I wasn't gonna bother explaining, but someone asked so... for the record, Midoriya is not being "legally" adopted. Like I said, it was a publicity stunt. He was placed in a hero's care temporarily while the Government organizations do their thing. I did not have any plans on expounding on that because we're having a time skip anyway, but just to clarify, Midoriya ended up choosing to stay in the Torodoki household. Okay? ;3
Also, you can consider Chapter 1 and 2 as being a long prologue, because here is where the real deal starts. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Raison D'être"
Chapter 03: Hell's Fire.
Midoriya fought against the light shining through his closed eyes. He knew it was morning and it was probably time to wake up, but really if he could get away with sleeping some more he would. He shifted to get comfortable, tugging on the sheets and snuggling on his pillow, belatedly realizing he couldn't move all that much. He crankily opened bleary eyes, squinting at the arm wrapped around his torso. He suppressed a tired sigh, wiggling to turn on his other side. And what greeted him was his Bocchan's sleeping face only an inch away. He stared at him.
The years have done absolute wonders on Todoroki, it was unfair. His face becoming sharper and more handsome. His body, toned and firm. He's also become more playful and open, along with better control of his powers. Really, sometimes Midoriya wonders where the years have gone. Looking back, some things felt like it only happened yesterday. But all that was so far away now. He placed a gentle hand on his Bocchan's face, biting his lower lip when Todoroki unconsciously nuzzles onto it. Really, this guy thinks he could get away with anything. And sometimes Midoriya gets so weak, he can't help wanting to let him get away with anything. Today was not one of those days.
With all his might, Midoriya pushed Todoroki's face away. "Bocchan~! How many times do I have to tell you to stay in your own futon?! You know very well that if Nee-chan catches us cuddling again, I'll never hear the end of it!"
Todoroki only grumbles and hugs him tighter.
Midoriya has been with the Todoroki family half of his life, and over the years he's learned that his Bocchan gets very, very, VERY clingy when comfy.
"If you don't let go of me now and wake up, I'll tell Uncle Enji you were actually the one who ate his share of that strawberry shortcake last week."
Todoroki squishes him in his embrace, digging his face into Midoriya's neck and growling this time.
Midoriya has been with the Todoroki family half of his life, and over the years he's learned that his Bocchan is really, really, REALLY not a morning person.
The green-haired teen finally sighs in defeat then. Teasing is all good until Todoroki starts growling like the huge feline he really is, granted he was probably still half asleep. But still, Midoriya can't compete against fire and ice. He shifts his attention towards the ceiling and decides to regret his life choices. He was only seven when he resolved to stay in the Todoroki household. Despite and in spite of Endeavor. Only for the sake of this half burning, half freezing piece of work, that's currently wrapped around him like a boa constrictor. Why a killer snake, you ask? Well, that's probably because this overgrown peppermint candy isn't all that sweet and innocent. Really.
He glanced at the clock, they still had a good five minutes to pretend they didn't need to get up yet so it should be fine. Then again, Midoriya was never really sure if all this was fine to begin with. And after seven long years, he's too afraid to ask now. But he's always had that inkling feeling at the back of his mind that makes him wonder, albeit vaguely. Was this really how brothers acted? Is it really okay to be so close? That it feels like their skin could be interchanging, breath intermingling, limbs all entangling. Because it wasn't like his Bocchan acted like that with their Nee-chan, or his much older brothers during the rare times they do visit. Midoriya wouldn't know though, being an only child. And if he had to guess, Todoroki probably wouldn't either, with how aloof he always was. Also, he's not really sure if he wants to know either. Like something could change with the answer, and there's no telling if it would be good or bad. As well as whether he'd like it, or not.
The alarm rings.
Midoriya dashes out the door with a half-eaten toast tucked in between his teeth. Jogging in place as he turns around to wait for his Bocchan. He eats the rest of the toast in a gulp before yelling back to the house. "Hurry up, Bocchan! We're going to be late!"
"We still have less than an hour before the bell, I don't understand why you have to hurry so much." Todoroki sits down in the entryway and starts tying his shoelaces.
"I'm going on without you then!" Midoriya waved to his back before breaking into a mad dash. "Bye, Nee-chan!"
"Wait!" Todoroki hurriedly tied his shoes and glared at the green head that was starting to disappear into the distance. He grumbles. "What's up with him?"
Fuyumi comes up from behind Todoroki, a hand lowering down from a wave. "I think he told me you have a class meeting today? About career assessments?"
Todoroki gives her an incredulous stare. "Oh."
"Take care, you two!" Fuyumi bids as Todoroki suddenly got up and started chasing after the other.
He had lost sight of him though, irritation and disbelief slowly etching on his face as he slows down into a jog. He couldn't believe Midoriya would actually leave him behind. Until someone lunges at him from the side. He almost loses his balance but he manages to catch onto the offending person's legs.
"You're so slow!" Midoriya teases as he wraps both arms around his Bocchan's neck. "As punishment, you get to piggyback me to school!"
"Why do I even have to?" Todoroki complains but he couldn't really fight the smile off his face.
"It's training," Midoriya rests his chin on Todoroki's left shoulder. "How are you going to be a good hero if you always come late? Heroes need to come just in the nick of time!"
Todoroki sighs but is really too happy to oblige. "Fine, fine. You win." You always do.
The green-haired kid then starts swinging his legs around. "Good, now run! Hurry or we'll be late!"
"It's fine even if we miss the meeting, it's optional so they won't put that in our records anyway," Todoroki just continues walking.
"But what if the teacher says something really important? We don't want to miss it." Midoriya stops swinging and tries to peak at his Bocchan's expression.
"If it's that important then they'd put it on the papers."
Midoriya takes a mouthful of air and pouts before grumbling. "It's because you already have an endorsement to Yuuei, that's why you don't care."
Todoroki stops walking, and they both pause for a minute. "Izuku, I'm not going to Yuuei."
Midoriya frowns, concern written on his face. "What do you mean? Did you have a fight with Uncle Enji again? What did you do?!"
"Nothing, I just..." Todoroki frowns at the insinuation that he was the one who did something wrong, but glances at the other and their eyes meet before he continues. "I want to go where you're going."
"Where I'm going?" The green-haired kid looked confused for a moment but then starts mumbling. "But I'm going to Yuuei too..."
Todoroki looks away, and that's when Midoriya pushes off from him. "Izuku!" He gets startled at the sudden action, worried the smaller kid would fall and hurt himself.
"So, you're saying I can't go to Yuuei because I don't have a quirk?!" The green-haired kid does fall on his butt but quickly gets up anyway without showing hurt.
"No!" Todoroki immediately responds but presses his lips into a tight line as he tries to shut himself up, still, he knows he has to say more. "You would just... have a hard time enrolling..."
"So, you're saying I won't pass."
"No." Todoroki rubs a hand on his face, letting out an exasperated sigh. He doesn't know anything for sure either, and he doesn't know if that answer was right. "Izuku, we've already talked about this. Please listen, we need to face reality."
"But we promised we'll both become heroes together!" Midoriya's eyes were starting to get glassy. "You said it's okay for me to become a hero too!"
"You can!" Todoroki knows this for sure, more than for himself. "But we don't have to go to Yuuei, we can go somewhere else..."
"Like where?!" Midoriya's tone was rising a pitch higher, angry tears threatening to fall. "To a college preparatory?! So then we could go to a university?! And get a normal job after that?!"
"No," the older kid tries to reason, but he doesn't want Midoriya to cry some more, so he bites his tongue. He doesn't know what to say either, his reasoning as weak as his tone.
"So, all this time I was the only one holding onto that promise?" Midoriya glares at him, as hard as he could with tears trailing down his face. "Tell me the truth, Bocchan!"
"I know that you can become a hero..." Todoroki says before looking down on the ground. "But you don't have to be."
A breath escapes Midoriya and his shoulders slacken. He understands what his Bocchan is trying to say, as well as why he was saying it. He was quirkless and only those who excel with their quirks ever really get into Yuuei. It was the number one school for Heroes, after all. How could you become a hero if you didn't have the power for it anyway? A lot of people want to become heroes, but most don't really make it. Not even those who have really good quirks. And he doesn't have one.
Understanding doesn't take away the pain though, it only adds up to the inability to do anything too. And the worst part was that it was his Bocchan who had said those things, after keeping hope all this time.
"I hate you, Bocchan!" Midoriya screamed before breaking into a sprint.
And Todoroki chose not to go after him, grimacing. He knew the green-haired kid needed the time and space. He didn't have the answers for him. Besides, it wasn't the first time they had a fight about the freckled child's quirklessness. It wasn't the first time the other has ran away from him. And it was most certainly not the first time Midoriya had told him he hated him. So he knew the green-haired kid would come around sooner or later, and apologize for the words he didn't mean. Because he knew unlike him, Midoriya doesn't spite.
Todoroki heaved a deep breath before proceeding to school by himself, and he regrets that. How he wished he had turned back then to chase after his precious charge. Because Midoriya didn't show up for the career assessment meeting, and the rest of their classes that day. Even when Todoroki had gone home, Midoriya wasn't there.
Midoriya was just gone.
Todoroki spent the next few days frantically searching throughout town for him. When he had come home to an empty bedroom, and after searching through the house, he had gone to the Police immediately. But up until now, they still didn't have any news of him. The same as he.
The bi-haired kid slowed to a stop at the street where Midoriya had jumped on him the last day he saw him. He has been through here many times, more than he could count the past couple of days. He had taken every route from here and checked in all the alleys but there was not a hint in sight. He let his head down, looking around wasn't helping when his head was spinning. He was nauseous, having not much eaten in a while. He hasn't slept a wink either. He was just so worried, he could cry. But he had done enough of that last night.
He thinks back at the argument they had, how Midoriya got mad at him and cried. How the other said he hated him and ran away. And Midoriya had done that before but he always, always came back in the end, to him. Except now. And he dreads the worst.
Todoroki was not raised in a religious family, having a father who didn't believe in God or miracles. But Midoriya, on the other hand, was a faithful soul. So just this once, he lowers his head and clasps his hands before closing his eyes to pray. To the Lord he doesn't know, to anyone who could hear his desperate pleas. For the green-haired child to be safe and to come home to him soon. Before he loses his mind.
And Todoroki does lose his mind, he realizes vaguely as he lies on his futon a couple of days later. Eyes bloodshot and tear-crusted as his stomach continued to grumble. He feels too weak to move, to speak, to hope. Midoriya is gone. And he's not sure which would hurt more, if he had gotten seriously hurt or if he had just really left him. The green-haired kid had left his cellphone on his desk, broken for some reason, but it means he really did come home after the argument. So where was he now? He feels like crying again, but he's too tired and numb already. He doesn't even know for how long he's confined himself inside his room and in bed. Fuyumi had been checking up on him and with the police, she comes by to give him food he doesn't eat and tell him updates that do not change. They still couldn't find him.
Suddenly, the doors bursts open so hard, it almost falls off its hinges. God, he wants to die.
"SHOUTO!" His father roared, stomping his feet menacingly towards him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Wasting away like this!"
He doesn't say anything, doesn't look, doesn't acknowledge.
"You don't even eat?! Are you trying to die?! You're of no use to me dead, boy!"
And Todoroki almost answers 'yes'.
"Get out of bed now! Eat and train!"
He vaguely wonders if his father would beat him up like this, but then he wouldn't really be surprised if he did.
"Don't you hear me?!" Endeavor finally grabs him by the collar of his shirt, shaking him, but Todoroki remained limp and lifeless. Frankly, even if he wanted to stand up right now he wouldn't be able to.
"Are you really doing this just because of that boy?!" Endeavor starts shaking him, but still, he doesn't respond. And so he receives a hard smack from huge hands that could cover half of his head, still, he doesn't give.
It was then when his father had started dragging him off on the floor without saying anything. The feeling of his skin constantly rubbing the hardwood floor was starting to cause friction, and it hurt, but he remained unmoving. He briefly saw Fuyumi running up to them from the other side of the corridor, before he was unceremoniously thrown into the dojo and his father had closed the door to her face. He knew he was gonna get beaten then. She probably did too, with how worried she looked.
"Shouto, do you know why I even bothered to bring home that boy?" Endeavor started, glaring at him with over-sized veins protruding his temples. "It's because when your mother was sent away, you became unmotivated."
To use his fire side, Todoroki thinks but his father doesn't say.
"But we both know of your potential, that you have the power and all the means! You just choose not to make use of them!" Endeavor crosses his arms with a huff before continuing menacingly. "You needed a reason, so I gave you one. But now you must realize, you don't need a reason in the first place. Because they would leave you anyway! Shouto, you need to understand that you have to be strong by yourself! If you're going to be the Number One Hero someday, you can't rely on anyone! You can't have weaknesses!"
Todoroki was starting to dread where this was going, like those many times his father hurt Midoriya. He wishes he didn't have to hear anything.
"I brought Izuku here because I thought you needed something to fight for. And that worked for a while, but now you have learned the hard lesson that you shouldn't even need him anyway, like he doesn't need you."
Todoroki finally lifts his gaze towards the older man's bulky figure, glaring as much as he could, flames reflected in his eyes.
"Come on now, Shouto. You're not stupid. Did you really think that kid wanted to be here, with you? You're just a big disappointment. You're useless to him so of course, he would leave you."
Todoroki pressed his lips together, albeit quivering. He would not cry in front of his father.
"That's the truth, Shouto. He's not hurt. He's actually fine, and in a far better shape that you are now. But why doesn't he come back here? It's because he's finally gotten sick of you..."
Of course, he didn't believe anything his father was saying. He couldn't. But then, his father finishes the sentence.
"Like your mother."
The words hurt, and they could be true. But at that moment all Todoroki could think of was, that his father must have sent Midoriya away.
He stops breathing, and the house explodes. [1]
The next thing Todoroki knew, he was lying on his stomach in a white padded room and his wrists were bound behind him.
He tried to think back to what happened or at least make sense of where he could be, but the only thing he could remember was fire. A lot of it. And it engulfed him.
He remembered he was fighting with his father, and Fuyumi was waiting outside the door. But that was it. That's the extent of what he could come up with. He figures he may have released his own fire, to fight back against his father. But he wasn't so sure how that went. And judging from what he could see around him, a hospital of some sort, his father was unfortunately still alive. Then again, it's not like a man made out of fire could be burnt down. He laments.
He felt heavy and still weak. He tried to get up but couldn't so he just rolled a little on his side. He noticed there was an IV drip on a stand behind him, connected to a needle protruding his left wrist. He could only guess what that was for but doesn't care enough to think about it. He looks around the room, and towards the door on the other side. It had a small window with metal bars. He wonders what kind of hospital this was, but decides he doesn't care much about that either.
He closes his eyes again and falls into slumber. If he had dreams of Midoriya, he'd wish he'd dream forever.
Eventually, someone comes in to check up on him and gives him food. He doesn't resist, he doesn't speak. Later on, some kind of Doctor comes and tries to talk to him, he doesn't respond either. He doesn't feel the need to. He doesn't care about them, he doesn't care what happens to him either.
Days past and things go on just like that, blurry and indistinct. He wonders how long this would last, as well as when something would change.
When change finally did happen, it wasn't what he was expecting. It wasn't what he had hoped for either. But he guesses, he should've seen it coming.
"Shouto, how long are you planning to act like this?"
It was his father, alive and well. As huge and bulky as the last time he's seen him, albeit a little older-looking. Though, Todoroki was sure it had not been that long.
"Do you really want to die just like this?"
Todoroki didn't answer, didn't look, didn't move, didn't acknowledge.
"Are you really going to waste everything I've worked on? All this time? Before you even become a hero?"
He wondered what kind of expression his father was making, he couldn't tell the feelings behind those words. Was he angry? Disappointed? Fed up with him? Probably all of those, but for once he just can't seem to place the tone. His head was a little fuzzy, like he was dreaming or half-asleep. He wasn't sure, he hadn't been sure of anything since he got here.
And again, he doesn't care.
Endeavor heaves a deep breath. The father and son never saw each other eye-to-eye, today wasn't going to be the first. The older man stands up on his full height and turns to his back, Todoroki belatedly realizing the man had crouched down to speak with him. But he seemed to have given up on his favorite child, and Todoroki was relieved.
Until Endeavor opened his mouth again.
"Yuuei's first day of school starts next week. Izuku passed the entrance exam."
With that, his father walks away without another glance. And the door closes.
It was then that Todoroki slowly sits up, he didn't even know he could move until he heard those words. And for the first time in a long while, he feels, tears falling from his eyes.
Todoroki was later told it had been a little over a week since he had been confined in what he learned to be a youth rehabilitation center. The people there believed he was sick, "like his mother". And so, he was not held responsible for the so-called "accident" he had arbitrarily caused. They had to make sure he was well enough to be cleared out though. So he ate, answered questions, did as he was told. Everything to get out of there as soon as he could, so he could attend Yuuei and meet Midoriya again.
He heard that he had blown up their house in a large fire, that Endeavor had been currently staying in his agency and that Fuyumi was in a hospital. He asked about how she was doing, but they didn't know. And he couldn't believe he had sent his sister there, like what his father did with his mother. Guilt and self-loathing ate at him. He doesn't know how he was ever going to face her again. He hopes things don't turn out like they did with him and his mother. But he would own up to it, however Fuyumi treats him now.
He moves on to wonder about Midoriya, if the green-haired boy was still mad at him or about why he had disappeared in the first place. There were too many thoughts going through his head, so many questions. The past week he's been nothing but numb and unfeeling, now he just feels overwhelmed, excited, nervous. But what he was sure of was that he couldn't wait to see Midoriya again.
His Yuuei uniform was sent to the facility, as the day came that he was being released. He was going to be escorted there, straight up since they weren't sure where to bring him, with his house having been destroyed and all. They were able to coordinate matters with his father though, so they had consent.
Todoroki stepped out of the car and bid goodbye to the people who took care of him. He never really cared to know their names, but he guesses if he ever sees them again, he would. He had apologized and thanked them though. He turns to his back and enters the gates. There was a path leading to the main building, surrounded by cherry blossoms in full bloom, and he takes it. He keeps walking until he catches a glimpse of evergreen. And for what seems to be the longest time he's gone without it, he breathes in air again.
"Izuku!"
The person in question stops walking, and turns back to look at him in slow-motion. Bright green eyes on a face littered with stardust and framed in curls. God, he missed him so much. So he runs.
And when he was close enough to touch, he kisses him.
rai·son d'ê·tre
(noun)
/ ,rāzôn 'detrə/
Origin: French, literally translates as 'reason for being' or 'reason to be'.
- The most important reason or the ultimate purpose of someone or something's existence or state of being.
AN:
Someone asked me to write the smut in a separate part, but really, I'm only writing the plot to justify the porn so... the best I could do is give a warning. Besides, this was supposed to be porn-without-plot originally, but I'm still not sure how many more chapters I need to build it up...
Anyway, please review! Thank you so much!
Fic Facts:
1.) Remember Todoroki's battle at the Sports Festival with Hanta Sero? The burst of explosion was like that, but with fire instead of ice. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
— Lynx
20180403
And I'm also on tumblr: fatecamiswhil ;D