In Another Lifetime (Chapter 8)
Several days have passed since Rick has taken over leadership of Woodbury. Tyreese has been essential in giving him detailed information about the community…..the supplies, the vehicles, the weapons and ammo, the citizens, the plans to fortify the walls, plots allotted to start growing their own fruits and vegetables, watch duty schedules, the best team of people for runs, sustaining livestock, etc.
Michonne helps out as well and she still assists Jeanette with management at the supply store. She has volunteered for watch duty but Rick has yet to assign her a shift. They have fallen into a routine where they have breakfast together, she and Rick walk the boys to school then they meet with Tyreese and Sasha. Michonne checks on the store and depending on where either of them are with their duties, one of them meets the boys at home or at the school and if neither of them are available, they send Noah.
Rick is also making plans to start weaponry training for the citizens who need it….guns and knives so everyone would be essential in taking down a threat…..a decomposing one or a living one. He has not had much interaction with Martinez, Shumpert, or Bob but he is ever watchful of those who didn't agree with his leadership status. Most of all, he can sense that Michonne isn't completely convinced that this place can work. He is determined to make Woodbury as safe as possible for her and their boys.
Michonne is trying to adjust to half of the women in the community wanting her advice or opinion on issues from personal problems and recipes to women's roles and fashion and the other half giving her certain looks, almost judgmental. She has found a friend in Sasha who promptly tells her to ignore those who don't seem to be adjusting to the new leadership. She finds that easier said than done, but continues to navigate through this new status. She wants them to go back to treating her like they did before. Most people were cordial but not overly friendly like they are now. She can't help wondering what they expect from her.
Even more taxing for her is the fact that she is having dreams about that awful night with the Governor. The first night it happened she was loud enough to draw Rick from the living area. He woke her up, she told him what she was reliving and he promptly took her into his arms and held her all night. She's not even sure why she is having these episodes but he is there whenever she needs him as they are basically sharing a room and a bed just like a true married couple.
Presently, she and Sasha have just left Tyreese and Rick and were taking a walk around the community. Michonne could see there was something on Sasha's mind and she was willing to help if she could.
"Everything ok?" Michonne asks.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Sasha returns. "I don't want to pry, but….I know how it is when you have to kill someone." She hesitates but continues, "We've had run-ins with others. We didn't know if they were friendly or not so we never took the chance."
"So you just killed them without asking questions or trying to find out who they were?"
"It was the Governor's way or no way. I'm not proud of that and for a while Tyreese and I both thought we owed him something. He was evil and cruel and I wish I had done what you did when I first realized what he was about." She looks around cautiously, checking their surroundings. "There was this family….The Greenes. The youngest daughter was raped by another kid named Randall. She….committed suicide when the Governor didn't punish Randall for what he'd done. The other sister and her husband….I still don't know what happened but Randall ended up dead. They were the first people ever banned from here. The Governor knew they weren't fighters…not really so he sent them out there to die. Tyreese and I searched for them in the very beginning but never found them. I guess we just have to assume they're dead. Maybe if we had spoken up sooner, things would've worked out differently for them. I said all of that to say you did the right thing. I can see you're struggling with it and I understand it but you had to protect yourself. Remember that."
"It was self-defense," Michonne repeats as Rick's voice plays in her head.
"Exactly."
Michonne was just about to ask a favor of Sasha when they hear raised voices, children yelling. They both look in the direction of the noise and see a small cluster of children who appear to be in some sort of scuffle. Mrs. Carson and Dawn are first on the scene and Michonne rushes forward as she sees Carl and Andre being pulled aside by Mrs. Carson while another older boy is pulled away by Dawn. She takes in Carl's bloody nose and the scratches on Andre's face and asks anxiously, "What happened?"
The kids all start talking at once as Rick and Tyreese join them.
"Please. One at a time," Michonne says as she rips the bottom of her tank top and applies pressure to Carl's nose.
"Tyler said you killed the Governor and I said only bad people kill and he called you a bad person so I hit him!" Andre yells.
Michonne and Rick connect visually as they listen.
Carl says, "Right. Tyler is 11 and I couldn't let him beat up Andre so I took up the fight for him. He's gonna take back what he said or I'm gonna hit him again."
Rick grabs both Carl and Andre and tells them to apologize to Tyler. The two gasp in outrage as they look at Rick.
"But Dad…." Carl begins.
"But Rick…." Andre starts.
"No arguments."
The two mumble their apologies reluctantly as Tyler smiles triumphantly. That smile fades as Rick orders him to apologize to Carl and Andre as well.
Michonne apologizes to Mrs. Carson and tells her they will have a talk with their sons. The teacher only nods as she instructs the other children to go on home. Dawn watches Michonne until the latter finally looks her way. All Michonne can do is wonder as Dawn seems to give her a knowing smirk. She swallows nervously as she contemplates what she will tell Carl and Andre. She steps in behind them as Rick guides them toward the infirmary.
Tyler's mom arrives, takes in her son's bruised face, and starts to demand answers. Tyreese and Sasha take it upon themselves to handle her while the Grimes Family moves on.
They arrive home after the boys are seen by Denise and bandaged accordingly. Michonne is dreading the talk but she knows she can't avoid it. The boys have been quiet but as soon as they close the door the questions start.
"So what really happened to the Governor? Who killed him?" Carl asks as Andre looks to his mom and Rick expectantly.
"Boys….can we just….." Rick trails off as Michonne says, "I killed him. I killed the Governor."
Carl goes silent as Andre frowns deeply and shakes his head.
"Mommy, that's not true. You wouldn't do that. Only bad people do that. Killing is wrong," Andre states.
Michonne takes a deep breath as she looks down at her son. "Yes, killing is wrong and it doesn't make me a bad person. I just…."
"But you and Daddy would watch the news and be sad and say it was a horrible thing when people got killed. They told us in church that God said do not kill. If you disobey God, he'll take you away. I don't want you to go away," Andre pleads.
"Son, your Mom's not going away. The Governor was a bad man who hurt people. He was gonna hurt your Mom, so she had to defend herself. Have you ever heard of self-defense?" Rick asks.
Andre nods. "You have to try and not get hurt if someone is trying to hurt you, but…..don't you still have to go to jail if you kill someone?"
"Michonne can't go to jail now. There are no more jails," Carl explains.
"The world has changed but we still have to try to do the right thang when we can. Sometimes, the right thang doesn't help keep us alive and we want to stay alive above anythang else." Rick drops to his haunches in front of Andre. "I'm gonna do all I can to keep you alive and Carl alive and your Mom. If that means killing a bad guy who's trying to hurt you, then that's what I'm gonna do. That's what your Mom did. She was just trying to stay alive for you."
"And for you and Carl, too?" Andre asks.
"Right. For us, too," Rick agrees.
"I didn't want to do. I don't think I had much choice," Michonne admits. "The last thing I want to do is disappoint you. I'm sorry."
Carl steps to her. "You did what you had to do to stay alive. I don't want to lose anybody else."
"Me neither," Andre offers as he throws his arms around his mother's waist and hugs her tightly.
Carl hugs her too and soon Rick steps in. Michonne breathes a little easier, having this issue dealt with and out into the open with her….family. She smiles as the boys start talking about dinner, a clear cue they are satisfied with the conversation and answers to their questions.
Later that night, the boys are tucked in for bed and Rick and Michonne move off to their room to prepare to turn in as well. She removes her sword and rests it against the wall by the door. She turns to face Rick and gives him a small smile.
"Thank you for saying what you said to the boys. I never thought something like this could ever happen to me. How do I see my way through this? There are people here who do see me as a bad person," she shares.
"Did you put a lot of stock into what people thought about you before?" Rick asks.
"No. My Mama always told me I couldn't worry about stuff like that. If I did, I'd never be happy and nothing would ever be good enough."
"Smart woman. You don't think that still applies?"
"It does but…I don't want to be the reason this place doesn't work for us or the people don't accept your leadership." She swallows nervously. "Aren't you questioning why these people had a leader in the first place?"
"This place is going to work for us. I'm going to make sure of that. As for a leader, what was the president? That has always been in place so maybe it's a way of holding on to something of what used to be," Rick explains.
"So you're not the Governor but the President?" Michonne asks with a smirk.
Rick tilts his head. "You got jokes huh? Good one."
She smiles widely. "I thought so. Of course I don't think I have to worry about any ego trips from you. I think you're one of the good ones."
"All I can do is try, so that's what I'm gonna do."
"You're going to be a fine leader, Mr. Grimes." She steps to him and impulsively places a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thanks aga….." Her words fade into the air as her eyes connect with his and the longing can be detected in his gaze. Her brown orbs search his blue ones as she realizes he is closing the distance between them.
His chest brushes hers as he leans forward and touches his lips to hers lightly. He can feel her hand glide up to his shoulder as they both press in to deepen the kiss. The feeling is heady as he places a hand at her back and the other on her upper arm, trying to control the urge to pull her even closer. He tilts his head as he opens his mouth, using his tongue to coax her to allow him inside.
She accepts his invitation and dives in, sliding her tongue against his. She pulls at him, sucking him in while he does the same, their lips and tongues colliding over and over again. Her body temperature elevates, the hand at his shoulder growing even warmer as well as the small area at her back where his hand is splayed against her. Her nipples constrict and she aches for him to touch them, taste them.
Hearts racing, adrenaline pumping, breathing ragged as they disconnect and rest their foreheads together. Michonne opens her eyes and all she can see is her wedding ring….the ring that symbolized her union with Mike. She sighs heavily as Mike's smiling face drifts to her memory.
"How can this feel so right and so wrong at the same time?" She asks.
"Wrong?" He opens his eyes as he questions her.
"We're still wearing our wedding rings. Are we….is this too soon?"
He sighs heavily, remembering Lori. "I don't know. Is there a right time? Especially now?" He reaches up to caress her cheek. "I can't explain it but I've never been this attracted to anyone. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you at that circus."
She smiles as the memory comes to her as well. "Then the donut shop. I've never been so nervous in my life and I didn't understand it. I had never….never thought about being unfaithful in my marriage, but you….I knew I had to stay away because you….you made me want to consider it. That's awful, isn't it?"
"No, it's not awful. You didn't act on it. Besides, your secret's safe with me and just so you know….you had the exact same effect on me. No one's ever made me feel that way. No one…..but you."
No matter what her body is screaming for, she realizes she's not ready to take this step with him. Why does it still feel as if I'd be cheating? She kisses him slowly, languidly. "I'm gonna take a shower now….a cold one."
They share a laugh before she moves toward the door, their hands still connected as if they're reluctant to let each other go.
The hour is past midnight as the two of them lie awake in bed, more aware of each other than ever before. She hugs the edge of the bed while he stays put on his side. He flops onto his back with a heavy sigh, throwing an arm across his eyes. He peeps over at her, admiring her curvy outline underneath the sheets.
Her entire body stiffens as she feels his fingertip glide against her upper back. She closes her eyes as she feels him move toward her, his body heat emanating like never before. She turns to face him and realizes there is no going back and even if she could, she wouldn't want to. She reaches out to caress a bicep as she inches closer to him.
They wrap their arms around each other as their bodies meet, hands roaming, grabbing, squeezing. He drops his lips to her shoulder, kissing his way up her neck to her cheek and finally claiming her lips in a salacious, ravenous kiss.
He had just pulled his t-shirt over his head when a small scream pierces the air. They both freeze, then scramble out of bed to rush to the boys' room. They find Carl hovering over Andre, trying to wake him up as the younger boy seems to be in the throes of a nightmare.
Michonne moves in cautiously and shakes her son awake, calling his name.
Andre wakes up with a gasp then clings to his Mom. "He was gonna get me and take me to be with Daddy."
"It's ok. It was just a bad dream. That's all. It wasn't real," she assures him.
"It was the bad man. The Governor. He wanted to kill me like he wanted to kill you. He said he could take me to my Daddy," Andre shares as tears start to roll down his cheeks. "I…I miss my Daddy."
"I know you do, sweetheart. It's ok."
"I…miss….Daddy but I don't…want to….leave you….and Carl and Rick. I want to stay here with you," Andre sobs.
"No one's gonna take you away. You're fine. I promise."
"I won't let anything happen to you and neither will my Dad or your Mom. You're safe, Andre. You're safe," Carl reiterates.
Andre calms down but asks his Mom to stay. Carl returns to his bed as Rick exits the room and closes the door. For the next hour, Michonne holds her baby boy and rocks him back to sleep, glancing over at a slumbering Carl and thinking of Rick alone in their bed in the next room. She tells herself to remain with her son, the excitement and fear of returning to Rick's side rolling through her body, keeping her awake. She tries to dislodge her son from her arms but he stirs and snuggles even closer to her. She sighs and decides to wait a bit longer before leaving.
The next thing she knows, the boys are stirring awake and light from the morning sun is filtering into the room. She groans as she realizes she fell asleep. She quells down the disappointment and thinks maybe it didn't happen because they need to be better prepared for it. She's not on anything to prevent a pregnancy, so they'd better have that conversation before they go any further. She smiles as the boys are now fully awake and ready to start the day.
A couple of hours later, she is with Rick, Tyreese, and Sasha as usual. They are finalizing plans to take inventory of the Governor's apartment. Rick was reluctant to do it as he didn't want to be reminded of Michonne's ordeal in that place and he most certainly didn't want to subject her to anything unwelcome. Sasha was the one who thought it would be therapeutic for her, so the two women start in that direction. Rick and Tyreese promise to catch up to them shortly.
The two friends are laughing and talking quietly as they enter the apartment. They make their way to the bedroom as that is where most of the loot was stored and come up short as they witness a completely nude Dawn in the middle of the bed. Michonne was preparing herself for some unwanted emotions to resurface but that is all put on the back burner as she never expected to see what she is clearly witnessing at the moment.
Dawn grabs the sheet to cover herself and asks, "Where's Rick?"
Michonne frowns, completely taken aback by the question. "Excuse me?"
"Rick was supposed to be here, not you," Dawn relays.
"And just how would you know that?" Michonne takes a deep breath as Sasha tells Dawn she should get dressed and leave. "Are you spying on him or something?" In that moment, Michonne realizes that Dawn could be dangerous or just dangerously unstable.
"Listen, I'm not sure what kind of arrangement you had with the Governor and frankly, I don't care. Just know this…..you won't be having the same kind of arrangement with Rick Grimes. He's married…to me. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be." Michonne looks directly at Dawn to ensure she is understood.
"Are you threatening me? Are you gonna kill me like you did the Governor?" Dawn taunts.
Michonne decides not to grant her an answer but the temptation to reach for her sword is strong. "Stay away from him. I won't repeat myself."
Dawn grabs her dress and pulls it on quickly, stepping into her shoes. She exits the apartment just as Tyreese and Rick are entering it. "You should tell your wife she shouldn't go around threatening people. It might give the wrong impression." She flounces off in a huff.
"What was that all about?" Rick asks.
"You don't even want to know," Michonne answers.
Later that day, Michonne is making her way to the school to walk with Carl and Andre. She has decided they will meet Sasha at the firing range to get in some practice. Rick had talked to her earlier about the boys learning to use guns and she wasn't sold on the idea at first but this is what the new world dictates so she gave in. She waits outside patiently, watching as the small group of kids thins out until no kids are exiting the building. She moves inside and locates Mrs. Carson, looking around for Carl and Andre.
"Hi. I was looking for Carl and Andre."
"Hi there. Oh, it was the strangest thing. Right after our snack, both of them started falling asleep. We just assumed they'd had a restless night or something so Dawn said she'd see them home. She also said she'd stop by and let you or Rick know. I guess this means she forgot. I do apologize, Mrs. Grimes," Mrs. Carson relays.
Michonne gives her an understanding smile. "It's fine. Thank you. We'll see you in the morning." She leaves and walks directly to their apartment, confused about the boys falling asleep. She concludes that their sleep being interrupted last night must have been the culprit. She enters the apartment, calling their names but their home is quiet and still. She looks around the living area, then the kitchen searching for their small drawstring school bags. She opens the door to their room, noticing that their beds are still made and nothing seems out of place.
She leaves the apartment and goes in search of Rick. Maybe they're with him. On the way to the office he had started using, she asks anyone she encounters if they have seen Carl and Andre. Everyone answers in the negative and she tries to control the slight panic that starts to roll in the pit of her stomach. They always know where their boys are. She walks into the office and looks around anxiously.
Rick smiles then grows serious as he takes in Michonne's demeanor. "Everything alright?"
"Are the boys here? I went to walk with them after school and Mrs. Carson said they fell asleep so Dawn took them home. I went to the apartment and they aren't there. If they aren't there and they aren't here with you, then where are they?" She gnaws at her bottom lip anxiously.
Rick grabs his keys and leads her toward the door with his hand at the small of her back. "Come on. We'll check the park first. Maybe they're there with some friends."
They search the entire community and do not find Carl and Andre. By now, Michonne is in full panic mode. They race to the front gates and ask Mr. Charles and Noah who are on watch duty if anyone was seen leaving, on foot or in a vehicle.
"Dawn and Martinez drove out of here about an hour ago," Mr. Charles informs.
Rick fires off question after question, finding it odd that Dawn and Martinez would be on an unspecified run especially for school supplies. He quickly makes plans for him and Tyreese to go after them.
"I'm coming too," Michonne states.
"I'd feel better if you stayed here just in case they show up," Rick tells her.
"Rick I can't stay here twiddling my thumbs wondering what's happening," Michonne returns. "I'm coming with you."
He sighs but doesn't argue as he and Tyreese move off to gather up weapons and supplies. She was about to seek out Sasha when she sees her friend dragging Bob Stookey towards her.
Sasha pushes Bob in front of her and commands, "Tell her."
Bob drops his eyes to the ground. "It…it was Dawn. She asked me for some sleeping pills…so she could take your boys and…"
Michonne grabs handfuls of Bob's shirt and demands, "Take them?! Take them where?!"
"She….and….Martinez…..they said they'd get even….with you and….Rick. I…I didn't want any…part in it. I couldn't hurt…anybody's kids. Martinez….he threatened to….kill me if….I didn't get….the pills," Bob admits.
Michonne drops her hands to her sides, then grabs her head anxiously. "Did they say where they were going to take them?" She tries to keep it together but if something were to happen to Andre…to Carl. She clutches at her stomach, feeling sick.
Rick and Tyreese return and she turns to face him.
"It was Dawn. She took our boys."
A/N: Yes, I know but I'll be back with another update extremely soon. I promise.