Perverted thoughts: 6

I almost didn't write because I only had kid-stuff and perv thought bubbles happen this week.

Recap:

Beau has spent the past week at the Butler residence, and his hygiene has significantly improved... and his presence is certainly felt throughout the house: he uncontrollably touches things and leaves smudges. Most unwelcoming.

I never have to ask where he was or had been... he leaves a trail. Carreen runs around wiping them off-or so she thinks-but she's only one person.

I often wonder why she committed herself to the crap, celibate nunnery lifestyle, when she clearly loves children and is fit to be a mother.

A part of me feels empty when I watch her handle Beau. Not because I want that-or whatever they share-but because I'd rather have a sister to drink with. All of my sisters are absolutely unrelatable. Suellen the crazy, bitchy POS who never lets go of the past (Frank), and Carreen the maternal nun.

...There are many conversations I wish I could have with Carreen. I am very curious why she has sworn off sex, and if she is at least curious about it. She's had to have wondered about what it felt like with a Tarleton... but she's so proper (BORING). Unfortunately, I know she'll never discuss these things with me.

These are the kind of heathen thoughts that swarm my mind when I see people-and I blame it on Rhett. I used to think these were improper before I discovered what sex was. Now, I just think everyone must think about but not discuss them... It's like a shitty barrier of propriety blocks people like her from people like me.

Anyway, since Carreen has arrived, I have reigned some things in and adopted a moderate filter. Even though it's my own home, I find myself being careful around Carreen. For what, only God knows. So there. This week, it was just me, my pervy mind, Cognac, and a nun. Boring.

- Scar

2 weeks until Christmas

Beau seems to be enjoying his stay at the Butler residence. At least that makes one of us.

As soon as I think I forget his existence, I see his mark somewhere. GAH!

I had decided to keep Monster-Child until Hazel and Ashley meet, so he wouldn't become some giant, debilitating nuisance foiling my plans.

Unfortunately, Mammy and Carreen dote on him, whether out of pity or general endearment or because they miss Mellie, I don't know. I suppose the reason I tolerate the bane of his existence is because of Mellie, but I certainly don't think the amount of attention he receives is any good for a child.

Weekly highlight: 1st sister argument

Instigator: Cave Child Sociopath

It went a little something like this:

"Scarlett, are you scolding the dog?" I heard feet approaching.

"Scarlett?" She entered the room. Ugh. The nun.

Beau took cue and instantly started crying, painting me to be the villainess and cause of this situation. Lying. Mofo.

Like a sucker, Carreen rushed to his side and scooped him up.

"You shouldn't curse in front of children," she said worriedly while cradling his head.

"Oh, grow up, Carreen. He's going to hear those words eventually, and it might as well be from family," I retorted crossly.

Her eyes widened, and her brows arched into a surprised and sarcastic shape. It was in this form that we looked most related.

"You're going to spoil him," I said, squinting. Wolf-Child pointed at me, throwing his head back and wailing. I set my hands on my hips and stared into his blotchy face. What a joke.

"Scarlett, you're upsetting him."

"What-with my presence? Oh, sorry," I said sarcastically as I threw my hands in the air. I find myself doing a lot of that now.

I pointed to the fur clump on the floor. "He ripped the dog's hair out."

She acted as if I wasn't there. She bobbed up and down to appease Beau. I couldn't understand it. She was letting him get away with it. Her back was to me, his face towards me. I flipped him off.

"Carreen-we have rulesin this house."

She turns to me, "Scarlett! He's just a child."

"-Who rips dog hair out."

"You haven't even pet Twinkle more than a handful of times, Scarlett," she responded calmly, focusing on Beau.

I focused on him, too. I sent laser beams from my eyes to his.

"Uh, I don't have to, the tenants do. Besides, I'm sure he will die of over-stimulation soon from all the petting."

"It's a she."

"She. And have you ever thought that this is why the child is this way? He's spoiled, an attention-whore, and does shit behind people's backs that he KNOWS is not okay. He needs discipline."

She gave me a pointed look.

Noted. And offended.

I stomped closer towards the duo and opened my mouth to speak, but she stopped me.

"Scarlett, the only time you interact with him is to discipline him."

"Someone's got to do it around here."

"That's not good for a child or his self esteem. Have you ever thought he may be like this because he has no parents?"

"He has a parent."

"Scarlett. You know what I mean."

I ignored her. "His name is Ashley, and I feed him once a week."

"He's not a pet. And you know what I mean."

"Yeah, so does Bobo." I squinted at him again.

"Scarlett-" She wanted to stop arguing.

"He'll be fine. Shit happens when the world takes it too easy on you. Bad shit. Then, life hits them, and they have no idea what to do. Do you want him to grow up that way?"

"Scarlett, we had a mom and dad."

"-And look how we turned out! 1 nun, not ONE but TWO POSes! Our parents reallyhit the jackpot."

"Can you imagine how difficult it will be for him to have none, or at best, one?"

At this point, we diverged into parallel but separate convos. Children often do this. It looks like they are having 1 normal convo, but they are holding two separate, nonsensical ones.

I started uncontrollably zoning out as she droned on and on about feelings, etc., pipe dreams.

Finally, I opened my mouth as if to speak and all I heard was, "Have you been drinking today?"

Pause. Great diversion, I thought. +1 for Carreen.

I took my cue to leave, but before I did, I picked up the fur ball and waved it in Carreen's and Wolf-Child's faces. "This isn't good for business. No one wants to see a balding pet. Just remember- animal abusers turn into serial killers. Okay?"

Result: stalemate

Sojourning through the lobby was Twinkle. with a bald spot. She looked like a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. with a bald spot. I tried to cover the spot by manipulating her other long hairs, but it wouldn't do. Once again, I threw my hands in the air. Fugly!

Ugh. Completely unsure how to manage Wild-Child with impending holiday celebration/marketing, Ashley-Hazel meeting, and arrival of Rosemary. Borderline overwhelmed.

- les miserables

Author Note: I am attempting to gauge viewer interest in the series to assess further continuation. If you are enjoying it, reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and the guest reviews thus far, and I hope you've had a few laughs.