My eyes cracked open, heavy with exhaustion, although I had been asleep for who knows how long, and my tongue felt heavy and swollen. I heard a small gasp, and then: "Malfoy? …Draco? Are you awake?"
I tried to respond, but my mouth wasn't cooperating, so all that came out was a moan. I felt myself flush with embarrassment, as moans would always sound quite sexual, no matter what situation they were coming from. I felt a glass being pressed to my lips and a heard a soft voice order, "Drink." I certainly wasn't complaining, as the water was so smooth and refreshing. I opened my eyes to look at the person who had blessed me with water, and was met by a set of vibrant green eyes.
"Harry…" I murmured. "What… you're here."
I saw tears well up in his eyes before he whispered, "Of course I am, dumbass. I couldn't let my friend wake up in the hospital alone. Are- are you okay?"
"I will be now." I tried to push my dream away, but was unable to do so. I couldn't get the image of Harry dying in front of me.
"Malfoy, what happened out there?" Potter's tone was suddenly brisk, and I felt compelled to do the same.
"I've no idea what happened, and now that I'm awake, I suppose it doesn't quite matter." I say the words sharply, with a tinge of iciness chilling my voice. I had to remember my job of pushing Harry away.
Harry sighed. "It matters to me. I don't let my friends go as easily as you're trying-"
"That's the thing though, isn't it Potter? We aren't friends. And I'm not your pity case, so stop treating me like I am! I am MORE than someone you can pretend to care about because you feel bad about me! I have more self-worth than to just LET YOU DO THAT! I MATTER TO PEOPLE, YOU KNOW! I DO – NOT – NEED – YOU! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME BEYOND FEELING BAD FOR ME BECAUSE OF WHO MY PARENTS ARE AND WHO THEY ASSOCIATE WITH! I AM MORE THAN WHO YOU THINK I AM!" I was sobbing at this point, and I was screaming at Potter without believing a word of what I was saying. We were friends, I was his pity case, I wasn't more than someone he could pretend to care about, I didn't have more self-worth than that, I didn't matter to people, there was no one to love me, there was no one to care about me and no one to spend time with me because all people could see were my dad's light hair and silvery and my mom's light complexion. I was so much less than Harry thought I was and I knew it.
"So p-please, just- just stop. Stop being so nice. We both know it's not in my DNA to be nice. My parents are Death Eaters and I've always been destined to follow in my father's footsteps. So don't set yourself up to be burned by me yet again." I looked away from Harry and toward the wall and closed my eyes, tears leaking from them.
"You are so much more than your parents. You are Draco Malfoy. You know, your name means bitter dragon. My name is much more of an acronym. Harry Potter. The occupation of potter belongs to a poor person, but Harry means ruler. Bitter dragon sounds much better than poor ruler. And that's just it, you have so much more… I don't know, betterness in you." I knew if I looked behind me, I would see him smiling gently at me.
"You're the Boy-Who-Lived. You've done so much for the entire wizarding community. I've caused nothing but pain and disaster. And you're everything I've wanted to be." Everything I've always wanted. "I have always wanted to do something for somebody that would make a difference in just one person's life. Make one person happy."
"Draco, you make me happy just by being alive." At this I turned back toward him, tears still rolling my cheeks. He was looking at me with a fond look on his face. When he noticed me looking at him, he quickly turned his face to the floor.
"Potter, what the hell do you mean by that?" I watched him intently for his answer.
"I just mean that you mean more to me than you know. That you do make a difference. You make a difference in my life." He looked down, bashful.
"You know Potter, you'd make a terrible carpenter."
"Huh?" His eyebrows drew together in confusion.
"Everyone wants to put me in a box, so I've given them the walls to build it with, and you're the only one trying to get rid of the walls. If you can't even build a box, you could never be a carpenter. It's like you've thrown out the tools you need to build a box and just kept the ones you need to tear down a wall."
"Because you don't need to put up walls. You don't need to be put in a box. You live in a mansion, but now the halls seem shorter, the rooms seem small, the house seems quieter. You need more out of life, but no one is willing to let you out of that house. They've locked you in a box, and you aren't trying to escape. You'll die in that box. You don't need a box for a house. You need the world, with a home in it that you can return to when you need a rest. There is so much for you in this world, but you don't even want to try and see it. Even though that's what will save you." He lifted my chin up to meet his eyes and my breath caught in my throat. "And I hope that maybe at the very least, I can build you a window. Maybe then you'll look outside and realize that everything you want is right outside, and then you can build yourself a door. You're dying the way you are right now. And I can't bear to just idly stand by and let you die."
"I have a window, Harry. I can see all the people that built my house passing by. They all look right at me, but not one of them sees me. There's no point." I tore my gaze from his.
"I see you."
My eyes snapped back up to his. He… he couldn't possibly mean that. There was no way that he could see how I wasn't at all who I pretended to be. He had to believe at least a little of it. He probably believed at least that I was truly a pureblood. Nobody knew that my father was a half-blood. Both his parents were wizards, but they each had a muggle parent. I had never had anyone question my pureblood status.
"You're scared, Draco. Of everything. You belong in Gryffindor, but you're too scared to disappoint your father. You want to be happy, but you're too scared to try."
"No." I whispered, but I was too quiet for him to possibly hear me. He was right. It was simple. I was terrified of what might happen if I did something to improve my life.
"You deserve the world, Draco Malfoy. And I am completely willing to help you work for it. You're absolutely perfect and beautiful, and if I have to stay with you here for forever, I'm willing to." He sighed. "Look, this isn't how I want this conversation to go. If I could, I'd just show you, but I guess I'm scared too." In a quiet tone that I was certain I wasn't supposed to hear, he added, "Too scared that you might hate me for how I feel."
Whatever that was supposed to mean, I was sure it didn't mean what I wanted it to. Which was a shame, because if he loved me too, I would totally have sex with him in the disgusting school hospital wing. I couldn't help but wonder though, when would Harry realize I was in love with him?
All of a sudden, the slight happiness I had been feeling evaporated. The reason I was in the hospital wing sunk in. I was here because I refused to eat. I could if I wanted, but I would rather just let myself die. So I didn't eat in the hopes that it would kill me and then I wouldn't have to kill or torture anybody.
"Draco, listen." God, the things that slight lisp did to me. "You need to take care of yourself. I can't lose you. It just can't happen." I shifted a little under the covers to hide the boner I was getting at the sound of his almost unnoticeable lisp. It was hot as fuck. I had to shift a little more though, as suddenly Harry was leaning over me, enveloping me in a warm, tight hug. "You are genuinely my friend Draco, and I can't believe I'm saying this after everything you've done, but I care about you so much."
Pulling away, he opened his mouth to say more, but just then, Tristan Hughes appeared in the doorway of the hospital, leaning casually against the doorway. A seventh year and one of the Slytherin Quidditch Chasers, he was tall and lean, with muscle that indicated him as a runner. He cleared his throat and Harry spun around, crossing his arms defensively.
"Well, what could Harry Potter possibly be doing in the hospital wing with Draco Malfoy? Not trying to kill our Seeker, are you Potter?" Tristan chuckled, then pushed past the disgruntled Harry. "How you doing Draco?" He clapped me hard on the shoulder, and I winced in pain. I saw Harry's face twist with concern and he made a move to comfort me, but Tristan beat him to it.
"Oh, damn Draco, I'm so sorry. I forgot you're probably still in some pain. Are you alright? I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." He bent over me, his face contorted with concern, and he looked so genuine and sincere that I couldn't help but smile.
"Don't worry Tristan. I'm just a little stiff still," I reassured him.
I saw a smirk dance over his pink lips, then he leaned toward my ear and whispered into it, "I could think of a couple other things you and I could do that would leave both of us sore in other places that would make it quite difficult to sit on our brooms."
I froze. Did he really just say that? Didn't he know I was in love with Potter? Clearly not, or he wouldn't have said that. But then, how could he possibly know I was gay?
He laughed, a silvery laugh that echoed through the room. "Well, since you almost died, I figured I might as well have some fun with you." Twisting around, he added, "Potter, do you mind?"
Harry looked at me, then said "I'll just… leave you guys to it then."
"Look, Draco, I'm not saying I like you or anything, because that would be weird. But I will say that I'm gay as hell, and I'll admit I've watched you in the showers after Quidditch matches, and I certainly like what I saw. Okay, maybe I do like you a little, so what do you say of next weekend going to Hogsmeade with me?" Tristan looked at me, not blushing a bit, which should really have warned me right off the bat. The way I behaved around Potter, or Weasley and Granger behaved around each other, or even Blaise and Avery, who weren't exactly the bashful type, was as a whole ass disaster and Tristan was as casual as if he was asking how I did on the last transfiguration quiz. But dumbass me didn't clue in, and decided that this would be the perfect way to get rid of this silly crush on Potter.
"Hogsmeade would be great," I said, smiling.
Tristan smiled back at me, then he climbed onto my bed, which creaked under his weight. He swung one leg across my body and settled lightly upon my lower stomach. I still had a bit of a boner from Potter, and just having the knowledge that there was a dick near my own made the matter so much worse. His hair fell into his eyes and he pushed it back in a way that really was quite sexy. Straddling me, his warm brown eyes met my cold blue ones. He leaned downward in a way that applied pressure to just the right place and I could feel my cock getting harder by the second.
I was distracted by how I could possibly hide my huge hard-on, when I felt cool lips meet mine. Tristan kissed me passionately, like he hungered for my lips but at the same time, I could feel him pulling away, almost as though he didn't want this at all. Which I knew couldn't possibly be true, because he had just asked me out on a date.
He suddenly deepened the kiss and I could feel him getting hard against my stomach. He pulled back slightly, looking at me with piercing blue eyes.
Wait a second. Weren't his eyes brown a second ago? I looked closer and saw his hair, originally a brown color, turning to a color closer to my hair.
"Holy shit! You're a Metamorphagus! That- I had no- that's fucking amazing!"
"Shh… Nobody knows. I just thought that you and I could have a little more fun if you knew about my capabilities. For the most part I stay as my own unique self but I sometimes become a different person entirely. Just for fun, you know?" He smirked at me, slightly rolling his hips into me, releasing a soft moan of pleasure as the friction ran through his crotch. I couldn't help but release a tiny moan, inaudible unless you were in the room.
Which Harry James Potter was. And with the most horrified look on his face. As Tristan leaned in for another kiss, I watched helplessly as Harry turned and fled down the corridor toward the Gryffindor tower.