Rapid Revelation
DISCLAIMER: "Pride and Prejudice" will forever be beyond my reach, whether it is Ms. Austen's delightful novel or Joe Wright's 2005 film adaptation. This is merely a humble tribute.
NOTE: I'm back. It took a few years, but this story will be continued.
"Apologies for the delayed update" seems so inadequate in this case but I apologize nonetheless. A lot has happened in the last few years (including many other stories and a few new fantoms), and I confess I lost sight of this story for a while. Every year one of my resolutions would be to update this fic, but at one point, I wasn't really sure of which direction it would take. But that's all over now. I have the rest of the story outlined and I am determined to conclude it by the end of this year. So there will be a new chapter at the end of every month. I am committing to that.
Since I got rid of the big proposal confrontation, I struggled with how Darcy would become aware of his failings. Elizabeth is clearly improving her opinion of him but much of their relationship is also about him realizing his faults and working to change them. So that's what I hope to achieve here. And I conveniently had Wickham reveal his dastardly self early in the story so that we could get that out of the way and prevent Lydia from running off with him too.
So I know some of you have probably (understandably) forgotten about this story but for those who are still reading, thank you for your patience, and please let me know what you think. Enjoy!
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"My dear Charlotte, what a lovely day for a stroll around the park," Elizabeth said excitedly. Her companion was quick to agree.
"I confess I am glad for some sunshine after being confined to the house for several days," Charlotte replied with a smile.
"The weather has been most unforgiving," Elizabeth remarked, "So dark and dreary. I am glad that the sun has finally decided to shine on us once more."
They had decided to make the most of the fair weather by exploring more of the parsonage's surroundings. Elizabeth had been growing restless and even ever-patient Charlotte was yearning for some more fresh air.
She also realized that her friend's visit would soon come to an end and she was determined to spend as much time as she could with Lizzy. Life as a clergyman's wife did not afford many opportunities for amusement and Charlotte sometimes felt starved for company, something that she had never experienced when she still lived in Hertfordshire.
There was much for them to talk about and Mrs. Collins was particularly curious about the changing opinion her friend had towards a certain gentleman. Lizzy had always been so certain about her judgments of others, something that Charlotte had often warned her about. But lately, the second eldest Miss Bennet seemed to be reconsidering her stance on such topics.
Elizabeth was in good spirits because of the fresh air, sunshine, and the simple appeal of the outdoors. She was determined to enjoy nature's splendor, such as it could be enjoyed in Kent. There was much to occupy her mind as of late and being alone with her thoughts and changing feelings was becoming quite a burden.
"What news from Longbourn?" Charlotte inquired, knowing that Elizabeth had recently received some letters from home.
Jane remained in London but received accounts of the rest of the family from Mary and these she shared with Elizabeth. The Bennet sisters were accustomed to knowing what was taking place in their family although as they grew older, they also became more guarded about their true feelings.
"Not much to report," Elizabeth replied, "Jane says Mama continues to scout for eligible young gentlemen while Mary continues to practice diligently while Kitty and Lydia's diligence is directed towards parties and officers."
Charlotte smiled as she remembered the frenetic energy which always seemed to fill the Bennet household. Her life was much more uneventful at present, even with occasional visits to Rosings. Lady Catherine's company, while edifying, was far less pleasant than any of the Bennets.
"And how is Jane?" Charlotte asked, provoking a sigh from her companion.
"Patient and long-suffering as ever," Elizabeth replied, "Though she never complains, of course."
"So it seems her visit to London was not as fruitful as your mother had hoped for."
"No, indeed," said Elizabeth sadly, "And while I rarely agree with Mama's schemes, I was rather hoping that this one would succeed, if only for Jane's sake. She tries her best to hide her disappointment, but I know Jane."
"Ever the martyr, I see," Charlotte said sadly, "But do you suppose that we were expecting too much of Mr. Bingley?"
"I don't think so," Elizabeth said thoughtfully, "Jane had been careful about displaying her partiality but his attachment to her was evident to everyone."
She frowned as she suddenly remembered her recent discussion with Colonel Fitzwilliam on this topic and how this had led to her strange conversation with Mr. Darcy, right before the acts of heroism that had caused her such confusion about his character.
"Lizzy? Is something the matter?" Charlotte asked with concern.
"I was just recalling something Colonel Fitzwilliam told me about his cousin," Elizabeth said carefully, "Something that, in light of recent events, has thrown me into quite a conundrum."
She recounted her conversation with the colonel to Charlotte and also expressed her uncertainty about Mr. Darcy now. Her friend listened patiently and did not share her own suspicions about Darcy's opinion of Elizabeth. The latter was far too confused to properly take such ideas into account.
"Mr. Darcy never ceases to puzzle me!" Elizabeth said in exasperation, "Whenever I think I have gotten a glimpse of his true character, he does something that throws me off balance."
"Perhaps your opinion of him has been influenced by other factors," Charlotte suggested.
"You might be right," Elizabeth conceded, "And I know that you are probably referring to Mr. Wickham. But surely you do not think me so easily fooled by outward charm?"
"I made no such accusation, Lizzy," Charlotte replied, "But I know that, back in Hertfordshire, where those two gentlemen were concerned, you were inclined to supper the one and despise the other."
Elizabeth laughed. "I suppose I was rather transparent about that. But I doubt I was the only one who fell victim to Wickham's charms. It matters little now, as he has proven to be quite the scoundrel."
"Indeed?" Charlotte asked incredulously, "So you have heard news of some misconduct on his part?"
"Everyone is quite shocked by his exploits," Elizabeth explained, "Apparently, he has seduced a young heiress and has convinced her to elope with him, much to her family's disapproval."
"And does this news disappoint you?"
"Not particularly," Elizabeth admitted, "And in all honesty, this does not even surprise me. I had always suspected that there was something mercenary about his pleasant manners but I had enjoyed his company too much to pay attention to my instincts. But now, the veil has been lifted, and everyone knows what kind of man he truly is."
"A man like that could not have been so outwardly amiable without some ulterior motive," Charlotte remarked, "So where does this leave the credibility of his history with Mr. Darcy?"
Elizabeth looked thoughtful. "This certainly puts that story into a new perspective," she said gravely, "And with all that has happened now, I am inclined to dismiss some aspects of Wickham's account or at least to afford Mr. Darcy the benefit of the doubt. He is clearly not the villain Wickham painted him to be."
"That is quite the change of heart, my dear Lizzy," Charlotte said knowingly, "You had been so determined to dislike him."
"I cannot deny it," Elizabeth replied, "Our first meeting had been hardly harmonious and I could not bear his arrogance, conceit, and condescension. He was always so taciturn and unsociable. No one seemed to meet his approval."
Elizabeth then looked very serious. "And I am certain that it was he who convinced Bingley that our family was so unsuitable and so caused Jane's misery."
Her tone had turned bitter and Charlotte looked at her in alarm. But Elizabeth had regained some of her composure.
"And yet," she said hesitantly,"I saw with my own eyes how he put himself in harm's way for a child, and now we know how much he has done to save a family whose circumstances are most certainly beneath him. How can one man be so full of contradictions? I cannot make sense of it at all."
Elizabeth sighed and Charlotte smiled at her sympathetically. "Why do you think he wanted to speak to you that day?" she asked.
"I have no idea," Miss Bennet replied earnestly, "I can barely recall what he said to me then, I had been so angry at him for interfering with Jane and Bingley and so surprised to see him there."
"You remember nothing at all of what he said?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I know that he said that he needed to see me for some urgent reason, though I cannot imagine what that could have been."
Charlotte could well imagine what it could have been but she said nothing. Could her friend truly be oblivious to the significance of Darcy's seeking her out? But Charlotte knew that Elizabeth Bennet could be stubborn, even in her ignorance.
"Oh, Charlotte," the baffled Bennet lamented, "It had been so easy to despise him then, when his pride had offended me and I had Wickham's poisonous words to support my unfavorable opinion. But I know now that I was wrong to have judged him so harshly."
"So you do not despise him, then?" Charlotte asked carefully.
"How can I when I believe I've finally seen who he is?" Elizabeth replied, "All this time that I've been trying to make out his character, I had been biased against him. I see now that he is capable of being kind and selfless, so different from the man we all thought he was in Hertfordshire."
"But you still have doubts?"
"I still cannot reconcile what he did for the Smiths and what he did to Jane and Bingley," Elizabeth explained.
"He must have had some good intentions for his actions there," Charlotte attempted to defend him.
"Perhaps, and I'm certain that Colonel Fitzwilliam believes so and even admires his cousin's actions," Elizabeth conceded hesitantly, "But knowing that does little to heal my sister's broken heart. And that makes it exceedingly difficult to forgive someone who has contributed to destroying her happiness."
Charlotte decided not to pursue the topic of Mr. Darcy further. She knew how much Elizabeth loved Jane and that her sister's welfare would always surpass any other concerns. But this conversation confirmed some of her suspicions about Elizabeth's evolving feelings. Charlotte had never known her friend to be so conflicted about another person and she fervently hoped for a happy outcome from all this.
"Let us set aside the mystery of Mr. Darcy for now, Charlotte," Elizabeth urged, some of her cheerfulness returning, "It is too fine a day to dwell on such perplexing subjects!"
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.
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"Mr. Darcy never ceases to puzzle me!"
The man in question had stopped in his tracks when he heard his name uttered by a familiar voice. He had been walking around the park in the hopes of seeing and speaking to her but knowing that she was not alone and that she was speaking of him made him reluctant to reveal himself.
Eavesdropping was beneath him and yet he could not resist the opportunity to learn what she truly thought of him. Despite all his internal struggles, he had been confident that she would accept his proposal when he finally found the nerve to make it. But it seemed that he was destined to be constantly interrupted in his attempts.
There had been moments on that fateful afternoon where he had felt almost certain that she returned his feelings - the genuine concern in he voice when she called out to him in the river and the relief with which she had greeted him when he returned. He had not imagined that and he had dared to hope.
But so much had happened to distract and delay him from his purpose. And as the days passed, his certainty decreased. And now that he had stumbled upon such a timely opportunity, he would have some idea of where he stood with her.
Suffice to say that the next hour was one of the most revelatory and humbling experiences of Mr. Darcy's life.
After Miss Bennet decided to drop the topic of "the mystery of Mr. Darcy", the subject himself also decided to wander off to another part of the park so that he could adequately collect his thoughts and feelings. He found a bench somewhere in the park and sat down to try and make sense of what he had heard.
So much of what he had believed to be true in the last several months were now exposed as his own mistaken notions and illusions. Never had he so grossly miscalculated anything in his life and he was overwhelmed by his own folly and pride. What he learned now threw their entire acquaintance into a new light and forced him to examine their interactions with greater scrutiny.
She had hated him. That was what struck him the most.
Even if her dislike had been lessened by his recent actions, it was clear now that there had never been any chance of her returning his feelings. All this time that he believed she would receive his proposal favorably, he had been so very wrong. He dreaded to imagine what the outcome of his first attempt would have been, especially since she had been angry at him for his role in separating her sister from Bingley.
Darcy could not blame his cousin for this revelation. Had Elizabeth accused him directly of it, he would not have denied his involvement. While it was clear that the lady could not appreciate his motives, he now understood that she blamed him for her sister's unhappiness. And having heard confirmation that Miss Bennet's feelings for his friend were deeper than he had supposed, Darcy now felt a twinge of guilt for having so effectively severed that connection. But he maintained that he had acted in his friend's best interests. However, he made a decision to rectify the situation as soon as he was able.
The issue of Wickham was, thankfully, already taken care of. The fool had revealed his true nature and now, to Darcy's relief, Elizabeth was no longer under any illusions about Wickham's character. He had feared Wickham's influence when he had seen them meet in Hertfordshire but he had hoped that Elizabeth would see through that man's duplicitous nature. But it was evident to Darcy that, for a time, she had been influenced by whatever erroneous account Wickham gave of his character and had so found a reason to despise him. Had Wickham's poison continued to affect Elizabeth, Darcy would have made his defense and exposed the man's history with his family. But there was less reason for him to despise Wickham now that the latter had effectively destroyed his own reputation in the eyes of the Bennets. At least in Elizabeth's eyes, Darcy was acquitted of wrongdoing in that case, but this gave the gentleman little comfort in the light of the other revelations.
As painful as it was to admit, Darcy knew that Elizabeth had been right about his arrogance and condescension. All his life he had believed his attitudes towards others as justified due to some mistaken sense of superiority. But now he realized how boorish that made him look and how his taciturn nature was preventing others from seeing his true character. This is what made it so easy for Wickham to slander him. His own snobbish habits turned people against him upon making his acquaintance, including, to his despair, the only woman he had ever truly loved.
There had never been any chance of her accepting him before he had rescued the Smiths. That proposal would have undoubtedly ended in a disaster.
But not all was lost. She had begun to reconsider his character because of his recent actions and the exposure of Wickham's deceit. He had no illusions of her ever accepting him now, even with the improved opinion of him. He was not so vain. All he could hope for was to make her not hate him. If he could but mend the other offense she had accused him of, then perhaps the acquaintance could be salvaged. He thought no more of himself and his desires but only of her happiness.
After some more reflection, Darcy stood up and resolutely made his way back to Rosings. He had come to an important decision. Since he seemed the power to facilitate the happiness of his friend and Miss Bennet, and by extension that of Elizabeth, he would make it so. That very evening, a letter was sent from Rosings to London, encouraging Mr. Bingley to seek out a certain young lady who was in town visiting her aunt and uncle.