Peridot: The Final Logs Chapter 7: Lapis, a steven universe fanfic

Notes:

So... for once it's better to read the AO3 version of this because it has that block quote feature that makes the Peri message segments look so much better. No such feature here, and the messages are too broken up to justify the break line (it would also look terrible). This site also doesn't seem to believe in anything other than 1.0 spacing, of course. So, enjoy it for what it is. The segments are already stuff you've read, anyway.

And I was veeeery nervous writing this chapter; more so than Connie's. But, I had fun with it! Next chapter will be a similar build to this one: Steven message, then some stuff that will properly bridge into GA3, which I will start working on once the final chapter of this is complete. Cheers!

"Unbelievable. After giving me the run-around, they didn't think to just tell me what the plan was!"

Lapis flew around, scouting for a nice spot to finally see what Peridot had to say for her specifically. She had every reason to believe it was going to be nothing but several consecutive minutes of insults and lambasting; if certain others had told her that Peridot specifically claimed she was going to roast Lapis on their messages, she'd have all the more reason to believe that's what she was in for.

But she knew it wouldn't be unwarranted. Lapis knew how badly she tore up Peridot by fleeing to the Moon and taking everything except Pumpkin with her. Once Lapis made her decision to just bite the bullet and embrace being a Crystal Gem, there wasn't any time to properly reconcile. Right away, once Lapis was filled in on the situation after she reformed, it was obvious to her there wouldn't be forward movement of any kind until Peridot reformed. And that was a big "if", because Lapis could not see her former roommate upholding the responsibility of being the boss very well.

She had the drive and the potential, certainly. But Lapis would always doubt Peridot's maturity and ego that could put a stop to everything. If she took up the position, Lapis wouldn't be able to resist keeping her in line. But with Greg and Bismuth clueless as to how to progress forward or even know where to go if they successfully left Earth, and Lapis not wanting to work with Bismuth period, Lapis herself seriously wanted to default to what she always did when it just got too hard for her: run away. Ultimately deciding to at least give Peridot a chance was something Lapis both regretted and didn't regret doing. Peridot really surprised her in many ways. Even after she found out the main reason why Peridot was able to step up as well as she did, it didn't really hinder the team that much.

It did help that Steven was a goal instead of a distraction, of course.

And to her credit, Peridot ultimately saved everyone she intended to save. The technician was not so delusional to believe her plan would go off without a hitch and thought fast for alternative solutions accordingly. What impressed Lapis more than anything was how Peridot's priorities never wavered; somehow, that little gem learned very quickly that a leadership position meant so much more than just asserting authority over others. While Lapis was beyond pissed at how Peridot decided to handle resolving the grudge with Bismuth, she was ultimately glad that's how it happened. She knew this operation would have been a lot messier and would have ended much sooner had her issue with Bismuth not been resolved. Peridot had always been careful and logical about their next moves – the only exception being how she handled capturing Yellow Pearl, but Lapis couldn't bring herself to be too hard on Peridot for that. She of all people had no business telling Peridot how to manage dealing with the source of her anger and pain. And the assault that happened beforehand… it was horrifying, yet Peridot pressed on regardless like it was nothing.

Lapis pulled out her prism as she found a dock to sit by. Nice and isolated with a very peaceful vibe, this seemed like a good a place as any to finally get this over with. She hated to admit it, but Peridot, despite being the only one to fail in her mission, outdid herself in nearly every aspect. Lapis, meanwhile… she certainly didn't think she was useless; if she hadn't noticed Lion, who knows how long it would have taken to reunite with Steven and Connie? She also found the imprisoned Crystal Gems in a matter of seconds that would have taken Bismuth and Connie much longer to do. Her well-timed attack got rid of the White Pearl blockade, which ended up saving everyone's lives. But compared to her friend, who was usually inferior to her in every possible way besides the social factor? Lapis wasn't nearly as helpful as she could have been. She really hated that she was the only one who got poofed that mission, even if it was towards the end of their journey. It was nice that she got a better outfit for her trouble, but if she could exchange it for having Peridot back, she'd do so in a heartbeat.

But it wasn't doing Lapis any good to dwell on the past like this. Despite others expecting the worst from Peridot in their messages, Lapis had more justification than anyone else to believe it really would be that bad for her. Peridot was clearly happy to see her back, but after the reform, she was quick to lay in the guilt trips as soon as possible. And that never really went away… Lapis wasn't sure what to do from here, should the best-case scenario happen and they get Peridot back and eliminate White Diamond. Then again, Lapis remembered that until their current situation is resolved, there's no reason to think that far ahead. There was one thing Lapis knew she would be doing while the Crystal Gems prepared for a return trip to Homeworld: train. For a master of the seas, Lapis had a hard time managing limited water that was difficult to recycle. She didn't have much time to hone her skills and no one to train her (Peridot could come up with the idea, but she wouldn't have been able to properly train Lapis for this). This was something she could rectify now.

There wasn't much time left to waste. Lapis waved her hand over the prism in her palm and held it up to float in the proper angle for Lapis to watch whatever was contained inside.

Peridot sat in the same place and position as she had been in her Greg and Bismuth messages, though this time she looked visibly fatigued… just a little. Lapis raised a brow and studied the video carefully the moment Peridot spoke: she was quieter than usual, and her demeanor was far more casual.

"… Log Date ETA: 52 minutes...

So… we meet again, Lapis Lazuli. Kind of. You know the deal already, don't you? I'm dead and you're not. So I get to make a final message to you, and you don't.

And if you think I'm just alive and held captive by the Diamonds, please don't come after me. Lapis, you of all people should know better than to walk into such a blatant trap. Your specialty is running away, remember? You certainly love to do it. If any little thing upsets you, you just bolt and go stars-knows-where.

… Maybe we should address the thing we never had time to properly talk about first. Let's just get it out of the way. Believe it or not, there are plenty of other topics worth talking about with you, Lapis. But I'm on a time crunch now. As I speak, you're either still trapped in a tube with Bismuth, or you've made up and all is well. So, if any of this feels rushed, you'll know why. I do have one last person to address after you, and I don't even have an hour to spare. I'm sure you can guess who I'm saving for last.

So, yeah… we never really had a proper talk about that time since you came back. Don't think for a second that I'm not happy to have you back, or that I don't appreciate the help you put in both with the Diamond fight after the wedding and doing odds and ends that got us this far in our current mission. I'm being sincere when I say it feels so… right, so comforting, and relieving that you've come back and I know you're doing well. I… I really missed you.

That being said… I believe you know as well as I do that we can't go back to how it was before. I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible, anyway. You did drop our home on top of Blue Diamond, after all. Effective, but even I can't rebuild something like that and transfer it to its original location. Still, it was a good and creative plan, so I… appreciated that. The damage you did to me personally, however… and knowing your go-to solution in the past has been running away… that's not something I can forgive so easily. I will in time, but… you did a lot of damage internally that you just can't undo.

You know what hurt me most before you left? Not that you were leaving me. Not that you didn't once consider my feelings on moving away and just assumed I felt the same way as you. Not that you were being selfish on an epic level. Lapis, what hurt me most is how easily you turned your back on Earth. You'd sooner flee to another planetoid and let your friends get obliterated than actually help our friends and our home. I thought you knew this, Lapis: Earth is our home now. I know you've got… past issues with it and all, but guess what? So do I. Do you really think I came to Earth thinking it was anything more than a primitive, insignificant ball of dirt? I was miserable while I was on the run before I was captured!

You just… you're so flippant, Lapis! One moment you're saving my life from a Roaming Eye, the next you're stealing my home away from me the second you hear about what happened with Steven and the Diamonds. You don't bother thinking about alternatives; you just immediately go in headfirst with your first instinct, and that instinct is always to run away from your problems.

I mean… come on! I've made it no secret that I'm a huge coward. I've had my moments, but I was constantly paranoid about being tracked down after I told off Yellow Diamond! And I sort of wasn't wrong! I started out in my Earth mission only looking out for myself; screw everyone else. I grew out of that a long time ago, but it looks like that mindset is ingratiated into your gemetic makeup. Even after everything we've been through, what you went through, and getting to know everybody else… you'd still leave them to die just to save your own sorry butt. I don't know what made you come back, but Lapis… you've given me no reason to believe you won't just take off again after the mission is complete. You did trick me into a test just to determine whether or not you'd abandon our current mission!

I get that you had a sucky life trapped in a mirror, and you want the freedom to move around whenever you want. That's completely understandable. But did you ever ask me how I felt? I'd be telling you the opposite: I had gone through a lot of strange and scary places when I first got stuck on Earth. I wanted to be safe! Stable! Secure! I got my fill of wanderlust and then some in the worst possible way. What I wanted more than anything was a place to call home; a long-term safe haven, and I could start living by routine again, like I'm used to. Did you ever think once, Lapis, that some people just want a place to call home, that they can always return to when something goes wrong?! Maybe some people like being boxed in, because at least in there, it's safe! There's loving people in it, a new life I can start for myself with their help, I just…!

Lapis, I want to stay grounded this time. I'm a Crystal Gem, for stars' sake. I should be available if they need me. And I really want to be part of this team, Lapis… I know I probably won't make much of a difference, but I'm gonna fight for Earth if I have to. I'll fight for the people I love, who've shown me so much kindness. If you're gonna consider yourself a Crystal Gem, Lapis, you need to rethink your priorities. Because friends and teammates don't run off and abandon each other, no matter how scared out of their minds they are! That's why I've decided I'm moving back in with them, for good this time. I don't care if I don't get anything more than the bathroom; it's all worth it just to be with my family! My friends! My loved ones! Why can't you understand that, Lapis?!

By the way, you're not inheriting Pumpkin. She's going to Steven, because I don't trust some wishy-washy world-hopping gem to take care of Pumpkin properly.

You're also not getting any of my stuff. Amethyst and Steven are splitting that.

… I said so much of that rant in the present tense, as if I'm not dead by the point you hear me tearing you a new one. All of that was pointless. But… nnnrgh, maybe I just wanted you to know. I got carried away, thinking I had a future beyond this mission. Maybe I just want to dish out something, so that if you feel even a fraction of the pain I went through because of you, I'd be one satisfied dead gem.

Like I said, I'm happy to have you back. I may not be around long enough to really appreciate it, but… maybe you can try something out for me in my absence: try to work with the Crystal Gems. Give my friends a real chance. I'm not saying you can't fly wherever you want, but… maybe at least try living with them? You might not hate it as much as you think, Lapis. Maybe you could use some company in a time like now…

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm hoping this mission endears you to the idea of really being part of a group effort; a team. At least make you think… that you don't always have to go it alone. You can ask for help. Clearly, my company alone wasn't enough to make you consider any of this… and maybe that's my fault for either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. Either way, I'm sorry.

Hmph… don't I sound full of it. Me, helping you… as if I'm not a mess in my own right. That incident during takeoff was just a short while ago as I'm recording this, so… it's still fresh in my head. I suppose I should thank you for that properly, Lapis. You did help me define some of my internal struggles. I don't think I was entirely honest with you, though. I am confused; I still am… but more than anything, I've been greedy. I want Steven as a friend, and in my family, and… I want him to be more than that, all at once. I'm just trying to lock away those stupid feelings so I can concentrate on the mission.

I can't keep Steven like this in my heart, though… can I? I don't want to lose him as a friend or family member if I choose to see him as more of a… soulmate, of sorts. I… I can live without him being the latter if his heart is already spoken for; I'm sort of anticipating that being the case, anyway. One useful thing I learned from you, Lapis, is to temper my expectations. If I keep them low, then I can't possibly be disappointed or let down. It's still such a depressing state of mind, though…

And, you know… the "center of gravity" stuff sounded stupid at first, but the more I think about it, it's a pretty apt description. I just know it, once we do find Steven, I'll stop being such a mental case and maybe I'll actually come off as a halfway-competent leader. I've already got something of a plan for starting out… um, I guess I should apologize since it's gonna require me getting limb enhancers. I know those are basically symbolic of… the time I was at my worst for all of you. I'm not that thrilled about getting them, if it makes you feel better. It's been so long since I've been without them, it's only going to be weird for me to readjust. I don't plan on keeping them indefinitely, though. Just long enough to get through the next phase of my plan, where, if all goes as intended, I'll procure an all-access key to Homeworld, and then we won't have to worry about picking and choosing where to go. This'll even let us into their palaces, you know.

I just think it's important we do it soon since we're likely to park somewhere I frequented during my early days. And if we don't get our hands on something that will give us the freedom to go wherever we want, we're facing a very long search for our friends and then a way out of here. You might be wondering why I didn't tell you this sooner, right? Well… I don't know. Well, kind of. It's just there's something of a personal gain for me when we do this, and this is after denounced you and Bismuth for even considering acting out of revenge during a rescue mission. So, I do feel like a massive hypocrite right now. Maybe I just want you to trust me, even if you don't know what I have in mind.

The closer we get to Homeworld, I'm finally starting to feel some of that fear that should've been present in me ages ago… but it's not for the reason it should be. I haven't been able to shake the feeling of my inevitable demise since I took up this mission. I estimate my chances of making it out alive are roughly 25%. But I'm the only one I'm getting that feeling about; the rest of you… I feel like you'll be fine, especially after we free Garnet. But that's not what's getting to me, Lapis… obviously, you can tell I've made peace with that nasty part of my imagination. What's really scaring me is… the closer we get, the more I start to think about how I lived there previously. I only have little flickers of feelings instead of proper memories, but I can't help but feel like… like that's going to change the further I go in. I'll start to remember the details of my early life. The horrible, horrible things I've done. If you thought I was bad when you were my informant, mmmfgh… I feel like the "me" before then was far, far worse. I'm just feeling that, you know, any memory I gain in Homeworld will be a terrible one. I don't need any more reaffirmations of how much of a monster I was back then! They're not necessary, and it's only going to throw me off when I'm trying to head this mission!

… and it might make Steven think twice about me…

Anyway… Lapis, I'm sorry I couldn't fit in time to watch you train with a limited water supply. There was simply too much to do, considering how fast our ship was built. I would have been interested in seeing how you adapt, and what techniques you must resort to so that you can conserve as much water as you possibly can. I'm sorry it took me so long to ask you the right questions… what a cruddy leader I am. It was always fun seeing you mess with water, Lapis. You make it look so easy.

Then again, you've had thousands of years to master your element. My metal powers… they only awakened recently. And I can't do nearly as much with them… I'm not exactly sure why I have these powers at all, you know? I've gone through the records, Lapis… Era 1 or Era 2, no other Peridot has developed these powers. I'm beginning to think I'm way more defective than I thought. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly couldn't tell you. But thankfully for you, it's a moot point since I'm now deceased.

But, hey. At least be thankful you'll never have to worry about Jasper again, Lapis. I know… I understand that was a very rough… very dark time for you. But now, your concerns have been put to rest. And hey, now that I'm dead, I guess that means we both got what we deserved for making you our prisoner, haahaha! Ha… haha…

Nyyrghhh… mmmhh… n-no, I can't cry again! I-I thought I had this under control! What's wrong with me?! I can't be like this for the next video! I–

Uh. I'm sorry, Lapis. I didn't want to break down like this. It's just… I get sadder and sadder with each message I complete. Now that I'm so close to finishing this, I feel like I'm at my limit. M-maybe that's good… maybe I'll run out of tears by the time I record Steven's message. Then I'll have it all c-covered…

Mmmh… haven't you ever wondered, Lapis? What it's like to be human? They're quite fascinating for organics with a finite lifespan. I know you like Steven well enough… certainly more than me. Although he is a hybrid. But that's what makes him special, right? There's no other being like him. … saying that is an insult, actually. It implies his biological status is more noteworthy than the kind of person he is, and that couldn't be any further from the truth.

But really, Lapis… I always wanted to try more human stuff out. Did you know hot cocoa is delicious? The fact that Connie attends an educational institute called a "school" is such a tease, because I would love to be in there, learning more about Earth. I've… I've really grown to love this planet, Lapis. All the more reason we need to keep our mission as straightforward as possible. So we can save our loved ones, return to Earth, and never look back on Homeworld again. The more I learn about Earth, the more disgusted I am at myself, emerging from a Homeworld Kindergarten. Makes me wonder if that's why Amethyst is so much fun to be with. She was made here on Earth, after all.

I just find myself more and more wanting to learn about human ways and adapt to them. I'm still making sure my inherent skills are not neglected, but I have to try everything. So many options… you're not exactly enthused about trying new things out. Don't think I haven't noticed… you just forced yourself into farming with me, didn't you? You obviously couldn't have cared less for our crops when you left! I bet you didn't really give a crap about Camp Pining Hearts, either! Sometimes, I think you're just tolerating me because Steven wants you to. And you only join me in these projects to spare my feelings. Because you hate it when I cry. It's so annoying, right? Just makes you wanna take off and fly to Earth's northern magnetic pole!

I'm sorry… great, here I go again with this… I'm just spouting off so much accusatory nonsense because I don't know how to communicate with you properly. You're not that easy to read, Lapis! I just don't understand… why you want to make this so much more difficult for yourself than it needs to be. You deserve more than you think you do, Lapis. J-just take your past; soak it down and let it go. Then carry on, because you're stronger than they'll ever know. That's the deal with living here on Earth; you get no respect handed to you just because you're a Lapis Lazuli who is a master of the sea. I never said Earth isn't dangerous or unpleasant in some spots… there might be some who aren't okay with you flinging around building-sized masses of water that cause massive collateral damage. You're gonna get charged, acting like that… remember how easily your powers can harm these humans. J-just… watch your neck out there, okay?

This is why I worry about you and the others outside of Amethyst on your lack of interest in immersing yourself fully into this planet. I feel so calm; so peaceful… it gives me a kind of warmth I can't even properly explain to you. Maybe that's why I was so offended when you left Earth the way you did… I just adore this planet so much. Is… is it even fair to say that? Our Earth experiences have been similar. We were both originally there for a quick in-and-out, got stranded, and were desperately trying to find a way home. And we both encountered a lot of hard times… of course, your case is far more severe. But it's not the planet's fault we were stuck here in the first place. How can a place this wonderful be responsible for our problems?

I suppose, like humans, gems can have certain preferences to how they choose to live their lives. Once they're awakened, that is. I only saw others in two ways before I came here, Lapis… superior, and competition. I had no interests; you already know such a thing was not conducive to Homeworld's productivity. I had no choice in how to live my life… only to determine how much I wanted to succeed, so I'd be praised for it… rather than shattered. But look at how I am now. Was it that rigid with your kind on Homeworld? There's really a lot I don't know about you, despite how long we've shared a space together. I'll admit I've been… a little too afraid to ask. It's just so easy to trigger you, Lapis… and that's the last thing I want. It's just like how I was too afraid to tell you I didn't want to leave Earth; I knew it would only upset you. And I was right, wasn't I?

But perhaps I'm being too judgmental. You like isolation. You like it quiet. You like being able to fly around the world whenever you please, just by yourself. Maybe we weren't meant to work out as roommates after all. Because it's not a bad thing to have those preferences. It just makes you different… really, really different from me. I'll always hold this "screw the Earth, I'm saving myself" thing you pulled against you, though. I never felt so betrayed. You would leave our home to perish. You would let all of our friends and family, and the billions of people we don't even know in this world all perish. You'd let my center of gravity die so easily… I… I really want to hate you for that. I can't, because… because he won't forgive me for holding on to a grudge, but… Lapis, I'm so mad at you. I'm s-sorry that I keep circling back to this but it's just…. j-just… how could you?!

I'm sorry. I pray to the stars these are my last tears. Th-that'll be nice, right…? You'll be the last one to see me cry. I-I think the only other one I've cried on so far is Amethyst's… s-so I guess that proves you m-meant a lot to me. That you could make me break down like this. If I run out of tears, th-then I can't do this with Steven. I can't do this on Steven's video; I can't give him an excuse to cry over me.

Lapis, I … I know it's stupid that I've been saying a lot of this as if I'm gonna know how you'll respond before I die, a-and I'm about to do it again, but…!

I-I don't want you to ever turn your back on Steven and his home again. I want you to promise me that. If you don't want to be part of it, then be there in my place! Because there's no place I would rather be! –Ggghh, why is this so hard to talk to you about, stars almighty, I talk to you more than most other gems! This should be easy! You already knew, didn't you? How much I love Steven… I-is that why you pushed me away all the time? Because I wasn't always at his side while living with you? … n-no, shut up, Peridot, you're being hysterical. Use your logic. Drrhh…

L-Lapis, how am I gonna do this?! You can already tell my voice is almost gone! How do I even talk to Steven posthumously?! I-I'm gonna screw this up so bad… why did I do all of this? Why did I make this? Why didn't I consider the psychological ramifications of you all watching these messages?! Now I'm in too deep! I HAVE to finish this. Steven will wonder why I didn't make one for him and– ow, ow. This is… this is hurting me. Talking is hurting me. … I… I need to stop. Rest my voice.

I-I'm sorry, Lapis… s-sorry to end it th-this way… h-had I f-foreseen this, I… I w-would've done yours a-and Steven's first. J-just… take care, o-okay? I-I'm sure you'll h-hardly know I'm gone! … I-I love you, Lapis…

Wi… w-with my de…epest gratitude, a-and fon… fondest of f-farewells, this is m-my f-final sign off…

P... Pe– Peridot F-Facet-2F… 5… L… Cut-5… X… G…"

The video ended there. Lapis, who had already been crying for a while now, grabbed her prism and held it closely to her as she sobbed.

"Y-you stupid little brat… you blew out your voice for me. For me! I–" Lapis shuddered as she tried to contain her tears. She would need to take a dip in the ocean so it wouldn't be as blindingly obvious how much she cried.

"We're going back to Homeworld whether you like it or not!" Lapis yelled at the prism. She knew it wasn't Peridot, but it was the closest thing to her she had now. "And we are getting you out of there, and we're bringing you home! You think I'll run away this time?! Think again! Stop being such an obstinate little–" Lapis realized it was just a crystal she spoke to and quieted herself.

"O-okay… I promised the others. The second that ends, I go back. I'm making good on my promises from now on."

Greg and Bismuth figured there might be a 20-25-minute wait for Lapis' message, and they weren't far off. Soon enough, she was seen flying in the distance before she circled around and landed right beside her teammates by the fire.

"Mission accomplished."

"We're proud of you, Lapi," Bismuth said warmly. "Was it what you expected?"

"... the little idiot blew her voice out," Lapis muttered. "That's why she could barely talk after she came out of that chamber. She overdid it…"

"Yeah, towards the end of mine is where I started to hear her voice crack," Greg said with a sigh. "She was pretty reserved in mine compared to what I heard from the others. Apparently, she went full-throttle on Amethyst."

"It's good we had drinking water on hand," Bismuth noted. "Too bad she didn't think to take one with her in there. How bad did she blow out her voice on yours, Lapis?"

Lapis held out her prism, waved her hand over it, and raised it up. Before the video could play again, Lapis managed to pause it and skip to her last line, so Greg and Bismuth could hear for themselves how bad she sounded at this point. "That bad."

"Stars almighty," Bismuth murmured. "She didn't sound quite that bad when she came out..."

"That is really fishy," Greg agreed. "But maybe we'd better report to Amethyst now. She's been waiting for us forever."

Lapis snatched her prism and held it tightly in her hand. "The Peri Patrol goes at its own pace."

Bismuth nodded and grinned. "Yeeeeah, Lapis showin' some team spirit!"

"I thought team spirit was this," Lapis honestly said as she raised up her hand.

"Heh, well it's one of many forms," Greg agreed as he also held out his hand. "Why not? We pulled off a team effort tonight."

Bismuth smiled and held hers up as well. "We sure did. Too bad we don't have a team slogan, or a call or anything like that."

"Well, if you're wanting us to think of what to say once we do this, I'm sorry… but I can only think of our captain's word," said a smirking Lapis.

"I know what word you're talkin' about…" Bismuth smirked in return. "Greg?"

"What other word could it be, then?" Greg was in on it as well. "On 3, then! 1… 2…"

"CLOD!"

Amethyst stepped out of the front door to see the trio of misfit Crystal Gems just perform a 3-way high five. Part of her was amused by this, but she was at the end of her rope with her patience.

"So, the Peri Party's got their own little team warm-up routine," she noted.

"That's Peri Patrol to you, honey," Bismuth corrected.

"Ahh. Well, I was close," Amethyst acknowledged. "Cool. Cool." Her face then hardened. "You all better be ready to hand over your crystals."

Bismuth, Lapis, and Greg all handed theirs to Amethyst, who sighed with relief as she took them. "Fiiiiinally, I can put this all together. Man, Steven's gonna have to get up after this. No one can take this much guilt-tripping! Did she go off on any of you guys, too? Just wonderin'."

"Uh, kind of, with me," Lapis answered. "But I'm worried about how she did Steven's message now. It was the last one she did, and at the end of mine, her voice is almost completely gone."

"Whoa." Amethyst didn't expect to hear this. "Major plot twist. Guess we'll find out soon enough when Ste-man finally watches it. Alrighty, Peri Patrol. Stop acting like a bunch of weird outsiders and come join us. I'll be back after I get all of this put together."

"Thank you kindly, Amethyst," Bismuth said. And with that, the trio entered the beach house. This drew the attention of a now-awake Connie and Pearl.. but seemingly not Garnet, who vigilantly watched Steven as he continued to sleep, though by now he was showing signs of discomfort.

"I'm so glad you all could finally join us," Connie said excitedly. "Was there a reason for the hold-up, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Nothin' major," Greg assured her. "It just took a little Peri Patrol solidarity to get the three of us to watch our messages."

"Peri Patrol? Goodness, now we've got sub-team names as well," Pearl muttered. "Honestly, Greg, we have the situation under control. I understand your concern for Steven, but this is something beyond your reach. So you don't need to stay in here; you can head back to your van."

"Say what?" Bismuth said with disbelief before Greg could even respond. "Pearl, he's got a right to be here as much as the rest of us do. He's a Crystal Gem!"

Pearl was not buying it. "I'm sorry, Bismuth, I think you were misinformed," she rebutted. "He has never been part of–"

"Well, he is now," Lapis insisted, cutting Pearl off. "Fully endorsed by Peridot herself, so he is part of the Peri Patrol and by extension, a Crystal Gem."

"Even if you do have proof of this, I dispute the claim," Pearl retorted. "I respect the fact that Peridot led us on the last mission, but that can't be enough to make him… well, one of us! He's never been, and he's known us for decades! Garnet, you can't possibly approve of this, can you?"

Garnet briefly looked over to Pearl before redirecting her focus to Steven again. "Hm… there would be no Peri Patrol without him," she noted. "He did have a valuable, if unglamorous role in our last mission, but Greg is also the heart of this team. I can feel it," she said with a smile. "Peridot was still leader when she decreed this, so I'm in no position to disrespect her decision."

"I vote he stays," Connie insisted. "He's earned his place. Like Garnet said, his job was important, and for bringing a team together in our time of need, he deserves high honors. He and Bismuth were the only ones who got Steven's message for help, too."

"I can foresee what Amethyst would say without a vision," Garnet noted. She then turned to address the man. "Greg Universe, by the powers vested in me and my predecessor Peridot, we welcome you as an official member of the Crystal Gems. It is nice to finally have you on board with us, Greg. It's been too long."

This was followed by the sound of applause by every conscious person in the room… save for Pearl, who at best only offered a golf clap.

"W-wow, didn't think I'd be the center of attention this quick," Greg said, a bit uncertain how to feel about this. "I wish I brought my guitar with me. Um, does that mean I can see my son now…?"

Garnet nodded and made room for Greg. "By all means, climb up." He did so, and finally got a good look at his bedridden son.

"Oh… little Schtu-ball…" Greg sighed. "This looks like more than just depression thing, Garnet. He's either in pain or having a really bad nightmare."

"The discomfort only recently came about," Garnet noted. "I hoped in vain that Peridot might have left a clue about Steven's condition in your message, but… she wouldn't have seen this coming."

"Yeah, sorry." Greg sadly nodded. "Mine had an interesting point about how no two identical gems can exist at the same time, but most of it was her sounding more and more like a future in-law."

"Hm… that is an interesting point," Garnet noted. "I'd like you to share it with us when we all settle down to share our experiences."

Greg nodded readily. "Will do."

"How long is it gonna take Amethyst?" Bismuth asked. "I know we're down a tech gem…"

"It's a really simple process," Connie assured. "She's just skimming through the video to find the parts she wants played, marks the time stamp, and sets it to play only on what she selects. She's already got it set for our devices, so it's just the last few from the Peri Patrol that she's getting through."

Lapis sighed and gazed up the ceiling. "I'm still not sure how she managed to give anything to Steven. Her voice was reduced to nearly nothing by the end of mine. It was hurting her to even talk…"

"Oh my," Pearl didn't like the sound of that. "That is a cause for concern. Why didn't she take a break or drink some water…?"

"Our messages were recorded on the ship while we traveled to Homeworld," Bismuth explained. "She was in an isolation chamber for about an hour and a half, makin' messages to me, Greg, Lapis, and Steven all at once. And she didn't bring anything to drink, either. We made sure to hook her up with a water bottle after she came out. But we didn't even know what she was doin' in there at the time…"

"It's pretty depressing when I think back on that now," Lapis tiredly muttered and looked to Bismuth. "While we were working things out as her prisoners with Greg mediating us, she was in there the entire time, saying goodbye to us."

Bismuth solemnly closed her eyes. "While we were singin' and havin' fun, she was doing that. Bless that child… we're getting her back."

Everyone around Bismuth nodded in agreement. In a timely fashion, Amethyst returned with the crystals and returned them to their respective owners. "Okay, everybody's set. We just gotta determine in what order we're gonna do our thing. Crystal owners, just do what you did before. Some of us are gonna have two different selected segments because I couldn't just decide on what to keep. Just repeat your step after the first one goes off. Now, Pearl's gotta go first because she has the Peri-alarm. I'm thinkin'… Lapis, you oughta go last. You weren't kidding about P-Dot blowin' her voice out… that was hard to listen to. But that makes it the best guilt trip!"

Lapis smiled a bit to herself. "When we get Peridot back, I can let her know she lost her voice for a good cause."

"So what order does that put the rest of us?" Connie asked. "You're the only one who knows the content of all these messages, Amethyst."

"Heh! Ain't that the truth," she admitted with a snort. "Ah man, it's been a long day of me workin' on these. Hearing Peri talk that much when she's not actually here is gonna start giving me some kinda complex. Okay, uh…" She looked up and across the room, determining her choices based on what the messages contained.

"We're gonna work our way up," Amethyst decided. "Garnet, yours was actually pretty tame, so you'll go after Pearl. After Garnet, we'll use… Bismuth's. Following Bismuth, we'll go with Connie. I'll follow after you, Connie, and Greg? You're following after me."

"Understood," Garnet confirmed. "The order is Pearl, myself, Bismuth, Connie, Amethyst, Greg, and Lapis."

"That's the order of least-sappy to most sappy?" Lapis was amused. "How interesting…"

"Technically, Pearl's is a bit sappier; s'got more of a tsundere vibe to it, but Garnet's doesn't have the Peri-alarm."

"I feel like I'm going to regret hearing this alarm," Greg said worriedly. "Also, we can't all fit up here at once. I'll have to bring Steven down to rest on the couch."

Garnet nodded and stood up before making her way down. "Good; we should all be standing by him when he awakes. We may be relieving Steven of his agony by waking him up."

"C'mon, Schtu-ball, just like when you were a baby," Greg murmured as he gathered the sleeping Steven into his arms and carefully made his way down to the floor level of the house. "Garnet? I think his temperature's going up a little higher than it should be."

"He'll be fine," Garnet assured him. "Just set him onto the couch. Everyone, circle around him in your assigned order. Pearl, you're already on the couch, so we'll start there." She positioned herself next to Pearl, and the others fell in line as Greg came over to gently lay Steven on the couch, where he was definitely looking a bit flustered in his sleep. Greg patted him on the head before walking back to take his spot between Amethyst and Lapis.

"O-okay…" Pearl looked very nervous about this, especially since Steven was visibly struggling in his sleep, she she took a deep breath and looked to the others. "On my mark?"

Garnet nodded. "Get set."

"Go," Amethyst finished, very eager to see how her plan would play out.

Pearl took out her phone and hit the play button.

"If he starts acting up or sulking, don't hesitate to dish out some tough love on him. Here, I'll throw you a freebie to use on him directly: HEY, STEVEN! SNAP THE CRAP OUT OF IT, YOU SADSAP! THIS IS YOUR GREAT AND LOVABLE PERIDOT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TELLING YOU TO STOP SULKING, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, AND STOP ACTING LIKE A CLOD TO YOUR FRIENDS! I WOULD'VE GONE AFTER YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAD ASKED ME TO, SO GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON! DO IT NOW OR I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS FOREVER! AND THE ONLY SOUND YOU'RE EVER GONNA HEAR AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS: STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLO-"

"STOP! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP!"

Steven's eyes opened, but everyone was frozen with fear as his entire being glowed a bright pink hue before emitting energy waves of the same color all over the house. It didn't physically harm anyone it passed through, though it did internally shake them up. The beach house rumbled, but it died down moments later. A split-second visage of Pink Diamond flashed right where Steven was before the boy fully woke up; gradually the pinkness in his hair and skin faded back into his natural dark brown.

"Th-that's Peridot! Where is–?!" Steven soon realized he was on the couch and not his bed. He also realized he was hungry, but that was a minor detail right now. And, of course, he took notice to everyone standing around him in a half-circle. "Wha… why are all of you–?"

Now that he was confirmed back to normal, the pink energy went straight into the back of everyone's minds. It's not like they didn't know where it came from, now. The important thing was that Steven was conscious after nearly 20 hours of sleep.

"Steven," Garnet said gently. "We're glad you're awake; you've been asleep nearly the entire day. We'll be happy to make you something to eat, but I need you to promise me something first: will you watch Peridot's message to you?"

Reality sunk in for Steven; his pupils dilated and he tried his best not to cry. The best way to stave that off was with anger and fear. "No, nonononono! No, I'm not getting anywhere near that thing! Just delete it! I can't have something like that on my phone! Put me back to bed!"

"Steven, you're still gonna act like this?" Amethyst was not surprised, but still offended. "Peridot would be heartbroken if she saw this right now."

"Don't you start with that again–" Steven was being stubborn.

Connie stepped slightly forward. "Steven, listen to me. We've all listened to our messages. They're in video format, but there's something you need to know about them…"

Steven's head hung low. "Do I really?"

"Steven, Peridot's talked about you in each of our messages," Pearl informed him. Being the nearest to Steven, she combed his curly hair through her fingers. "And not just in a casual way. You mean so much to her, she couldn't keep it contained to just your message."

"Hope you weren't planning on keeping it a secret, because she busted it big time in our messages," Lapis said smugly. "Not that you two were that good at keeping it a secret anyway. I saw what happened on the veranda."

That shook Steven. "Wh-WHA?!" He had been so emotionally distraught at the time, he didn't even recognize anyone else other than Peridot at the time.

"Oh, you should've seen the kiss they had in the terminal when we were all locked up in that big final battle," Amethyst eagerly added with a chuckle. "Looked like it came straight outta a movie!"

"O-oh geez, you too?!" Steven covered his face in embarrassment. That whole mission was such a rush, he didn't have time to think about the risks he took being that openly affectionate to Peridot. "Oh no.. oh no… why would you think saying that makes me want to see my message?!"

"We've got something that will make you want to see it," Garnet informed him as she played her bit next.

"I don't know how he's going to fare being without me; probably for the better, I guess… just… just take care of him. You know he's the one that's keeping me going, with this whole stupid rescue mission. He's the only reason I'm not the worst leader in the world. You have no idea what he means to me, okay? Even I hardly know what he means to me… it's just… a lot , okay?! He's just as important as this primitive dirtball we live on, get it?"

Steven shrunk down a bit. He was visibly shaken by hearing Peridot's voice, talking about him, no less. This was nothing he didn't already know from spending time with her at the Homeworld Kindergarten, though.

"Steven, I've been with her that entire mission," said Bismuth, taking her turn. "I've known that gem for just a few days, and we were close enough that she'd share this with me."

"You've probably noticed I've been a little… all over the place. But I always have been able to recover quickly enough… and it's because of Steven. He's my goal in all of this – I love the others and naturally I wish to save them even if it kills me to do it, but Steven's my… well, Lapis said he was my center of gravity. My whole world got flipped on its head and has nearly come apart so many times ever since I first got the news about what happened after I reformed. I called these stupid pictures my "gravity stabilizers" because they give me that feeling I need to keep it together. Two variants - this one with me and Steven, it's supposed to cheer me up. If I get too depressed for whatever reason, I won't be able to function as the head of this operation. The one with just Steven… that's the one that keeps my thoughts gathered. It's what I look to for strength. All I have to do is concentrate on it, and suddenly I feel… at peace. Things make sense again, and I remember what I'm doing this for."

This one, Steven paid attention to. Bismuth grinned at the end. "But wait, there's more!"

"It's not really a simple matter when I said I loved him. I love him in all kinds of ways because of how integral he was to my transition from Yellow Diamond's mindless lackey to a free-spirited individual who gladly fights for Earth. I owe everything I am now to Steven. Absolutely everything. I don't even want to think of living my life without him in it. I won't accept it, Bismuth. So losing him is not an option.

I can't assure you – any of you – that I won't do something absolutely reprehensible if we were to lose Steven. There's a good chance I'll have an identity crisis and… and I might become your enemy. Not that I'd side with the Diamonds again; I mean more like… more like corruption. I don't know if it's possible, but I just know you won't be able to distinguish me from a corrupted gem once I – we lose him!

So promise me, Bismuth… if that's what becomes of me should we lose Steven for any reason… I'm giving you the order to shatter me. You won't be able to rehabilitate me, because I won't be myself anymore. There will be nothing for my damaged self to return to, because all the best parts about me… they'll die with Steven. I won't be the great and lovable Peridot anymore, so as leader of the Crystal Gems as of this recording… you are all under obligation to shatter me under these conditions."

This part shook everyone up, including Steven. Bismuth's grin already had faded into a look of pure sadness. "Yeah, I thought it might be… important that y'all heard this bit, too."

"That's why I included it," sighed a somber Amethyst. "That was… that was heavy stuff."

"I can't– I can't!" Steven looked to be in a pure mental turmoil. "I can't let Peridot die like that!"

No one was surprised that this wasn't enough to move him. Now, it was Connie's turn.

"Steven, we're gonna do everything in our power to bring Peridot back home, just like how she did everything she could to make sure we got home… and she succeeded," Connie told him. "We're not about to turn our back on her now, and we're going to make sure neither of you die. Because… because you need to hear these too, Steven…"

"Connie, I… I have… a very complicated viewpoint on Steven. You know he was largely responsible for taking me in when he didn't need to. He was the biggest part in how I ultimately defected from Homeworld… a-and we even saved this planet, just the two of us, from the Cluster that would have killed you all otherwise! I-I'm trying to tell you I see Steven in so many different ways, because he's been helping me rebuild my life every step of the way! H-he teaches me things… we have fun together… and he's as good a listener as he is a talker. I haven't been feeling like myself since I learned he was on Homeworld after I reformed. Thinking of Steven is the only way I can bring myself back together to focus on leading the team. It sounds stupid, right? But that's how it works. Nothing makes sense to me anymore when he isn't here, Connie! I-I really need him back… I need all of you back, but without him, I'd…

I don't know. I can't phrase it in a way that makes any sense. B-but understand, it's more than what you think it is! Steven's my first friend. He's been there for me when I needed a friend around for whatever reason. He's part of my family… the only family I really ever had. Without him, I'd be on my own, on the run in stars-knows-where on this clod-forsaken rock. I wouldn't know what to do, where to go, who to trust, what to touch, what to approach, what to avoid… I-I pride myself on being a genius, but I'm still a total idiot when it comes to Earth, Connie! I… I need the help. I still do, after everything I've learned.

I seriously can't imagine life without Steven. I don't want a life without Steven, ever. I don't want a life where he isn't part of it in some way. M-maybe I've grown too codependent… but I can't use that possibility to mask the truth. S-so you could say I even love him…. but I'm too afraid to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship I have with him and you."

"Oh, geez…" Steven dreaded Connie ever finding out about this, but he couldn't understand why she seemed so okay with it all. "C-Connie, I'm so sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Connie said with a smile. "We weren't official. Besides, listen to this," she urged.

"Above all else, I want Steven to be happy. I'll gladly give up everything that I am to make that happen, because… I wouldn't be me without him. I'd just be a machine."

"And this one, too…"

"Mmm… what was I even thinking, you know? He's only all that I am, th-that's all… he's someone I'd do anything for… at any time. Anywhere… any reason."

"Steven… I can't say anything like this to you in relation to me," Connie admitted. "And I can't hurt Peridot like this; she wants to get to know me more, and I feel the same for her. You basically made her, Steven. I'm afraid parts of me were pre-made when we met," she said with a nervous chuckle. "There's one more thing from mine you should hear about…"

"What's it like, anyway? To fuse? See… I can't fuse with anyone. To my knowledge, anyway. But Era 2s like me are gemetically inferior to Era 1s in every possible way… and everyone else is an Era 1. I can't shapeshift, I'm not at all strong and I'm not that fast. I'm durable, sure, but Peridots are supposed to be. Until I discovered the metal powers, and even that's very weak and limited, I really had nothing going for me. But I thought… if Steven can fuse with a full-blooded human, shouldn't it stand to reason he could fuse with an Era 2 gem, too? I-I wasn't going to ask Steven personally… I can't bring myself to. It's too embarrassing. Even more so if it's still impossible with my kind. But as a gem who's never going to know how that feels… oh, I wish I could just ask and get an immediate answer."

"She was too afraid to ask me…" Steven looked hurt by that. He knew by now she would have asked... if only she was here now. "I thought she just didn't want to…"

"She asked me to ask for you, in fact," Garnet spoke up. "Peridot has been very… very curious about the fusion topic lately. But… perhaps a new fusion will be what we need for our next mission… when we find her."

"A'iiiight, it's my turn!" Amethyst announced. "Ste-man, just so you know, I came up with the plan to do this. You can thank me later. Peri was straight-up savage to me, and paaaart of the reason for that miiiiight be due to how she broke down when it came to you."

"Stars, I'm such a clod. I got through 3 videos without even coming close to shedding a tear, but here of all videos is where I'm gonna get misty-eyed?! If I'm getting like this with you, Amethyst, how in the world am I gonna get through Steven's message with a straight face?! I can't cry in his! It'll just make him cry! And it makes me want to cry knowing that my future crying is gonna make him cry even later on! I just–

You know, I should at least explain this to you… this thing I have so much trouble expressing to the others, because I have to make sure everyone knows he's important enough, and wonderful enough to be everyone's concern, and everyone needs to be there for him in my place so he doesn't have to suffer losing me as much– nynnngh! A-and I can't keep a secret from a Shorty Squad member, right?!

Everything that's been driving me right now… to head this mission, to do all these things I normally never do… that's because Steven's in trouble and I can't stop thinking about him. But that's a good thing, because thinking about him is what's keeping me grounded, like a competent leader should be! I-it's not to say I'm not worried for the rest of you. Oh, trust me… I'm gonna be freaking miserable until I see you all safe and sound. But when I'm about to break down, I… thinking about him puts me at peace. I remember why I'm doing this, and… h-he's so special to me, I don't even know how to describe it, Amethyst! I know what it sounds like, but it's so much more than that! I-I'll admit it to you, at least… I'm afraid, okay?! I'm terrified of defining my relationship with Steven.

It's not just one thing, you know? Calling him merely a "friend" is an insult! An unacceptable understatement of his contributions to my life! I can't just call him "family". I mean, he IS that. He IS a friend. And… geez, sure, why not… he's meant so much to me, I can't comprehend life without him! So I love him. Grrrhhkkkk. Why did I say that? Even THAT'S an understatement! Do you see the kind of mess that little clod turns me into, Amethyst?! I-I want him as all these things, but… but I have to pick one, don't I? What happens to the others when I do? I don't… I don't want them to go away. How does one live without those other facets?! These are things I really need to know and I'll never know because I'm dead!"

Lapis was impressed. "Whoa. She was freaking out. She can barely speak without letting out a weird sound. That's…"

"I know, right?" Amethyst was proud of herself. "It's this that got her to talk to me like I'm garbage. She was mighty pissed to confess this even to me! Oh, here's something everyone should be aware of."

"By the way, I've decided. I've chosen you and Steven to inherit my belongings. I trust you'll be able to come to an agreement with him, but I couldn't just choose one or the other."

"Yeah, she was "nice" enough to let me know about this on mine," Lapis snapped. "Pumpkin's included in that living will, by the way."

"That's only if she's truly dead," Garnet reminded them both. Steven was silently in tears by this point. "Which none of us think is the case for the time being."

"Right, right; just wanted to get that out there so I can say she literally put me and Steven in her last will and testament," Amethyst said, rolling her eyes. "Okay, Greg. Give him the news man-to-man."

"Eeesh, you gotta put it like that- oh, hey there, Schtu-ball! I'm so glad you're awake. There's… something we're gonna need to talk about later, but Peridot was a total sweetheart in my message." He held up his prism. "I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you it's almost like she's asking me for permission to marry you."

Before Steven could even protest, the message began.

"I have so far promised everyone I've made a message to that I would die with a clear conscience, which requires me to confess everything I've never wanted to confess for various reasons. There's really only one thing I've kept to myself that's even relevant to you… and that's how I feel about Steven.

You think you know where this is going, but… it's much more complex than that, I think. You're aware that Steven is responsible for almost 98% of what I've learned here on Earth, right? Let's just round that up to 100%, because that's how it feels for me. Greg, I wasn't anything like this before I got stranded on Earth. The me you like seeing when I care for Pumpkin? Didn't exist in any way, shape, or form when I lived on Homeworld. I just did my job, worked hard for attention and praise… and, well. You remember the story I just told you not too long before I came in here. I was numb to a lot of things that would give me the gem equivalent of a coronary today. If I could dig deeper into the "feelings" I have in place of where memories should be, I don't think anyone's going to like that I find… least of all, myself. It's a terrifying prospect.

Steven made me who I am today, Greg. He rebuilt my life step-by-step. He can be an annoying little twit at times, but it's impossible for me to come even close to hating him. It's just as impossible for me not to love him.

A-and when I say "love", Greg… I mean that in so many ways. Steven and his friends… and you, by this point, became the family I never had. There's still a lot of family-related subjects I don't understand, as I told you before, but it's a comfort to truly be part of one regardless. I'm not sure what role you all see me in… I'll admit that does make me curious. But also nervous, because… Steven's also a good friend to me. He's my best friend, right up there with Amethyst. He's a friend who always knows how to help me when I'm having trouble with something. He likes to talk to me. He likes to listen to me talk… we've had so many conversations. We play all varieties of Earth games together. We explore together. We learn together. We work together. We support each other in hard times. We've even saved the Earth together… just the two of us. At one point we thought we were both gonna die down there, and… we just hugged each other, thinking these were our final moments. I asked him if he had any last words… he said, "I love you, Peridot". I know what kind of love he was referring to, as I felt it…

But since then, part of my subconscious has been stuck on that moment. I felt like the final seal on the true potential of my identity was broken that day… because I felt another kind of love for the first time. I imagined my life without Steven, and I hated it. I couldn't accept it. I need him in my life, because he is my life. Without Steven, there is no "Great and Lovable" Peridot. I never want to lose him, okay? Even if he doesn't… you know, reciprocate my amorous sentiments, I'll settle for him as a friend. As a member of my family. As long as he's in my life, I'll be satiated. But if he goes, I eventually will, too. I'll corrupt. I'll be unrecognizable; you'd all have to put me down, because even If you cured me, I still won't be anything.

He truly is my center of gravity. Steven keeps me together. Since he's imperiled on another planet right now, that's… mostly the reason why I'm having a hard time keeping it together, hence my need for the gravity stabilizers. And I have no idea if you're even okay with the concept of me loving your offspring that way. I can't control your feelings on the matter… I'm just optimistic enough to hope you'd be okay with it. If you're not… well, no need to worry since I'm dead now, right?

I just want to be with him… as much as I can. I have so much of this stupid "love" for Steven, I'm about to burst, you know?! I owe him my entire life. Steven showed me what life is. So I want to give him my life, so we can always be together and do the things we do whenever we want. I want to be a permanent part of his life… I just know, somehow, I won't find any of this anywhere else. Anyone else.

It's not like this is unprecedented, right…? You fell in love with a gem despite being an organic with a finite lifespan. So I fell in love with a hybrid gem-organic… it's similar enough. If you think about it… we kinda fell in love with the exact same gem. A Diamond, in actuality. Completely different people, of course, but the same gem—Diamond—whatever. I don't know if it'll work out for me like it did for you, but I can deal with it if it doesn't happen like that. I'll keep him as a friend, and a member of my family. I've been so scared to lose those aspects of my relationship with Steven, you know? I feel like if I start seeing him in a romantic sense, I can't see him as a friend or family member anymore. The nature of our relationship will change drastically if I go this route. Why can't I retain all facets of my relationship with him? I… I really am a clod on this subject. And it's irrelevant now as you watch this. I guess for all your help, you deserve not only to know of my loving dedication to your offspring, you deserve to see me make a fool of myself rambling on like this."

Steven was understandably stunned to hear this. Most of the other gems' jaws dropped by the end. Even Amethyst, who heard this already, was just shaking her head in disbelief.

"Huh… I thought there'd be more of a reaction…" Greg nervously observed. "I-I told you all I wasn't exaggerating!"

"Are you already seeing her as a daughter-in-law?" Garnet asked him knowingly with a smile.

"H-honestly? Almost! I mean, pretty much! Way too early in the game, but…" Greg hardly knew how to put it. "That's the heaviest I've ever seen it laid on."

"You think?" Lapis was in disbelief. "WHY is mine last, again? Mine doesn't even come close to topping that!"

Amethyst looked over to Steven, who hadn't said a word. His eyes were focused on the couch cushions, and despite his heavily blushing face, his hands had formed into shaking fists, and he looked determined… about something. To her, this was a very good sign.

She then looked back to Lapis, opened her mouth, and pointed at it to signal her why hers was indeed placed last.

"O-oh, right, of course!" Lapis looked flustered. "Uh, any other comments before we move on, then? I think most of us are still… taking it in…" She had no idea Peridot had this in her. She always seemed like a child about everything that wasn't her primary function, but this? Lapis could hardly believe Peridot had this in her. And clearly, it was something she withheld like crazy from Lapis since her message to Greg was not long after they took off into space… where just before then, she had that talk with Peridot on this very subject. She didn't sound nearly as confused as she let on; then again, Lapis recalled her woes over losing Steven in all the other ways she loved. Now it made sense. That was the source of the confusion. But regardless of that aspect, Peridot was beyond heavily in love; way more so than she let on.

"I mean… that is the mother of all confession bombs," Amethyst said. "It's no less mind-blowing to hear this again; I can tell you that much…"

Connie smiled nervously. "I think Peridot got it wrong about who should be surrendering the right to pursue Steven like that," she said with a laugh. "I cannot compete with that. Maybe it is early, but given the circumstances, I'm pretty sure Peridot's feelings aren't going to change at all no matter how many years pass on from now. No amount of time can change how much she credits you for having the life she has now, Steven."

"There's something that concerns me, though," Pearl said, and she did legitimately sound worried. "Greg, she brought up you and Rose. You don't think Peridot might…"

"Wh-what?! Come on, Pearl! Even if she had that intent, I'd make sure it wouldn't be happening until years down the line! I'd like to think she was only bringing it up because, well, it is literally the same gem–diamond thing that I fell for. Just very, very different people. You don't see that every day."

Finally, Steven spoke. "Lapis, play yours. I wanna hear it." His eyes were still closed, as if he was concentrating on something internally.

"O-oh, right," Lapis was quick to get in on that. "One thing, Steven. Her message to me is the last one before yours. She had done so many at once that she… her voice was almost gone by the end. She had a very limited amount of time to do yours. So… I honestly don't know how she pulled off a message for you, but… here." She played her bits of the message.

"I suppose I should thank you for that properly, Lapis. You did help me define some of my internal struggles. I don't think I was entirely honest with you, though. I am confused; I still am… but more than anything, I've been greedy. I want Steven as a friend, and in my family, and… I want him to be more than that, all at once. I'm just trying to lock away those stupid feelings so I can concentrate on the mission.

"You know, she wasn't wrong about that last part, Steven," Lapis told him. "She had a really hard time keeping herself together. But once you came back and healed her… she jumped right back in like she was always meant for it. Peridot as a leader was very consistent from that point on. Oh, and I should thank you for this one."

"I'll always hold this "screw the Earth, I'm saving myself" thing you pulled against you, though. I never felt so betrayed. You would leave our home to perish. You would let all of our friends and family, and the billions of people we don't even know in this world all perish. You'd let my center of gravity die so easily… I… I really want to hate you for that. I can't, because… because he won't forgive me for holding on to a grudge, but… Lapis, I'm so mad at you. I'm s-sorry that I keep circling back to this but it's just… j-just… how could you?!"

"Thanks to you, she doesn't hate me," Lapis said with a smirk. "But she wants me to atone in the event of... well, you know. Here's my last piece… and here's where her voice is almost gone."

"I-I don't want you to ever turn your back on Steven and his home again. I want you to promise me that. If you don't want to be part of it, then be there in my place! Because there's no place I would rather be! –Ggghh, why is this so hard to talk to you about, stars almighty, I talk to you more than most other gems! This should be easy! You already knew, didn't you? How much I love Steven… I-is that why you pushed me away all the time? Because I wasn't always at his side while living with you? … n-no, shut up, Peridot, you're being hysterical. Use your logic. Drrhh…

An eerie silence permeated the room after that clip finished. That one was very hard for Amethyst to hear the first time, and again, the second was no easier to endure. Many were driven to tears listening to that. Steven was no exception, but his head was still bowed down towards the couch. He tried his best to recover quickly, because he understood why his friends subjected this to him now.

"Sorry to end our session like this," Lapis apologized in a gentle tone. "But you were right, Amethyst. I would've just ruined the others' messages if I didn't go on last."

"Trust me when I say I know these things," Amethyst honestly assured her. "Steven, you got anything to say now?"

There were a few beats of silence… then Steven finally raised his head and opened his eyes, facing everyone. He looked determined… and nothing was going to stop him now.

"Amethyst, where's my phone?"

"Right here, little man," Amethyst said as she held out Steven's phone before tossing it to him. He caught it without even the slightest struggle or flinch. "You finally ready?"

"Yeah…" Steven looked to his phone. "Yeah, I need to see this."

Before Steven could even ask for privacy, the circle broke up. They already knew; that was Peridot's rule.

"If anyone's interested, please join me in my room," Pearl invited the others. "I'm going to work on a pallid cure, a vaccine… something. I could definitely use some extra sets of hands, so…"

Most gems volunteered for this. Greg opted out, though. "I think I'm gonna head to my van and bring the guitar." He patted Steven on the head before turning to leave. "Just you wait. You won't believe what song I learned while you were gone!"

Steven smiled at this father and nodded silently. Soon after, Amethyst came over to hug the boy. "So that snapped you out of it, huh? I was hoping it would, little man."

Steven laughed a bit and hugged back. "Yeah, yeah… it did. Thank you, Amethyst. I really… really appreciate this."

"Good, 'cause I was gonna be pissed if you hated it!" Amethyst said boldly. "Though I kinda feel bad that I just dumped a load of stuff into your head all at once. You gonna be okay from now on?"

"I have to be," Steven insisted. "What good am I gonna be at rescuing Peridot if I'm not?"

"Good point, my man!" Amethyst played around with his hair one last time before heading to her room. "I'm too exhausted for that science crap… I'm gonna defrag for a while. Steven, grab yourself a meal while you read that message, 'kay? You gotta be starving."

"You're not wrong there…" Steven patted his grumbling stomach. "Thanks again, Amethyst."

Nearly the entire house was vacated at this point. There was just one left; one who was about to walk out the door.

"Hey, Lapis…?" Steven looked mildly concerned. "Everything okay?"

Lapis looked to Steven and smiled. "As fine as I can be. Just… let me know if she's okay in your message, got that? She came out of the chamber sounding better than she did at the end of my message, so… she must have pulled something off in there to make a message for you. Of course she would, for you."

Steven looked away and blushed. "I, uh… had no idea, honestly. She pretty much gave me something like a confession while I healed her, but it wasn't nearly as big as all that. It's gonna be tough finding out just what to say…"

"Just be you," Lapis advised. "Because that's what she loves the most. And don't worry about me, okay? She didn't tell me anything I didn't deserve to hear in my message. It wasn't all bad, either. She cares for me a lot more than she led on, too."

Steven smiled to her. "She definitely does; we had to deal with the fallout of that… but it's all okay now, right? So where are you going? I doubt you're hanging with Dad." The tone in his voice screamed "please don't run away again".

"Ah, not really…" Lapis said shyly. "I mean, I'll keep an eye on him; he's one of my Peri Patrol friends, and a Crystal Gem now too…"

"HE IS?!"

Lapis giggled; she forgot Steven was still asleep when that was made official. "You can thank Peridot for that one, too. Garnet approved it, so yep. He's the heart of our Peridot division, just like you're the heart of Garnet's. What I'm actually going to do is train. Homeworld doesn't have natural water reserves, so I need to learn how to fight better with limited amounts. I didn't exactly have a lot of time to train when we went after you and the others… I want to make sure I do a better job next time."

"I think we're all gonna make sure to do a better job next time," Steven assured her. "Peridot told me about that, I just remembered. I'm sure you're gonna do great, Lapis. Just be sure you come home soon. I mean… I guess this can be your home right now, if you want it to be."

Lapis blushed a bit. Peridot nagged at her about this in her message. "I might take you up on that, Steven. Once we bring Peridot home with us, too."

That statement was met with a joyous hug and Lapis reciprocated. "That's right. That's right! It'll all be fine soon!" Steven's stomach grumbled again, to which Lapis stifled a laugh at.

As Steven went over towards the kitchen, Lapis had an idea. She pinched her nose and spoke in a very particular and familiar way. "Yes, I believe it's your feeding time, as you organic meatbags would call it. Consume what you must if you're really in that much need of sustenance. I swear, you humans are so simplistic and needy… no wonder you're a bunch of clods."

That brought about laughter that could have torn the house down. If anyone who already knew Lapis for her impressions had witnessed it, they'd say it was her best one yet.

[ FINAL LOG: STEVEN ]