A/N: I swear I never update this fast. Please enjoy it while it lasts. While you were gone, Clarke and Lexa drank one more bottle of wine, and continued to (inadvertently) snuggle. Neither really remembers that much other than sitting closely together. Enjoy ~

Chapter 3 – Spiritual Uncertainties

Clarke paced back and forth between her bed and desk. "You should have been there, Raven," she shook her head.

Raven's voice came from the phone laying nearby, volume increased by the speakerphone. "From what you said, I'm not really sure I would've wanted to interrupt that." `

"Okay, I call you to reassure me, and this is what happens. Some help you are," Clarke scowled. She paced back and forth another few times, a constant motion that could preoccupy her limbs.

"The best you've got," Raven reminded her. "Okay so back up, you make pizza and drink wine, find a second bottle, and then cuddling on the couch afterwards means you've only just made a friend?"

"We were not cuddling, not at all," Clarke hissed fervently back. "You're taking this all out of proportion."

"Taking this all out of proportion would be assuming you guys had already jumped each other."

"Raven."

"What?"

"You're really making my anxiety skyrocket here," she said, taking deep breaths.

Clarke had woken up in her own bed the next morning, only a small headache from her alcoholic adventures of the previous night. She turned over to escape the morning sunlight and buried her face into her pillow. A warm smile crept on her lips, though, memories of crust-stuffing and television critiquing preventing her from being able to get back to sleep.

But Clarke's smile turned into a frown.

She'd known she was bisexual since high school, and was completely comfortable in her preference. She'd dated both men and women before, and none of her best friends looked the other way when she'd come out about it.

That was where Raven fit in – along with her other friends from high school, she'd been completely cool with it and literally hadn't batted an eye. In all her glory, Raven had, of course, asked if Clarke was trying to come on to her (which Clarke truthfully denied), and had inadvertently come out as gay herself. Perhaps it was one of the reasons she was so accepting, but Clarke couldn't be more thankful for her.

But then, there were exceptions. Your sexuality wasn't the first thing you told a new person about yourself, Clarke supposed, but when it did come out, it wasn't always perceived with grace. Other friends she'd tried to make at college made an effort to accept it, but the incorrect notion that Clarke would automatically be attracted to them seemed to be a problem. It was for this reason that she never denied her bisexuality to those who asked, but didn't necessarily care about anyone's opinion on it.

Raven convinced her that the insecure females Clarke had attempted to make friends with weren't worth it, and she'd agreed wholeheartedly. Of course, most of her male friends had thought it was something to sexualize, assuming she was into threesomes. This was not the case, and so she began avoiding ignorant people like it was her favorite new hobby.

Had she had a bit more tolerance for that sort of behavior, she might've made more friends at college. Though, she had Raven and some great friends from her art classes, and that was all she needed to be happy.

But now, there was Lexa.

Clarke really, truly hoped Lexa was one of the kinds of people who wouldn't leave her hurting. That wasn't the kind of vibe she was getting from her neighbor last night. It was 2017, after all, and perhaps that would mean there was a greater chance of Lexa being progressive enough to understand that she just wanted to make a friend, not immediately take her to bed.

Clarke smushed her face further into her pillow with a groan. And that was the other thing. It was kind of hard to convince someone you weren't attracted to them by bringing over wine and invading their space all night. Lexa was probably already calling the authorities to report a sexual predator.

Her thoughts kind of went out of control after that, and she called Raven in a panic. In hind's sight, it wasn't a great idea, but it was the best she had. She was now nervously burning a hole in her carpeted floors.

"Okay I'm really only kidding, Griffin," Raven tried. "Deep breaths. Did she seem uncomfortable?"

"No. A little? I don't know!" Clarke breathed, pacing back around her bedroom. "Not to be the one to defend drunken behavior, but you know how weirdly clingy I get. It's like I'm completely oblivious that I'm in your face until it's too late."

"This is true," Raven said, and Clarke could imagine her nodding. "I've seen many a boy take it as the signal to lean in and go for it."

Clarke let out a long, exasperated noise and collapsed face-down on her bed. "Oh my god. I've ruined a perfectly good friendship."

"Stop mumbling. Why do you care about being friends with her so much?"

"I don't know, she's really nice," she insisted. "Like, as painfully aware as I now am of being in her face half the night, it's not like she called me out on it or anything. So that's something. And she was the one who found the second bottle of wine after we finished the first. And her smile is surprisingly amiable."

"The witch can do more than frown?" Raven snorted. "Color me impressed."

"She was actually sweet. Really, we watched Netflix until the time change this morning, and her company isn't terrible at all," Clarke added, trying not to sound too dreamy about the prospect of keeping a female friend. "Oh, and we need to talk about this whole witch thing."

"First of all, I'm going to avoid pointing out the potential gayness of this whole situation out of respect for you," Raven said, and Clarke blushed though her friend couldn't see her. "Or at least until something actually gay happens-"

"Raven-"

"Second of all, please tell me she's a confirmed witch."

Clarke rolled her eyes, appreciating the subject change. "You know, you've made me paranoid."

Her friend gasped. "What happened? Did you witness her actually hexing someone?"

"Are you kidding? Nothing like that. Just little things, here and there. And it's not like I actually believe in magic-," she started, but was cut off by Raven's booing.

"Just belieeeeve," she insisted.

"Whatever, Ray. I'm going to hang up; you've done nothing to calm me down."

"Okay, in all realness - I've seen you drunk, but I've also been drunk at the same time. Trust me, if she drank as much as you did, she probably wasn't bothered in the least."

A spark of hope ignited in Clarke's heart, and another memory resurfaced. Lexa had warned Clarke that wine made the young woman touchy as well. The tight knot that had been furiously constricting itself further the whole morning blissfully unwound, and Clarke took a full, deep breath. "You're right. Thank you."

"I know," Raven said proudly, but laughed at herself. "Are you good now, Griff? I hate to leave but I just made it to work. Go enjoy the rest of your weekend off. Maybe with the hot girl downstairs."

"Raven."

"Seriously, I'm kidding. Maybe. You can befriend hot people. Bye!"

And she hung up. Clarke reached over to turn the speakerphone off and rolled over to stare at her ceiling.

Raven had a point. If Clarke hardly noticed how close they'd been at the time, it was likely that the other barely noticed either. And it certainly wasn't a crime to make friends with beautiful people.

Maybe she'd call Lexa.

Lexa had been pacing back and forth nervously between her desk and bed. Anya was on the speakerphone, trying to calm her down.

"It was kind of hazy, but oh my god, Anya. Why am I like this when drunk? Why?"

"Lightweight," Anya snorted into the receiver.

"Not helping, sis. There was two full bottles of wine."

"Look, you're worried you were flirty? Didn't you say she was too?"

"It was hazy," Lexa repeated. "And I wasn't trying to. I don't think she was trying to. Oh my god... What if she thinks I was coming on to her, Anya? Oh my god, oh my god-"

"Literally, stop," Anya interrupted, ever impatient. "Do you like her or not?"

"We just met."

"Doesn't answer the question. Is she pretty?"

Lexa blushed, incredibly thankful that they were separated by the distances between their phones. "That's really not the point. Look, I only want to be friends with her. It's like, a thing to be friends with your neighbor, I'm pretty sure."

"I still don't see why anyone that's that loud upstairs could possibly be attractive to you."

"Anya, I never said I was attracted to her."

"True. Now I'm imagining her as a horribly unattractive green ogre with gigantic, loud feet."

"Never said that either. Just... please help me stop panicking," Lexa begged.

Similarly to Clarke, she'd sat up soon after waking up and immediately worried about the entire evening. They'd been sitting far too closely together to be appropriate, Lexa decided. After finishing the first bottle of wine, she'd decided it would be a wonderful idea to find another in her fridge for Clarke and her to top off while they finished the first season of Black Mirror. Not that anything more happened than them continuing to sit very closely together while Lexa continued to ignore the proximity of Clarke's face the rest of the night, but still… For this reason, she felt mostly responsible for how weird the last night had been.

"Does she know how gay you are?"

"Why do you have to say it like that?" Lexa blushed further. Of course, like Clarke, she'd known of her sexuality at a young age. Put out, she added, "Of course not."

Anya used a gentler voice this time. "Then you don't have to tell her, if you're so worried."

Also like Clarke, Lexa was never one to outright yell that she was a lesbian when she made new friends. Which, let's face it, was not often. In fact, she barely told anyone. Not unless they could be trusted. She'd had significantly less luck being well-recepted in that department, and was pretty okay with only a handful of close friends and Anya knowing. After all, her sister didn't even have a defined sexuality. Anya had insisted that "questioning" was a sexuality in and of itself, and Lexa chose to respect that.

"I don't want her to even suspect it," Lexa mumbled, still worried.

"You sure you don't like her?" Anya asked. It wasn't meant to be nosy, and she said it in such a caring voice, that Lexa couldn't help but answer honestly.

"I'm not denying that she's cute, okay? But I barely know her, and I'm not falling in love anytime soon." Lexa picked up the phone and turned off the speakerphone, bringing her device closer to her ear.

"Alright, I believe you," her sister conceded. "Just, if you're serious about making a new friend, don't do that thing where you avoid them instead because you get nervous. That kind of creates the opposite effect."

Lexa, with a self-depreciating laugh, expressed her gratitude. "I'll try my best. Thanks, mom."

"Oh, stop."

"No really, thank you for helping. I feel kind of better," Lexa shrugged, though her sister couldn't see.

"And remember, sometimes it's just a drunk thing. People get affectionate, and it's nothing to worry about. When in doubt, blame it on the alcohol. Repeat it with me, -"

"Thank you, Anya," she interrupted. Weirdly enough, their conversation had cheered her up.

"No problem. I'm at my coffee shop, so I'll talk to you soon, kid."

"Later."

Lexa hung up and threw the phone on her bed. Soon after, she decided to follow its path and flop on her back. Alarmingly she heard a similar thud on the floor above her, and wondered what Clarke was doing.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone buzzed underneath her again. Lexa brought the phone up to her ear without checking to see who it was. "Anya? Did you forget something?"

A voice with a slightly rougher tone than her sister's came out of the receiver. "No, it's uh, Clarke. Is this Lexa?"

Lexa swallowed down her shock and only took a moment before answering. "Oh! Hi! Yes, uh, it's me. Lexa."

They'd exchanged numbers last night? Oh, yes, Lexa remembered, when she was helping Clarke out the door. The blonde had wordlessly reached for her phone and gave Lexa hers, the two automatically entering their contact information. She'd almost forgotten, mostly due to the fact that she'd immediately fallen asleep after her neighbor left.

"Okay cool," came the voice on the other end. Lexa could hear the way Clarke smiled when she spoke, and it was contagious. "Well, I wasn't exactly sure if you were free or not, but I was thinking maybe I could actually give you your shirt back."

"Wonderful suggestion. I actually forgot to return your shirt, too, so I think that makes us even. Want me to come upstairs?" she asked, not sure of what Clarke had planned.

"Yeah, why not. Do you know the way?" she joked.

"I think I can handle it," Lexa said. "If not, I've got Google Maps on my phone."

"Good for you, being prepared."

"I'll be up in an hour and a half."

"See you then, Lexa."

"Bye, Clarke."

Lexa hung up the phone and held it on her chest, her earlier worries forgotten. Clarke inviting her up was definitely a good sign. And since there was no alcohol involved, practically nothing could go smiled and pushed herself off the bed.

Breakfast was eaten, a shower was had, and Lexa was soon heading up to her neighbor's apartment. Her first time walking up the stairs really made her feel sorry for how Clarke had to climb them every day. At least she was probably in shape.

Standing in a light day dress, she rapped her knuckles on the door a few times, suddenly just a bit nervous to see her new friend again. She focused instead on what Clarke's apartment must look like. Lexa didn't have to wait long to find out when the blonde in question swung the door open a few seconds later. With a smile, she greeted, "Hey! Come on in."

She walked into the apartment and her nose was filled with the smell of paint and various art supplies. It was not unlike her high school art classroom, but she found it was mixed in with the scent of cinnamon and a warm, lived-in apartment. Piles of unfinished art pieces stood leaning on a shelf holding several sketchbooks. Recycled containers of various types held rows of colored pencils, paint brushes, and other tools she couldn't quite name. A tarp was laid down in the corner of the living room (which she realized was half-converted into an art studio) and Lexa imagined Clarke working on the contents of her portfolio on the couch nearby.

She followed her neighbor into a mirrored version of her own kitchen. This one had similar kitchen chairs in a different color, and Lexa, after sitting on one, realized she was being offered tea.

"Sure. Earl grey, please," she accepted, and noticed that Clarke was staring at her dress. "Is there something wrong?" Lexa felt as though she was asking that question a lot lately.

"What? Oh, it's nothing. I've just never seen you in clothing that wasn't, like, dark," Clarke replied, tilting her head at the dress, and then snapping it up. "Wait, I hope that didn't come out rudely. It looks nice."

"I do happen to have lighter colors in my wardrobe," Lexa sniffed, but mockingly. "I rarely choose to wear them, it's true. But look at what a nice day it is out. It's spring and sunny. It felt appropriate."

Clarke laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you defend your wardrobe choices. Like I said, it really looks good on you."

"I'm flattered," Lexa hummed and accepted the cup of tea she was handed.

Clarke herself was wearing grey capris-sweatpants that looked as comfortable as anything, complimented with a white t-shirt and dark hoodie. There was a little patch on the sleeve, Lexa noticed, that had a paint spill on it. She was looking at the sunlight that filtered through the sunroof (that Lexa refused to acknowledge she was jealous of, as her apartment definitely didn't have one), oblivious of the halo appearing in her blonde hair from the light. It was sort of a beautiful phenomenon.

"It is a nice day outside," her neighbor was saying. Clarke turned back to her. "Okay, hear me out. I know I got you up here to swap shirts, which we will do this time, but I'm also in favor of taking advantage of the weekend to further our new friendship. What do you think?"

Lexa blinked. "What did you have in mind?"

"How about a walk in the park?" Clarke asked. "Central."

That kind of furthering, thank god, Lexa sighed internally. "I would actually love to. I finished all my homework, so I'm good to go."

"Wonderful. We can finish our tea, of course," she added as an afterthought. "I'll get your shirt from my room."

Whilst Clark retrieved the silk material, Lexa reached into her own bag she'd brought along and pulled the once coffee-soiled top out.

Upon her return, Clarke gasped, "You got the stain out? Oh Lexa, thank you. Seriously. This is one of the few nice shirts I can actually afford on my salary."

"No problem. I know a thing or two about how to remove stains. Not to brag, but I was a pretty hectic child. Lots of mud and blood stains to take care of," Lexa boasted.

"Ooh, I'm impressed," Clarke whistled. "But seriously, there's not even a hint of a stain. No remnants, nothing. What kind of witchcraft-," she started, but then stopped.

"It was the magical power of knowing not to let the stain set," Lexa shrugged, and sipped her tea.

Clarke grinned at her then, and put her own shirt back in her room. "Sorry for the mess, by the way. I'd lie and say it's usually way neater, but this is actually a good state of cleanliness for my apartment."

"I couldn't care less, Clarke. It's homey, lived-in. My apartment could really use that touch," Lexa sighed.

"Are you kidding? Your apartment is gorgeous. Very fancy."

"You can thank my sister for personally decorating it. I really didn't bring a lot of my stuff from home, so she decided it needed her version of a homey touch. Which means, apparently, lots of useless decor."

"It's very fancy," Clarke repeated.

Lexa her a look of disbelief, and so she continued, "Seriously, I was in awe when I came in. I'm sure you can fix it up better. If you want, I could paint you something for your apartment."

"Seriously?" Lexa perked up at Clarke's offer. "You'd be up for that?"

"Yeah!" Clarke offered. "A painting, a mural, really anything. Free of charge. It's not like I hate painting, if you hadn't noticed."

"Free of charge," Lexa repeated with a frown.

"I told you last night, we're proper friends." Clarke had dropped into the seat next to her sometime during their conversation, and she'd briefly laid a hand on Lexa's arm to further convince her.

Lexa glanced at the hand and then gazed into pleading blue eyes. The hand soon dropped and she realized she should respond to Clarke's insistent look. "Yeah, okay."

She was rewarded with a wide smile, a tongue just barely peeking out between teeth. "Brilliant. We'll sort out the details later."

Once both teacups were emptied, the two women exited the apartment and made their way down the detested stairs. They stopped only to allow Lexa to throw her shirt in her own apartment, grab a leather jacket, and don a pair of sunglasses.

"Ready?" Clarke asked as Lexa locked her door.

"Ready," she turned and smiled.

A/N: Thank you so much to those of you that have read so far! I really do appreciate it. However, I haven't gotten any feedback here, so I'll probably continue only to update it on the AO3 site under the name bright_gay_of_sunshine. Thanks for sticking with it so far, and give me any positive feedback if you can.