Rafael Barba stepped out of the elevator, replacing his phone into his pocket as he crossed the hallway into the Special Victims squad room.
"What's the case?" The Assistant District Attorney asked, walking into the bullpen.
"10 month old baby Drew Householder." One of the detectives informed. "Kidnapped by his father. The baby has a life-ending disease. One parent wants to cut the cord, the other wants to leave him plugged in until he gets better chances."
"If he ever gets better chances." Another added.
"Nobody's forcing you to prosecute." Lieutnant Benson conselled the lawyer.
"If I don't, I'm telling the world that baby Drew has no rights." He informed her.
"Rafael?" She called from the bedroom. Pushing the sheets back, she got up.
She found him in the living room, leaned back in an arm chair.
The man was so lost in thought, she wondered if he heard her. She wondered if he even remembered where he was, or if he has floated off into his thoughts and was not longer in his own body."
"Rafael?" She tried again.
He didn't respond to her.
Going back into the bedroom, she returned with his comforter wrapped around her. There was a couch directly across from him, and this is where she settled, snuggling deep into the king-sized blanket.
When he finally came out of his trance she would be the first thing he saw.
"Adeline?" He asked as she settled down. His gaze remained far off, and this felt like a long distance call from the far-away planet he was hiding out on.
"Hmmm." She moaned, pulling the comforter to block out the light.
"What would you do?" His voice cracked. "If-if we ever..."
She looked up at him, at the wet tears gathering in his eyes. "I couldn't keep anyone or anything in that kind of pain."
"They still hope ... hope that he will ..."
"Hope, is a thin strand to hang your entire life on, Rafa." She thought out loud. "It won't hang you, but it can choke you, or perhaps worse, it will leave you falling into ... whatever you've worked so hard to get away from."
"If it were me? Or our son?"
She shuffled under her cocoon for a few moments. "I'd kiss you, hold your hand, and pull the plug. I would so the same for our children. No one deserves pain."
"He has no brain activity."
"Then is he alive?"
He finally focused on her. "Deliberate."
"He has no brain activity. He doesnt hear his parents, he doesnt feel wind or sunlight. He will never see snow or lions." She shifted on the couch. "Pain is a nerve resonse, it is a base feeling. He will always feel pain and he will never feel anything else. Unless they give him meds then he will become dependant on the medication just to keep from feeling pain."
If possible, his eyes grew sadder still. "The letter of the law is so specific, like whoever wrote it was not feeling anything at all."
"They probably were not feeling whatever you and the Householders are going through right now."
'late night at the office?' Read the text from Adeline Preston.
Rafael sighed. 'Yes.'
'The baby case?'
'Yes.'
'Do what you have to do, Rafa. Then come home and try to sleep.' She sent. 'I love you.'
'I love you.' He sent back, sighing as he remembered what Jack McCoy told him.
Getting up, he walked out of his office.
"He can't breathe without a machine." Mrs Householder cried. "He can't eat without tubes. He can't see. He can't hear. And I could have prevented that and I chose to be righteous." She sobbed loudly in the hospital room. "Why? Why can't he just die?"
Rafael felt like the sea of indecision and guilt inside of himself just came to a standstill. "He can." He mumbled out loud.
Maggie Householder looked at him.
The lawyer nodded.
The slim blonde woman became still, looking down at her baby as she walked over to the ventilator. Her hand hovered over the button for a matter of moments before she collapsed crying.
Rafael caught her. "Okay. Okay." He tried to sooth her, "All right, all right, okay okay okay." He took a deep breathe. "Oh, God. Maggie, Maggie you should go."
"I can't leave him."
"Maggie, go." He helped her to stand. "Go, please."
She seemed to resign herself to what he was saying. Slowly she walked out of the door, leaving the Attorney alone with her baby.
Rafael Barba looked down at the baby. Silently he crossed the baby, in the blessing he had been taught.
He smiled softly at the child.
Reaching over to the ventilator, he tried to steel himself against what he had to do.
Adeline woke to the sound of the door opening. "Rafa?"
There was shuffling as he set down his briefcase. Put his coat on the hook. He walked into the dark bedroom as though he did not even notice.
Adeline sat up, clicking on her bedside table.
The older man slid out of his shoes next to her closet and tossed his blazer over a chair.
She watched his operate on autopilot.
His eyes were red and he didn't say anything to her as he stripped out of his suit and pulled back the covers on what had been designated 'his side' of her bed.
"Rafa?" She tried as he laid down, staring at the cieling.
"I ..." He tried.
"The baby?" She asked.
He didn't answer her.
"He isn't suffering anymore?" She asked, pulling her knees to her chest beside him.
He shook his head as even more tears welled up in his eyes.
"Who is representing you?" Adeline asked, opening the newspaper on the table.
He sighed. "I've tried so many cases in this city."
"Shall I get the phone book and start naming them off?"
"Probably choose one that has beaten me."
She nodded, accepting the coffee he brought her.
"Randy Dworkin, I think." Rafael settled in the seat across from her.
"Would you like me to go?"
"I'd like you to stay as far away as possible, Adeline." He tried. "We are not public now, I don't want our relationship coming out in this light."
"We aren't exactly hiding."
"Your customers- your readers, won't like you being with a baby killer."
"You aren't a baby killer. You acted mercifully."
"New York Times Bestselling Authors can't make that decision." He warned. "Besides your fans won't all agree with you."
"So the trial?"
"I do not want you there either."
She nodded. "I can go stay at my apartment until this is all over."
Rafael walked into his apartment. Going through the motions, he came to find Adeline in his study at her laptop.
She turned to him, her fingers slipping off of the keyboard.
"Not Guilty." He told her.
She nodded. "What now?"
"I'm going to finally get some sleep. Everything can wait until I wake back up."
"I'll be right here whenever you need me."
A/N. I wanted to get through "The Undiscovered Country" (S19E13) all at once. The episode was not completely relevant to my story but after it came out I had to incorporate it. It sets the timeline and also provided extra scenes.