NOTES: Here it is! The final chapter! As aforementioned, it's an experimental piece, so I would love to hear what you think of it. I'll probably end up going back and changing some formatting errors later. Also, in the first chapter, I changed what Sam overdosed on from painkillers to what it is here. It fit better.
WARNINGS: See chapter one.
IMPORTANT:
If you are reading on your mobile device, then I would recommend turning the font size down! The formatting can get extremely messed up if it's extra large, so I suggest zooming out quite a bit in order to read it to its entirety. Also, reading with a white background gives it a lot more formal and realistic feel, so I would highly recommend you do that as well! I know that I myself like to read with large text and black background, but here it's simply better to just read it like I've said.
Reviews keep me going. If you have the time, I would love to hear what you thought. Especially about this chapter.
Thanks to everybody who has commented. I love you guys.
Enjoy!
SANFORD USD 34TH & KIWANIS FAMILY MEDICINE
MEDICAL REPORT
APPLICANT INFORMATION
LAST, FIRST, MIDDLE, INITIAL
Singer, Sam
DATE OF BIRTH
5 / 02 / 1983
MAILING ADDRESS
[UNAVAILABLE]
CITY, STATE, ZIP
Sioux Falls, SD 57104
TELEPHONE NUMBER
EMAIL ADDRESS
********at*****.***
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER
[UNAVAILABLE]
DRIVER'S LICENSE NUMBER
[UNAVAILABLE]
PHYSICIAN'S REPORT
I. DISEASE OR CONDITION
PSYCHOLOGICAL
- SUICIDE ATTEMPT; OVERDOSE ON ESZOPICLONE; MENTAL INSTABILITY
LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS
II. TREATMENT
LENGTH
- MINIMAL HOURS
FREQUENCY
- SINGLE EVALUATION
DATE OF LAST EXAMINATION
N/A
III. INCIDENT
- PATIENT TOOK AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF ESZOPICLONE (LUNESTA). A ROOMING FAMILY MEMBER UTILIZED IPECAC TO INDUCE VOMITING. PATIENT DOES NOT SEEM DISTRAUGHT OR TRAUMATIZED, BUT IS HESITANT TO TALK. SALINE IN AN IV BAG WAS PROVIDED, ALONG WITH NARCOTIC STABILIZERS. PATIENT IS AWAKE AND RESPONSIVE; ALL VITALS ARE NORMALIZED.
RELEASED DECEMBER 03, 2006
SANFORD USD 34TH & KIWANIS FAMILY MEDICINE
end of page
PALO ALTO DR. J. KENNINGS THERAPY
TRANSCRIPT
JANUARY 29, 2003 03:23:00 PM
KENNINGS: Hello, Sam. My name is Doctor Jack Kennings, but you can call me Jack if you'd like.
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
JESSICA: It's alright, Sam. I'm right here with you. You can talk to him.
KENNINGS: We do not have to discuss anything that you are uncomfortable with. You said you wanted Miss Moore with you during this, correct?
SAM: Yes. She stays. I want to do this with her.
KENNINGS: That is perfectly fine. So, what brings you here to meet with me today?
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
JESSICA: He didn't want to come. But I told him it would be a good idea. Sam, please give this a chance.
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
SAM: I want to kill myself.
KENNINGS: [WRITES ON NOTEPAD] Why would you like to do that? Is there any particular reason you feel the need to harm yourself?
SAM: I don't want to be here. My father hates my guts and the whole world seems stacked against me. That's the simple explanation. [TO JESSICA] I don't like this.
JESSICA: We can stop whenever you would like. Don't push it. Would you like to go home, now?
SAM: No.
JESSICA: Let's continue, then.
KENNINGS: Your father's name is [REDACTED], am I correct?
SAM: Yes.
KENNINGS: Do you think he's part of the reason you feel this way?
SAM: Definitely a part of it, but not all of it. Before you jump to conclusions, it's not like that. He wasn't abusive. He just had other priorities that did not concern me.
KENNINGS: Alright. I believe you. What are some other reasons?
SAM: I feel like I betrayed my family by coming here.
KENNINGS: To Stanford?
SAM: Yes.
KENNINGS: Why do you say that?
SAM: Because they wanted me to stay so damn bad, and I shut the door and locked it behind me. I miss my brother.
KENNINGS: Did your family ever seem overly-possessive about you?
SAM: [LOUDLY] No! They wanted the best for me. They were doing the best they could. I just wanted away from them for a while, is all, to pursue my own dreams.
KENNINGS: And they didn't like that?
SAM: No.
KENNINGS: If you could go back and make the choice to stay with them, would you?
SAM: No. But I may take back some of the things I said.
KENNINGS: [WRITING]
KENNINGS: Have you ever tried to kill yourself, Sam?
SAM: No. But I think about it a lot.
SAM: I think I'm done here. I really do not want to keep talking about this.
JESSICA: Sam, it's alright...
SAM: No. We're done.
KENNINGS: Okay. We barely used half of our time. Would you like to reschedule?
SAM: [GETTING UP] No. This was a mistake coming here. Thank you, but just...no.
SAM: [LEAVES]
JESSICA: I'm sorry.
KENNINGS: It is not your fault. People dealing with depression often do not like to talk. I am going to give you a refund for this occasion. I am also going to prescribe some tricyclic antidepressants. If you can get him to take them, that would help. If not, then it's alright.
JESSICA: Thank you.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
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TRANSCRIPT #922841 — SAM WINCHESTER
*********at*****.***
THANK YOU FOR USING ******** FOR YOUR TRANSCRIPTS
MESSAGES 03/02/2009 04:39:12 AM
RUBY
R: Sam, where are you?
R: I need to talk to you.
R: Sam?
R: Hello?
S: What do you need?
R: Where have you been?
S: It doesn't matter.
R: It does when you're relying on my like you are now.
R: How much are you needing a new fix?
S: This is wrong.
R: Oh, come on. You're being a bitch now? You're kidding.
S: Go away.
R: Never thought you were a pussy.
S: I never wanted any of it.
R: What are you talking about? You wanted all of it.
S: No.
S: Ruby, leave.
R: What didn't you want? The blood or the sex? If it's the vessel, I can get a new one.
S: I wanted none of it. You manipulated me, and I trusted you.
S: I don't want to see you again.
R: Fine.
R: Don't come whining back to me, though.
MESSAGES 03/08/2009 01:31:45 AM
RUBY
S: Ruby
S: something is wrong
S: ruby
S: please
S: hello?
S: i don't feel good
S: i don't like this
S: ruby please
S: i need some
S: i can't do this
S: the lights are too bright
S: i can't see
S: dean is yelling in my ear
S: i thought he was dead though
S: it's not like he's wrong
S: i am a monster
S: ruby please respond
S: ruby?
MESSAGES 03/09/2009 11:42:09 PM
RUBY
R: I thought you didn't want to see me.
S: rby
R: Do you want some?
S: i nd it
S: evrythng so moving fast
R: Beg for it, and I'll meet you somewhere.
S: why
R: Because you wanted it and you know it.
S: i didnt rby pleas
R: Enjoy your time without a fix.
S: no
S: nono
S: rby pls i wanted it
S: i wanted it
S: pls
S: ruby
S: hello
S: ruby please i wantd it
S: nonono
S: i need it
R: Where are you?
S: symmes and rhodine motel
S: rm 32
S: please
R: On my way.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
end of page
GARBER OKLAHOMA POLICE DEPARTMENT
POLICE REPORT
CASE NO: **********
DATE: August 26, 2009
REPORTING OFFICER: Hanson, Jacqueline
PREPARED BY: ********
DESCRIPTION OF ACCIDENT/ISSUE
According to witness' accounts, three armed men entered the bar of Joleine's during the late night of August 25th, 2009. One of the bartenders, whom the witness Lindsey Jones provided the name of [REDACTED], confronted the intruders at the door. It has been determined they were in possession of several knives, in which were utilized in a threatening way. [REDACTED] attempted at settling the situation, but the other waitress [Jones] was soon taken hostage by the throat via one of the criminals. She describes how the men were after [REDACTED], however, refuses to further comment on the situation.
Neither the victim [REDACTED] nor the three suspects have been apprehended. It appears the victim has departed the generalized area, and a hunt is still going on for the three men in question. Descriptions and names have all been provided by Jones.
REPORT SUMMARY
One of the men, by the name of [REDACTED], was arrested at the scene of a gas station no more than thirty miles away from the incident. Inside of their vehicle was an extensive array of illegally owned firearms and weapons, with satanic cultures and ties etched all over the trunk. This was discovered underneath a false bottom in the back of the red pickup. He has been charged with multiple counts of possession of unregistered weaponry, and sentenced to a maximum of two years in Cleveland County Jail. He was not charged further due to lack of evidence to place him at the crime scene, and the victim [REDACTED] was not attending court to testify.
The other two men have still not been found. No further disciplinary actions have been taken to advance this case.
PROPERTY OF
GARBER OKLAHOMA POLICE DEPARTMENT
end of page
KERMIT, TEXAS PSYCHOLOGICAL THERAPY
TRANSCRIPT
MAY 23, 2012 06:13:54 PM
WIERMAN: Hello, Sam.
SAM: I've gone through this before. Skip the damn pleasantries.
WIERMAN: All right.
WIERMAN: You seem as though you don't want to be here. Why are you?
SAM: Someone I know made me come.
WIERMAN: And you listened, meaning at least some part of you wants help.
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
SAM: Listen, Doc. The last time I did this, my girlfriend was with me, and she was concerned about me wanting to kill myself. She's gone now. Here, my friend is concerned about me wanting to kill myself. I don't know why you guys are so fucking adamant about wanting me to live.
WIERMAN: Well, it sounds like your friend cares about you. Does that not mean anything?
SAM: I've barely known her.
WIERMAN: Yet I can tell you like her.
SAM: [SCOFFS]
SAM: Whatever.
WIERMAN: Sam, I don't know much about you. You don't know much about me. In all honesty, we're both just two strangers trying to communicate things that are sometimes thought better left unsaid. In reality, they're not. I understand your hesitance to talk to me. So don't think of me as a shrink. Think of me as someone who cares about you, and someone who wants to help you.
SAM: Everybody says that. The only people who have truly been concerned about my health are dead.
WIERMAN: Well, your friend is alive. I'm alive. So I don't find that necessarily true.
SAM: This is your job. You help because you have to. You don't—
WIERMAN: I'm going to stop you right there, Sam. I help because I want to. Because so many people go through so much bad in their lives...they finally just need a little good.
SAM: That's exactly my point. Other people have it worse. So why am I bitching to you?
WIERMAN: This kind of thing isn't ranked. It's not a matter of who has it the absolute inferior of a situation. Some people suffer from depression, and they have perfectly sane lives. It doesn't make anybody's problems less superior in the slightest.
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
WIERMAN: Do you want to talk about some of the things that have been bothering you?
SAM: My brother is gone.
WIERMAN: I'm sorry for your loss. I take it you two were very close?
SAM: [LAUGHS] You have no idea. My mother died when I was a baby. My father was an alcoholic and somebody who didn't give two shits about who he brought into this world. My brother, Dean, practically raised me.
WIERMAN: The loss of a parent is incomprehensible pain.
SAM: No. I could manage my mom and my dad's death to where I didn't feel like I was going to break. I just…Dean...
WIERMAN: That's not who I was talking about. Your brother was your parent. Losing him, it must be hard.
SAM: Oh.
SAM: [SOFTLY] Yeah.
WIERMAN: But, I propose a question to you, Sam. You say you don't want to be here anymore. If your brother was here, what would he say to that?
SAM: He'd say I was a dumbass and that he needed me here. He'd help me.
WIERMAN: So, when you say you want to kill yourself, always think of that. Do you think your brother would want you to go join him so soon?
SAM: No. Not at all. He'd kill me. Again.
WIERMAN: And there is my point. Even if they're not currently with you, you have so many people that care about your wellbeing, Sam. Just think about that. Your girlfriend, too. I'm sure you both loved each other very much. Hold onto that.
SAM: Thank you.
[TIMER]
WIERMAN: Since this was an introductory session to get to know more about each other, our time was unfortunately and unduly cut short. Would you like to make another meeting? Perhaps longer, next time?
SAM: [PATIENT IS SILENT]
SAM: Yeah, I think so. That would be good. Thank you.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
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After that second therapy session, I saw Dr. Wierman quite often. He helped a lot.
Throughout our life, we've always knocked people who cried about their feelings, and kept our own in. But, throughout life, I've come to learn that...talking with people? It's a remedy unlike any other. With me gone, don't be afraid to seek it, Dean. Because I know you'll be destroyed.
I hope some of this stuff helped to clear a few events up. A few of the documents were very hard to get, and I had to get creative in stealing them. I found 'em eventually, though.
I didn't tell you any of this stuff to make you feel bad, or to pity me, or to be guilty. I told it so that you can understand; don't think any of it is your fault, because it's not.
I love you, Dean.
Your little brother,
Sam