to do about it. I knew that Harry was upset too, though he wouldn't admit it.
We stayed in the same spot for a long time. Judging by the dates in my journal as I wrote in it, it was going on a month that we were there. I tried to write in my journal every day, but it seemed that while we stayed in the same spot, there wasn't much to talk about. I still wanted to log it, though. Maybe if we ever got out of here, it would be a good read.
In that month, winter approached quickly. It went from needing a sweatshirt at night, to needing a sweatshirt at all times, to not wanting to go outside at all. Snow covered the ground. That made it harder to get food, but luckily I still had some saved up. I just wasn't sure how long it would last.
Harry and I ended up spending a lot more time together. We couldn't go outside and Hermione wasn't always very fun to talk to. I seriously enjoyed his company, though. He understood me well and I was glad our friendship had been salvaged after the Adam incident. While I still didn't agree with him on some things, we found a middle ground.
I was lying on the couch one night keeping watch while he fiddled with the radio next to me. He had taken an interest in the radio a lot recently, though I didn't understand it much.
Finally, through the crackling static, I heard a voice.
"ThishasbeenanothergreatbroadcastofPotterwatch.Wedon'tknowwhenitwillbepossibletobroadcastagain,butyoucanbesurewewillbeback.Keeptwiddlingthosedials:thenextpasswordwillbe'Wulfric'.Keepeachothersafe.Keepfaith.Goodnight."
I sat straight up and looked at Harry. That voice was very familiar. It was Adam.
Author's Note: Wow, so many comments on the last chapter! Thank you all SO much, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Can we have a repeat? I would wager you have a lot to say for this chapter as well! ^.^ Thanks to potter-reading-coastie, for betaing. Let me know what you think :)