Wilting Roses
Chapter Nine: I'm a Ruin
Whoever said love was war clearly hadn't felt the first vestiges of fluttering butterflies in their stomach, or worn those rose tinted glasses. Because nowhere in war did your stomach do back flips out of happiness, nor did you see the senseless slaughter in a positive light. Love was more closely described as art; it was only as good or as suited to your tastes as you let it be.
Bella texted me all the details of the date when I asked her to, so suffice to say, Edward is gobsmacked when I appear around the corner of the restaurant instead of Bella. She's somewhere on her way, but I've come earlier so I can get some one on one time with Eddy boy. She has no idea about what I'm going to do, so I'm hoping to get it done before she does find out. All I know is she told me to save her from this date, and whether it was a valid plea or not, I'm going to take it seriously.
"Rosalie, what are you doing here?" He's dressed all dapper and he holds a rose and chocolates under his arm- all for Bella. A tiny part of me says it's not too late, I can still back out and let him treat Bella right. I know he can be a gentleman. She deserves someone society won't look down upon her dating. But the rest of me is raring to go. I've been hurt too much by him, and it doesn't matter whether that hurt was unintentional or not, I'm going to rip him a new one.
The fact remains, he was a giant dick, and the old me would never let someone treat me like this and let them get away unscathed. He was about to be on the receiving end of my tongue, and maybe even my fists if he pushed me far enough.
"I'm here to ruin your date," I say casually and his face darkens, but I'm not done yet. "Because Bella asked me to."
At this his jaw drops open. He clearly wasn't expecting to hear that. I let a smug grin stretch my lips. God, that had felt so good to say. I tossed my head back, jutted my chin out. I was beginning to feel more like my own confident self.
He's struggling with something, clamps his lips shut, opens them again. "I don't believe you."
I knew that would happen. "Then believe this." I shove the phone with Bella's text at him and his face pales as he reads that. He flicks his eyes up to me when he's done and I can see hurt and anger shinning in them.
"So, she stood me up?"
"No, she's still on her way here. I just decided to pop in before she did, to let you know that she doesn't want this. So maybe you should man up and stop treating her like she can be won." He looks like he wants to speak but I cut him off. "I'm not going to fight you over her. That's not how it works. I don't want her to be torn between two choices, between two people she might want nothing to do with. I'm not going to force my feelings onto her and I wish you'd do the same, Eddy."
My words have come out softer than I expected them too. It seemed my ice sharp tongue that picked and prodded people apart like a surgeon's tools, still wasn't back, but maybe this was fine too. Because Dickward seemed to have an epiphany.
"I have been an asshole. I was so focused on my own feelings that I never considered hers. Or yours." His words give me hope that maybe he will stop this stupid behavior and just let Bella breathe for once. I don't even care about my own feelings getting trampled in this mess. I just want her to be stress free. "But that doesn't mean my feelings will go away and I will probably do stupid stuff because of them."
"That's fine. I've done stupid stuff because of my crush on Bella too."
Edward nods his head. Considers. "So, a truce?" He sticks out his hand. "Both of us lay off of Bella and let her decide what she wants?"
I want to point out that I wasn't the one suffocating her with my unwanted gestures but I still shake his hand. "Deal." Under my breath I sighed, "I was really getting tired of calling you Dickward in my head and correcting myself when talking to you."
He arched a brow, deaf. "What?"
"Nothing." I shook my head.
He gave me an odd look before clearing his throat. "Okay...Good. Now, I'm going to call this date off with her. And the two of us," he gestured to myself and him, "need to talk more about this."
"Fine with me." I always hated talking about my emotions or inner thoughts with others- it was what made me a successful ice queen in the first place- but for Bella's sake, I would endure such annoyances.
Edward strode off and I watched him texting Bella that the date was off. For some reason my heart felt lighter. I realized that it was the first time I had faced Edward in a while. I had done so thoughtlessly because I was in such a rush to help Bella, thus forgoing all my usual reluctance.
"Is he gone?" a soft voice asks behind me and I peer over to see it's Bella, tentatively walking towards me with her hands clasped in front of her.
She looks stunning, hair neat and shiny around her shoulders, a light smathering of makeup on her face giving her natural beauty a boost. And she's wearing a cute flower print dress, in sweet pink and white. "Uh, yea," I grunt out, eyes raking over her, throat dry. I want nothing more than to continue staring at her, drinking her in.
Her face breaks out into a smile and I wish I had a pair of sunglasses to combat how bright it is. "Thank you, Rosalie," she breathes and takes my hands in hers. They're warm and soft and I long to keep them forever in my hold.
"It was no problem, really," I manage to choke out. She's got a look on her face that I've never seen before. It's almost dreamy and her eyes are big and wide and entirely too focused on me.
"No, it was a big deal. After all you like him and to s-" Bella lowers her gaze and her words lose some warmth.
"I don't like him," I blurt out in haste. I'm so tired of living that lie. It was meant to help me, but it has only ruined my life and tampered with the bonds of friendship between me and my friend group.
Bella raises her eyes up in question.
"It was all a misunderstanding," I continue, not knowing exactly where I'm going with this, but needing to get it off my chest. "Alice mistook something I said and as we all know Alice, once she gets an idea in her head, it's hard to talk her out of it. So she kept trying to hook me up with him even though I didn't want to."
"Why didn't you say anything? All this time, all this trouble that we caused could have been avoided-Even I contributed to the issue and that was why you must have locked yourself up in the room, because it was all so troublesome to you-"
Bella was beating herself up for something she was not at all at fault for and I squeezed her hands in mine. "Stop that," I commanded in a rough voice. "It's all fine now. I've talked to Alice about it, and she's finally given it a rest. I don't want either of you feeling bad about your involvement with this. I should have spoken up sooner about how much trouble this was giving me but I didn't. So the blame lies on me."
"But still-"
"Bella, no," I reprimanded her, eyes stern.
She sighed, cast me a look I couldn't read and dropped her hands from mine. "Okay. I just want to say I'm sorry."
I nodded my head not knowing what else to say now. Maybe I should bid her a good day and leave? My task here of saving her from the Evil Queen was done, so there was no more of an excuse to hang out with her. "Alright, I'll see you at school." I stiffly turned away but her hand caught my wrist and turned me back around.
"Where are you going?"
"Home," I arched a brow, puzzeled. "Aren't you?"
Bella shook her head. "I'm all dressed up for a date, but I have nowhere to go. It would be a shame to waste this outfit," Bella sighed dramatically.
Was...Bella flirting with me? Was she asking me out...on a date? I felt oddly warm all over and tingly and I was sure I was flushing. "Uh, well, that is a shame. Wasting the dress, I mean. Maybe...you wanna...do something, I dunno?"
Wow, way smooth, Rosalie, I chided myself. I sounded like a stuttering teenaged boy asking his middle school crush out for the first time.
Bella gave a little laugh, batting her eyes playfully. "Rosalie are you asking me out?"
"NO!" I was so used to denying my feelings for her that that was the first thing to blurt out of my mouth. But when I saw what looked like hurt blossom on her face, I lowered my voice and tried to fix my words. "I mean, yes. Uh, it's a fake date, a fake date!" My poor brain was short circuiting and I couldn't seem to stop it's senseless rambles.
Bella's playfulness seemed to drop a bit at the words fake date but before I could spot that shift, she was smiling at me once more. "Great, I would love to go on this fake date with you. Our first stop, is the movies!" She hooked her arm into mine and pulled me over to the theater.
A date, a date with Bella! I cheered internally, a touch of incredibility in my words. I couldn't believe it. How the heck had this day gone from the worst mess ever, thinking my heart was breaking to pieces and me lying on the bathroom floor, to me now going on a date, albeit a fake one, with the object of my obsession.
My insides were squirming in excitement and later doing backflips when I realized that me and Bella were going to be sitting in the dark. Together. And watching a romantic film.
I had been too wrapped up in my inner thoughts to be all there when we had bought the popcorn and drinks and selected the movie. I'm sure Bella tried asking me for my opinion but I had merely grunted out a yes or no or whatever.
I wasn't sure if I was ready for this and suddenly I felt the need to flee. What if...it wasn't fun? What if she never wanted to see another movie with me for some inexplicable reason?
Stop this, I scolded myself. Stop being dumb and over thinking things. It's just a fucking move for Christ's sake. You've done them before and it's always been a fine chill affair.
But this is Bella, I argued back. She means so much more than those dates I've had with the local town boys.
I took deep breathes to steady my nerves and tried to pull up my ice queen calm, the one that I used to help me keep my head in tough situations. It wasn't as effective given that Bella was sitting next to me and I would always be a nervous wreck around her but it did ease my mind a bit and I was able to relax into my seat, Bella to my left.
Once the movie started I was able to get into it, although it was so cliche and generic that I would roll my eyes at most of the dialogue and scenes there. Bella seemed to like it, laughing hard at the humor there, and gasping in shock at reveals of love or admiration between the two title characters. As I watched the boy and girl on screen slowly fall in love with each other, I felt vaguely sad and full of longing. It was so easy for a man and woman to date and be open with their affections but that was not the case for two people of the same gender in love with one another. It made me hate my feelings once more; for I was certain Bella was straight and I had once been too, and there was no way for me to escape this back into the peaceful oblivion I had once been in. I wish my life could have been like this movie, but things would never be that simple again.
When I had confessed to Alice, she had said nothing about it, only told me to go after Bella. But what did she really think about me? Would she still want to be my friend? Would she discourage me from pursuing Bella further? Or would she want me to go back to pretending I was only capable of love for men?
And Edward hated the fact I liked Bella. While he was willing to talk it out with me about treating Bella as not a prize to be won, that didn't mean he was any closer to accepting my fixation on her.
And who knew how Jasper and Emmett would respond to this? Thankfully, they didn't know yet. Would Alice tell them? I really hoped she would keep her mouth shut, but that was a nigh impossible task for her at the best of times, and this was not one of those situations. She had some gossip that was really juicy and it would torture not to be able to share it with anyone.
I began to squirm in my seat, suddenly worried that all of my friend group knew about my love for Bella.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked, noticing my agitated state.
"I'm fine," I whispered back. "My foot was falling asleep."
Bella took my excuse at face value and I tried to stop wiggling around as much though it was an effort in vain. I burned to text Alice and to confirm with her if my suspicions were true. I was almost about to rush out of the theater to call her when I felt Bella's head descend upon my shoulder. I instantly ceased all movement, feeling the breath in my lungs freeze.
Holy shit, was this for real?
Bella snuggled up closer to me. "That guy's head is too much in my way," she explained after a period of silence and I nodded my head minutely, not trusting my mouth to work right now. I slowly let the air leave my lungs, my heart jumping in my chest. It was going so fast that I thought I was going to get a coronary right here and now. I only hoped she couldn't feel it.
The sweet scent of vanilla wafted up from Bella's hair and her soft stray baby hairs tickled my cheek and neck. I curled my hands on the armrest trying hard to resist the urge to touch her hair.
Suffice to say, for the rest of the movie I forgot all about Alice and concentrated on trying to slow my heart beat down.
When it finished, the lights turning on made me blink my eyes in wonder. Those few hours in the dark had felt like a dream, but I knew it wasn't one. It was all real. "What did you think of the movie?" Bella asked me, as she looped her arm around mine as we walked down the street.
"It was cute," I say the first thing on my mind and try not to groan when I realize I'm thinking of her and saying that. Thankfully, it's not too incriminating and I can pretend I thought the movie was cute.
"I thought it was overtly sappy and cliche."
"Really? But you looked like you really enjoyed it."
"Something cliche doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, or less enjoyable."
"I guess so," I don't know what to respond with and let her walk us over to a restaurant. It's nothing too fancy so we don't have to wait to be seated, instead she slides us over to a small booth just for the two of us. "I hope you don't mind. I couldn't really eat much for breakfast since I was so nervous. And, I want to treat you for helping me."
"You don't have to-"
"I want to," Bella's eyes cut into me over her menu, and they are stern and warm at the same time, telling me it is folly to argue.
"Okay, I'll let you indulge me then." I give a watery smile and pick out the cheapest and most edible thing I can find on the menu.
"Rosalie," Bella huffs in annoyance, blowing up a strand of her hair. "You are not having a salad. Not on my watch. You're getting the burgers and fries."
"And what if I happen to like salad's? And you're depriving me of a healthy meal?" I don't know where my teasing tone comes from.
"Hmmm, you can have both the salad and burger." She grins at me.
"Eating a salad after a burger doesn't cancel out the fatty carbs." I grin back.
"I don't know...that logic seems flawed. I guess you'll just have to see for yourself than if it's really true or not, by eating both." Bella snaps the menu closed and when the waitress approaches, orders for the both of us.
I don't even know if I can eat because of the nerves playing in my stomach, but I help myself to the complimentary water as we both wait for our food to arrive. Bella is incredibly chatty today and I have no idea why. I wouldn't have minded if my tongue wasn't tying itself into knots.
Come on, be cool, I scold myself for the millionth time and take a deep gulp of water, one I almost choke on when I feel Bella's leg brush mine under the table.
She pretends not to notice my sputtering and doesn't move her leg at all, keeping it there the whole time we eat our meals. I'm definitely over-analyzing what it means that her leg is there, and force myself to think that it's only there by mistake but when I finally get the nerve to move my leg, sighing in relief when the weird electricity racing up and down my body stops, she moves her leg again to press it against mine.
Should I ask her about it? Should I?
But I don't want to ruin the atmosphere, so I leave my leg there and we finish our meal with some generic conversation about schoolwork and that new TV show that's out. She pays for our bill and we head out once more, heading towards our respective cars where we parked them. "I'm glad you stayed today," she says, sincerity in her words.
"Yea, well no problem. We didn't want your outfit to go to waste, now did we." I stop when I reach my car and she stops next to me, suddenly looking really bashful, rocking back and forth on her heels, hands bunching up the ends of her dress nervously. "Yea, it was a fun fake date, wasn't it?"
"Yea, it was." She looks like she's drawing courage from my words and before she can back out, she leans in and pecks me on the cheek quickly.
Her sweet vanilla scent lingers even after she's moved back, my cheek burning like it was on fire. "Every date needs to be concluded with a kiss," she says quietly before turning away and walking swiftly to her car, parked several rows down from mine. She doesn't look back.
It takes me a good while to remember where I am and even longer to recall I've dropped my keys on the floor and have to bend over to pick them up, before sliding into my car. But I only sit behind the wheel, as my head is woozy and I don't feel steady at all.
Don't drink and drive, they say, and I am certainly intoxicated off of Bella right now.
I'm going to need someone to come pick me up and I dial Alice's number. "Hey, what's up!" she squeals into the phone. "I've been waiting and waiting so patiently for you to fill me in on the dets! And you know how hard it is to be patient if you're me."
"Alice, can you come pick me up?" I interrupt and her cheerful mood dies. She interprets my words and monotone voice as a sign of something bad.
"I'll be there in a jiffy. Just hold still, don't do anything dumb." There's rustling as she slides on her jacket.
I hang up and wait for her, head knocking against the steering wheel, because I desperately need to tell someone what just happened. Something told me, that this hadn't been a fake date at all.
A/N: Next chapter is already halfway done, so woo! Double upload this month to make up for missing last month's update. Might even be a triple if I get my plot together for this series.