'So it doesn't get any better the second time' Merlin thought while he watched Arthur drive to the gate and out while Merlin stood in front of Vivian's mansion. He would have said 'house', but seriously, it was a mansion. It felt unsettling and unnecessary taking into consideration that Vivian and her father were the only ones to inhabit the space, but what did Merlin know?
Ringing the doorbell was as futile as it had been the last time Merlin had visited Vivian. The butler was already by the door, no doubt he had seen Arthur's car, and the door opened the second Merlin rang the doorbell. It was actually interesting: where was the line of absolute politeness? Was it hovering between a guest not having to wait more than a millisecond for a response to their request and the staff stepping in with what the guest needed before they were even ready to ask for it? Merlin wondered if he could have camped outside for hours and not be disturbed while the butler insisted on taking his coat.
"Miss is in the kitchen, she is waiting for you sir." The butler sounded exactly as he was supposed to. That was highly disturbing, but Merlin said nothing. He knew very well how the butler felt about his precious Miss being in the kitchen area, of all places, and of Merlin by extension. Obviously it was his fault.
For once Merlin was happy to be scorned over.
The butler showed Merlin the way and he was thankful of that. He had gotten an almost full tour from Vivian the first time he had been there, but the tour hadn't involved 'the servants area'. Besides, even if it had, the place was enormous and Merlin was sure he wouldn't find his way out without help.
The kitchen too, was huge. It seemed that it could provide a three course meal for hundreds of people. Merlin was kind of reminded of the kitchen in Lee's house, but this was obviously a lot older. There was a baking oven built in the wall with a real fire and grill underneath it, but just next to them stood maybe the most modern set of ovens and induction stoves Merlin had even seen.
The kitchen was buzzing with life. There were four maids and an obvious chef and someone he assumed was a gardener as he fit the stereotype so severely that Merlin wanted to ask if he was paid to look like that. In the middle of it all sat Vivian on a high stool, wearing an apron and an excited smile. There were flours and bowls of dough and everything else they would need arranged neatly in front of her. No doubt the staff was responsible for those.
"You are late!" Vivian said cheerfully the second she saw Merlin, to which Merlin replied "No, I'm not." even if he was a little. But it was not his fault the place was huge! Arthur had left him here on time.
Vivian just waved her hand and rolled her eyes, not losing the cheerful edge. Maybe if Merlin concentrated on just the counter in front of him and the cookies they were supposed to make for Valentine's day, he would be alright.
It had been Gwen's idea to begin with. She had talked about baking something for all her friends and asked what Merlin and Vivian would like when Vivian had surprised them both by actually getting interested in baking something. The idea of baking something together had formed from there, but such had been her luck that Gwen had to go to visit her grandparents on the weekend and with Valentine's day being on Monday, Merlin was stuck alone with Vivian. Not wanting her to come to his home and kitchen to criticize, Merlin had agreed on coming to Vivian's.
Merlin had bought chocolate, decorations in different shapes and some edible gold and silver dust. Vivian had promised to take care of the dough and by the look of it, the chef had made three different ones for them to use. In Merlin's opinion that didn't really count as baking, but he decided not to say anything. He was too afraid that Vivian would lose her good spirit and call her father and, to be frank, Merlin was terrified of him.
The last time Merlin had been here, he was sure Sir Olaf had hated him. An older man with wealth and power who was famous for his bad temper. Just thinking of it made Merlin's stomach lurch, so he hoped he could keep Vivian happy enough but never too happy. He really wished he could just finish this already.
"You know I could have gotten all this and more. You sure this will be enough?" Vivian gave a critical look to the items Merlin had bought. "Yes." he answered. Something in Vivian's attitude just made him forget all the threats he felt and answer with little empathy or politeness. He wished so much he would not need to regret that and that he could run out easily if he went in the direction he had seen the gardener leave.
Vivian shrugged and reached for the nearest bowl. "Well then, you tell me what to do next." she said with an entitled tone and looked at the dough like it should bake itself on Vivian's command.
"...You have never baked before?" Merlin had to ask and Vivian looked at him with ... hopeful eyes. That was... almost disturbing. "Well, let's put some flour on the table first". Merlin hoped he wouldn't mess this up because Vivian reached for the flour immediately. It was like… Vivian trusted him. If not in anything else then at least with this.
It was a strange ordeal after that. It seemed that every maid in the house came through the kitchen at least twice just to see Vivian baking. Vivian paid no attention to them, like they weren't visible, while she listened to every word Merlin said like it was gospel. It was unnerving at it's best, but in the end they finished without incident. Well, the first patch burned slightly on the edges and for that Vivian gave Merlin the dirtiest look a young woman with blonde curls and a doll like face could muster. The look lasted until Merlin sat in front of the oven and bought back a batch of perfectly baked cookies.
Merlin watched the rest of the cookies like a hawk while Vivian just stared at the ready ones, but it was alright. Merlin felt a bit happy, actually. Maybe it had been a good decision to come over after all. Vivian was covered in flour and there was a speck of chocolate on her chin, but she didn't even seem to notice and Merlin was sure he had never thought Vivian looked prettier than she did right now. He kind of hoped he could tell that to her, but everything he could think of while watching the cookies bake sounded either suspicious or too gay, so he left it.
Merlin suddenly felt very thankful towards his mother who had involved him in cooking and baking throughout his childhood. Even if he wasn't much of a baker really.
There was so much cookie dough that after they had cut out about three hundred (in Merlin's opinion) hearts and stars, Merlin decided to make some round ones for the football team. He would tell them they were footballs. Vivian had rolled her eyes at that idea and stated that all the footballers were idiots, but helped Merlin come up with a pattern that made the cookies look footballish (according to Vivian).
It wasn't until Vivian offered a cookie shaped like a horse (whose leg had broken off) to one of the maids, who looked like she would faint soon, that Merlin understood that Vivian was never in such a good mood.
"Who are you going to give your cookies to?" Merlin asked, feeling confident that Vivian wouldn't lash out at him. "Hmm... To father and mother and maybe Mrs. Brown." she answered, as if she didn't care one way or another. "Not to Gwen?" Merlin asked innocently, but still genuinely eager to know. "Well, obviously to Gwen, that's just good manners."
Merlin was about to comment on how 'good manners' and Vivian were not two things you would consider appearing in the same sentence when the door to the kitchen opened, making Merlin squeeze one of the stars he had been moving into baking tin. Vivian looked at the ruined cookie with displeasure while Merlin realised that it had just been one of the maids again. Could he ask where Vivian's father was and could he expect him to pop up suddenly? No, not really... he kept forgetting the impending threat of his appearance, but somehow even the smallest of changes in the atmosphere seemed to rouse his panic.
"So umm, no-one special you'd like to give one to?" Merlin asked nervously, mostly to cover up the awkward moment. He tried to clear the broken cookie up at the same time.
"Hmph, you know I can't really meet any boys when our school is full of such immature excuses for men." Vivian scoffed and Merlin had to chuckle at that, again his panic forgotten. "Yeah, you tell me. Every boy in our school, just horrible!" he said in his best sarcastic tone and Vivian made an (almost) amused snort.
"Well, at least you have made the wise decision in hanging out with me and Gwen." she said. Merlin was ready to roll his eyes but then he saw something, a small spark in Vivian's eyes.
She was kidding. She was actually being sarcastic and now Merlin was able to better understand the way Vivian acted. She actually had a very peculiar sense of humour. And Merlin had known that, in a way, so did he. He had told Arthur and Lee (and Arthur again) how Vivian was just sure of herself and what she wanted and that she was funny in her own way, but it was in this moment that Merlin realised how right he was. He actually liked Vivian.
"Yes, well, I'm known to be smart" he replied and Vivian laughed. She actually laughed.
"So what does your mother do?" he asked as he started to cut some more star shaped cookies. "Ah, she spends most of the time traveling around. All over the world, but she comes home for the holidays, even if it's just Valentine's day." she replied, while showing more concentration than Merlin had ever seen display previously to arranging some sugar hearts on the round cookies. The ones that were supposed to go to the 'idiot footballers'.
"That's... nice?" Merlin had no idea if he should be sorry or not. "No, she and father are married, but I'm sure she has a string of lovers around the world." Vivian replied matter of factly, causing Merlin to stop what he was doing and stare. That was so... casual.
"But I don't care, she brings me the best gifts every time and nothing is ever bad, not really." Vivian was still concentrating on the cookies and Merlin kept staring at her until he felt he had to say something.
"I'm sorry" he said and earned the ugliest look from Vivian. "Who asked you to be sorry? I don't need your sorry!" she snapped and Merlin resumed his quiet staring. Vivian huffed and turned back to the cookies. There was chocolate in her hair now too and she had somehow managed to get silver dust on her cheek, but she looked so mad that Merlin chose to stay quiet.
They went back to working in silence and after, maybe, the tenth baking tin full of cookies later, Merlin had had enough time to think. How long had he known Vivian again and how well did he know her?
He couldn't remember when Vivian had changed from an annoying character that he and Gwen made fun of when she was being too much to someone Merlin sat with every lunch and wanted to bake cookies with. Because this was fun when Merlin forgot about Sir Olaf. And Vivian was the one who had managed to wriggle into his life when he had been at his absolute worst. In a way, even if she was a petite blonde, Merlin thought of her as someone as steady as a rock with a fierce determination. Now that he thought more about it, even if Sir Olaf suddenly burst into the kitchen Vivian would surely stand in between him and Merlin, if needed.
So of course Vivian didn't want or need his pity.
"Can I copy your design? It's cute." Merlin broke the silence and Vivian gave her most regal look. "Yes. But you can't give it to Arthur, understood?" Merlin had to laugh a little to that. One of these days he would get to the bottom of why Vivian didn't like Arthur.
"So alright, you don't like any of the boys in our school... what kind of a boy would you be interested in?" Merlin asked, feeling brave. Vivian gave him a sideways look at that. "Not a boy, it has to be a man. Someone I couldn't eat for breakfast. Someone who is calm and kind, obviously, but will not be bullied. Someone... a bit like you, but not you, obviously. Besides, you are too young for me."
Merlin felt he had been startled so much today that surely his eyes would fall out if he kept this up. "That's... awfully insightful of you." A new feeling of admiration came over Merlin. It was clear Vivian knew why most of the people in their school would keep themselves an arm's length away from her at all times and that any man worth having would need to be able to stand their ground with her when she was her most unreasonable.
Vivian flashed him a small smile, but Merlin had to ruin it by asking "Too young for you? Aren't we the same age? Have you failed more classes than I know of?" Vivian had been close to failing math last year and it was quite a sore spot for her. Merlin got a handful of nonpareils thrown at his head for that.
"Well, my ideal man is five to seven years older than me, he has a career and doesn't want children before I'm close to thirty. He knows what he wants and does what he has to do to get it, including me. He takes care of himself and works out, I hate to see men who act like their body is there just to keep their bones from flying apart." Vivian continued, which was rare. Vivian rarely talked about what she wanted or how she felt.
"And would he have to be rich and handsome?" Merlin asked, as Vivian had not mentioned either of the qualities he had expected to hear. "No, I have money, I just don't want to provide for him. And that is something everyone in this world seems to get wrong! Handsome... most of the people are well-proportioned enough that they could pass as handsome or beautiful if they just worked for it! You think I look like this the first thing in the morning? Or that I would look like I do before I get ready if I didn't go to hair salon once a month, if I didn't take care of my hygiene and had clothes that actually fit me? No! And that is the problem with people: 'Why is my nose so big? Why aren't my boobs big enough? I'm so ugly!' Well get a new haircut, improve your posture, workout a bit and stop the complaining! I wouldn't have even noticed the stupid nose if they did!"
"... that does make some sense..." Merlin managed to mutter when he was sure that Vivian was done. "Well, of course." she answered, matter of factly, like she hadn't just opened up about something that was clearly important to her. Merlin was vividly reminded of the time Vivian had tried (and in a way succeeded) to make him vegeterian. "And, um, I'm sorry for making assumptions. I think the qualities you listed are actually very good. I hope you find him eventually."
Vivian waved her hand dismissively, like it wasn't important, but there was a small smile tugging at her lips. Merlin smiled a bit to himself and turned his attention to the cookies again. This he had learned a long time ago: if something was important to Vivian, she tended to preach. With passion. She didn't do it often and she always waved it off like it had been something insignificant. For such a talkative girl she sure guarded her opinions fervently.
"So... what are you going to make for Arthur?" Vivian asked, like nothing had happened. "I would suggest this horse. You could tell him it's a donkey." she suggested cheerfully and Merlin chuckled. "Maybe..." He had already made quite a lot cookies he had decided were for Arthur. He would wrap some of the 'footballs' and stars in a box to make an assortment with a single heart on top. He had made quite a lot of hearts successfully and had trouble deciding which cookie to choose, but maybe he would make an even prettier one now that he had gotten the hang of decorating with chocolate.
Vivian sighed dramatically and Merlin realised he had been staring at some of the cookies. "Yes, yes, alright. Here." Vivian sighed with mock boredom in her tone and rolled her eyes. She handed a heart shaped cutter towards Merlin, bigger than one that they had previously used.
"Huh?" Merlin asked, his brain short circuiting. "Yeah, ok, I hid it before because I didn't want to see that face, but apparently it didn't work so here." She said and placed the cutter next to Merlin. The kitchen walls seemed to close in on them and even if Merlin couldn't take his eyes off the new heart-shaped cutter, he heard the kitchen door open and close again. He was sure it was Sir Olaf and he was ready to faint.
"What?" he asked instinctively. He felt like he was on thin ice in the middle of the lake he had lived next to as a child, looking at the dark water underneath it and remembering a story of spirits that liked to drag children into water and eat them. Being such a long time since summer and there being any children swimming around, they must have been really hungry.
"Please Merlin, you know I hate to repeat myself. I know you are dating." Vivian sounded slightly impatient but Merlin could only concentrate on the buzz in his ears. "Uh, with who." His voice was bland and there was no expression on his face, his mind focused on listening to every maid and cook and the sound of steps (that could belong to Sir Olaf) around him.
"Arthur! Who else?!" Merlin finally turned to face Vivian, who looked like she was about to pop a vein. Time seemed to move too fast now and all he could do was state the obvious. "You knew." Vivian threw her hands in the air. "Yes! And I thought you were the one who actually listened to what I said! I told you ages ago!" She was clearly frustrated with him, but to Merlin it seemed incorrectly directed towards him. He was standing there, learning that Vivian had known he and Arthur were together and Vivian voice was so loud that even the neighbours about ten kilometres away could hear her. She was not the one who should feel frustrated here, but when Merlin was about to snap at her to keep her voice down he realised what Vivian had said. "Ages ago?"
"Yes, when I lied to my father that you were already dating when you gave me that book with Gwen." Vivian had turned her attention to the cookies again and girl or not, Merlin was about to shake her and tell her to concentrate. This girl really had no people skills whatsoever!
"Lied?" He asked. He felt faint and pale, but he was starting to find himself quite upset with Vivian. "Yes, well you weren't obviously together yet, but it was just a matter of time, so what's the difference?" She said dismissively. "How am I supposed to know who you tell your father I am going out with? And how dare you say things like that to anyone?! No wonder your father hates me I-" Merlin was truly mad now and when he realised when this had happened... Uther could have heard that he was dating Arthur... from Sir Olaf...when he had barely been able to talk to Arthur without fearing the consequences. He felt sick.
"My father doesn't hate you. He-" Vivian started, but then she must have seen how Merlin looked and she closed her mouth. Merlin was so mad at her... But it paled in comparison to the sick feeling in his stomach. He knew that it was too late to be this upset, nothing had happened after all... or maybe Uther had heard and that was why some of it had happened in the first place. Memories of the times Merlin had no idea why Uther had been so mad at him, hated him so much, were spinning through his mind and not helping at all. He needed to sit down.
Merlin pushed against Vivian's side to get her out of her chair and even without any strength in his now heavy feeling arms, Vivian jumped out of the chair and made room for Merlin. 'It's already over' Merlin tried to reason with himself. He didn't care about the maids around him anymore. He faintly heard a snap of fingers besides his ear and he briefly remembered Vivian was still there. The sugar and the chocolate smelled heavy and nauseating now. Until a fresh smell hit his nostrils.
Merlin opened his eyes and there was a mint tea in front of him. Made of fresh mint leaves and lemon and ginger. Merlin reached for it automatically and didn't even flinch when he felt Vivian's slender fingers on his wrist. She was again sitting on a chair and, funnily enough, Merlin wanted to ask why he had stood the whole day if there was another chair available.
Vivian actually looked sorry and she spoke with surprising care and a gentle voice. "Merlin, you realise that my father doesn't think any less of you because of who you choose to date and that goes for me too. Well, I think you could do better than Arthur, but that is, again, your choice." Merlin was sure that Vivian would mock him if he cried now, but he was dangerously close to tears. He managed to let out a small, nervous laugh. "Who did he tell?" he asked fearing the answer.
"No-one. I told him not to. Besides... You know, we are an old family. There have been dark times in our history and I think everything from psychosis to drinking blood could be discovered about my ancestors if one dug long enough. Like all the old families, we keep to ourselves, but I have quite a good idea on my family's opinion about almost everything under the sun." Vivian kept talking and it was calming Merlin, who kept his eyes on his tea.
"Getting closer to the topic at hand, my father's sister is a lesbian. I think my grandmother legally disowned her ages ago, but my father has kept her in his life. He once told me that his mother could cut the connection between herself and her daughter, but that was the only thing she had power to do. That's why she's my father's sister now."
"Then why does he hate me?" Merlin asked in a broken tone. Vivian's story was... nice, but he had trouble believing it. Sir Olaf was so... he couldn't have actually done that?
"He doesn't hate you. I just don't think he is convinced that you are actually dating Arthur." Vivian seemed to find that a bit amusing, even if she was actually making the effort of hiding it. Merlin looked at her feeling utterly confused.
"He has known Arthur since, forever. I'm not sure if you knew this, but he's not actually Uther's friend, but Ygraine's. De Bois is an old family too and we had some alliances like hundred years ago or something." Vivian never explained anything in such detail normally and Merlin started to feel that he had made quite a scene.
"Who?" he asked weakly, before he realised he could break the mood by asking what Vivian clearly thought he already knew. "Arthur's mother. Honestly Merlin... But anyway. My father thought I was lying to him and he doesn't like to doubt my word. So I think he doubts your word instead and he doesn't like anyone who lies to me." Vivian explained and Merlin still looked at her without truly understanding any of it.
"But you are here, that means he doesn't hate you. Besides, he has no say in it as long as you are my friend." Vivian said and Merlin laughed, a bit shakily but still. He now knew who was really in charge in this house. "If he would, you'd eat him for breakfast?" he asked and Vivian threw her curls behind her shoulders. "You bet I would." and just like that, Merlin wasn't afraid anymore. Embarrassed, as now that he looked up he could see how the maids were looking at him and he could tell that at least one of them didn't think too kindly of him anymore, but no longer scared. Sure, he was hiding behind a petite girl's back, but it was a way better place to be than at the forefront of her rage.
"If you want to help your case, make a dozen of these and write 'Arthur' in the middle before you leave." Vivian looked amused and placed the big heart cutter in front of Merlin again. Yeah, ok, he could do that. And maybe it wasn't the worst thing that Vivian knew. After all... they were friends. And wasn't this (part of it) just what he had wanted? Vivian had not changed her attitude towards Merlin in any way, that was for sure, and in a very bizarre way it seemed that Sir Olaf hadn't either. He was getting ready to forgive Vivian and tell her that, but first...
"Hey!" Vivian shrieked when Merlin dusted a liberal amount of the gold dust on Vivian's head.
When Arthur came to pick Merlin up later in the night, he asked why Merlin's hair was glowing silver, but the real question lurking on the tip of his tongue was why Vivian followed his boyfriend out and handed him a cookie, decorated with chocolate and sugar hearts.
"What is it?" Arthur had to ask of Merlin, trying to decide if he was happy that Vivian didn't seem to despise him anymore or afraid that the cookie was a joke aimed at making him look like a fool. "It's a donkey!" Merlin seemed to have a hysterical fit in the front seat and Vivian laughed at Merlin's answer like it had been the funniest joke she had ever heard. She was standing next to Arthur's car wearing a floral printed dress and she didn't even have shoes on, just lacey, white socks. The wind had picked up, Vivian's curls would soon become disheveled and she was clearly starting to feel cold.
It was the first time Arthur remembered seeing her laugh.
A/N Hello! Happy Valentine's day! I'm only almost a month late, but well, ups.
I wasn't sure if I should even write this or not, but then I asked from my awesome beta MalteseFalconM and here we are! I hope you enjoyed this little Merlin / Vivian friendship snippet that finaly tied up some of Vivian's character and revealed my little running joke of how Vivian actually told her father long ago that Merlin and Arthur were dating. :P
AngelDove1 and mersa123, thank you for your reviews, I can always trust on you guys to give feedback and kind words to motivate me to write more :) Everyone who have continued to read this far, thank you! There would be no point in writing without you. Have a great weekend you all!
AngelDove1 Oh wow, a new favourite! I must have done something right then ;) You know I could so imagine you cushing over someone like that :D Yeah, Merlin doesn't say the word 'boyfriend' nearly often enough. Of course, you know, in a relationship you don't address your partner as boyfriend. That would be weird... 'good morning boyfriend' 'how was your day boyfriend?' no... but because they never introduce themselves as a couple, it of course felt very special to hear it. Arthur truly would want to just be open about it, but he still trust on Melrin in this. He knows that Merlin has thought it through better than him. Melrin on the other had... well, we got that already :D He really does think of Arthur, but now he has finaly realised that he has to do for Arthur too. As you said, promising to change is the first step :) Great that you liked the lighter moments also! Gabbagehead... I realised I hadn't used it yet, so it had to be that one :D Talking with Morgana was tireing and Melrin had also stayed up most of the night, so faaling asleep felt logical at that point. He held it pretty well until they had to leave ;) Yes! Again you got me so well, Arthur really did realise how how Merlin acts is not because of how he truly is. I put it in maybe the last chapter (?) that Arthur was sad that he couldn't tell Merlin's own ersonal traits appart from those things that had to do with his trauma, but after this all, he felt that he could now say Melrin was shy, but also that shy or not, that was something that is not Melrin, so it needs to be dug out and get rid of. It's like, he doesn't want to change Merlin, but find him from under all that crap his father has fed him. Hey, but in a way, that you are always there to write me these lovely comments, you are rooting for these Melrin and Arthur ;)
mersan123 Sorry for the long wait! At least with this extra chapter the wait wasn't that long :P Yes, Merlin is taking some huge steps now. Before, Merlin was getting better partly because of the enviroment change, but now he is where he truly have to start to actively think of the places he need to work on himself in order to truly find his balance and confidence. In a way this was first of those steps. No he has a lot of work ahead of him, but we will see in the next chapter how that goes ;) Morgana and Arthur have a long way ahead of the, but yes, no the door is open :) There can never be too many people supporting you and Merlin and Morgana will do each others a lot of good for they are the one person who they don't need to explain anything. Thank you again, it's always a pleasure to get a comment from you!