Wilting Roses

Chapter Five

So Unfair

A/N: Been a while since I updated but the plot just wasn't coming to me for a while. Next chapter should hopefully be out earlier.

Dark black. Blood red. White static. Colors that whirled inside me, consumed me. My fingers itched for the sweet release of drawing metal on flesh. They longed for the heat of the barrel against skull and for the bang and flash that would follow. My body ached to pour out what was inside me, the venom that poisoned my system and threatened to drown me in my own fluids. I knew a cure to this, a drug that would prove more helpful to me than any Advil or Aspirin. It came in the form of pale skin, brown hair, and brown hair. Yet this cure was out of my reach, watching with innocent eyes as my sanity broke in pieces in front of her eyes. It was all her fault.

It was proving hard to not to hate Dickward. Ever since he had kissed Bella in the closet at Alice's party he had determined for himself that he was going to make her his. And that sickened me, so much that my veins boiled and my stomach churned and my muscles cramped up as I tried to hold myself back from wringing his slender little neck. And the bastard was so smug about it too. He didn't make it a secret that he was trying to get with her and that pissed me off. He had the audacity to think he could make Bella his? Bella was her own person. She didn't belong to anyone but herself. And potentially me.

Yet in the following weeks after that horrid party, he would openly flirt with her at the lunch table, giving her his trademark lopsided grin that made so many girls swoon haplessly. He dared to even give her his number and tell her to call him when she wanted to make plans to hang out. He didn't even give her the option of if, she wanted to hang out. He just assumed she would. He was so assured and cocky in his own charm that I wanted to smash his face in, wipe that stupid crooked grin off of his face.

But I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was sit there at lunch and try to hold my resentment in while resisting the urge to plunge the plastic knife into his eye socket. Bella who sat next to me still, would squirm in her seat at his blatant flirtations, her cheeks glowing red. Each time she laughed her delicate bell like laugh, I felt betrayed. Felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. How could she laugh at his jokes? He wasn't funny at all. He was dumb and stupid and everything bad in this world and I could be funny too. Why couldn't she see that?

I hated feeling this way. Hated hating my friend Edward. He didn't deserve my vile emotions simply because he had decided to pursue the girl of my dreams. He could do so openly, he was a man and she a woman. It was okay for them to get together. I was a woman, so it wouldn't be as widely accepted for me to come onto her like that. Besides, was she even gay? Or even somewhat bi? I had no clue. Thus it was insane to think that he was stealing her away from me, when she was never mine to have in the first place.

She would be happy with him, I reassured myself. She would have a loving and healthy relationship. So I swallowed my bitterness down and tried to act as naturally as I could towards Edward. But my hidden resentments would rear their head from time to time, especially when he would teasingly touch her on the shoulder or brush his fingers through her hair. Then I would end up being slightly salty the whole day, harsh words rolling off of my acidic tongue. My frustrations ended up getting taken out on anyone and Alice couldn't stand to see this continue. She pulled me aside one day after lunch after I had burst out on Emmett about some stupid joke he had made that I normally would have laughed at.

"Rosalie, are you okay?" she asked, with concern in her wide blue eyes. She had me pinned to the wall with her mere aura, her hands on her hips, small stature intimidating and keeping me there in place.

"Of course," I rolled my eyes derisively. I made to move but she blocked my way.

"Rosalie, there is something you're not telling me about. What is it?"

I sighed heavily. "Honestly, I'm fine-"

"Cut it out with that bullshit, Rosie. I'm your best friend and I can tell something major must have happened that night at the party because ever since then you've been quite bitchy."

"I'm always bitchy," I growled out, curling one end of my mouth up in a sneer.

"More than usual," Alice added, wagging her finger at me. "So out with it. Tell me what's got you so riled up. Is it Edward?"

I flinched at this. She was too close for my liking. "No," I stated but I knew I hadn't convinced her.

"Is it about him," she said, a touch triumphantly like she had solved an integral part of a mystery. "What is it about? Is it about his sudden interest in Bella?" I looked away at her words, afraid she would look into my eyes and see the secrets I held in my soul. Alice leaned closer to me, pestering me more intensely.

"Are you jealous?"

I shrunk my back more into the wall, feeling incredibly cornered and not ready at all for this conversation. "Alice-" I half pleaded half whispered.

"Do you have a crush on Edward?"

This froze me before my body relaxed and I let out an amused little chuckle. So Alice thought it was that. Thank goodness. I was about to tell her no, that there was no way I could ever have a crush on Dorkwad- Edward, I corrected, annoyed that I was being so rude to him in my thoughts. I must have imagined pounding his face in more times than I could count and I know he didn't deserve this. He was my friend. And I wasn't going to let a little crush on Bella come in between our relationship.

"So you do," Alice said, leaning back on her heels, satisfied that she got to this conclusion. I decided to go along. Pretending to have a crush on Edward would provide great cover for hiding my real crush. And besides, nothing bad could happen from this, right?

"Look- don't tell him-"

"Of course I won't. This is so amazing! Rosie, finally having a crush! Did he melt that frozen heart of yours with his warm smile?" Alice grabbed my hands and began shaking them up and down in excitement. "I can't wait to help you pick out clothes for dates and-"

"Alice," I cut in loudly, stopping the girl's excited rambling. "It doesn't matter what my feelings for him are. He clearly likes Bella. So I'm not getting in the way."

Alice's smile turned upside down. "You're giving up?" She seemed to be in disbelief. You would think it was her with the crush and the heartbreak going on and not me.

"There's no point-"

"No." Alice shook her head ardently. "I'm not listening to another word you're saying. This is the first time you've had feelings for someone else like this. It's monumental, your first crush. And I'm not just going to let you destroy it, to discard it like this. I won't stand to see that happen!"

Uh...

"Therefore I'm going to help you out. We're going to make Edward fall in love with you. Make him forget all about his crush on Bella! I promise to make it happen." Alice shot me a warm and reassuring smile. But all I felt was cold inside.

Well, shit.

I should have seen this coming.

The bell for class rang, signaling next period and the arrival of Alice's plan of seduction of Edward.

Why had I lied?

It was going to bite me in the butt and badly.

I tried not to think about my verbal fuck up all class period long but it was hard to do when the teacher decided we would be doing a group project and put me in the same group as Edward, Alice, and Bella. I knew working with Edward was going to grin my gears, and I was right.

We talked about what our topic would be, and who would do what portion of it, and I tried not to be bitter as I watched Edward casually sling his arm around the back of Bella's chair as if telling people to back off from his territory. I wanted to wretch his arm from that position but instead I busied myself with shuffling some papers around in my folder and rearranging them, trying to act busy. Alice noticed this out of the corner of her eye and looked over at Edward and then me again. I caught her staring and shook my head no, but she merely gave me a small smile and interrupted Bella and Edward's conversation, where Edward had been awkwardly trying to flirt with Bella, the poor brunette not knowing how to respond to his advances.

"Hey, let's all meet up at Rosalie's place to work on the project," Alice suggested and I gave her an odd look. My place? What was she planning?

"Sure, I don't have a problem with that," Bella said eagerly.

"Why not Bella's place?" Edward offered.

How rude! He's offering to go to her place, when it's not his offer to make! My blood boiled at his inconsideration of Bella.

"My place is way too small!" Bella insisted. "I wouldn't be able to fit all of us in comfortably."

"Exactly," Alice said proudly, as if she knew Bella would say no to his idea but yes to hers. "So Rosalie's place it is. Don't be late."

And with that it was settled that we would be going over to my place at 5pm, and I had had absolutely no say in this. Not that protesting would have done much good. It would have seemed weird that I would ardently refuse their arrival at my place. But I really was not looking forward to being unable to escape from Alice's plans even in my own house.

That was why I glumly headed back, trying not to brood too heavily when I got there. Before I could open the door Jasper did it for me. He had gotten home first since he got out a whole period early on Tuesday's and must have been waiting for me. Hmm, suspicious. What was he up to?

"Why the glum face, sis?" he asked as he let me walk past him. I tossed my car keys into the bowl in the hallway, cautious of my words. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"It doesn't seem like nothing. You got that whole Edward look down."

I bristled at being likened to Edward but kept my tone even. "I have no idea what you mean."

"I mean he gets this look on his face like he's very pained and its usually whenever he's thinking really hard about stuff. He gets all melancholy and quiet and sensitive just like you are right now," Jasper insisted as he walked behind me casually hands in pockets, as I shed my light jacket and book bag on the couches. Our mother and father's jackets were both missing from their usual couch spot so it looked like it was just me and Jasper in the house again. Alone.

"I do not look like Edward. At all." This time I couldn't keep the hint of venom from my voice. "And would you stop following me around? It's annoying!" I whirled to face him and found him grinning slyly at me.

"What's got you so upset about Edward?"

Oh great. Not another one. Was I really that easy to read? When had that happened?

"I am not upset at Edward! Why does everyone think that?"

"Everyone?" Jasper asked, his eyes glinting curiously.

Shit, I had let that slip. I had no choice but to go with it. "Yea, Alice noticed too, that supposedly I have an issue with him. But I don't. I'm just...moody. Which isn't usual for me." I quickly tried to amend my mistake.

"Yea, but you're super moody, even more so than usual. And that's concerning." Jasper plopped down on the couch, patting the cushion next to me. "Come, sit down. Tell your big bro all about it."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You're only my big brother by three minutes."

"I'm still you're big brother. And it's my job to protect my little sister and figure out what is bothering her." He looked so earnest in that moment, so inviting, that I was almost tempted to give in. To spill to him the truth about how I liked Bella, and how I was jealous of Edward for being able to flirt with her openly.

But I didn't give in to the urge, because I kept telling myself these feelings for Bella were merely part of a stupid crush that was going to go away soon.

I shook my head no. "Sorry, but it's a girl thing. You wouldn't get it." Then I turned on my heel so I wouldn't see his hurt expression and went upstairs, trying to tidy up my room to keep my thoughts off of my issues. My group and I were meeting today for the project and I really didn't want to see Edward's stupid face at my house but I really didn't have a choice. I just hoped we could get our work done quickly.

Edward, Alice, and Bella all carpooled to my house together, bringing with them paper, glue, scissors and a construction board for the project.

"I can't believe Mr. Fabray wants this project due by the end of the week. There's too much to be done!" Edward complained as he lead the way to my room upstairs where I had cleaned up my desktop to make space for the project.

"And I can't believe he wants it due on a board. I mean, who even does that in this day and age," Alice added on, huffing so that a strand of her hair got blown up. It was looking a bit long; it was going to be time soon for Alice to cut it and I knew she'd be knocking on my door to ask for help with it. She trusted me to style her hair because she always thought I styled and cut and dyed my own so beautifully. I was always a natural blonde but I had had an emo phase back in Freshman year. Black hair, black nail polish, and the dark makeup to match it. I tried not to think about it too much.

"Good thing we're starting it early," Bella said, ever the optimist.

Work was slow going on the project since Edward thought it appropriate to flirt with Bella the whole time- did he never get tired of it? It made me grit my teeth and send him nasty looks when he wasn't looking. Alice of course noticed this, and spoke up on my behalf. "Edward, stop fooling around. We've got work to do. You can flirt with Bella later."

Edward frowned at her for this, but listened without complaint because he became serious and focused on the task before him. I let out an inaudible sigh of relief at this, glad I would no longer have to listen to him croon words of sweet endearment. With him silent now, we were able to work more efficiently as a group. Or at least they were. I was constantly distracted by the way Bella would silently huff in contemplation over her project and bite her lip. Damn did her lip biting drive me crazy! I had to chew on the inside of my cheek to keep myself focused and consciously remind myself to keep my eyes on my papers and not on Bella's face. Somehow I managed it and by the time 10pm rolled around, we had finished a majority of our work.

"Alright, let's meet one more time before Friday to finish the rest," Alice said as she got up, cracking her back. My back too felt sore from having to stay bent over the board for so many hours and I massaged it with one hand as I gathered my things with my other.

"We'll meet at your place again?" Edward asked me and I nodded my head.

"I'll work on dolling up the board in my free time so that it looks better." I always liked my projects to look pretty; as pretty on the outside as the work was on the inside, just like me.

"Alice, I'll drop you off by your house first, is that okay?" Edward asked as he cleaned up his supplies and books.

"Actually, I wanted to stay behind and talk to Rosalie."

I tried not to wince outwardly at this. I knew what she wanted to talk to me about. She'd been pestering me all of the past two days through text (ever since my 'crush' got revealed) and was no doubt going to trap me and force me to talk about it in person.

"But how are you going to get back? You didn't bring your car-"

"Rosalie will drive me back, right?" Alice flashed me a smile, urging me to go along with her. I was half tempted to say no, just to spare me from her interrogations but she was my best friend, so I had to say yes.

"I'll drive her back."

"Okay. Come on Bella-"

"Also, we kind of need Bella too," Alice cut in, smiling innocently, hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her feet.

What was she up to now?

Edward flashed her an odd look at the same time Bella squeaked out, "me?"

"We need to talk to her about something. Girls only," Alice said, winking. This was a secret sign we used with each other. Usually we used it to signal that we would be talking about our 'group activities' in order to not alert suspicions of those around us. But was Alice really going to talk about our 'group stuff' or was she just using that as a cover to get rid of Edward?

Edward got the message, Bella oblivious to the meaning of the blink. "I'll catch you all later then. Rosalie, will you drive Bella back too?" he directed at me.

"Yes," I said hastily, trying to not let my worry appear in my voice. I had a bad feeling about this upcoming talk and my palms began to sweat. I almost wished Edward could drive me away from here, but attaching myself to his leg and begging him to save me wouldn't be a good look for my reputation or mental health state.

With another goodbye, Edward left the room, Bella turning to us with a questioning look in her eyes. "What do you need me for?"

"We need you to help us," Alice said as she hopped over to the door and locked it to make sure no one could get in while we had our talk. Then she turned around on her heel and fixed Bella with a sweet smile.

"We?" I echoed.

"Well, you more specifically," Alice said and my stomach did a flip. My mouth went dry.

"Alice-"

"Bella, something momentous has happened to Rosalie and I would appreciate it if you could help her with it," Alice ignored me, hands on hips, head thrown back like she was about to make a grand speech.

"Alice, I swear you better not tell her!" I was blushing furiously. "I told you that in confidence!"

Alice fixed me with a calm look. "How are you expecting to get him if he's flirting with Bella all this time! If she helps you, then you can get him."

"I never said I wanted him!" I threw my hand out, rounding on Alice, afraid to see Bella's expression right now. I was getting desperate for her to shut up.

"Is this about Edward?" Bella asked.

"Rosalie likes him!" Alice managed to get out before I threw myself on her, shoving my hand over her mouth to shut her up. But it was already too late. She had said it, said those dreaded words and to my crush of all people.

"Alice, you little bitch!" I yelled at her as she struggled to free herself from my grasp, elbowing me in the ribs hard. I gasped out loud and went down hard while Alice skipped over to Bella, giggling lightly, and placed her hands on the stunned brunette's shoulders. Bella looked surprised in a bad way to hear I liked Edward. I couldn't fathom why.

"Rosalie never feels much emotion so the fact that she was able to get feelings for someone is a big deal. A very big deal! And thus, I want you to help her get Edward. If you stop flirting with him and turn him down, then Rosalie can make her moves."

I wanted to bury my face in my hands I was so mortified. I wanted to mentally and physically vacate this world. Why couldn't Alice stop trying to be such a good friend and let me suffer? This fake crush getting revealed to my real crush was much more painful than leaving it be. The urge to shout no, I do not like Edward at all, was strong, but I couldn't do it. The words sat on my tongue so I clamped my lips shut tightly, afraid that if I opened my mouth they would come out and then it would be really awkward trying to explain why I had lied previously. Then Alice would be forced to look deeper into my problem and then she could really find out why I was upset at Edward, and I did not need that. I could not have Bella find out the truth.

Bella looked undecided in the face of Alice's idea but then she smiled, albeit it was a shaky one. "Don't worry. I don't actually like Edward, so I'll be glad to help Rosalie with her crush."

The fact that Bella wasn't interested in Edward that way made my heart soar in my chest. It made the pain in the ribs Alice gave me disappear. It made my deathly mortification seem like nothing.

She didn't like him.

She didn't!

I would have done back flips around the room if I could. I didn't have to worry about my crush being snatched up by Dorkwad.

But my elation was marred when she sent me an oddly conflicted look. Like she was happy for me, but sad at the same time. Had I done something wrong? We held eyes like that for a while before Alice's excited squeal interrupted us.

"I'm so happy you could help us, Bella. This is going to be so much fun! Operation Get Edward Masen is now underway, and I'll be your captain for the mission." Alice did a mock salute and Bella reverted her eyes to the pixie.

"Ready to report for duty, captain," she saluted back but without as much enthusiasm as Alice.

I just knelt there silently, contemplating my past choices and the unfortunate repercussions of them. I wondered where they would take me next.