A/N: I ramble a bit in this chapter. Sorry for that. Next chapter we'll get into Sam Lane's crimes. Trigger Warning* Lucy remembers the first time her father abused her.
Waking up next to a naked Alex Danvers was something Lucy could get used to. Especially at this hour. Alex was still asleep, on her stomach with her arms hugging the pillow underneath her head. Her back was exposed and the sunlight streaming through the window gave Alex a nice glow.
Given the heavy topics of last night they probably shouldn't have had sex. Lucy didn't regret it at all but that wasn't how she had wanted their first time to go. Lucy had let her emotions control her actions last night. She needed to forget the things she had talked about and the things she was starting to remember, and she let Alex be that distraction. And what a distraction it had been.
"Are you watching me sleep?"
Alex's voice was still scratchy from sleep. Her voice in any form was the sexiest things Lucy had ever heard. Sleepy Alex was one of her favorite things. What sleep did to her voice was just an added bonus. "I might be. Watcha gonna do about it?"
Alex popped open one eye and looked at Lucy for a second before closing it. "Nothing. I haven't had my coffee yet. What time is it anyway?"
Lucy looked at the clock and was surprised that it was still early. "It's only a few minutes past seven. Honestly surprised you weren't up before me."
Alex rolled onto her back, ran a hand through her hair before leaning back into her pillow. "Normally I would be but no work today means I get to sleep in. Stop staring at my tits Lane."
"Hey, you left them uncovered so they are fair game, and I must say they are mighty fine." Before she could ask Alex why she wasn't going into work a pillow came flying at her head. She took one look at Alex and started laughing uncontrollably. The scowl she was trying to produce wasn't working very well. Lucy was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. She saw Alex make a move to get out of the bed. Lucy stopped her by straddling her waist.
"I'm sorry for laughing but sleepy Alex is one of my favorite people. Also, you don't hate me staring so stop trying to act like you do." She cupped Alex's face in her hands and leaned in for a kiss. "I'm sorry for laughing but you can't make yourself look intimidating when your half asleep. What do you say I go make us coffee, bring it back to bed and you can tell me why you aren't going into the DEO today?"
"Sounds good to me." Alex watched as Lucy walked to the kitchen. She let her eyes linger on Lucy's backside. She chuckled to herself when Lucy purposefully put a little more sway in her step. Her girlfriend knew her all too well. Alex wasn't going into the DEO, but she did want to check her emails to see if anything would need her attention ASAP. The only new email she had was from Pam and all it said was 'Take care of our girl'. That put a smile on Alex's face. Pam had always liked Lucy. She did send a quick text to Vasquez to thank them for talking to Pam and helping her get this day off so she and Lucy could talk some more or do anything but talk about the things Lucy had started remembering last night.
Before she could hit send she heard her sister squeal. Wait Kara wasn't due back from Argo City for a few more days. Alex looked toward the kitchen and sure enough there was Kara covering her eyes because Lucy was standing naked in the kitchen. If it had been anyone else but Kara she wouldn't have found this situation funny. She would have been offended that her girlfriend wasn't making any attempt to cover herself up either. But teasing the Danvers sisters was Lucy's favorite pastime.
"Oh, come on Kara it's not like you haven't seen a naked body before."
"That isn't the point Lucy. I don't need to know what my friends look like with their clothes off. So, can you go and put something on?"
Lucy picked up the other coffee mug and walked back toward the bedroom. She handed Alex her mug and climbed back into bed with her. "Well considering you came barging in here, unannounced I don't think I have to. Alex and I had plans that didn't consist of clothes being put back on until we felt like it today and your kinda interrupting that."
She looked at Alex and started counting down with three of her fingers. It took three seconds for Kara to register what Lucy had said. She took her hand from her eyes and whirled around to look at Alex and Lucy in bed.
"Wait…Oh my god! Lucy your back home!"
"You've been telling me to put some clothes on but hadn't registered that it was me until now. I should be offended."
"No, I knew it was you, but I guess I forget that you had been gone. But that doesn't explain why your naked in Alex's apartment."
Alex and Lucy looked at each other then back at Kara. Alex should feel bad that she was torturing her sister but this was what she got for coming in unannounced. Thankfully this situation had never happened with Maggie. That was probably why Kara had come in unannounced she hadn't expected to walk in on anyone but Alex. She saw the wheels turning as Kara was starting to piece things together.
"Oh…right…well, um I'll just go then. Alex call me later. If you're not preoccupied with other things. Lucy glad your back home. We'll have to schedule a game night soon now that your back."
Kara was about to fly out the window, but Lucy caught her just in time. "Kara I would appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything to anyone about me being back in town. I've only been back for two days and I'm not ready for everyone to know yet." Kara nodded before taking off.
"Do you think she put it together that you and I are together or do you think she thought this was a hook up?"
"Kara most definitely thought this was a hook up. That's why she got awkward. Well that and the fact that we were both naked and not exactly making an effort to cover ourselves up."
"You going to call her later or do you think you'll be preoccupied later?" Lucy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Alex just rolled her eyes, "Even if I'm not preoccupied later I'm not calling her until tomorrow. Serves her right for coming in here without knocking."
"Did she ever walk in on you and Maggie?"
"Thankfully no. But she knew I was with Maggie which I think was the issue just now. She had expected me to be home alone, so she figured she would surprise me with the fact that she is back home."
"Speaking of Maggie, I ran into her at the grocery store yesterday."
Alex tried not to tense up but it happened anyway. She took a sip of her coffee, Lucy had always been good at making coffee. Come to think of it Lucy was good at almost everything in the kitchen. Now she was just avoiding responding to Lucy. Why did mentioning Maggie fluster her so much? It had been almost a year since she had ended things.
"What did she say?"
"She said to tell you hi. Look I know Maggie is still a touchy subject for you and we don't ever have to talk about her, but I did like Maggie as a person. I still want to be friends with her. I won't talk about her around you or bring her here but I also didn't want to hide that from you either."
Alex smiled. Maggie had gotten along with Lucy really well. Other than Winn, Lucy was the only one of her friends that Maggie had gotten along with really well. "I appreciate that and you being friends won't be an issue. You both always got along so well. Maggie doesn't have many friends in National City. Since your back it would probably be good for you both if you hung out. But keeping her away from here is probably a good idea at least for now."
"She's happy for us you know. Said she always knew that I liked you and had hoped that when you ended things with her you would have enough sense to wait for me. She also told me that if I hurt you she would hunt me down and make me forget my own name."
She shouldn't be surprised but she was. The only reason Maggie would threaten Lucy was because she still loved her. "Did she say why I ended things?"
"No just that you both wanted different things."
Alex finished what was left of her coffee and put her mug on the night stand. She and Lucy had only been together for two days if she found out now that Lucy didn't want kids it would crush her. She leaned back against the headboard and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked out into the kitchen. She couldn't look at Lucy while she told her this. She was already having a hard time holding back the tears.
"I know Maggie and I rushed things and it was my fault. I impulsively asked her to marry me. We never talked about what we wanted for our future. I wanted to have kids and she didn't. We talked it out for days. She couldn't ever see herself changing her mind and I knew I couldn't stay with her just because I loved her. I want to be a mom, whenever the time is right and if I had stayed with her I would have ended up resenting her down the line and we would have ended things anyway."
Kids wasn't on her list of reasons why Alex had let Maggie go. Lucy was surprised that Maggie wouldn't want kids. She would make a great mom, but she also wasn't Maggie and there had to be a reason Maggie didn't want kids and it had to be a pretty good reason. She willingly let the woman she loved go. The fact that Alex was so steadfast in her decision that she would let Maggie go spoke volumes.
Judging by Alex's body language right now this was still a touchy subject. Knowing Alex she was worrying about Lucy wanting kids. They had been together for two days. They weren't exactly taking things slow. But then again, they had been avoiding their feelings for a long time so moving in together and saying I love you wasn't a big deal. Talking about having kids was a conversation that, given the circumstances, was a few months off at best.
Alex still hadn't turned her gaze from the kitchen. Lucy knew she had to word this carefully because she didn't want to upset an already fragile Alex. She got out of bed and started pacing. She didn't want to ruin this. They had just started and were talking about things you wouldn't normally talk about so soon. She decided that the truth was her best option.
She climbed back into bed and faced Alex. "When you said you ended things with Maggie it never once crossed my mind that you would have ended things because she didn't want kids. Alex can you look at me?" Alex turned her head toward her and Lucy could see the fear in her eyes. Alex had convinced herself that she was going to tell her she didn't want kids either.
Lucy placed her hand on Alex's thigh and held her gaze. "We've been together for two days and normally this would be something that would come up later. But obviously normal isn't how we're going in this relationship. I'm going to be taking a big risk telling you this and I hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later." Lucy ran a hand through her hair. Took a deep breath and went for it.
"I told you that I loved you last night and I do. Alex I've loved you for so long that I don't remember a time when I didn't. I know your it for me. I know I'm going to marry you one day. I also know that I want to have as many kids with you as you want. On a particularly rough night in Russia I had a dream about us. There was a child that was maybe three years old that looked just like you running around the kitchen. You were walking toward me holding a baby that couldn't have been more than six months old that looked like me.
"That dream brought me so much joy and at the time a deep ache in my soul. You were still with Maggie. I think it was a few days later that I got your voicemail about your break up with Maggie. The point is Alex I want a life with you. Kids included when the time is right."
She had thought things with Maggie had moved fast but with Lucy things were moving at an even quicker pace. "I'm sorry for my reaction. It's just the thought of having to go through the pain of losing someone I love all over again because they would never want kids was too much."
"I get that. Well the pain part. It was so hard for me to be around you and Maggie in the beginning. I had fallen for you so hard but out of respect for you I wasn't going to push you on your sexuality. If I had known that all I had to do was merely suggest that I thought you were gay I would have said something sooner. I got over it eventually because Maggie was good for you and there is no way you could stay mad at someone with that incredible dimpled smile."
"Yeah that's what got me initially she does have a killer smile. So, about what you said, you really want a life with me?"
Lucy smiled fondly at Alex, "Yeah when we've both worked through our baggage and the time is right I want to marry you. Get a house, maybe a dog and have as many kids as you want."
"I like the sound of that." Alex took the hand that Lucy had put on her thigh and rubbed her thumb across it. "Speaking of baggage do you want to continue last night's conversation, or do we want to table it for now and just go with the flow today?"
Today was going to be a deep day if they got into the abuse Lucy had received as a child. She wasn't sure if she was ready to relive those memories in full yet. She also didn't want to put it off either. She thought about it for a minute and came to a conclusion. "I can't talk about it today. I still haven't even processed everything because I had suppressed the memories. I want to take you out to brunch and act like a normalish couple."
"Alright brunch it is. Take a shower with me?"
"That is something I will never say no to Danvers."
One shower and an hour later they were walking hand in hand down the street. It was a beautiful Thursday morning in National City. Walking had been Lucy's idea. The place she wanted to take Alex wasn't that far from their place and it was such a nice day so there was no use in wasting it. They had gotten a few looks from passersby but most of them had been unproblematic. Most of the people had seemed impressed by the couple walking past them.
Alex couldn't blame them. She was wearing her usual attire. Jeans, boots, cotton shirt and a leather jacket. Lucy was wearing skin tight jeans, boots, and a light grey V-neck t-shirt underneath a navy-blue blazer with the sleeves rolled up.
It didn't take much for Lucy to look sexy as hell. That was something that came effortlessly for her. The first time Alex had seen Lucy in sweat pants and a ratty old Army t-shirt she had thought she was the sexiest woman on the planet but pushed those thoughts away because those weren't the thoughts that you should be having about your best friend.
They walked into The Brickroom, and thankfully were seated at a table on the patio. This was Lucy's favorite place to get brunch in National City and she knew Alex loved their chicken and waffles. Once the server had taken their orders Lucy started the conversation.
"You know I've been meaning to tell you I like your hair. What made you change styles?"
"Just needed a change. It was the same night I dyed the tips of Ruby's hair. She missed her mom and I was still sad about Maggie and she had always wanted to dye the tips of her hair. After that we had a rather serious conversation on the couch about Maggie and she made the suggestion of getting my hair cut. It was a good decision. It felt like the beginning of a fresh start and it kinda was. Plus, it's much easier to take care of."
"Amen to that. Speaking of Ruby did you ask Sam about me being around her?"
The server dropped of their drinks and Alex took a sip before answering Lucy. "I did, and she said it was ok. Also, was impressed with how considerate you were and that it was unnecessary. She's heard so much about you already she can't wait to actually meet you. I should see if she and Lena a free next week and invite them over."
"You and Lena are friends now?"
Alex nodded her head, "But not exactly close. I hired her to help at the DEO on some projects since Winn is away with Mon-El trying to save the future."
"Speaking of Mon-El has your sister gotten her head out of her ass about Lena yet?"
Alex snorted and shook her head, "She's a Danvers we like to stay oblivious for as long as possible when it comes to romantic interests. After the fight Supergirl and Lena got into months ago I doubt it would work between them anyway. In order for them to be in a relationship Lena would have to know Kara's secret. Lena would be crushed and wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore."
Lucy just shook her head. Alex had told her about the fight last night during dinner. Her brother in-law and Kara had superiority complex a mile long. Kara and Clark could only be killed by one substance and they freak out about it anytime someone has some. The soldier in Lucy knew that kryptonite was needed to take down some bad Kryptonians to help save the planet. The friend in her understood why Kara had freaked out about Lena not telling her she had kryptonite in the first place. But demanding she get rid of it when she hadn't done anything wrong with it was ridiculous.
"Well I still say they would make a great couple. How close are you with Sam?"
"Closer than Lena and I but not quite to the level of friendship you and I had before you left. While Sam, as Reign, was off terrorizing National City Ruby stayed with me. Once we knew Sam was free of Reign she asked me to stay with them for a while. Sam had nightmares for weeks. Some nights I was comforting her, other nights I was comforting Ruby. We got closer during that time. I was going to ask her out, but you came back and those thoughts vanished."
"Good to know I have that effect on you Danvers."
There server came back with their food. They ate in comfortable silence for a while. Lucy had missed this. Being away from civilization for a year and a half had left her feeling uncivilized in the worst way. The icing on the cake was being able to take her hot as hell girlfriend out and people to take notice.
Despite not wanting to think about the things that had happened over the last year her mind wandered there anyway. Why had her dad turned into the monster that he had? She knew the shift had happened after her mom died. Between her and her sister Lucy had always been the wilder more daring of the two. She was looking back on the first time her father had beaten her. All she had wanted was a snack and she had knocked over a bag of sugar that was on the counter. She was cleaning it up because she knew her dad would be mad.
He came in before she had cleaned it all up. He was furious. The same rage he had displayed yesterday was what he had looked like that day. He grabbed her arm and had yanked her off the floor grabbed her other arm and shook her. Then slapped her face a few times before telling her to finish cleaning it up.
She was taken out of her thoughts when Alex placed a hand on hers. She focused on Alex and tried to control her breathing. She had been so consumed by the memory that she hadn't realized that she was on the verge of a panic attack. She wiped away a few tears that had escaped. Why did her life have to be a mess.
"I know I can't get my dad locked up for all the things he did to me as a child, but I'll be damned if he gets away with the things he's done under the guise of orders from the government."
"If we can find proof. If we can't I'll make sure justice is brought somehow Lucy."
She had every faith that Alex would make sure that would happen.
They spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch catching up on the shows Lucy had missed while she was gone. They were about to start the next episode of Game of Thrones when Alex's phone rang. Lucy listened to Alex's side of the conversation and it sounded like it might have been Sam. It sounded like there had been a change in plans.
"It's Sam her meeting got moved to tomorrow morning. Her flight leaves at midnight. Ruby would have to spend the night is that ok?"
"Yeah of course. What time is she dropping Ruby off?"
"What time were you thinking of dropping her off?" Alex waited for Sam's response and laughed. "I miss her too. Since your flight doesn't leave until late and your dropping Ruby off around dinner time why don't you stay for dinner. I know Lucy would like it if you did."
Alex knew her all too well. She got off the couch and went to the kitchen to see what they had in the fridge. She had mainly picked up what she needed to make dinner last night but had picked up some other odds and ends. But she might have to go out again to get things that catered more to a kid's pallet.
She turned back to the living room and saw that Alex was off the phone. "What does Ruby like to eat. I'll probably have to go out and get stuff to make dinner again might as well get something we know Ruby will like."
"Well Ruby isn't picky. Oh, I should probably mention Ruby is twelve. She'll be thirteen in a couple weeks actually but as far as her favorite food you can't go wrong with chicken. She hates string beans but that's about it. She doesn't have any food allergies so we're good there."
"Got it I'll head out now and get what I'll need."
Lucy made it in and out of the grocery store in record time. She wanted to get back before Sam and Ruby arrived. She got back five minutes before Sam and Ruby. She was prepping the chicken when Sam knocked on the door.
Alex opened the door and Ruby flung herself at Alex. She watched Sam roll her eyes. Apparently, this was a normal occurrence. "Hey there tiger. If I didn't know better I would say someone missed me."
"I haven't seen you for weeks of course I missed you."
"Sadly, it will probably be that way for a while. Works gotten a little crazier in the last 48 hours but you're here now and we will make up for lost time. Go put your bags in the bedroom." She watched Ruby walk away then looked at Sam. "Hi."
Sam hugged Alex, "Hey, sorry about Ruby. She has been talking nonstop about this all week."
"It's ok I've missed her too, so I get it." Alex walked Sam toward the kitchen and motioned for her to take a seat. "Sam this is Lucy Lane, Lucy this Sam Arias."
Lucy wiped her hands on a towel and put her hand out to shake Sam's. "Nice to meet you Sam. So, tell me is it true that Alex and Kara talk about me a lot?"
"Oh yes. I would say the best story was how you arrested Alex for treason."
"Yeah not my finest moment but I did make up for it by breaking her out. Please tell me that isn't one of the stories you told Ruby?"
"No, we did manage to keep that one from her. Mostly told her about how you were the only one who could beat Winn and James at most of the games we played at game nights and a few other shenanigans we would get into."
That was when Ruby walked into the kitchen and notice Lucy for the first time. "Are you Lucy Lane?"
"I am, and you must be Ruby?"
"Yes, it's nice to finally meet you. Is it true you're a lawyer for the Army?"
"Yep and if everything goes my way I won't be anymore. Trying to get my job back with Alex at the DEO."
"That place is so cool. I know I can't talk about it with any of my friends. Alex and Lena helped save mom there. Alex even let me help in the lab running some of the tests on mom."
"Yeah Alex has a lot of cool stuff in that lab of hers. Did she show you the training room where she spares with Supergirl?"
"She let me watch one of their sparing sessions. Alex kicked her butt most of the time but Supergirl got Alex a few times."
Alex motioned for Sam to follow her to the couch. As much as she had missed Ruby she had missed her mom just as much. "How have you been?"
"Just as busy as you I think. But the nightmares are almost gone which is good. I was starting to get annoyed with the sleepless nights. So, Lucy Lane is back."
"She is."
Sam saw the twinkle in Alex's eye's. One night when they both couldn't sleep Alex had talked about Lucy and how she missed her. Alex never came out and said it but the way she talked about Lucy, she suspected that Alex had unrealized feelings about Lucy.
"What does that mean for the two of you?"
Of course Sam knew. Because everyone knew before Alex did. "You hadn't even met Lucy and you knew I had feelings for her. I feel like such an oblivious idiot. But then again, I think this was how it was supposed to go. She's only been back for two days and it's like she never left. I hadn't realized it until she let herself in and helped herself to some leftovers that since she went away I had a Lucy sized void in my life."
"Well I'm happy for you and I think it's safe to say Ruby approves. I know you know she looks up to you but its more than that. Over the last couple of months its changed into something more. She thinks of you a second parent. Truth be told so have I. It was nice having you around and I'm not saying you have to be around more, but I just needed you to know."
"Yeah I would be lying if I said I didn't think of Ruby like a daughter."
Sam was about to say something else but Lucy said dinner was ready. Now it was time to find out if Lucy was as good of a cook as Alex had said she was. For Alex's sake she hoped this was a permanent thing. She hadn't seen Alex this happy in a long time.