This is supposed to be a song fic. But I'm too lazy to make it longer. Anyway, please drop by my DA account (link on my profile) and drop a birthday message to Kenshin at the Ginger and Jasmine group. Thanks!

BTW, I recommend listening to Bonnie Pink's "Last Kiss" while reading this.

#3. Wall

Beep

I found myself getting lost at the colors of the familiar cinnamon walls of the suite again. Actually, it's not cinnamon, if it weren't for the glow of the table lamp at the side of the bed.

I had always imagined it to be like this as I've seen on movies; crumpled sheets, room lit by a yellow light, clothed strewn here and there,..

But not like this,…not without you at my side. The man and the woman should have been together at the bed, you know,..tangled limbs and everything.

It's a funny feeling, waking up like this after a night of passion. If you'd ask others they would give you dreamy like descriptions of their own experiences.

But I would make an exception as I lay here awake, hearing the rustle of water inside the shower. I could almost see you; beads of water running down your toned body, hair sticking to your shoulders like freshly drawn blood.

Of course I would know! I'm your whore!

And what else would I be? Your friend? Hah. As much as I want to delude myself with that right, I can't.

Since that day, I could never get myself to look at you as a friend.

Back then, I'm just your friend Kaoru, the one you always hang out with, laugh with, share stories with…

cry with.

I can still remember it clearly. The day your heart fell for another. Remembering it made me shiver, so I drew the silky blanket more to my body, hiding my nakedness even from the confines of the room. It hurts, seeing you do the things you once did with me with her.

But being the good friend I am, I kept my distance from you as not to ruin both of your happiness. I love you enough to let you go.

Did you really think that I stopped seeing you as a friend since she came? NO,…you've got it all wrong. I'm pertaining to that day, when you knocked at the door of my shabby apartment and asked me the most embarrassing question a 'guy' friend had the guts to ask to a girl.

"Are you a virgin?"

I know you Kenshin Himura, If I didn't give you the answer you want, I'm sure you'd laugh your brai ns out at me, telling me that I'd already be a grandma before I'd had the chance to get laid. I usually let you get away with those jokes of yours. But I'm not falling for this one.

"No."

You know me enough to figure out I was lying, and you also know that I don't want my intimate issues to be brought up as casually as that. Not especially by someone I want my first time to be with. But I was astounded when you grinned at me. Not that friendly grin you always gave me, but a predatory grin.

"I knew I had it in you! So, who's the lucky guy?"

"Some guy at a club me and my girl friends went to,.. It's just a one night stand thingy"

I started it so I decided to play along; I knew you would figure it out eventually, and we could give a good laugh about it.

"Then I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I did this"

I didn't saw that coming, the next second you just pounced me! I can't even remember how you did my first time, actually. But it didn't matter to me, because I somehow got my wish granted to share it with you.

The next morning, I was grinning like an idiot when I woke up, despite the fact that I felt VERY sore. I turned to your side of the bed only to find no one.

That was when it registered; you're in a relationship, I'm just a forgotten friend. What kind of fool would ever think that you would leave her for me?

Oh, sorry, that would be me.

Beep

It was just sex I figured out, and I became your practice material…Well…sort of…. I don't know whether or not I would be thankful I lied, you never found out, we didn't have the chance to laugh about it.

However, Fate did, since I became its joke.

It's just matter of give and take, no feelings involved. And for that reason; I seized the scraps of what small amount I could get from you and offered you the only thing that would deem of use for you. Thus, we went from friends to friends with benefits. I just wished that you didn't manage to turn her into a hellcat in bed after all those "sessions" you earned from me.

And speaking of those "sessions", I have always felt a rising feeling within the pit of my stomach whenever we meet up for our trysts, but every time I see you smile at me, grunts in your exertion and moan at your pleasure, I seem to forget myself. I'm a fool for thinking that it really meant something, that you could have at least had a teenie-winnie speck of affection for me. And with that truth, the feeling only gets worse; especially when it's time you had to leave.

What it is, I really wouldn't like to know.

Beep

I was roused from my stupor when I heard you coming out of the bathroom and your scent wafted through the room. I heard the shuffling of fabrics as you put your pants on and I knew you just got dressed.

Beep

A few minutes and I know you would walk out this room again. You're too kind to bring me here as not to taint the only remnant of our friendship that is my apartment, though I had to admit, that is where we first had sex, remember?

You deserve a good wife; someone able to make you breakfast in bed, someone to kiss you first thing in the morning at the first crack of your eyelids. Someone you could make love with, without using condoms.

Beep

Someone like her. Not a love starved, lying hypocrite like me.

Now I'm just your whore, Kaoru. The one you fuck with, and with elastic condoms, too… but even for that single filthy right I want to be selfish…

Beep

There's the strange feeling again. The alarm sounded, insisting me to get up. I failed to notice its persistent noise a while ago.

I hoped you would stay longer. But the clock read that it's already four in the morning.

I heard the door close with a click.

and my tears fell.

Beep…

Stone me to death, but don't flame me! Hahaha

Keep the reviews coming folks..^^