.

5. Naifu – Mischief Maker

Naifu balanced the dagger-tip on her index finger. She wore gloves to protect her hands, so it didn't cut her. Not that she would've let it regardless. She was clumsy enough to fall over her own feet just getting up in the morning, but when it came to her blades she was nimble to the tenth power. Nobody was better than her.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" She didn't take her eyes off the wobbling hilt.

"That. You make me nervous."

"I make you nervous?" A flick of the wrist sent the dagger spinning end over end. She snatched it out of the air with ease and waggled it at Cissnei. "What about when you get out that red metal monstrosity and start playing with it?"

"Rekka is a shuriken, and I don't play with it. I clean it, I whet it, I polish it, and I check the retractable blades actually retract."

"Whateverrrr." Naifu pocketed the dagger and flopped forward. Her head banged against the tabletop. "Ow." She let it rest there and sighed. Warm air blew back up her nose. "I'm bored."

"You can't be bored. You only just finished eating."

"I am bored. And that was Wutaian food. I'll be hungry again in half an hour. Until then, I'm bored."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Because you're here. And I was kind of hoping you could make me not bored."

Cissnei's feet were propped on the table, the better to balance a cardboard box of noodles in her lap. She picked out something small, white and round and ate it. Her pretty features twisted up in disgust. "Ugh. Water chestnut."

"I thought you liked chestnuts."

"Roasted over an open fire during Yule, sure, but these water chestnuts are terrible. They taste like … I don't even know what they taste like. Something bad."

"Probably all the pollution wherever they were grown making them taste like … hey, toss me one of those." Naifu held up her palm and closed it around the water chestnut Cissnei flicked at her without even trying. She popped it into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "Making them taste like pickled dog nuts – yuck!"

"Don't joke. I think I saw that on the menu." Cissnei poked her food with less enthusiasm than before. "We're not talking a real highbrow establishment here."

"And all those strays on the streets gotta go someplace."

Naifu looked up at the owner of the new voice. "Legend!"

The older Turk cocked a lackadaisical salute as he sauntered into the room. Turks could eat in the Mess Hall with everybody else, but typically chose not to. They liked to keep themselves to themselves. This room was basic to the point of bareness, with just a table in the middle and various plastic and easy chairs scattered around. There was a TV in the corner, but someone had busted it recently and it hadn't been replaced yet. Naifu would put money on Youhei as the culprit. That girl was so bad-tempered, and had a habit of lashing out with her wicked martial-arts when she got pissed. Which … actually was most of the time. They went through a lot of TVs.

Legend pulled out a chair, twirling it backwards and straddling the seat. "Ladies. You're both lookin' pretty damn luscious today."

"Give me strength." Cissnei rolled her eyes. "Don't you ever stop?"

"Why would I stop?"

"Uh, because unlike the women in Costa del Sol, we can easily kick your ass for being such a letch?"

"I'm not a letch." His expression was hurt, but neither Naifu nor Cissnei believed it. Especially when he could hold it and his usual sly grin returned. It made the skin at the corner of his one eye crinkle, and formed slight brackets around his mouth. Nobody knew how old he was, but 'old enough to know better' was a well-worn response. "I'm a connoisseur. I know how to appreciate the finer things in life: fine food, fine drink, fine women – and only one of those three is in this room."

"I had no idea you considered cheap Wutai takeout fine food," Cissnei said without missing a beat. She offered him the box. "Want some ginger beef?"

"Yeah, like that's really beef," Legend snorted. He pointed to the logo on the side. "Kiki's Kickin' Takeaway? Kiki Kaluha wrote the book on how to make rat taste like anything 'cept rat. Literally. They keep it in back and make all new employees read it."

Cissnei looked back into the box, plonked it on the table and pushed it away with her foot. "That's it. I'm done." She rose and went to the door. "Naifu, whatever you do to make yourself not bored, try not to stab anyone, okay?"

Naifu straightened in mock-indignation. "Show some faith."

"I've been partnered with the newbies. My faith is in pretty short supply right now."

"Ouch." Legend's expression commiserated more than words. Nobody liked being partnered with wet-behind-the-ears newbies when they were used to working with experienced Turks. It was considered babysitting duty and something of a punishment even when it wasn't. He couldn't completely hide his grin as he spoke, though. "Good luck."

"That just made me put your name at the top of the list of recommendations for my replacement when I get off this detail. And Tseng owes me a favour." Cissnei gave a little finger-wave. "Toodles."

"Never ruin a meal for someone just before or just after a fourteen hour shift," Naifu advised.

Legend shrugged. "So I hear you're bored?"

"Very."

His look was speculative. "Wanna hit the target range with me?"

"I can hit any target with any blade. I hate the target range."

"I wasn't recommending you use your knives."

"I hate guns even more."

"I wasn't recommending guns either."

She blinked. Legend was an explosives expert. He was also known for his unorthodox ways and his careless attitude regarding collateral damage. Possibilities opened up before her. "What were you recommending?"

He grinned. "I got me a brand new concoction loaded into some cherry bombs that I'm just itching to test out."

"Cherry bombs? Those little two-gil toy store things kids flush down toilets?"

"Yup. But believe me, if you flush mine down any toilet, you'd get more than a piss fountain in a porcelain bowl."

Naifu stared at him. When he smiled that way, he looked kind of evil. She could understand how, during the Wutai war, he'd gotten the nickname 'God of the Death of the Battlefield'. As if insisting everyone use his first nickname 'The Legendary Turk' instead of his real name wasn't egocentric enough. Legend was arrogant, brash, a total womaniser, and proud of the whole shebang.

But he wasn't boring.

She smiled back. "Count me in."

Side-flings, Homages and Downright Rip-offs

There was a TV in the corner, but someone had busted it recently and it hadn't been replaced yet. Naifu would put money on Youhei as the culprit. That girl was so bad-tempered, and had a habit of lashing out with her wicked martial-arts when she got pissed. Which … actually was most of the time. They went through a lot of TVs.

- A couple more character from Before Crisis here: Youhei and Legend. Again, they can be found at finalfantasy (dot) wikia (dot) com (slash) wiki (slash) List (underscore) of (underscore) Before (underscore) Crisis (underscore) (dash)Final (underscore) Fantasy (underscore) VII(dash) (underscore) Characters. Youhei is a name that has several meanings, one of which is 'mercenary'. She is called 'Martial Arts (female)' in the game and actually got a small part in the animated OVA Last Order as the Turk who obersved and reported back to Tseng what happened in the Nibelheim reactor. Legend is from Book One of this series and is called 'Legend (male)' in the game.