The following weeks found their routine. Merlin would help in the football field on mondays, and on thursdays Merlin would visit first Gwaine and then Gaius. He would buy four beers and something to eat and usually he would eat while Gwaine made his sandwiches. After that he would go to Gaius' and help him with this and that and then they would drink tea and talk of various things.
Merlin had found some self-confidence and he sometimes told small things that Arthur had done oe said and he also found himself saying sentences like '…and our teacher is actually quite handsome' or 'that one player with nice hair' and Gaius didn't seem to mind. They also talked a lot about books that Gaius was loaning to Merlin. Merlin had again found his interest in learning something new and he was extremely interested in medical science to Gaius' delight. Merlin found himself thinking about his future seriously for the first time since Uther. Maybe he could apply to become a doctor? Like Gaius had been. Gaius liked the idea very much and encouraged Merlin to focus his studies on it.
At home the things hadn't improved. Uther came to Merlin's room quite often now (the four beer was not too much at all...). He clearly waited until everyone else was asleep and then came to take Merlin. He would often make Merlin shallow his load now and even when he took him from behind Merlin ended up vomiting. Some days he even vomited at night on the memory of it or after he woke up from a night mare that differed very little from his reality. his stomach was constantly upset. When the feeling of that he deserved to be punished had been lifted, Merlin had found a whole new level of disgust for Uthers touch. He was again loosing weight and he had agreed to eat fish again.
It didn't help much and even the beer Merlin drank every time Uther had visited him didn't cover all of his energy loss. He was getting tired and the coldness he had only felt ocasionaly was now present most of the time. He had also noted that his arms and legs had grown a layer of thin hair in attempt of keeping him warmer and failing. His skin was dry and his nails chipped easily. He was quite sure that it all had to do with the constant hunger that twisted inside of him even when he wasn't able to eat or keep down what he had eaten.
It was maybe the sixth monday Merlin was helping the team and he had trouble of lifting a football from the ground. There just wasn't enough strenght in his legs to stand up. He would have found it actually quite hilarious if it wasn't so scary. He finally found a position where he could push himself up with some help from his left hand and he managed to walk without dropping the ball from his shaky hands.
When he had dropped the ball to Pelinor's waiting hands, he sat down right there. He hoped that he wouldn't have to rise up anytime soon. But such was his luck that Lance sat next to him and looked at him openly worried. "Merlin, I need to talk to you. You have been in an awfully bad condition lately." Merlin didn't know how to reply to that "I have been just staying up too late… It's summer after all…" He didn't have the strenght to be creative right now. Lance shook his head "We both know it's not about that. You are too thin Merlin and maybe you are not sleeping enough and that certainly doesn't help."
Merlin would have panicked if he had any energy left for that either. He was just too tired to care too much about anything at the moment. "I know I'm thin. Arthur tells me that every other minute I'm awake." He wasn't kidding. Merlin hadn't let Arthur to even rest his hand on his shoulder recently much less hug him in fear he would notice that he had lost weight again. Even the double t-shirt under his long sleeved shirt didn't hide how bony he was anymore. Merlin didn't want to get sick on malnourishment so he had tried to eat more in the mornings and he had again started counting calories and adding an awful lot of oil to his food but nothing seemed to be enough. At times his hunger was so bad that he felt nauseous because of it.
Lance didn't look convinced but he knew he was talking to a wall. He had to do something. Now. Merlin liked it or not. It wasn't his decision anymore, Lance had given him enough time to talk on his own. He decided to visit Merlin parents as soon as possible.
That very same night Lance rang the doorbell of Pendragon residence. He had to wait for a while but he supposed the house was big. Uther came to answer the door and let him in when he told he was a teacher. Uther offered him a cup of coffee politely and he and Lance sat to the living room. "I understood you wanted to talk about Merlin." Uther opened the discussion "Yes. As you are aware of, Merlin has been helping out with the football summer practices." He started careful not to slip that Merlin was there only half of the time, he wasn't yet sure if that needed to be told to this man.
"I hope he has done a good job…" The tone suggested that the only reason Uther could think of for a teacher's visit was that Merlin had done something wrong. Lance knew now that he had been right about the reasons why the boys had been so careful of their father. He clearly didn't tolerate any weaknesses or faults. "Yes, he has been doing excellent work and the whole team have been grateful for his help." He wanted to make sure Merlin got the credit he deserved. "So what is the problem then?" Uther seemed surprised. Lance recognised the type. Everything was all right if their child got excellent grades.
"I have been worried about Merlin's health. He have been loosing weight recently in a way that is not healthy to anyone in his age." Uthers face hardened. "I assure you there is nothing wrong with Merlin's health. May I ask, who were you again?" Lance knew now this was going to be hard, maybe even harder than talking to Merlin. He also understood why Arthur was the one Merlin had mentioned to be worried of his family. "My name is Lancelot and I'm Merlin's and Arthur's substitute PE teacher. I also coach the football team." This didn't seem to make Uther very impressed
"You are very young to be a teacher… and I don't see you being the best person to evaluate Merlin's health as you are not a doctor." Lance wanted to comment that one had to be blind and stupid not to notice that Merlin was too thin but he held his tongue. With that he would never get anywhere with Uther. "I am not yet a teacher. I have been a coach and taught in different schools. I have studied physical education and-" Uther was now seemingly angry and he raised his voice "Am I to understand that you have been teaching my children without a propped education and now you are here in front of me telling this nonsense?" His voice was rising with every word and in the end it was so loud that Arthur, whose door was slightly open, heard the noise. He went to see what was going on and when he saw Lance and heard Merlin's name mentioned he immediately ran to get Merlin.
Merlin was on his couch reading one of the books Gaius had given to him when Arthur ran to his room without knocking. Merlin was about to be annoyed but then he heard the yelling coming from downstairs. He paled and followed Arthur as fast as he could. When he saw Lance his heart froze. If Uther had found out he hadn't been where he had supposed to be… But the yelling seemed to be directed at Lance. "...I will not tolerate an incompetent fraud! I pay a lot of money for this tuition and I assure you that I will contact the school as soon as possible…" "Mr. Pendragon. I'd like to remind you that I'm here for Merlin and-" Merlin froze again when hearing his name but Arthur had a total opposite reaction.
"Father! What is going on?" Merlin wished he could turn invisible when Uther stopped his yelling and looked straight to Arthur and them Merlin. "Did you know about this? That your 'teacher' has not even graduated?" Uther demanted to know from Arthur. Arthur held his head high and started to walk down the stairs calmly. "Yes, father, he did tell us in the first class." Uther wasn't pleased with that at all. He glanced at Merlin like if Arthur hadn't told him, Merlin should have. Merlin turned even paler than he already was. He would have to pay for this tonight.
Uther then focused back to Arthur who was now standing in front of his father. "I am very disappointed in you right now. Why didn't you tell me immediately about this?" Arthur held his ground and Merlin admired him for that. He himself would have kneeled over about right now. "Because he is a great teacher who cares about his pupils and a great coach. I have learned so much from him this year." "Great teacher, hah! He's not a teacher. Look at him. He is barely out of school himself and you are telling me to respect what he says here under my roof-" "He is worried about Merlin! Like you should be, Father. Have you looked at him lately? He's bone and skin and he seems ill half of the time!" Arthur was now yelling. Every word that came out of Arthur's mouth, caused a little stab of pain in his own heart. He felt powerless and now when he was actually saying this all out loud he felt like Merlin should see a doctor. Now.
Merlin was also hurt by Arthur's words but in a whole different way. He truly hoped he wouldn't be the topic of this discussion. Uther's stare felt like a drill in his forehead and his visions blurred. He couldn't say or do anything. But he was also feeling horrible for making Arthur worry and Lance… He was about to lose his job because of him. Uther was quiet for a moment but then he blew up. He and Arthur shouted to each others in a full fight now and the words blurred in Merlin ears. He slid to the floor his hold on the railing the only support that kept him in a sitting position. Then something changed and Merlin heard Uther call his name "Merlin! Come down here this instant and tell this imposer of a teacher that there is nothing wrong with you!"
Everything went quiet and Merlin dragged himself from the floor. He walked down willing his legs not to shake. He walked past furious looking Arthur without even looking at him and stopped in front of Lance. He tried to look into his eyes but he couldn't. Lances eyes were filled with worry. "I'm alright. I eat well every day. I just like to spend time inside and I'm naturally thin and if I'm tired I might look a bit bad but in reality I'm fine." He had told all of these things to his mother and now it felt like snippets from a recording more than an actual response to a question.
Uther seemed happy with that but Lance didn't seem to be convinced. "Merlin, we have talked about this before. You are too thin, you are often tired, not just now and then and your physical strength is too poor for your age. It would be for the best to meet a doctor, there could be any number of things, like disease or-" But Uther didn't let him continue any further. "I have no obligation to listen to a fake-teacher talk to me like this. I can take care of my own family." Arthur found his patience snap again "Father!" He shouted in desperation. "And Arthur, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior from you. Go back to your room right this instance. I will deal with the rest of this." He waved his hand at Lance's direction with distaste, like Lance was just an inconvinience that he needed to get rid of.
Arthur was ready to blow again but Lance interrupted him "Arthur, it's best to listen to your father. I'll leave, we will see each other on thursday." Arthur closed his mouth and looked at Lance with desperation "I will make sure you will not be seeing on thursday. I will call the headmaster tomorrow and get this shorted out." Uther said before Arthur could argue. Merlin felt his heart drop. It was his fault that this had happened. He tried to open his mouth but then he saw Uther's face and he couldn't even make a sound.
Lance walked out of the house with final 'good nights' for Merlin and Arthur, but not Uther. After he was gone they could only look after him helplessly. "Now to your rooms, both of you!" Uther's command was final and they both moved to go to upstairs. Merlin didn't dare to do anything else than he was told but Arthur followed him into Merlin's room.
"I can't believe this! I'm so mad right now!" Merlin sat down to his couch while Arthur paced pack and forth in front of him. "How can father not see any sense? And you!" Merlin flinched like Arthur had just hit him "You are not well. How can he not see that?! Merlin..." Arthur sat next to him and placed his hands formly on Merlin's shoulders, his voice growing almost desperate. "Please tell me the truth, are you unwell? Lance is right it would be the best to check you. If you have some kind of sickness or-" Merlin had to stop Arthur before he went any further. "Arthur I'm fine. You have seen me eat. It just doesn't stick to me." He felt horrible for lying about the same thing now to Arthur. He would have to make a way of getting more food to stay inside of him and fast. This couldn't continue like this.
Arthur still looked worried and before Merlin could do anything, Arthur embraced him. Arthur's arms felt safe and warm and Merlin melted into them. He pressed his cheek to Arthur's shoulder and let his arms just hang limp while Arthur hugged him. Merlin vaguely knew there was some reason he shouldn't allow this to happen but he couldn't remember right now.
Arthurs hands moved a bit on his back and Merlin closed his eyes breathing the smell of Arthur's neck in. "You are so thin…" Ah, there was the reason. Merlin pulled away and pushed Arthur to his arms length. "You worry for nothing. There is nothing wrong with me." He told Arthur firmly and stood up. He moved to sit on his desk and Arthur remained on the couch feeling helpless.
"But- " Arthur started but Merlin wan't in the mood to humour him "But what? I'll eat more if it will make you happy but there is nothing else I can do." That at least was true. Arthur looked defeated and he let his gaze drop. Merlin didn't want to see him like this so he opened his mouth to say something and he was about to go and hug him or kiss him. Anything to make him feel better when Uther opened the door without knocking.
Merlin froze and Arthur's face hardened. "Son, I want you to your own room right now." Arthur looked like he could start to argue but one look of Merlin told him that he would just make Merlin suffer if he did that, so he left. Only looking once back to see Merlin stand exactly where he had frozen when his father had opened the door. Uther close the door as soon as Arthur was outside and Arthur heard the lock click. He had no other options than to try and listen what happened on the other side of the door and when he didn't hear anything he finally went to his own room.
Arthur threw himself to his bed in frustration. He was so mad to his father right now and he was equally worried about Merlin. He would make Merlin hold onto his promise and he would make him eat more. Uther never came to his room and long after he had heard him exit Merlin's room Arthur still didn't move. He had left his door ajar for a purpose and when he heard his father's voice make a phone call he quietly walked to the hallway and followed the voice to Uther's office. Uther was making a call for the principal telling him how he was paying for a high quality teaching and not for an unqualified substitutes who had apparently thaught there over a year now. From the tone and the onsided conversation he heard, Arthur knew the headmaster had given in. Lance would leave and they would have someone with 'education and experience'.
Arthur tip toed back to Merlin's room and knocked softly before entering again. Merlin was sitting on his desk again and when he heard the door he glanced at Arthur briefly. He didn't seem happy to see Arthur. Arthur was a bit taken aback by this. It always made him unsure what to do when Merlin didn't seem to want his company.
"I heard father call the school..." He tried to start a conversation. Merlin nodded at the windows direction. "Maybe we could do something?" Arthur tried even more unsure. Merlin was usually one to do and try to better the world but now he just continued to stare out of the window "No." Arthur came closer to him and put his arm around Merlins shoulder. Merlin flinched and tried to shake Arthurs hand away. Normally Arthur would have let him do just that but now he wanted to make some sense to this. "Merlin…" He said gently and took a gentle but firm hold of his shoulders. He again noted how bony they were but now was not the moment to talk about that. Merlin would just snap at him again. "What's wrong?" Merlin stilled, looking defeated. "Lance is getting fired because of me…" Arthur's heart broke a little. He was so worried about Merlin's healt here and he was wrecked over Lance and not seeing the problem... "No, Merlin, Lance is getting fired because my father cannot see the world but with one way. Lance was worried about you and that's what makes him such a good teacher." Merlin didn't look convinced and he made a sarcastic noise which could have been 'whatever you say.' but instead it came out more like 'whmd'. Arthur stroked Merlin's cheek softly and rose his chin so their eyes met. Merlin looked into his eyes and for a moment Arthur saw something, a mirror of his want and then desperation. Merlin turned his face away.
"You should go to your own room." Merlin said. Arthur didn't want to leave. He had seen such emotion in Merlin and he wanted to know if he had seen correctly, if Merlin also wanted him, if there was a change that Merlin would feel the same way he did. But Merlin slid down from the table and walked to the door and held it open. Arthur wanted to do something, anything to make Merlin let him stay but he got nothing with the door open and his father home he could just shallow his frustration and go. Merlin closed the door behind him and he was alone.
Arthur lied awake that night for a long time. His heart was in a fragile state. He felt so much hope and he wished from all his heart that Merlin would like him back. He had started to find it more than possible that Merlin also liked boys but he felt he took a great risk on wishing like this. If Merlin didn't like him back or if he would draw the line in between them for they were family, Arthur's heart would brake. He wasn't sure if he had enough courage to actually ask. He had been close today and was now actually a bit clad Merlin hadn't let him do that. Even if being glad about that made him feel like a covard.
And there was still something that kept nagging in the back of Arthur's head. Apart from this all, Arthur felt like there was something else separating them. Something he didn't see but Merlin clearly did. He wondered what kind of secret could Merlin still have. It had been obvious when Merlin had skipped class that there was something Merlin wasn't telling him but now… he didn't know from where to start. Merlin was home most of the time and when he wasn't, Arthur had a very good idea where he was and with whom. He had been thinking if Merlin liked Gwaine or someone else (he had even thought about Jordan whom Merlin gave his sandwich the other day) and wasn't over it and had used Arthur as a substitute. Or maybe there could be someone else he hadn't met, but that didn't sound possible anymore. Merlin told him very openly what he had done with Gaius and Merlin would have to be a super speed dater if he could see Gwaine, help Gaius weed and organizing his bookshelves and then have a date with some mystery person.
Then there was the drinking. Arthur had heard a couple of times Merlin open his side of the doors that connected their rooms and place something in between. After the second time he had heard that, Arthur had opened his side of the door and found four cans of beer. He had checked couple of times and the amount varied. Arthur was quite sure Merlin got the beer from Gwaine and he had thought of paying a visit to that a teaspoon for a morales… But then he would have to admit to Merlin that he had snooped around. He had been keeping an eye open for Merlin's drinking but Merlin never seemed drunk and he wasn't even sure when he drank. If Arthur would catch him drunk or smelling like beer he could ask about it… The bottom line was that Arthur had to know more. And if he didn't get some answers soon, he would have to ask. He could call or even visit Gaius and ask if he had noticed something. He could go to see Gwaine behind Merlin's back and he could demand answers directly from Merlin. He would even risk a fight with Merlin if that would make him open up. Arthur fell asleep determined to get answers.
When he had seen Arthur obey and walk towards his door, Merlin had felt relif and when the door had closed behind Arthur's back, he could again breath. Arthur was safe now. But when Uther closed the lock and walked towards him, Merlin's focuse sifted and he panicked. He dropped onto floor and curled into a ball. Uther didn't seem to appreciate this and he took a hold of Merlin forearm and dragged him up. Merlin's legs couldn't support him and he was hanging like a rag doll from Uthers grip. He whimpered and Uther shook him.
"I warn you now boy, if you as much as try to get attention like this again, I promise you won't like the consequences." Merlin nodded and tried to find any feeling from his legs but found none. Uther shook him again and pushed him to sit on his chair. "What have you told to that teacher of yours, hmm? What did you do to get his attention? You little whore." Uther took a hold of Merlins face and made Merlin look directly at his face that was only about ten centimeters form Merlin's.
Merlin tried to answer, but his voice sounded weird because Uther was squeezing his cheeks "Nothing, I swear!" Uther didn't seem to believe him "Then why was he here?" Merlin tried to shook his head but Uthers grip prevented that "I don't know…" Well he knew that he was too thin because he had been throwing up and now that he had vitnessed Lance and Arthur's open worry like this, he felt stupid that he had even thought that it wasn't that easy to spot if he just kept making excuses, but somehow he knew Uther wouldn't like this answer. He briefly wondered if Uther had noticed, he was, after all the only one who saw Merlin naked all the time. He should have noticed...
Uther let go of his face and Merlin just to take a hold of his hair. He tilted Merlin's head backwards and breathed directly to his face. "I want you to know that I'll come here tonight and you better make me happy then." Merlin knew exactly what that meant. What made Uther happy was that he was already naked, in his bed and ready to suck him off. He shuddered but said 'yes' in a quiet, defeated voice. Uther let go of his hair and left. Merlin shivered. He could do nothing but wait the night to come.
Merlins waiting was interrupted by Arthur who didn't seem to get the hint that he wanted to be left alone. His presence made it harder to forget what he had to do again tonight and again later this week and over and over again. When he took hold of his shoulder he felt too dirty, too damaged to stay there. He didn't want Arthur to touch something as dirty as himself but this time Arthur didn't let him go like usual, for a moment the position was too similar to what it was with Uther, Arthur standing while he was held still, that Merlin froze. But that just made the contrast even grater when Arthur gently stroked his cheek that still remembered the grip of Uther.
For a moment Merlin felt like he wanted to ask, to beg Arthur to help him. To take him in his arms and protect forever. But he really couldn't. He had to get to be alone so he took Arthur to the door and closed it behind him. He breathed in deeply and pressed his nails to his palms. He was so deep in a quick sand that every time he turned he just sank deeper. There was no end to this and Merlin did himself a favour with not forgetting that. Raising false hope made it just hurt more.
At night Merlin was waiting Uther and when he came Merlin sucked him of while Uther had a strong grip of his hair. He touched Merlin from every way and when he came he told Merlin to shallow and Merlin did just that trying to breath through his mouth so he wouldn't taste anything. It worked so-so. Finally Uther asked Merlin to kiss him and when Merlin refused, it earned him a blow to his stomach. He spend a good while vomiting that night and after that he sat in his closet and drank one of his beers. He wondered if he could ever have anymore of these after Lance would be gone. He couldn't go visit Gwaine or Gaius anymore. He couldn't think about that. He would have to make up something. He knew he wouldn't survive long without them.
Lance's leaving had reached the whole football team before the next thursday. They were devastated and demanted a reason from where they could. Merlin had listened how Arthur's phone had chimed from morning to night when his team mates were exchanging information and askin what to do. Even Merlin had gotten few messages but he didn't reply. He wasn't even sure from where for example Oliver had gotten his phone number. He strongly suspected Elyan.
When the thursday came, Lance was way calmer than Merlin had thought anyone could humanly be. Lance pacifyed them one at a time and told them all that it had been expected, he was unqualified and he had been substituting them far too long "Now you can have someone more experienced and it will be better for you." The team didn't agree but there was not much to argue to. Arthur had remained quiet and Merlin couldn't even make himself present. He had left to see Gwaine and Gaius. This might be the last change to see them.
Lance had gotten excellent recommendations from the school principal and he was truly sorry to let Lance go but he didn't have much choice. Uther did fund his school and he had made the situation known to many other parents who weren't happy either. Lance had been very understanding. He would stay for another week until the school found a suitable teacher. The principal offered him the salary of the rest of the summer for Lance's contract had been made till the start of the new semester and Lance was clad to accept. Not because of the money, but how he felt that he really was aknowledged and appreciated by the principal. Even if this was the only way he could say that.
Both Gwaine and Gaius were worried when Merlin told them what had happened (he didn't mention the part of he being too skinny) and even thought Gaius heard it for the first time that Merlin in fact still didn't have his guardians permission to visit him, he wasn't too surprised. From what he had gathered from Merlin, Uther didn't seem a man who would let his family member of the hook if he found out about their homosexuality. That and Merlin didn't seem to get out much so Gaius had learned to understand Merlin's need of freedom and he didn't want to see this little they had taken away. He offered to talk to Uther and even hire Merlin to help him but Merlin was terrified of the idea Uther finding out where he had been so Gaius gave it up.
When everybody else had left, Lance let himself sink behind his desk. He had been teaching here half a year at a time for over one and a half year now. It had yet to be sunk in that he would not come back to this office or this gym or these pupils after next week. He would need to clean up the office and he would need to prepare the team for the change of coach and he would not be in the game against the other posh school in the city that was their worst rival... Oh God, he wouldn't be there...
Lance let his face fall to his hands and he massaged his temples feeling that the time was against him. The matches aside, he was now beyond worried about both Arthur and Merlin. Meeting Uther had proved to be a mistake. And the way the man had behaved and reacted, Lance knew that everything wasn't alright in that house hold. Uther Pendragon had treated him and his sons with a way that was not proper let alone loving. He should have seen how Merlin reacted to his yelling and still he had yelled in a way that made Lance wonder how much of the stuff Merlin had told him were actually influenced by his adoptive father. At the best case scenario, Uther was an ignorant fool who didn't bother to look close enough to know how his sons felt or what they needed and in worst case scenario he was the problem. How Arthur had managed to seem so sound and happy and balanced in that household was beyond Lance. His nerves had to be made of something much stronger than those of regular people.
But now Lance could see that while Arthur seemed fine, it didn't mean that the things were well at home. He should have gone sooner... he should have arranged a time and invited both Uther and Merlin's mother to the school with someone else present, the principal maybe... and their nurse. But if he had blown this up, his leaving here wouldn't make him give up. He was not a teacher anymore after next week and then he would get someone else to evaluate the situation with more power behind them. He had briefly thought about police, but he had an old friend there and he knew what he would say: 'If you have no evidence of an actual crime, call the social service. It's not as fast, but if you are wrong, there is not as much harm done to you or the family. Plus the police won't actually do anything without evidence and your complaint will end up in a pile of stuff that nobody cares about. I have two of those in my desk and I swear they will mold into the desk one day'.
So, the minute he wouldn't be Merlin's teacher, Lance would call the social service anonymously so it wouldn't seem that he was just after a revenge on Uther Pendragon.
Lance was just gathering everything he would want to tell them when there was a soft knock on the side of his door. Lance snapped his eyes to the sound and he saw Gwen standing by the door frame. "Elyan just left, I thought I could help you clean or something..." Gwen was smiling softly, but she looked sad. And that was something Lance couldn't take at the moment.
He stood up and slowly circled around his table to take Gwen to his arms. He buried his nose to Gwen's curls and he pressed himself to Gwen. He stroked Gwen's hair with his other hand and the other he let to rest on Gwen's waist. It felt so right... and suddenly Lance's head wasn't such a mess anymore. He had no idea if he could be any help to Arthur or Merlin. He had no idea of what he would do from next autumn on or what he even wanted to be in the long run. But this he knew, Gwen was important to him. With her he could take that all, if just she would let him be with her and now it was time to be brave and take what ever Gwen felt and deal with it.
"Gwen... I love you." He said with all of his heart. Gwen sifted a little like she was trying to see Lance's face, but Lance just buried himself further into Gwen's hair. "Lance... I love you too and I-" Lance felt happiness bloom in his chest and he knew what Gwen was going to say, but really, at this point that was Lance's duty, so he interrupted Gwen by a small and warm kiss on her lips. "I want to share my life with you and only you. I know that I'm nothing special. I'm just a high school graduate with no real direction in life and I'm old..." Gwen chuckled at that softly her eyes shining. "But I would try my best for you. Please, will you let me make us official? I will not be your teacher after this week and I would very much want to see your father and-" "And he would be thrilled to see you. I have already told him about us." Gwen interrupted his rambling.
"Oh?" was all that Lance could say after a brief pause and Gwen smiling at him amusedly. "Yes. I thought that if I couldn't tell about us to my dad, there must be something wrong. It was actually a quite easy conversation." She said with a hint of amusement in her voice. "I'll turn 17 soon... how about we meat my dad before that and we will tell our friends in my party?" She said a bit more seriously and Lance couldn't stop himself from smiling fondly. Gwen had obviously thought about this and as usual, she was actually the one of them that had looked at the big picture and evaluated the situation calmly. Unlike Lance who had a tendency of getting wrapped up on details like their age or what he would say to Gwen's father. Now that they stood here in Lance's soon to be ex-office, Lance could see that there was no doubt in Gwen's voice. She had known what Lance felt for her and she knew what she herself felt for him. She had known that Lance wasn't going to leave her or that he wasn't only interested because Gwen was young. She had been ready to call Lance her boyfriend and be openly his girlfriend for a long time now. As had Lance, he just now realised.
"Yes... let's do that." He said softly and he kissed Gwen in a way he had never dared to. With passion and promise of more for both of them. And for Lance the more involved the future together.
A/N Wow! I went to work and when I got back home, there were so many reviews... Thank you all so much! Here is the chapter I promised and even if at this rate I'll have to write every moment I'm awake, I'll update the next chapter as soon as you let me know with your reviews that you want the next chapter :) So I got 13 reviews for the last chapter so 14 reviews and the chapter called 'Happy birthday Gwen!' will be yours. I love all the reviews I have gotten and I kind of feel bad that I'm asking for more, but I have been enjoying so much reading some reviews from new reviewers who might not have reviewed otherwise (and really I need at least a bit more time otherwise I'm in a real trouble in ...seven chapters, because I have some stuff I'm going to rewrite...).
As you can tell by the name of the next chapter and the ending of this chapter, it will be mostly a filler, but with quite nice moments between Arthur and Merlin too :3
Btw, sorry for possible spelling mistakes, I had no time to proofread the answers I wrote for your reviews, hope there are not too many...
When I used to substitute as a teacher in schools, I kind of felt that going to university to study teaching would be a waste of time. I was quite natureal with especially young children and in the end I had almost six years of experience behind me. I could handle the children, make tham feel proud of themselves and teach them how to read and behave in large groups, but these kind of situations are really the ones that one needs the education. To get the kowledge of what to do and how to solve problems and handle parents. Because in these kind of situations ones gut feeling is not enough. Getting the situation wrong, can really do some damage or at least delay the help the child or the parent(s) need.
That said, I'm so thank full for all your reviews and even if you are not writing a review, know that to me it's very valuable that you are reading and enjoying my story, so all you silent ones too, a huge thank you! Have a nice weekend and see you soon!
bubzchoc I'm not sure what else I could say, so Thank you :) I'm happy that you think that.
Angel Dove1 cyber hug recieved and appreciated! Yeah, Merlin is in love with Arthur and he can't bear the thought of Arthur going trough with the same things he had gone and he has kind of had so much time to fear that Uther will really harm him that he is kind of numbed to the idea. That is in now way healthy, but romantic? yes, that too... But that same love has done much good to Merlin and it will in the future, I promise!
Caelanora Firts of all, that is so interesting that you ar a psychoeducation student! I'm so flattered that even someone like you can relate and enjoy my story :) It would be highly interesting to talk with you about the subject. I also really hate when people get arrogant and think that depression or trauma is something one can just overcome if they want and it's easy... 'just talk to someone' yeah right... that is so narrow minded. And I can understand your english just fine, I'm not a native speaker either so my writing is actually full of mistakes I try to correct like four times before I publish a chapter... I'm so happy to hear that I have written my Merlin and Uther well, it's the most compliment I can hope to get! I promise you a happy ending, I really don't wnat this all to end badly for I already know how 'badly' could turn out...
Senile Feline Oh, my first language is finnish (a native tongue of Finland) and I learned spanish before I learned english... Why are you interested? So you study linquistics or something? I'm again happy that you called my story realistic :)
CoolBeans100 Thanks! I loved the relationship Merlin and Gaius had in the tv-show, so I have tried my best to get the same feeling here :)
I promise that Merlin and Arthur will get closer :) And yes, why couldn't he have told everything to Gaius... but at least he is getting more comfortable with his sexuality, something that Utehr has tried his best to ruin from Merlin.
Dragonlady1971 Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that had happened to you! I have no words... but I'm glad that you have found something that you have been able to relate in my story. I really wished those kind of things didn't have to happen in this world, but that is why I'm writing this story. I hope that I can write a story that will raise a little bit of awareness of this stain in humanity in a realistic way. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal, horrible experience. I hope that you are doing better now where ever you are!
LordOfTehRainbow The actor who played Gaius is gay?! Wow, I didn't know that :D Well, I wanted to kind of transfre the hate of magic from the show and the need to hide what they are to this story too and I also wanted to remind that no-one can change their sexuality, so someone who is bi doesn't turn to a hetero if they date someone of the opposite sex. And also that not being heterosexual is not just somekind of youngsters thing. And yes, Merlin truly needed that. I think many do. It's very valuable to hear someone you trust to tell you that you are good the way you are. And that is so funny that you had wanted to ask me if I could write a sex ed chapter :D I'm glad that I kind of granted your wish without you having to ask me :)
EssieScrawls Yeah, in a way they were all bugging Merlin to tell what was wrong and so finaly Merlin just had to say something. He might have told Gwaine more if they had been in a more private settings with no interuptions... And yes, Uther is getting more and more violent, dangerously so. Someone will notice soon, Merlin has too many people around him that care about him that there is no way non of them will notice anything soon...
Guest You guessed right! (As you might have already noticed...) Uther will not go unpunished, I have already quaranteed you a happy ending, so maybe when that finaly happens, you will have a love/love relationship with this fic :) You are not the only one who has told me that they want to ehrm, go violent with Uther, and protect Merlin. And actually the more people feel that they want to protect children from this kind of abuse, the more we actually silently support and protect them. When those who has ore are suffering of abuse start to feel that most of the people don't think it was their fault, they can step forward, have the courage to stop the abuse, talk to someone and start their healing. Bit by bit, we are the ones that are making the difference, so keep feeling that way :)
thejammysod I'll write what happened in Lance's class after Merlin left as soon as I can :) Thanks for telling me that you are interested :) Unfortunately Merlin won't tell anything to any of Arthurs football mates, they are one thing that feels like a thread to him. They would surely laugh and tell a´veryone, even Arthur and... You know, I would have never told even if I lost my favourite pencil to one of the popular kids in my time if that pencil had been truly important to me... But I still have plans for them too ;) I tried to phrace that one sentance well, but in the end I thought it sounded too serious coming from Gwaine so I made it so he wasn't realy remembering how it was phased, he just remembered the meaning... I hope it didn't turn out too confusing... And yeah, surpricingly small amount of people are actually straight, but I hate fics that kind of make everyone gay, so I have put a lot of thought of the characters sexualities. Glad you liked one of them :)
Cool Yep! Lets' hope ;) And thank you so much for the compliment :)
mixxi Oh thank you so much! It's not too long away, hang in there!