A/N: and for the typical entrance…
I know I disappointed you when I promised for a weekly update. I hope you're still with me, thank you for being patient. My other concerns can be found at the end of this page… but for now, I'll let you read in peace.
Straight to Your Arms
CHAPTER TWO- When all falls down
"Kaoru!"
The loud rapping at the cubicle door jolted her out of her senses. Sure enough, the hot water did its job numbing her nerves and senses.
But now, the empty space where her heart was hurting earlier was replaced by revulsion. She was a fool, for believing that the ever-so-great Himura Kenshin would let her tie the knot with his brother.
When did it begin? She had known it from the day Akira presented her to him. Kenshin's expression was stern as she stood in front of him – with her hand possessively held by Akira in assurance.
Right then she had a strong sense of anxiety that Kenshin sure would do anything in his greatest power to tear them apart.
Now thinking of it made her chest wrench even more.
"Kaoru! Open up now!" the urgency she felt in his voice made her jump that her feet almost slipped at the wet tiles.
So, he still hasn't made his bloody escape like his brother had. She noted to herself.
His silhouette remained steady behind the glass paned door, always ready to see his responsibilities to the bitter end.
What responsibilities? She asked herself.
Kenshin. The older brother. The more successful one. The head of the great Seijuro Empire. A man with shoulders broad enough to take whatever was thrust upon him.
And Akira had certainly thrust her upon Kenshin today, she thought with a bitter smile.
"Kaoru…" This time it sounded closer. She turned and stared at the fog of steam to find his figure standing with a towel ready in his hands.
"Who said you could come in here?" she threw back, uncaring for her own nakedness.
Without tearing his gaze from her face, he outstretched his arms to her "Come on, you've been there long enough"
She laughed "Why?" it sounded a long way short of humor "Long enough for what? After all, I'm not going anywhere, am I?"
"Hiding in here won't make it all go away you know that"
"Leave me alone Mister Himura"
"You're going to make them all worry"
"So what? You've achieved what you set out to do!" she threw back harshly "Or aren't you done making this even more miserable for me?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that" he reached out to turn off the water
After the sound of gushing water finally emanated, a new silence engulfed them.
"He didn't want me,.." she murmured dully "After all he said,.. He really didn't want me"
The towel came softly about her shoulders. Kenshin's hands kept them in place as he gently urged her out of the shower and turned her into his arms.
"He wanted you,.. but he loved Tomoe." he brought up the topic as cautiously as his conscience could.
Yes, Tomoe. Akira's first and only love, she thought.
"He had no right to promise any other woman anything while he still loved her"
"and you had to bring her back into his life!" she threw back accusingly
His hand moved gently on her back. "I'm sorry..Kaoru…"
For some reason his apology cut so deeply in her that she took a step away from him, and with all the burning, bitter condemnation bubbling hotly inside her, she threw her hand hard against his face.
He took it all, without even flinching. One slap shouldn't be enough. She wanted to shout and kick at him to release all her hurt and anger, but that brief flash of violence seemed to have taken what little energy she had.
Now, looking at his unfaltering expression, she wondered if that grim look he was wearing hid satisfaction or any guilt at all for what he had done.
Kenshin had warned her six weeks ago, that he wouldn't just stand aside and let her marry his brother.
From the first moment their eyes had met across the elegant width of Kenshin's luxurious home, his disapproval for her had been there.
All her life, people had been turning their heads in admiration at the rare combination of straight jet black hair, dark blue eyes and skin as pale as milk – a result of mixed Japanese and British race. But it suddenly became something to be conscious about as she experienced what real prejudice felt like.
The moment Kenshin had held out his hand to her in formal greeting, she knew by sheer instinct that he had no wish to touch her or even be in the same room as her. Yet, oddly, not only had he taken her hand but he had held onto it. His tight grip had managed to chill the blood in her veins in appalled acknowledgement of what his expression was telling her.
Kenshin Himura had made sure she was aware of her complete unsuitability to become a member of their great family.
Well, today he had won.
And now he could afford to be little charitable, she thought. Lend comfort to the defeated.
She walked back to her bedroom, and miraculously, there wasn't a single detail of bridal attire about the place. The whole room had been cleared of everything while she had been hiding in the bathroom.
Kaoru picked up her bathrobe, aware that he had followed her and that she was once again exposing her nakedness to him. It didn't seem to matter, not when the sight of her body held no interest for the man.
"Your suit is wet," she told him. The dark patches on his grey suit where she had leant against him were obvious even in the dim room. He just shrugged with indifference and moved to look through her cupboards.
"Here" closing her robe, she turned to find him holding out a glass half full of what could only be brandy.
She smiled wryly at it "A toast? For your victory?" she mocked, taking it from him while lowering herself onto the edge of the bed. It took her a painful effort to sit from being too stiff with shock.
"Drink it" he advised "I can assure you, it will help"
She swirled the dark amber liquid around the glass, noticing its familiar color. She knew she had seen it, just couldn't put where.
"I'm in need of the same." Sitting beside her, he filled another glass.
It was really strange, but having spent the last six months avoiding touching her at all cost –well, except for that one brief contamination when they had been formally introduced – Kenshin seemed quite happy now to be as close to her as he could get.
She watched him as she took her first sip. With the close proximity, she could clearly see the two brothers' difference. Where Kenshin was toned, Akira was fair –so fair that she wasn't surprised to find out they were half-brothers, which also answered the question to the eight year gap of their ages. Akira always wore a smile and Kenshin always had that serious look.
Taking another sip, she realized that it tasted gross, but it did at least put some warmth back inside her.
"What happened in here?" it was his turn to glance around the tidy room.
"Mrs. Sagara and your friend – Misao, am I correct? –cleaned it all out while you're inside the shower." He explained "They needed to feel useful"
"I'm surprised Misao didn't throw you out"
"Not Megumi?" he queried.
"No" Kaoru shook her wet hair "My sister has never been rude to anyone in her home in her life.
"Unlike me"
"Unlike you" she agreed, not even trying to work out why they were sitting here having this stupid conversation in her bedroom of all places. He being who he was supposed to be and she –
"Misao tried throwing me out" he admitted "But I convinced her that you would be able to handle all of this better with me here rather than anyone else."
Even she herself knew why she had clung to him. "Because you don't care", she nodded perceptively.
"That's not true" the sternness of his voice returned all of a sudden. "I know you won't believe this, but from the beginning I knew that Akira was not the man for you.., I'm relieved he came to his senses before it was too late –
"I understand okay?" She snapped back, deriding herself of the bitter truth he kept rubbing on her face.
"If it gives you any satisfaction to know it, Akira and Tomoe are not proud of themselves for doing –."
"It doesn't!...and I really don't want to hear it!" she cut in and gulped down the remaining contents of the glass.
She wasn't ready to feel, not ready to think about anyone yet – not about herself, not about Kenshin and especially, not about Akira and Tomoe.
Color finally starting to come back to her shock-whitened face, Kaoru composed herself.
"All right Mr. Himura. I know all of this had been an ordeal for you, and I thank you for the bother you've taken with me. But I'm going to be all right, and I would like you to leave now."
"I'm not going yet.." he told her confidently. "I have a proposition to you first.." Kaoru was about to speak when he cut her off.
"..I want you to hear me out before you say anything. I know you're in shock, and I know for the moment you're still not capable of making decisions of any kind. But I'm going to force this one on you –"
"Sorry mister Himura" she cut in, "but I've learned my lesson not to get into any propositions, especially one that involves a member of your family circle"
She hastily stood up in an attempt to avoid the conversation when he grabbed her wrist. "Please,… I'm just doing this for the simple reason that I think, if you agree, we can at least save your pride if nothing else from this mess.."
Kaoru was perplexed. His amber eyes were guarded but unwavering as they held onto her cerulean ones with fierce determination.
"Marry me instead of my brother Kaoru"
For a short breath-locking moment, Kaoru experienced a complete mind black-out.
"Have you gone mad?" she choked. "Why, you despise the very sight of me!"
"Kaoru.." His hands came out to grasp hers. He looked tense, not as much as her but determined.
"I know I'm not Akira,..nor ever will be for that matter. He's my half brother, and as different from me as – as Tomoe is for you" he stuttered, trying not to aggravate her further.
Tomoe! The name was beginning to haunt her. Gentle face, dark eyes and calm nature; She was the archetypal pocket Venus, the fine porcelain doll, the trophy wife. While Kaoru she was the…
"She's right for him Kaoru! He said fiercely. "They were childhood sweethearts, young lovers before a stupid misunderstanding sent Tomoe flying off to live with her brother in America last year…"
"I told you I didn't want to hear any of this!" she cried.
"All right! Listen to this instead." He insisted. "In three days' time, Megumi and Sano should be leaving on a three-month-long cruise. Do you think they'll even consider going now, after what's happened to you today?"
She felt guilty for forgetting all about her sister's and Sano's delighted plans to take their dream cruise. Seeing her safely married would mean the end of their obligation, now that the girl they had taken care of for the past years was leaving the fold, so to speak.
"They don't have to worry about me. I'll tell them-
"Tell them what? That you'll be fine grieving here all on your own for the next three months?" he confronted when she fell silent.
"I don't intend to grieve." She denied.
"Good, I'm glad to hear you've got more spirit than to do that. But would you leave them on their own if something as devastating as this happened to them? Of course you wouldn't."
He paused long enough to wait for her reaction. "And if you did manage to convince them to go, do you think they would enjoy themselves, knowing how they'd left you behind?"
"I'll go stay with Misao"
Misao is getting married herself in a few months" he reminded her.
"How did you know that?" she gasped in amazement.
He dismissed her question. "Let's just leave it that I do know. To inflict yourself on Misao now would spoil the excitement for her, because your own ruined wedding day would sit over you like a thick dark cloud."
"Which doesn't mean I need to inflict myself on you instead!" she cried, hurt by the cruelly blunt way he had to rub it in her face.
"Why not?" he demanded. "If anyone deserves it, then I do". You said it yourself that this was all my fault, and I damned well know it!"
"It was me who called Tomoe to warn her about you and Akira. It was me who advised her to get back here if she still felt anything for my brother. And it was me who encouraged them to see each other at every possible moment I could arrange, to make Akira see what a dreadful mistake he was making by marrying you!
All of a sudden, her world shattered. Hot angry tears raced down her cheeks. Not wanting to let him see anymore of her demise, she flung herself face down on the bed.
He watched her silently, letting her sob her heart out. Maybe letting some of the hurt out would allow her to think clearly.
To her surprise, he lay back too, stretching out beside her. As he studied the ceiling, he continued "I admit it,…I feel lousy about it all. Guilty if you want to call it that. I owe you, so let me help you get through this with at least some dignity" he turned his head to her direction.
Surprisingly she turned her tear streaked face to him. He almost smiled at her sudden change.
"By offering yourself in your brother's place?" Then the atmosphere shifted. To think she already had enough, the next second she was chuckling "How old are you?"
He grimaced "Thirty-two"
"I am twenty-one… and Akira is twenty-three" she made a counting hand gesture.
This time it was his turn to be hysteric. "All right," he bit out "So, I'm no bargain when compared to my brother!"
His run his hands through his hair "I'm not asking you to love me instead, just… give me a chance to help you through those next few months while you get over this."
"and what will you get out of it?" she hadn't spent the last three years working for the Seijuro company without learning very early on that their respected chairman didn't do anything without a damned reason for doing it.
"Like you. I save the family face." He said.
Her skeptical look made him tighter "You're that concerned with family honor?"
"The way Akira used you… it makes our name dirty."
Used…How ironic. All along the line Akira had used her with declaration of undying love and passionate promises.
Kenshin was wrong about one thing if he thought himself no bargain compared to his brother. He was worth ten of Akira – and that had nothing to do with looks or charm. Or even the love she still had for his brother, despite all the hurt he had inflicted on it. It had to do with this – this deeply inbred sense of responsibility he possessed. The need to put right what his brother had messed up.
Her life, the family name, their mutual honor.
"I won't marry you Kenshin. Not to save your face or mine. I won't degrade myself any further by pandering to another method of exploitation"
"I'm not trying to exploit you."
"Yes, you are" she sat up and covered her eyes with her hands when she felt tears beginning to burn at the back of her eyes.
She felt the slight movement of the bed as he moved to sit up until she felt his hands firm on her shoulders. He gently turned her to his arms and felt his heavy sigh as she rested on his shoulders.
"..I have nothing left to save anyway…."
His arms suddenly came around her crushing her tightly to him.
"But you will again soon." He murmured reassuringly "Come away with me now Kaoru. At the moment, only the three of us –you, me and Akira know what he actually said in his letter. Even Sanosuke didn't really understand –only that Akira had decided not to marry you."
His hands moved in circles at her back, every pass relieving a bit of her pain.
"We can tell them he had found out about us.." he continued "..That you and I had fallen in love. Akira won't dent it. He'll just be relieved that we've found some way of making him come out of it smelling cleaner.
They must have been speculating as to why you wanted me here rather than anyone else. Let's go and tell them that you and I are going away together to marry quietly somewhere. Let's give them at least something to cling onto.."
After a few seconds of silence she finally found her voice "Everything has been packed," she whispered into his shoulder. "I h-haven't got anything to wear"
"We can soon remedy that" he said, the tension seeping out of him when he recognized her words as a statement of defeat."
She led him to the corner of the room where a pile of suitcases are neatly stacked. Each one of them containing clothes she consciously chose in an attempt to please Akira. So as not to embarrass herself any further, she reached down on one and selected the case which contained the clothes she really didn't have the plan of wearing –her working clothes.
Kenshin noted the choice of garments as Kaoru walked back to the bathroom to change. He opened one suitcase only to find the kind of things a bride would want to have around her on such important occasion: Soft, delicate, sexy things to tantalize her new husband with on her wedding night.
Then, on an act of aggression which would have startled Kaoru if she had been there to witness it, he sent the small case flying to the floor with a single, vicious swipe of his hand, glaring down at the tumbled array of feminine items scattered at his feet.
When she came back, though, she found the room neat and tidy. Kenshin was standing by the window, sinister with the scowl on his face. But when he saw her – dressed, her hair contained in a high ponytail – he smiled and came over to her side.
"Okay?" he asked.
She nodded.
She shouldn't be allowing this to happen but she couldn't to find the strength to put up any more opposition.
"Leave the talking to me." He advised as he turned her towards the bedroom door.
He was quite right about one thing: he was the only person she felt she could share the torment with, because he had been the one to instigate it in the first place.
TBC…
Preview of the Next Chapter – The Show
Why do you dislike me so much? Is it because of my status? My mixed race?
She asked herself, not knowing she said it out loud. Still, his response startled her.
"What?" he rasped "did I hear you correctly? Were you just accusing me of racial prejudice then?"
Actually, she hadn't meant to offend him. But from his reaction, that was exactly what she had done.
"..You hated to touch me.." she reminded him "..or even look at me if you could avoid it. What else was I supposed to think?
"Well not what you did think!" he got up, and she felt oddly lost without him close to her "You actually believed me stupid enough to dislike your relationship with my brother because of your mixed race?"
She closed her eyes again, too tired to do much more than smile ruefully at his reaction.
But the real point was, if it wasn't her mixed race, then what was it he didn't like about her? Because there was definitely something..
Too long for a second chap isn't it? Well, at least I tried not to make it a boring chapter, so please tell me what you think.
REVIEW RESPONSES: (I decided to leave it here for everyone to be informed of some of your inquiries.)
deliriou599 here's the next chap for you! XD
amie689 I'm glad you appreciated the first, Overwhelmed to know you loved the revision, and thankful for your encouraging review!
Auditory Eden Kaoru and Megumi here are sisters. Sano is Kaoru's brother in law since he is married to her sister. Akira is Kaoru's supposed-to-be groom and Kenshin is her supposed-to-be brother in law. What I mean in the summary is that Kenshin is willing to step right into his half-brother (Akira's) shoes. And I changed the text alignment like you've asked.
Sorry If I got you confused with the summary...I already changed it anyway.^^ thanks for noting this mistake.
miniwooyou're welcome. I just found it good for a KxK plot. How's your stories anyway? Hope you update them soon^^
nma5 thank you! I really appreciate you pal! You've been there for most of my fics so I really care about your reviews. Kaoru's reaction was only due to her emotional overload. The line actually came from the original story itself so you have to blame Miss Reid for that (just kidding) however, you should not take it personally because I didn't intend for it to sound in general.
bbzachariah don't worry, I didn't take it as a flame (I've seen worse of those) I considered your suggestions, but no, I didn't plan on getting a beta reader at the first place. I'll be shouldering this alone to improve my writing (but from your reaction I realized I really made a mess at the first version) so sorry if it sounded that way. Thanks a lot! I hope you don't lose hope in this story.
Kenjutsu2Pincess thank you, I hope you're not disappointed with last chap's revision
lhor thank you for your review. Though I don't think she'll bounce back soon enough^^
deepsapphiresoul when I first read the novel I didn't find it that heart breaking. I'm surprised you're that affected.
kagomes heart there are some fics involving Akira with Kaoru. I prefer Enishi but he didn't seem to fit in the requirements of the situations I would be putting him in the later chaps.
makoto chieko you're the first reviewer so I give you my warmest thanks. Yes I will finish this story, that's why I had to revise it. I'm just so terribly sorry I made you all wait longer than I promised to.