When Arthur stood up from the bench, his legs were shaky. When Morgana had left the room, Arthur had wanted so much to just follow her, or shout her to wait for him, but he hadn't. He wasn't sure exactly why not, he had gone against so many things that had been a must or not possible in his life lately, so why not this? He couldn't let his sister go, not like this, not again.
Soon Percy and Elena took a hold of Uther's shoulders and let him out of the room. Arthur caught his eyes one last time and he saw defeat. He had looked disappointed and angry at Arthur, but he guessed that seeing Morgana had been what really broke his spirit. He couldn't understand it, not really, but in that small moment Arthur saw emotions laid bare on his father's features. Still he felt no pity or sense of loss. What he had lost, was the image he had had of his father and he would not miss this person who his father had turned out to be. By the last look in Uther's eyes, Arthur knew his father could see that too.
After the door closed behind his father, Arthur looked around the courtroom and he saw many emotions. Gwaine looked like he needed to get out of here soon so he could all out cheer and shout. It seemed he still had that much sense of time and place that he didn't do that here. Leon looked satisfied and he had this brilliant smile on his face. Uther's colleagues looked sour and stressed, but to Arthur it seemed they didn't care much what Uther had done, more like they were upset that he had been caught. All his life Arthur had known that he would have a seat in his father's company. Career reserved for him and no doubt high salary and future that might even include inheriting it all. It had never held much appeal for Arthur in the first place, it had been just one more thing he had thought he would have to just do and even if he knew that door was closed forever now, he really didn't mind. It was almost a relief.
When Arthur got an eye contact to Gwaine, he waved him to come to him for he didn't want to rush Hunith who looked like she needed a minute before she could stand up. Gwaine came and congratulated them again, but Arthur was in a bit of a hurry. "Can I see Morgana?" he asked in a rush. Gwaine blinked, but seemed to understand. "You can… but only if she has waited for you. She was free to go immediately and there is a back door in the waiting room…"
"Oh…" Arthur lowered his gaze. He felt utterly disappointed. Morgana had never answered his text message and Arthur was sure she had not waited for him. But when Hunith had found some strength to stand up and they had walked slowly to the door, Arthur saw Morgana, leaning to the wall just outside off the court room. "I'll show you where the restrooms are." Gwaine said immediately to Hunith and it seemed she got the message because she immediately agreed and told Arthur she would wait by the front door.
"Morgana…" Arthur called his sister softly as if he was careful not to scare her away. Morgana looked up and for a second there, she looked sad, but then her face hardened."Well well, long time no see, little brother." She said with a sneer. Arthur had no idea what to reply to that. He knew nothing about this person in front of him and now he knew, that he had not actually known since his big sister had been fourteen. That was… eight years ago.
When Arthur didn't answer, Morgana's eyes soon shifted to follow Hunith down the hall. "So is that the poor woman who married our dear father? I got the impression that he raped a boy this time. That is so rich!" Morgana laughed at Arthur's face and he found the anger that he had not been able to let out during the court. "Don't speak of them like that." He said with a low, dangerous voice. Morgana looked at him first curiously and then with anger that rivalled his own.
"So it seems you care about them even if you didn't care about me." Her voice was bitter and her eyes held hate that Arthur had never seen directed to him. "Morgana, I didn't know!" Arthur had to make her understand. "How could you not know?!" Morgana shouted sounding now like she was again the sister Arthur had known, begging for help, asking why nobody cared, but Arthur didn't have any answer for that. It was the question he had waited Merlin to ask from him and he had asked from himself for so many times. When he didn't reply, Morgana's eyes hardened once more and she turned to leave and Arthur found his voice again. "What happened Morgana? I thought that we were friends?" He knew he sounded desperate but he didn't care. He couldn't let Morgana walk out on him.
Morgana stopped and turned back to him, standing tall and looking down on him. "As did I, but alas, we were both wrong." She turned again but she could only take one step before Arthur practically yelled at her back "You can't blame for our father's sins!" and he knew it was true. He himself didn't blame himself, not anymore. He wasn't like Uther. He had proved that to himself today.
"It's a little late for that…" Morgana hadn't turned around but she had stopped and her voice held more sadness that hate, but then it changed again and Morgana spun around her hair flying all over the place making her look like a witch. "You have made it perfectly clear what you think of me! You are not as different from Uther as you'd like to think!" Her words hurt Arthur and he couldn't help but shot back "Nor are you." Morgana looked like Arthur had just hit her and she took a step back. She was furious.
"You! I hope whatever Uther was caught on was done to you!" She spat the words waiting Arthur to start yelling at her, like when they had fought when they had been younger, but what Arthur had learned today weighed him down and he just found his anger crumble inside of him. He couldn't hope it had happened to him instead, but living with the knowledge of what had happened to those he loved… His face twisted with sadness and pain and he had to press his eyes with his hand in order of not to cry "I don't…" He breathed out with a quiet voice. His tone stopped everything Morgana had been planning to do or say. She stepped again closer to Arthur and when Arthur let his hand fall to his surprise Morgana was looking at him her eyebrows furrowed. Almost like she was worried. Like she cared. "It shouldn't have been Merlin. Nor you. No body…" He said looking Morgana in her eyes.
It took a moment, but then Morgana sighed and let her shoulders drop. "No." She agreed and Arthur felt hope that they could talk it out. "We are going to eat… would you like to come with us?" He asked hopefully but Morgana's face hardened again. "I'm leaving with the next train. I'm not going to stay in this city a minute longer than I have to."
Arthur felt disappointed and desperate to keep Morgana talking to him, but he had nothing else he could think to say. Morgana again turned to leave but she didn't move forward. "But if you happen to visit my university town… you can call. I might answer." With that she walked off leaving Arthur there, but Arthur felt slow relief bloom in his chest. If Morgana was willing to talk to him, they could maybe have a relationship again.
Morgana had barely turned a corner when Arthur's phone vibrated in his pocket. It was an unknown number and there was a text with just a number on it. Nothing more, nothing less. Arthur smiled and looked out from a window on his right side. The sun was shining through clouds and Arthur felt that all the colours were brighter today than they had been yesterday.
Hunith was waiting Arthur just outside the huge doors looking worried, but when she saw Arthur's smile, she relaxed immediately. She felt so much grief it hurt and the disgust and anger she now had towards the man she had married was tearing her apart, but she would live on. She could do that if he could see Arthur and Merlin happy and well again.
On their way to the car Arthur told Hunith briefly how he had gotten Morgana's number and Hunith was happy to hear his excitement to call her maybe tomorrow. The walk was short and the moment they had both sat down, it felt like a bubble had been burst. They both felt everything they had heard and seen in the trial fall on their shoulders and the air felt thick of regret and anger and the need to say something, but there was just too much to know from where to start.
Arthur tried to start the car, but his hands felt too heavy and his mind foggy and he let his hands fall on his sides. For all his life Arthur had thought his house had been the safest place in the world. Silent and lonely, but very much safe, but what had he known? In that house not one but two teenagers had been raped and violated mentally and physically. Arthur's heart hurt for his sister and they way she had looked… that was the person his beautiful sister had turned to be because of their father. And Merlin… what could have happened to him if Arthur hadn't found out even when he had? Would he also have turned to bitter, angry shadow of his kind and intelligent self. Could that still happen?
Suddenly Arthur remembered Freya's words. Merlin could have died… Arthur shuddered and he ran his hand across his face. He leaned to his seat and tried to breath. Merlin could have died. If not to a broken neck, then to hunger or maybe to bleeding… He remembered the talk of self harm and Freya's words of how blood loss could have caused a shock… When had Merlin cut himself? Arthur remembered the ugly scar on Merlin's thigh and now he was sure he knew where that had really come from, but when? He knew when he had first seen it, but it had grown since then and it had looked more than one scar when Arthur had showered Merlin, so at least after that. Suddenly Arthur was extremely glad that Merlin was not alone at the moment.
When Arthur got enough willpower to look at Hunith, she was looking at him, worried, tired and also leaning to her seat. It took Arthur a while to open his mouth to say "Sorry… I just wasn't expecting it to be so…" He said more to just say something. He couldn't talk about any of what had happened before he could see Merlin. His Merlin, safe and alive. Hunith nodded slowly. "Yes… my baby…" She gasped and tears started to fall from her eyes.
"I'll never forgive him…" Arthur told Hunith in a quiet voice. He hoped this would be the last time he would ever have to acknowledge out loud that he had a father. Hunith wiped her eyes and smiled a small, sad smile at Arthur "Me neither." she said with small and sad voice. Arthur realised that he had given Hunith a permission to openly hate his father. That was good. Hunith could tell him as much as she wanted how despicable man his father was. Arthur didn't care. It actually felt good to share the hate that had again started to swirl inside of him. This way, maybe it would settle eventually.
They spend few minutes just staring outside of the front window in silence. It calmed Arthur and he was just going to start the car when suddenly Hunith laughed softly. Arthur turned to look at her questioningly. Hunith just smiled at him her eyes glittering. "You can keep your car now."
It took a little while, but when Arthur got the meaning. He also had to smile. "And you can pay for our home." It was only fit that Uther would have to do that. "And you can go to study wherever you want." "And you can buy yourself a bed." They spend a good while telling what they could get and what they needed. It was oddly liberating. That they had really won was sinking in with every new thing they came up with and even if it was hard to think this as a victory, at least they had survived it and that knowledge made the tension lessen and the future open for Arthur almost in the way he had thought it would. Finally Arthur said "I could buy Merlin a gift…" He expected Hunith to say something, but at that she just smiled and Arthur blushed.
"You are not mad at me for wanting to be with Merlin?" He had to ask even if he kind of knew the answer. He just wanted to make sure after what they had seen. Hunith rose her hand to put it on Arthur's shoulder gently. "I wouldn't wish for a better man for my child. Please, take good care of him for me." She said and Arthur beamed at her. "I will!" Hunith stroked Arthur's shoulder with her thumb and seemed to hesitate for a moment "Just… you can wait, right? I mean… what we saw…" Hunith might have wanted to continue but Arthur got what she was saying already and he blushed furiously.
"Don't worry! I won't do anything!" He quickly denied. Hunith looked at him a tiniest bit amused. "Just go with your own pace… I trust you." Those words meant the world for Arthur and even thought he was highly uncomfortable of the topic and the combination of his own disgust on the topic at the moment was not pleasant, he managed to smile and nod and then he rushed to change the subject. "I'll call Merlin now… " and he took his phone to do just that as fast as possible.
Hunith again rested her head to her seat. She was tired and she kind of hoped the boys would go to Gwaine's so she could collapse alone. She didn't want to worry her boys so she had to be brave in their presence, but she knew she needed to cry and yell to her pillow and preferably use every curse she knew and direct them to her husband. Her ex-husband, she thought and that gave her the smallest of satisfaction. She heard Arthur tell Merlin how they had won and that they would talk more after they were home. Hunith heard the gentle tone Arthur used and she really was happy that they had each others. She briefly felt an old pain, she wished she could still have Balinor by her side.
The ride felt to take forever for Arthur. He wanted to see Merlin, to feel him in his arms… He just had to remind himself that this was real, that Merlin was his and not Uther's and that he was alive and well. They had barely parked when Arthur practically ran to Gaius' door. They must have been waiting ready, because Gaius opened the front door with jacket on and Merlin was also ready. Arthur didn't even bother to greet Gaius when he pushed past him and hugged Merlin with all his might.
Merlin blinked once, twice and he had no idea of what to do. He glanced at Gaius and saw him looking at the scene amused. Merlin blushed. "Arthur… umm…could you maybe let go?" Arthur shook his head against Merlin's shoulder and just tightened his hug. At this point Merlin put his hands on Arthur's shoulders and pushed "Arthur! Seriously… I'm hungry." That usually worked, but now Arthur didn't budge and Gaius started to laugh softly at the scene. Merlin couldn't see his mother's face but he was highly embarrassed and still nervous of what had happened.
Still, Arthur's strong grip didn't feel intimidating, just stubborn and in a way almost too comforting. Had they been alone in their room, Merlin knew he would have hugged back and let the realisation that Arthur was still there make his legs jelly and just let Arthur hold him. But they were not and Merlin was too aware of how out in the open they were right now to really focus on anything else that the embarrassment that someone could see them like this caused. "You prat, hands off. Now!" Merlin didn't sound mad or scared just annoyed and embarrassed and that made Arthur feel like crying out of relief. Merlin really did trust him.
However, Arthur just sighed dramatically and finally let go of Merlin and greeted Gaius who mumbled something about youth and their manners with good humour. Merlin huffed and followed them to the car. Arthur didn't let him be even ten centimetres apart from him and Merlin felt awkward in his mother's presence but she just smiled at him sadly. Hunith also hugged Merlin when he was next to the car. At that point Arthur at least didn't linger around, but climbed to the car after opening the front door for Gaius. Hunith looked so sad that it broke Merlin's heart. He had been afraid of his mother would be mad and disgusted with him. He had been afraid she wouldn't want to see him ever again and many other things, but this- this sorrow he had not prepared himself for.
"Mom… it's alright." he tried and wiped some tears from her eyes with his thumbs. Hunith looked at him in the eyes and tried to smile but it trembled on the edges. "My child… what has he done to you…" Merlin shook his head a little. It was hard seeing his mother like this but at the same time he felt loved. He hugged his mother softly and Hunith returned the hug. Her eyes closed and she could smile against her son's shoulder. She pulled back and put her hands on Merlin's cheeks and tilted his head to kiss his forehead. Merlin was still few centimetres shorter than her, but she knew he would soon overgrow her. But just for now, she would still think of him as his little boy and she would be there for him from now on.
They sat on the back seat and Merlin felt strangely relaxed. Like he had been tense for a week and now he was finally letting go. He held his mother's hand unknown to him that Arthur had held it exactly the same way in the court and Hunith found herself smiling again. The boys were her strength and pride. She needed to do more for them. She would.
The place Gaius suggested was close and it was a nice family restaurant. The atmosphere was nice and it smoothed the edge of their uneasiness and anxiousness. After they had ordered with much more energy and humour Arthur had thought possible just twenty minutes ago, ("Merlin, if you are even considering this light salad with seasonal vegetables, I'll personally stuff my fries down your throat." "Doesn't that mean that I would get salad and fries?") Arthur started to tell them briefly what had happened. He concentrated on what the sentence had been and how Morgana had come to witness and how he had been able to get her number.
"What do you say Merlin, let's go visit her some weekend?" He looked more happy and hopeful than Merlin had seen for days and he felt happy in a way that had nothing to do with himself but everything to do with Arthur. "Me? You would take me with you to see your sister?" He was surprised of the idea and Arthur blushed a little trying to think if he had said something funny. "Just if you want to…" Merlin glanced at his mother who smiled softly and nodded. Merlin looked a bit shy but answered "Yeah, lets go some weekend…" even if he wasn't sure if he wanted to go anywhere in the near future. Arthur grinned happily at his reply just when the food came.
The food was good and the portions were big. Merlin in no way could eat it all, but he tried his best which made his mother and Arthur smile fondly and even Gaius looked pleased at his appetite. That made Merlin feel a bit self conscious. Did they really have to stare him eating like that? It wasn't like he had stopped eating or something…
For Merlin's relief, soon the conversation started to flow nicely and Hunith concentrated on talking with Gaius. She was very interested on how Merlin had met Gaius and Merlin blushed when Gaius told how Merlin had saved his life. It didn't feel that much to Merlin, he had just helped to stabilise a ladder and with his strength that wasn't much… but the look Arthur gave him spoke of admiration and pride and Merlin had no will to correct Gaius after that. He felt selfish for that, but he told himself that if he didn't say anything he wasn't exactly lying and he took the praise in feeling just slightly guilty.
Arthur finished his food way before Merlin and when Merlin couldn't eat anymore, he started to help Merlin with his portion by lazily picking this and that from the plate with his fork. Merlin didn't mind at all. It was strange but nice and somehow he really felt that they were dating when Arthur did that.
Merlin was just cutting himself a definitely the last piece of chicken when a very friendly waiter came to their table, placed his hands on Gaius' and Merlin's shoulders and asked with a bubbling voice "How was everything so far?" or at least he was supposed to when Merlin's hand slipped and his cutleries made a screeching sound against his plate. The waiter made a sudden movement when he was startled by the sound, Merlin flinched and the cutlery along some of his food fell from his hands. He would have swatted the waiter's hand off if the waiter hadn't stepped back already so instead Merlin covered his ears and closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" The waiter was horrified and apologised to left and right as he kneeled to pick up the fallen cutlery. Merlin had opened his eyes again very conscious of where he was and with who and he tried to relax his hands, but that took some more time. He managed to do that just when the waiter rose up again with some pieces of food and Merlin's cutlery. "I'm truly sorry, were you still eating? I can get you another one…" Merlin hadn't been hungry for a half a portion now and he couldn't even think of eating when he felt his adrenalin hum in his ears so he shook his head. He felt the foreign touch on his skin like a crust that needed to be shaken away, but he suppressed the urge to rub his shoulder to get rid of the feeling.
"It's alright. I was finished anyway…" The waiter looked relieved and he collected their plates and walked quickly back to the kitchen. Merlin didn't dare to look at anyone in his table and he fiddled a corner of the table cloth with his fingers. Hunith was torn of wanting to say something and hug Merlin but she had no idea of what to say and she was unsure if Merlin wanted anyone to touch him right now so she kept still even if she wanted just to hug his son and shield him from the world. His reaction wasn't normal fright someone would have. It showed just how scared Merlin had been and what touch could mean to him. It felt almost a miracle to her that Merlin could still be like he was with Arthur.
Arthur glared daggers to the door the waiter had just disappeared through. He had almost snarled at him not to touch Merlin but Merlin's reaction had silenced him and made him concentrate solely on Merlin. He had seen Merlin a couple of times like this. He shut down and tried to make himself small and the look in his eyes… Arthur would never get used to it. It wasn't right that anyone would have to fear so much. Crimes like this had been always as far as possible from Arthur's life. Or so he had thought. Crimes were something he had seen in news and had heard of but his father had always blamed the victims for getting themselves in trouble and not handling their lives better rather than pitied them. Arthur had just started to understand today how much things like this really affected not just the moment but life in generally in many aspects and also the close ones of the victims. This was the moment Arthur would tell years after when someone asked him when he had decided what he would do when he grew up.
"Merlin, there is some salad in your hair. Do something about it." He said still annoyed with the waiter but determined to end this silence that had fell to the table. Merlin brushed his hair with a slight blush missing the piece of lettuce Arthur was talking about. "Let me. You are making it worse." Arthur said and Merlin let him pick the green frill from his hair. "Now, who wants dessert? I'm going to get one for free for the piece of chicken I was about to eat…" Arthur asked them all and the atmosphere relaxed a notch. Merlin felt incredibly thankful that Arthur was this normal and when Gaius told that he would just take a coffee and Hunith wondered if she could manage one apple pie with ice cream, Merlin could slowly look up again. He mostly felt ashamed with himself when something like this happened and he didn't like pity or patronising or silent worry that tended to happen. He liked it when everyone acted normal and he liked it when Arthur wasn't afraid of him collapsing and just… acted like Arthur. When everyone were acting normal, it was easier for him to return to normal too. Maybe someday he would be normal again… After seeing that both Arthur and his mother had returned to him after the court, he could let himself finally wish that.
"I can share with you… I can't eat a whole one either." Merlin said bit shyly and his mother smiled at him. It felt a bit awkward but Arthur ruffled his hair and when he turned to the same waiter to ask him over he let his hand fall to under the table and he gently touched Merlin's fingers. Merlin automatically turned his hand so it was palm up and Arthur took his hand in his softly. The waiter came to the table and took their orders and promised that he wouldn't charge for Merlin's desert. When he was gone Arthur grumbled that he was the one who was supposed to get the free dessert because he had been almost hit by a fork and even Merlin laughed at that. Merlin's felt warm on the inside and Arthur's hand felt nice where it was. He really was fortunate that Arthur was by his side.
The desert was great and the waiter wasn't as uneasy after Hunith had complimented the food. The waiter looked at Merlin a bit nervously and Merlin felt that he had to say something so he thanked him for the dessert. The waiter smiled at him brightly and apologised once more for his mistake. It felt a bit funny for Merlin that he could affect on someone's mood, but it also made Merlin feel a bit more connected to the world outside.
They all left full and Arthur drove first Gaius to his home and then finally to home. Merlin promised to visit Gaius soon and Gaius told that they were all welcome at any time they wanted. Their new home had never felt more like a home to Arthur than it felt when he walked through its door. He was relieved and happy and he felt like he had just returned from a long journey. He would work hard for his family from now on and he would visit Morgana and hopefully, they could be family once more. Right now, the future held hope and promises for a better life for Arthur.
Arthur looked at Merlin who was taking his shoes off. He looked so precious. Hunith told them she would lie down for a second but first she wanted to know if they were going to Gwaine's party or not. Arthur had totally forgotten the whole party but Merlin didn't seem too surprised. Apparently Gwaine had told him as much already. "I would like to go…" He said and that was that. Arthur nodded and Hunith told them to take a nap and relax before that. Apparently she knew they had not been able to sleep at night.
The boys went to their room and Hunith laid down to the couch in the living room. She was exhausted but felt a bit better than she had hoped. She was deeply disturbed by the court evidence and what she had heard made her angry at herself. Why couldn't she have done differently? In so many aspects of her life. She should have educated herself better when her time had been. She should have had a better job to make Merlin's life easier without a help from a man. She should have never married Uther and she should have noticed… Merlin would have hard times ahead. His reaction to strangers hand and a very casual touch along many other incidents had proved it. The only thing that made her feel better was the thoughts of Merlin chatting with Gaius and Gwaine happily. He was still the same witty Merlin Hunith had always been proud of. And then there was Arthur who seemed to know how to help Merlin better than she did. He remembered what Arthur had told her. 'He will take care of Merlin… and I will be there for them both." she decided. After a while she started to cry silently. She prayed they would make it. They would have to.
Arthur looked at their bed. He was incredibly tired and stripping just to his underwear and burying himself to their blankets felt very tempting idea, but he wasn't sure if he could wake himself up before tomorrow if he did that now so he turned to look at the couch instead.
After he had promptly thrown himself to half lay, half sit on the couch he looked lazily at Merlin. He was still standing by the door and he looked a bit nervous. Many thoughts started to zigzag around Arthur's brain. He knew now better than ever why Merlin was feeling nervous or anxious or scared, but he still felt that there was so much he shouldn't need to feel. He didn't want this incredibly dear and beautiful person to think he needed to stay away from children or that he needed to hide or that he was somehow wrong.
"Do you want to take a nap?" He asked so the way he was staring at Merlin who was looking at him very cautiously wouldn't turn awkward, but seriously he had no idea of what to do to make Merlin stop looking so vulnerable.
Merlin glanced at their bed and looked a bit unsure. He too looked like the thought was very tempting, but maybe he too was aware that they would need to wake up in hour and a half? "I don't know… " he finally mumbled. Actually he just wanted to be near Arthur and the bed felt too empty to hold much appeal to him even if he was sleepy. His need to feel Arthur was overpowering his need to sleep, but he had no idea how to ask what he wanted for he wasn't exactly sure himself.
Arthur nodded at Merlin feeling that there had to be something he could say. There were still snippets of the trial circling in his head, but at the moment he could look them more analytically in order to find something he could use to figure out what he was supposed to do or say. He had this nagging feeling that there was something… something simple or a least simpler than trying to explain everything he thought or had thought during the trial.
"Would you like to read with me then?" He asked and hoped it wasn't too much. Merlin looked at him and then nodded looking less nervous and Arthur breathed lighter. "Which book do you want?" Merlin asked and walked to their bookshelf. "How about the one we read at the park? The new one?" Arthur suggested even if he didn't remember much of what had happened in it or where they had left.
Merlin nodded and picked it up from the shelve even if he had already finished it without Arthur. He wondered if he should have saved it, if he had done wrong by reading it already, but maybe if he didn't say anything Arthur wouldn't notice anything? It didn't matter to him anyway if he knew what was going to happen if he could sit besides Arthur and it was starting to feel exactly what he had wanted all along.
Merlin sat next to Arthur a bit timidly and Arthur straightened himself in order to make Merlin room and choice to be as far or near as he wanted himself. Merlin wished Arthur would just gather him in his arms so Merlin wouldn't have to say anything himself.
It only took about a minute for Arthur to move his head to just behind Merlin's shoulder in order to see better and Merlin lost all his interest on the book. He had to say something for he needed to be closer to Arthur. He sighed and leaned back so Arthur's head came to rest on his shoulder and handed the book towards Arthur. "You can read, but can I just… be here?" He asked looking in Arthur's eyes to find his answer from there.
Arthur took the book, but didn't continue reading. He kept his eyes on Merlin's before leaning on him pressing their cheeks together briefly. Then he placed the book next to him and wrapped his arm loosely around Merlin's shoulders careful not to touch the wound on his back. Merlin had this faint pink blush on his cheeks and eventually he let himself edge a bit closer to Arthur's chest. He still looked uneasy and he kept fiddling Arthur's sleeve in nervous fashion. This kind of position was not comfortable if they both weren't fully relaxed, Arthur realised. There was supposed to be something to make Merlin feel… something to make him feel lighter and more comfortable and Arthur ragged his brains to shake it out. Something how he felt nice there? Or how he was not dirty? Or how they were safe now?
No… Merlin would have felt very nice there if he wasn't so tense and just barely in his embrace and if he said now that he wasn't dirty, wouldn't that make him just focus on the topic? And he should know they were safe, they were home and they had just had dinner with Gaius and all… Nothing seemed to really fit the way Merlin was kind of hugging him but holding his own body weight so he wasn't exactly leaning on Arthur. He remembered Gaius' advise to stay open and share his feelings, but he had already told Merlin how he felt and it's not like anything had changed in just half a day and… oh.
"I don't think any differently of you…" Arthur said softly feeling slightly silly for not getting it sooner. Merlin snapped his head up and Arthur mustered the most open and gentle expression on his face he could and when he saw Merlin's tension melt, a spontaneous, warm smile spread on his face and he felt a bit proud of himself. Merlin practically climbed to his lap then, snuggling as close to Arthur as he could fit himself and Arthur was more than happy to let him and wrap him to his arms. In a way it was such a simple gesture, a simple hug with nothing else in the background than to be close and feel the warmth of each other, but the vulnerability and security of letting the other so close to not just their body, but their mind also. To feel that the other was really there and not because of anything else than free will liberated them from the feeling that they needed to do this alone. They didn't, they had each others.
There was no need to talk more right now so Arthur just stroked Merlin's hair softly until Merlin yawned. To that he chuckled and murmured softly "You can sleep a bit. I'll wake you when we have to go." even if he was feeling the previous tiredness stronger now that his thoughts had calmed down. Merlin seemed to know this for he looked at Arthur a bit sceptic and a lot amused. "I'll put an alarm on." He said and fished his cell phone from his pocket.
Arthur tried to sound insulted, but when Merlin had placed the phone next to them and closed his eyes, he could just smile. "You are precious." he murmured and kissed the top of Merlin's head. Merlin hummed, but Arthur wasn't sure if he had heard him anymore. It didn't matter though, he could say things like that every day until Merlin would trust them enough not to fear that Arthur would change his mind after hearing what had happened in the past.
Arthur didn't think he had fallen asleep, but he only jolted awake when Merlin moved to reach for his cellphone. He was about to try to claim that he had been awake, but Merlin settled himself back to his original position and pressed the snooze for fifteen minutes. Arthur closed his eyes after Merlin had again placed the phone down. They could be little bit late.
After two more snoozes, Merlin and Arthur finally decided they had to go. It was already evening and Hunith once again reminded them to be home by ten. She was about to warn them about strangers, but she held her tongue. They were together and she was quite sure Arthur would be so cautious about anyone making their way even near Merlin, that she shouldn't worry. Besides the area was safe and she wanted Merlin to grow comfortable with going out and meeting people and she knew that if she started to warn her son about those exact things, it would do no good.
The streets were empty and in the half way, Arthur dared to take a hold of Merlin's hand. Merlin looked around and was nervous of anyone seeing, but Arthur's hand still felt warm and he let his hand stay where it was. When they saw Gwaine's shop, Merlin started to act nervous. The truth to be told, Merlin had been waiting to get some alcohol and see Gwaine, but now it really hit him that everyone in that party had probably seen him naked in real life or at least in those horrible pictures Uther had taken. Even Arthur.
Arthur didn't seem to notice and there was no way for Merlin to voice his concern. He rang a doorbell that was next to Gwaine's shop saying 'home' on top of a doorbell that said 'store'. The door gave a buzzing sound and Arthur opened the door to the shop. It was a bit weird to be in a shop with all the lights off and nobody in there, but they heard a faint music from somewhere and soon Percy came down to meet them. Merlin knew at what direction Gwaine's apartment was but he had never visited it. He knew it was upstairs of the store and that it was roughly the same size. Percy took one bottle of red wine from one of the shelves and Merlin recognised it to be the same one Gwaine had once sold him and told them to follow him. They stepped to the kitchen where Gwaine had made breakfast for Merlin and through a now open door to a narrow staircase.
Gwaine's apartment was surprisingly clean. Merlin guessed it was more because Gwaine didn't have much time to hang around his apartment more than he liked to clean. It was old building so it was not much of a surprise that the floor was wooden and the ceiling hight, but it gave the apartment a nice feeling. Gwaine had some avant-garde and pop art on his walls and he himself was sitting with laughing Leon on a red sofa. The room they had stepped in was quite big and let to three different directions. One was the very small entrance they had just come from, one supposedly lead to a small kitchen (Merlin guessed from the size of the kitchen below) and one supposedly led to a bedroom. All in all, Merlin found the place stylish and very fit for Gwaine. He would have to ask from where he had learned to style for he himself had a very boring sense of style.
By the look on his face, Gwaine had already had quite a bit of alcohol but he noticed right away Merlin when he stepped in his line of sight. He immediately jumped up and came to pull Merlin in. "Welcome, welcome! Take some food from the kitchen and have something to drink. There should be some more wine… Ah, Percy, my man! I'll take that from you." Gwaine took the bottle of wine from Percy who rolled his eyes and told Gwaine that his accounting would be screwed this month. "If you are not planning to eat the empty bottles, I assure you I can count!" Gwaine shot back to that his eyes laughing.
Merlin soon found himself sitting from the sofa, a glass of wine in his hand and Gwaine sitting so close to him that he had to glance at Arthur to see if this was alright. Arthur didn't seem to mind and he was currently talking with Percy with a plate of food in his hand. "So, Merlin, tell me if I'm good or what?" Merlin looked at Gwaine who was grinning and had raised his glass. Merlin had to think for a while before he realised that he was supposed to click his glass with Gwaine's. He did that and Gwaine grinned at him widely. Merlin hoped that he had realised that sooner.
"I tell you, the court was awful, I could have strangled the defence at any given moment… but it didn't matter. We were too strong and that's thanks to you and Arthur." Merlin listened to this feeling anxious of what had happened in the court and what had been said about him, but at the same time a bit proud that Gwaine was complimenting him and when he started to tell how tall Arthur had stood and how he had stood his ground against one of the most manipulative, word twisting snakes the world of law has ever seen, Merlin felt his heart swell. In a way he felt it easier to be proud of Arthur than himself, but somehow the difference was not that big. Arthur was with him and he thought Merlin was important enough to be loved, so when he heard Arthur being praised, it somehow translated that he was being praised too in a way he couldn't deny or feel unworthy about.
"Don't look so serious, it's a party. Everyone here wants to see you have fun!" Gwaine said after Merlin had just stared at him for a while and patted Merlin's back. Merlin looked around. He saw Arthur still chatting with Percy, Leon who was currently talking with a young woman with short blond hair and Freya who was sitting next to them sipping from his glass of red wine and an elderly man sitting on a corner eating and drinking a beer. Merlin noticed that he looked an awful lot like Gwaine.
"Is that your father?" Merlin asked and Gwaine lazily followed Merlin's gaze "Yeah… Don't let the word spread." Merlin was relieved to find a topic that didn't involve him and he was curious. "Can I talk to him?" he asked and Gwaine laughed at him a little. "Yeah sure, you are one of the few I have told about my crucifying past so go ahead. Hey! Old man! Care to join us?" Gwaine replied and urged his father to join them. Nobody seemed to pay attention. The music (some kind of jazz and big-band music) was not loud but still it dulled the conversation so one could talk without everyone hearing every word.
Gwaine's father rose up and made his way to the sofa. Gwaine was all smile today and his father was clearly cheerful. It seemed that he had been here from the start and had also had some more than that one beer in his hand. "So, you must be Merlin, I'm this good for nothings father, nice to meet you." Merlin took his extended hand and shook it. Gwaine's fathers handshake was firm and his tone suggested that he wasn't entirely serious. Merlin found he liked him a bit already. When Gwaine's father sat down on the other side of Merlin, nevertheless it felt a bit awkward. Merlin knew he was being overly cautious but sitting next to a man he didn't really know (and an older man at that) he felt uncomfortable.
"Nice to meet you too Mr. Mayhawk…" He tried to be polite but his voice was awkward and Gwaine's father grimaced. "Please don't call me that, it makes me feel like my father." Merlin blinked once and turned to look at Gwaine who was also grimacing and he had to snort at his friend's face. So ok, now he understood their relationship much better and the sharpest edge of his tension dulled.
Still when Gwaine's father started to ask questions like how he was doing or if he had already decided what he wanted to do when he grew up, Merlin grew quite conscious of the wine glass in his hand and the fact that he was actually surrounded by police officers. The way Gwaine made snide comments and rolled his eyes now and then kept Merlin relaxed enough, but when Gwaine's father asked if it had been Gwaine who had supplied him with beer (that 'happened' to be Gwaine's favourite brand) Merlin unconsciously edge farther from him, closer to Gwaine. He had no idea how to answer that without causing trouble to himself or Gwaine. Also… there was this authority in Gwaine's father that made Merlin quite a lot anxious.
"Old man, show some tact, you are making my friend uncomfortable." Gwaine complained and put his arm around Merlin's shoulders making Merlin blush. This Arthur noticed and it didn't take more than a blink that Arthur was suddenly standing next to Merlin making Merlin stare at his wine glass. Gwaine removed his hand, held his hands up in surrender and moved to the end of the couch. Arthur however didn't look at Gwaine, but made a move to sit in between Merlin and Gwaine's father and Merlin moved next to Gwaine again. It didn't seem that Arthur was here because he didn't like Merlin being close to Gwaine. That was a relief in a way that Merlin wasn't even sure what would have been wrong if Arthur hadn't liked Gwaine being close to him, but now that there was nothing wrong, Merlin felt a bit giddy and he took his first sip of his wine. It felt warm and something in the taste made him go back to the place inside him that knew how to relax complitely.
"You must be Arthur." Gwaine's father continued like nothing extraordinary had never happened. Arthur nodded and they shook hands. To Merlin it seemed natural and not as nearly awkward as his handshake earlier. He was a bit jealous that he couldn't be as natural as Arthur, but at the same time he felt quite a lot proud to be dating someone who was. Gwaine joked about his father to Merlin never saying any word that could indicate to anyone listening that he was Gwaine's father. Merlin wasn't sure why Gwaine was so cautious of the fact that his father was a head of a police department but he felt proud that Gwaine had shared his secret with him and he enjoyed his company a lot. After half a wineglass later he was able to forget the pictures, the trial and the fact that everyone here had seen them both.
Gwaine's father was currently asking Arthur what he wanted to do when he grew up and Merlin focused on that wanting to know the answer. "I want to be a police." Arthur answered with a clear strong voice making also Percy, who was standing the nearest of them to turn his head. Gwaine's father smiled at Arthur and told him that he would be glad to hire him if he graduated with good grades. Percy also joined the conversation then by stating that Arthur would make a good working partner. Gwaine rolled his eyes and poured himself another glass of wine. "It's a pain in the ass and the salary is a joke. But if you take this old man's chair one day, I'll consider working for you." he said. Merlin was sure that Gwaine was making an excuse for himself more than anything else, but also that he trusted Arthur and he smiled brightly at that.
Arthur noticed this and he had to concentrate not to smile with him too much. "If I would take you… In just a two weeks I have seen you abuse your work and make underaged drink. I'm not sure if you are worth the trouble…" He was obviously joking and everybody laughed but Gwaine made a suffering face "Why I'm always the butt?" He asked dramatically "Because you act like one. And please, don't use the word 'butt'. I swear half of my troubles in life come from the choices of words you make." Percy replied and everybody else than Gwaine laughed. Even Leon, Elena and Freya were listening their conversation now and gathered around the couch.
"Ha. Ha." Gwaine imitated a sarcastic laugh. "I could tell so many stories about you, Percy, that aren't so flattering that you don't even know about… Maybe I should share?" Gwaine asked in an innocent tone making Percy actually blush. The crowd demanded Gwaine to tell more and in the end he told a story of how Percy had picked a lock of a police car once and how they had driven to an empty parking lot where Percy had taught Gwaine to drive. "You should have seen Percy's face! I have never since or before heard such a high pitched scream!" Gwaine demonstrated and Freya and Elena giggled and Leon looked quite amused.
"If any of you have been in a car with Gwaine driving… It was a horror. Nobody thinks it's a good idea to drive over sixty kilometres per hour in a parking lot on their first try!" Percy protested and now Freya looked horrified and Arthur face palmed. Merlin however saw his opportunity to join the conversation "I have been in a car while Gwaine drove… It was alright." earning a comical look from Percy. "Alright, how can we actually know you have met Gwaine and not his less evil twin or something?" Percy (and Leon, Freya and Elena) were currently sitting on the floor and Merlin decided that he definitely was not that scary when he was talking.
"Well, he managed to drive me one block before he suggested that we got some beer?" Merlin said innocently and Percy laughed. It was a sound that Merlin suspected was rare and it made him feel pretty good about himself. "You and I should go to karting sometime." Elena suggested to Gwaine and they fistbumbed. "Definitely!" Gwaine beamed. To Merlin it seemed that he was pretty happy to have some new friends from work. Gwaine was naturally social so he guessed that working alone in the shop could get lonely at times.
"You do know that those cars have a build in GPS, right?" Gwaine's father asked innocently and Gwaine looked at him like this was all new information while Percy muttered something about finding out that about a week later. It was all so nice. Gwaine kept being cheerful and he and Percy occasionally fell to a 'you remember when…/ That was your fault!' bander until Percy noticed Elena smirking at them and started to talk with Leon instead. Gwaine's father was relaxed and it seemed that even if he was boss for most of them, they all knew it didn't matter at the moment. Arthur got along very well with all of them and Merlin found himself just happy to listen while sipping his wine. Even Arthur found himself with a glass of wine at some point. "It's better than beer, but that's not saying a lot…" he commented, but kept sipping from it anyway.
Gwaine had found a photo album somewhere and Percy was currently trying to make him not show something to anyone. Merlin found the whole scene hilarious and even if Percy had stood up and was all but wrestling with Gwaine right next to him, it didn't matter. Percy was still huge but right now, he was far from the stoic figure Merlin was used to. He saw more and more why those two were friends and for some reason he enjoyed seeing it very much.
"You are having a nice time?" Merlin turned his head to see Freya who had just sat next to him. Arthur had gotten up to get some more food. Merlin smiled at her a bit awkwardly. They hadn't seen each other's anywhere else than in the examination room and Merlin was suddenly again very conscious that she had seen him naked. "I'm fine… mm… how are you?" Freya smiled at him a bit shyly. Soon Merlin remembered that he didn't see her as anyone intimidating and after a while their conversation rolled smoothly.
At some point Merlin started to feel a connection between them. Like the one he had with Gwen, but not built with time. More like with something just clicked right. He really hoped they could be friends in the future and he briefly thought that if he was normal, maybe he would want to ask her out. Then he heard a laugh and he glanced to the direction he heard that sound. Arthur was laughing at something Gwaine had said and Merlin felt a rush of happiness. He really was in love with Arthur and he wouldn't change it for the world. Not anymore. As Gaius had told him, there was no 'cure'. He just was in love and there was nothing that could change it right now. This thought was very comforting and Merlin found himself smiling widely. That seemed to relax Freya even further and they had some very interesting and carefree conversations about being a vegetarian (Freya was lacto-ovo) and about living in a county side. It turned out Freya was also from a small village.
At some point of the evening, Gwaine seemed to remember something important "Merlin! I need you to come with me right now!" With that Gwaine dragged Merlin out of his apartment surprisingly fast considering how drunk he was (or maybe he wasn't, Merlin couldn't really tell). Gwaine took him to his shop and took a plastic bag on his way out never letting go of Merlin's wrist. He handed Merlin a new can of cold beer and Merlin opened it while they walked out and around the building. He had never drank more than about one third of a wine bottle at one go and he hadn't exactly planned on drinking more than that tonight either, but he didn't mind at the moment. He just would need to remember to ask Gwaine to give him some gum before he left.
"Now, I want you to know that these are the absolutely last copies." Gwaine stated and gave Merlin a stack of papers while he himself sat down on the ground next to a small tree. There was a garden behind the building Gwaine lived with some playing area for children and all. While Gwaine took some more stuff from the plastic bag, Merlin turned the stack of papers around and found a photo of himself. It was about two years old and he had never seen it in his life, but he knew very well the background that was Uther's living room. He could kind of remember the times he had still sat on that couch looking that carefree and it was a bit painful to think that those times were past now. He knew of course what the rest of the pile would contain and he felt a pang of anger. He looked up from the photo to Gwaine, but when he realised he was building a fire to a one use only grill, Gwaine's words sank in. These were the last copies….
Merlin sat down on the opposite side of the grill from Gwaine and he watched in awe how his friend was stacking some small wood on top of it (that one is not supposed to do…) and not looking at Merlin. The only thing there was to do really, was to feel moved.
Merlin felt a tear run down of his face and then another. He felt pathetic for crying and when he felt water run down his nose he had to sniff which made Gwaine rise his gaze. Merlin immediately regretted the sound he had made but Gwaine just smiled at him "Percy told me how much you loathe these and to tell you the truth, I cried when I saw them too, so lets get rid of them, shall we?" he said and Merlin nodded while wiping the tears away. It was weird how easily he cried nowadays. He wasn't even sad right now, he just felt grateful that he had a friend who had thought something like this for him. Maybe two friends, Percy had made the effort to understand him and tell Gwaine about it. He regretted how he had been afraid of Percy, he was so nice…
Merlin looked again at the stack of pictures. He knew what it would hold inside. Some of it he had seen, but he knew there were many he hadn't actually seen, but he would surely remember the situations when he saw them. It was scary but also… he had a way to get rid of them right away. He could take every memory he had and smash them against the fire that was licking at the firewood Gwaine had obviously picked up from the nearby park or this garden. He could destroy these pictures and nobody would see them ever again.
Merlin took the first picture and lit one corner of it. He looked carefully as the flames turned his laughing face into ash and threw the A4 paper to the girl just when the flames came too close to his hand. Playing with fire like this was nothing new to him, they had heated their home in the village with fire after all.
Picture after picture he burned them methodically, looking at each and every of them. He could feel the time slip from his fingers as he did so. In a way it felt scary and harsh, he was admitting himself that those two years of his life was gone and he could never have them back, but at the same time he was looking at the past and with every picture he placed to the fire, he was also letting go of those times. They were over and they would never come back.
When he looked at Gwaine who was still smiling at him, Merlin knew that now he was surrounded by people who he could trust. None of them would use him the way he had been used and if someone would try in the future, he knew he could go to Gwaine or Gaius or his mother or Arthur or Percy or Leon… he was protected and when Gwaine ruffled his hair over the fire, he also felt that he was worth it. He was worth to be protected.
There were some harder pictures to look at and let go and at times he felt things like when he had first cut himself or the night he came for Uther or when he had thought been strangled, but he kept on burning the pictures and looking at each of them even if he had new tears in his eyes at times. It was when he reached the photo that had been showed in the court that he stopped. Gwaine was still just sitting by quietly and while that had made Merlin feel like he was an anchor for him, now he needed to talk.
"My mother saw this… and Arthur." Gwaine leaned towards the fire and looked Merlin in the eye. "They were shocked and disturbed by it, but not because of you. Because of what had been done to you." He said truthfully, but Merlin just looked more pained. "Why? Why did they have to see something like this?" He asked and Gwaine could understand too well from where he was coming from. "It was not for them… I don't like it either, but it was for the jury and for the judge. I guess that is how it works." He said feeling unsure himself. Someday, Gwaine wished, he would understand why the juristical system was built as it was, but even if he had gotten closer of understanding with this case, he still was not entirely satisfied and certainly not in position to explain it to someone else.
"Then how did it help?" Merlin wouldn't let go and Gwaine knew it. "Well… after they had seen this, no-one really had any good argument to defend him, not even that high paid git. He has a long sentence and you quite a large compensation." he tried to sum what he knew. Merlin's testimony and Arthur standing up in the court had been brilliant, but evidence wise the pictures were undeniable and for that reason, saved them all from a really dragging process of going back and forth with the lawyers and holding many hearings and many trials.
Gwaine knew the second he saw Merlin's frown he had not been able to explain his thoughts. "I don't want his money." he said firmly and Gwaine regretted immediately he had even mentioned the money. "It's like he paid for me to- to do this!"
"No… he didn't. Never think it like that." Gwaine said when he found his voice. He had never been this unhappy to be drunk. "The money was taken from him against his will and his freedom has been taken away too. You can use the money to do whatever you want and if it was me, I would definitely use it on something that Cretin would not want you to use it." He needed to convince Merlin that this was not a bad thing. He couldn't even tell himself that showing those photos to anyone was a good thing, but he needed to convince Merlin. He deserved peace on this.
Merlin thought this all for a moment and to Gwaine it seemed like every second was dragging, but when merlin spoke again, he was able to breath. "I don't want a revenge… but… I think I would like to become a doctor, I could use the money to study." and then he placed the picture into fire. Gwaine laughed softly. He was that relieved. "Then you are much wiser than I am. Keep that." he said and Merlin smiled a small smile and rises his can of beer and Gwaine answered by clicking his glass of wine to it. He had a friend, that was for sure and Gwaine longed to see the day Merlin would be happy and content.
After that Merlin burned the rest of the pictures with steady pace. Merlin could now tell when he found a picture he hated with more passion than the other ones and Gwaine told him how he had hoped to get them, before he actually did. They kept drinking in slow pace and after the last picture had turned to ash, they laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it was over. A grandma yelled form one of the windows that they were not allowed to make a fire in the garden and they laughed harder before they ran around the corner and back inside. Gwaine joked that it would be priceless if someone called cops on them.
On their way Merlin asked if he could have just one more beer and Gwaine supplied him with one. Merlin told him he would try to cut his drinking, but just for today… and Gwaine told him he understood. He said it was a party and asked how was it worth to be a teenager if one wasn't able to get drunk at least in one party and regret it the next day.
"One spectacular officer you would make…" Merlin commented as he opened his definitely last can of beer. "It's up to your boyfriend now." Gwaine replied with a wink and Merlin knew they would meet some other day too and have more conversations of serious stuff like future and feelings, but not now. Now was the time to relax and that was why he could drink.
It was almost ten o'clock when they got back and Arthur had called Hunith to ask if they could stay until eleven. The rest of the time Arthur stayed close to Merlin. It was the last beer that got Merlin more drunk that he had ever been before and when Gwaine's father left, he felt it was a good idea to smile and wave at him while steadying himself by holding on Arthur's elbow. He got a wink in return and he wasn't even bothered that his friend's father seemed to know he was in a relationship with Arthur.
Merlin would have stayed forever if Arthur hadn't dragged him out ten minutes before eleven. Gwaine yelled something after them but Merlin was just concentrating not to fall down the stairs and he just heard Arthur's reply which was more or less "Is there a point where you know that it's time to shut up?"
On their way Merlin held Arthur hand with no thought of who might see it. At times Arthur even balanced him and Merlin felt every contact they made. He grew a little bit more hot with every brush of shoulders and every balancing hand on his shoulder or waist. He wanted Arthur. When they went through the dimly lit park, Merlin couldn't take it anymore. He spun around pulling Arthur towards him and out of the path. There was a big tree just a few steps from the path and Merlin leaned to it pulling Arthur into a kiss. Arthur was amazed by this turn of events and he didn't think twice before kissing Merlin back.
Merlin's kiss was wet and passionate and it didn't take long before Arthur felt Merlin's tongue lick his bottom lip. Arthur made a small 'ah' sound and opened his mouth a little. Merlin's tongue tasted like the beer he had been drinking, but Arthur didn't mind. He leaned to cover Merlin with his body and balanced himself with placing his hands on both sides of Merlin's head. Merlin didn't seem to mind and his hands slid to Arthur's waist. Arthur felt want and passion run inside of him in waves and his tongue met Merlin's.
They kissed for a long time and Arthur only pulled back when they heard a dog bark. Arthur pulled Merlin behind the tree and soon some late dog walker jogged in sight. The park was dimly lit and the tree kept them in shadows so Arthur was quite sure that they hadn't been seen, but it made him get back to his senses. He had to get Merlin back home and he would have to control himself. Even if Merlin didn't seem to mind now, Arthur blamed it mostly to the amount of alcohol Merlin had in his systems. Surely he wouldn't feel this liberal in the morning.
It didn't take long for them to get home, but they were ten minutes late and Hunith was waiting them her cell phone in her hand. Arthur tried to shield Merlin when he realised how drunk Merlin seemed, but it was in vain. "Merlin? Are you alright? I- Oh my god, are you drunk?" Hunith was clearly upset and Arthur felt a pang of guild. Of course Hunith noticed with Merlin like this and he himself had drank a glass of wine too.
"Merlin! This is not alright! And Arthur, breath to my direction please." Hunith's tone did not leave space to argue and Arthur breathed even if he knew he would get into trouble for it. Hunith grimaced and she looked at Arthur with disapproval. Arthur felt horrible. Hunith had just today said that she trusted Arthur and here he was, in their entrance, wine tasting sour in his mouth and clearly more than a bit drunk Merlin to present to the woman who had accepted him to be a part of his family.
"I want you both to understand that drinking is not something you can do while on my watch and that I am very much disappointed." Hunith continued with strict tone and Arthur took every word in feeling ashamed and wanting to go back in time to refuse that one glass of wine, but Merlin was a bit too dizzy to think like that. "It was just for tonight…" he tried, but Hunith was having none of it. "It's not relevant if it's 'just for tonight'. I know you know what alcohol can do to a person."
Merlin nodded, but he wasn't really there so Hunith sighed. "Go to sleep now and drink some water. If you feel sick, wake me up, but tomorrow we are going to talk about this, is that understood?" Arthur nodded seriously right away and Merlin a bit more reluctantly, but then they were free to go upstairs under Hunith's watchful eyes. Arthur felt himself small and nervous. He was so used to the knowledge that he never broke any rules that mattered and that he had today, felt like a part of his personality was being ripped off. Why on earth had he not refused the drink and why had he let Merlin drink so much? What he been thinkin?!
Merlin on the other hand was not feeling much at the moment. He felt this pleasant haze of good experiences and alcohol mixed together and even if he knew he would have some hard time with his mother tomorrow, he was right now feeling too good to feel regret.
When he opened the door of their room, the bed looked like the most beautiful thing in his universe right now, so he just fell on it face down. He took Arthur's pillow and hugged it to his chest. It smelled faintly like Arthur and he couldn't help but smile in it. "You can't sleep like that you know…" Arthur commented, but Merlin didn't move. He felt really fine like this and he couldn't be bothered to move. "Do what you will!" Arthur muttered and threw his hand in the air before opening their bathroom door to brush his teeth.
When he was done, Arthur stripped to his boxers and gathered his clothes into their laundry basket. He had been with them the whole day and they felt like they needed a good wash. He would have taken his boxers off also if he hadn't been very aware that Merlin was in between himself and their closet.
Merlin blushed when he saw Arthur exit their bathroom and God if he did not want to feel that body pressed against his… but Arthur was soon gone to their closet and returned with pyjama bottoms. It was not an unpleasant sight in anyway, but Merlin still felt just a bit disappointed.
When Arthur fell to their bed however, Merlin felt unsure what to do. He was still fully clothed so snuggling to Arthur's bare form felt a bit weird and besides his belt didn't feel too good against his waist so he decided to change after all. Normally he would have gotten into their closet or maybe to their bathroom, but right then he could mainly feel the buzz in his head and he just stripped where he stood.
Arthur's eyes widened when he saw Merlin take his shirt off and then pants. It was mesmerising and for a while Arthur could just stare before he understood what was happening. Merlin was drunk and he didn't realise what he was doing.
Arthur stood up and did the first thing he could find from his brain to do and moved downstairs to get some water for both of them.
Hunith had already retired to her room and Arthur was glad of that. He dreaded to see her tomorrow and even the thought of seeing her now felt awkward. He got the biggest glasses he could find from the kitchen cabinet and filled them with water. He also took some salted almonds from their refrigerator because while he had eaten most of the time, he was quite sure Merlin hadn't.
When Arthur stepped into their room, Merlin was lying on his side of the bed on his stomach only his middle body covered with blanket. His legs were visible from his knees and his upper body from his waist. Arthur blushed at the sight until his gaze found Merlin's shoulder blade. The wound had healed, but there was still an uneven, fresh scar left.
Merlin turned his head lazily to look at Arthur and his eyes lit when he saw the water. Arthur handed him his glass and almonds and tried to concentrate on drinking his own water and not ogling at Merlin who was now sitting on the edge of the bed the blanket slipping and revealing most of Merlin. Arthur saw Merlin's ribs still clearly when Merlin tilted his head to drink the glass empty, but he looked still much better than he had looked two weeks ago. Arthur wanted to touch him so much right now…
Merlin didn't seem to notice Arthur's very much hardening state and he smiled widely at Arthur after placing his empty glass to his night table. "Thanks." He said and to Arthur's surprise he stood up and wrapped his arms around Arthur.
"Ah, umm, nothing…" Arthur replied his one hand occupied with his glass and other hanging in mid air not sure what to do. The feeling of Merlin's bare chest against his felt incredible and it made his thinking stop very effectively. Finally he wrapped his free arm on Merlin's shoulders, feeling his bare form and taking every nuance of it in. Merlin shifted a bit and Arthur realised that his hand was near the scar he had just seen. It wasn't that it hurt anymore, it was more that Merlin was conscious about it. Arthur moved his hand to rest a bit lover and Merlin relaxed. Arthur kissed him gently to his neck and Merlin made a small moan.
'Ok, that's it. I have to stop right now.' Arthur told himself and gently pushed Merlin off of him and placed his water glass next to Merlin's. "It's time to go to sleep… " He said. He wasn't sure, but for a moment Merlin seemed like he was … disappointed? Arthur wasn't going to dwell on that right now. He covered Merlin with his blanket and gave him a soft good night kiss. "Good night, Merlin." He said in a hushed voice and Merlin smiled at him a tiny blush on his face. He looked so cute… "Goodnight." He replied and turned to his side and fell asleep.
Arthur just stared at him for a moment before taking their glasses and went to the bathroom. He filled the glasses but instead of going back to the room, he placed them down, rested his forehead to the cold tiled wall and closed his eyes. He felt desire burn him and his mind played him Merlin's kiss in the park. That didn't help. Merlin was fast asleep, maybe he could touch himself and then sleep all right next to Merlin? Somehow that didn't feel fair towards Merlin and Arthur wasn't comfortable doing that kind of thing when someone, especially Merlin was just behind a thin door. He had masturbated like five times in his life, he just didn't feel like it very often, but with Merlin… maybe he should start doing that more regularly just to avoid these kind of situations…
In the end Arthur decided to sleep on the couch. He took his blanket and pillow carefully not to wake Merlin up and lied down to the couch. It wasn't that comfortable for him. He remembered Merlin once commenting how Arthur's couch was more comfortable than his and Arthur felt a sting in his heart. He could manage one night.
Merlin woke up in the middle of the night to his thirst. He saw the full glass of water Arthur had left for him and he took it thankfully. After he had drunk it empty he turned to look at Arthur smiling, but there was no-one besides him. The bed suddenly felt cold and empty and Merlin searched the dark room with his gaze and found to his relieve Arthur sleeping on the couch. Merlin wondered why he was there until he remembered their way home and how he had acted before going to sleep. He buried his face to his hands.
'Why, oh, why… ' he thought and tried to go through the whole night to see if he could remember what Arthur had thought of him. His memories were slightly fuzzy on the edges but he remembered his lust and how he had kissed Arthur and he remembered hugging him… Merlin suddenly realised that there was something off. The night air felt too cold and… He looked down and he just realised that he had never put on his pyjama. Merlin pulled his blanket to cover himself even if Arthur was sleeping and not even facing his direction. 'I hugged Arthur… like this?!' No wonder Arthur wasn't sleeping in the bed… What if he hadn't liked what he had seen? Or if he didn't want Merlin to be this… forward? Or if Merlin had annoyed him? Or…
Merlin tried to calm himself down. It wouldn't help him to panic, but he still couldn't stop his heart from aching. He tortured himself going through every possibility of when Arthur could have not liked what Merlin had done or looked like and after a while he wasn't sure if he wanted to wake Arthur up right now and to tell him he's sorry, or if he didn't want morning to come so he didn't have to face Arthur at all. And his mother, he would have to face his mother tomorrow too…
Finally he became thirsty again and that made him move. He collected the blanket around him and went to the closet. He dressed in pyjama and after that got his blanket back to his bed and took some more water for himself. After that he felt better and even if going to sleep into the closet seemed a tempting idea, he didn't want to make anymore focus on himself in the morning so he went back to their bed. It felt cold and lonely without Arthur and there was not even any extra blanket or pillow to hug… In the end Merlin took a corner of his own blanket and hugged it against his chest. He hoped that Arthur would forgive him and come to sleep next to him tomorrow…
Arthur woke up early. His neck was in an awkward position, he was thirsty and he had a slight headache. Great. He sat up and took his water glass from next to the couch. After his thirst was gone, he also felt his headache dull. So it only left his neck. He tried to massage it a bit but it only helped a little. Merlin was sleeping curled into a ball and Arthur wondered if he was cold without his pyjama and himself to warm up the bed. Arthur stood up and walked next to sleeping Merlin. He was covered in his blanket up to his nose. Arthur smiled at the cute sight and returned to the couch, took his blanket and covered Merlin with it too. After that he took a quick shower and changed to a t-shirt and jeans. He didn't have much to do, but the school would start tomorrow so he decided to enjoy just the not having to do anything part. He chose some fantasy novel from Merlin's books that seemed interesting and sat down to the couch to read.
After a while he heard Merlin stir and he looked up from his book just to see Merlin sit up. Arthur was expecting Merlin to be still naked and he was surprised to see him in a pyjama, but his surprise soon changed into something else and he frowned.
Merlin looked at him startled, he was really taken back of Arthur's expression until he realised that he wasn't looking at Merlin's face but lower. Merlin followed his gaze and he saw his pyjama. The blue one with stars. Merlin pulled his blanket against his chest and blushed tomato red. "I, um…" He tried looking down. Arthur sighed.
"Sorry… I guess even if I don't think any differently about you, I can't say the same about that pyjama…" Merlin looked up at him. Arthur was looking out of their window and Merlin felt a need to go and hug him. Maybe he should have asked Arthur to burn that particular picture with him yesterday?
"I'll go change it…" He said and disappeared to their closet. He took the pyjama off and took some jeans and a long sleeved shirt from the first shelve he saw. He took the pyjama with him and returned to the room. Arthur was still looking out of the window and Merlin sat next to him careful not to sit too close. He again remembered the last night and he wasn't sure if Arthur wanted him too near.
Arthur sighed again and turned to look at Merlin. His eyes immediately dropped to the pyjama. "Can I throw that away? I'll buy you a new one for… I don't know school… starting present?" Merlin nodded and handed the pyjama to Arthur who put it down on the floor with a glare and then concentrated on Merlin again.
"Sorry, I'm acting a bit weird, am I?" Merlin shook his head. He had wanted to throw almost every single thing he owned away at least once in the past years and he told as much to Arthur.
Arthur took a hold of Merlin's hands and Merlin blushed but smiled. Maybe Arthur wasn't mad at him after all. "The school will start tomorrow, will you be alright?" he just asked and Merlin nodded. He was somewhat nervous of going back to school, but the only ones there who knew were Gwen and Elyan and it was not like Merlin hadn't survived the school in worse conditions. He would be alright. He was more worried about Arthur "We just need to be careful outside… sorry about yesterday…" He said ashamed of his behaviour. What if someone had seen them?
Arthur had hard time following Merlin's train of thought, but when he did, he realised that he hadn't even thought about that. He had just been so happy that Merlin had returned to his feelings and that they were still living together (in a whole new meaning for them) that he had just forgotten that not everybody knew about them. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he had told Elyan and Gwen or not. After thinking awhile he came to a conclusion that no, he hadn't.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, I didn't think either… I- it would make me happy if we could just be open about it, but… I guess it could make some troubles…" Arthur was mainly concerned of the idiots who could make Merlin's life a hell and he wasn't sure if Merlin could take any bullying right now. And there would be bullying. In paper they were brothers and even them being both male was enough to get some people lose their common sense.
Merlin nodded if not a bit sadly. "Merlin, look at me." Arthur told him softly and Merlin rose his gaze. "No matter what others might or might not think, I love you and that's not going to change when the school starts, ok?" Merlin felt again his heart fill with golden light. He nodded now looking much happier and Arthur leaned in to kiss Merlin on the lips. Merlin melted to it and after Arthur pulled back, he wrapped his arms around him. They held each others just talking about this and that about the next school year until Hunith came to knock their door to tell them the breakfast was ready.
A/N In the next chapter: What will happen to Merlin and his drinking? How mad is Hunith exactly? Yeah... we just had a bunch of adults who let two underaged boys drink... :P But to be fair, Arthur is already seventeen... and I'm not sure of your countries, but here at least the age it's legal to drink is eighteen, so...
But still, underaged drinking, bad! (mandatory teacher moment) Do not drink and drive! (or 'borrow' cars...)
My grandmother is coming to visit me and so I'm cleaning fanatically, she will so check if I have washed my fridge, dusted my bookshelve and folded my socks properly! This is so stressing...
Still, thank you so much for your lovely revews, I truly use them as my motivation :) The trial is over and in a way we have reached a point where I could have ended this story, but I actually still have about 50 000 words, so maybe... 4-6 chapters left? We will see Morgana again and see the next Christmas and if you, my lovely readers are still interested, I have some ideas to write at least to the spring after that :) Have a nice week and wait for my next chapter to appear in three days from now!
blue-analytic Hello! How lovely to get a new reader, many, many thanks for writing comments for the chapters as you read, it was very interesting for me :) Then to my reply for you :
ch 11 I loved Merlin's and Arthur's relationship in the show and so I actually did the same you did, I started to search for stories of them because of the ending of the show and all made me want to see them have a happy ending. Because of that I wanted to focuse on their relationship in my story, not to sex or stuff like that(even if it will be a part of teir love life, of course) so I'm very happy to hear you liked the way I slowly built it :) I seriously thought I was being too slow in the begining, but I'm glad there are some readers who have the patience to bear with my slow style :) Glad that you liked Merlin's and Gwen's relationship too :)
ch 12 Thanks! And well, you were right about Morgana. How did you like her? We will see more of her still and well, her story will be a bit more than it was here...
ch 13 I loved to write how Arthur tried his best to include Merlin even when he didn't want to be included, it's so nice to hear it was noticed :) And you were right, Arthur is indeed demisexual, he just doesn't know the word yet. You had an exelent timing btw, you started to read just when I uploaded the last chapter that has Uther in it :D (in theory at least) and now the new part of this story will start, the main Merthur part.
ch 16 Yes, Merlin breaking down was inevitable. I have some notes of alternative scenarios and every one of them included somekind of a breakdown sooner or later. I went with the option 'sooner'. Is that word 'chapeau' a typo? Because I only know it means 'hat' in french... Still I hope at least that you liked that part, I really wanted to convey that thought. Sexuality and gender are different things and both very much vary from people to people. You are also right, Arthur is trying to find himself and make difference between himself and his father's will. One of the things why he and Merlin are such a good pair is that they manage to dig the best out of the other with just being themselves. Uther was indeed the reason why Arthur was just and ass. His father expects far too much from him and Arthur has learned to strugle with everything alone (as seen later in the story too) and the pressure had to go somewhere.
ch 17 That is a problem with many cases of hidded violence, there are people who are worried, but not enough to make the move for they lack evidence or they think it's just them and feel maybe they are in no position to really nose around peoples busines. When those people don't even necessarily know the others exist, they can't talk amongs themselves and then decide to get help as a group. I wish for better communication for humankind. I asked at one point if people were interested in seeing Gwen's and Lance's relationship develope, but there was not such interest, so I hope what little I have written will be enough, but I'll keep in mind you were interested, maybe I can add atleast something here and there :)
ch 18 Good guess ;) And there could not be a Merlin fanfiction without Gaius! I just introduced him quite late... And yes, at this point Merlin is loosing his control of his own life and actions, he is far too tired and on the edge to really care all the time. Drinking, self harm, skipping school... Few years more of this with not meeting Gaius or Gwaine for example and think were we could have found him... That might have been one of the 'later' scenarios... but I wanted a happy ending, so no.
ch 19 Yes! i got you ;D That scene where they entablished that they are best friends was very important, I actually started this story by writing that one down. In my head, they are first and foremost best friends even after they start dating.
ch 22 It would have been if Arthur had had the right number for Morgana and not her old one...
ch 23 I promise I'm going to write that scene as an extra as soon as I have time. That might be after this story is already finished because my work is trying to murder me before my school starts again...
ch 24 Thank you for the kudos :) I myself don't like when fiction does that everyone is straight and interested in dating and sex in the same way or worse, everyone is gay -thing. I wanted to introduce as many forms of sexuality and love as possible and be realistic at the same time. Merlin is gay, Arthur is demi, Gaius is bi, Hunith is straigh, (well, Uther is phedophile...), Gwaine is straight, but doesn't get bothered if a man flirts with him as long as they know he is straight (and that just because he doesnt want to hurt anyone by giving wrong impressions), Percy is asexual... Most of the kids in Arthur's football team have no idea yet because they are so young. I'm so happy that you found this interesting because I have some parts to address some of these in the future too and the topic is close to my heart also :) I actually thought in the show too that Arthur must be demi... he's was a prince and he had to bond with Gwen while he was dying in order to find a desire to kiss her...
ch 25 This is my favourite of your reviews. You really Googled that? I'm so touched! My wish was to raise even if a little bit awareness on this subject and if you have done that, I have succeeded in that goal :) Thank you so much! Your english is great btw, you use words I had to search from dictionary! And I understand exactly what you meant, I was so fed up with Uther while writing those chapters... I really wanted Gaius to be the first Merlin told about his sexuality and I'm happy that I managed to write that chapter well :) About the teaching you part.. I'm trying my hardest to supress the teacher I am and not start to preach or over explain things... I hope I'm not teaching too much!
ch 26 Yeah he has narsistec traits. I have his profile written down, but basically he has to stay in control always, he is a pedophile and he has narsistic traits. Enough to tell himself that what he has done, he has the right to do again.
ch 27 :D Convenient, yes! I just had to make that one a cliff hanger...
ch 30 Yep, the truth is out and open! I actually cheered when I got this chapter posted...
ch 38 Wow... you really read it all in one go... I hope you enjoyed Morgana and I hope to see you again! :) Have a nice day of recovering from the lack of sleep and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!
ch 39 I tried my best with my limited knowledge of legal proceses... So nice to hear it was alright, but seriously that is not a very realible portrait of a real trial. But I'm glad if it was good enough to seem realistic :) There will be a long road ahead of Arthur and Morgana, but they loved each others and they both remember that, so if they are willing to try, it's not impossible :)
B92morgan Thank you :) Involving sounds great, I was worried it would be boring because it took forever... I also was sure that everyone would have guessed that Morgana would be introduced this way, but even if it wasn't a surprice, at least she still stirs feelings :) Yes, her character right now is heavily influenced by the evil Morgana. But as the begining of this chapter showed, there is still hope with her ;) Lets see how she will develope! The way Morgana took care of her broblem by herself, was the same trait we have seen in Arthur. The way of thinking that everything has to be done by themselves and that is so because of Uther. I also kind of enjoyed the tought of her getting better of Uther, but she really provoked him to rape her again for that... again, going to police might have been the way to go... ven if it's not easy thing to do. We will see Morgana again and Merlin will see her too, as Arthur suggested in this chapter (that's why I can say that, it's not ment to be a surprice...). I hope you will enjoy that meeting! And no worries, Uther will suffer in prison. How the others traet phedophiles aside, loosing control and the shame of being lowered to the level of other criminals will cause very much agony. And he is in for a long time.
Greedy Reader (It is funny :D And very fitting in a way that I definitely know who you are ;) ) Yep, the story those two cooked up was... yes just as you said. Morgana really was quite a lot season four inspired :D Don't worry, we will see her again. 'Talent...' wow, you are flattering me, I'm blushing! It's very nice to hear that you like my style and that my story is not boring, many thisngs I have written I thought were kind of basic, so it makes me extremely happy that I managed to write a plot after all :) No worries about language, when I write I avoid swearing because I like to write about feelings and swearing kind of dulls most of the feeling for I think it's mostly either a habbit or way to hide insecurities or stuff if someone swears all the time. Also when I'm teaching, I dodn't swear at all, but at home... I swear to computers, to washing machines, to noise... :P
Angel Dove1 Side note first: It was supposed to be that first the court decides if Uther is guilty at all and after that is done, they will go through how severe the crime actually was and what the punishment will be. Then at the end the judge will one more time sum it all up by telling that Uther is guilty, for what and what is the punishment. That was my intention, but thank you for telling me it was unclear, I will try to change it for the better when I have time :) Then to the rest: 'perfect' You are seriously flattering me :3 I also played some fantsies of Arthur announcing to the court how he is in love with Merlin, but that would have seriously had some concequences... Like how about if Aredian for example demanded that it was investicated if Arthur had actually taken advantage of Merlin? Ugh... Ugly. we had some more hand holding in this chapter, hope you liked that too :) Going to the court was really good for Arthur, he is a person who needs to go straight to the battle so he can stop worrying and go on with his life. Morgana is not at her nicest at the moment... that much is very true... She did indeed leave Arthur there and she even changed her number so actually Arthur's text never reached her... but we do know that Arthur lived almost three years with Uther alone before Merlin came into picture... I'm not going to spoil anything more, we will see her again. But satisfying it was! That was the first part I wrote of the whole legal proces. I can tell you I know how you feel, I'm insanely happy that now I don't have to write anything Uther related posibly at all (depens how long this story will drag...) I'm happy to hear that you are waiting for more because I have more :) See you next time!
Chibi . warlock :D Yes, finaly Morgana! And I also enjoyed her speech (it was actually the first scene of the trial I wrote...) but we will get to her story in more detail later :) Now the trial is behind us and yes, I'm also highly relieved that we don't have to see Uther again.
GuestChacha Aww... I'm so happy you liked Gaius! He really should think less of what his books say... Yep, the story aredian made was mainly to safe at least part of appearance and to hopefully drag the process and cut the sentence or even settle... but it didnät work! Ha! Uther didn't believe that Arthur would actually testify againts him! Ah, writing that pasrt was really satisfying for me... Arthur really did well :) And in this chapter we got to see them in a party! I hope you liked that one :) Yeah, Morgana was such a nice character in the begining of the series... she is not quite alright as you said :( But lets see what will heppen with her in the future ;) It's so nice to hear that the legal proces was good. I stressed about it a bit... It's nice that you talk a lot, I had fun reading you rview :) Thank you so much for your encouragement, I will stay away from Netflix and I will concentrate on school when it stats :) No hurry being an adult either, I kind of have to admit that I am an adult now, but I can still like Merlin and fanfiction and do childrens handicrafts on my freetime (even if the last one is kind of part of my job...). I would not want to live in medieval times either... doesn't sound too nice the way they are written in history books... Merlin going to school... we will see that in the next chapter! Haha, your dad's reply was fun :D I'm quite sure I will never e able to write an actual book, but this really is fun. I never liked to write at school so it kind of surpriced me how motivated I am with this. It's such a great goal to become a psychiatrist, best of luck with that!
mersan123 Thanks! Speaking about muffins... I have a reviewer here who asks for your muffin recipe... If it's not secret, would you like to share? Then we all could bake some muffins 'for Merlin' ;) But no pressure if you don't want of course! Seeing something like that would be horrible even if the one seeing didn't know the victim very well... And those kind of photos of the act itself... *shudders* I seriously hope I will never have to see anything like that. (I once had one student for who I made a call to social servise because I and our school nurce suspected child abuse and lets say I'm happy I never had to testify...) Yep, Merlin needs to break down few times like this, in safe enviroment. It will do him good :) I had such fun time writing Arthur stand up and speak to the court, it was odly liberating for me too. I had to remind myself few times not to get carried away... The same I felt when I wrote Morgana's speech. Crucify is a good word for that by the way :D
Kao Aww, you have cats :3 I love cats! It's great to hear you tell me it was alright, I was highly nervous even if you told me you donät read this for accurancy... Hey, can I use your chief of accusation? It would be great! I could add it to the last chapter...we also have different levels of court, but I deliberately ignored that. I really didnät feel like researching where this kind of case would go... I'm so happy that this part of the story is now behind me. Ah, Morgana wasnät actually called in last minute and Aredian knew she would be comming, but he still tried his best till that point. With her he didnät have much he could do. But Morganas story continued a bit in this chapter, still not very likeable right? :D Nut we will see her again :) I'm kind of going backwards with her here... "I enjoyed reading the reactions, it was so painful." that was like the best sentence of the week! Hunith really is on thin ice, but she will try her best. Lets see how far that will take her ;) About the psychiatrist... I'm thinking about it. I kind of made Merlin's personality based in the show and in the show he was very, very balanced even if his kind and his whole begin was illegal and hunted. Professional help is important, but right now Merlin has a very impressive support around him and well, I'm thinking about it. We will get to the topic any way later, but I'm thinking abou it. Yes, Arthur really was mentaly abused, Uther was an abusive person. He abused Morgana mentaly, physically and sexually and Arthur mentaly. Even if Arthur thinks he is alright and that Merlin has gone through so much more, he is still a victim too. I'm kind of sad that you cried, but I'm a bit happy that I managed to make someone feel so strongly... so, um, thank you and sorry? That almost an accusation from Gaius... well, at the moment kind of everybody is thinking that way. Even Merlin. Some are not saying it, but it's very clear they think that way... I so want to spoil something, but I'm resisting it! Just... remember that one in the future ;) Normality is something Merlin graves at the moment, he is kind of adjusting himself to this new world around him and he wants to be part of it like he was before Uther. That he can now go out and meet friends id something very important to him. Good luck with your glasses! Mine will start in two weeks too...
Ageha18 Thanks! :) morgana will appear late, so no worries ;) Her story will be explained better later, but the molesting started when she was fourteen and ended when she blackmailed uther at the age of seventeen. Uther raped her twice, but made her do other stuff also... Great that you liked the reactions, that wasnät the easiest chapter to write... Aww, so nice you felt it for Gaius, he really felt hurt... Again, I'm so sorry for the delay, I should hope I would understand computers a bit at this point but no. I still have no idea what I managed to do for the chapter looked like it had been posted to me, but it just didn't show for others. I hope it doesnät happen again. In next chapter we will get back to school, hope you will enjoy that :)
bubzchoc Thank you :)