Chapter 18 | Misaki Ayuzawa

The water felt warm and pleasant against her skin as it trickled down her back. Misaki ran a hand through her hair as she stood under the shower. She picked up the shampoo bottle as she continued to enjoy the bath. What caught her attention as she applied shampoo on her scalp was the strands of hair that came out and wrapped themselves around her fingers as she continued to massage her hair as the shampoo lathered up.

She frowned, the amount of hair fall she went through in a bath was more than what she would shed in an entire week. Maybe the shampoo wasn't suitable for hair…

But the shampoo used to be just fine before…before…

She paused her thoughts right away. She didn't need so much negativity in her life this early in the morning. She ignored the hair strands and washed her long, and thin hair hurriedly as she rushed out of the bathroom upon realizing what the time was.

"Oh Misaki! You're shining today. Why don't you go to the consultation room and the doctor will join you shortly." Nurse Hitoshi said in her ever-so-cheerful voice as soon as she noticed Misaki standing inside the chambers.

"Sure, thanks…" came a mumble from Misaki's side as the girl got out of the chambers and headed down the hallway where the consultation room was located.

She twisted the doorknob of the first door that she encountered in the hallway and went inside, absentmindedly. She regretted that immediately though…

"Mother…no! You can't keep fighting any further…" A girl sobbed as she held on to the hand of a woman lying unconscious on the bed. A set of few people was standing at the back with their heads bowed down. Misaki soon realized that they were the family and friends…

Misaki couldn't take her eyes away from the woman lying down on the bed. Her eyelids had been open, as if they refused to shut themselves…her eyes were blood red, as if the blood would come right out if they were to blink. Her frame had been reduced to nothing but a skeleton—a frame of what was once. Her neck had been turned to the side and the woman could only move her fingers as a sign of communication.

"All of her organs have stopped functioning, except for her heart." A person murmured as tears streamed down their face, "She is a warrior."

"Mother! Stop fighting it already! I can't…I can't see you like this anymore!" The girl screamed as shouted as she held on to the woman's hand on tight. There wasn't an end to the tears…they just continued to stream down relentlessly.

It was like Misaki had been glued to the Earth as she witnessed all this. The woman's husband looked broken, her children cried and the others could only support each other in the pain that they all were going through.

"She moved!" One remarked, the girl who had been sobbing froze as she looked at her mother's face hopefully.

The woman started exhaling air through her nostrils with struggle. She didn't inhale, but she kept exhaling.

"She's leaving us…" another cried.

And it was like time froze as the woman used one last ounce of her strength to tilt her neck and look at everyone present in the room. A broken smile overcame her face and it was almost like she was okay again, until she exhaled one last breath and with it came out hot tears, and she passed away.

The entire room fell silent and the girl froze as everyone started to cry. Through this chaos, the girl cried, "Dear god, please take care of my mother." She whispered as she began to cry inconsolably, "At least she's free of the pain now…at least she's going to a better place…" And the sobs intensified.

All this was a sight too much to handle for Misaki, she made a point of getting out of the room before anyone could spot her. Even if she didn't get out, she was sure that nobody would have witnessed her anyway… But she couldn't bear to watch all of the grief, and pain. It was like someone drew a knife through her heart. She leaned against the wall as she looked at the ceiling with a dry throat.

Was she going to put her family through that much pain when she…

Her legs trembled at the thought. She didn't want anyone to go through such a pain. The scene was imprinted in her memory. She wanted to engulf that girl in a hug, tell her that everything was going to be okay or throw any similar excuse just so that she would stop crying. But she couldn't.

Ayuzawa Misaki had never felt so helpless before in her entire life.

"Oh Misaki, is everything alright?" Dr. Ayame, who had been walking down the hallway, had spotted Misaki, "Are you in any kind of pain? Did something happen?"

"No. Not at all" Misaki said as she decided to put up a front and walked behind Ayame, "I just saw something I shouldn't have,"

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ayame understood what Misaki had meant. They were standing in a hospital, it was common to witness some incidences that would cause a lot of emotional damage. But Ayame had gotten over them with time.

Deep in her heart, Misaki prayed for that woman, and her family. She prayed that both of them find peace. Ayame opened the door of the consultation room and Misaki silently followed as the realization of her disease started to dawn upon her.

Misaki tried to control her tears as another syringe was plunged into her vein. She closed her eyes in hopes of feeling less pain. It stung a little but wasn't as stingy as the last one. She took a deep breath and looked at nurse Hitoshi who was busy taking her sample. She had been given some medicines using IV. Hospitals freaked her out. She sighed, it was going to take a lot of work on her part to get used to this. She looked at her watch, she had been here for four fucking hours. When were they letting her off? She didn't feel like staying here anymore.

"Okay, lie down here" Nurse Hitoshi instructed her to lie down on the bed, Misaki followed suit. She adjusted her skirt that was pushed up as she laid on the bed. She made the wrong decision of wearing a skirt. She was told to raise her right arm upwards to help the blood flow. Nurse Hitoshi checked her vitals—her blood count was as low as before. Her pulse was rather erratic. Misaki looked at her wrist watch, she wanted to get out of the clinic. She was bored and scared.

"Okay, do you think you can get up? I need to check your weight" Nurse Hitoshi asked.

Misaki looked at her, of course she could get up, she did nothing but lie down for the last four hours!

"Yeah" Misaki sat up, as she tried to stand up, she felt weakness hit her. Everything started to spin around her, Nurse Hitoshi quickly grabbed her arm and supported her.

"Easy there. Lie back down" Nurse Hitoshi helped get lay down. Misaki started to see black spots, why was she feeling so weak?

"It's normal" Nurse Hitoshi reassured her as she saw Misaki's discomfort, "Since you had so much blood taken out, you'll feel dizzy. Considering the fact that you already have a low blood count, it may be worse for you" Misaki saw Nurse Hitoshi going out of her room and everything blurred.

Misaki woke up sometime later. She sat up in hopes of standing, and failed miserably. She took the glass of water which was placed near her bed. She drank the water and supported her back against the wall. She looked around and saw Dr. Ayame sitting nearby.

"Good thing you're up" Dr. Ayame smiled.

Misaki smiled awkwardly, "Yeah. Sorry, everything started spinning" Misaki managed a small laugh.

"It's okay. It happens, now, you weakness may prevail if you don't start eating healthy. I have prepared a balanced diet chart for you along with a few medicines. Be sure to take them on time. You're free to go. Is there someone who'll be taking you home?"

"That will be me" Tora Igarashi entered inside the room, startling both the Doctor and Misaki in the process.

"Alright. Have a good evening. Misaki, call me up if something happens. Let's hope it doesn't." Dr. Ayame laughed and stepped out of the room.

Misaki gave Tora a big smile, "You're back!"

"Yup" Tora smiled back as he ruffled her hair. Misaki stood up holding the edge of the bed for support. Tora gave her his hand and she took it with a smile.

"Ready?" Tora asked as Misaki got ready after picking up her things.

"Yup" she grinned.

Tora gave her a small hug. Misaki couldn't help but be happy. Her friend was back. He looked much better now as compared to the last time she had seen him. He had looked awful.

They stepped outside, it was almost dawn. Misaki frowned, her entire day was a waste. Tora took her car keys and started the car. She got inside and they both drove home.

"So, how was the trip?" Misaki asked. He looked in a better condition than before.

"Awesome, I even got time to rest" Tora grinned.

Misaki laughed, "That's great"

"What about you? Enjoyed work?" Tora snickered.

Misaki smacked his head, "Baka! How did Usui land up in Japan?! It can't be a coincidence! What all are you hiding from me?"

"Me? Hide from you? Never" Tora gave her a toothy grin, "I didn't know too, Dad told me during the gala" he smirked.

"Liar" Misaki looked away and got silent as she looked out.

"Thanks for coming to get me. You should get some rest" Misaki said as she passed Tora a glass of juice. He stood leaning against her kitchen counter.

"It's nothing" Tora muttered as he drank his juice.

"So how was Spain?"

"Oh it was good, I didn't get much time for sightseeing though"

"Better luck next time" Misaki muttered as she took a bite from her pizza slice.

"Well, I better get going, got some work to do" Tora said as he looked in his phone.

"But you just got here" Misaki whined, she didn't feel like staying home alone.

"You need to rest before you get dizzy again" Tora looked at her as he walked out of her apartment.

"Fine" Misaki grumbled as she waved.

"See you tomorrow. I want my employee back" Tora teased.

"Chill, I'll be back in my cabin before you can spell 'employee'."

"Oh really? E-m-p-l-o-y…" Tora snickered as he showed himself out.

"This doesn't count!" Misaki grinned and Tora left. To be honest, she was happy that Tora had decided to show up and had even remembered that she had doctor's appointment every weekend. She didn't know how she would have come back if he hadn't come. She would probably have spent the night in the hospital if he hadn't shown up.

She was so glad to have Tora in her life.

Misaki paused her happy thoughts as soon as she remembered what she had seen today. She could imagine Tora standing in that same room, with her lying on that bed. She shook her way…no...She didn't want to put him through all that pain. Hell, she couldn't put him through more pain than she already did.

That night, Misaki couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about all the people in her life that would be affected by her death. Her family would probably have it worst, and she knew Tora would be sad too…she kept trying to visualize how that moment would be like…she almost laughed, Ayuzawa Misaki had never been so negative in all her life.

Takumi.

Would he be affected too?

Whenever her thoughts circled back to Takumi, her mind would become frazzled. For sure, Takumi didn't think about her as much as she did. After all, he had been the one to cut the cord between the two of them. Maybe she understood why he did so after all this time. Long distance relationships were a mess, how could she expect him to stay devoted to her from so far away? Even if she saw their relationship in a very serious manner, maybe it wasn't the case for Takumi. Surely, he had other things to do there…

"Back at it again" Misaki chided herself as she turned while lying on her bed towards the right. She was back to overthinking about Takumi. He was her brain's favourite topic. Why? She could never fathom. She had stopped trying to understand how things worked long ago, when she was diagnosed with her cancer. She didn't understand why and how she got the disease. She didn't understand why it was spreading. She didn't understand why she was going to start chemo even though she had no intentions of fighting with her destiny. She didn't understand why she didn't tell her parents about such a serious thing yet. She didn't understand why Tora was doing what he was doing for her. She didn't understand anymore.

She let out a small chuckle as she stared at the empty wall. We as human beings always worried about trivial things, didn't we? She laughed hard when a question came to her mind, "What is the meaning of life?"

"What is the meaning of death?" She wondered out loud, fighting a yawn. These days, she felt like she had been fighting all her life, right from her middle school when her father left. She remembered getting the tag of a fighter back in her school days, the demon president was she called. She felt as if she was fighting a lost battle from the beginning…and she didn't want to fight anymore. She surrendered to the pain, the weakness, the tiredness, and to her loneliness as she shut her eyes off, moving away from the reality, so that she could have at least some peace of mind.

"Sis-Sis! Don't leave me here!" a blurry voice screamed in agony as muffled cries engulfed the room. Misaki couldn't see anything but she could feel the emotions behind the voices. Who was that person? She didn't know, she only heard cries of pain. "Misa why didn't you tell us?" Came another voice as she felt herself being shaken violently, she couldn't see, she couldn't move. All she heard were the painful cries. Misaki tried to run, but everywhere she went, there was darkness. She kept running until she went out of breath, but she still couldn't spot anyone. "You lied to us!" The voices shouted, and she found herself standing inside a hospital room. The faces of those voices started to become visible as light entered the room and she saw a lithe body lying lifelessly on the bed. She couldn't dare to see who that person was. Her body trembled as she took steps towards the bed and decided to take off the paper thin white sheet that hid that person's face.

RING-RING

RING-RING

Misaki bolted awake as soon as she heard the doorbell ring. Her phone had been buzzing and she was covered in sweat and tears. She decided to get up but felt a sudden loss of breath when she realized that she couldn't breathe properly!

Her vision started to blur as she tried to take deep inhales to breathe, but nothing helped. Her hands frantically moved in the both directions, looking for something—anything that could help her breathe! The dream had been so bizarre that she couldn't even realize that she couldn't breathe. Her head started to spin as the oxygen didn't reach her brain. She didn't realize she had fallen until she found her head on the floor and her leg tangled in her blanket.

This was the scariest thing she had ever gone through.

Misaki struggled as she kept on fighting and tried to locate the inhaler Ayame had given her. Her hand landed on a square box thing and she took another large breath as everything went black.

…

Her eyes popped open minutes later, she found her head on the floor and her leg on the bed still. Her hand had been clutching the inhaler tight and she had managed to put it on her nose. Tears started to stream out as she removed the inhaler and decided to sit up, or sit down.

Misaki wiped her tears as she supported herself against the bed edge and managed to sit down on the floor. What in the world had just happened? She didn't realize anything, but she remembered everything go in slow motion at that painful moment. Her back hurt and she realized that she had hit the corner of the bed stand while she fell, causing a wound on the right side of her forehead. Blood had been streaming down and she felt so powerless. All this had taken place in a split second and she didn't even realize it.

The sound of the doorbell ringing was something that she registered moments later. The dream had been one hell of a nightmare and whatever just happened with her was just out of this world. In a bad way. She picked up her phone and rubbed her eyes so that she could see properly.

There were several messages in her phone, from her mother, and missed calls from Suzuna. Her sister had left a message which read "Sis, where are you? We are standing outside."

Misaki had never felt so scared in her entire life. Her family was standing right outside and she surely couldn't go out in such a state. She texted them that she was out in office and that they should check in a hotel until she comes to pick them up. Luckily, Suzuna didn't suspect a thing.

After a few hours, she gathered the energy to stand up. She realized that she had broken a vase during her fall and there were glass shards embedded in her left arm. She had managed to inform Ayame about what happened and Nurse Hitoshi came to her place to treat her wounds.

Around afternoon, Misaki lay awake in her bed. She had asked Nurse Hitoshi to cover her in as less bandages as possible and still had landed in multiple bandages on her arm and forehead. She had to pick her family up from the hotel by 8pm and she felt so bad for lying to them, but there wasn't much she could have done at the moment.

What would she say about these bandages? Her head hurt from trying to make out what to do. She felt tears in her eyes, she felt so lost, so alone, so hopeless…

At 8pm sharp, Misaki was standing in front of her family's hotel room with a large, reassuring smile on her face. She had decided to wear a full sleeved blazer and used makeup to cover her forehead wound. Even though she was in no condition, she still felt like she could conquer the world. She knocked the door when a painful expression came out and escaped on her face, but it was soon replaced by a bright smile as she hugged her mother.

"Hey guys! I missed you!" she said, truthfully as she gave them all a hug. Her apartment was set up like a stage and she was ready to play her part.

A/N:

Hey guys! I'm sorry for leaving you all hanging. A lot has happened. I've been writing scripts for plays and movies while juggling college and coaching classes. Working 19 hours a day. Whoosh! Anyway, the start of this chapter was to send my love and condolences to my friend and her family. She lost her mother on 28th of March, who had fought bravely against cancer for 18 months. She was a warrior, and I hope her daughter inherits that strength. Unfortunately, the only way for me to make peace with something is by writing about it. So that's why I put it in the start scene. Please pray for her!

And here I had some more emotionally draining stuff from APOF, how did the update come out? Let me know!

A huge shoutout to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited/read my story. Even though I'm not able to answer your reviews/pms anymore, I'd love if you put in your questions in the review section and I'll be sure to collectively answer them in the next update.

Coming back, many of you seem to remember that I had said I would make you fall in love with Tora in this story. Many people told me they loved Tora from APOF and I felt so happy! I'm glad I could make you guys experience such emotions!

Sadly, no Takumi in this update, since it turned out to be Misaki-centric. I have a feeling that you guys don't like Takumi in this story anymore!

Seems like I'll have to put out something like "I promise I'll make you fall in love with Takumi" in some upcoming chapters. Haahaha!

Another thing, I was thinking about putting my own book out, what do you think about this?

Also, (I have so much to say and so less time!) If you want some writing guidelines or any kind of suggestion, don't hesitate to ask in PM or Review!

Much Love! See you next time!

||MISS_KIREI||

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