Start of Chapter 5

"How the hell is Potter involved in your fucked-up love triangle or is it really a quartet?" Blaise wiggled his eyebrows after Draco had explained to him the nightmare situation he was in.

"What the…Merlin NO! Salazar Blaise, why would you put that in my head? And it's not a love triangle" he insisted.

"So do you? love her, I mean?" Blaise asked seriously

"NO!" he began heatedly, "I mean I don't even really know her anymore, I mean yes, she's still incredibly beautiful, not in that I-have-my-face-painted-on-way but just because she is you know? And she works with magical creatures now, so she probably still has those adorable rants about house elves and werewolves. I bet her nose still wrinkles and her eyes still get all fiery when she's arguing her point. She's probably still ridiculously bossy and bookish and a complete know-it-all that at the same time has no idea how amazing she really is" Draco paused for breath and Blaise cleared his throat, looking slightly shell-shocked.

"I was asking about Astoria mate," he told him warily.

"Well fuck." Draco groaned, opening the liqueur cabinet.

If you were to ask Draco how his conversation with Blaise turned into Pansy Parkinson, Adrian Pucey, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan, and Harry bloody scarhead Potter, belting out "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD WIZARD" while dancing around his sitting room, he honestly couldn't say. In fact, he was pretty sure he had hallucinated the entire evening until Astoria entered the wing for breakfast and gasped at Pansy laying on the sofa with Adrian passed out on top of her.

A quick exploration of the other rooms soon located a shirtless Seamus on the bathroom floor, looking suspiciously like he had had his head in the toilet a few hours ago. Dean had apparently decided it was a good idea to sleep in the bathtub but had mercifully kept his clothes on and Harry was eventually found curled up on a rug cuddling the Malfoy Christmas tree and calling it Ginny.

Ironically the two biggest drinkers, Draco and Blaise, had neatly tucked themselves into bed, albeit together. "Blaise Alvaro Zabini what the hell happened in this house?" she prodded him awake when she found them.

"Wasn't me mum" he mumbled.

Astoria let out an exasperated sigh "this has you written all over it" she smirked sassily, "don't forget Daphne used to sneak me into those dungeon parties. Though If I remember correctly you were usually found in bed with a woman the next morning" She said the word "woman" pointedly causing the Italian to peek warily over his shoulder.

"Aaarrgh" he cried when it dawned on him that the body spooning him was, in fact, Draco's" He suddenly seemed a lot more alert.

"You used to make us pancakes after" Blaise recalled, realizing who he was speaking to and putting on an angelic, hopeful, face.

"You can have pancakes when you've cleaned up this mess" she flapped at him, trying not to smile. "Now wake them up and save poor Pansy's dignity already!"

"Like she ever had any…" Blaise lost his retort under Astoria's pursed lips and an arched eyebrow. "Yes mam" he huffed.

Sitting around the breakfast table in the dining room of Malfoy Manor, no one seemed to dare speak as Bibby and Pinky, two of the youngest house elves, went around the table delivering hangover potions. It was a very odd sight and now that they were sobering up, the Gryffindor's looked especially out of their comfort zone.

It was with a loud chortle that Neville appeared in the fireplace. "Well, that's a sight I never thought I'd see," he told them all.

"ahh shut up will ya, how are you so Merry this morn'in" Seamus accused.

"Well, I was with you for all of fifteen minutes last night before I had to leave because Hannah and I had theatre tickets. I was sorry to miss your Stag though mate" he laid a hand on Draco's shoulder "maybe a bit more notice next time?"

"Stag?" Astoria asked confused. "Surely you didn't have a wild animal in the house?" she asked incredulously.

"Now I remember…" groaned Draco as the pepper-up kicked in. "I was explaining the concept of a muggle stag do to Blaise over Firewhiskey and he immediately insisted I have one. The next thing I remember you lot turned up with enough alcohol for an army"

"That was a Stag Do?" Harry started laughing "this makes so much more sense now" he laughed.

"What exactly is a Stag Do?" Astoria whispered to Seamus, who was on her right.

"It's a thing muggle's do before they get married. See, the bride is called the hen and she has a hen party, the groom is called the stag and he has a stag party. It's supposed to be one las' hurrah' for each of them before they get married"

"I see" Astoria stated, though she really didn't. "So do all muggles get married on farms?" she asked politely, causing Seamus to choke on his food as he was laughing so hard.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER" a familiar voice thundered through the halls before a spitting redhead appeared and all eyes turned to face him. He gulped noticeably.

"NEVER, IN ALL OUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? BED EMPTY. NO NOTE. YOU COULD HAVE DIED! YOU HAVE A SON!" Ginny fired at him.

"Yes love" he looked down ashamed as the other boys sniggered at his admonishment. "Oh, don't think you lot are getting off so easy" she turned to Seamus. "Did you really think we wouldn't call Padma when you turned up in wasted in Charlie's floo to ask if you could BORROW a dragon?"

"You WHAT?" Blaise roared with laughter.

"You flooed to ROMANIA and back last night?" Harry gasped.

"I hate to think what would have happened had you actually left the manor," Astoria asked faintly.

"Never left the…you haven't seen the Prophet?" Ginny asked Astoria, causing the blonde to drop her fork in dread. "It's how I knew where to find him" she jerked her head at Harry, who got the distinct impression he hadn't even seen how much trouble he was in yet. Draco looked terrified as Ginny slammed the rolled-up newspaper flat onto the table in front of them and Astoria looked like she was about to faint at the front page headline. Ginny began to read aloud furiously.

MALFOY HEIR RETURNS FOR MUGGLE MANIA!

The elusive Draco Malfoy was spotted in Hogsmeade last night with an unlikely crowd that included war hero turned Auror and former nemesis Harry Potter, along with several former Hogwart's classmates who have been identified as: Dean Thomas of The Department of International Magical Co-operation; Seamus Finnegan, designer of the popular Shamrock broomstick range; Adrian Pucey, currently reserve chaser for the Wilburn Wasps; Blaise Zabini, sole heir to the Zabini Estate and Pansy Parkinson, sole heiress to the Parkinson Estate. The odd party certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves as they closed The Three Broomsticks by singing and dancing on the tables to Three Hairy Hippogriffs by the Weird Sisters. When approached for comment, Seamus Finnegan, a former Gryffindor and long-time friend of Harry Potter, informed us that the Malfoy Heir is due to wed in less than a month and that their antics were part of a muggle wedding tradition known as "the Stag party". The normally refined group were later spotted in a grocery store in Muggle London where they are believed to have purchased eggs and flour before heading to Knockturn Alley on broomsticks where they covered famous antique shop Bourgin and Burkes with the ingredients.

Accompanying the short piece were three black and white photos. The first showed Seamus doing an Irish Jig on a table whilst Harry, Draco and Dean humiliatingly tried to copy his movements. The gathering of people crammed around their table made it look like they had been in some dingy nightclub. Pansy and Adrian could be seen roaring with laughter, their faces an image of pure glee at their classmate's embarrassment. The second picture was equally, if not more damning. They were flying three to a broom (one person over the Ministry's safety limit) and dangerously low to the ground as they headed, apparently, towards Knockturn Alley. It was a miracle none of them had received FWI's (Flying while Intoxicated). The final picture was of one very sorry looking antique shop.

"Ron is going to be so mad he wasn't invited" Harry groaned, earning him a cuff around the ear from his wife.

There was silence as everybody in the room absorbed the full facts of what had happened and what it was going to mean for their respective positions.

"Well, It might not be the right thing to say but now I'm even sadder that I missed it" Neville broke the silence and elicited furious glares from the two women. "I'm serious, I mean come on Ginny, they EGGED Borgin and Burkes, that's fantastic! Plus, half the wizarding world witnessed them table dancing, knowing full well who they are, don't you think that's punishment enough?"

The glance exchanged between the two women indicated definitely not.

One by one, the shamed figures thanked Astoria for the breakfast and shuffled their way towards the floo in disgrace. None of them dared to thank Malfoy for a good night but there was an unspoken agreement in the men's eyes. This was going to be legendary. Draco got the distinct feeling he was going to be invited to a number of Wizarding stag do's in the future.

When they were gone he turned to his waiting fiancé. "You see, it's really all Potter's fault…" he started sheepishly.

So I wanted this chapter to be a bit more light-hearted and fun and is it just me that can actually see the boys pulling Draco into something like this?

Let me know what you thought, should I have gone even harder? I would love to hear ideas on what you would have had them do for the Stag party?