When Arthur suggested just before lunch time that they should leave soon, Merlins first reaction was a disbelieving shock. What in the world was Arthur thinking?! But Merlin just needed a glance and he knew that Arthur had some place he wanted to visit on the way. So it was up to Merlin, was he going to tell Arthur that no way, he was going to enjoy his time here or was he going to go with Arthur to where ever he had planed to go. The decision was easy.
After a very nice lunch with Gwen, Elyan and their father, Merlin and Arthur vawed them all good bye. Merlin knew he could just ask what Arthur had planed, but it didn't really matter, so he just seated himself to Arthurs car and let him drive where ever he wanted.
For an alarming long time the road they took seemed to really take them back to their home, so when Arthur turned to the street where the cafe they had visited after the first time Merlin had been in Arthurs football practices, Merlin almost threw his hands in the air thanking the higher powers. For a moment there he had been afraid that he had misread Arthur totaly.
The cafe was exactly the same it had been the last time. It felt like ages ago, but the cafe felt as nice as it had felt then. Oh how nice it was indeed to feel rested and just sit and talk with Arthur alone with no worry that someone they knew was looking at their direction. With no Gwens sharp eyes or Uthers hateful expression searching for reasons to hurt Merlin.
Merlin was so clad that Uther had never accused Merlin of watching Arthur like that, even if Arthur was the only one he had looked at with much more than a brief admiration on their looks. If Uther would ever find that out, Merlin was sure that what ever Uther had done to him up till now wouldn't be enough to make Uther leave him alone. He would do something much worse.
But actually, now that he thought about it, why hadn't Uther noticed? He had noticed Merlin looking at some random waiter he had just found handsome and Lee whose shirt had been actually more appealing to Merlin than Lee himself! So why not Arthur who Merlin had not just found handsome, but had been the only one Merlin actually had wanted to do stuff with? And while Merlin had seen Lee once when Uther had been present, Merlin saw Arthur more than all the people he knew combined, he was bound to slip up at times and Uther saw them together at least once a day at the dining table. Was he somehow in Uthers blind spot at home? Did he think that Merlin wouldn't dare to do anything dirty in his house or was the whole thought too impossible so Uther hadn't even thought about the possibility? Or was it the way Merlin and Arthur still bickered and had fought in the past? Or did Uther just trust that Arthur would tell him if he even as much as suspected that Merlin had hots for him? Merlin shuddered. Would Arthur tell Uther if he ever got wind of how Merlin felt about him?
Arthur was currently finishing his coffee and Merlin had lost track of what he had been talking about. He didn't want to leave the cafe, but he wasn't comfortable here either anymore. If he just could read from Arthurs thoughts what Arthur thought of homosexuals so he would at least know if Arthur was part of the danger Merlin felt in his life. If there was someone Arthur would have told this kind of information and Merlin could ask them… but that was highly unlikely. And besides even if someone like that existed, it would be too risky to ask. It would be much more explainable to just ask Arthur if an opportunity would rise in a 'by the way I'm not really that interested but got nothing better to do than ask random questions from you' -like manner.
After the short drive to home, Merlin needed some time alone, so he hid under his bed feeling the narrow place bring him some comfort. Seriously, why had nobody noticed how much Arthur meant to him? He was quite sure that during the summer he hadn't done that good of a job hiding anything at all. Did no-one really care about him enough to notice the biggest things happening in his life?
That aside that no-one had noticed what he did with Uther at nights, that wasn't the first thing to guess when someone was in a bad mood, but being in love? Was it also so bizarre thought that nobody had thought about it? Was it really so wrong and so uncommon to love someone who is same gender? Or was it just the fact that they were brothers trough marriage? It was like something was strangling him. Merlin wouldn't cry, he really didn't want to, but he let out a frustrated sound like a yell without opening his mouth. He felt pressure inside his head and he wanted to just blow up. Be something like angry or sad or something, but he just felt his feelings crumble and tiredness and despair eat him and the bed was so close that he couldn't even turn to his side. He was so anxious and disgusted with himself. He hit his tight where he knew the scar was. The latest wound was already healed so it didn't hurt that much, but it was enough to get some of his frustration go away. Soon he felt the last of his strength go and he just hugged himself and sobbed without really crying.
He remembered the summer a year ago. How he had just found his eyes searching Arthur from where ever he was. How he had liked the way Arthur looked and how he carried himself. How he had found his heart beat and his cheeks grow warm when he saw him change at PE or when he was playing football or when he was smiling. How Merlin had eventually found the word for himself. He was homosexual. He knew there were others like him somewhere and that had given him satisfaction and peace of mind.
It all felt so far away now. His feelings had changed so much after that. Not just the peace of mind was nowhere to be seen and he definitely didn't think finding that out was a good thing. He feared and loathed Uther and the only thing he feared and loathed more was his own body. It felt like a sickness. How come even after what he had gone trough he still couldn't make himself forget Arthur? Even after all this time he felt himself grow hot near Arthur and when he touched Merlin, he felt so many feeling and so many of them were good and warm and so welcome that it was scary and Merlin found himself soon back to his fear of his own body. That summer he had been fourteen… It was almost one and a half year ago. He loved and wanted and needed Arthur so much more now than then. It was like Arthur was his drug. The constant very thin line Merlin tried to balance of staying sane but not make anyone find out about him, was so arduous to keep.
Merlin laid under his bed until he heard knock on his door. "Merlin! Dinner- oh…" It was Arthur. Merlin held his breath and soon he heard the door close. Arthur had thought that Merlin wasn't in his room then. He waited only few seconds before crawling out form under his bed. It felt a bit weird to stand again in an open space, but Merlin didn't let it show. He made his way to the dinner table like he normally did.
Arthur came from the direction of their garden soon after and he looked a bit confused to see Merlin already in the table, but he said nothing.
The night Merlin had wished would never come was here and it did bring Uther with it. Just like Merlin had expected. This time Uther was late, but Merlin was still sitting on his chair, flipping some pages of his history book to seem like he was studying. He hoped that it would make Uther at least a bit more forgiving.
"Were you a good boy at your little friends home?" was the first thing Uther whispered softly to Merlins ear. Merlin shuddered and he had no idea of how to answer that. If he did say 'yes, he had been good', wouldn't that just sound dirty? Like he wanted something from Uther as a 'reward'. And if he said 'no' he would need to be 'punished' for sure.
When Uther didn't get any reply from Merlin immediately, he spun Merlins chair around and Merlin could see anger in his face. He couldn't breath and when Uther leaned in closer, Merlin had to turn his face to another direction. He squeezed his body to the back of his chair to get as far away from Uther as possible.
"Stand up and take off your clothes." Uthers command was clear and his voice cold like Merlin was used to. He had been waiting for this. He had known this would happen, but he hated it and now it felt impossible to just think this as just a part of him getting a good rest at Gwens. It didn't feel worth it anymore and Merlin briefly wondered if anything really was worth this. When Merlin stood up and did as he was told while biting his lip, Uther moved to sit on the edge of Merlins bed. "Come here and suck."
Merlin shut his eyes for a moment before he willed his legs to move. They had eaten such a nice meal at Gwens and in the cafe too. Merlin hoped that he wouldn't throw up those anymore.
He sucked Uther. By now he had learned everything that made Uther come faster, but making pleasure for him felt too disturbing so he never went all out if Uther wasn't really angry making Merlin fear more than usually. Also what made Uther come faster, was often uncomfortable for Merlin. Uther would always come faster if Merlin licked him up and down while his thing was deep in Merlins throat. It made him gag and his jaw tired very quickly. It also felt like he had to suck like he wanted to eat Uther up and that always left Merlin a mess afterwards. It was just too disturbing.
After a while Merlin was quite sure that he would get away tonight with just this blow job, but suddenly he felt a violent pull on his hair causing him to move backwards. "Stand up." Was Uthers short command and he yanked Merlins hair upwards. Merlin clenched his jaw together in order of not to yell of pain. When he was standing, Uther pulled Merlin up and to sit on his lap, facing Uther.
The position was new and Merlin felt panic when Uthers hard thing, slick with Merlins saliva pressed at his inner tight. "Take the lube out and rub it on yourself." This was definitely new. Merlin felt cold and his stress levels rose alarmingly high. "I can't…" He whimpered. He really didn't want to. The shame of even thinking of lubing himself felt too much. He was sitting on Uthers lap and he kind of could guess what Uther would command him to do next. He felt off balance and faint thinking about that.
"Do it, or we will go without." There was no mercy in Uthers tone and Merlin knew that he would not ask him twice. He wanted to protest and beg, but he remembered how that went the last time he tried, so he was out of options. He slowly reached for his drawer and took the lube. It felt heavy in his hand. It was almost full.
Merlin found himself thinking of how many of these they had already used. Somehow the amount of lube felt much more concrete than the times he and Uther had had sex. Those times had already blurred in Merlins mind long ago. He didn't count them anymore.
If anything could have made Merlin more ashamed than he already was trying to get as much lube as possible to his entrance and inside in order to escape at least some of the pain, was that Uther would take a picture of it. And of course he did. Merlin closed his eyes in shame and tried to close his mind from the shutter sound, but it was not possible. It was more like the small sound was the loudest in the whole world and Merlin couldn't escape it.
After few pictures, Uther placed his phone next to him and pulled Merlin by his ass further to his lap. Merlins breathing hitched, he didn't want to get closer to Uthers face. "Lift your hips now…" Uther told him and Merlin did. It was no use anyway.
The position was awkward and difficult to keep. Uther pushed Merlin to sit on his erection and he guided himself in, making Merlin groan with agony. He felt like his hole was ripping from the sudden stretch. His legs were wide open and he couldn't support his weight with just standing in this position. He knew that he could take a hold of Uther to take support, but he really didn't want to. Even if Uthers hands were on his bare ass and his thing inside Merlin, it felt too intimate and too much like he was accepting this to take a hold of Uthers shoulders or God forbid, to hug him.
In the end Merlin just squeezed his own sides and dug his nails to his skin and let Uther hold all of his weight. "Move." Was the final command Merlin had been waiting for. He tried, because Uthers face told him that he would regret it if he didn't, but it hurt too much and his legs didn't have enough strength to actually move himself up and down in this position.
After a while Uther got fed up with Merlin and he pushed him off of him just to throw him to the bed. Merlin felt a bit relieved. He was so tired, his legs hurt and the exercise and stress had made him feel light headed and thin. He wished he could just faint and not know anything that happened to his body after that. Why couldn't there be a way to faint by will?
Uther took him hard, no wonder taking his frustration out on Merlin who hadn't been able to do as he was told.
Uther didn't say anything more to Merlin that night. Merlin just heard his camera go a couple of times and when he was again alone in his bathroom throwing up, Merlins mind was blank. He noted that he couldn't taste the cake he had eaten in the cafe in his vomit and that made him a bit happy. He had liked the cake and he would like to eat one in the future too.
When Merlin was lying on his couch, he kind of knew how bizarre it was that he was concentrating on a piece of cake and things like that, but he really didn't care. His head felt fuzzy and he was still shaking.
In the morning Merlin felt feverish, but he didn't say anything. Now he regretted that he had lied about being sick before. He couldn't let it show that he was really sick so soon. Like in that stupid old story. Merlin had yelled wolf when he had wanted to just be alone, now that he was really feeling sick, he just had to suck it up and suffer. 'How annoyingly solid life lesson' Merlin thought bitterly.
At night they were having some very fine pork for dinner, but how much he tried, Merlin couldn't make himself to eat it. The smell was nauseating and the slightly greasy, meaty smell and texture combined with the colour was just too much for Merlin. "Darling, aren't you going to eat?" His mother finally asked when Merlin had just stared at his meal for past ten minutes. Merlin rose his gaze to meet his mothers and he knew he had to make an excuse. Now. 'Pork something… don't eat… something' Merlin brain was working fast if not entirely coherently. Then he remembered something. Vivian. She didn't eat pork because…
"I have read a book about how poorly farm animals, especially bigs, are treated. Mother did you know that bigs could live approximately just a bit over half a square meter space reserved for them and they could weight up to one hundred kilos? They have nothing to do and their living space is filthy so in their frustration they start biting each others tails. Pigs are actually as intelligent as dogs…" Merlin tried to desperately remember some more facts that Vivian had hammered to him and Gwen at lunch times at the same time he blurted them out of his mouth in a fast pace.
Hunith looked at her son in wonder. Merlin had never had any trouble eating meat before, but of course meat had been if not rare in their old life, it had still been somewhat an occasion if they could have eaten something else than the cheap cuts Hunith used to buy from one of their neighbours. It had always been lamb or rarely beef. There were no pigs in their home village. Maybe this was something Merlin had picked up from school? He had been always one to take the side of the weaker.
"I didn't know that… " she said eventually not wanting to tell his son what to believe was important, but feeling a bit loss of what to tell him. Merlin seemed to find some more fuel to his preach and soon the whole table was quiet and listening to Merlin. Not even Uther talked. Merlin didn't have confidence to look at him so he had no idea what he was thinking, but he had already started. "… and I think that I don't want any part in that, so I would very much prefer to just take some salad." Merlin finished. The table was still quiet and when there were no protests, Merlin rose up, took his plate to the kitchen and took a clean plate with him so he could eat some salad.
Back in the table Arthur was looking at the direction Merlin had gone wide eyed. What on earth was he doing now? Arthur looked at Hunith and then his father. Hunith looked just a bit confused and maybe a tad worried and Uther didn't look pleased. 'Not pleased' was actually much better than Arthur would have thought possible, his father in general didn't like any nonsense like this and it seemed like a miracle to Arthur that Merlins speech had made his father speechless.
When Merlin got back with an empty plate and took an enormous amount of salad on it and sprinkled some oil on it, the spell was finally broken. Hunith was worried about Merlin "Are you sure you can survive with just some lettuce until tomorrow?" she asked hesitantly. Merlin was unusually calm and composed and he spoke with clear and sure voice. "I'm sure. I'll just eat bigger breakfast tomorrow." "But tomorrows dinner…" Hunith was unsure of what her son was on about. "I'll eat anything vegetarian. I'll include milk and eggs, for now at least." Hunith looked at Merlin with serious expression for a while but then she smiled at him fondly even if a bit unsurely "You have always been compassionate. Dear, do you think we could arrange some vegetarian choices for Merlin?" She turned to Uther for the last part. Merlin continued to eat his salad and didn't even look at Uther. Arthur couldn't help but stare. How could Merlin, who was usually so tense in his fathers presence, be so calm and look like he had made his decision and he wouldn't back out of it what ever the consequences?
"Is this really necessary? This kind of… " Arthur saw his father shallow some choice of words he would have used if his wife hadn't asked him directly. Merlin was still eating with a steady pace not even looking at their parents direction. It seemed like he wasn't even interested of the outcome. "It seems it's important to him, he could try it out at least… There is a vegetarian choice in lunch at school, right?" Hunith directed her question to Merlin who shallowed and nodded "There are few vegetarians in the school and it's not even that hard nowadays to avoid meat. There are many good sources of protein and if I keep eating milk and eggs, it's not hard at all." Hunith nodded at Merlin approvingly. It seemed to her that Merlin had really thought about this.
Hunith turned to look at Uther again and for reason unknown to Arthur his father nodded slowly. "I'll talk with our cook, she can start making something vegetarian starting from tomorrow." If Merlin was surprised at this, he didn't let it show. He said his thanks and then he offered to clean up the table. Arthur hadn't said anything and he really had no idea of what to say. He didn't understand not eating meat. He loved meat and it was the only thing that made him really full after long week of practices. And Merlin had never said anything about animal rights before, not even close. Arthur somehow would have thought that Merlin would have told him if he was thinking about something as big as this. Clearly he had been wrong and he didn't like that one bit.
Only when he had slammed his door shut in frustration, did Arthur think that if Merlin was thin now, what would happen if he started to avoid meat? Arthur felt a bit worried, but then again, maybe Merlin had been picky because he had been thinking of 'the poor animals'… Arthur certainly hoped that was the case and Merlin wouldn't lose any weight.
Merlin felt great. He felt confident and like for once he was fully in charge. His mother had not told him to eat his dinner and Uther hadn't told him to stop this nonsense. He didn't have to fight and sneak around to get rid of the food he didn't want to eat anymore. Meat and boiled eggs had been something Merlin had most difficulties to stomach lately. He said he could eat eggs because he had remembered just in time that cakes contained egg and he did want to eat those… He thought of the piece of heaven he had eaten with Arthur in the cafe yesterday and he chuckled at himself. His priorities today seemed to be 'no pork, yes cake'. That was absurd.
When Uther came to Merlins room late in the night, Merlin was prepared. He had known that he would come and even if it dimmed his confidence and fear ran trough him the second he heard the door handle turn, he knew he wouldn't back down. Uther had already promised in front of Hunith and Arthur so there was no reason for Merlin to take his word back. Even if it had been an impulse and his reasonings straight from a rude girl with too much apparent free time.
Uther took Merlin on his bed telling him what he really thought about vegetarians. It would have hurt Merlin more if he really did believe in what he had said. "If you want to starve then you can, you little slut." were the final words before Uther pulled out from Merlin, closed his zipper and walked out of the room.
Merlin lied still for a moment before a grin broke to his face. He felt like laughing out loud. This wasn't the worst he had gone trough, not even close, and he had actually won Uther on something. As far as Uther would know, Merlin would never eat meat again.
Hunith was worried. She had been a long time now. It was part of her nature and she knew it very well. When she had been younger she had been worried of how she would make friends and do in school and later would she find love and how she would survive after her parents died when she was only sixteen. But after she became a mother, all that hadn't seemed so big anymore. She had always worried over Merlin. If he would fall while playing, if he would not have friends, if he would be alright with no father and the poor conditions they had lived in…
After Balinor had died, Hunith had shallowed her own hurt and loss and concentrated on her only son. She had wished so much that Merlin would be alright and he had. Merlin had always been very natural with people, while he hadn't had many close friends, it seemed that Merlin just chose his friends carefully. He didn't care if he was popular or not, he didn't want to spend time with the people he didn't really care that much of. Merlin was strong and he had never blamed anything on their lack of money and he had always faced every hardship they had had in the past with a smile, always making Hunith worry less than she would have without her son. Like the time they couldn't afford any electricity and Merlin had just told his mother that it was fun cooking everything by fire or when they had both slept on the floor next to their fireplace in an extremely cold winter and a nine year old Merlin had educated her very seriously how she should turn to her side and turn once in an hour at least so she wouldn't get too hot on one side and too cold on the other. He had told Hunith it was much the same than cooking a fish by a campfire... Hunith had told her son that she would cook him by a campfire if he ever again compared her to a fish on a stick. Merlin had laughed and it had been a regular joke after that. Merlin would call her a fish and Hunith would make up dishes she would make out of Merlin.
But that time was in the past now. Merlin had seemed very much happy with his new life here and Hunith had been less worried than ever especially after Merlin had settled to his new school with ease and found a friend. In a way Merlin had been so fine that Hunith had felt that she wasn't needed anymore. Of course it was also the age, she had been waiting the point of life when rather than coming to wake her up in the morning to drag her to make him pancakes or outside to play, Merlin would start to spend more time with his friends and books (he had always loved reading), but still it had felt empty. And the fact that she had very little to do in this new luxurious life, had not done any favours for her. She had been pitying herself and that had to end. It had been a time to try the things she had missed out after her parents had died. She had decided to go to study. Finaly. Merlin had encouraged her too and she had remembered how much she needed her son. And even if he was a teenager now, he was still her little boy and he needed her too.
So hunith had allowed herself to be selfish. She knew that she had been spending a lot of time out of the house. It had not been mandatory for the most of the time, she had taken more courses and more shifts in order to graduate earlier and she had used her opportunities to get out and spend time with her new friends from school. Now, she wondered if how Merlin was nowadays was her fault.
The change had happened so fast. It felt to Hunith that she had been stressing for her entrance exams and her schoolwork the way she had when she had been young and the next time she had looked, Merlin had grown distant. Maybe it was that Merlin had just hit puberty with full force and it was just time for Hunith to just understand and accept that? But Soon that thought hadn't helped her at all anymore. She was worried of how thin Merlin was. She was worried of how he spent too much time inside. She was worried of how rarely he spent time with his friends and how they never came over. And the behaviour… the way sometimes Merlin seemed miserable or angry and just not smiling and happy the way he had used to be back home in the small village.
Merlin had also changed in other ways. His style, his reluctanse to go out and outside (he would had practically lived in forrest if Hunith hadn't made him stay inside at least at night) and now this. Being a vegetarian had never been something Merlin had even wondered out loud and now just like that he wasn't eating meat again. He had eaten chicken just fine only yesterday! It wasn't that Hunith had anything against it, it just was not something she could relate to or fully understand. In countryside it was thought as something those posh city people did for they had too much food and free time. Maybe it was something Merlin had picked up from school? Merlin had always been special and Hunith had known all along that she would need to get her son out of the small remote village someday. That she had the gotten married at this age had been a miracle and that it got Merlin the opportunity he had needed had been what had lead Hunith to make this decision. She had been fine in the village, that was still her home even now and while she was used to the city, this large house was not her home in the same way their old home had been.
But if Merlin was just finding his wings in the city, why was he not more excited about it? She had tried to talk to Merlin, but it was so hard to hold a conversation with him nowadays, it was like he didn't want to talk to her anymore. She had talked about Merlin with her school friends. Many of them had children on their own and some where so young they remembered the age Merlin was very well. They had all told her the same thing. 'There was nothing unusual of not wanting to tell a lot to parents in that age and that of course he was miserable, everyone was miserable when they were teenagers!' 'It was just part of it.' 'Yeah he is thin, but he eats right? So does my son and he's as thin as Merlin, he's like a bottomless pit I tell you.'
That had calmed Hunith down some, but she still had not been satisfied. She had called her old friends and finally Wills mother had put her at ease. Hunith tried to concentrate to remember all of it so she could calm down.
"Oh, Will told me that already, they have been talking on the phone half of the summer I tell you! I made him built us a new fence for the extra phone bill he had piled up!" She answered with good humour when Hunith had told her how she had visited the aquarium with Merlin in the end of the summer. "Really?" she had known that Merlin had talked with Will, but he very rarely mentioned him to her so she had been surprised to hear this. "Yeah really. You know I wished they were still little, I can't take this whining that it's boring and lying around all day doing nothing or hanging on the phone. Were we like that too?"
Hunith had let her breath out at the cliché and. "Will too? Merlin is also howled inside of his room far too much, studying most of the time, and he doesn't talk to me anymore! I have been so worried…" She had confessed in a rush to her best friend. "Huntih, you always worry! You say studying? I wish this block head would start doing that once in a while!" Hunith had chuckled as she had heard a muffled 'hey!' from the background. Oh, she missed Will and Clara so much…
"But it's just not like him at all… and he doesn't seem happy, that what worries me the most…" She had continued sounding miserable herself. "Love, you should see how Will mopes around here and Mathew, I just saw him yesterday, he has become so shy you wouldn't believe it's him if you saw him now!"
It had felt so good to hear this kind of reassurance and Hunith had been quite sure that the friend she had known most of her life had known that because she had continued "you know I trie to spend time with my son now that I have more time than in summer, but most of the time he wont. He said it's stupid or lame even if he complains he's bored. But then again some days, it's like I have the boy who liked to play board games with me back. Just the other day he asked my opinion and we made this really long walk around the old mill. Is it the same with Merlin too?"
It was. Most of the time Hunith felt like Merlin was not hearing her and that he wanted nothing to do with her, but just some times he hugged her or talked with her the same way when they had been just the two of them. He had let her straighten his tie and he had shared her opinions of the city people at Arthurs birthday party. He had shown her around in the aquarium and told her all about how intelligent octopuses were. He had grown distant yes, but he was still there and now Hunith and to take her friends word that Merlin was not lost and that he would eventually come back to her.
Hunith had spend a long time on the phone with Clara and they had complained about how their sons were growing up and bragging about how they had grown up. It had helped tremendously and Hunith had found some peace of mind. Clara had that effect on her.
After they had finished Hunith had been able to try and talk with Merlin once more and when today had come and Merlin had refused to eat the pork, Hunith had been able to let him make the decision without drowning her son to her worries. She knew that Merlin knew that she tented to do that, but lately it had seemed that Merlins patience ran out with her worrying very quickly.
Hunith remembered what one of her school friend had told her 'I hated it when my mother used to snoop around everything, she couldn't take the hint that I had my own life already. The worst was when she went trough my stuff! She even read my diary.' Maybe they were all right, maybe she should take a step back and give Merlin more room to breath. He was growing up and Hunith was sure he had some things he needed to learn about himself too. Hunith actually had a fair idea of what some of them could be and she hoped that Merlin would come and talk to her when he was ready. She couldn't tell Merlin what he was like after all, some things one just had to find out on their own. And about this vegetarianism… maybe Uther could talk about it with Merlin?
Uther was good with Merlin. While Hunith had failed to get a connection to her son many times now, Uther would often talk to him and Hunith had learned so much from Uther afterwards. He would talk to Merlin usually late in the evenings and share what he had learned when he drove Hunith to her school. It seemed that Merlin was struggling to get rid of his country-boy image and he was blending in better now because he and Arthur were friends. Maybe this was also what this was about? It also seemed that Merlin had someone he fancied at school and while he was embarraced about it and he rarely talked about that, he was trying to be her friend and impress her with his good grades for he was not athletic. That had explained a lot of the studying. Maybe that person was also a vegetarian?
Hunith had been dying to know more about this mystery person, but Uther had warned her against it. "He rarely talks about her and never if I ask him about it." That made sense. Hunith had been shy too about her crushes. Also… Well, Uther kept saying 'her', but Hunith was quite sure it was in fact 'he'. Of course there was a change that Merlin was just confused and it was indeed a girl he had a crush on, it was not unheard of right? She had known for years now that Merlin was special in more ways than one and this was one of them. Hunith was quite sure that her son was homosexual. Something that would not have made their old community very happy, but didn't bother Hunith at all. She was worried that her new husband would not take it well, but for now, it was much better than it had been in the village.
Here Merlin had much more room to breath and moving out of home didn't mean building a cottage to the other side of the field. Here he also had much better change of finding friends and love amongst other people like him. So, Hunith had left this fact unsaid to her husband and she didn't feel bad at all about that. It was Merlins business to tell her and Uther when he felt like it. Hunith just hoped that she could somehow make Merlin understand that he could talk to her about anything, that she would always love him and that she was very fine with him preferring men over women.
Hunith rubbed her temples. It was late and she had been sitting on the edge of her side of the bed a book on her lap for an hour now. It was time to go to sleep and tomorrow she would find every bit of information she could about vegetarians. If she remembered correctly, one of her class mates she didn't speak much with was a vegetarian. Maybe she could ask her?
Soon after Hunith had made herself ready for bed, Uther stepped in their bedroom and looked surprised to see his wife still awake. Hunith usually went to sleep early, she was a morning person. She told Uther how she had been unable to sleep for she had been thinking Merlins sudden decline of meat. Uther had tucked her in and let her lean on him while he told that he had talked with Merlin about it and it seemed that the girl Merlin liked was also vegetarian. 'So it was that then…' Hunith had thought still not saying anything about the word 'girl' even if she would have wanted to know if Merlin used the word 'girl' or if Uther had just assumed.
Hunith felt indeed lucky to have a man like Uther. While she couldn't exactly say she loved him for she had been in love once and this just was not the same, but he appreciated what Uther did for her and how he took as much time as he did to understand Merlin who was very different from his own son. Hunith actually felt a bit ashamed of herself of how she didn't seem to do the same with Arthur even if they did have a better connection nowadays. In a way there was not much she could do more than talk with Arthur about everyday things. While Merlin had grown moodier, Arthur had calmed down a lot from when Hunith first got to know him. He worked hard, but it didn't seem to bother him and he always seemed content when they were together as a family. Unlike Merlin.
Uther continued telling her how he had been unsure with what to tell his mother when he had been at Merlins age and that it would all pass with time. It soothed Hunith and she let Uther convince her. He told her that he would take care of Merlin and that he had gone trough a difficult period with Arthur too and now he had come around. Uther was right. Hunith would have to relax and listen to her friends too. She had always been one to worry for nothing after all. But now she had help and someone to tell her when she was over reacting. Hunith decided to trust her husband on this.
This decision she would regret for the rest of her life.
A/N Food poisoning is not fun. I spend two days just vomiting and sleeping on my bathroom floor. What a great way to start summer vacations... But a very good source material for the story :D (There is something wrong with me...)
Anyway. This chapter was shorter than the last two were and there has been encouragement for me to update more often, so since it's summer vacation (or 'vacation' as I'm working to fund my studying...) I thought that this is a good time to start updating a bit more often :) So expect a new chapter every three days from now on! Soon we will get to the really interesting part of this story.
And apparently Wills mothers name is now 'Clara'. You might have noticed that my imagination runs very low when it comes to naming people. That's why we have 'the city' and 'the village' and freaking 'Lee' and 'Jordan' in the football team (which also doesn't have a name...). The first reason to this is that the tv-show doesn't give us much names of side characters and in Wills moms case, we dodn't even know if he has a mother! And most of the kniths that are not in the main cast that have names tend to die the moment we hear their name. The second reason is that I don't want to set this story to a specific country. Mostly because I can't set it to my country and I have no idea of Brittish or American school systems or laws and stuff, so lets just say it all is a bit of a mix of western societys laws and stuff. Please bear with me :P
And again so much thanks for my reviewers! I might not get many reviews, but the ones I get, are the best!
mersan123 Maybe we all are a bit disturbed here, we do use our time reading (and writing) fan fiction after all... but I can make up like thousand worse ways to use my time than reading, so I think we are alright :) And the way that you relate to Merlin and want the best to happen to him (I think he would love to be taken care of by you and your family) and the amount of effort you put in commenting my writing (making me very happy every time) makes me think that you are a very lovely person! I know you were joking, but still. And about Arthurs sexuality, I made him one based on the tv show and he will think about it and he will come to a conclusion, but much later in the story. I could just tell you, it wouldn't actually spoon anything, just explain things, but I'm not sure if you want to know... If you do, I can PM you or just put it in Authors note in next chapter. What do you say?
AngelDove1 :) I'm glad that you feel that the last chapter was going somewhere, I have been going for a very realistic version of child abuse and just sometimes, nothing that special happens. I wanted to give time to show how there is not a constant drama, abuse is just something the victim grows to expect in their every day life and how the everyday life starts to circle around the abuse. That's why I needed this kind of parts that just go basically 'and then the next month went like this'. I see we share same favourite episodes :) I have quoted many of my favorites in this story, I hope you find some more of your favorites among them!