Notes:

Bless this site for having much simpler document editing than AO3's. So, yeah. Here's the second chapter that I finished around a day later. Much more manageable chapter sizes, so it should be a breeze to get through all of this. This is probably the only time you're ever going to see me post 2 chapters in 1 day.

As an aside, I am largely leaving the message portions of the story dialogue-only until there's a break in the main segment. I sort of designed it that way on purpose so you can imagine what kinds of gestures or movements Peridot's making in these testimonies. Besides, I think it'd break up the structure to this little series something fierce. Have fun reading the headcanon bits!

When Pearl entered her room, her first course of action was to set aside the bubbled pallid gem Garnet had given her to research. She had no idea Peridot had the foresight to send them so many prior to the final battle, and she couldn't help but admit it was quite admirable and a very sensible decision. When Peridot explained the odd bleaching effect of the gems by White Diamond's hand, it seemed so hopeless. It was a far worse fate than corruption; no one knew if it would be possible to save the consciousness of the individual affected gems after White had heartlessly supplanted them with her own, with no regard to the side effects.

Now that Pearl had all the samples of the disease she could ever need, she felt much more optimistic about possibly undoing the seemingly irreparable damage White Diamond had done to her citizens and planet. Pearl could already picture it in her mind; a colorless, desolate planet devoid of gems with any agency to their lives whatsoever. She didn't think Homeworld could lack more of a soul when she first arrived with Steven and the others… only now did she realize it could have been so much worse, and now it officially was.

To her, many details of the team's current situation seemed more obvious than others perceived it. Perhaps it was due to her extensive time as an attendant to a Diamond – albeit a stark contrast to how she'd known other the other Diamonds to be if Pink's testimonies were anything to go by. It still stunned Pearl that Blue Diamond actually sacrificed her life for the sake of Steven and his friends. Granted, if any Diamond beyond Pink would defy their very own nature, Blue no doubt would have been the first to do so. Her emotional state could make her so unpredictable at times, and though Pearl didn't know what it was Steven said to her that made her side with Pink over Yellow and White, she almost had hope that perhaps the Diamonds could be reasoned with.

But it was too late to hope for that now. White wiped them out, and it made Pearl sick just thinking of what it must have looked like for White Diamond to devour two of her own kind. She figured by doing this, White Diamond's power skyrocketed beyond its already top-tier level, as she technically carried the latent abilities of each Diamond. That meant Pink was the only one left standing, and even that wasn't accurate because Pearl had to constantly beat it into her head that Steven was not Pink Diamond; not Rose Quartz. He carried her will, but he was his own person and certainly had no intention of filling in the role Pink left behind. Still, the Diamond Authority, over the course of less than a single Earth day, crumbled to where all that remained was a Diamond who wouldn't assume her role, and a maniacal tyrant who probably thought herself to be well above and beyond that order.

Pearl wondered what would become of Homeworld if, by some miraculous chance, they save it. It would no doubt require ridding the world of White Diamond. After the atrocities committed in her name and her obvious lack of remorse for said atrocities. Steven's "peace, love, and family" approach could only go so far… that attitude wouldn't last long if White continued to slaughter every living being in sight as Steven tries to talk her out of it in vain, claiming to be a guardian for all living things… while he fails to save all the living things being assimilated into White and condemned to purgatory.

She had to be eliminated… somehow. White Diamond was just too dangerous to keep alive. Pearl dreaded the moment she would have to convince Steven of this – he likely was the only one who had the power to finish the job. With her destruction, every sentient soul she sucked into her being would also be lost. Pearl cringed thinking of the ramifications. And again… how would Homeworld function as an empire with no emperors? It would certainly be best not to re-use the same template of the Diamond Authority – at the same time, who would everyone answer to? Then again, Homeworld itself looked like it was on death's door compared to how it looked when she was there last. Peridot wasn't kidding about why the Era 2s were inherently inferior gems; Homeworld itself stood on a mere skeleton of what it used to be. It couldn't afford to make another single gem from its crust; Peridot may very well have been among the last set of gems ever created on Homeworld.

Considering how bleak and brittle the planet looked before everything with White Diamond went down… Pearl doubted Homeworld could sustain itself as a habitable planet for much longer, even if White Diamond was eliminated optimally. Where would that leave the Homeworld gems that survive this? Well, there were plenty of other colonies… albeit Diamond-governed, which would probably create a chaotic state of total anarchy on multiple planets once they got the news. Earth would be a sanctuary much as it had been for every Crystal Gem who landed here one way or another, but could Earth handle so many at once?

These were the kinds of questions Pearl tortured herself with… not only because they were valid concerns, but it also took her mind off Peridot.

Pearl strongly believed there was a greater chance of Peridot still being alive than dead right now. She knew fully well that Steven was White's target during the ambush and battle; the rest of them were of little to no concern. And now, White Diamond had the perfect bait to lure her Pink Diamond back to the trap. She was certain if Peridot was alive, she was well on her way to becoming pallid or broken both physically and psychologically. Pearl bet more on the latter; if Peridot was infected with this disease, her worth as a hostage dropped to nearly nothing. The good part about Peridot having only minimal powers and abilities was that it meant she couldn't be an effective obstacle if White decided to control Peridot's body to fight her friends. Not unless White altered her somehow… that was too terrifying to think about. The possibilities were endless.

Once the Crystal Gems would reconvene, Pearl decided to bring these matters up. She would prefer to first discuss it with just a few senior members, such as Garnet and Bismuth, so as not to rile up the others…

But Pearl finally realized she wasn't utilizing her free time very well. All of these thoughts and feelings needed to be saved for tomorrow. Right now, Pearl wanted to hear what Peridot has to say to her directly. If Garnet could find a way to have a good time with it, perhaps it wouldn't be as depressing as she expected it to be.

She pulled out her phone and accessed the file. She turned the phone to the side, rested it against the corner, then rested nearby as her upper body leaned into the floor so she could take a closer look at the impish little gem and her "final words". Perhaps Garnet was right about it containing valuable information for rescuing their rescuer.

The scenery showed Peridot inside the house. It was nighttime, like in Garnet's video, and she was lounging boredly on the couches downstairs.

"… Log Date: TTC 23 hours…

Salutations, Pearl. You know if you're seeing this right now, it means I'm dead, right? I just want all my bases covered. Unlike Garnet, I can't tell when my demise will be… but I feel it coming, nonetheless. I'm not nearly as scared of his mission as I should be, and you're all too important to just… ignore when you really need help. But logically, I should be terrified. I should still be listed as a wanted fugitive on Homeworld, and… it'll be dangerous for me there. At least I'll have Lapis and Bismuth backing me up, but I'll admit one thing that is getting me shaken up is… leading the team. I bet you never would have guessed I'm heading this operation, huh? They weren't doing anything before I reformed even though they had gotten Steven's SOS a while ago. And naturally, since we don't have Diamonds escorting us unlike your group, it falls on me to lead when we get to Homeworld. Bismuth and Lapis don't recognize the place… it's just process of elimination; I had to be the navigator. Tour guide. Whatever.

As I speak, Bismuth's in her forge smelting the pieces of the ship we need. I insisted Lapis to train with a limited water supply, since Homeworld's natural reserves dried up a long, long time ago. You probably noticed that when you arrived, I'm sure.

But… enough about what we're doing to save you clods. I'm making this for you specifically, Pearl. In the event that I perish before rescuing you, I wanted to take this chance to… tell you everything I wanted to tell you. That way, you can peacefully move on with your life with no uncertainties or concerns. I really don't want to be another Rose in that context, Pearl.

Speaking of… I was totally right about you being a fancy Pearl, now wasn't I? Of course you belonged to a Diamond all along… even though said Diamond is gone now and all that remains of her are that gem and Steven. I didn't know Diamonds had the power to force their Pearls into an NDA – a non-disclosure agreement – but it does sound like something a Diamond can and would do. To be honest, I'm not inclined to give you flak over that whole Rose-being-Pink-Diamond debacle. True, it's really turned things around on us, but… I dunno. I didn't really live through any of this unlike the rest of you. Era 2 propaganda on Homeworld ensured I would never know about it. I didn't even know who or what the Crystal Gems were until that first time I met you. Being so… detached, removed from all those events… I guess it makes sense that I see no reason to be hard on any of you. Though I will say I stand by my original statement when we were on the Moon Base: Rose just delayed the inevitable and by no means saved the Earth. The fact that she was a Diamond who really could have put a stop to this… it's like, wow. Sometimes the truth just sucks to accept, doesn't it?

I suppose I'm being overly insensitive right now; I apologize for that, Pearl. There's been… a particular hang-up I've had about you since we started getting to know each other at the barn, when we were just beginning to design the drill. It's… sort of a sensitive thing for both of us. There was never a good time to bring it up, and… while I dread doing so now… I guess it's now or never.

I'm sure you remember how I treated you like a servant, since that's what a Pearl's primary function is. And that's all I really knew about them… aside from Yellow Pearl, my manager. Actually, just think about what I said there. I messed around with you talking about a Peridot owning a Pearl, how your type was the lowest of the low and couldn't be anything but indentured servants…

… I was trying to cover up for my own insecurities at your expense. Because I had a Pearl as my direct superior the entire time. A Pearl owned by a Diamond, granted, but the point stands. You were once in that role yourself. Pearls aren't meant for everyone; only the most refined and elite of the Homeworld upper-class can "own" one. And I'm not gonna pretend like it wasn't hard for you all, but… at least there was some air of dignity; of majesty with you Pearls. You were always surrounded by great and influential gems and could live out that grandiose lifestyle vicariously through them. You're no exception. Your kind also hold something of a high authority by acting on behalf of your owner; your type is quite invaluable to the 1%. As far as I've seen, the Pearls used for that purpose are respected figures in Homeworld. Oh, and I shouldn't forget to mention that the Pearls owned by the Diamonds… I happened to learn oh-so long ago that if you poof one of them, you can use their gemstone as an all-access pass throughout Homeworld. And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna try for. I only wish my kind could have such a broad range of utility. You see…

The truth is, Peridots are and always have been the rock bottom of the Homeworld caste system. There's more of us than any other kind, since Homeworld needs that many technicians on hand to make sure everything is consistently maintained. And we're… I recently realized, the Homeworld equivalent to Earth's lowest class. We are the metaphorical fast food attendants. The janitors. The garbage humans. The immigrants who take the jobs the natives won't do, such as plowing the fields…

…

I guess I've been doing that, too. The nature of my status followed me all the way to Earth. So, yeah. I've been beneath you, lying to myself that it was the other way around. Not to mention you're far more of an asset in battle than I could ever hope to be. I suppose you should be the icon for Pearls everywhere to follow: you got past your primary function and became something… well, bigger. I like to think that's sort of happened to me as well, but obviously not to your extent. I envy your ability to hold your own in battle, and at the same time rival me in the technical department. I-I'm never going to say you were better. I won that fight, you know! My robot was better! It's just… it's just too much for me to even humor the idea that a Pearl can out-do me in the job I was literally created for. Even you. I earned my mission here because I had consistent high marks on each task I performed and invented some new ways to permanently improve Homeworld's productivity. That's a lot of Peridots I had to out-perform just to get Yellow Diamond to notice me, you know? To get past all of them, only to come to Earth and get shown up by you? I mean… it's nothing against you personally. If anyone had your mechanical aptitude, I'd be feeling like this.

I… did like collaborating with you at the same time. I don't know how that even makes sense, but it was… I guess, nice to have a kindred spirit in that department. They aren't easy to come by on Earth; at least not to our level of expertise. And… though I think you overreact to things a lot, I appreciate how you've been looking after Steven. I'm still trying to understand this "family" concept from that kind of standpoint. By that, I mean… I usually don't let myself think about what it would be like, to have maternal and paternal units. Ruby and Sapphire's wedding – you know I had no idea what that was until I was invited, right? So now I have to decipher the meaning of a "spouse" and how… I don't know, they enrich your lives? I need to stop thinking about that, honestly. It's not something that will ever be a factor in my life, and I say that because of the way things presently are as you watch this. That's definitely why it's impossible; not that he'd ever want me as some eternal companion or whatever! Th-that's not what I'm meant for. I'm still… I'm still learning what I'm meant for here. What I mean to all of you. I guess it's not relevant for you now… I just hope you didn't see me as a total nuisance. Or a burden. Since I officially came on board, all I've ever wanted to do was to be of use. Steven's been telling me to stop talking like that… he insists this life is nothing like what I had before, as if I don't already know that. Pearl, is that way of thinking just so heavily ingrained in our geological makeup given our classes, that we just reflexively say things like that? … I keep asking questions I won't get answers for until it's too late…

Pearl. You strike me as the kind who would think of a bunch of ways how or why I might still be alive if you never saw me get struck down. Maybe, by some stroke of dumb luck, I am, and I was therefore a stupid, idiotic clod for making these in the first place. But even though your current visit there is the first in a very long time and you probably don't even recognize it… I mean, Lapis sure didn't… I feel you know a lot about how the law works there. The nature of high society. You know how unforgiving our native society is, Pearl. How ruthless, how sadistic, how petty they can be for the slightest misdemeanor.

I'm bringing this up because you shouldn't try and save me. I guess you feel indebted or whatever, if my rescue effort was a complete success without me. But Pearl, don't risk it. Don't let Steven walk right back into the trap I freed him from. The worst thing you all could do is get captured again because you tried to save me. Just… live your lives. You did it for thousands of years without me, didn't you? Surely you can keep that up for thousands more to come.

I've done a crappy job of expressing it, but I'm glad to have met you, Pearl. And I'm sorry we haven't had the opportunity to talk more. I should have been there as a neutral party to support you after that whole Rose-is-Pink-Diamond fiasco… there can't be many on the team who don't feel strongly about it either way. You'll have to make do with me being there with you in… spirit, I guess. I should probably wrap this up; Bismuth just came in and– Bismuth, why are you grabbing that chair?"

Pearl, who had been completely absorbed in the video since the start, managed to let out an amused snort through her tears. She watched Peridot turn around to her right, presumably addressing her teammate.

"W-wait, what. What. SERIOUSLY?! Bismuth, put that down right now! … I know it looks perfect for it, but you don't use the chairs in here as kindling for the campfire outside! … I-I don't know; that's just how it is on this planet; in this house! Do you have any idea what they're gonna do to me if they found out I let you chuck their furniture into a flaming pit?! H-hey, I'm being serious! Bismuth, I'm not playing around here! Go find someplace outside for kindling if you need it that badly! Oooh, you–!"

Pearl completely busted up laughing. Peridot ran out of the frame, presumably to chase down Bismuth. A small struggle was heard in the background, mostly some very strained and typically odd Peridot noises before a loud crash was heard. Pearl winced, but she had already been through that area of the house since coming back. Nothing looked broken then. She gradually heard Peridot's voice more clearly as she stumbled back into frame.

"–Yeah, yeah, a "challenge"! That's definitely what that was! Keep walkin', Bismuth! Pull that again and I'm bubbling you for an hour! I'm sure that's a fair punishment! Now GET OUT! –oh stars, I left this running. Pearl, I am so sorry you had to see that. I… I guess you know what that was about."

Peridot had managed to take the chair back from Bismuth and dragged it into frame.

"This is the piece of furniture I saved from that backwards-thinking Bismuth. I seriously recommend you all give her a crash course on modern life when you get back. I know there hasn't been any time to really do that, but… wow. This is awkward.

…

Hey, I just remembered something! As someone who'd know more about the Diamonds than most others, have you ever had a discussion with the other Crystal Gems on how brittle they are? Notice how they'll never shut up about their unmatched hardness factor. You've probably heard it a million times or so in your lifetime. Now, how often do you hear them mention their brittle nature? Not much, if at all, right? That's something I'm gonna exploit, too. In theory, all one would need is a tough, hard-hitting material such as metal – good thing I can make use of that power of mine – and a very precise blow. That has to be enough to at least crack a Diamond. If you all are ever threatened by a Diamond – White or whoever; stars only know how many Diamonds might exist in this universe – I want you to think about that. But do not, absolutely do not utilize this knowledge to try and save me, okay?! This is for self-defense only! Got that?! She needs to come to you! …

Hmph. I think that's enough. I've spilled my heart out to you, Pearl. You'd better appreciate it. … I will miss you. I really will. Just… take care of yourself as much as you take care of the others, okay? I'm starting to feel the weight of this leadership role… it's not easy looking out for two totally backwards teammates. So I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis. Give yourself some time to just relax and… I dunno, do nothing. Or whatever you want. You deserve it, Pearl. You're objectively the best Pearl this universe has ever known already… you don't need to prove any more than you have already.

My sincerest regards, Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."

Pearl couldn't believe the amount of mood whiplash going on in this video, but Garnet was right. She came out of this feeling much better for it… and all the more determined to save Peridot, despite her weak attempts to ward her away. She was genuinely impressed with some of Peridot's observations and advice, and while she was busy fighting off pallids with Amethyst at the time, she had seen Yellow Diamond eventually kneeling for the rest of the battle with a cracked core. That was proof enough that Peridot was right about her theory… but would it be enough to stop White Diamond? That was the question.

Also, the video hadn't ended. Peridot was no longer in the shot, but footage was still rolling… until a close-up of Peridot's face took up the screen.

"One last thing, Pearl. Is Steven doing well? I keep worrying he's never going to forgive himself for me not surviving the mission since he's the one who sent us that SOS in the first place. Do me a favor, please. If he starts acting up or sulking, don't hesitate to dish out some tough love on him. Here, I'll throw you a freebie to use on him directly: HEY, STEVEN! SNAP THE CRAP OUT OF IT, YOU SADSAP! THIS IS YOUR GREAT AND LOVABLE PERIDOT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TELLING YOU TO STOP SULKING, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, AND STOP ACTING LIKE A CLOD TO YOUR FRIENDS! I WOULD'VE GONE AFTER YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAD ASKED ME TO, SO GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON! DO IT NOW OR I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS FOREVER! AND THE ONLY SOUND YOU'RE EVER GONNA HEAR AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS: STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! …

Phew. How many times was that…? Just… just play that on loop if he's being difficult. If that fails, you have my blessing to resort to physical discipline. … now I'm outta breath…

Thanks for everything, Pearl. I need to sit down…"

That was the end of the video. Pearl was smiling widely yet crying at the same time. "He's in good hands, Peridot… and soon, so will you."

Interesting that Peridot's insistence for Pearl to take a day off matched up with Garnet's order before they landed on Earth. There was indeed a lot of work to be done… but Pearl decided, just this once, to not hole herself up in her room and call it a day. She wanted to take in the beauty of the Earth; Pearl did not anticipate missing it as much as she did. Soon enough, she would have to settle down like the rest of her friends and plan yet another suicide mission set right on course with an impossible foe. She always did envy how easily Peridot could just shed herself of her Homeworld habits and just have fun with life, much like Steven. Pearl feared she may be too far gone, set in her old ways. But she wouldn't figure anything out until she actually gave it a try.

Pearl exited the room holding nothing but her phone in her hand. Not too much time had passed. Amethyst was now in the kitchen, cleaning house as usual.

"Amethyst, honestly. Show a little self-restraint; Steven hasn't eaten a thing since we came back, and he's refusing to comply. I'd like there to be something left for him to eat once he's finally ready."

"Oops… thought maybe he ate already," Amethyst muttered. "He's usually only that grumpy when he's borderline starving, but if that isn't it… hooboy."

Pearl approached Amethyst, curious with her response. "What exactly are you implying?"

"Uh, I figured you knew already," Amethyst assumed. "Because he's at extreme levels of bummed out. I was kinda hopin' to play some of his games to unwind, but I think the Ste-man's finally getting some z's. I tried striking up some small talk earlier, but he's not having any of it. And oh… his phone's on the table. That's probably why he hasn't been replying to my texts… and why I felt the counter vibrate after sending a message."

"Did he tell you?" Pearl asked. "That he had no interest in watching his message from Peridot?"

"... holy crap, I knew I was forgetting about something."

"Amethyst." Pearl narrowed her eyes at the smaller gem. "You haven't even seen yours yet? Really?"

"Sorry, I've been trying to loosen up a bit like Garnet said to since we got home," Amethyst admitted. "I figured maybe listening to Peri's video would just make it worse for me."

"I recommend getting it out of the way as soon as you can," Pearl advised. "I just finished watching mine. And yes… it was a bit of a tearjerker, but it had some genuinely funny moments in there too that helped a lot. A very priceless candid camera moment in mine, plus she gave me a very handy alarm to wake Steven up with if he won't get out of bed. I'll give him 8 hours, then I'll be experimenting."

"Just like you're gonna experiment on those pasty walker dudes, am I right?" Amethyst said smugly. "I might've overheard from Garnet that you're working on a cure."

"Well, what else are we going to with the hundreds of bubbles Peridot sent us?" Pearl asked rhetorically. "At the very least, I'm going to work on a vaccine that will grant us immunity from the side effects."

"Protip: if we do get a splotch on one of our arms or legs, we can probably survive if everything below that on the limb gets amputated right away. It's gonna suck, but at least White Diamond won't hijack your body and mind."

"Oh, please," Pearl groaned, rolling her eyes. "I believe this is a little bit different from being bitten by the undead. I hope you take this more seriously when we get ready for the next phase. You do understand that's definitely going to happen, right?"

"I'd be more surprised if it didn't," Amethyst responded. "And don't worry; I'll always get my act together to save a member of my Shorty Squad. Steven's gonna be with me 100% on that. I find it hard to believe he doesn't wanna see his message from Peri, but if I had to guess, he's still not gotten past the shock of losin' his gal the way he did."

Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Gal?"

"Wow, you must suck at paying attention!" Amethyst exclaimed, laughing. "Aw, normally I'd say it's a Shorty Squad secret, but those two were literally making out on the battlefield. Pretty sure if they're doing that, they don't want their thing to be a secret."

"WHAT?!" Pearl clearly missed the implications. "Oh, dear. That's… that's why she was so impassioned when she talked about Steven at the end of my message. And why the dear nearly blew her voice out to make her own little wake-up alarm for Steven. Goodness… I'm not sure how to feel about this."

"She couldn't help but talk about Steven when she's supposed to be talking about you, huh?" Amethyst was clearly amused.

Pearl huffed out a sigh. "Oh, she talked about me plenty. And apparently she talked about Steven in Garnet's message, too. Now that you've gone and said it, I can see it now… and I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"I don't think this is the right time to get too judgmental over something like that," Amethyst pointed out. "But I gotta admit, P, you're hyping me up for this message. Now I gotta see what she says about Steven in mine. I bet she'll be a lot more obtuse about her thing with Steven when she's talkin' to me."

"Well, keep in mind it's a message for you, primarily," Pearl reminded her. "But I'm glad I've got you into the mood of watching it. I'll leave you alone to do that; I'll be going out for a while."

As Pearl stepped out and opened the front door, Amethyst looked up. "Goin' out, huh? Mind buying some stuff to restock the fridge, then?"

Pearl just smirked back to Amethyst. "I'm not going for groceries; I'm going for me. Garnet and Peridot recommended I take some time to spend just on myself. Just… be selfish for a day." She adjusted her blazer. "And I'll admit, I'd like to show off my new outfit."

"I hear that. Go for it, P! I'll be here vegging out when you get back. I'll leave somethin' for our little man… considering what he's going through, I'll keep out of the ice cream for 'im."

Pearl nodded to Amethyst and took off out the door. It looked to be shaping up like a beautiful mid-spring morning in Beach City.

"Well, if both of my leaders think this is what I need, who am I to argue? I wonder if I'll come across her again in town… mm, better check the local concert schedule."

[ NEXT LOG: AMETHYST ]