December
Regrets: off top of my head, one big 1
Unwanted children running around house: 1
Plans to dispose of child: in progress. Will get to that later.
Mood: bad
First- the (relatively) less stressful shit...
1) Shitty dog name top vote/poll results:
Twinkle (all the kids must have voted for that POS name), Virginia (vetoing that grandma name), Melon (again, kids), Brownie (wtf), Cookie (prostitute name).
- Well, just like my life, those names certainly turned out disappointingly. Apparently, no one liked my Parry cast. People said it sounded like a boy name. Well, a boy name is better than a prostitute name. I guess I'll vote for Melon, the least evil of 5. I can call it Mellie.
- For now, it's "Puppy," and it's being potty trained by Carreen. Thank God. I was getting tired of my morning ritual, a game called "search-for-shit." By the way, the dog has taken to Carreen the most, which is unsurprising. Animals and kids are drawn to Carreen, probably because she is one of the few who give them the unadulterated time of day. While I can't understand why she likes them, it works out for me, as I can now dump puppy and its responsibilities on her.
2) Carreen / Mission Silent Stalker Fail:
- I asked Carreen about Charleston, and unsurprisingly, Rhett is not with the Butlers. I suspected as much, as they have never reconciled, but this leaves me at a bit of a dead end as to how to find and lure him in. I'll think about it tonight.
- As for Carreen, Carreen is settling in nicely. She is the gentlest soul in this building. I would be so pissed if someone cut off my allowance and forced me somewhere, but she is adjusting quietly and nicely without any fuss. I forgot how she smiles and says mostly kind things.
Weird. How are we related?
3) AA notes:
- I should also mention that like a true alcoholic, I believe I may be having withdrawal symptoms due to Carreen's arrival/downplaying habits. I am feeling quite ill at times, and sometimes, all I can think about is getting my hands on a bottle.
I usually don't give a shit what others think or say, but Carreen's disapproval/discovery of my vices would be like mom finding out. So, as a healthy alternative, I now drink on the low in Hazel's room.
As Rhett mentioned, it certainly is more fun to drink in company than alone... except I wonder why it was always shitty when Rhett and I drank together?
Now onto the stressful shit that I wish I never signed up for:
Project Save-Ashley-and-Beau-for-Mellie:
Lately, I have a hard time going to the Wilkeses sober. The alcohol dampens the shitty and depressing milieu there. It also makes me think of Mellie less. Plus, we've been too long of friends for Ash to censure or gossip about me.
In my inebriated state, I paid a visit to Ashley and Beau earlier today. I had been meaning to stop by. I had been visiting every 1.5 weeks or so, to make sure no one had dropped dead/starved to death/died from lack-of-hygiene-related diseases.
As soon as I walked in, I threw my hands up in the air. I mean, wtf! He had shit on his face again (Beau). Babies are disgusting germ-centers as is. Can't you at least make him more presentable?
I crinkled my nose. How many hankies was I going to give this kid? I threw him another and said, "I'm sending him to boarding school, Ashley."
Truth: I had no intention of sending him to boarding school.
He responded, shoulders stooped, while staring into the fireplace, "okay."
"OKAY?"
"Okay, Scarlett. You do what's best."
"He needs a nanny."
"Scarlett, I can't afford one." Mopey bitch. I wanted to tell him, "then go work and earn money to PAY FOR ONE," but I didn't.
Instead, I glowered at him in silence and thought WTF, MAN. Do you know how expensive boarding school is?! I'm not sending Beau to boarding school, unless absolutely necessary. Plus, Mellie would prefer I not institutionalize him.
I'll just have to try harder to find a Mrs. W2...
Meanwhile, I wanted to shove a hot poker in Ashley's eye. Wake up! Be a man! Wtf happened to that boy I met when I was 11?!
Mammy had mentioned in Paris that I was in a depression. I didn't know what that was. Looking back, she was wrong. I was not in a depression. I was chilling... THIS MAN is the definition of deep depression. He sits there and stares at a fire all day long, while his son is "raising himself" and in the process is looking like some wild wolf-child... I should begin calling the man Stares-at-Fires.
I briefly contemplated solving my problems and setting Hazel and Ashley up 1) out of desperation and 2) because she is my only female friend outside of Mammy. I realized that would be cruel, but... maybe she would like him (I hope)? Against my better judgment and desires, I couldn't take it anymore. "Fuck it, I'm taking Beau home. Temporarily!"
Emphasis on "temporarily." Bitch needs a shower ASAP, and I did not know if he was going to get one in the next 10 hours.
Upon returning home, I tossed Beau to Carreen and Prissy, and I headed to Hazel's room with a bottle of something nice, per our midnight routine, but tonight, I took it as an opportunity to work on Mission Wilkes. I cut to the chase.
Ms. Scarlett-Gets-Shit-Done: "Hazel, have you ever heard of an Ashley Wilkes?"
Of course she had.
Victim 1: "Doesn't he have a kid?"
I paused. Wasn't sure which was the right answer. "Depends. He may go to boarding school," I responded, eyes darting around, thinking of what to say to not turn her off, all the while hoping she would not run into said wolf-child tonight.
"No thanks, I don't want to take care of someone's kid."
I'm with you 100%, I thought, but my stomach lurched in desperate disappointment. "Well, would you at least meet him?" I waited for response nervously, breath baited, like the blood-sucker I am.
"Sure," she shrugged. I got up and did a little dance. She seemed amused and laughed.
I got so excited thinking I may be a potential step closer to dusting Ashley off my hands... although with Hazel... I'm not so sure it will be a match. "Like with like," I recalled my dad saying, and they are not alike.
"Would you like me to chaperone?" I asked eagerly.
She gave me a sideways look. "No, that's fine," she said, uncrossing her legs, stretching her back, and easing back in her chair. "He better not be a piece of shit."
I averted her gaze... Well, POS is a subjective definition... so, I refrained from commenting. Hopefully next time I report, they will have hit it off.
Who knew finding wife #2 would be so stressful ?
- Scarlett
Author Note: I am attempting to gauge viewer interest in the series to assess further continuation. If you are enjoying it, reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and the guest reviews thus far, and I hope you've had a few laughs.