Chapter 3

Chloe

I'm laying around, as usual. Thinking about Max, as usual. I hate to keep going on about it but she's been back in Arcadia Bay for a while now and I haven't heard a peep out of her. Would she actually be uncomfortable coming over? Does she know how she could make my day just through stopping by? She'd make my day. My week. My month …

I suppose it's like my dad said - she thinks I'm upset over her pretty much going AWOL. I guess if I do see her again I might be a little bit of a bitch about it, but it hurts knowing you had this best friend, the best friend you ever had, and you've just became something sitting somewhere in the back of her mind. I guess I should be grateful she didn't forget me completely. Once in a while she'd send me something. Letters and postcards. Not wanting to deal with a full blown conversation over phone or text. Maybe she wants to forget me? I'd say I'd never let her forget but there's not much I can do stuck in this bed.

Max

I wake up far earlier than usual. I have over an hour before my alarm goes off. I think about Trevor, then Jefferson, Chloe, Jefferson again, then Danielle and Harriet from Seattle. I slip my hand down into my shorts but I can't get anything going. I'm lucky Victoria didn't press me on that one question when we were talking about who we masturbated over the most because truth is I don't treat myself often. Kate Marsh probably gets more hand action than I do.

I think about the Vortex Club party tomorrow, and I'm pretty much set because I'm wearing one of her dresses (I know it makes me look poor to borrow clothes, but she says she has too many dresses and asked me show one of them off for her – I just need to give her credit if anyone asks me how much it cost). Courtney's eager to doll me up and give the full makeover. I guess she's in on this Trevor surprise thing. I consider getting her alone and making her spill the beans, but more and more I want to hear it from Trevor. We could meet and tell each other we're being set up and the best thing to do is to just fall in love and start dating before the party and ruin Victoria's plans that way?

I'm back to thinking about my date with Jefferson and I've convinced myself it couldn't have gone better. Yes, I was a little lame but I'm pretty sure being a total whore isn't the way to make an impression on Jefferson. Jefferson seeing lame Max has probably killed off the horror of seeing slut Max, but it was my photography that got my foot in the door. I need to start putting in more effort into being a better student.

One thing that sticks out to me was how relaxed I was talking to him on my own. I'd always kind of dreaded being alone with him. I wonder if it'd be like that with Chloe? I'd be terrified at first but then I'd settle down and we'd start joking around instead. Like we used to. Chloe's the coolest person I've ever known. She's gonna bust my ass for sure, but with a smile on her face. I can play along and take it all on the chin. She always busted my ass and I loved her for it.

I lay in bed until I hear movement in the dorms and then I take a quick shower, get dressed and leave. Normally I'd meet up with Victoria and the gang before heading out but not today. My plan is to let on that I'm upset so Victoria will seek me out to apologize, something she won't want Taylor and Courtney around for, and then maybe I can grill her on her plan. But the main objective is to hang around and try and catch Trevor.

I check my texts. I have a few from Courtney, Taylor, my Mom (Complaining about my spending again) and Nathan (Reminding me about the pills he bought me. Telling I'm being rude by not taking them from him). I'm reminded about Hayden's text I first read in the Two Whales. He wants me to meet him in his dorm for something. I could sneak back and get this over with, but at this time in the morning Hayden is probably wandering around half naked, probably still nursing a major high from the night before.

Trevor might be in there too though. Would I be a stalker for showing up in the boy's dorms this time in the morning, while they're all potentially showering and walking around in towels? Maybe I'd be ballsy? Maybe I'd be slutty? I decide it's not worth the risk.

Jefferson

I have no reason to be at Blackwell this morning. I make a trip out to the Dark Room and make sure I'm prepared for Kate. I'm utterly engrossed in my thoughts lately. Kate is my main concern, but more and more I'm fascinated by someone else. There's an incredible subject in Max. She just needs a little polishing up. Max may be in love with me and would be so simple to manipulate. I suspect she may even become a willing subject.

A willing subject isn't ideal. The reactions are never truly genuine when they're shot. Some may have a natural talent for faking it and offer passable results. Although some agree to the drugs and absolutely regret it the moment they regain consciousness. That is a very intriguing situation. Their pleas take on different, more intimate tone. They feel betrayed and wounded and disbelieving. One day I'd hope to give those girls a separate place in my collection, but for now they're too much of a rarity.

I also don't like the in-built narcissism of a willing subject. But then I know I can overlook it. Maybe a part of me actually does like it. I think of Rachel Amber. She loved nothing more than being in front of the camera. She wanted to be admired. She broke so many of my rules. She was in many ways a girl I shouldn't have responded to, and yet she was one of my most compelling subjects. Our body of work was incredible, and it could've been so much more had Nathan not fucked it up.

Back onto Max. Unlike Rachel, Max isn't confident in her looks. I wouldn't consider her vain. She acts up to her lofty position in the Vortex Club, but this is a defensive posture. Underneath it all she's afraid and insecure. As a subject, even a complicit subject, I wouldn't expect narcissism. I wouldn't expect her to play up to the camera. I don't think she's capable of the act.

Furthermore, I don't believe for a moment Max is all that experienced sexually. I had always assumed the worst about her simply through her involvement with the Vortex Club and Victoria. I'd dealt with these girls for decades now and typically they get tossed around like beach balls. But after talking to her alone, seeing her unguarded and not wrapped up in the Vortex Club slut gimmick she puts up around her friends, my instincts tell me I would among her first serious sexual experiences. My instincts are not always correct though. I should talk to Nathan about Max, see if he can't confirm my reading of her.

Now if Max is as prudish as I suspect it'd be perfect. As a subject she'd still have that raw innocence. The naivete, the uncertainty and curiosity. Sex only corrupts a person as they either branch out to find wilder experiences or find they can't find any pleasure in the experience and become numb and bitter. A virginal Max (Or a close to virginal Max) could be shaped to fit my image.

As well as willing subjects I've been thinking about an accomplice. Not like Nathan. I mean a female accomplice. Nathan serves a purpose and can do a job, but a female accomplice gives this whole operation a friendlier, more trustworthy face. She could identify potential subjects and introduce them to me for my assessment, which is difficult for me now with so few girls under my direct influence at Blackwell.

Nathan as an accomplice lacks the understanding of what my subjects should be and, being an unhinged psychotic, girls are wary of him. Max is level-headed, and so more reliable and teachable than Nathan. She's also influential, with high status at Blackwell. Many girls would be eager for her attention.

The dark room is ready, although of drug supply is getting low. I'll get Nathan to restock. I sit and look through some of my old work.

It suddenly occurs to me while I'm thinking of Kate that I haven't fucked anyone since Rachel.

There was a time in my life when I believed sex was an absolute necessity for a photographer. Something to steady the hand and fill you with daring. But then sex became more aggressive and not at all cathartic for me. My photography changed. For better or for worse? I can't decide. It's a question that intrigues me now, in this moment, and I suddenly have a strong urge.

Max

I'm wandering around hoping to find Trevor but I don't see him anywhere. The usual skater hangout by the rails is empty. I wonder what the skater guys do this early in the morning. For a second I smile as I imagine Victoria has Trevor tied up and locked in a trunk somewhere as my present. More likely they're just sleeping in until the last second before they haul ass to school.

I spot Victoria and act casual, propping myself up against a tree. She spots me and starts walking towards me. A concerned look on her face. I've played her perfectly. She's alone and worried because I skipped out of our normal morning meetup.

"I've been texting you, where have you been? You don't usually leave without us."

"I dunno, just thought I'd come out here and take some photos this morning."

"Max, you're a terrible liar. Something's up."

I take a deep, dramatic breath.

"Victoria … You're hooking me up with Trevor."

"Of course I am! You like Trevor. Did Nathan tell you?"

I'm surprised by her reaction. Maybe I'd made this into a bigger deal than it was? Or Nathan had made it sound way more epic than it was?

"No. But it's kind of obvious. You're like the only person who knows I like Trevor, but all the skater guys were teasing me about it."

"Please, Max. It's obvious to everyone you like Trevor. You completely melt anytime he's around you. But I have been trying to set something up. And I thought it was set up, but Trevor doesn't take the hint too easily."

"Or maybe he doesn't like me?"

"He likes you, he just doesn't believe you like him. He's suspicious because we're like the queen bitches around here or something."

Suddenly I feel bad for my lack of faith in Victoria. Maybe she really was looking out for me all this time?

So … you're just telling him I like him?"

"Yeah. How else I do set up a guy with the girl of his dreams?"

I feel so stupid for having worried so much about this.

"I've been looking for Trevor all morning trying to figure out what was happening. He's not around. I thought maybe you had him chained up to a wall somewhere."

"You're so dirty, Max," she says "Maybe we can make that my plan B."

We both started laughing and for those few seconds it kinda felt like Victoria and I were a real combo.

"I dunno … thanks, I guess." I finally say.

"Thank me if you end up getting laid, Max. You need it bad," she says, laughing again "Besides, you'd do the same for me with Zach, right?"

"Or Jefferson."

"Or Jefferson."

"So is Trevor going to ask me out or … ?"

"He likes you, Max. He's just hasn't had the chance, I guess. Or he's shy or he thinks it's a trap. Right now I don't know but I'm working on it."

"Well … thanks, Victoria" I move in and give Victoria a little hug.

"Like I said, thank me when you're walking down the aisle or something."

Jefferson

I'm particularly calm during my class. It's not always this way the day before a shoot. My eyes are obviously drawn to Kate more than anyone. She's happy today. She glows. The Vortex Club gang were sweet talking her when I arrived in the classroom, no doubt talking about the party and telling her how much fun she'd be having. Poor, naïve Kate walking straight into the jaws of the beast. That hopeless optimism was what I loved about her though.

I am a little concerned. I hope Nathan can dose her and get her out of there before any pranks. But then I remind myself Kate needs to have a long and memorable experience at the party. The drugs are never 100% reliable and hopefully, possible memories of the darkroom will be overwhelmed by more graphic memories of the Vortex Club. I'll have to discuss this with Nathan at our final meeting before the party to make sure he doesn't he doesn't dose her too early.

Although I'm drunk on Kate during my class, Max is never far from my mind either. Her attitude towards me has changed. She was always, in a word, laconic. Playing a disinterested rebel although her work was too solid for it to be anything more than an act. Now, following our coffee date, she was thoroughly engaged. Her eyes fixed on me. She even volunteers a few answers to my questions. She's wrong, twice, but I see she's a little wounded whenever I tell her this and the subtle expression on her face eats at me.

Before class I had called up Abbi from Decarli's, who had written her number on the back of one of my receipts once (How tacky). I set up a date and I was fairly certain we'd fuck afterwards. I'd put my old ideas of sex enhancing my photography to the test. My shoot with Kate was already meticulously planned out in my head, so I had a point of comparison.

Would I photograph Abbi? Perhaps. If she asked. Tasteful photos. Nothing pornographic. When girls know I'm a photographer they always ask me to take their photos and out of politeness if nothing else I'll oblige. No matter how sexually attractive she was, Abbi wasn't a subject. She's too old. Age only erodes the qualities I look for in my subjects. Girls are toughened by age. They lose a vulnerability. Especially a sexually charged girl like Abbi. I feel like nothing could surprise her. Her emotional responses would be predictable – jaded, but coated in fake drama.

I told you before that I think of Max as a potential accomplice as well as subject. She's an influential student who can easily manipulate others. Now I also think of Abbi. An older (Maybe late 20's?) woman, a social butterfly, very approachable, friendly and sexually charged … she could also be a powerful influence on young girls. Someone who can gain instant trust. Girls understandably are suspicious of men and their motives. Perhaps Abbi could be the face of my little operation? The idea excites me. But I would need to learn more, much more about Abbi before I could even consider the possibility. This date of ours will be a good start.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. My priority now is Kate. I finish my class, with a corny 'don't do anything I wouldn't do' line about the Vortex Club party. I serve it up for Max or Victoria to deliver a simple, lewd comment but they've immediately pounced on Kate. They're playing best buds. I suppose I should be grateful if that ensures Kate attends the party. My day at Blackwell is done. I text Nathan reminding him of our meeting, to which I get a quick, enthusiastic response, and then, when everyone has left, I clean up the classroom for the weekend.

Max

I'm with Victoria, Nathan, Courtney and Taylor at the venue and they're all running around making final preparations. I'm not being helpful and Nathan keeps saying I need something to pick me up. A little irritated because I've been avoiding the drugs he bought recently. I'm not feeling down, it just everyone has everything covered and I'm bored. Party decorating is not something in my arsenal. Plus, I helped Nathan carry in crates of alcohol so I figure I've done my bit.

I check my phone and Hayden has texted me again. He wants me round his dorm. I'd forgotten to answer his old text and I feel bad, so I tell Hayden I'll probably visit him around lunchtime. Hayden replies quickly telling me he'll be in his dorm until the party.

It hits me how I many times I put off texting Chloe. And here I am feeling guilty for ignoring some stoner who probably wants to borrow some money or something (Although I'm pretty sure Hayden has more money than I do). I briefly consider leaving and paying a visit to Chloe but the thought freaks me out because all the lines I'd rehearsed in my head are suddenly gone. Maybe I could go tomorrow? Give her my whole Sunday? Maybe with the party out of the way (maybe with Trevor as my new boyfriend?) I'll be way more relaxed, and I could distract her from all our problems by dishing on my new bf. She'd like that. I'm not sure if she ever had faith in Max actually catching herself a boyfriend so I figure it could be my big distraction if she starts screaming at me or something.

I don't do anything else while I'm at the venue. I think Victoria is almost in tears at one point because a bunch of Vortex Club banners have gone missing. Taylor drops something on her foot and for a few minutes we're concerned that maybe it's broken but it's not. Nathan takes a handful of pills because no one else wants them and he wants to prove they'll chill him out. I take that as a cue to leave and I tell Victoria I'll meet her in the dorms before the party so she can fit me into this dress she has planned for me. Courtney reminds me that she's going to do my hair and makeup, and a takes a few seconds to study my face. "I don't want to hide your freckles, they're cute." she says and it's not the first time in my life that I've been complimented on my freckles. Maybe I shouldn't hate them so much?

I'm an hour early at Hayden's dorm. It's completely silent inside and I knock. He asks who's there and I tell him Max and then a couple of minutes later he opens the door.

"That took a long time," I say as I stand in the doorway peering inside. I act suspicious "You don't have any other girls here, right?"

"You're the one and only."

"You know you don't have to hide your stash away from me, right?" I walk inside and look around, and his dorm is unusually clean except for a pile of dirty laundry slumped in a corner. I guess I took Hayden by surprise and he had to dress up quickly.

"Perhaps I'm not in the sharing mood today?"

"Well … we'll say you owe me then," I reply "Anyway you keep texting …"

"About that. It's Vortex Club tonight. Why not go together? We've always had a thing for each other."

This was the last thing I expected from Hayden, especially this early into the conversation, and for an awkward few seconds I'm speechless. He watches me with a confident smile on his face. He's been in this situation more than a few times, I guess. This must be the shock and awe technique. Hit girls quickly and early and with all guns blazing.

"Hayden … I guess you don't know what Victoria is planning for me?"

"That's interesting," he says, thoughtful "I didn't know she was into girls."

I smile but this is awkward. I don't think he's joking?

" … She's hooked me up with a guy," I don't want to mention Trevor. Hayden's never seemed like the jealous type, but I'd hate to get Trevor in hot water "I'm taken, I guess."

"Fuck Victoria. You can pick out your own guys." he says smiling. He takes a step forward towards me. I stay still.

I like Hayden a lot. He's friendly and funny and sure, he looks good. But I'm so far away from his usual type I've never even considered him as a potential boyfriend. And I'd think there was some angle to this, that this was Vortex Club politics or something, but Hayden's the last person to care about that kind of thing. Maybe he genuinely likes me? Hayden's never had a problem getting girls though. Did someone flake on him?

"Why now? This is pretty short notice."

"Well, you've only gotten around to my texts now. We could've sealed the deal earlier," he says "Do you even know who Victoria's set you up with? She's probably set you up with a junkie truck driver from the Two Whales."

He had a point. 'Trevor-sized surprise' was vague enough for it to be an old bum off the streets or something. After my conversation with Victoria I was full of love and faith but it could still be a scheme of some sort.

"I mean, that wouldn't surprise me," I laugh a little. I sound nervous. I need to go on the offensive "You've always had girls though. Did someone ditch you or something?"

"I had a date up until a few days ago, I admit it. We both know that if you turn me down here I can set up a different date in time for the party. Just being honest. But I've been interested in you ever since you put down Victoria. That was scary hot."

"Scary hot?" I laugh, but again I'm nervous. I'm looking down at the floor. I wonder how many girls have been in this exact situation with Hayden. Shy and blushing and melting in front of him. I feel like such a cliché.

"Scary hot. We've got a lot in common. Don't you think we've got chemistry? We get on, right?"

"Sure …" It wasn't a lie. We kinda did get on right away. Hayden was always cool with me from the moment I stepped into Blackwell. He kind of even took my side against Victoria. Not like he was on my team or anything, but he was always trying to keep the peace and wasn't afraid to tell Victoria she was getting out of line. Could he really be my boyfriend? If not, Hayden's a guy I don't mind being around. At least, I'll take an excuse to hang out with him more. "Ok, fine, I'll go with you."

Hayden doesn't reply, he just smiles. Studying me. I guess wondering how sincere I am. Wondering whether I'd end up flaking on him like this other girl? Maybe just wondering how to get some quick action out of this moment (Zero chance of that). The room wasn't exactly sweaty with passion. Maybe he's expecting something? A kiss? What? I try and crack a joke to break the tension.

"If Victoria's trucker gets his feelings hurt that's on you though."

"I can live with that. I'm happy, Max. If you wanna smoke up before the party …"

"I'll just meet you there. I got a lot of stuff to do with Courtney and Victoria … girl stuff, you know."

"You've got a habit of making things sound hotter than they probably are."

"Mind out of the gutter, Hayden," I'm pretty sure he's expecting a kiss or at least a hug or something but I can't do it. Maybe he's scared of making the first big move as well? "And keep it out of the gutter for the party too."

"No guarantees." he says while laughing. He takes a step back and that's my cue to start moving towards the door.

"Well I'll see you there, I guess" I look back to him and give him a big smile. He smiles too, but it's a strange moment.

Jefferson

I'm sat with Nathan in the car and we've got over the party and the plan for Kate. I say plan, but it's really just Nathan having to understand when an opportunity presents itself. He is surprisingly lucid and I tell him to stay on whatever drugs he's currently on because they seem to keep him focused and alert.

We're keeping this a short meeting because Nathan has to get in touch with his dealer, Frank. I want to have the dark room fully stocked, even though we have enough for Kate as it is. As I'm wondering if we have any other business to discuss I think of Max and, distracted, blunder into a question about whether she's going to be at the party, causing Nathan to become suspicious.

"You're interested in Max?"

"In a way, Nathan. It's probably nothing."

"She'll be at the party for sure. I mean I could probably …"

"No, Kate is the priority." I note Nathan's willingness to dose Max instead "Remember Max is my student. She's been acting differently in class, and I'm just curious about what's happening with her."

"She's the same as always, man. I've been trying to hook her on something but she won't go for it."

"No, Nathan. I don't want you getting her involved in drugs, understand?"

"She's already a pothead though."

"And that's fine but none of these prescription drugs and nothing serious."

"You're interested in shooting her, right?"

"Nathan, I'm not interested in her. But I may be, down the line. That won't happen if she becomes some fucked out, junkie slut."

"Relax. She's not into the drugs. I'm not even sure she's into guys either. I mean Victoria's having to try and set her up with dates."

"Really?" I'm certain Max is into men. She's into me, after all. But this idea I had of her being a typical Vortex Club whore erodes more and more. It all but confirms my suspicions that she's sexually inexperienced and shy around the topic. Two qualities I love.

"Victoria thinks she might be a dyke. But she's hooking her up with Trevor tonight so I guess we'll find out."

"Who's Trevor?"

"Just some guy. One of the skater guys. Rumour is Max is cute on him so Victoria's been working on it."

"Doing what exactly?"

"I don't know, man. Probably telling him Max'll fuck his brains out tonight or something. How'd you normally get a guy interested? Everyone knows Trevor's crazy about Dana so Victoria's probably had to promise Trevor some sick shit."

I'm offended by crude depictions of Max being spread around campus.

"Focus on Kate, Nathan. But try and keep me informed on what happens with Max."

Max

"Just deal with it, Victoria." I say.

"He's totally into you, Max."

"If Trevor was into me then he probably would've made a move himself. Hayden just got in first. Besides, you string guys along they end up just wanting you more, right? Didn't you tell me that once?"

"It's true. But you're already talking like Hayden won't work out. How long have been into him?"

"Since today, I guess."

"Did you bang him? Is that why you left us earlier?"

"Of course I didn't! He just asked me to go out with him and I said yes. If Trevor asked me I would've said yes to him too."

"Hayden's pretty hot though." said Courtney.

"He's a good guy too." said Taylor.

"He's also the biggest manwhore at Blackwell. You probably caught something just saying yes to him, Max."

"Hayden's like the coolest guy I know." I say "Maybe he's been around …"

"He's been around, Max. And I like Hayden. He's a sweet guy. But you and Trevor are so perfect for each other."

I pause. I still really like Trevor. I couldn't say no to Hayden though, at least not in the moment. We had chemistry. Maybe not romantic chemistry, but friend chemistry. Maybe the romantic chemistry would come? I'd just have to wait and see.

And in a fucked up way, the fact he's been slept around excites me a little. I guess my image of Hayden is this classy gentleman stoner, but his sleeping around gives him a little bad boy appeal. But he's not a complete asshole like the other bad boys at Blackwell so … I'm thinking way too far ahead.

"I had no idea that Hayden was into Max." says Taylor.

"He's into everyone." says Victoria.

"I heard he was taking Kelly to the party, but she ditched him a few days ago …" says Courtney.

"And why did she ditch him, Courtney?" Victoria says, folding her arms in anticipation of this revelation.

"He fucked Brooklyn."

"Max, the guy will fuck anything. Do you think Trevor would stoop to someone like Brooklyn?"

"They're just rumours. Rumours you probably started, Victoria."

"Look, ok, I get it. You're with Hayden now. I hope it works out between you two. I just don't know what I'm gonna tell Trevor now."

"I don't know. I still like him?"

"That sounds awful," says Taylor "You can't say you're interested in Trevor for now. It's like you're looking for a double team."

Victoria and Courtney both start laughing. I feel myself blushing. I guess it does look bad.

"Well, you'll think of something, right?" I ask

"What you should have done is play them against each other," says Courtney "See which one wants you more."

"Did you tell Hayden I set you up with Trevor?"

"You didn't set me up with Trevor, you just told him I liked him. And I told Hayden you'd set me up with someone. Not Trevor, just someone."

"And he still goes after you? Goes to show Hayden'll go after a taken woman. He's shameless."

"I wasn't exactly taken. I had no idea what was going to happen with Trevor."

"He's probably afraid to approach you. He's trying to think of the right words or something."

"That's so sweet!" says Taylor.

"I know!" says Victoria.

"I'm not going to feel guilty about this." I say "Besides, everyone knows Trevor's obsessed with Dana. I don't know how I even fit into that."

"He's totally in love with Dana. You should see how he acts around Logan." Courtney backs me up.

"Max was in love with Trevor until a conversation with Hayden …"

"I wasn't in love with him. He's cute, that's all," I say "And before you say it I'm not in love with Hayden. Hayden's more like a guy I just want to hang out with."

"Friends with benefits?" asks Courtney.

"Hayden's got a lot of work ahead of him before he gets any benefits."

"Would you be saying the same about Trevor?" Victoria asks. I can tell she's a little pissed. I guess she really was making a big effort to hook me up with Trevor.

"Of course I would. I'd be saying the same about Jefferson too." I smile a little bit. I'm teeing up Victoria as a peace offering. Also I'm hoping to steer the conversation onto Jefferson, one of Victoria's favourite subjects.

"You are such a liar, Max," she starts laughing "Jefferson could drop your panties with a wink."

I kick her under the table and start laughing along with Taylor and Courtney.

"Speaking of Jefferson …" Victoria begins.

We talk about Jefferson (The usual looking for sexual subtext in some interaction with Victoria) for a few minutes before Taylor figures we should leave for the dorms and start getting ready for the party.