He took a few sips of wine, and I knew that would be enough. It took less than a minute for him to slump over, asleep.
"I'm sorry you had to do that," Hermione said.
"Me too," I admitted, standing up. "Now we need to pack it up and get out of here. Or else it won't be so easy to get out of here."
"I'll go collect my things," Hermione said.
Harry went and gathered our stuff, putting it in my purse. I took some of the food and wrapped it up, knowing we could eat it. I made sure to leave a little for my father. I felt terrible that things had to happen like this, but there was nothing I could do. Then, because I figured I was already at my lowest morally, I decided to see if my father had any money in his bag.
He had a bag from Gringotts, clearly having taken a lot of money out of his bank account before fleeing. About half of it had been changed into Muggle money, so I took a few bills. He would have more than enough money, and maybe we could get a hotel room tonight. The thought of that made me smile. I did not want to go out into the wild yet.
I found Hermione had come back downstairs with her things, along with a few extra blankets. It had not taken us too long to pack up.
"Are we all set?" Harry asked.
"Can I leave a note?" I asked.
He nodded and summoned a piece of parchment for me.
Dear Dad,
I'm so sorry I had to do that to you. It was a simple sleeping potion, and I hope you wake up feeling well rested. I only meant to protect you, and I hope it has worked. You cannot get involved with us, it will end poorly.
I am sorry. I hope we meet again soon.
Love, Katherine
I set it under his wine glass so he would see it when he woke up.
"Are we ready?" Harry asked.
I nodded.
"Where will we go?" Hermione asked.
"I have enough money for a Muggle hotel," I said. "I... took some from my Dad."
Harry and Hermione exchanged glances, trying to decide if this was a good idea. The moment of silence was broken when Hermione sneezed.
"Let's go," he said.
Half an hour later, we had found a vacant room in a small inn nestled in a village in the middle of nowhere. We would not be disturbed here.
The room was poorly decorated, but would serve its purpose. There was a fireplace on one end of the room, where Harry was fiddling around. He wanted to light the fire even though it was plenty warm in the room already. Hermione lay on the big, four poster bed that dominated the room. I could tell she would not be awake much longer.
I was full and warm, which was a nice change. I did not allow myself the chance to dwell on my father, for I knew that would result in nothing but grief. My father had to understand my actions. I was doing the best I could to keep everyone I cared about safe.
I looked at Harry, sitting near the fireplace and trying to light the fire. His wand stuck out of his back pocket, though he was using Muggle methods to light the fire. The determined look on his face made me happy.
We still needed to talk, though. I was so confused over last night. I really liked Harry... but now surely wasn't the time for a relationship. Perhaps he didn't even really like me like that. We were so reliant on each other out here... perhaps it was a mere occasion of needs needing fulfillment and too much wine. But I wanted to know. It didn't seem right to talk while Hermione was asleep right near us.
"Want to go for a walk?" I asked.
He looked to Hermione, and then looked back to me. "I don't want to go that far from her... Want to just go in the hall?"
I nodded. He opened the door and I followed him down the hall to two chairs around an unlit fireplace. This inn was a bit odd, but it served its purpose. We had a little privacy, as there weren't any other people staying tonight.
"I'm not sure what to say," I admitted.
"Last night was great," he said.
"With a start like that, we are sure to get nowhere," I told him. I wasn't sure what I expected out of this, really. I was exhausted and didn't know really what I wanted.
"I'm sorry. I really like you, Kat," he said. "I think you've known that for awhile... I think we both have known for quite some time."
I nodded. We had not been very good at hiding it, ever. Looking back, it just made so much more sense. "But because we're out here..."
"I can't promise you anything," he said. "And that isn't fair to you. You deserve whatever you want."
"But what if I want this like you want this?" I asked, leaning forward. "
"Then that's great." he said, quietly. He was very quiet and taking a long time to respond. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully, which I appreciated. "But... Kat. You know the dangers of war. You've been out here long enough..."
"I know that you may not be around after the war," I said, saying the awful words before he got the chance to. "But the same could be said about me. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? No one knows. So I don't think you should let that get in the way of a little happiness and comfort out here. If anyone deserves it, it's us."
"I can't be a proper boyfriend, either," he said. He was chewing on his lip and looked troubled. I didn't like to trouble him like this. "You know this."
I nodded. "I do. I'm not expecting dates or anything like that. Let's just let it develop how it does. Let time take its course."
"You're going to be in quite a bit of danger, Kat," he said. "It isn't worth it."
"I'm in danger regardless, Harry," I reminded him. "Don't you think if I didn't like being in danger, I'd have left by now?"
That was a fair point and he knew it. Danger was everywhere right now. His argument was just not valid under these circumstances.
"Okay," he said. He was deep in thought and in a way, I appreciated that. He did care about me and it meant a lot that he was considering it so thoroughly. "Okay, Kat."
I leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you," I said, quietly. I ran my hands along his stubbly jaw and smiled. When I pulled away, I could see the smile on his face and that reassured me that what we were doing was right. He needed to smile more.
We walked back to our room, my hand in his. He seemed so distracted tonight and I wanted to know what was on his mind. But I wouldn't push too much tonight. Hermione would ask tomorrow, I knew it.
Hermione was zonked out on the bed. I didn't think I was all that far behind her. I started arranging pillows and blankets in front of the fire. Tonight I would enjoy being warm and comfortable as I slept. I wouldn't wake up shivering or hungry. I didn't know where we would be tomorrow night, so I appreciated this even more.
"Going to sleep?" I asked him.
"Not quite yet," he said. "But you sleep."
"Are you sure?" I asked. "We know we're safe. No one has to stand watch tonight. Why not take advantage of this?"
"Just not tired," he sighed.
"I have some sleeping potion," I explained, reaching for my bag.
"I know you do," he said. "You sleep. I'm going to do a little reading."
I got all cozy in my bed and started drifting off. "Good night, Harry," I mumbled.
"Merry Christmas," he said. "Sleep well."
I woke up a few hours later to find he had slumped over asleep in the chair with a book in his hands. Typical. He needed his sleep though. He could sleep sitting up any time in the tent. We were warm, safe, and it was time for him to get good rest.
I stood up and got behind him. Even in his sleep, his shoulders were tense. It only took a moment for him to snap awake, his hand searching for his wand.
"Oh, Kat," he sighed, but I knew his heart was racing.
"It's just me," I said, still rubbing his shoulders. Maybe he would feel better if we loosened up a little. "You should sleep on the floor. It's much more comfortable."
"You're right," he said. I could see his eyes drooping, he really was exhausted. He stood up and stretched and I wrapped my arms around him. It was nice to feel his body against mine. Touch was such a comforting force.
He went and brushed his teeth and I set up a pillow and a few blankets for him to sleep under. I got back under my blankets before they lost their warmth. Rolling over, I could hear the cracking noise of the bones in my back shifting. Sleep was not far from me. I heard him return from the bathroom and get ready for sleep. Five minutes later, I drifted off to sleep.
~.~
My first thought upon waking up was where was I, that I could possibly be warm and completely cozy and dry and quiet? There wasn't a pang of hunger in my stomach, like there had been the last few months. Harry's arm was around me. I settled into the embrace, a smile on my face. I could hear both Hermione's and Harry's soft snores and knew I was the only one awake.
Right here, right now, it was so easy to pretend. Pretend that we could be done with sleeping outside, in the cold. Pretend we had a normal relationship and he was just my boyfriend and I was just his girlfriend and nothing was scary or dangerous. That we could just be happy. I could pretend that less than twenty four hours ago, I had not drugged my father so that we could escape his questions. In this lovely pretend world, everything was perfect. I cozied in, shut my eyes, and enjoyed for a while.
The dusty clock that hung on the equally dusty mantle over the fire moved forward though, and I knew what the reality was. We had only a few short hours before we were back to pitching the tent in the least snowy woods in all of Britain. We would be cold, no longer have access to hot running water, and we would probably be cranky. But everything was perfect now.
My perfection was broken when Harry woke up. Although he tightened his grip on me and that was lovely, he would quickly motivate us to get out of there.
"Why don't you shower?" he asked about ten minutes later. "We've got to get going."
I did, saddened by the fact that it would be my last hot shower for the indefinite future. The coat of grime that just couldn't be washed away otherwise was gone though, so I guess that helped. After I had gotten dressed and made my way back into the bedroom, I was a lot more awake. He sat in the chair, pouring over a map of Great Britain. I knew he was trying to decide where to take us now.
"Back to the cold, snowy outdoors?" I asked. Hermione has woken up and was getting ready.
"Yes," he said. "I think we're going to go a little west. Any objections?"
Hermione looked over the map and saw the area he was pointing to. She nodded her head in approval. I warmed up some of the leftovers from yesterday's big meal while they finished getting everything ready to go. We ate the food in front of the fire before heading out. It was really hard to leave the inn, knowing what kind of accommodation was waiting for us after we left. I hoped we might be able to stay somewhere nice again soon. Or maybe this whole ordeal would be over and we could sleep inside... forever.
An hour later, we had trudged through an abandoned, cold forest searching for a good spot to put up a tent. Hermione and Harry were setting up while I made tea, because we were so cold.
The tent did present some familiarity. The last few days had been crazy. I couldn't believe that I had seen my father and that he had been in one piece. That was just bizarre to me. I was starting to feel pangs of guilt for having to leave him there. I hoped with all my heart that I would see him again soon, and he would forgive me. It was merely what was best for him... I hoped.
It also was strange that Harry and I were some sort of... together now. We hadn't talked about it, but there was some silent agreement that we wouldn't discuss it with Hermione. Not that we were hiding anything, really, it just didn't seem like a good idea. I knew she was still upset over Ron leaving. And I didn't want her to feel excluded or anything. I was sure she would find out eventually, but it wasn't anything that needed to be done right now. I looked up, over my cup of tea, at Harry.
He met my eyes and smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. I had a feeling that things were going to be okay.
Author's Note: I am so sorry! I totally thought I had published this ages ago! I never meant to go so long without updating! Ahhh! I am so sorry! At least I have the next two chapters all ready to go so you will get those very very soon! Thanks to potter-reading-coastie for betaing. Let me know what you think of the chapter.