HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! ;3

Warning:
Serving some lemon, lime, and bitters this chapter~! xD But if you don't know what that means, you're too young to be on this site. [1]

"Raison D'être"

Chapter 07: Heart-Catching.

Todoroki was well on his way to falling asleep when he heard the turning of his doorknob, he pretended to remain asleep. The door slowly opened and quietly closed, he heard the sure turning of his lock this time. Then, the muffled footsteps and the gentle dipping of his futon. There was only one person in the world who would dare snuggle up to him in his sleep. Albeit, it wasn't unwelcome.

"Bocchan," Midoriya was whispering. "Bocchan?"

Todoroki refused to wake up.

The other boy huffed, and he could just imagine him pouting.

He felt the lifting of his comforter, Midoriya was surely shuffling inside. Then he felt it, the slight hugging of one arm. He opened his eyes this time, and sure enough his charge was close by.

Todoroki stared. Midoriya had his eyes closed but he knew he wasn't asleep yet. And he was sure, Midoriya knew he wasn't asleep either. This happened before, whenever they would have their fights. They would quietly crawl back to sleep together, pretending nothing happened. Sometimes they talked about it the next day, whenever the fight was about Midoriya's quirklessness though, they don't.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" Todoroki starts, his voice a little hoarse. "Izuku?"

Midoriya opened his eyes and the bi-haired kid truly missed the sight. Well, his favorite color had always been green. And those eyes were always the most beautiful in the world, he would do anything to keep them on him.

"I wouldn't be here if I was." Midoriya finally answered, breaking Todoroki out of his own mind. "Besides, you already apologized anyway. And it's not like I didn't understand what you were trying to say."

"Sorry." Todoroki says despite being unnecessary.

Midoriya shakes his head, smiling softly. "It's okay, it was my fault too. Sorry."

Then it was Todoroki's turn to shake his head, but he didn't say anything.

"Also... I'm sorry for always hurting your feelings." Midoriya continued. "I know I've said it before, but..."

"You like doing that."

"Well, you hurt my feelings too, plenty."

Todoroki didn't reply anymore, but he had a soft smile on his face.

Midoriya didn't say anything for a while either. They've talked about it before.

So they just stared, getting lost in the pools of their favorite colors. And just when Todoroki was starting to fall back asleep, Midoriya surged forward and kissed him.

Todoroki was suddenly very awake and wide-eyed. Midoriya chuckled and then kissed him again, longer this time, long enough for Todoroki to close his eyes and kiss him back. Midoriya beamed at him when they pulled back, and Todoroki could see himself reflected in those eyes.

"I love you," Todoroki blurts out.

Midoriya smiled gently, cheeks turning a little pink. "I love you too, Bocchan."

Todoroki could cry.

But instead he surges forward and takes the green-haired teen in his arms, hugging him as tight as he could, not wanting to let go again. Midoriya returns the hug just as tight, and they stay like that for another while.

Until Midoriya starts squirming and pushes back a little. "Bocchan, you're poking me..." His face was a lot redder now.

It was too late when Todoroki realized it, he was hard. "Sorry," he shuffles back.

Midoriya shakes his head, biting his bottom lip before reaching in between them, towards Todoroki's crotch.

"Izuku!" Todoroki jolts, but the green-haired teen was already palming him. He shrinks back, but Midoriya follows.

"It's fine, isn't it?" Midoriya slips a hand inside his Bocchan's boxers. And he starts pumping him, slowly at first then gradually quickens his pace.

"Ngghhh," Todoroki mewled. The moment Midoriya touched him, he lost all forms of coherent thought. Now he could only breathe shallow and hard. He knew Midoriya was watching his face, but there's really nothing he can do about the shameful expressions he's making. Besides, Midoriya was the one who started it. And being called crazy for the guy was an understatement.

It didn't take long and Todoroki cums with a grunt, instantly becoming boneless.

Midoriya sits up and wipes his hand on the sheets, they'll just change them later. "Did that feel good?" He tilts his head.

Todoroki blushes, but nods his head.

Midoriya was about to get up, but Todoroki pulls him back. "Wait, your turn."

"Eh? No, you don't have to!" Midoriya squirms but his Bocchan manages to grab him from behind, and sure enough, the green-haired teen was hard. "Bocchan..."

"Just let me return the favor... You said it was fine, wasn't it?" Todoroki smiled slyly, Midoriya finally relenting.

If Todoroki had been fast, Midoriya came faster, so he felt satisfied with himself. Except now he was hard again, watching his charge keen and cum was a real turn-on. He vaguely wonders how far they could go, mindlessly collecting the cum and reaching behind the green-haired teen.

Midoriya was still coming down from his orgasm when he felt the sure poking of his anus. "Bocchan?"

"Sorry," Todoroki grunted but didn't stop, "just let me try something."

"Mmmhh," Midoriya whined, but tried to get comfortable.

Todoroki has an idea how it works, he was just trying to figure out the way to go about it. After all, he didn't want to hurt Midoriya of all things. So he continues to poke and feel around until he already has two fingers in.

"Hyahh!" Midoriya suddenly jolts, and looks back at him. "Wha-what was that?"

Todoroki blushes and looks away briefly, before mumbling "you're pleasure spot..." He was going to die of embarrassment if he ever had to admit he had been looking for Midoriya's prostate.

"What?" Midoriya asked breathless.

"Guys have something like that..."

"Oh..."

"Do you want me to continue?" Todoroki asks to make sure.

Midoriya blushes, but nods, before turning back again.

Todoroki works him to the third finger, and when he was sure he would be able to press on Midoriya's prostate whenever he likes, he pulls the fingers out. "Midoriya, are you ready?" It was really embarrassing to say it, but he wanted a verbal consent. "I'm going to make love to you, okay?"

Midoriya rolls over and lies on his back, he stares hard on him, nodding slowly then vigorously before tightly closing his eyes. "Okay."

Todoroki bites his lower lip and nods to himself, before crawling on top of Midoriya and positioning himself. He aligns his dick on the asshole and pushes in slowly.

"Ouch..." Midoriya whines, tears instantly forming at the corners of his eyes.

Todoroki stops, he's only got the head in. "Do you want me to pull out?"

Midoriya shakes his head, "no, keep going."

Todoroki takes a deep breath, and thinks of a way to make it hurt less.

Midoriya suddenly jolts, opening his eyes to look at his Bocchan in disbelief. "Are you using your quirk?! On your dick?!"

Todoroki nods, blushing a little, "does it help?"

Midoriya laughs breathless at the silliness of the situation, "yeah... it's soothing."

Todoroki then continues and manages to push through to the hilt. Midoriya hugs his neck.

"I can't believe we're really doing this." The green-haired teen gasps in his ear.

"Yeah, are you okay?" Todoroki asks one last time.

"Yeah..."

And with that Todoroki pulls back and thrusts.

Todoroki wakes up in a jolt. It was a dream, of course it was. He should've known it was all too good to be true.

He sits up and sure enough, there was a tent in his boxers. He sighs forlornly, beating himself up in his head before shoving his left hand inside his underwear. He was just going to get rid of it and then take a shower. The dream was still too vivid and felt so real, like if he closed his eyes he would see Midoriya tattooed at the back of his eyelids.

It wasn't the first time he had dreamt of Izuku, during that whole month he was missing he dreamt about nothing but him, so much that he just wanted to sleep all the time. After they were reunited though, the dreams started becoming perverted. He was really ashamed, but there was nothing he could do, it just happened. And every time he would look at Midoriya he felt guilty, but exactly how was he supposed to apologize for something like this? He would die if his charge ever found out he was jerking off to him.

It was actually kind of a good thing the Sports Festival happened, it distracted him from his dreams because he was so worried about Midoriya. And their fight gave him an excuse to keep some distance, which helped calm him down to an extent. It was a good thing, he repeats in his head, because Midoriya wasn't here in his room right now.

"Bocchan!" Midoriya suddenly burst into his room.

Or maybe not.

Todoroki had never felt himself move faster to cover his indecency before, grabbing the comforter and shoving it on his crotch. "Izuku..."

He took notice of Midoriya's face slowly getting red as they stared back at each other for a few painfully slow and the worst seconds of his life.

"I'm sorry!" Midoriya turned to his back and slammed the door closed.

Except he was still inside.

"Izuku, please get out." Todoroki tried to keep his voice even, but he knew his face was as red as half of his hair right now, if not worse.

"Bu-but, I have something important to tell you..." Izuku's voice came out quiet and shy, but stubborn.

"Now is probably not the best time,"

"But! If not now, then I'll probably chicken out!"

"It's fine, Izuku... just get out." Todoroki activates his ice quirk to cool himself. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say tomorrow or something."

"No," Izuku turns back to look at him, pouting. "I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here, and we're going to sleep together."

Really, he was stubborn over the silliest things.

Todoroki grinds his teeth. "Izuku, I'm sure you realize what I was doing. Please, save the both of us from this humiliation. Get. Out."

"No! I came here to answer your confession and I will say it now!"

"IZUKU!" Todoroki shouted in a whisper. He sounded mad. "I HAVE MY HAND WRAPPED AROUND MY DICK! GET OUT!"

Midoriya finally took a step back, this was the first time his Bocchan ever yelled at him and that was shocking. But still, he didn't get out. He looked away sheepishly, "I don't mind... Bocchan can do whatever he likes, this is your room."

"Izuku, let me spell it out for you." Todoroki glared. "I'M JERKING OFF TO YOU! GET OUT!"

Midoriya flinches but doesn't make any move to leave. "That's... okay." His freckled face starts getting red again as the message slowly sunk in. "Because I like Bocchan."

Todoroki covers his face with his right hand, this was not how he imagined they would be getting together. He was hoping for something more romantic than being in the middle of his masturbation. Really, he did not want to look back at how they came to be and remember this.

Also, he was still hard. Fucking die already, you stupid boner!

He sighs, he wasn't sure if this was the worse day of his life, or the best. "Izuku, can't you just let me finish, and maybe we can talk about this?"

Midoriya blinks at him, glances down at his crotch before staring him in the eyes again. They both start blushing again.

"Do you..." the green-haired teen visibly hesitates, but pushes on. "Do you want me to help?"

Todoroki could not believe his luck, or lack thereof, whichever. His charge cannot be seriously asking him such a question while giving him the puppy eyes, right? This was not going to be like his dream, right? He was not asking what he thinks he wants him to do, right?

"Izuku... I want you to leave."

Midoriya frowns. "But why? I already told you I liked you..."

"Izuku-"

"And I'm tired of being awkward! And I miss you, Bocchan! And I'm staying right here!" Izuku took his turn to yell, stomping a foot down like a child with a tantrum.

Todoroki sighs deeply then, there was really no winning against his charge. And Midoriya sounds like he was going to start with the waterworks again. "Fine, stay... but turn around so I can go to the bathroom and clean up first."

"I've seen you naked plenty of times, Bocchan. We even took baths together."

"This is different!" Todoroki's ears were burning, hopefully not literally.

Then it was Midoriya's turn to heave a deep sigh, as if he was placating a child. The nerve.

"Yeah, it most definitely is not," he says before he starts walking towards his Bocchan.

"What are you doing? Don't come here! Get away! Stay back! Izuku!"

Midoriya crawls into his futon and sits in front of him, before slowly reaching out to grab the comforter on Todoroki's lap.

"Izuku, please don't do this," Todoroki kept his head down, he couldn't look him in the eyes anymore.

"Why not? What are you so scared of? It's just me," Midoriya tried peaking at his Bocchan's expression but he couldn't see through all the bangs. So he held Todoroki's face on both hands and raised it to meet his gaze. "Bocchan, it's okay... because we both like each other."

"Izuku, are you sure about this?"

Midoriya's eyes soften, smiling with a blush before finally kissing him. And Todoroki loses again. Really, he could just never win.

Todoroki reaches around him with his right hand, and pulls him closer. Midoriya allows himself to be pulled, sliding onto his Bocchan's lap. Their lips never leaving each other's. And as they allowed themselves to get carried away, licking each other's tongue and swallowing each other's breaths, it was Midoriya's turn to get hard.

The green-haired teen suddenly straightens up on his knees, before pushing his pants down and exposing himself. Todoroki responds by pulling the bed sheets away and revealing himself too. Midoriya sits back down on his lap and they rub themselves against each other, each giving the other a hand. They were both red, breathless, and delirious.

Todoroki vaguely thinks he must be dreaming again, none of this could possibly be true. But he would take whatever he could get, until he has to wake up again.

When Todoroki does wake up the next day though, Midoriya was sleeping naked beside him.

Midoriya opens his eyes to the light coming through the curtains, it was morning. He stretches and yawns, and jolts up all of a sudden when he remembers everything that happened last night. He looks around, but Todoroki was nowhere to be found. His shoulders drop, did his Bocchan really leave him? He was hoping for a more romantic morning filled with hugs and kisses, and snuggles and giggles. Or maybe just a clear conversation so they would know where to go from here.

He hurries to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and wash his face. He changed his clothes as fast as he can, and bolted out the door. Luckily for him, he manages to catch up with Todoroki on the path to school, cherry blossoms and all.

"Bocchan!" He yells without hesitation, running up to the bi-haired boy. "I can't believe you left me! How could you?!"

Todoroki stop and slowly turns back to look at him. There's something different in those bi-colored eyes, like something's changed. And Midoriya feels that whatever it was, he's not going to like it. Then his Bocchan smiles gently at him, and for a moment he's relieved.

"Izuku," Todoroki called him over. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"So mean! What if I woke up late? I wouldn't be able to go to class."

"It's still early though, I set your alarm."

"Even so!"

They then walked side-by-side in silence, until Midoriya couldn't stand it anymore.

"Are we not going to talk about it?"

Todoroki stops walking, and heaves a deep breath before facing him. "Izuku... for now, let's just go back to how we were before."

Midoriya releases a breath he didn't know he was holding, "what?"

"I think it would be good, if we had more time to think about it first." Todoroki looks away.

"What's left to think about? We hadn't talked in three days!"

"Izuku, you realize we've crossed the line somewhere last night, don't you?"

"So, how can we go back to how we were before?! We can't anymore, Bocchan!"

"Stop calling me, Bocchan!" Todoroki suddenly shouts, catching himself and he sighs, pulling on his hair. "You know, all this time I made myself believe you were mine. But you aren't, Izuku. You never were... the truth was that, I was yours." [2]

Midoriya didn't know what to say to that, he didn't even understand why Todoroki was saying all this.

"From now on, I'm not your Bocchan anymore, and you're not my charge." Todoroki looks him in the eyes. "You are your own person now, Izuku. You're free."

Midoriya tears up, "what does that mean? I don't undestand..."

Todoroki holds him by the shoulders, "I want us to start anew. Without obligations, without feeling indebted, without conditions." Without unfinished businesses, without complications. Todoroki continues inside his head.

"Does this mean we're breaking up? But I thought we just got together..."

"No, we didn't, Izuku. I'm sorry." Todoroki turns to leave.

"But why?" Midoriya's tears fall then.

Todoroki doesn't answer, he just walks away and doesn't look back.

Todoroki had been thinking about it since he woke up, about whether Midoriya really liked him or not. What if he was just saying that because he was his "Bocchan", because he felt indebted or obligated to return his feelings. Or worse, because he felt sorry for him. Todoroki didn't ask to have his feelings returned, he just wanted to express them at the time, because he felt that was the only way Midoriya would understand why he was so worried. He just wanted Midoriya to take care of himself, to be careful and take it slow. He wanted Midoriya to stop pushing himself too hard, breaking his bones, and getting hurt. Even if it wasn't for Midoriya's own sake, it was for Todoroki's peace of mind and mental health. He just couldn't stand it, helplessly watching and not being able to do anything.

But if Midoriya really did like him, then they can start again, right?

Todoroki knew they always had a somewhat dysfunctional relationship. Midoriya was never meant to be anything more than a companion, and someone his father could use as a reward and punishment at the same time. But now he was his everything, and more, far more than what he ever wanted him to be. And it was scary. He was afraid of how much he loved Midoriya, and he didn't know what he would do to have him. He didn't like the fact that he wanted more than what he knew Midoriya was prepared and capable of giving. And he just knows he would never have enough. But he didn't want to monopolize him, and he knew he could, because he was the "Bocchan". And that was why he had to relinquish that ownership. He just loved him so much.

When Midoriya kissed him last night he realized it. He was going to be trapped, suffocated, and drowned. Midoriya was intoxicating, addicting, and poisoning. Todoroki was losing the tiniest semblance of self-control and self-awareness he had left. He knew he went out of his mind and almost died that one month Midoriya was missing, he practically wanted to. But when Midoriya kissed him last night, he felt genuine fear for his life for the very first time. Midoriya was going to be the death of him. These feelings were going to kill him. And the worse part of it all was that, he would want them to, that he'd be happy about it.

He vaguely wondered how Midoriya would react if he finds out about these kinds of feelings. They're not pure at all. Would he be repulsed, scared, appalled? Could he be happy, return these feelings, and feel the same?

Midoriya probably doesn't feel this strongly about him as he does.

So it was a good thing they had the 'On-The-Job Training' this week, which means they would be kept away from each other for at least another few days.

Or not.

Todoroki belatedly regrets it when he sees Midoriya lying injured on the ground in the middle of a dark alley with the Hero Killer: Stain hovering over him. It was at this point he remembered his greatest fear. He could lose Midoriya.

Todoroki burst in an explosion of raging fire, a flaming tornado chasing the villain away. Then he used ice to secure Midoriya and the native pro hero. He tried to fend off the Hero Killer as much as he can by himself until Midoriya was able to move again.

It wasn't the first time they were standing together against a strong enemy, they fought his father together all the time. But like this, he just feels so nostalgic. Midoriya was a constant source of comfort by his side.

This love isn't wrong.

They manage to fend off the Hero Killer and Iida was able to move just in time to help them defeat him. They tied him up and made their way to the open road when they met up with the hero back-up, who all started fussing over them and their injuries.

Honestly, Todoroki was so relieved. He made it just in time to save Midoriya, if he didn't make it he didn't want to know what could've happened. Still he knew, next time they might not be so lucky. And as if to prove his point, it was at that moment when a flying Noumu swooped down and snatched Midoriya. He was so shocked, he wasn't even able to react. He just watched him get carried away.

Then suddenly, the Hero Killer was slashing through the abomination, saving Midoriya and killing the monster.

And as much as Todoroki wanted to run to Izuku's side, the raw killing intent of the Hero Killer kept him where he stood. Todoroki always knew to pick his battles, he recognizes power and acknowledges when people are stronger than him, that was how he was able to survive this long under the roof of his father. Todoroki knew fear, from his father, for himself, and for Midoriya. But this was on a whole new level. This man was a cold-blooded murderer.

Stain fainted immediately after his monologue of fake heroes and All Might. And it was only then Todoroki was able to move to Midoriya's side.

Midoriya woke up the next day in the hospital. He was currently all alone, but judging from the other two beds, he was probably put in the same room as Iida and his Bocchan. Wait, he was not allowed to call him his "Bocchan" anymore. So what does he call him?

As if summoned by his thoughts, the door suddenly opened to reveal his Bocchan carrying a tray of food.

"Izuku, you're awake," Todoroki greeted him as if they didn't have an argument the last time they spoke. "Are you hungry?"

Midoriya doesn't wait for his stomach to growl, he shyly nods his head.

Todoroki sits on the side of his bed and sets the tray on his lap. He brought waffles and fruits, with a tall glass of orange juice and what looks like his meds.

"Are these mine?" Midoriya had to ask, peering up at his Bocchan.

"Yeah, I already ate." Todoroki wore that usual slight-upturn-of-his-lips he calls a smile, looking content and happy for some reason Midoriya isn't sure he wants to understand, but puts him at ease nonetheless.

"Tha-thank you..." He trails off with a slight smile that feels more like a grimace, unsure.

Midoriya knew they always had a somewhat undefinable relationship, but it wasn't a recent development. Even when they were children, he always found it hard to figure out where to stand. Somewhere behind his Bocchan usually, or anywhere that keeps him within a barrier in front of Uncle Enji. At least, that's what his Bocchan always said. But even then, his position in his Bocchan's life had always been obscure and blurry. So he just listens most of the time.

But he can't keep just listening anymore, his Bocchan said so himself that he wasn't his "Bocchan" anymore. And although, that technically is listening, he needs to stop thinking and using that word.

Midoriya swallows a piece of fruit he was chewing on. "What should I call you from now on?"

Todoroki blinks at him, and looks away. "You can call me Nii-san, if you want." He looks like he really didn't want to be called that. "You call Nee-san, "Nee-chan" don't you?"

"That's because she asked me to," Midoriya starts, reminding himself of Bakugou's words. "But you've always been more than a brother to me... even before the recent developments." He couldn't help blushing at the memory.

"Then you can call me by my name," Todoroki states plainly.

Midoriya presses his lips together, "but that's also your hero name. You wanted people to know your name because they're always calling you Endeavor's son." He finishes with a slight frown.

"Just try it for now, let's see how it works." Todoroki stares at him for a while. "I call you by your name, don't I?"

Midoriya huffs, for some reason saying his Bocchan's name was making him nervous. "Sho-Shou..." He trails off red-faced, embarrassed at the awkwardness even though they've know each other for so long and it's just his Bocchan's name.

"Shou-" he tries again but stops himself, he doesn't want to finish it. He wants to call his Bocchan something different, something special, something only he could say. "Shouto, Shou-kun, Shoucchan, Shou... The last one sounds like a pet name." Midoriya blushed once he realized what he said.

"It's fine, isn't it? Izu?" Todoroki smiles at him, obviously teasing and suddenly they're both blushing.

"That sounds like something we can't say in public," Midoriya hides his face in his palms and groans. Then he suddenly straightens up and declares. "I'm gonna call you Shoucchan! It's cutesy and rhymes with Bocchan, so that's fine already." Then he blushes and mumbles, "but in private times I might cut it."

"Private times?" Todoroki was blushing but he was still trying to play coy.

"Shut up, Shoucchan. You broke up with me," Midoriya looks away then, and regrets it.

Suddenly, Todoroki wasn't blushing and his smile was gone. He inches closer and hugs Midoriya. "I'm sorry, Izuku. I just wanted to make sure you really liked me."

"That should be my line," Midoriya pulls away enough to look him in the eyes. "I can't live without you, but you can throw me away whenever you want. It's not like you really need me. And if Uncle Enji had brought home someone else home, you would've fallen in love with them just the same."

"No, I wouldn't have." Todoroki stated sternly. "I fell in love because it was you, I wouldn't fall just for anyone."

"How would I know?" Midoriya questioned in mock hurt.

Todoroki bumps their foreheads together and stays there. "I would let you know, all the time and every day." He kisses him then, for a long second. "I love you, Izuku. I'm in love with you, just you."

"Are you sure now? That I like you too? And we'll stay together forever?" Midoriya's eyes were pleading, but they also believed, hoping and trusting.

"No," Todoroki smiles sadly but there was a different light in his eyes now. "But I'm crazy about you so I'll stay by your side no matter what, always."

"I guess, I'll just have to let you know too then." Midoriya repeats the same answer that was given to him, smiles playfully and kisses him. "I love you too, Shouto. I really do, more than anything, more than you'll ever know."

"I love you more than you could ever love me back," Todoroki replies and suddenly it was a challenge.

Midoriya looked incredulous. "I love you more than you could ever hope to be loved."

"I love-"

Todoroki was interrupted by the loud slamming of the door, revealing Bakugou, Iida, Uraraka and their other classmates, all of which a bit red-faced. "Are you two done professing your undying love for each other yet? We've been waiting out here for twenty minutes now!"

The End.

For now! I don't know if I'll write a continuation or a sequel yet. Because it will probably be just porn from here. xD

Also, I have a Twitter now! Please follow me at Fate_Camiswhil thank you! ;3

Fic Facts:

1.) Lemon (hardcore); Lime (softcore); Bitters (wet dreams) xD
- Also, I know they're too young in canon, but in reality 15 is about that age when boys start exploring so...
- And I don't get how people are always writing about the ever-reliable condoms all the time. Like, I know it makes entering easier and I'm sure guys in real life would always be prepared, but I can't really say the same for these kinds of characters and with the kinds of personalities they have. So we're going in raw. #CumAsLube

2.) Remember when Todoroki was a kid and he always called Midoriya "mine"? It was for this moment. I planned it all along. xDDD

— Lynx
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