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36. Rod – Regretful

Rod was beside himself. Questions buzzed in his head like bees, the littlest stinging him every time he tried to ignore them in favour of the biggest: where had Naifu been taken and where could he get wheels in a hurry?

"Where do you think you're going?" Tseng appeared like a ghost as he sprinted down the corridor. He actually managed to startle Rod into stopping. You always stopped for Tseng. Always.

"Don't try to keep me here," he snarled, knowing Tseng's question was rhetorical.

"You're confined to desk duty."

"Fuck desk duty."

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "You realise it's suspension if you defy these orders, and the end of your career if you do what you're planning." It wasn't even a pretend question this time.

"You realise you spout a lot of shit when you say Turks look after their own," Rod shot back. "I know there was a note pinned to the new guy when they found him."

"His name is Eber –"

"Whatever."

"- and that's why I've already dispatched Helena and Richie to retrieve Naifu," Tseng finished calmly.

"The message was for me." Anger surrounded Rod's words. If he hadn't overheard Tseng speaking to Richie and Helena, nobody would have told him what was going on.

"Exactly."

His anger burst like a water-balloon filled with acid. "To hell with you and your scheming! You want to keep me locked up? Fine, but as long as I'm on my feet and not behind bars, I'm going to find Naifu."

"You're too involved with this."

"Damn straight!"

"No, you misunderstand. Your objectivity is too compromised. You'd be a liability in the field."

"Why? Because it's my old gang? I already killed one of them."

"No, because you're so attached to Naifu."

"She's my partner!"

"Exactly," Tseng repeated. He was maddeningly calm.

Rod stared at him, trying to figure out all his possible angles on this, but with Tseng it was impossible to tell. He could think his way through a corkscrew and come out the other side making everyone believe his thoughts were straight, had always been straight, and would always be straight. Tseng had rat bastard cunning coming out of his ears and the perfect poker face. In that instant Rod hated him more than he had ever hated anyone – except Alejandro.

Rod's fists clenched. He didn't have time for this. Naifu was in trouble and it was all his fault. He had to find and rescue her before … he didn't want to think what came after that. All that mattered was getting her back and finally finishing what Alejandro and he had started. Whatever happened, however it ended, it would end tonight.

"I'm. Going." Rod's voice was steely. The whole atmosphere in the corridor felt like how a seismic metre might look right before an earthquake hit: too much activity in too small a space, just waiting to explode.

Tseng eyed him. "Agents are already on the case. You aren't needed."

"They don't know Alejandro."

"Evidently neither do you. Or is this more you've been hiding?" Tseng's gaze was intense and remote at the same time. Rod found himself looking away. "You didn't volunteer any information about him when he first started making threats against you."

Rod winced, but kept it inside where Tseng couldn't see. "Didn't seem relevant. It was personal."

"Which is exactly why I say you're too involved to be suitable for this assignment. That was a bad judgment call because you're thinking from a personal perspective. Helena and Richie can be objective and completely professional."

"But Naifu is –"

"Out of your hands." Tseng used his Big Boss voice. Rod hated that voice. Tseng didn't bring it out often, but when he did there was no point even trying to fight him. "You compromised this company and its operatives with your self-interest and pride. You have risked the safety and wellbeing of your colleagues. We deal in information and what you withheld was vital on several levels. Don't make things worse for yourself. Go back to your desk and prepare that report on the Rage Riders as I asked."

"But –"

"Now."

Rod glared. Tseng's answering stare was devoid of emotion.

This was Rod's fault and he knew it. He had put Naifu in the path of danger – more than usual, anyway. Danger she wasn't getting paid to face. Alejandro had upped the ante and entered into a new stage in his weird game of cat and mouse – or cat and cat, as he was about to find out. No way was Rod going to hide like a mouse in a hole anymore. This was a fresh line they had crossed and, depending how, when and if they found Naifu, the bonds of old friendship, already broken, were about to be well and truly smashed. She hadn't asked to be involved in his personal shit. A welter of emotions ribboned through Rod – guilt, fury, frustration, fear. Yes, fear: on Naifu's behalf, at what Alejandro had apparently become, and at the sheer fact of what he, himself, was contemplating. The Turks and his ambitions were all Rod had left. Would he really throw them all away like he had thrown away the Rage Riders? He had tried for everything but might end up with nothing. Was anything – or anyone –worth that?

His fists were so tight his nails cut into his palms. He forced himself to loosen his grip and nodded, once, at Tseng. It wasn't hard to make it look convincingly grudging.

Tseng didn't nod back, but his expression implied a nod. How was that even possible? Rod didn't know, just as he didn't know whether Tseng actually believed his acquiescence. Rod turned away and stalked in the direction of the offices.

When he looked around Tseng was still there, but he had his phone out and was keying in a number. "Helena? Where are you now?"

Rod made it all the way to the office doors before he stopped – and he didn't stop because he suddenly had a brilliant plan. He stopped because a figure appeared in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere. It was disturbing how people kept doing that. This person, however, was the fire to Tseng's ice. Fury radiated off him, so hot and fierce it felt like the air in the corridor should shimmer with heat-haze.

"You absolute asshole," Legend snarled.

Rod juddered backwards under the force of the shove. "Hey!" He brought his fists up. "Watch it!"

"Like you watched out for Naifu?"

Rod's fists dropped. "I didn't …"

"Didn't what? Didn't know what would happen? Didn't want her involved? Didn't want to go crying to Tseng about the death-threats in case it made you look like a wuss? If your crazy homie has hurt her," Legend threatened, "I'm holding you personally responsible." His one eye blazed. Rod knew in an instant that whatever their relationship had been before – co-workers, tenuous friends, uneasy but respectful colleagues – it was gone now. Legend didn't just hate his guts, he wanted to cut them out with a rusty knife, roast them over fiery coals and throw the smoking remains into a mako reactor. What he promised for Alejandro was much, much worse.

And Rod couldn't bring himself to feel bad for them. He was too angry and disappointed in himself. This was his fault. He had caused this to happen. Whichever way you looked at it, the problems traced back to him and his piss-poor judgement.

"Alejandro is not my homie," he growled.

"Good, because if you don't kill him, I will, and then I'll kill you for not doing it first."

Rod met Legend's gaze. He meant it; he would kill them both if Naifu had been hurt. Rod got an inkling of what the Wutaians had feared during the war – the fabled 'God of the Death of the Battlefield'. Did Naifu really mean that much to the guy? As far as Rod had been aware, they weren't an item. Naifu had about as much interest in sex as he did in nuclear physics, and Legend was a known womaniser who couldn't stay faithful even if his current lover poised his tackle in a meat grinder.

None of which diminished the look in Legend's eye, or Rod's certainty that they were going to go find Naifu, orders and Tseng be damned.

"What's your plan?" he asked.

"Blow this popsicle stand. Rescue Naifu. Eviscerate whoever took her."

"And how do you plan on doing any part of that? We don't got the note Alejandro left, and you can bet nobody will help us get –" Rod blinked at the piece of paper Legend held up.

"I lifted it from the evidence locker."

"You'll be caught."

"Not if I ain't here."

Rod read what was written on the note. All colour drained from his face. "Oh shit."

"Yeah," Legend snapped. He had obviously already read Alejandro's confession of love and hate, followed by what he was planning and where Rod had to go to try and prevent it. Why else had he come straight to Rod?

The depth of Legend's anger became a lot more understandable. To him, Naifu hadn't just gotten mixed up in Rod's problems, she had been dragged into them and held responsible for things she had nothing to do with. Alejandro had addressed the note specifically to Rod and constantly referred to Naifu as 'your whore' or 'your bitch'. No wonder Tseng had refused to let Rod see this. There was no way could Rod sit tight in Shinra Tower after reading it.

He stared. He had misread the situation totally. Alejandro wasn't just playing the part of an old friend betrayed by his leader. He had cast himself as the spurned lover. He imagined himself betrayed on more levels than Rod had anticipated, and everyone knew affairs of the heart were even messier than politics. You couldn't calculate how vindictive a spurned lover could be, especially an unbalanced one. Rod had always thought of Alejandro as his friend and successor. He hadn't realised Alejandro wanted more, or thought he deserved it for their years together at the head of the Rage Riders. the way Alejandro told it, he and Rod had been destined for each other, which had been ruined when the Turks, and especially Naifu, temped Rod away and left Alejandro to pick up the pieces. Rod knew he had been short-sighted about what life would be like for the Rage Riders after he joined Shinra, but it was worse than anything he could have imagined.

"I didn't know," he said, fists trembling. "I didn't know. I'm not like that. I don't swing that way –" He wondered why he felt like he had to defend his masculinity to Legend at a time like this. The last thing on Legend's mind right now was who Rod had or hadn't slept with.

"Save it. Whether you do or you don't is beside the point. What matters is what he," Legend shook the note, "intends to do next." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Not that I don't trust Blondie and Blondie the Sequel, but I'm not willing to take any chances on Naifu's safety with this crackpot."

"We gotta get to her." Rod examined the note again. There were cryptic clues only he could have figured out about her location – places and events Alejandro referred to from when they were kids. "I think I know where she is. Or I know where to start looking. He may have left clues in a trail to throw the other Turks off the scent. It's me he wants. She's just the bait to get me to come to him."

Legend's expression darkened further. "I can get us out of the building without being spotted and I can get us fast transport. You just get us there and do what needs to be done."

Rod didn't hesitate, though part of him knew he should tell Tseng what he had figured out. He wasn't withholding information, he just knew that if he shared it right this second he would be forcibly locked up until this was over.

"I'll do it." The air suddenly felt a lot heavier in his lungs. "I'll finish this, you can be sure of that. One way or another, it ends tonight."

"You'd better finish it," Legend said grimly. "Or I will."