Hopeful Boats

or

Silly Buggers

It was quite the about-turn. That night, Lily gathered Emmeline and Marlene —the only two Gryffindor girls to be had at nine thirty on a Friday due to lack of snog-buddies —into the confines of her four-poster, quite by force. It was entirely reasonable, she said in a placating way to a hissing Emmeline that Lily should want to nut out her troubles with two of her bosom-dearest. Anyway, it wasn't her fault that the silly bugger had gotten it into her head that catching up on sleep was a good thing to do at this time of night.

'We could be anyone, Lily,' Marlene said bluntly. 'At this point you'd happily tell Peeves your troubles.'

And to some degree this was true. The bosom-dearest idea quickly degenerated into Lily rambling on about what precisely it was she couldn't do to reestablish herself as a contender for James Potter's hand, and what would be acceptable. Marlene and Emmeline could only sit there and look sympathetic —well, Marlene looked frankly irritated and Emmeline was pretending to look sympathetic and quickly failing.

'And so onto the next issue: clothing. I want to win him with my soul and wit, not my womanly wiles, so anything provocative is not an option.'

In the nanoseconds where Lily paused to draw breath, Marlene got in pointedly, 'You generally dress in a nun's weekend wear.'

The redhead took a moment to consider whether she found that hurtful or not, but decided there was probably some truth in it, and so pushed on with her contention. 'Well, yes, but I'm not sure… my lavender blouse, for examp—'

'Lavender is possibly the most un-provocative colour that anyone could wear,' Emmeline said, groaning. 'It screams "nursing home", Lily!'

Shot down, and suddenly realising that her bosom-dearest might actually have something constructive to say on the subject, Lily opened the board to them. 'Alright,' she said levelly, 'what do you think I should do, then?'

Marlene perked up quite suddenly. She grinned. 'Excellent. Em, how about you do the tactful stuff and then I can get down to what you actually mean?'

Lily frowned and opened her mouth to object, but Emmeline nodded. 'That sounds reasonable. Okay, Lil.' She shifted into a more comfortable position. She had at some point rolled over to occupy two thirds of the bed and now it was a least three quarters. Folding her hands over her chest, she stared up at the canopy of Lily's four-poster in contemplation.

'This is how I see it. You want James to have and to hold, yes? But you've realised —and I really admire this, by the way —' Emmeline's tone was so genuine here that Lily thought for the first time that it was possible that she was doing something right ' —that it'll be a hollow victory if your relationship is born from the smoking ashes of a recently deceased one —'

'Must you always speak in prose?' Marlene interjected, nose wrinkled with disgust.

'It is a bit distracting,' Lily admitted.

Emmeline frowned. 'Alright, plebeians, in more era-appropriate terms, then.' She thought for a second. 'Summated for you scummy birds: if Lily is a bitch to Daisy and then nabs James she'll feel like a real wanker.'

'Nicely done,' Lily said in surprise.

'How crass,' Marlene said disdainfully.

'Thank you.' Emmeline inclined her head regally. 'So, my thoughts are, Lil, go on as you were.'

At both Lily and Marlene's incredulous looks, she elaborated. 'Be his friend, but not exclusively. Talk to Daisy as well. Get to know his mates. I'm not sure you're physically capable of flirting, but you and James, already —' she shook her head and exhaled as if she couldn't quite compute what had happened ' —you already talk as if you're the only ones around. Go on as you were, but be careful: don't be a threat, just be there. Become part of his life again.'

For once all four girls —Dorcas was clued into what had transpired in the four-poster when she came back from her "study session" with Dominic Fletchey ten minutes later —were in accordance about something. Emmeline's advice was unanimously voted sound and it was recommended that Lily act upon it. Immediately. In fact, so fired up were the zealots that when Dorcas mentioned that James and 'the lads' were in the common room, Lily was all but pushed into the corridor.

'Fanatics, all of you,' she wailed, gripping either side of the doorframe as Emmeline tickled her ribs and Marlene, with her head embedded in Lily's stomach, tried to violently shove her out. 'I will not move,' she got out through gritted teeth. Dorcas, who was shedding her cloak and bag next to her bed, said in her wise, Dorcas-y way, 'Leave her alone, you twits. Give the situation time to breathe, I say.'

Of course Marlene and Emmeline listened to Dorcas, not Lily, and soon left her alone. After she had recovered from the attack and had ascertained that Emmeline and Marlene's attentions were occupied elsewhere, she settled next to Dorcas on her bed.

'So, Dom Fletchey, eh?' Lily said, poking her sober friend in the side.

The other witch rubbed at the prodded spot in an absent way. 'Nope,' she said. 'Despite all the quotation marks you guys use, they're actually just study sessions.'

After a moment Lily said, 'But you want the quotation marks.'

Dorcas's sigh was almost inaudible; the most delicate, sad little exhale of air Lily had ever heard. She felt guilty for what felt like the twentieth time that day: she'd been so absorbed in her own agonies that she'd forgotten about things like Dorcas's quiet and steady enchantment with Dominic Fletchey.

'What's it been, two years now?'

A little smile appeared on Dorcas's face. 'And he hasn't noticed. I'm sure of it —' she said in response to Lily's incredulous look. Surely he'd have heard about it from someone, somewhere. 'He wouldn't talk endlessly about Olivia if he knew. He's too nice for that.'

'Finch? He likes Olivia Finch?'

'Yep,' Dorcas said, picking at the cuff of her blouse. 'Does he ever. And I don't blame him, the way he makes her out to be.'

'Huh,' said Lily, planting her hands firmly on either side of her legs and pulling her shoulders up to her ears. She rocked back and forth. 'This should be a boat, your bed. Cause we're in the same one!' She waggled her eyebrows and guffawed loudly.

Dorcas graced the terrible joke with a smile, but then said 'nah,' in the quietest little voice. Her eyes were fixed on her knees. 'Yours is a hopeful boat, Evans. Mine's a sure sinker.'

Over the next few weeks Lily felt like she had at least five separate brains. There was Dorcas to think about —getting Dominic Fletchey to notice her had become an overnight priority much to the girl's distress —not to mention schoolwork, prefect duties and what had evolved from Operation Chase James Potter into the James/Daisy/Lily Debacle. Also, Dumbledore's hundred and seventh was fast approaching and decorating took up most of Lily's free time. The theme chosen was awe-inspiringly redundant: 'Magic and Mayhem'. Frida Clearwater had suggested it, and Phillip MacMillan in his sheep-like way had paid off a few fifth year Slytherins to support the stupid theme. Naturally, Frida had loved him thereon, much to poor Arj Patil's distress.

On a Tuesday evening in early April Lily was sitting atop a suspicious-looking bit of scaffolding Peter had produced from a broom cupboard somewhere. Remus had called ill —he does look a little pale and pinched, Lily admitted —and so she had had to suck it up and climb the damn shaky scaffold while he passed her up the decorations. He was carrying the thing from pillar to pillar though, which made up for it a little.

'I just don't know what to do,' Lily was saying as she industriously charmed one of Filibuster's Rebooting Rockets to a pillar. 'Dorcas has liked him for so long. And she's just the most —the most —' She frowned as the sticking charm wore off after a few seconds. She had a feeling that fireworks weren't meant to be glued down, but she had her specific instructions. The fireworks were supposed to go off every time someone walked past the pillar. 'Ah. Got it. Anyway, she's one of the best people I know and Olivia Finch has the biggest forehead I've ever seen on a human being.'

Down below, Remus gave the scaffold a little shake, which caused Lily to shriek and grab ahold of the pillar. 'Maybe you should let it alone,' he suggested mildly after the stream of expletives had died down to a trickle. Lily scoffed, both arms still wrapped around the cool granite. 'You're asking me to deny my very nature. What would Nietzsche say?'

'I'm not sure,' Remus said. 'Quite possibly he'd agree with me in this situation.'

'Alright then, Mister Let-it-alone. What do you think Dorcas should do?'

'I think she should just be there for him.' The words were so startlingly similar to what Emmeline had said to Lily a few weeks ago that Lily dropped her wand. It fell through the planks of the scaffold and clattered to the floor. Retrieving it and levitating it back up to her, Remus continued unperturbed. 'It might be hard, but you can't force anyone to like you. You can flirt, and maybe they'll come along more quickly, but if you want the genuine thing —the thing that's not just —just attraction —you've got to wait.'

'Right.' Lily's brain was ticking over. 'You read that out of a self-help novel.' She finished with the firework and climbed slowly down the side of the scaffold. Remus lifted one side of the rickety structure onto its wheels and began to pull it along behind him. His fellow prefect was thinking hard. She followed him slowly down the corridor. It was only once he had set up the scaffold at the next location and she had hesitantly scaled it that she reopened the subject.

'So what about Olivia, then? What is Dorcas supposed to do about Olivia?'

Remus didn't reply for a moment. Lily looked down to see what had occupied his attention, but he was staring up at her in a very penetrating way. Oh dear. His eyes were narrowed perceptively.

'Might this information aid you two-fold?'

'You sound like Em,' Lily said mournfully, avoiding the question. 'You both talk like Byron. But yes,' she said with bashful honesty, feeling a blush start up on her cheeks when Remus gave her a significant look. She turned back to the pillar and began again the fiddly process of charming the fireworks into position. 'It might help more than one person.'

Remus is bloody wise, Lily thought as she traipsed down to dinner later that evening. He's like one of them ancient Greek moon oracles. What had he said? It'd been much the same as what Emmeline had been saying over the last few weeks, but he'd put it in such a… Remus-y way.

'I just think,' he had said simply, 'that you have to put yourself in Daisy's shoes. How would it feel to be in her place?'

Lily had scowled down at him. 'Are you trying to help me, Remus? I've already got guilt compounding fortnightly at fifteen percent interest in the bank account of my mind.'

Remus blinked. She had waved a dismissive hand. 'My dad's an accountant. Don't worry.'

They moved along to the next pillar. Lily scrambled up the scaffold and reached down for the fireworks. 'You're not going to like this,' Remus had said, passing her up another Rebooting Rocket. 'But I think you've just got to let the relationship run its course.'

Eye nearly bugging out of her head, Lily had wailed 'but she's perfect!' so loudly and fervidly that the Rocket actually began sparking in her hand and she nearly fell to her death. 'The course of that relationship will be eternal. Till death do them part,' she said in utter misery once she had righted herself.

Remus didn't say anything else, but there was a little look in his eye that said trust me, Lily Evans, I know things.

So, she was taking his advice. His and Emmeline's. And my own, she thought, frowning. I was the first one to think about it. I've got to start trusting me, she thought, straightening her back and raising her chin a little. I have damn good ideas.