The morning of Christmas eve was beautiful. The weather was cold and crisp and the sun had decided to show itself making everything look brighter and somehow more storybook like. During the night some snow had fallen and Merlin loved it even if it was wet and the thin layer that covered everything had already been broken by dark footprints where the early dog walker who lived just few houses down the street had jogged at seven o'clock like she always did. When Merlin leaned to their window shelf, he couldn't help but feel that even the weather looked like Christmas.
He felt it in his every bone, it was his favourite holiday. He could smell the food his mother had ever only made for Christmas, he could feel it in the air and he could see it around him. This Christmas was going to be like Christmas was supposed to be. Merlin just knew it.
"The weather looks nice..." Arthur had also woken up and he was currently looking out of the window from behind Merlin's shoulder. "It's perfect." Merlin answered and didn't turn. Arthur was only wearing his boxers and Merlin didn't want to get distracted from his Christmas mood. Not even to oggle at Arthur. Especially not to oggle at Arthur who had started to sleep without pyjama altogether and actually spend most of the time in mornings and evenings like that in their room. Alright Merlin did like it, seeing Arthur act naturally only in his briefs made Merlin also get used to the fact that being naked (or almost at least) wasn't that big of a deal, but the way Arthur made a point of it… Merlin just wasn't going to pay any attention to Arthur right now, he had a Christmas to enjoy.
"Could I get my first Christmas kiss?" Arthur asked innocently and rested his chin on Merlin's shoulder. There was a small pause when Merlin tried to think for a reason to stay stubborn, but yeah, there wasn't one.
Arthur kissed him as soon as he turned his head and in seconds Merlin felt that this had actually always been a part of his perfect Christmas, he just hadn't known it until now. Arthur's lips were soft and the way he moved them to caress his bottom lip made Merlin's head feel light. Arthur cupped Merlin's cheek and his hand was so very warm. The cool air that hung next to the window started to feel warmer and if something could beat the smell of oranges and cinnamon, it was the soft smell of Arthur's bare skin.
Arthur ended the kiss softly and hugged Merlin close. He wasn't as hyped as Merlin, but he felt calm and serene in a way he didn't remember ever being. Celebrating Christmas itself held very little meaning to him, he would have been very happy just to spend time in close proximity from Merlin, but it seemed to him that Merlin was very keen on showing him how Christmas was supposed to be celebrated, so he would happily do that.
it was way later than usual when Merlin went downstairs to collect some breakfast to eat. He knew his mother's Christmas eve routines and one of them was that the kitchen was so full that eating in bed was more mandatory than recommendable. Merlin nicked what he knew he liked while his mother tried to protect what she could from her son. Arthur didn't quite get this ritual, but he didn't complain when Merlin returned to sit under the same blanket with him and shared a plate full of meatballs, stuffed mushrooms, cheese and freshly baked bread.
After a very long and cuddly breakfast Merlin told Arthur he was going to call to Gwen and Vivian and Will to wish them merry Christmas and from that Arthur got an idea to call to Morgana. It was the first sign of Arthur really getting to holiday spirit and Merlin truly hoped that Morgana would answer, but after Gwen had already answered and told Merlin how her morning had gone, it was obvious Morgana wasn't picking up and Arthur settled on talking with Gwen together with Merlin. They put a speaker on and soon after Lance also joined the conversation. It was great even if Merlin felt a bit embarrassed of this level of openness as a couple. Even if Arthur didn't actually say anything too couple-like, Merlin still felt he was sharing too much, but after the call ended, it actually felt nice and Merlin could honestly say his day was getting better and better.
Until Arthur told he was going to run a bit. It wasn't that Merlin couldn't enjoy the morning with his mother too and he was about to call to Vivian anyway, but Merlin saw it in Arthur's eyes that he was feeling a bit hurt that his sister hadn't answered and that was the reason he needed some fresh air for. That… made Merlin sad. He hoped Morgana would have enough sense to call her brother back. He was quite sure he didn't like Morgana that much.
Vivian was like she always was. While talking to her Merlin focused on searching for the qualities he had listed to Lee and it was nice, to remember why he had actually hung out with this girl for more than two years. Vivian had some (a lot) family coming over and to Merlin it sounded like Vivian was actually quite an easy person to be around compared to them.
"And I swear if I have to listen one more comment of how I'm a 'pretty doll', I'm going to test if the police nowadays can solve a murder in a locked room." Vivian gave Merlin her worst after she had apparently locked herself to their attic. She sounded nothing like a pretty doll.
"Umm, couldn't you just tell your aunt to stop doing that?" Merlin had to ask, it wasn't like Vivian was known of her takt. "I wish I could! But father has told me to be 'polite' to them." Vivian moaned and she sounded a lot like 'being polite' was the worst possible thing to be forced to do. "Alright… " Merlin had a very hard time trying to image Vivian being polite to anyone. Possibly not mean or slightly more agreeable, but really, truly polite? Surely not…
"Yes! Imagine me, me going around with 'Oh your dress sure looks pretty aunt Prudence, I can see your tailors talent!' or maybe 'Yes, uncle George, that is truly fascinating, but I'll go and not trouble my pretty little head with it, as you said.' or how could I forget 'Thank you so much grandmother dear for reminding me that if I keep talking this much, I will never get married, you are such a delight!' Argh! I'm going to be crazy soon! Can't you come and take them all off my case? They would all be so shocked of what you wear that they would forget that I exist..." Vivian rambled on her tone changing from pretentious to murderous and Merlin had to admire the change of tone Vivian could muster. She didn't even sound the same person.
"Thanks… but if this is your 'polite'..." Merlin felt just a tiniest bit of hurt for his choice of clothing, he had been a lot worse a year ago in his own opinion. "I don't need to be polite to you. Besides I don't care what you wear, they do." That might have been a compliment and the way Vivian sounded made Merlin almost wish he could invite Vivian over to escape whatever she was dealing with at the moment. "Like you don't have to be polite to Arthur or Lee? They are almost afraid of you, you know?" he continued instead hoping to get Vivian to cheer up at least. It was, fun to talk with Vivian nowadays, it really was.
"Lee's family are of new money and I never got along with Arthur. He never paid any attention to me when we were kids." Vivian said with a scoff and Merlin was in a loss of words. The way Vivian said 'new money' sounded like an insult (much more normal tone for Vivian) and that she didn't like Arthur because he had never paid attention to her? Had she tried to get Arthur's attention once? That was very, very hard to imagine.
"He has eaten with us every other day the whole year you know." Merlin tried, but Vivian sounded uninterested "Oh, has he?" and Merlin felt like laughing out loud. Just when he had thought he understood this girl even a little bit. "Besides, he's not eating with us, he's eating with you." Vivian continued unexpectedly catching Merlin by surprise. "Anyway, you should come and visit someday, preferably before my grandmother leaves." Vivian continued again sounding like she was listening the conversation she was part of.
"So she can think you are about to marry? No thank you, your father will kill me." Merlin said and shuddered. "Oh for God's sake Merlin you have to stop listening to Arthur! It was once my father threatened him and even that was a mistake! I hope I don't have to repeat myself, but my father knows you are dating!" Vivian sounded frustrated and Merlin made a note of one more thing he knew about Vivian: she didn't like repeating or telling things she found obvious. Even if the rest of the humanity didn't find her logic even followable.
"...Alright..." Merlin managed to say. He distantly remembered that lie from a year ago. "But only if you get the permission from your father!" he continued as soon as his brain caught up. He would not find himself from a situation where he would have to explain to Vivian's father (who knew Uther and was for that reason twice as scary as he should be) why he was standing on their doorsteps.
"Of course. I'll text you the date!" Vivian sounded now happy, but Merlin still risked to ruin it "Or you could call me and ask if the date is alright for me." To his surprise Vivian seemed to cheer up even more. "Then you promise to answer your phone! I will get back to you, now I have old bats to entertain!" she said and hung up before Merlin managed to wish her merry Christmas.
After that calling to Will was easy and unstressful. He was full of the same kind of holiday spirit than Merlin and it didn't take long for Merlin to get back to his hype that he had forgotten while he had been confused by Vivian. Comparing the food, the presents they (Will) hoped to get and how much snow had piled to their home village made Merlin so carefree that when Will told he had a chance to come and visit during New Year's, Merlin just said 'sure!' and told him to call when he knew when he would come. Only after the call had ended, Merlin realised what inviting his old friend to visit could mean.
While Merlin was talking with his mother about Will coming for a visit, Arthur returned from his jog. His cheeks were pink from the cold and he was in so high spirits that Merlin felt his worry dim. It wasn't a long discussion after that. Arthur was alright with Merlin's long time friend coming over, Hunith was excited about seeing Will after such a long time and Merlin started to forget what he had gotten so worked up with, it was just Will.
"I'll try to call Morgana again." Arthur said when the conversation turned to one between Merlin and Hunith remembering people from their village and how they all were nowadays. Arthur had talked only once with Morgana after he had gotten back to school, but it had been alright so Arthur hoped his sister would be at least a bit happy even if he didn't have a present for her (since he didn't have Morgana's address).
Morgana didn't answer this time either. Arthur sighed and wondered a while if he should call third time later, maybe after lunch or something, but he wasn't sure if he should bother Morgana when she clearly wasn't answering. He didn't even know if Morgana didn't answer to him because she was busy, or because she didn't want to talk with him.
Arthur was still sitting on their couch when Merlin closed the door of their room. "Did she answer?" he asked and Arthur shook his head before placing his phone down and sighing again. "Maybe she's busy..." Merlin tried to help Arthur believe to the reason he hoped was true. "Yeah, maybe. Did you already make your calls?" He said feeling a bit disappointed, but changing the subject. He wasn't going to ruin his Christmas that had Merlin in it, Gwaine coming to visit and enough delicious food to feed him twice for a week, if he could deduce anything from the amount of food Hunith had been carrying home.
"Yep. Oh! Did you get a text from Finna and Tilly too?" Merlin asked and Arthur showed him a text with a picture of deers and a sledge in it with a text 'The best of Holidays! -Finna and Tilly'. Merlin grinned and showed a very similar text with candles in front of a window with snow piled on the rim. Arthur chuckled. He didn't feel such a connection to either of the social workers like Merlin did, but it was still a nice feeling to be remembered. Especially since the text wasn't just a copy-paste for everyone they knew like he had first thought.
"By the way, what did you do to Vivian to make her father angry at you?" Merlin asked after he had properly leaned to Arthur's side. Arthur grimaced and he said with a long suffering tone "Ugh, don't remind me of that..." but that of course just made Merlin even more curious and after he had leaned even further and blinked at him couple of times Arthur sighed. "Alright… it was one of Oliver's parent's garden parties, they had those a lot when we were still kids and they have this big garden so of course we played football, Oliver had just joined the team, and I ran backwards to Vivian who started to cry."
Merlin leaned even closer to Arthur, practically sticking his nose to Arthur's chin, this seemed like an interesting story. "I thought she was hurt so I tried to help her, but at that point she started to kick and scream and the next thing I knew her father is shaking me and yelling at me. I was twelve and even if he's not that big of a guy, he was very scary back then so you can wipe that stupid grin off your face." Arthur finished his story and Merlin tried not to laugh, until he remembered that he had promised to go and visit Vivian's home during holidays.
After he had told that to Arthur, he seemed to think carefully. "I would say I'll come with you, but I think Olaf will be more relaxed if I'm not there… He's actually quite a relaxed person if you stay on the good side of his daughter… but not too good." Arthur advised him and Merlin tried to think if he had ever made Vivian that angry… At least she had never tried to kick him. And there was no way in universe he would get 'too close' to her.
"Why was Vivian crying? Was she hurt?" He had to ask even if he most definitely wouldn't risk of being too close to Vivian much less so close he could possibly make her fall. "It turned out, I ruined her favourite dress. She likes you and that what matters to Olaf." Arthur said very seriously, but he didn't seem at all worried, so Merlin didn't feel like he should worry either, at least not before he was actually going, so he laughed.
"You can laugh all you want, Vivian has been a total nightmare since, you stay clear of her wardrobe!" Arthur joked and Merlin laughed even harder. He could imagine Arthur's horror when Vivian's father who Merlin had only seen once had come running for his daughter and only afterwards it had turned out to be a bit of mud on a dress. Serious business, that had been.
"Does your mother need help by the way?" Arthur asked when Merlin had calmed down and settled on leaning on Arthur again. "Nah, we would only be on her way, she has a system." Merlin said lightly and suddenly Arthur knew why Merlin worked as he did in football.
"System you say… So that would leave us some time until two o'clock when Gwaine comes. What do you normally do while waiting for… who ever visited you back then?" Arthur asked and Merlin seemed to think. "Usually I would have read a book until we would pack everything and go to Will's. Now that you mention it, this is a bit confusing. At the same time some of it is the same, but it's not really… I don't know… what do you want to do?"
"I could just stay here with you." Arthur said and reached for Merlin. "Yeah, but what do you want to do?" Merlin asked even when Arthur pulled him down to lie on the couch on top of him. "Just here, with you..." Arthur whispered to Merlin's ear and wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist while Merlin smiled to Arthur's neck.
They were still laying on the couch, Merlin on top, Arthur's hand inside of Merlin's shirt and Merlin kissing Arthur's neck when the doorbell rang. They both looked up immediately to see the clock and they both felt irritated when they noticed that it was only half past one.
"Can't Gwaine be the type to be late like he's supposed to be?" Arthur grumbled and Merlin laughed at him. Soon they heard Hunith call from downstairs to come down. Merlin tucked his shirt back to his trousers and Arthur speed changed his running clothes to jeans and a clean t-shirt before going out of their room. They didn't say anything, but they both hoped they would continue this later.
To Merlin's surprise it wasn't only Gwaine but also Percy in the doorway. Merlin rolled his eyes at them "It's no wonder people mistake you for a couple. Percy, I'm so sorry whatever you have had to go through because of Gwaine." Hunith looked confused and Arthur immediately knew that she had thought that Percy and Gwaine were a couple. That was a bit weird feeling for him because he had never even thought that would be the case. Gwaine laughed and Percy sighed. It didn't need a genius to tell that this was not the first time that this had happened and that only made Arthur even more confused.
"Not my fault this time. Percy here wanted to see you." Gwaine said laughing and Merlin grinned at him. Gwaine had three gift bags with him and he handed them to each of them still grinning like a lunatic. To Merlin Gwaine winked and Merlin knew to be cautious when he opened his bag. When he looked inside, it took awhile to get what he was actually seeing, but when he did, he almost dropped the bag and he closed it as soon as humanly possible. There might have been something else too, but Merlin could only see an image of a can of beer tied with an enormous red bow, condoms and lube inside the bag. Gwaine grinned at him with his full face and Merlin would have kicked him if that wouldn't have drawn attention to him and to the contents of the bag.
Arthur had gotten one of Gwaine's old books from his academy days and a gift card to go and try a shooting range. He was currently talking it out with Percy who had promised to take Arthur and even if Hunith looked a bit sceptic of the thought of actual firearms, Merlin could tell she was warming to the idea when Percy told about how the shooting range really was and Arthur was just hyped.
Hunith had gotten some quality chocolate and a hand knitted scarf Gwaine told a grandma, who sold him vegetables in the marketplace he shopped for his store, had knitted it. Merlin managed to dodge the question of what he had gotten by offering to take Arthur's gift upstairs and walking out of the room as calmly as he could. He didn't return downstairs before he had hidden his gift bag as deep into their closet as he could.
He wanted to tell himself that he would destroy everything in it, but when he was standing alone in their closet, Merlin could admit that he was a bit excited. It would be horribly embarrassing if Arthur or anybody else found this kind of items from him, but he could fantasise right? That someday he and Arthur could use things like this. And at least if that ever happened, now he wouldn't need to go and buy them himself.
Merlin returned downstairs just to hear his mother ask "So are you also spending your Christmas with your family, Percy?" while offering him a piece of her fruit cake. "No, ma'am, I'll be staying with Gwaine's family. My parent died when I was young." Hunith was sorry to hear this and she told him how she could understand very well, but Percy didn't seem to mind. Of course it was hard to read his expressions at a time like this so Merlin relied more to Gwaine's expression which told him that it had been a long time already but that Percy still liked to have a place to spend his holidays. Merlin understood this. Losing a parent was kind of a theme in this family and the thought wasn't foreign to any of them.
Too soon Gwaine and Percy left and Merlin wished they could all be a big family, that they could have big parties, noise, lots of gifts and traditions, but when Gwaine's last words before he closed the door behind him were 'see you on New Year's!' Merlin realised that his birthday party could be just that. It suddenly didn't feel such a bad idea to have close to everyone he knew invading their home.
It didn't take long for Gaius to arrive and the four of them had so much fun that Merlin felt like nothing bad had never happened. The three of them beat Arthur so badly in a game of scrabble that Arthur challenged them to a football match right then making them all laugh. In the end Gaius won, but not by much. Merlin told him he would catch up with him soon enough which Gaius brushed of with that Merlin had just had luck with his letters and that he had just been nice accepting 'ZAP' as a word. They ate well and over it and the night culminated in the eggnog Hunith had made. She even let Arthur and Merlin have half a mug.
After that they decided to open some presents. Gaius gave Merlin a wooden edition of scrabble which Merlin instantly loved (the one he owned was so very, very old and worn) For Arthur he gave a pass for two to come and try horse riding and Arthur beamed to the old man. He had been wanting to try since Merlin had told him of Gaius' hobby. Gaius and Merlin had gotten Hunith a pass to all of the city museums and art galleries that was valid for the whole next year and a promise that they all (Arthur had been made to participate) would go together wherever Hunith wanted them to take. Arthur had bought her the prettiest silver necklace with a lace like design Merlin had ever seen. Hunith was almost moved to tears.
For Arthur Merlin had bought new running shoes. His old ones had seen better days and Merlin had listened more than once how they didn't really fit anymore. It had been of course next to impossible to buy shoes for someone else, but Merlin had asked Lance to help and the store he had bought the shoes from, accepter returns in exchange of similar product, so basically Arthur could try the shoes and if he needed a different size, they could go and change.
Arthur instantly loved his new shoes and it just happened that they were the right size. Merlin muttered something about thanking Lance too, but Arthur didn't care and just gave Merlin a kiss on his cheek making him blush and Hunith and Gaius smile. It was the first time they had seen Arthur kiss Merlin.
Hunith had gotten them some gift cards to go to movies and to a nice cafe and hand knitted sweaters. (Those were not so secret because she couldn't have possibly made them without Merlin and Arthur seeing her at it, but it didn't make the gift any less appreciated) Arthur's was red and Merlin's was green. Merlin loved it. His mother had made him one every year when they had still lived in the small village and those had kept Merlin warm through the winters. Now he felt the same warm but inside. He hugged his mother who seemed pleased of his reaction.
Finally it was time for Arthur to give his present to Merlin. It was just an envelope and Merlin looked at it curiously. He didn't recognise the logo printed on it. "You'll have to open it to know what's inside." Arthur sounded a bit awkward and Merlin opened the envelope feeling his mother's and Gaius' eyes on him. It was a gift card to have a tattoo made and Merlin looked at Arthur like he didn't get it.
"It's for your shoulder… She told me she could tattoo over a scar…" When Merlin understood this he broke into a smile. He hated that scar and Arthur had noticed it. He had found a way for Merlin to get rid of it. Merlin looked at the gift card and he really felt it, he could get rid of what he had thought would mark him for life.
"Thank you…" He said trying to get all of his feelings to his thanks while trying not to cry. Arthur beamed at him now looking very much pleased with himself. "You will need your mother's permission until you are 18…The permission form is inside the envelope."
Merlin turned to look at his mother automatically, but she was just smiling. "It's alright. Just choose carefully what kind of tattoo you'd like. It will stay with you the rest of your life." Merlin beamed at her and hugged both Arthur and his mother. Gaius had to laugh at this. Just smiling didn't feel enough for him. He was that happy.
It was late when Gaius told them it was time for him to leave. Arthur offered to drive him home, but Gaius told them it was better for him to walk a bit compared to letting a teenager who had had some eggnog to drive him. Arthur pointed out that it had been at least three hours since that but Gaius was firm on his decision. "Walking is good for my hips, you will understand when you are at my age."
Soon after that he left and Hunith asked if he would like to come and eat dinner with them tomorrow (there was plenty of food left) and Gaius told them he would. Merlin was happier than he remembered ever being. This was how Christmas was supposed to be like and when Arthur pulled him to his side by placing his hand around Merlin's shoulder, Merlin felt it even stronger. Gaius waved at them and then the door closed. Hunith smiled them and told them to go to sleep and Merry Christmas. She hugged them both and told them how fortunate she was to have them both.
Merlin felt a bit wistful when he closed the door of their room. Like he was leaving the perfect Christmas behind the door. It had truly been everything he had missed for last years and more. Merlin could remember so clearly what he had felt and how he had been this exact same day a year ago and the contrast was just enormous. Just thinking how back then he hadn't even known Gaius or Gwaine and how Arthur had still been his unrequited love for whom he had not even dared to buy a gift…
Arthur had walked next to their couch and was currently taking his sweater off, it was warmer in the second floor compared to their living room. In many other days Merlin would have just watched how the hem of Arthur's t-shirt rose with the sweater briefly and when Arthur would turn to look at him, Merlin would have already been looking elsewhere, but not today. Today Merlin went and hugged Arthur from behind, his arms around his waist, partly inside his shirt.
Arthur dropped the sweater to the couch and hummed in approval when Merlin buried his nose to his neck. "I love you" Merlin had to tell and Arthur replied easily "I love you too." Merlin could hear him smile even his eyes closed and he smiled against Arthur's neck. He let his hands wander a bit towards Arthur's chest and he knew he wanted more.
"I want you…" was a simple sentence, but confessing that meant so much for Merlin. He laid himself to a very vulnerable state where he let his mind very open for Arthur to mold. Where a word could make him sure that this was the right way to go or make him believe in hiding it all forever was essential, like he had been taught to do with the cruelest of methods. Saying those words felt scary and liberating at the same time and for a moment there Merlin could just trust Arthur.
Arthur had been relaxed before, but still, Merlin could feel how something in Arthur gave. He breathed, almost panted out his reply "I want you too." and Merlin could just hug him stronger. This was so important to him that he wasn't sure if he could ever express it, but he kissed Arthur's neck firmly and mouthed a small 'thank you' in Arthur's hair. Uther may have made him believe in some things and maybe the world even was so, but with Arthur, in their room, Merlin had found one more thing he could be without needing to be scared. He could be what he was, with Arthur, even in this.
When Arthur turned his neck, Merlin did the only sensible thing and kissed him. With need, with passion and with gratitude. Today, right now, Merlin would give into those things he had feared were wrong and he would not let his insecurities stop him. He would look at Arthur and he would trust in his reactions.
Arthur turned around slowly and wrapped Merlin into a loose hug. It was easier that way and Arthur took everything he could from their kisses. He kissed first Merlin's upper and then lower lip. He licked them softly and then sucked lightly. His tongue asked a permission to enter and Merlin let it happen. The way Arthur's tongue moved against his felt incredible, even if in the end Arthur couldn't have possibly thrusted his tongue further into Merlin's mouth, Merlin still felt he wanted to feel it more until Arthur sucked lightly on Merlin's tongue. Merlin moaned and licked Arthur's tongue losing all sense of awkwardness. It must not have been perfect, but every feel of inside of Arthur's mouth, the taste and the way they were breathing the same air was firmly stored in Merlin's memory and he wished he could recall everything as long as he lived.
His hands must have gone slack at some point for he had no memory of moving them, but when Arthur gave the most satisfied moan, Merlin realised that his hands had slipped past Arthur's waistline and were currently resting where his belt was. Merlin had wanted to feel it for so long, so he let his hands drop even further and eventually, he felt Arthur's bottom under his hands. It was perfect like Merlin had known it would be, even through jeans, but Merlin wanted to feel it more so he hooked his index fingers gently under Arthur's belt and pulled him forward.
Arthur followed Merlin's lead and he pressed himself fully against Merlin. Merlin could now feel Arthur's arousal even through his jeans. It was glorious, how it felt against Merlin who just then realised he himself also had a hard on. Of course he had, but he really hadn't spared a thought to it until now.
"Could we… try this without jeans?" Arthur's question surprised Merlin, but as soon as he got over that, he felt that he definitely wanted to try that. Especially now that Arthur had asked. That meant he wanted it too and now Merlin didn't need to voice that desire. Still, he swallowed hard. His throat felt dry and even if he wanted to say 'yes' he could only nod against Arthur's shoulder. It was stupid how hard saying things out loud could feel.
Arthur breathed out in relief and he hanged himself to Merlin's neck. Had Arthur felt it difficult to ask that from Merlin? That felt a bit… Merlin didn't want Arthur to stress on anything that had to do with him. He could ask all he wanted and Merlin would never hold it against him, surely Arthur knew that? He kissed Arthur's neck softly in attempt of telling that to him and then, very slowly, he let his hands wander to Arthur's belt buckle.
It was weird, but Merlin felt in control and it didn't feel anymore like it had felt just days ago. That he was in control didn't seem to mean that Arthur wasn't and that made the whole difference. The part of Merlin's mind that had learned to see the world as Uther had made it for him, told Merlin that it was not possible that they both were in charge at the same time, but he wanted to believe on what he felt right now strongly enough to kill that line of thought. As with many things, Merlin hoped Arthur would show him which part of his mind was right.
Arthur was too close to him for Merlin to open his belt, so he slowly tucked Arthur by his belt loops a bit further. Arthur took a small step back reluctantly, keeping his head against Merlin's shoulder, but when Merlin managed to open his belt clumsily (or so Merlin felt) he sighed contently and when Merlin started to open his zipper, he visibly shivered and his breath became hot against Merlin's neck. It was a bit funny, how strongly Arthur reacted now. He had spend a lot of time just in his boxers last couple of days and he had never had any insecurities (in Merlin's point of view) about his almost nude body. He wasn't like Merlin who avoided even short sleeved shirts when possible. Could he really be this affected because of Merlin? Because he was so close? Or because he was the one opening Arthur's jeans? That felt like a dream even if Merlin had hard time believing in what he clearly saw and heard.
Very slowly Merlin tugged Arthur's jeans a bit more open and trailed the rim of Arthur's boxers. He had a black pair today and that would have done things for Merlin even if Arthur hadn't chosen that moment to moan to Merlin's chest. At that moment Merlin felt lust cloud his thoughts and he gave up the control he had felt, suddenly he didn't need it anymore. He just wanted to get lost in Arthur the same way Arthur seemed to be lost in him. There was no need to think every move anymore, there was no need to think and analyze his every feeling, for right now he just really, truly wanted and needed Arthur.
Merlin slid his hands to inside Arthur's jeans to feel his bottom more clearly and it really was everything Merlin had thought it would be. It was firm and round and when Merlin squeezed it lightly, Arthur moaned out Merlin's name and started to kiss his neck before sliding his hands under Merlin's sweater and shirt. The cares on Merlin's back felt warm and Arthur's strong arms were just perfect. Merlin wanted to somehow make him know that he wanted him to hug him closer, with more strength, but he couldn't even think of words much less say them out loud, so he just pressed Arthur closer to his body and groaned to Arthur's hair.
He sneaked his hand under Arthur's shirt and tugged it. He knew that by doing that he would need to let go of Arthur for a while so he could pull his shirt off, but he still felt the loss of contact when Arthur pulled back to do just that. When he was shirtless, Arthur reached for Merlin's sweater and Merlin let him take it off. He still kept his button up shirt for it wouldn't have come off anyway, but also because he really wanted to feel Arthur open the buttons again, like he did as soon as Merlin hugged him close again. Arthur left his arms in between them and caressed the exposed skin at the same space he opened the buttons.
The couch was right there, but Merlin wanted to move this to the bed, so he started to back towards it slowly and again looping his fingers to Arthur's jeans belt loops and pulled him to follow him. Getting to lie down on the said furniture was a bit awkward, but they managed after Arthur had gotten rid of his jeans. He seemed happy when he leaned on Merlin and kissed him slowly, like savoring every moment. It all felt so perfect and when Arthur started to open Merlin's buttons, he understood what Arthur had meant by telling he had wanted to get naked for Merlin.
Arthur kept looking at every bit of exposed skin with care and passion. Everything was clearly visible in his eyes and his expression showed it all. Merlin couldn't do that, he would have felt too vulnerable, but he loved how Arthur did that, how he kept telling patiently how much he liked and what. With words and actions. Merlin could just wish he would be able to be as honest someday. Because that was what it was, honesty. Merlin regretted how dishonest he had been with Arthur for most of the time they had known each others, but still, he could just hug Arthur and nuzzle to his neck when he told how happy he was to see Merlin like this, how good he felt and how Merlin had nothing to be ashamed of, how he loved him.
Only when Arthur reached for Merlin's belt and looked at his eyes silently asking if this was alright, Merlin managed to speak. "Please…" he just said and Arthur blushed and smiled before kissing him and opening Merlin's belt with care and more grace (in Merlin's opinion) than Merlin would have ever managed. Merlin had again wanted to say 'yes'. Not 'please'. That sounded in his own ears needy and embarrassing, but when Arthur didn't comment on it, Merlin hoped to just forget the whole thing, how awkward could he get…
Arthur looked at Merlin with awe when he had opened the zipper of Merlin's jeans. "You have no idea how good you look right now…" he said and blushed and then grinned at him with that stupid grin Merlin found so very endearing. Merlin smiled back at him and Arthur looked at him fondly before hugging him close, covering him with his body and turning them both to their sides. Merlin hadn't had anything against their previous position, but being on his side felt even better. It was new and it was exciting and it was equal and that was very nice. The balance Merlin had about being in control or not needing the feel of control was very delicate. It was a very thin surface and it reminded Merlin of the water skippers he had observed from a pier in the lake nearby their old home. Just like he had wondered if they could suddenly drown, Merlin knew he could very easily lose his feeling of security in seconds.
Getting his jeans off wasn't easy while lying down. The amount of wiggling that was needed couldn't have been attractive on any level, but Arthur still seemed to enjoy himself. The way he followed Merlin's movements and the way he smiled softly all the time and breathed evenly, but somehow with concentration made Merlin feel reassured, but still… thoughts started to nag in the corners of his mind and even if Arthur looked like Merlin had felt a while ago, like he was too far gone to think really, Merlin couldn't get into that state of mind anymore.
The way Arthur's gaze ran up and down of his form was flattering and gave very much peace to those thoughts that had asked if Arthur could really be into men, but at the same time Merlin found himself get distracted on thinking of how this was really the first time Arthur had seen him wearing this little since Uther's house and if he didn't count on those two times Arthur had seen him showering, even that had been years. Somehow, that felt quite unnecessary now. Merlin had gotten used on swimming with just his trunks on weekly basis in front of Gwen, total strangers and even Lance, but he still showered while Arthur was downstairs. Why? He didn't know anymore, maybe it was a habit? From his or Arthur's side, he wasn't sure.
Merlin followed Arthur's movements absentmindedly until Arthur's gaze lingered on Merlin's tight. Arthur followed the scar on Merlin's tight slowly with his thumb and Merlin frowned. He hated that scar and he absolutely didn't want Arthur to see it, but he could do nothing while Arthur seemed to grow sad. Merlin didn't want him to feel sad about some stupidity he had done in his darkest moments, so Merlin cupped Arthur's face and guided him to look him in the eyes. Like that, he could clearly see Arthur's sadness and regret and for a second he let himself mirror that before he closed his eyes and kissed Arthur first with a hint of desperation and then with passion.
Arthur followed his lead and started to pull Merlin's shirt off gently. It was the last piece of clothing safe their briefs and Merlin did want it off, but the very familiar need to cover his shoulder made itself present so he rolled to lie on his back again. He would have preferred being on his side, but he promised to himself that once his scar would be covered, he would get used on showing his back to Arthur, he really would.
When the shirt was gone, Arthur covered Merlin with his body. It felt just so many things at the same time. Arthur was warm and gentle. He wasn't forceful and he didn't push Merlin to any direction. That all Merlin had known already, but he still noticed it every time. But what was new, was Arthur fully against him and while Merlin had known it would feel different and he had wanted it, he had not imagined how good it would really be.
The bare skin against bare skin felt incredible. It wasn't just the sexual way that made Merlin focus on Arthur entirely. It wasn't just the way Arthur's arousal was almost rubbing against his, or how Merlin could feel Arthur's nipples against his chest or how Arthur's lips traced his collarbone, but how Arthur's toes tried to tangle with his and how Arthur's knee bumped into his tight and how he felt the body hair Arthur had in his legs and up till his navel against his, if not hairless then maybe little bit smoother skin. It was all bliss. Merlin wondered briefly if Arthur would ever grow a beard and how that would feel, but it was forgotten when Arthur hugged him and wrapped his legs gently around Merlin's leg. Like this, under Arthur's wider shoulders and covered by him, Merlin felt smaller, but safe. Even if he was still taller than Arthur.
Merlin could have stopped then, he was content and he felt good, but Arthur chose that moment to look at him and run fingers through his hair. "You feel so good..." Arthur murmured his eyes telling Merlin how precious he was. There was a wave of love in Merlin's heart and he wanted to do something for Arthur.
"I- how would you feel if I… touched you?" was out of his mouth before he could really think. Arthur's mouth fell slightly open and Merlin could see how his eyes got darker as his pupils dilated. He had only seen this look once before, but now he could truly say he loved to see Arthur get affected like this. He… could do it couldn't he? If Arthur wanted his touch like this, it wouldn't be bad to want to do it either, right? And even if he couldn't touch himself, he could touch Arthur, maybe…?
Merlin licked his lips a bit nervously and smiled a bit shaky smile while Arthur seemed to watch him very much focused. It could have been a bit irritating, but right now Merlin was so near of the edge of his very small comfort zone, that he was very thankful of that. Arthur would notice if it was too much for him and he would surely stop him from continuing if that happened, wouldn't he?
With one deep breath Merlin decided that he would trust on Arthur and before he could over think it, he started to move his hand towards Arthur's crotch. His hand was shaking slightly, but when his hand hovered just next to the not at all subtle bulge, Merlin had to admit that it was mostly because of the excitement of actually doing this, he would get to touch Arthur in the most intimate way and he could make Arthur feel good. And when he looked Arthur in the eye, Merlin felt his own balance. He himself felt good, not just mentally, but his body had definitely taken interest too. He could do this, he really could. He hadn't been damaged beyond repair after all.
"You don't have to if- oh!" Arthur started very gently, but Merlin wasn't going to listen to that now, so he cut Arthur off by running his fingers across Arthur's whole length. It felt so hard and it twitched on Merlin's touch very tellingly and Merlin had to smile a little. It was like he had never touched anyone else's prick, in a way he hadn't, he decided firmly. Not like this, with his own space and time, with honesty. A thought of what Uther had felt when he had been touched threatened to form in Merlin's brain, but he pushed that away and focused on present. There would sure be a nightmare or a meltdown in closet corner in the future over the theme, but not now, just not now.
Arthur started to caress Merlin's face and he snapped his eyes to Arthur's. He was looking at Merlin with concern. No, that wouldn't do. Merlin was not ready to stop, he wasn't ready to try and make himself ok with a thought he really didn't want to even form and he so wasn't ready to go to sleep either. His heart was racing and when he nuzzled his cheek against Arthur's hand, he felt he needed more of Arthur, just Arthur, so he pulled Arthur to a one armed hug before guiding him to a position that was easier for him to do what he hoped would make Arthur forget the worry they both shared, but very differently.
Wrapping his fingers around Arthur's clothed erection wasn't something Merlin had ever done and it was a bit harder than he had thought, but it felt right, easier and the way Arthur moaned against his chest couldn't be mistaken. It encouraged Merlin and soon he found what he could do to make Arthur look at him with wonder and pant his name and wrap his legs around Merlin's. That Arthur was squeezing himself so tightly against and around Merlin didn't exactly help with the whole touching-thing, but it was just what Merlin had wanted.
Arthur tried to slowly move his hand in between them too, but Merlin gently changed his position so he was also wrapping his legs around Arthur's leg that was in between his legs already and Arthur got the hint. Not today, yet. Besides… the friction that Arthur's leg gave him, the closeness, the way Arthur sounded and looked was very much enough to get Merlin closer of orgasm than he had been maybe ever. It was not just the physical touch, but everything. He felt high and aroused in every sense of the word and when he kissed Arthur, he knew he was close too. This and wanking didn't even compare.
"Merlin… Merlin… it feels incredible..." Arthur whispered to Merlin's neck when he had broken their kiss to get more air to his lungs. It was easy to believe Arthur now and Merlin hugged Arthur even tighter and nodded to his neck. He wanted to be honest too, so he closed his eyes and said slowly with an uncharacteristically deep voice "Me too… I feel it too, I- I'm close." He breathed the last part out feeling almost scared of what he had said and he almost had time to take real fright when Arthur tensed at his words, until just a second later Merlin felt Arthur's boxers getting damp. Arthur had climaxed and that was maybe the hottest thing Merlin had ever experienced.
Arthur went slack in his arms and Merlin breathed shallow breaths as his whole body felt like it had been filled with electricity. His heart was beating so hard it almost hurt and Merlin wanted to say something, anything to tell Arthur how unbelievably beautiful he looked right then, how much Merlin loved him and if he cried a little, it was just because he couldn't squeeze Arthur close enough to calm his racing heart, but then the smell hit him.
It shouldn't have been a surprise that semen smelled about exactly the same was it from Uther or Arthur or himself, but honestly it smelled horrid. The smell pulled Merlin out from his comfort zone and shattered whatever balance he had had previously. It pulled Merlin to his memories and even if he knew where he was, what had happened and how much he wanted to stay like he was, partly under Arthur, he felt ghosts from the past overlapping with the present.
He felt a pressure on his throat, he felt like someone was choking him. He tasted Uther in his mouth and he gagged involuntarily causing Arthur to snap his head to look at him with extreme worry. Merlin tried to shake his head and he closed his eyes and he pulled Arthur nearer and buried his nose into Arthur's hair in attempt of not smelling anymore, but it was too late. He felt his strength leave his limbs and he started to shiver. He even felt cold edges against his wrists and when Arthur tried to ask what was wrong or if he could do something, Merlin could just whimper.
"Merlin!" Arthur started to sound desperate and he tried to move, but Merlin was still hanging onto him and probably clinging onto him too hard, but his muscles were too tense to try and let go. But Merlin had to explain somehow and for that he had to breath in. It was a wrong move, breathing in meant more of that smell and Merlin felt his nausea rise its head.
"It's the smell" he managed to blurt out with hoarse voice, but that was enough for Arthur who immediately untangled himself from Merlin's death grip with one effective move and stepped out of the bed. In Merlin's disoriented mind he momentarily felt hurt and he didn't understand why Arthur was doing this to him, he felt cold and the loss of the contact felt unnecessary cruel, but as soon as Arthur opened their window and the cool winter hit his nostrils, Merlin felt his thoughts focus and he felt stupid. Yeah, way to go, gling to the source of the smell and refuse to let go.
"I'll take a shower..." Arthur said quietly when he was convinced enough that Merlin was going to be alright for a while, but Merlin could hear from his tone that he would not let Merlin alone with this and right then, Merlin could just feel very, very grateful about that.
Once Arthur had closed their bathroom door, Merlin curled into a ball. The overlapping had started to dim and Merlin was relieved when his nausea started to settle, he really didn't want to end his Christmas eve by vomiting.
It took a while of thinking about nothing, a sweet blankness that Merlin knew would end soon enough and yes, just when a thin layer of cold sweat on his skin started to cool, anger started to creep from the edges of Merlin's consciousness. For the first time he was truly angry at Uther from his own behalf.
'I'll teach you not to whore yourself around' Merlin could hear the words loud and clear and he yelled inside of his head 'Fuck him!'. He was so mad and while he fisted the blanket underneath him, Merlin truly hoped that horrible things were happening to Uther in prison. That someone there would teach him what it meant to be raped. He wanted Uther out of his head, he wanted those memories out and he wanted Uther to suffer for them, but after he had sobbed few times and his fingers started to cramp from the force he used to grip his blanket, the anger started to drain and when it left Merlin and transformed to be just a hum in some corner of his mind, he just felt empty. So empty.
He had a lot of darkness inside of him that originated from Uther and he hadn't even thought how much comfort it had bought to him to blame it on him, but this anger and a honest wish of revenge had been his own and that felt awful. This was just not right.
The window was still open and Merlin knew he should have felt cold, but he felt uncomfortably hot. He heard the running water stop and he sobben for the last time. He needed a shower too and some time alone, so when Arthur exited the bathroom looking anxious and worried and tired, Merlin passed him as quickly as possible. Arthur smelled very strongly of their soap and just when Merlin closed the door behind him, he felt an amused smile brake his features. 'Oh Arthur...' he thought and shook his head. He was so grateful of him.
The hot water did wonders. It made Merlin feel cleaner like it had never done last years. The knowledge that he had just broken one of his habits, Arthur was in their room after all, made him feel a bit better and he could even find himself thinking back on his Christmas. It had been a perfect day. Everyone had been so perfect and how he had made Arthur come… that was precious. He just wished he could not be this pathetic. That he could for once let everyone feel that he was worth of all this.
He turned the water off just when he was sure that Arthur would come to check if he had drowned any second. He dried himself with care and as slowly as he could and even then he had already hung his towel to dry when it hit him. He hadn't taken his pyjama with him. That was one thing he hadn't worried so much lately. He knew Arthur wouldn't come to their room when he showered, so he could just wrap himself in his towel and change in their closet.
Merlin wrapped himself to his towel again and very carefully opened the door and peaked in their room. Arthur was lying on their bed, face down looking exhausted and wearing his pyjama pants. Merlin felt a small bang in his heart, Arthur had gone back on wearing his pyjama pants surely because of what had happened. He also didn't like to see Arthur looking like this, but maybe he could sneak to their closet without Arthur noticing? But as soon as Merlin took one step out of the bathroom, Arthur turned his face and looked straight at Merlin.
Merlin yelped and quickly retired to the bathroom and closed the door so only his nose was left outside. He was blushing furiously even if he was more covered now than previously. "Umm… could you give me my pyjama?" He asked timidly after he found his voice again.
Arthur nodded and dragged himself up with a bit sad sounding "sure". Merlin wanted to get into his pyjama and out of the bathroom to give Arthur a hug. He needed the comfort, but he wanted to give Arthur comfort more and the seconds Arthur took in their closet seemed to drag.
When Merlin had snatched the pyjama Arthur offered him (the purple one) and managed to get it on, he almost flew out of the bathroom. Arthur was now sitting on the edge of their bed, waiting for him and Merlin wasted no time to drop to sit next to him and hug him warmly. Arthur rested his chin on Merlin's shoulder and now, if something, Merlin needed to be completely honest.
They spend the time Merlin needed to tell Arthur how much he had enjoyed himself, how much he loved Arthur and how any of well, anything really wasn't Arthur's fault. How Merlin hadn't wanted this night to end this way and how sorry he was that Arthur always had to put up with him and Arthur listened. He listened until Merlin stopped talking and as always, he told Merlin he had nothing to apologise, that he understood now better and that they would just have to try again some other day when Merlin would feel like it.
That Arthur said they would try again was what made Merlin feel relieved and happy. Arthur had really understood what Merlin had meant better than Merlin himself when he had told Arthur not to treat him like a charity case. That Arthur trusted he had not been traumatised, made Merlin believe in himself too.
Arthur had wrapped a blanket around Merlin's shoulders when he had started to feel cold, but the open window was still getting a bit much and after Merlin had managed to joke about Arthur trying to freeze him, they started to find their rhythm. It seemed that this evening was still salvageable.
Soon Merlin wanted nothing more that to take Arthur in his arms and bury him under the same blanket with him. Preferably the thick one Arthur called too hot and Merlin loved. Unlike in countless similar occasions, this time Merlin did what he wanted and even if Arthur half heartedly protested when Merlin pulled his blanket on top of him too, he seemed pleasantly surprised and Merlin chuckled at him lightly.
Arthur rested heavily on Merlin's chest and after what seemed like a small pause for weighting opinions, Arthur lifted his leg in between Merlin's and wrapped his legs around Merlin's right leg. It felt just very nice. Arthur was warm and firm and smelled like soap and Merlin loved him so much.
"I am so glad I have my own blanket nowadays… " Arthur mumbled, but made no other movement, but snuggled a bit closer to Merlin who smiled at him fondly. "It's not my fault I like to stay warm. You on the other hand are just weird. How can anyone survive in this temperature with no blanket or even full pyjama?" He asked feeling content and amused and more sleepy as the warmth that Arthur radiated started to reach even his fingers and toes.
"You are the weird one" Arthur mumbled affectionately and for once Merlin didn't mind someone other than Will calling him weird. Arthur said it with the same tone he usually told he liked something or other about Merlin.
Arthur shifted a bit and Merlin started to see some sweat forming to his brow so he lifted the blanket so it didn't cover all of Arthur who sighed contently. He had his eyes closed and Merlin took his time to examine everything on Arthur's face. He trailed the shape of Arthur's lips with his gaze and slowly stroked Arthur's temples with his fingers. Arthur smiled at him, his eyes still closed. Would he fall asleep soon? Merlin wondered until his thoughts turned to his again stiffening state. Arthur opened his eyes lazily and Merlin blushed like a tomato. There was no way Arthur hadn't felt that, his leg was on top of it!
"Uh, I- um..." Merlin felt a need to explain, but what was there to say? Arthur just chuckled at him with good humour and kissed his nose lovingly. "Don't worry about it, I'm like that every other night but tonight. Always when I'm close to you." Arthur said while he lied back down on Merlin's chest.
It took a moment for Merlin to understand what he had just heard, but when he did, he felt hopeful. "Really?" he asked eager to know for sure and when Arthur nodded against his chest, Merlin almost laughed out loud. That was… truly something he had wanted more reassurance that one female nurse, however good one, could give him.
Arthur really was perfect for him and with this ending for his favourite day of the year he could really live. He closed his eyes and enjoyed this calm and content feeling that swirled inside of him only to be mixed with that sweet feeling of slowly falling towards sleep.
He was just getting to that blissful state where dreams would soon start to mix with reality when Arthur's voice dragged him back to being more awake than asleep. "Merlin?" He asked and Merlin made a 'hmmph?' sound just to tell him he was listening.
"Who's gonna shut the lights?"
A/N Can anyone tell that I love Christmas? I mean I was being 'so subtle'... :P I wish it was Christmas already... My exam week is ending, but I still have two deadlines to meet and wow has this period blown to my face. I'm quite sure I have used at least half of the time I should have been studying to work and about one third to write this story, so it shouldn't be a surprice that I haven't gotten anything done in time... But after next week, I have new period starting and I can again push some work forward to finish this story :P Hopefully I'll get this ready before half of the period is gone so I can feel relaxed because I have finished what I started and then I can write my next story in my own pace and again publish when I'm almost done with it. I would like to say I learned something from this story and I woud write the next one ready before publishing, but I have bettered this story so much because of your feedback, that I really don't want to do that.
By the way, this tattoo over a scar -thing is very real. There is even at least one project called A Pele da Flor. It's a project of a tattoo artist called Flavia Carvalho, who does tattoos free of charge to victims of domestic violence. She turns hideous scars that remind victims of their abuse and she turns them to beautiful images. I think she is a hero and I love how she can help so many with her chosen profession. It feels to me, that one can actually help to build a better world by doing what they do well. Donating money for a cause or going ot politics or joining red cross are not the only ways if we keep our minds open and think if we can do something to those who are close to us.
And again, huge thank you for those who reviewed, I really need feedback from now on, because I'm letting all my 'I so want this to happen' thoughts I had while I wrote the Uther-part of the story and I fear I might get a bit carried away...
mersan123 Hi! Yep, welcome to the real world indeed! With no Uther, the world is quite a lot wider and more complicated place and even if its better in many aspects, for Arthur it is still a bit scary and frustrating even if he doesn't want to say it out loud (who would say 'I was more comfortable when I knew what I was supposed to do under the dicipline of my abusive father'?) And Merlin does have a sweet hear, doesn't he? I thought it while I watched the show too, he lost many friends and even a woman he loved and he never even explained it to Arthur and he still kept his heart loyal... Oh, great you enjoyed the party scene because it was a total impulse on my part. I have had 95% of the scenes in this story planned out for a long time before I very logically made decisions if they should be in the story or not. That scene... I wrote it straight to the story and just left it there. I was a bit nervous about it to be honest. Thatnk you again for your comment, it's so lovely how you leave them every time :)
Greedy Reader Hi! Everything, right now, is exams and school work and work... blah. I should have finnished this story during summer when I still only had to work... Next year I'm going to be smarter! Ah, I kind of quessed you also compared Merlin to a bird because of his name, I actually thought of it too when I made the 'personal hawk' -thing. I used hawk because I think it's an idiom and I tried falcon, but it sounded more like a somenone who gets you your stuff or something like that, so I went with the hawk... I remember when I first saw a seagul leave its nice 'present' and I have been cautious for those for years, but I have never seen any other bird so that. Exept on cars. Park a black car under a tree and that's it for the clean car... Alright, that was an interesting topic :D Hope you are doing well too, see you soon!
Angel Dove1 Oh thank you so much! :) I do like to use those small references to the original show, so it's great when someone notices them and likes them. Their relationship is truly changing now, they are finding their balance and their hold on life outside of their relationship too. It's not very ideal situation where their only good moments of day are getting to sleep... Yeah, Merlin is getting more 'careless' which is good, he's not so afraid all the time so his guard is slipping. Especially at home. And Arthur's friends are dence :P Not that it would have been my first thought of that my football captain was gay with someone everyone knew he was close with, but also half-brother with. Sharing a room when still living home so didn't mean dating back then... And even if I happened to suspect something like that, I so wouldn't have said anything. Teenage insecurities aside, I think it would cause some serious conflcts if I quessed wrong. Some could really get discusted and angry with me... and for a reason. I have this very close friend and I have been asked if I have a thing going on with them and umm... I'm in a relationship and I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed of the thought of being with my friend like that or offended that at least some of those people think I would cheat on my partner... That is... I don't like it. Alright, that was a lot of unnecessary information... Moving on. Yep, Lee is one odd ball, he is, like Merlin quessed, a romantic. If he could, he would build his own house to countryside and Sonja would make apple pies from their own apples and their children would be happy and run barefeet... His family is strict on appearance and they like to show they have money and because of that, he has been invited to 'play dates' and parties because his parents are rich. Besides that he has had a lonely childhood because his parents are always working. I'm glad you liked him :) Now that I'm continuing, I have more time to develope some others in the team too.
Guest Awesome, I have sketches for all of that. Altought Seeing Uther is in my epilogue material and is brief because I got so fed up with writing about him at some point... But I'll keep your comment in mind and maybe I will write the epilogue at some point of time :) Thank you for your comment!
Kao Yep, I'd vote for the God who promised me nine days a week, thirtysix ours a day and seventeen months a year. Seriously, where am I supposed to find time for all this work and sleep and eating at the same time? Just asking... Ah, so I misunderstood...It's not easy to have a conversation like this :P I kind of have thought that Merlin has talked with Gaius too, but I wanted to write a Lance scene so... In his situation I would have talked to about everyone I trust enough. So great you liked the merthur bit, I have more in store ;) And yeah, you have been waiting long... I might have pushed some scenes a bit further when I decided to prolong this fic :P But we will get it all and more, I promise! :) Thanks for taking time from your busy schedule for me!