Chapter 11

A Reason To Fight On

In a certain room within the newly capture sluice gate, the clinking of bottles and the moaning of a man in depression could be heard.

Gray groaned as he put the bottle to his lips, emptying its contents. His mind was hazy, but he liked it that way. Better addled and dulled than to face the reality of what happened a few days prior: The flash of flame, the cries, and his friend on the floor with a charred chest, looking up to the ceiling with a stare of a dead man.

Of course, he wasn't dead. By some miracle or curse, he had hung on to life. Barely breathing and barely accepting the broth and water that was provided to him each day. Silque had said that he did not know when, or if, he would recover, and whatever semblance of restraint his best friend had was shattered at that very moment.

And so he drank, pilfering the stores of the nobles, not enough for it to be noticeable, but enough to drown his sorrows in the privacy of his chamber, enough to make him forget about his grief, if only for a while.

"Why do the nobles deserve this anyways?" Gray thought as he emptied his bottle, the second of the night. "We common folk are the ones who made it; they just come in and take whatever they want. That's what they always do, bastards!"

As he threw his bottle and reached for another one, a knock on the door broke him from his stupor. He'd had visits before: from Alm and his friends, from Clive, even from Clair, all of whom he rejected and pushed away. He didn't want their pity; he wanted to laugh with his friend again, to go back to the days where he could boast about their survival.

"Oh, go away." Gray shouted as the knocking persisted, his voice heavy and slurred. "I don't want to see you; I don't want to see anyone."

The knocking stopped, and Gray was just about to open another bottle before it entered. Kliff emerged from the other side and gave him a look.

"W-what do you want." Gray said as he put the bottle to his mouth, only for his friend to swat it away, its contents spilling on the floor. "Hey! That was mine to…to…"

With a surprising strength Kliff pulled his friend up and slammed him against the wall. Looking directly into his friend's face, Gray could see that he wore the same face as he always wore, neutral with a hint of irritability. It angered him how calm he could be even when his friend was at the edge of death.

"You're coming with me." Kliff said simply, his tone brief and blunt.

Gray pushed him off and leaned on the wall, the drinks affective his balanced as he glared at his friend. "Piss off! I don't want to go nowhere, I don't wanna…wanna…"

Kliff's face finally changed into one of disgust as he slap Gray across the face, a hard swipe that left a mark on his cheek. "You're coming with me." He repeated again, his tone dropping to a threatening low.

Gray was still not intimidated, especially not in this state. "Or what?" He asked, almost roaring as he said it aloud. "You're going to kill me?"

Kliff's response was a simple sigh as he reached for the doorway, giving him one last look. "You're pathetic." He said nothing more as he left him alone, Gray slumping down to the floor.

Drink. He needed more drink, but all his bottles were emptied now. There was nothing to do but to face with reality again, and Gray almost sank into despair. In desperation he bolted out of his room and saw Kliff leaning on the hallway. His friend said nothing as he turned his back on him and walked away, Gray mutely following.

They made their way outside the sluice gate on the Zofian side. It wasn't guarded, but torches lit up the grassy plain along the river. Coupled with moonlight, it made for a beautiful sight. Gray cared for none of it.

They finally stopped near the western part of the wall, and Gray could see a training sword lodged within a trunk. He turned to Kliff and said "I'm not in the mood for-"

A sudden bolt of lightning made him jump to the side. Even under the influence, his reflexes were still working, though his dodge was a clumsy one as he landed on his knees. He quickly got up and looked at his friend, who held his hand towards him, another spell ready.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gray shouted, but was simply met with another spell as Kliff continued to stay silent. Gray rolled to the side and picked up his sword, brandishing it. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Do you think you're the only one worried about him?" Kliff said simply as he fired off another spell. Gray rolled off to the side and began charging him. "You're the only one who's stupid enough to think that."

Gray simply screamed as he charged towards his friend, who fired off another spell. Not bothering to dodge it, it hit him in the shoulder, his sword flying off his hand. And yet he charged and tackled his friend into the ground, rolling the both of them to the grass.

Pinning Kliff, Gray starred at his friend, and was only now noticing the traces of red on the corner of his eye, and the subtle bags underneath it.

"Do you think you're the only one who's worried?" Kliff repeated again, struggling against his hold. He broke an arm free and punched Gray in the face, sending him tumbling off him.

The two rose up and looked at each other, shame and understanding in their eyes. Gray could feel a tear rolling down his cheek, and he looked away as he sniffed.

Kliff looked away as well, muttering. "You know I'm not good at this…Why do you make it so hard?"

"S-sorry, guess I just seem to make everything a bit harder for you huh?" Gray said, forcing out a chuckle. "I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…you know…"

"Yeah, I know." Kliff said simply as he brushed the grass off his robe, and quickly raised his hand towards his friend, power welling towards it. "I brought you here to cool you off, so are you going to pick up the sword or what?"

Brushing off his tears, Gray quickly rushed to pick up his fallen sword and turned it on his friend. He gave him a smile. It wasn't a genuine one, but it was still a smile. "I'm going to beat you."

"A gold piece says you won't last five minutes." Kliff retorted as a smile formed on his lips, or what would pass for a smile when it comes to Kliff.

The two danced and sparred throughout the night, making them forget about their worries, and about themselves.

In the makeshift infirmary a low candled was lit as a girl looked over a man in his bed. Faye stared at Tobin, his chest barely rising and falling. Faye's face was a tired one, her eyes red from all the tears. She would have shed more if not for the fact that it wouldn't change the situation.

Among the Ram Villagers, Faye took this loss the hardest, to the surprise of herself. She knew Gray and Kliff were grieving as well in their own ways, but it was shocking how hard and raw her anguish was, and still is, over Tobin.

And so, every day and most nights she would come here, praying for her friend to recover. For him to open his eyes and give her the smile he so often gave. But every time she went it would be the same: the eyes shut, the chest slowly rising and falling, his lips fixed in a grim frown.

"Please wake up…" Faye said, staring at him as she often did these days. "I don't want you to die…"

Her thoughts went back to only a scant few days ago, where they both sat and talked under the moonlight. She wanted to go back to that moment, to hear his words one more time. And it was replaying that moment in her head that made her wonder…

"You know." Faye said, voicing her thoughts. She didn't know why she did so, and she risked waking up the other patients here, but she still wanted to speak. "I haven't been thinking about Alm at all lately, not even a bit."

She was sure that if she said that, Tobin would look at her with the most shocked expression of his life. Just imagining it made her giggle, if only a little. But it was nonetheless true and almost unprecedented as far as she was concerned.

"Yeah, I know how crazy it sounds. But it's true." Faye whispered, her voice slightly hoarse. "During training, at night, even when I'm just relaxing I think about him, even a little. But now I can't think of him at all."

She let out a light yawn and rubbed her eyes. She was tired and it was late, but she just wanted to stay here a little longer. She wanted to be by his side when he woke up.

"I've been…thinking about you." She said at last, as if waiting for his response. "I remembered what you said that night before the battle, Tobin. That you've gotten over your feelings for me. I…I don't want that to be true."

"You've always been there by my side, always smiling, always laughing. I…think I want to be by yours." She finished with an unsteady tone, unsteady in her resolve. She'd had feelings for Alm for years now, and wasn't sure if she could throw that away so easily.

But she wanted to, knowing his heart belonged to another, and knowing that there's someone who understands her. That's who she wanted to be with, even as she wavered in her mind.

"There, I've said it. I hope you're happy." Faye said, feigning annoyance. She let out another yawn, a quieter one this time. She figured that no harm could be done by resting a little bit, and so leaned back on her chair and closed her eyes.

"So please, wake up…for me…" Were the last words she whispered out before sleep claimed her tired mind.

The sun had risen, its light shining on two young men lying down on the grass. They let out exhausted, but satisfied gasps, their weapons tossed clumsily away.

Gray sat up after a while and looked at Kliff. It was odd to see Kliff have any expression other than mild disdain, but the man looked oddly serene, staring up into the orange sky.

"Why'd you do this, Kliff?" Gray asked as he stood up and stretched his tired and bruised body, he was sure he was going to feel those later, but for now he didn't care. He had let go of his worries for the night, and that was something he would gladly put his body through hell for.

Kliff didn't rise, still lying on the grass. "It's what Tobin would do, isn't it?"

Gray simply nodded in agreement and said nothing. After a good while, they headed inside the sluice gate and went their separate ways. Several people gave Gray looks as he passed them, but he ignored them as he turned the hallway to his quarters…

…and found Clair waiting outside, leaning her back against the wall with a worried look on her face. Gray couldn't help but blush at the thought of her waiting for him and found it oddly adorable, though he definitely wouldn't say that to her face.

"Um, hey Clair…" Gray said as he approached her. Clair immediately turned around and looked at him, a shocked expression on her face.

"Gray, where have you been, I was waiting for…" She cut herself off, probably to hide the fact that she was waiting longer that she wanted. "Never mind that, would the boy care to tell me why his body is so…filthy?"

Gray blushed, slightly embarrassed. "Um, I was…letting some stuff out."

"Well, I'm glad to see your mood has improved, if only a little." The noblewoman responded, a slight flush on her cheeks. "It was…rather difficult seeing you as you were the past few days."

"I can imagine." Gray said, and sighed. "Listen, sorry. I know I haven't made things easy."

"The boy is excused, given the circumstances." Clair said before he could continued, flashing him an understanding smile. "I know what it's like to grieve, and how it can consume you."

The young villager simply nodded back, flashing a quick smile in response. A moment of understanding passed between them, as while she never made a deal about it, her parents were no longer with her. They both knew loss. Clair's flush deepened and she looked away slightly, even more embarrassed. "A-anyways, if there is anything that I can do to ease your pain, you may ask for it. Consider it a blessing that I've extended this offer."

"T-thanks…" Gray replied, feeling a little of his aches soothe. Such was her effect on him. "Well, actually I wouldn't mind if we did something together. Maybe a night out?"

Clair was shocked by the sudden response. She meant the offer as a kind gesture, and was caught unawares when he actually decided to take her up on it. "U-um, well…" She said, internally cursing at her stuttering. "I would be honored to, but as you can no doubt imagine, the lady is very busy, but rest assured I shall keep my word…sometime in the future."

"Alright then…" Gray said with a nod and headed into his room, leaving a flustered Clair outside. He didn't sound disappointed or excited, merely tired.

Clair walked out of the hallway with mixed thoughts. On the one hand, she'd promise Gray what essentially amounts to a session of courting. On the other, she didn't entirely oppose the thought, and was starting to reevaluate her feelings of him.

There was definitely fondness and gratitude for both saving her life and for saving the life of Lady Mathilda, but as for whether there was anything resembling affection…she still wasn't certain. Friends she would gladly accept, but suitors…

With an annoyed sigh, she simply couldn't find an answer, and decided that she'll make her decision when she and Gray met again.

Faye woke up to sunlight, and felt her body ache from sleeping on the chair. She internally chided herself for accidentally sleeping through the night, and looked towards Tobin. His body still rested, still alive, but not awake.

"Hey sleepyhead, had a nice nap?" A voice called out. She quickly turned around to see Gray, who gave her a playful wave as he approached her. Faye let out a slight smile in appreciation.

"No, it was painful. But I was so tired…" She muttered out as she stood and stretched, feeling her joints respond warmly to it. "Besides, I wanted to see if he would wake up…"

The two exchanged a melancholy look and turned towards their friend lying on the bed. Their meetings here were always like this, silence at their loss, a quiet sorrow shared among them.

"I think…I found my answer." Gray said after a while, his voice sounding resolved. Faye looked to him with a curious gaze.

"Heh, I suppose you weren't there but…" He continued. "Back when we use to train, I mentioned how I really didn't have a reason to fight, not a strong one anyways."

"But now I do…" Gray said. "To protect you, Kliff, Alm and all the rest. To make sure nothing like this ever happens again. I think that's why I'm going to fight from now on."

Faye looked at him and saw that his face was as resolute as his words. She wasn't sure what caused this sudden change from his grief stricken state just a day prior, but she was happy for him. "Well, I think that's great. I'll watch your back too, you know?"

Gray simply nodded as the two grew silent, their grief slowly turning into resolve as they watched over their friend.

A few days later, the order was given to march onto Rigel. The army was just leaving the sluice gate on the long road to Rigel Castle, to put King Rudolf to justice for his crimes.

Gray, on Tobin's mount, looked back onto the building where his best friend still lay. His condition was improving, though he has yet to wake. Faye and Kliff looked beside him. The trio usually separated when marching, to attend to their respective duties. Now they stuck together in their darkest moment, their shared hope.

"Feeling better?" Faye asked as they turned back towards the horizon to Rigel, towards the next battle.

"Not even close." Gray muttered. "You?"

Faye shook her head. They've both went to sleep the last night, the first real one in what seemed like eons. With the rest came a renewed resolve, for Gray especially, the resolve to carry on in spite of leaving their friends behind.

Looking beyond, they could see Alm shouting words of encouragement towards the army, though even the most careless of observes can notice the heavy bags under his eyes, and the slight twitch on his mouth. It comforted the Ram Villagers to know that as distant as Alm could be at times, he still cared for the people he grew up with.

"Alright, I'll have to go fetch my pegasus, scouting mission." Faye said and walked off, leaving Kliff and Gray. The two weren't the closest among the Ram Villagers, but the past few days have given them a closer understanding, and a tighter bond between the two of them.

"Battle soon, huh?" Gray said, which Kliff nodded in response. "I've got your back, promise."

"Yeah, like you're strong enough to protect me, you can't even protect yourself." Kliff shot back playfully, leading to a smirk from his friend. "Just let me do all the work, as usual."

The two made light banter as they marched on. When the next battle came, they thought, they will not meet it with bitterness or anger, but with determination to protect what matters to them. Their home, their lives.

And the lives of those who fought beside them.

Alright, this came out way later than I wanted to. A new year of college will do that. Regardless, happy Valentine's, and the next chapter will be the second encounter against Salt Lord Berkut -ArcanaHermit