Author: lilyme
Summary: Set in New York. Was it wise to be clinging to the past, to memories of an old them? Or should it all have been abandoned long ago?
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Grey's Anatomy". They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended!All mistakes are mine.
A/N: Happy Valentine's Day to all Calzona shippers!
There were things that she wasn't very good at.
And didn't like doing very much.
Organizing her closets and dressers was surprisingly such a thing.
She found that she sucked at keeping everything in its intended place, with shirts and pants roaming out to find themselves new spots to live in.
This happened whenever she had too much space to go around. Not because her closets were so huge they could fit an entire apartment block. But because she was using the room that was meant for two with the clothes of only one person.
Too much empty space that made clothes wander in desperate need for companionship, trying to compensate a loss.
But her clothes didn't have to suffer much longer. And today Callie had some much loathed reorganizing to do. For a very good reason.
"Sorry it's such a mess in here," she said to the approaching footsteps behind her, as she stood on the tips of her toes, rearranging her sweaters on the topmost shelf of her closet. "I didn't find the time to get everything ready".
"Come on, it's okay," the other woman said with an audible chuckle in her voice, as she carried a box into the bedroom. She found it endearing how anxious Callie could become over something like this. On any given day, the brunette's home probably looked way tidier than your average person's.
And even though she currently spent way more time than usual in her research lab at Heartmond Hospital in New York to get the finishing touches on her exoskeleton project, which was bound to revolutionize the world of medicine, her home in no way resembled a place of angst-inducing disorder and chaos.
And that could also be said about her wardrobe.
"So, um, I've got socks and underwear in this one. At least the box says so," the woman laughed as she placed said item on the ground. She was not always a hundred per cent certain which items had made their way into which box in the last steps of packing.
After Callie had asked her after four months of dating if she wanted to move in with her, she had not hesitated for one second.
There were so many advantages. Callie's apartment had more space than the one she herself had been able to find upon moving to New York a year ago. It was much closer to both their work places. And moving in together meant saving a lot of money.
But these were only the cold, economic facts.
What was even better was the prospect of them living together.
Again.
After all these years.
There certainly were jitters to be had about this step, considering their past.
But this was a new them. And this new them definitely deserved a new start into a home life together.
"Mm, sounds enticing," Callie laughed in return, referring to parts of the presumed content of the box.
She was so excited to be sharing her home with Arizona again. As was Sofia, who had been very open their rekindling relationship from the start and couldn't wait for them all to be living together again.
For now this apartment was perfect for the three of them. Barring the fact that they could hardly fit any of Arizona's furniture, so several things had to go into storage for the time being.
At some point they would probably start looking for a bigger place to accommodate them all, but that was not a priority right now.
"So, you said second drawer from top, right?" the blonde tried to recall as to where Callie had told her to stow her undergarments and went ahead to open said drawer.
Callie, temporarily distracted by her own task, only noticed with delay that Arizona did not remember all that correctly. And was about to open...
"Oh, no, wait, not that one," Callie hurried over with a movement of her hand that was to say Arizona should stop what she was doing.
But it was already too late.
And Arizona came face to face with... nothing much suspicious, really.
It was Callie's sock drawer.
"Hmm, nothing I haven't seen before," the blonde smirked, confused by the adorably abashed redness suddenly grazing Callie's features.
She turned her attention back the drawer, and on second glance noticed a black velvety box, about eight by ten inches sitting next to the assortment of socks on the right side of the drawer.
"It is about this?" she questioned. "If it's toys, you really don't have to worry," she shrugged seductively at her lover. "We're all humans. And it's not like we didn't use some before. Don't see why we shouldn't again sometime."
Callie was temporarily baffled by Arizona's alluring suggestion, and guffawed in amusement. "No, that... they're actually over there," she roughly pointed towards the nightstand, which was also equipped with several drawers.
"Valuable information," Arizona nodded in delight, while her hand subconsciously traced the smooth the surface of the mysterious box.
She had to admit... she was pretty curious to get to know more about the content. Solely due to Callie's peculiar reaction. But she wasn't going to push it. They each deserved their secrets – even living together, of course.
She was about to shut the drawer when Callie suddenly spoke. "Okay, you know what? Go ahead. Open it," she smiled cautiously, not having missed the woman's interest in this.
It was not something she was ashamed of or tried to hide. It just was something... she wasn't sure how Arizona would react to.
Chances were she would eventually see it anyway, and it was something... really, really not bad.
So why not do it now? Couldn't be weirder now than it would be at a later point, right?
"You sure?" Arizona wondered, wanting to reinforce Callie's permission.
"Yeah!" Callie nodded and sat on the bed to wait.
Arizona lifted the box from its hiding spot with tender hands, her curiosity piqued as she sat next to the brunette.
After a few moments of deliberation she removed the lid... and found herself perplex.
Because she caught sight of memorabilia of a time long years ago. And personal items she had almost forgotten even existed.
She found concert tickets from a Taylor Swift concert in 2010. The first concert she and Callie had went to together. It was their guilty pleasure. One they would certainly not admit to everyone.
She found one of the several scrap books she had made when she was a teen. This one being from the period she referred to as her punk rock era. It had little drawings, magazine clippings from singers and other celebrities she had fancied back then and even some poems the blonde had written. But most important of all it held pictures of her with unusually heavy eyeliner, dark t-shirts and ripped jeans. Once Callie had found this book, she had been unable to put it down. Mesmerized by Arizona's cuteness seeping through despite the appearance. And beyond fascinated by this unique insight into the mind of young Arizona. So fascinated that the blonde had not thought long about giving this book to Callie.
She found this really thick pair of knitted socks, which sported the most hideous green, gray, blue and red striped pattern ever. She had given it to Callie a few months into their relationship as a well-meant joke. Callie was the one with the ice cold feet in their relationship, and Arizona had often found herself fighting the urge to complain about icy toes against her calves whenever her lover held her as they slept. A part of her had feared that Callie would be insulted by this, but quite the contrary. She had worn them with joy, and even after the fabric had been ragged out from being worn God knows how many times, still had most obviously kept them.
She found a little jewelry box, which she didn't need to open to know that among other things it probably contained a heart necklace. A lot of people had laughed at them for wearing this matching items, but for them it had been their mutual show of love, belonging and care, and everyone laughing about it was just a fool who had never experienced this feeling.
And she found – to her utmost astonishment – tucked away at the bottom of the box – one of her old scrub caps. One in pastel tones that actually had butterflies on it. She had stopped wearing it shortly after coming to Seattle Grace, switching to a light pink one with little flowers instead. She thought she had thrown this old cap out. Actually remembered having put it on a pile Callie had prepared for the charity bin. But as it seemed now, the brunette had deemed it too valuable to be thrown out.
She sat with this box of 'her' in her lap. Of items that were not really the core of her being. Far from. But of pieces of her that apparently once had meant the world to someone. To Callie.
And maybe they still did.
"You kept all this," she stated as her fingers followed the patterns of her scrub cap.
And Callie sat beside her, worrying. Arizona didn't show any emotions that indicated how she thought about this... this... nostalgia? This desperate living in the past?
"I... I know... most of this didn't mean anything to you. The cap certainly didn't. Not like other surgeons who have their lucky caps. But I wanted to keep it. Because I saw you in it the day after the bathroom kiss. You were coming out of surgery. And you looked so proud and happy. I'll never forget that day. I think I fell in love with you right then."
This had actually been the first day she had seen her around the hospital at all. And while the cap itself was plain and unspectacular, it would forever remind her of the days she had met and gotten to know the blonde. Especially of the fact that she was not just an extraordinary human being, who went out of her way to dispel a total stranger's sorrow with a kiss – but also one of the most amazing doctors she had ever met.
Over the years items had been added, and they all meant no less to Callie.
But maybe more than they should have. Especially after they had broken up – for seemingly the final time.
And they probably meant more to her than Arizona was comfortable with.
"It's pathetic, I know," she cringed, and almost wished she had let Arizona assume the box contained adult toys for the time being.
"What? No!" Arizona was brought out of her own musings by Callie's evaluation and immediately calmed her with a vehement shake of her head. "No," she turned her body towards Callie, "it's really not. I find it sweet that you still have this. After all this time".
"So, you're not freaking out?" Callie questioned, somewhat relieved. She knew that to other people it probably seemed strange. And looked like a sign of being unable to let go.
Penny had certainly thought so when she had stumbled across the box while putting their clean underwear away.
Callie had to admit that it was a stupid place to stow something you didn't want your lover to find.
But maybe her subconsciousness didn't plan on it not being found by Penny. And maybe her reasoning about keeping it so that Sofia could have all this later – just like a pair of Arizona's wheely sneaks that sat in the back of her shoe drawer, somehow having made its way into her possession after the divorce – was really little more than easy to see through fib.
It had made Penny realize that Arizona still was much more to Callie than just the mother of her child.
It certainly had been a factor in their mutual decision to split up. And gave Callie the opportunity to try a new start with the woman still holding her heart.
The woman in question looked at her with a smirk that was tucked halfway between her teeth. Just like Callie remembered it when the blonde had something on her mind she wanted to share but also knew could mean trouble.
"What...?" Callie lured in amusement and tickled her fingers along the side of Arizona's thigh.
"I... uh, I might have kept a thing or two as well," she blushed.
"You did?" Callie queried surprised. Surprised that Arizona was just as much a nostalgic fool as she was.
"I still have the necklace too... And," the blonde began, her eyes coyly looking at the ceiling, "a couple of CDs we once made back then when people still had CD players," she laughed. They contained songs they had loved dancing to throughout the early years of their relationship. A wild mix of oldies and songs that had been brand new back then. They had used to dance for hours, only to end up in a heap of exhaustion and happiness.
"I think I still have a player somewhere," Callie wiggled her eyebrows, certainly not unhappy about the prospect of a little dance party. "What else?"
"Your kiddie Spanish book," she smiled lovingly. It was a book Callie – growing up bilingual – had learned to read with when she was little. At one point Callie had started teaching Arizona some Spanish, using this book among other things. And while it probably wasn't the best material to teach a foreign language to an adult, Arizona loved this book. It reminded her of lots of cozy hours snuggled together on the couch and studying. And it contained some doodles young Callie had made here and there of animals, flowers, people and whatever came to mind. "And, um, I have something else, and I hope you won't hate me for it," said the blonde and got up to leave the room, presumably to fetch the item.
Callie waited, wondering what it could possibly be.
She could hear rumbling... followed after a while by a bit of grumbling as apparently Arizona had trouble finding what she was looking for.
Then she heard a box or two crashing to the floor and became worried. "You okay?"
"Yup," Arizona announced and a few moments later emerged with a box that read...
"'Towels'?" Callie wondered.
"Hm? Uh, no," Arizona negated. "This is just the last box I packed, and it has some stuff in it I used till the last day like...," she opened the box and soon brought forth...
"Is that my sweater?!" The brunette exclaimed incredulously.
It was a garment so plain and simple. A normal woolen gray sweater. But it held so many memories for Arizona. She had loved cuddling with Callie wearing it and had during their time together sometimes worn it herself. And even during the difficult time of their divorce, Arizona's heart had wanted it. So she had snuck it out. And had frequently worn it herself since then. The sweater now being even more withered and having lost some amount of its original color. It was strange and nonsensical, but even after years of Callie wearing it last, Arizona found it still somehow smelled of her. And it always comforted her when she was having a bad day.
Arizona bit her lip, almost feeling she had to apologize. For taking this from Callie without asking.
At least the brunette didn't seem happy.
Long Moments later Callie's face twitched. "I knew I had seen it on you during that one video chat."
"Sorry?" Arizona said, hoping she could make amends somehow.
"Don't be," Callie returned and pulled Arizona into her lap. "It looks good on you".
"I know," the blonde returned cheekily as she put her arms around Callie. "So, um," she giggled as her lover used the opportune opportunity to kiss a long her neck. "Does it go on my pile or yours?"
"Sooner or later, it'll end up where it wants to anyway."
"True".
END